May 6, 2025 • 46 mins
Frugality is not a dirty F-word that so many people associate it with. In this episode, we are chatting about the heart of what frugality means to us (our “frugal manifesto” if you will!). We're flipping the script on frugality and ditching the idea that it’s all about restriction. Instead, we’re talking about how being intentional with our money, time, energy, and space can actually lead to a fuller, more satisfying life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start here to become frugal in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life here your
hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
my name is Jill, and today we are talking about
the foundations of frugality, at least the frugality that we practice.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
It's we're calling it our frugal Manifesto, kind of everything
we've come to believe about frugality jammed into forty five
minutes A deep to help you a deep dive into
modern frugality, which I do own the handle for that,
so I feel like I.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Can say you can say that, I can say that
you want. So, yeah, that's what we're going to be
talking about today. So, if you have maybe wanted to
become frugal, but you're you know, kind of feels like
an F word, frugality is not a dirty F word
that so many people associate it with, and we are
(01:18):
going to explain why today.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
But first, this episode is brought to you by good advice,
just plain old good advice, like always having an extra
roll of toilet paper, snacks and phone charge are nearby.
There's just some things we need to take heat of,
like this advice I'm about to give you. Keep your
(01:43):
savings in a high yield savings account like the one
I use at CIIT. I do actually keep my money
there because they're great. They got a great aphy. They're
an online bank, which means they can offer you the
highest APY since they don't have the overhead of a
brick and mortar bank, so you earn money on your
money monthly. Frugal friendspodcast dot com, slash ci T. That's
(02:06):
just plain old good advice. And you know what, I
just had our friend Sam, who was our very first
spending intervention guest on YouTube. If you've not seen those episodes,
don't sleep on it. Go to YouTube Frugal Friends. The
thumbnailing intervention is easy to identify Sam, and she was
(02:27):
the one where we were like, is she too generous? Anyways,
she just texted me this morning, Hey, what high old
savings account do you use? And of course I sent
her to CIT but also I should be chastising her
for the fact that we didn't get her signed up
for that a month ago. Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Where we are people do the things that they need
to do in their time. So it's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yeah, but I love that, Like I'm literally talking to
friends about this, sending them these links. And you are
my friend too, and I'm giving you good advice. Frugal friendspodcast,
dot com, slash cid. Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So we wrote a book last year called Buy What
you Love Without Going Broke, and it is the how
to guide on how to spend money, how to find
what you value, align your spending with it, and say
no to what you don't, which is being a good
steward of your financial resources. And we focused heavily on
(03:29):
financial resources. We believe frugality goes beyond financial resources. So
if you want to become frugal, this lifestyle isn't just
a spending race to the bottom. It's not an obsession
with spending or you know, an obsession with not spending.
(03:52):
It is truly an obsession with life and stewarding resources. Well,
so that's what we think frugal living is. We got
to define it right off the top, and we believe
frugal living is good stewardship of all of our finite resources,
(04:14):
and that includes money, which our book buy what you
love without going book really heavily emphasizes it's also about
being a good steward of your time, your physical space,
your mental energy, and your natural resources. And these are
all finite resources in that you have what you have
(04:35):
in the time that you have it right. You can't
manifest more at any given second. You can always make
more money, you can always declutter and create more space,
or buy a bigger house and have more space, but
what you have right now is what you have. The
only one of these resources that is not like semi
(05:00):
renewable or you can make more of is time. That
one is completely finite. What you get is what you have,
and you may have less of it than you think,
you may have more of it than you think, but
you ultimately can't control it either. So that's why we
view time as highly, if not more highly than money.
But really how we steward our time is dictated by
(05:22):
our money. So those are our top ones.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So when it comes to living frugally, well, we really
want to emphasize the intersection of all of these different resources.
So I know a lot of times when we traditionally
think about frugality, we just think about the money aspect
getting things for cheap, getting things for inexpensive, not hardly
(05:45):
paying for nothing, And we are going to talk about
how to get things for free. That is a part
of this. But our version of frugality is really looking
at all of these pieces money, time, physical space, mental energy,
natural resources, that all of it matters to our well being,
the well being of the relationships around us, our community,
(06:08):
and when we kind of look at it with this
larger lens, it actually makes the lifestyle super enjoyable, It
makes it fun, attainable, it gives it longevity, and so
it's one of the reasons why we also blend the
term values based spending with frugality. Again, one of the
things we talk about in our book By What You
(06:29):
Love Without Going Broke a Bunch is leaning into what
are the things that are bringing me the most joy
and are connecting me more with the things that matter most,
like family, friends, faith fulfilling work, doing those things more
and in ways that are making the most of stewarding
(06:50):
well all of the different resources that we've just described.
That's the main focus. Then, of course, there's things that
we spend on. There are ways that we do interact
with money. There are ways that in order to manage
our physical space well or our mental energy well, we
will choose to spend. So when it comes to that
(07:12):
aspect where money intersects with all other aspects of our personhood,
we can run through this lens of how do we
approach our spending decisions. And one of the things we've
been loving to do with recent episodes and just in
our own lives when it comes to spending money is
filtering it through these questions how can I get it
for free? How can I get it low cost, how
(07:34):
can I get a deal? And how can I spend
on it guilt free? And we feel like this framework
is really helpful for making sure that we are stewarding
our money well. But when we're asking these questions, and
of course is going to intersect with all of our
other resources because it will help us when we're thinking
how do I get it for free, it's going to
(07:55):
include community. Then that's going to be yeah, how am
I stewarding my my mental energy, my time and my
natural resource as well? So all of these questions intersect
not just for the purpose of how can I get
it as cheap as possible, but rather how can I
make sure that I am taking care of everything that's
(08:15):
been entrusted to me.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yeah, So we're going to kind of dive into these questions,
these filters and explain how they impact all areas of
our resources as well. Again, in past episodes, we've kind
of focused on the financial aspect, but there is a
component of all of these resources in every financial decision
(08:42):
we make, and so it's important to be able to
identify that. So the first one, obviously is we prioritize
getting what we need and what we want for free,
and far, far and wide, the things we consume are
wants versus needs. Sometimes we'll overrationalize something as a need
(09:04):
because we think we are irresponsible if we spend on wants.
But we can really transform how we make purchases, the
amount we impulse spend, and really how we view spending
and you know, guilt free spending, et cetera, if we
view the appropriate purchases as wants versus needs. So there
(09:29):
are some questions that we ask before we consume something.
Before we acquire something, do I need it? Can I
borrow it? This impacts our physical space because even if
we can get it for free, doesn't mean we should
get it for free. I know that is a big
(09:51):
issue in a lot of households that consider themselves frugal,
including mine. In my household, Travis, my husband cannot say no.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
If it's free, it's for me.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I think he has said that he has that tattoo
on his soul, and so it is it. It does
create a difficulty because we have a finite amount of
physical space at our house. So when you consume something
for free, you are spending physical space. So you're always
(10:24):
spending something when you consume, whether it is time, money,
physical space, mental energy, or natural resources. Right, that's what
we want you to really understand and take away from
this episode and then give you the tools to filter
to make sure that expenditure is worth it. So do
(10:45):
I need it? Can I borrow it? That way, I
have it and I can use it, but I can
give it back? Can I trade for it? So there
are these beautiful things called time banks around the country.
We have one in Saint Pete. But you can Essentially
traditional trading is like I have eggs, you have butter.
Let's trade time banks. You don't have to trade for
(11:09):
necessarily good. You can also trade for time and you
can give so maybe I need something and that is
worth four hours, and so then I would pay with
four hours, and maybe I would pay for that giving
two hours to somebody and two hours to somebody else.
(11:33):
But the hours aren't necessarily strict hours. It also takes
into consideration the level of physical or mental or you know,
career effort involved. They have ways to figure that out,
but it really is this kind of sharing, this trading
economy for the modern age. And so that's obviously time
(11:57):
banks are a you're spending with your time. Sometimes you're
spending with your physical energy or mental energy, and so
can I trade it or what can we share? I know?
Sometimes this is I mean for us specifically, we have
(12:18):
shared a phone plan with another family and even now
my mom's and not there's like eight of us or
nine of us now that are sharing in this family
phone plan, and it makes the phone plan less expensive
for all of us. And sharing a costco membership, we
(12:38):
share a cost co membership. Yeah, Sharing tools like actually
buying something that it's like okay, let's go in on
it together and we'll share it, or even sharing libraries,
tool libraries, seed libraries. And then that brings me to
the last point. Does the library offer it.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Libraries are amazing. You've heard us just geek out over
how much we love life.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Go back to the entertainment episode how to Save money
on Entertainment practically library, it's a love letter to libraries.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah, And of course you're hearing in this the undercurrent
of reciprocity that we think is so so important to
living a frugal lifestyle, that we are not just taking,
we're also giving. And so when it comes to freebies,
we can be asking ourselves what do I own that
someone else might need? Occasionally that there is a give
(13:32):
and take. And so when it comes to tools, baby gear, books,
kitchen appliances, party supplies, people often need them, but only
for the short short term. So making sure that you
know what you have to offer and they'll be more
inclined to reciprocate. And again, this is why when we
look at those higher level needs of belonging in community
(13:53):
and relationship and esteem, this blends so beautifully into it
and is a lifestyle that actually is fulfilling for us,
not just deprivation, because we are not just looking at
frugality on a money aspect, but recognizing that when we
ask these questions and we engage in this give and take.
We have more flourishing relationships. We feel better about ourselves
(14:17):
because we have purpose and something to offer. We're thinking
critically and creatively, and we're solving problems together. So yeah, again,
not just so I can get the most for the
least amount, but so that I can really be a
contributing member to my community.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, we really do believe that frugal living is a
shift in mindset to a to a village mentality, a
sharing economy. Obviously not we're not leaving capitalism, right, We're
not anti capitalism, and we're not you know, pro sharing
everything equally, you know, like communism or something. We are
(14:53):
pro sharing in our smaller communities, and that involves getting
to know the peace people in your community. It involves
a high level of invested relationships, and it takes time
to build those. So, like, when you have something that
you're willing to share, let people know. When they know
(15:14):
you're willing to share, they are more willing to share
with you. And this comes from interacting with people face
to face, voice to voice. Sure, you could post on
Facebook or post on Instagram a picture of something you're
willing to share, but that's not going to really fly
in the terms of people feeling safe with you. Right,
(15:37):
So it's putting ourselves out there into more face to
face interactions and that's what builds this small scale sharing economy.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, it's just like a win win win across the board. Okay,
So then the next filter here is if we can't
get it for free, then how can I get it
for low cost? So maybe that same or similar item
less than what you might typically pay for it. So
this is where we are thinking second hand first, your
(16:11):
thrift stores, Facebook, marketplace, pawn shops, consignment stores. That again
not just for the lowest price, but also so that
we are not contributing to more consumption the creating of
new things when most likely what we are looking for
(16:32):
already exists. So beginning to look for that pre owned
is always going to be the first filter that we
go through. And of course considering repairing instead of replacing.
There's a lot of additional benefits here from building a
new skill set, increasing self esteem and our own sense
(16:54):
of purpose creativity. Again, problem solving, not putting more into
the landfill, not buying new if we can figure out
how to make what we already have work through diy
fixes that we're youtubing or asking a friend to help
you to repair something like I just did an Instagram
(17:15):
post well somewhat recently about repairing shoes. They were great
shoes that I actually initially got from the thrift store,
so somebody else had already warned them through. Then I've
been wearing them through for about eight years now and
I just can't find anything else I like better. They're
leather boots. They're great, but the soles absolutely came off
(17:36):
of them, and I took them to a shoe repair.
I didn't have to repair it, but I did support
a local business and was able to maintain the shoes
I already owned. So it's this type of mentality too
that we want to lean into. And along with that,
it will mean investing in quality over quantity, getting the
(17:57):
thing that will last longer rather than as cheap as
possibly can, so that it will be something that you
can eventually repair.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, and this explicitly looks at the good stewardship of
natural resources. Right, we're trying to We're not against new
but we're trying to limit need like the manufacturing of
new things, because it also plays into the physical space.
That we have in the world, honestly, because we're not
(18:27):
getting another world, and all of our textile waste, our
appliance waste, our tech waste, it doesn't disappear, it doesn't
just get burned up and incinerated and then creates, you know,
more dirt for us to build on. That's not what happens.
It gets sent to other places. And right now those
(18:49):
other places are not typically in America. But we won't
be able to say that forever. So many, so much
textile waste is ending up in American landfills. It's just
a smaller percentage of what is sent overseas. And so
we want to be good stewards of the physical space
(19:10):
of our planet, right so minimizing the need for new
manufacturing is one of the ways that we can do that.
We also love these second hand websites online. There are
so many more options to get what you need secondhand online.
(19:34):
If you don't have the time resources to invest in thrifting,
yard sailing, all of that and you will pay a
little more money, but you're getting good quality and you're
saving some of that time resource. So I've seen places
like back market for tech relay for running shoes which
(19:58):
are not used running shoes, but their shoes that were
returned within the thirty to one hundred day window so
that they can't resell as quote unquote new goodbye gear
buy that's baby stuff or unclaimed baggage is stuff that
(20:19):
was literally unclaimed baggage from airports that they have a
whole store. I think it's in Kentucky or Alabama. It's
a very cool store. I would love to go. But yeah,
so there are so many more options to buy things
online secondhand. We just have to put that filter into
(20:43):
place and spend a little time looking before we jump
straight to Amazon or Walmart or wherever else we tend
to go.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
And when we can't get it secondhand, this is when
we are looking for a deal, a way to buy
the item may be new, but for more than what
you would have purchased it if you would have paid
full price for it. And this is when your rebates, coupons,
sales discount stores are going to come in clutch for us,
(21:18):
because why not if we're going to already now be
buying it, how can we get it for less expensive
so that we can free up more of our resource
of money to go towards things that might be even
more important to us. And because these resources exist, so
why not use them. Sites like Groupon where you can
(21:39):
get up to seventy percent off of local restaurants, services, travel.
I have traveled at least twice with deals off of Groupon.
We're not sponsored by any of these, by the way,
I know it sounds like we are, but we're not
living social similar to Groupon with local deals and discounts,
brads deals, they actually have sponsored us, but we do
(22:01):
think that they're We think that anyone who sponsors us
is great. We're not gonna let anybody sponsor us who
we don't think is a good site and resource for you.
But they they specifically curate deals from trustworthy sources, so
they're going to tell you what the best price, who's
offering the best price on maybe this set of sheets,
(22:22):
or this kitchen gadget, or these shoes or even travel,
sometimes even up to getting fifty percent off. Then you've
got places like slickdeals dot net. That one's community powered.
It's a deal site with reviews and alerts on different
things that you might already be buying. Local Flavor that's
(22:43):
a that's a local restaurant with coupons for the different
foods that they may offer, sometimes fifty to sixty percent off.
So being able to be aware of what are these
different deal websites and am I using them regularly? This
is back to did you mention Benny already that's second hand,
(23:05):
So we're jumping around a little bit. But that's a
browser extension that you can download and if you are
on any website and it finds that same item that
you're looking for on a second hand site, they'll tell
you about it. So let's say I'm on Patagonia's website
and I'm looking at a pullover, Benny might pop up
(23:28):
and say, actually, that same pullover in this size is
for sale right now on thread Up. Done, bouncing right
over to thread Up and getting it secondhand instead. So
that's primary. Benny is primarily clothing and accessories, choose that
kind of a thing. But these types of things can
really help us to make sure that we are being
(23:48):
as efficient as possible in shopping our second hand and
getting the deal. Like, we don't have to be sprawled
out on our living room floor clipping coupons all day.
We just need to know about these hands full of
websites that we go to first.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, deals are really something we resort to, it's not
what we jump to. And I think this is what
gives frugal people a bad name. People will bash frugality
as being scarcity minded or limited mindset, and that could
(24:23):
not be further from the truth we have. This is
an internal motivator. Frugality is an internal motivator for me.
I love the idea of freedom, financial freedom, time freedom, space, freedom,
and so when I can store my resources in these categories,
(24:44):
well I get more of it. I cannot out earn
my spending. I cannot have a big enough abundance mindset
to control my impulse spending. The spending I do because
I'm insecure. The spending I do because I'm tired and
I'm just not I don't want to think about anything.
(25:05):
I just want to spend things or out of my control.
And the only way I can find control is by
purchasing things to solve other problems. Out earning money cannot
fix those things. When we have freedom and flexibility. That
is what really gets to the root of those issues.
(25:27):
You can earn as much money as you want and
you'll still not be financially secure or feel financial freedom.
I know a ton of financially quote unquote free people
that don't feel financially free, and they are just trying
to spend as little as possible and earn as much
(25:50):
as possible out of fear that it'll go away, out
of fear about the future. And frugality is not fear.
Frugality does not look to hoard like to gain all
the deals to gain the system. Frugality does not look
to acquire and consume as much as possible at the
(26:14):
lowest price possible. That's not our brand of frugality. That's
not it. If that's what you're looking for, that's not us.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Yeah, I think that because I love finding deals, because
it's not the first thing that I'm jumping to. I
am not. My frugality has deinfluenced me from over consumption,
and so I'm only finding myself here at this place
of finding the best deal after I've done all of
(26:43):
my understanding of what do I enjoy doing? How can
I do those things in a way that doesn't cause
me to overspend? How can I decrease my impulse spending
while still having fun and enjoying my life. So by
the time I get to the point of just simply
buying something, then yeah, it's enjoyable to see how can
I get this for less cost once I've already done
(27:05):
the second hand and the free options. So it's not
this collection, it's not this overconsumption. And I think that's
one of the reasons because those people do exist. Oh
absolutely bad wrap of Look at how much candy I
bought for fifty cents. It's just like, and who's going
to eat that? And what are we going to do
(27:25):
with all this candy?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Why?
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Why just because you got a deal you could No,
I'd rather get a deal on the thing that I
knew I am going to utilize. I put time and
intentionality into this, and I was able to utilize a
resource that's available to me.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
So these are these are the foundations of frugality. And
if we can't get it for free first deciding that
we really do want it or need it, if we
can't get it for free, if we can't get it secondhand,
if we can't get a deal on it, then our
last filter is that we buy it full price and
(28:05):
we buy it guilt free, because if it's been through
all of those filters, then and we know it's aligned
with our values, it's a good purchase, and people, I'll
think a lot of frugal people will feel guilty. I
know they feel guilty for buying things full price. I
know they feel guilty buying things that are not quote
(28:28):
unquote needs or essential to life. And that's how we
do this. We give these filters and if we go
through them and we still really want it, we have
to buy it without guilt, because you only get one
life to live, and you don't know how long that
(28:49):
life is going to be. Honestly, people will use that
as an excuse to overconsume, but truly it gives us
also permission to to consume when we feel guilty or
fearful about spending.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
I think a lot of times guilt can come when
we haven't really thought through the purchase. Either not always,
it doesn't always dispel all of the guilt and shame.
There's a lot of reasons that we feel this way,
and part of that has to do with giving ourselves
space to dig into our money story and understanding our
own mindsets around these things and putting in the work
to kind of shed that. But it can help if
(29:29):
we feel really confident in knowing I've done the research,
I know how this is aligning with my goals, my values,
and being able to We talk about this a lot too.
Purchase locally if we know that we're supporting a friend,
or we're supporting a local business, we're giving back to
our community. These types of ways of spending also can
(29:52):
help us to enter into that kind of guilt free
spending mode that we're after here. And so that's how
we do it. Yeah, and I will say there was
something else I want to say on this here it
is I think too. There are times I will skip
over the deal filter hot take so yes, free secondhand,
(30:16):
and then sometimes just guilt free if it means that
I'm able to buy this locally or from a more
reputable brand. I might not be able to get a deal.
If I'm at a farmer's market buying some sort of
gadget or spice blend or whatever from people who are
within my community. Fine, I'm not going to go now
(30:39):
undercut them because I can get a deal someplace else.
My guilt free spending is supporting you and the work
that you're doing your small business, rather than Jeff Bezos.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yes you can. You have our full permission to skip
right to values based spending if you are already know
that it is aligned with your values, but if you
are unsure, these filters really do help in getting to
that guilt free spot.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
Another pillar of our frugal lifestyle, and this podcast is
it's yeah, it's a part of the framework.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
It's part of the framework. It's the fifth filter.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for
the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby
was born and his name is Williams.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died
and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
That bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill
of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Hi, my bill of the week is I was able
to reach my phone bill by twenty eight dollars each
and every month.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I just reviewed the phone plan options that they had
since it's been a few years, and now I have
more money each and every month. Yay, yay, Kelsey.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
That's amazing. That's a significant reduction.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
It always it's always good to remind everyone because we
say it all the time, but it begs reminding. Your
phone bill and your internet are the easiest bills to negotiate,
So if you are worried about negotiating, those are the
two bills to start with. Travis called about like our
bill for our Internet was increasing by ten dollars a month.
(32:46):
He just made a call because he wanted it to
stay the same, and he got off the call and
it had lowered five dollars a month.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Amazing. One time I called about Internet because I got
a mailer of how they were offering a gift card,
like one hundred dollars gift card to new people who
signed up to use their service and a lower rate.
So I called and I'm like, I am a current
(33:14):
user of your service, but I'd love this rate and
I'd love that gift card too, and they did. They
got both as as a long time user, and I
was kind of like, where do how do I get
rewarded for my loyalty? They're like, all right, sweetheart, here's
your gift card, here's your lower rate.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
H yeah, reminded that other options and you are loyal?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Yeah, Or what's to keep me from canceling and then resigning?
I've been getting this tea.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah, So I've got the time, resource and willing to
do that.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
So that's a reason to also look at your drunk mail,
but also cancel your junk mail because that's just wasted paper.
But in that situation, it did help me. Well, if
you're listening and you have a bill that you want
to share, if it has to do with lowering a
bill or just being bill and you're paying your bills.
(34:08):
Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash bill, leave it for us,
and now it's time for the lightning.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
How did you become frugal?
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Oh? Wow, I did not read this question. You did time,
you didn't fill it out?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Okay, I will give an answer. Uh so, I'll be
very transparent. I don't think I was frugal when we
started the Frugal Friends podcast. I wanted I wanted to
help people become debt free. And a big thing that
(34:48):
was a trans that was transformative to me in our
debt free journey was learning that I why I had
little control over my spending. It was easy for me
to make money side hustles came naturally to me, but
I could not out earn my mindless spending, and so
(35:12):
finding ways to lower my spending became really transformative because
that was more difficult than making money. And so when
I about twenty nineteen, I think it was maybe a
year into the show when I lost my job and
(35:33):
could no longer max out all of my retirement accounts
and lost my identity in that level of achievement that
I was really honestly defining myself. By then, I had
to let go of the idea of like white knuckling
(35:56):
your self discipline with money, and we were so obsessed
with spending being kind of like a race to the bottom,
and I've I realized that it wasn't. And I had
always been quite in tune with the real reality that
(36:17):
life is short, the end is not determined, the end
is not controllable. So I think it was really easy
easy for me. Once I had to lose my identity
of like just being a financial overachiever, coupled with I
don't know how long I'm going to get on this earth,
(36:40):
that was truly the transformation. That was the start of
my transformation to discovering this good stewardship approach.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
That's really beautiful. Thanks so yeah. Similarly, it does take
me to kind of a more meta place to answer
this question, which I do think is very indicative of
where we're finding ourselves in our understanding of frugality. I
think my answer to this is I'm still becoming frugal.
(37:15):
I think, yeah, it is a journey right well, and
because I feel like it is a lifestyle and it
is integrated to how I view myself view the world
and not just a way I manage money that I
am becoming. So as I'm in my own process of
(37:38):
becoming how I'm understanding frugality, meaning the way I steward
all of my resources and what's been entrusted to me,
I'm still learning how to do that better and better.
I will say, though, there is if I were to
kind of think about a turning point for me, and
(37:59):
this was not me ever arriving. There's been so much
that I've been able to build upon from this point.
But I remember when I was younger, my grandmother would
take me to the thrift store. She would get things
for herself. That's where she would like to buy things.
I only wanted to go to the mall, like that's
where I wanted to be.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Oh my gosh, saying my mom actually went to the
took me to the thrift store once and I refused
to go inside.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Yes, yes, I yeah, Like little me who couldn't even
drive myself, was just like, I'm not going there, it's gross.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I'm not choking in the car in the hot floor
to sun. I did eventually go in because I was
so warm.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Yeah, yeah, right, just her a little bit of acy. Yeah,
and she would take you out weather Vein, do you
remember weather Vein, air Apostel, American Eagle, Like, these are
the places that I wanted my crothing, absolutely, And then
at some point I realized, wait, they have some of
(39:00):
those clothes at the thrift store. It must have been that. Yeah,
I went begrudgingly, so I'm finally just digging through, and
then I realize I can So this is where obviously,
like thirteen year old me, I can get so much
for so little, Right, that was like kind of my understanding,
but still it was something. It was a version of
(39:21):
a building block for me to realize that I can
get the things that I want for not as much,
which frees up more opportunities. How I've understood that has
has shifted over the years. I mean I even talk
about in the book, even within the last ten years,
I have shifted from wanting to acquire as much as
possible for as little as possible to Now, I don't
(39:44):
want all that stuff. I don't want it to take
up my time to clean it and repair it and
YadA YadA. So but I will say I think that
that was a little bit of a pivotal point for
me to realize there are other ways to think critically
about how we manage our resources, and if we allow
ourselves those opportunities, then then the opportunity cost. What it
opens up for us is there's a whole new world
(40:08):
out there. And so from that point then then I
became a thrift store early and that was that was it.
You couldn't you can't take me back to weather Vane
because they closed down me. You don't exist anymore, stop me. Yeah.
So we're just building upon it and we're learning and
we're sharing it all with you guys.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. I hope
if you're in your beginning journey of potentially becoming frugal
following this lifestyle, welcome insert cult joke here. But we
think a great place to start after this is reading
our book by What You Love Without Going broke. It's
(40:49):
extremely comprehensive in how we steward the resource of money well,
and it also does touch on the other the resources,
just really hones in on the money aspect. You can
get that at buywolovebook dot com. People have nice things
to say about it, like Ryan, who gave it a
(41:11):
five star review on Amazon. Admittedly, it has been a
while since I've actually finished the book, they say let
alone within the span of two weeks. Buy What You
Love is a fun read full of amazing advice and
relatable stories. It feels like a conversation with a friend
one who wants you to feel empowered about your finances
(41:32):
and spending. Jen and Jill not only acknowledged that the
old standby financial advice to simply just not spend money
is impossible, but they challenge you to really figure out
how you can and want to spend money in your
current season of life. The lightning rounds and action steps
at the end of each chapter are what sets this
book apart and helps you internalize their words and advice.
(41:54):
I had so many revelations when I actually took the
time to look at the deeper meaning behind my spend
and coming up with creative ways to spend less and
get more of what I really want. Thank you, Jen
and Jill. I will continue to recommend this book to
friends and strangers alike.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
That's really awesome. That's one of the first times that
I've heard somebody specifically reference how helpful the lightning around
and action step were, which was something that was really
important for us to put into the book, that it
would be this integrated. You weren't just passively reading, but
actively engaged and kind of knowing what to do next.
(42:30):
I think that that's one of the things that self
help books can lack, is the but what do I
do now? Not just at the end of the book,
but every single chapter. So I'm so thrilled to hear
that that was helpful for you, Ryan, And if you
want the same kind of help for yourself, buy what
you loovebook dot com. We really believe in this thing
(42:51):
and we want we want to help you with think
it's a good resource.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
And if you have read it, please leave a rating
review on Amazon. That would be so helpful to get
the word out. Thank you, Answer you next time.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Siriani. So I've been
watching a lot of social commentary on YouTube. I know
I've talked to you about this, but some of my
(43:25):
favorite channels are Hannah Alonso and Kiki Chanel, And what
they do is they will go they will dissect social
media like influencer culture and viral trends and talk about
what it means, how we interpret it, like how it
(43:45):
permeates our identity when we see so many of them,
because it's a viral trend, you're not seeing just one,
You're seeing like twenty or thirty. Whether it's like the overconsumption,
the overorganization, the stand cups, like this is not just
a problem for women like girls like in their.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Early girls with makeup.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah, this is an issue for women in their thirties
and forties. And I showed you the tail end of
a video of a Kihishanel video I was watching, uh
yesterday about how we should start banning podcast equipment because
(44:32):
every and you know.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
If anyone with a microphone, everyone say whatever they want.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Anyone with a microphone can say whatever they want, whether
it is helpful or not. And the it primarily featured
the traditional bro podcaster, but there were some women in
there too. People should just not be allowed careful.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Here's the thing, what's beautiful about podcasts is that the
so many and we can choose. That's the thing. Anyone
can say whatever they want, and we can choose whether
or not we want to listen to them.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, and so my hope is that people more reasonable
people will say reasonable things, because it's the delusional ones
that think people want to hear them. And that's why
we stick around, because.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
We're still here.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
We've said so many times we could for sure make
more money doing other things, but this is a this
is seriously still It's been seven years, and this is
a gap that no other podcast is filling. We would
love to see more frugal living podcasts, but everybody wants
(45:49):
to talk about the economy and investing and financial news
and earning money, and so we'll stick around to be
that alternative for people who want to be better stewards
of their money, time, physical space, energy, and natural resources.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
We'll still be here, just chugging away on our microphones.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
But yeah, you should watch that video from Kiki Shadow.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
It good
Start here to become frugal in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life here your
hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
my name is Jill, and today we are talking about
the foundations of frugality, at least the frugality that we practice.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
It's we're calling it our frugal Manifesto, kind of everything
we've come to believe about frugality jammed into forty five
minutes A deep to help you a deep dive into
modern frugality, which I do own the handle for that,
so I feel like I.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Can say you can say that, I can say that
you want. So, yeah, that's what we're going to be
talking about today. So, if you have maybe wanted to
become frugal, but you're you know, kind of feels like
an F word, frugality is not a dirty F word
that so many people associate it with, and we are
(01:18):
going to explain why today.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
But first, this episode is brought to you by good advice,
just plain old good advice, like always having an extra
roll of toilet paper, snacks and phone charge are nearby.
There's just some things we need to take heat of,
like this advice I'm about to give you. Keep your
(01:43):
savings in a high yield savings account like the one
I use at CIIT. I do actually keep my money
there because they're great. They got a great aphy. They're
an online bank, which means they can offer you the
highest APY since they don't have the overhead of a
brick and mortar bank, so you earn money on your
money monthly. Frugal friendspodcast dot com, slash ci T. That's
(02:06):
just plain old good advice. And you know what, I
just had our friend Sam, who was our very first
spending intervention guest on YouTube. If you've not seen those episodes,
don't sleep on it. Go to YouTube Frugal Friends. The
thumbnailing intervention is easy to identify Sam, and she was
(02:27):
the one where we were like, is she too generous? Anyways,
she just texted me this morning, Hey, what high old
savings account do you use? And of course I sent
her to CIT but also I should be chastising her
for the fact that we didn't get her signed up
for that a month ago. Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Where we are people do the things that they need
to do in their time. So it's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yeah, but I love that, Like I'm literally talking to
friends about this, sending them these links. And you are
my friend too, and I'm giving you good advice. Frugal friendspodcast,
dot com, slash cid. Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So we wrote a book last year called Buy What
you Love Without Going Broke, and it is the how
to guide on how to spend money, how to find
what you value, align your spending with it, and say
no to what you don't, which is being a good
steward of your financial resources. And we focused heavily on
(03:29):
financial resources. We believe frugality goes beyond financial resources. So
if you want to become frugal, this lifestyle isn't just
a spending race to the bottom. It's not an obsession
with spending or you know, an obsession with not spending.
(03:52):
It is truly an obsession with life and stewarding resources. Well,
so that's what we think frugal living is. We got
to define it right off the top, and we believe
frugal living is good stewardship of all of our finite resources,
(04:14):
and that includes money, which our book buy what you
love without going book really heavily emphasizes it's also about
being a good steward of your time, your physical space,
your mental energy, and your natural resources. And these are
all finite resources in that you have what you have
(04:35):
in the time that you have it right. You can't
manifest more at any given second. You can always make
more money, you can always declutter and create more space,
or buy a bigger house and have more space, but
what you have right now is what you have. The
only one of these resources that is not like semi
(05:00):
renewable or you can make more of is time. That
one is completely finite. What you get is what you have,
and you may have less of it than you think,
you may have more of it than you think, but
you ultimately can't control it either. So that's why we
view time as highly, if not more highly than money.
But really how we steward our time is dictated by
(05:22):
our money. So those are our top ones.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So when it comes to living frugally, well, we really
want to emphasize the intersection of all of these different resources.
So I know a lot of times when we traditionally
think about frugality, we just think about the money aspect
getting things for cheap, getting things for inexpensive, not hardly
(05:45):
paying for nothing, And we are going to talk about
how to get things for free. That is a part
of this. But our version of frugality is really looking
at all of these pieces money, time, physical space, mental energy,
natural resources, that all of it matters to our well being,
the well being of the relationships around us, our community,
(06:08):
and when we kind of look at it with this
larger lens, it actually makes the lifestyle super enjoyable, It
makes it fun, attainable, it gives it longevity, and so
it's one of the reasons why we also blend the
term values based spending with frugality. Again, one of the
things we talk about in our book By What You
(06:29):
Love Without Going Broke a Bunch is leaning into what
are the things that are bringing me the most joy
and are connecting me more with the things that matter most,
like family, friends, faith fulfilling work, doing those things more
and in ways that are making the most of stewarding
(06:50):
well all of the different resources that we've just described.
That's the main focus. Then, of course, there's things that
we spend on. There are ways that we do interact
with money. There are ways that in order to manage
our physical space well or our mental energy well, we
will choose to spend. So when it comes to that
(07:12):
aspect where money intersects with all other aspects of our personhood,
we can run through this lens of how do we
approach our spending decisions. And one of the things we've
been loving to do with recent episodes and just in
our own lives when it comes to spending money is
filtering it through these questions how can I get it
for free? How can I get it low cost, how
(07:34):
can I get a deal? And how can I spend
on it guilt free? And we feel like this framework
is really helpful for making sure that we are stewarding
our money well. But when we're asking these questions, and
of course is going to intersect with all of our
other resources because it will help us when we're thinking
how do I get it for free, it's going to
(07:55):
include community. Then that's going to be yeah, how am
I stewarding my my mental energy, my time and my
natural resource as well? So all of these questions intersect
not just for the purpose of how can I get
it as cheap as possible, but rather how can I
make sure that I am taking care of everything that's
(08:15):
been entrusted to me.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yeah, So we're going to kind of dive into these questions,
these filters and explain how they impact all areas of
our resources as well. Again, in past episodes, we've kind
of focused on the financial aspect, but there is a
component of all of these resources in every financial decision
(08:42):
we make, and so it's important to be able to
identify that. So the first one, obviously is we prioritize
getting what we need and what we want for free,
and far, far and wide, the things we consume are
wants versus needs. Sometimes we'll overrationalize something as a need
(09:04):
because we think we are irresponsible if we spend on wants.
But we can really transform how we make purchases, the
amount we impulse spend, and really how we view spending
and you know, guilt free spending, et cetera, if we
view the appropriate purchases as wants versus needs. So there
(09:29):
are some questions that we ask before we consume something.
Before we acquire something, do I need it? Can I
borrow it? This impacts our physical space because even if
we can get it for free, doesn't mean we should
get it for free. I know that is a big
(09:51):
issue in a lot of households that consider themselves frugal,
including mine. In my household, Travis, my husband cannot say no.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
If it's free, it's for me.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I think he has said that he has that tattoo
on his soul, and so it is it. It does
create a difficulty because we have a finite amount of
physical space at our house. So when you consume something
for free, you are spending physical space. So you're always
(10:24):
spending something when you consume, whether it is time, money,
physical space, mental energy, or natural resources. Right, that's what
we want you to really understand and take away from
this episode and then give you the tools to filter
to make sure that expenditure is worth it. So do
(10:45):
I need it? Can I borrow it? That way, I
have it and I can use it, but I can
give it back? Can I trade for it? So there
are these beautiful things called time banks around the country.
We have one in Saint Pete. But you can Essentially
traditional trading is like I have eggs, you have butter.
Let's trade time banks. You don't have to trade for
(11:09):
necessarily good. You can also trade for time and you
can give so maybe I need something and that is
worth four hours, and so then I would pay with
four hours, and maybe I would pay for that giving
two hours to somebody and two hours to somebody else.
(11:33):
But the hours aren't necessarily strict hours. It also takes
into consideration the level of physical or mental or you know,
career effort involved. They have ways to figure that out,
but it really is this kind of sharing, this trading
economy for the modern age. And so that's obviously time
(11:57):
banks are a you're spending with your time. Sometimes you're
spending with your physical energy or mental energy, and so
can I trade it or what can we share? I know?
Sometimes this is I mean for us specifically, we have
(12:18):
shared a phone plan with another family and even now
my mom's and not there's like eight of us or
nine of us now that are sharing in this family
phone plan, and it makes the phone plan less expensive
for all of us. And sharing a costco membership, we
(12:38):
share a cost co membership. Yeah, Sharing tools like actually
buying something that it's like okay, let's go in on
it together and we'll share it, or even sharing libraries,
tool libraries, seed libraries. And then that brings me to
the last point. Does the library offer it.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Libraries are amazing. You've heard us just geek out over
how much we love life.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Go back to the entertainment episode how to Save money
on Entertainment practically library, it's a love letter to libraries.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah, And of course you're hearing in this the undercurrent
of reciprocity that we think is so so important to
living a frugal lifestyle, that we are not just taking,
we're also giving. And so when it comes to freebies,
we can be asking ourselves what do I own that
someone else might need? Occasionally that there is a give
(13:32):
and take. And so when it comes to tools, baby gear, books,
kitchen appliances, party supplies, people often need them, but only
for the short short term. So making sure that you
know what you have to offer and they'll be more
inclined to reciprocate. And again, this is why when we
look at those higher level needs of belonging in community
(13:53):
and relationship and esteem, this blends so beautifully into it
and is a lifestyle that actually is fulfilling for us,
not just deprivation, because we are not just looking at
frugality on a money aspect, but recognizing that when we
ask these questions and we engage in this give and take.
We have more flourishing relationships. We feel better about ourselves
(14:17):
because we have purpose and something to offer. We're thinking
critically and creatively, and we're solving problems together. So yeah, again,
not just so I can get the most for the
least amount, but so that I can really be a
contributing member to my community.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, we really do believe that frugal living is a
shift in mindset to a to a village mentality, a
sharing economy. Obviously not we're not leaving capitalism, right, We're
not anti capitalism, and we're not you know, pro sharing
everything equally, you know, like communism or something. We are
(14:53):
pro sharing in our smaller communities, and that involves getting
to know the peace people in your community. It involves
a high level of invested relationships, and it takes time
to build those. So, like, when you have something that
you're willing to share, let people know. When they know
(15:14):
you're willing to share, they are more willing to share
with you. And this comes from interacting with people face
to face, voice to voice. Sure, you could post on
Facebook or post on Instagram a picture of something you're
willing to share, but that's not going to really fly
in the terms of people feeling safe with you. Right,
(15:37):
So it's putting ourselves out there into more face to
face interactions and that's what builds this small scale sharing economy.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, it's just like a win win win across the board. Okay,
So then the next filter here is if we can't
get it for free, then how can I get it
for low cost? So maybe that same or similar item
less than what you might typically pay for it. So
this is where we are thinking second hand first, your
(16:11):
thrift stores, Facebook, marketplace, pawn shops, consignment stores. That again
not just for the lowest price, but also so that
we are not contributing to more consumption the creating of
new things when most likely what we are looking for
(16:32):
already exists. So beginning to look for that pre owned
is always going to be the first filter that we
go through. And of course considering repairing instead of replacing.
There's a lot of additional benefits here from building a
new skill set, increasing self esteem and our own sense
(16:54):
of purpose creativity. Again, problem solving, not putting more into
the landfill, not buying new if we can figure out
how to make what we already have work through diy
fixes that we're youtubing or asking a friend to help
you to repair something like I just did an Instagram
(17:15):
post well somewhat recently about repairing shoes. They were great
shoes that I actually initially got from the thrift store,
so somebody else had already warned them through. Then I've
been wearing them through for about eight years now and
I just can't find anything else I like better. They're
leather boots. They're great, but the soles absolutely came off
(17:36):
of them, and I took them to a shoe repair.
I didn't have to repair it, but I did support
a local business and was able to maintain the shoes
I already owned. So it's this type of mentality too
that we want to lean into. And along with that,
it will mean investing in quality over quantity, getting the
(17:57):
thing that will last longer rather than as cheap as
possibly can, so that it will be something that you
can eventually repair.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, and this explicitly looks at the good stewardship of
natural resources. Right, we're trying to We're not against new
but we're trying to limit need like the manufacturing of
new things, because it also plays into the physical space.
That we have in the world, honestly, because we're not
(18:27):
getting another world, and all of our textile waste, our
appliance waste, our tech waste, it doesn't disappear, it doesn't
just get burned up and incinerated and then creates, you know,
more dirt for us to build on. That's not what happens.
It gets sent to other places. And right now those
(18:49):
other places are not typically in America. But we won't
be able to say that forever. So many, so much
textile waste is ending up in American landfills. It's just
a smaller percentage of what is sent overseas. And so
we want to be good stewards of the physical space
(19:10):
of our planet, right so minimizing the need for new
manufacturing is one of the ways that we can do that.
We also love these second hand websites online. There are
so many more options to get what you need secondhand online.
(19:34):
If you don't have the time resources to invest in thrifting,
yard sailing, all of that and you will pay a
little more money, but you're getting good quality and you're
saving some of that time resource. So I've seen places
like back market for tech relay for running shoes which
(19:58):
are not used running shoes, but their shoes that were
returned within the thirty to one hundred day window so
that they can't resell as quote unquote new goodbye gear
buy that's baby stuff or unclaimed baggage is stuff that
(20:19):
was literally unclaimed baggage from airports that they have a
whole store. I think it's in Kentucky or Alabama. It's
a very cool store. I would love to go. But yeah,
so there are so many more options to buy things
online secondhand. We just have to put that filter into
(20:43):
place and spend a little time looking before we jump
straight to Amazon or Walmart or wherever else we tend
to go.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
And when we can't get it secondhand, this is when
we are looking for a deal, a way to buy
the item may be new, but for more than what
you would have purchased it if you would have paid
full price for it. And this is when your rebates, coupons,
sales discount stores are going to come in clutch for us,
(21:18):
because why not if we're going to already now be
buying it, how can we get it for less expensive
so that we can free up more of our resource
of money to go towards things that might be even
more important to us. And because these resources exist, so
why not use them. Sites like Groupon where you can
(21:39):
get up to seventy percent off of local restaurants, services, travel.
I have traveled at least twice with deals off of Groupon.
We're not sponsored by any of these, by the way,
I know it sounds like we are, but we're not
living social similar to Groupon with local deals and discounts,
brads deals, they actually have sponsored us, but we do
(22:01):
think that they're We think that anyone who sponsors us
is great. We're not gonna let anybody sponsor us who
we don't think is a good site and resource for you.
But they they specifically curate deals from trustworthy sources, so
they're going to tell you what the best price, who's
offering the best price on maybe this set of sheets,
(22:22):
or this kitchen gadget, or these shoes or even travel,
sometimes even up to getting fifty percent off. Then you've
got places like slickdeals dot net. That one's community powered.
It's a deal site with reviews and alerts on different
things that you might already be buying. Local Flavor that's
(22:43):
a that's a local restaurant with coupons for the different
foods that they may offer, sometimes fifty to sixty percent off.
So being able to be aware of what are these
different deal websites and am I using them regularly? This
is back to did you mention Benny already that's second hand,
(23:05):
So we're jumping around a little bit. But that's a
browser extension that you can download and if you are
on any website and it finds that same item that
you're looking for on a second hand site, they'll tell
you about it. So let's say I'm on Patagonia's website
and I'm looking at a pullover, Benny might pop up
(23:28):
and say, actually, that same pullover in this size is
for sale right now on thread Up. Done, bouncing right
over to thread Up and getting it secondhand instead. So
that's primary. Benny is primarily clothing and accessories, choose that
kind of a thing. But these types of things can
really help us to make sure that we are being
(23:48):
as efficient as possible in shopping our second hand and
getting the deal. Like, we don't have to be sprawled
out on our living room floor clipping coupons all day.
We just need to know about these hands full of
websites that we go to first.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, deals are really something we resort to, it's not
what we jump to. And I think this is what
gives frugal people a bad name. People will bash frugality
as being scarcity minded or limited mindset, and that could
(24:23):
not be further from the truth we have. This is
an internal motivator. Frugality is an internal motivator for me.
I love the idea of freedom, financial freedom, time freedom, space, freedom,
and so when I can store my resources in these categories,
(24:44):
well I get more of it. I cannot out earn
my spending. I cannot have a big enough abundance mindset
to control my impulse spending. The spending I do because
I'm insecure. The spending I do because I'm tired and
I'm just not I don't want to think about anything.
(25:05):
I just want to spend things or out of my control.
And the only way I can find control is by
purchasing things to solve other problems. Out earning money cannot
fix those things. When we have freedom and flexibility. That
is what really gets to the root of those issues.
(25:27):
You can earn as much money as you want and
you'll still not be financially secure or feel financial freedom.
I know a ton of financially quote unquote free people
that don't feel financially free, and they are just trying
to spend as little as possible and earn as much
(25:50):
as possible out of fear that it'll go away, out
of fear about the future. And frugality is not fear.
Frugality does not look to hoard like to gain all
the deals to gain the system. Frugality does not look
to acquire and consume as much as possible at the
(26:14):
lowest price possible. That's not our brand of frugality. That's
not it. If that's what you're looking for, that's not us.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Yeah, I think that because I love finding deals, because
it's not the first thing that I'm jumping to. I
am not. My frugality has deinfluenced me from over consumption,
and so I'm only finding myself here at this place
of finding the best deal after I've done all of
(26:43):
my understanding of what do I enjoy doing? How can
I do those things in a way that doesn't cause
me to overspend? How can I decrease my impulse spending
while still having fun and enjoying my life. So by
the time I get to the point of just simply
buying something, then yeah, it's enjoyable to see how can
I get this for less cost once I've already done
(27:05):
the second hand and the free options. So it's not
this collection, it's not this overconsumption. And I think that's
one of the reasons because those people do exist. Oh
absolutely bad wrap of Look at how much candy I
bought for fifty cents. It's just like, and who's going
to eat that? And what are we going to do
(27:25):
with all this candy?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Why?
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Why just because you got a deal you could No,
I'd rather get a deal on the thing that I
knew I am going to utilize. I put time and
intentionality into this, and I was able to utilize a
resource that's available to me.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
So these are these are the foundations of frugality. And
if we can't get it for free first deciding that
we really do want it or need it, if we
can't get it for free, if we can't get it secondhand,
if we can't get a deal on it, then our
last filter is that we buy it full price and
(28:05):
we buy it guilt free, because if it's been through
all of those filters, then and we know it's aligned
with our values, it's a good purchase, and people, I'll
think a lot of frugal people will feel guilty. I
know they feel guilty for buying things full price. I
know they feel guilty buying things that are not quote
(28:28):
unquote needs or essential to life. And that's how we
do this. We give these filters and if we go
through them and we still really want it, we have
to buy it without guilt, because you only get one
life to live, and you don't know how long that
(28:49):
life is going to be. Honestly, people will use that
as an excuse to overconsume, but truly it gives us
also permission to to consume when we feel guilty or
fearful about spending.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
I think a lot of times guilt can come when
we haven't really thought through the purchase. Either not always,
it doesn't always dispel all of the guilt and shame.
There's a lot of reasons that we feel this way,
and part of that has to do with giving ourselves
space to dig into our money story and understanding our
own mindsets around these things and putting in the work
to kind of shed that. But it can help if
(29:29):
we feel really confident in knowing I've done the research,
I know how this is aligning with my goals, my values,
and being able to We talk about this a lot too.
Purchase locally if we know that we're supporting a friend,
or we're supporting a local business, we're giving back to
our community. These types of ways of spending also can
(29:52):
help us to enter into that kind of guilt free
spending mode that we're after here. And so that's how
we do it. Yeah, and I will say there was
something else I want to say on this here it
is I think too. There are times I will skip
over the deal filter hot take so yes, free secondhand,
(30:16):
and then sometimes just guilt free if it means that
I'm able to buy this locally or from a more
reputable brand. I might not be able to get a deal.
If I'm at a farmer's market buying some sort of
gadget or spice blend or whatever from people who are
within my community. Fine, I'm not going to go now
(30:39):
undercut them because I can get a deal someplace else.
My guilt free spending is supporting you and the work
that you're doing your small business, rather than Jeff Bezos.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yes you can. You have our full permission to skip
right to values based spending if you are already know
that it is aligned with your values, but if you
are unsure, these filters really do help in getting to
that guilt free spot.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
Another pillar of our frugal lifestyle, and this podcast is
it's yeah, it's a part of the framework.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
It's part of the framework. It's the fifth filter.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for
the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby
was born and his name is Williams.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died
and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
That bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill
of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Hi, my bill of the week is I was able
to reach my phone bill by twenty eight dollars each
and every month.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I just reviewed the phone plan options that they had
since it's been a few years, and now I have
more money each and every month. Yay, yay, Kelsey.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
That's amazing. That's a significant reduction.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
It always it's always good to remind everyone because we
say it all the time, but it begs reminding. Your
phone bill and your internet are the easiest bills to negotiate,
So if you are worried about negotiating, those are the
two bills to start with. Travis called about like our
bill for our Internet was increasing by ten dollars a month.
(32:46):
He just made a call because he wanted it to
stay the same, and he got off the call and
it had lowered five dollars a month.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Amazing. One time I called about Internet because I got
a mailer of how they were offering a gift card,
like one hundred dollars gift card to new people who
signed up to use their service and a lower rate.
So I called and I'm like, I am a current
(33:14):
user of your service, but I'd love this rate and
I'd love that gift card too, and they did. They
got both as as a long time user, and I
was kind of like, where do how do I get
rewarded for my loyalty? They're like, all right, sweetheart, here's
your gift card, here's your lower rate.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
H yeah, reminded that other options and you are loyal?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Yeah, Or what's to keep me from canceling and then resigning?
I've been getting this tea.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah, So I've got the time, resource and willing to
do that.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
So that's a reason to also look at your drunk mail,
but also cancel your junk mail because that's just wasted paper.
But in that situation, it did help me. Well, if
you're listening and you have a bill that you want
to share, if it has to do with lowering a
bill or just being bill and you're paying your bills.
(34:08):
Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash bill, leave it for us,
and now it's time for the lightning.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
How did you become frugal?
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Oh? Wow, I did not read this question. You did time,
you didn't fill it out?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Okay, I will give an answer. Uh so, I'll be
very transparent. I don't think I was frugal when we
started the Frugal Friends podcast. I wanted I wanted to
help people become debt free. And a big thing that
(34:48):
was a trans that was transformative to me in our
debt free journey was learning that I why I had
little control over my spending. It was easy for me
to make money side hustles came naturally to me, but
I could not out earn my mindless spending, and so
(35:12):
finding ways to lower my spending became really transformative because
that was more difficult than making money. And so when
I about twenty nineteen, I think it was maybe a
year into the show when I lost my job and
(35:33):
could no longer max out all of my retirement accounts
and lost my identity in that level of achievement that
I was really honestly defining myself. By then, I had
to let go of the idea of like white knuckling
(35:56):
your self discipline with money, and we were so obsessed
with spending being kind of like a race to the bottom,
and I've I realized that it wasn't. And I had
always been quite in tune with the real reality that
(36:17):
life is short, the end is not determined, the end
is not controllable. So I think it was really easy
easy for me. Once I had to lose my identity
of like just being a financial overachiever, coupled with I
don't know how long I'm going to get on this earth,
(36:40):
that was truly the transformation. That was the start of
my transformation to discovering this good stewardship approach.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
That's really beautiful. Thanks so yeah. Similarly, it does take
me to kind of a more meta place to answer
this question, which I do think is very indicative of
where we're finding ourselves in our understanding of frugality. I
think my answer to this is I'm still becoming frugal.
(37:15):
I think, yeah, it is a journey right well, and
because I feel like it is a lifestyle and it
is integrated to how I view myself view the world
and not just a way I manage money that I
am becoming. So as I'm in my own process of
(37:38):
becoming how I'm understanding frugality, meaning the way I steward
all of my resources and what's been entrusted to me,
I'm still learning how to do that better and better.
I will say, though, there is if I were to
kind of think about a turning point for me, and
(37:59):
this was not me ever arriving. There's been so much
that I've been able to build upon from this point.
But I remember when I was younger, my grandmother would
take me to the thrift store. She would get things
for herself. That's where she would like to buy things.
I only wanted to go to the mall, like that's
where I wanted to be.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Oh my gosh, saying my mom actually went to the
took me to the thrift store once and I refused
to go inside.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Yes, yes, I yeah, Like little me who couldn't even
drive myself, was just like, I'm not going there, it's gross.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I'm not choking in the car in the hot floor
to sun. I did eventually go in because I was
so warm.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Yeah, yeah, right, just her a little bit of acy. Yeah,
and she would take you out weather Vein, do you
remember weather Vein, air Apostel, American Eagle, Like, these are
the places that I wanted my crothing, absolutely, And then
at some point I realized, wait, they have some of
(39:00):
those clothes at the thrift store. It must have been that. Yeah,
I went begrudgingly, so I'm finally just digging through, and
then I realize I can So this is where obviously,
like thirteen year old me, I can get so much
for so little, Right, that was like kind of my understanding,
but still it was something. It was a version of
(39:21):
a building block for me to realize that I can
get the things that I want for not as much,
which frees up more opportunities. How I've understood that has
has shifted over the years. I mean I even talk
about in the book, even within the last ten years,
I have shifted from wanting to acquire as much as
possible for as little as possible to Now, I don't
(39:44):
want all that stuff. I don't want it to take
up my time to clean it and repair it and
YadA YadA. So but I will say I think that
that was a little bit of a pivotal point for
me to realize there are other ways to think critically
about how we manage our resources, and if we allow
ourselves those opportunities, then then the opportunity cost. What it
opens up for us is there's a whole new world
(40:08):
out there. And so from that point then then I
became a thrift store early and that was that was it.
You couldn't you can't take me back to weather Vane
because they closed down me. You don't exist anymore, stop me. Yeah.
So we're just building upon it and we're learning and
we're sharing it all with you guys.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. I hope
if you're in your beginning journey of potentially becoming frugal
following this lifestyle, welcome insert cult joke here. But we
think a great place to start after this is reading
our book by What You Love Without Going broke. It's
(40:49):
extremely comprehensive in how we steward the resource of money well,
and it also does touch on the other the resources,
just really hones in on the money aspect. You can
get that at buywolovebook dot com. People have nice things
to say about it, like Ryan, who gave it a
(41:11):
five star review on Amazon. Admittedly, it has been a
while since I've actually finished the book, they say let
alone within the span of two weeks. Buy What You
Love is a fun read full of amazing advice and
relatable stories. It feels like a conversation with a friend
one who wants you to feel empowered about your finances
(41:32):
and spending. Jen and Jill not only acknowledged that the
old standby financial advice to simply just not spend money
is impossible, but they challenge you to really figure out
how you can and want to spend money in your
current season of life. The lightning rounds and action steps
at the end of each chapter are what sets this
book apart and helps you internalize their words and advice.
(41:54):
I had so many revelations when I actually took the
time to look at the deeper meaning behind my spend
and coming up with creative ways to spend less and
get more of what I really want. Thank you, Jen
and Jill. I will continue to recommend this book to
friends and strangers alike.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
That's really awesome. That's one of the first times that
I've heard somebody specifically reference how helpful the lightning around
and action step were, which was something that was really
important for us to put into the book, that it
would be this integrated. You weren't just passively reading, but
actively engaged and kind of knowing what to do next.
(42:30):
I think that that's one of the things that self
help books can lack, is the but what do I
do now? Not just at the end of the book,
but every single chapter. So I'm so thrilled to hear
that that was helpful for you, Ryan, And if you
want the same kind of help for yourself, buy what
you loovebook dot com. We really believe in this thing
(42:51):
and we want we want to help you with think
it's a good resource.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
And if you have read it, please leave a rating
review on Amazon. That would be so helpful to get
the word out. Thank you, Answer you next time.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Siriani. So I've been
watching a lot of social commentary on YouTube. I know
I've talked to you about this, but some of my
(43:25):
favorite channels are Hannah Alonso and Kiki Chanel, And what
they do is they will go they will dissect social
media like influencer culture and viral trends and talk about
what it means, how we interpret it, like how it
(43:45):
permeates our identity when we see so many of them,
because it's a viral trend, you're not seeing just one,
You're seeing like twenty or thirty. Whether it's like the overconsumption,
the overorganization, the stand cups, like this is not just
a problem for women like girls like in their.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Early girls with makeup.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah, this is an issue for women in their thirties
and forties. And I showed you the tail end of
a video of a Kihishanel video I was watching, uh
yesterday about how we should start banning podcast equipment because
(44:32):
every and you know.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
If anyone with a microphone, everyone say whatever they want.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Anyone with a microphone can say whatever they want, whether
it is helpful or not. And the it primarily featured
the traditional bro podcaster, but there were some women in
there too. People should just not be allowed careful.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Here's the thing, what's beautiful about podcasts is that the
so many and we can choose. That's the thing. Anyone
can say whatever they want, and we can choose whether
or not we want to listen to them.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, and so my hope is that people more reasonable
people will say reasonable things, because it's the delusional ones
that think people want to hear them. And that's why
we stick around, because.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
We're still here.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
We've said so many times we could for sure make
more money doing other things, but this is a this
is seriously still It's been seven years, and this is
a gap that no other podcast is filling. We would
love to see more frugal living podcasts, but everybody wants
(45:49):
to talk about the economy and investing and financial news
and earning money, and so we'll stick around to be
that alternative for people who want to be better stewards
of their money, time, physical space, energy, and natural resources.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
We'll still be here, just chugging away on our microphones.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
But yeah, you should watch that video from Kiki Shadow.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
It good
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