August 15, 2023 • 55 mins
In this episode, Jen and Jill delve into this thought-provoking subject: the feeling of struggling financially despite having a substantial six-figure income. Join us as they discuss the mindset behind feeling "broke" and explore why it seems like our income never quite measures up to our expectations.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode three twenty eight, What to do when you feel
broke with a six figure income.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome to the Brugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and live a life here your
hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
my name is Jill, and today we have a listener
request about what to do if, basically, if you feel
broke but you're making a really solid income. So most
two income households will break into six figures. But that
(00:47):
does not mean that you're gonna feel like you're rolling
in it. Even though it sounds really nice to be
having a six figure income, sometimes a lot of people
are living on that six figure in come, and so
that's what this episode is all.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
About, and talking about why you might feel broke. I mean,
some people probably heard this title and we're like, come on, police,
but yeah, why someone might feel this way, and then
what to do about it and probably some vulnerability all throughout.
But first, this episode is brought to you.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
By the middle.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Unfortunately, not the radical middle that's a very cool hip place.
No no, no, today's sponsor is just the middle, kind of
like monkey in the middle. Which is more about people
laughing at you and less about actually getting the ball.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
They're all keeping away from you.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Although the middle is it isn't always so bad because
hot dogs are in the middle, right in the middle
of two buns, and that's a really great thing.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And if you feel in the middle, on the fence.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
In between, we see you, and we've got the solution
for you. It's called the friend Letter. It's not too hot,
not too cold, but just right. It's free and full
of free stuff and great ideas for friends. Podcast dot
com slash friend Letter. Get it in your inbox in
(02:19):
the middle of the week and sandwiched on Monday and Friday.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
The middle.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Sometimes it's really great. Sometimes it's not, but you're never
alone there.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Oh wow, thank you, I said, thank you to the
middle you did, yes, And I mean also, this is
brought to you by the middle class, because that is
who we are speaking to today. So if you feel
yourself firmly in middle class living, then this one is
(02:50):
for you. And hopefully that's where you feel. The middle
class is shrinking. That is a statistical fact, not an opinion.
So it may be harder and harder to find yourself there,
but still most people are middle income earners, and that's
going to be in the mid six figures if you
(03:11):
are in a two income household. If you are any
single income household, you may not have a six figure income.
But I would implore you to keep listening anyway, because
there's a lot of practical tips and mindset shifts that
you could still be making for when you do get
to six figures, because you will, I believe in you.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yes, And if you want more on this topic, before
we even get into this episode, we got other episodes.
You know us, we've been here for a while. We
got episode two forty four, which is how to improve
your money mindset. We are going to talk about that
here because I think this has a lot to do
with feelings of being broke, maybe not even just circumstances
(03:55):
of being broke. So if you want to dig in
more on mindset, that's a great one to queue up.
And then we've also got episode two fifty six using
gratitude journaling to help you spend less because spoiler alert,
gratitude and spending less can also be some of the cures,
some of the antidote to when we feel like we
(04:17):
don't have enough. But first, let's get into this episode,
and there are a couple of notes that I want
to say too as we start to queue up this
first article. Is that we don't mean for this title
to be offensive. I think six figures can sound like
a lot, but there is a reality again, this is
(04:38):
a listener requested episode where we might be earning six
figures and still feeling like it's not enough. So we
want to address that while also recognizing that there are
people living on way less than this who are actually
maybe at the poverty line, not just having and experiencing
feelings of being broke. So recognize certainly where you're at
(05:01):
as you're coming to this episode, and also hear us
out on some of the mindset behind this, what might
lead a person to feel this way, circumstances as well
as emotions that go into this.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Not meaning to be offensive.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
With this topic, but also recognizing, like when I read
Jen that we were going to be doing this episode,
it definitely did hit home a bit because I have
found myself more and more considering this reality, like it
feels as though we make enough, but why does it
seem sometimes like it's not enough? Again, let's jump into
this article because I think it kind of explained some
(05:38):
of this, But one of the things I've realized for
myself is I don't think six figures means the same
thing that it meant ten years ago, potentially even five
years ago. I mean I remember ten years ago thinking, man,
if we could just make even a combined sixty thousand dollars,
like we would be set. And now it feels like,
(06:01):
you know, the low six figures for a household, especially
a household with children. It's like, depending on where you live,
this is what you need to make in order to
like meet your bills and be able to have any
sort of fun. But expectations do play into this. So
the first article does come from dough Roller, which is
(06:22):
how to make a six figure salary and still be broke.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I like this play on the like how to.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
It's kind of like following Jen on Instagram, like follow
me for more tips on and they're always super funny
and thank you backwards.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Yes, what did you think of the article? Jen?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Okay? So yes, this is We're going to go through
all of these because they are all relevant and they're
all things that you should be paying attention to even
if you don't make six figures. Yet when you do,
these are going to be the things that steal away
that average income. Because let's just put it into perspective,
(07:02):
the median American worker per person brings in just over
fifty four thousand dollars a year. So again, if it's
just you, you may not be in six figures yet.
But if it's two people, if it's dual income, then
then you're there and this episode is for you. But
so yeah, these are definitely all the things that I
(07:26):
would have included on this list. So I agree with
Doe Roller and the author.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
So the first tis off, Jill. The first one is
living in the wrong place. I don't know if I
would have titled it exactly or subtitled that that, but
essentially talking about how much it is for let's say
a six figure household income for a family of four
living in a US city like San Francisco, that low
(07:54):
six figures would qualify you as low income earning just
because of the high cost of living in that area.
San Francisco is not the only place where that's the reality.
I think really a lot of coastal cities, both on
the East Coast and the West coast, and your larger
cities are going to be higher cost of living areas.
(08:16):
And then again, as we've mentioned, depending on how many
people are trying to live off of that income coming
into the household can really steal away from what can
feel like a large amount of money. So the city
that you live in could be a contributing factor to
what makes you feel like where is all of my
(08:36):
money go? They reference how eighty thousand dollars in a
Midwestern city could stretch way further than one hundred thousand
dollars in certain coastal cities. So just where you live
plays a factor into how much money you feel you
have or even that you actually have.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah, so you don't always get to pick where you live,
but something you do get to pick is what you
live in. And the second one is being house poor.
So I think, and we'll talk about lifestyle inflation, it's
on the list, but this kind of ties into that
when we increase our incomes early on in life, we
(09:18):
automatically increase our way of living because there's nothing much
else to put that you need to put money towards.
If you're investing for retirement before you have kids or
a spouse, it's just you, and so if you get
a raise, then you're putting money into you versus later
(09:39):
on in life when we've got you know, mortgages, cars, spouse, kids,
all these responsibilities. If you get a raise, that money's
already tied up, you know where to put it. So
one of these first big ways that we tie up
our money and tie up our raises before we get
them are in the house that we buy. So the
(10:04):
article says, and math says, if you're making one hundred
thousand years on the nose, that's about eighty three hundred
and thirty three dollars per month, which sounds fantastic. So
you could get an FHA loan with a monthly mortgage
payment of about twenty five hundred dollars a month, and
that would leave you with over with about fifty seven
(10:25):
one hundred dollars for other expenses. And it also says,
remember that thirty one percent. That's a thirty one percent
mortgage rate, which is normally what the what the loan
provider is going to recommend that you stay on about
thirty percent of your income, So twenty five hundred dollars
(10:45):
a month though, but that's based on your gross income,
not your net take home or how much like all
of your other expenses are going to be. They'll they'll
take into account your debt, but not what you're going
to spend in the future with your lifestyle inflation. So
after net, that leaves you with about three four and
(11:05):
eighty nine dollars per month after your maximum mortgage. And
people will look at this maximum this mortgage like thinking, okay, whatever,
I can get approved for a because houses are so stinkin' expensive,
like now more than ever, but also because you can
anticipate making more money, But that really ties up your
(11:28):
money before you've made it and can make you house poor.
So I would say, don't get at the top of
what you're approved for. And if you're already at the top,
then it's not too late to go back. I was
just watching Remeats show on Netflix, the new I was
(11:50):
just going to reference. Yes, okay, so if you haven't
watched it, it is phenomenal, Absolutely go watch on Netflix.
It's It's re Meeat Seti's I Think How to Be
Rich I Think is the name of it. And one
of his the girls on the show, she buys this
condo because it's what's expected of you, like as a
(12:11):
young woman, she wants to be financially independent, and for her,
buying a condo is it's like a soul decision, which
is not bad. It's not a bad way to make
a money decision, like if it's if it's a heart
decision over a math decision, that's not bad. But girl
did not realize all the extra expenses that come with
(12:34):
the house, in the taxes, insurance, all of the repairs.
The condo association. Yeah, so hoa or condo association is
so expensive if you're not anticipating it. Sometimes they can
be like fifty bucks a month, but a lot of
the times, for condos especially, they're outrageous. And she literally
(13:00):
would not afford to fix her hot water heater, so
for six months she was showered like taking cold showers
because she couldn't afford it. And that's not the dream,
that's not the status, that's not what you're looking for.
She's extremely house poor, so she Yeah, I won't spoil
the the what she decides to do, but that is
(13:23):
a way that we can really get into this mess.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Well, I appreciated the standard that he gave. I have
not really heard this from other people. You hear this,
you don't want to spend more than twenty five to
thirty percent of your income on your housing expenses generally, Yeah,
the mortgage, you're going to be probably approved for a
loan at about thirty percent of your gross income. Jen,
you've already talked about why that's not a great thing
(13:49):
to base it off of because you don't actually bring
home your gross income. So then what he was also
saying was not just your mortgage, but consider all of
the other expenses having to do with your house. What
is your utility bill going to be, your electric bill,
and even the amount of money that you want to
be setting aside monthly for your house to anticipate big
(14:14):
or small repairs, and so all of that collectively combined
shouldn't be more than thirty percent of your take home
income or I mean, he does say gross income, but
still that's definitely a much more conservative approach and conservative number,
which I found really helpful because I don't think a
(14:36):
lot of people are considering what else you're going to
have to pay for beyond just the mortgage. That can
really bring down what that number actually is and what
you can feel comfortable affording so that you don't become
house poor. The next one on here is lifestyle inflation,
which I know you've already referenced, Jen, but this happened, Oh,
(15:01):
I've experienced it myself. Of as we earn more that
are expenses, even discretionary kind of rise to meet that
level of Well, now I've now I'm earning this much,
So why can't I do XYZ daily, weekly, monthly? I mean,
(15:21):
this could be right down to I'm getting takeout every
other day, i am going out to coffee every day,
I'm saying yes to as many vacations as possible.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
I'm you name it. It could even be the type
of car that you're now choosing to.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Drive, the house that you chose to buy because of
this increase in wages that you're receiving, which is excellent,
but if we don't keep our discretionary spending in check,
or even our large spending decisions in check, this could
lead us to feel as though we don't have a
lot of money, even though we are maybe living very
(15:59):
much much in the middle class, having enough to pay
our bills, go on at least one vacation a year,
and yet, depending on the other decisions we're making with
our lifestyle. That's what can eat into feeling as though, man,
where did it all go?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I would say that this is probably the most the
most important one, but it's also the hardest one to
peel back, right, Like, if you're house poor, you know
the solution to that problem is to either make more
money or downsize, But that's a very hard decision, Like
that's a very hard move to make. Lifestyle inflation is
(16:40):
a ton of micro moves that you have made to
increase your expenses, and it's easy to take off these
micro moves, but you have to peel back so many
of them, and it becomes so convoluted between like, yes,
your lifestyle should inflate you age, like I no longer
(17:02):
go to concerts where I have to stand. I will
only go to a concert if I can sit. That's
because manees and mahips are not as good as they
were in my early twenties. So yes to a sense
like your lifestyle should inflate, But where is the line
is the hard part. So this is like a it's
going to take a lot longer to reverse lifestyle inflation,
(17:25):
and it is a lifelong journey to figure out at
what point like is the right amount of lifestyle inflation,
because it's not a bad thing. Your expenses should get
higher as you earn more money as you get older.
I saw an article of a survey about purchasing luxury
(17:47):
brands and how each it's I don't know what the
point of it was, but essentially each age group, like
from Gen Z to millennials to X to boomers, the
higher it gets, the more people spend on luxury goods.
And like a duh, the older you get, the more
(18:08):
money you have to spend on luxury goods. B you're
tired of throwing away cheap crap, so you're looking for
more long lasting things so you don't have to buy
as much. Like I don't know what they were trying
to get the point across, to be, but that's not
a bad thing. Like I don't know if they were
(18:28):
trying to say it was a bad thing, like, oh,
millennials are spending so much money on luxury goods, but
it's not a bad thing. We just need to figure
out where that line is to be where you should
say yes and where you should say no, because it
is so much harder to peel back all those micro
decisions than it is to just have a line in
(18:50):
the sand.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Right off the bat, it sounds a lot like understanding
values based spending could really help with lifestyle inflation.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, just testn't it. Yeah, I think you're right. So
the next one is not saving for emergencies, and I
think this, I think this is the one that's going
to hit people the hardest. I know, lifestyle inflation is
probably the probably the most well known, and the probably
the one everyone expected us to talk about the most.
(19:19):
But I would say for most families, it is very
easy to live paycheck to paycheck until an emergency comes,
whether that emergency is your dog needs surgery, you have
car troubles, you lose your job. If you are living
(19:42):
paycheck to paycheck, if your lifestyle is inflated to that,
this is what's going to throw you over the edge.
This is what's going to put you into credit card
debt and get you feeling broke, like you can't get
out of a hole. So whatever it is that you're
doing doing stopping and making sure you have an emergency
(20:04):
fund of at least two thousand dollars, you get to
pick what makes you feel safe. If you feel safe
living with zero dollars in an emergency fund. Let's start
with two thousand. But that just to make you feel
safe safe you're not definitely have more right, So that
I think is the first. If we're talking about steps
(20:25):
to take to not feel broke with a six figure income,
this is step one. I think this should be. That
should have been number one. It's just not the sexiest answer.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Yeah, Well, it's also helpful and determining. Why do I
feel so broken? Maybe it might be because you got
hit with an emergency and you weren't you didn't adequately
save for it.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
That was one of my experiences. Maybe we'll talk about
that in the lightning round.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
On to the next one of high interest at could
be a contributing factor to feeling as though you don't
actually earn what you actually earn, and so high interest debt.
These are going to be things like your credit card
debt or any personal loans that you may have. This
could be for some of us auto loans, this high
(21:14):
interest debt that we can't seem to get out from under.
We keep making payments, but it's hardly going to the principle.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
And maybe even they are high.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Payments, you might be paying a lot every month towards
this debt, and certainly that's going to make it feel
as though our take home pay is getting really eaten
up when we allow this debt to linger. Of course,
one of the solutions there is going to be making
a game plan of getting rid of that high interest
debt as soon as possible, much sooner. You should be
(21:47):
prioritizing this over your lower interest debt. But that will
make a significant difference in how you are feeling about
your financial landscape.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, it's never a good idea to keep credit card
debt on a credit card. It does not build your credit.
You build credit just as fast by paying your cards
off every month. Uh, And it costs you so much
money it's not worth it. If you have an emergency fund,
(22:17):
then there's no reason to have a rolling balance on
a credit card. In theory, if you're making six figures,
then this is who we're talking to. But yeah, definitely
keep high interest debt at bay. And I would even yeah,
I would lump car loans into this at this point
(22:38):
because car loans have gotten much more expensive. They're not
high as high of interest as credit cards. But you
can be car poor just as you are house poor.
It's much easier to become car poor at this point
because cars are much more expensive than or much more
(22:58):
affordable than houses. So be careful of what car you get.
We are not advocating for buying jeloppies and ending up
in your mechanics family because you see them so much.
That's not what we're advocating for. We are not against
auto loans. We are against auto loans encouraging the availability
(23:19):
of auto loans, encouraging you to take out larger loans
that make you car poor.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
But like a G wagon for tax reasons totally makes sense.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Right if you see us ever getting g wagons.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
You know why.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I know it.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
It's a financial decision. It's a frugal move.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Right after I get rid of my minivan, for sure,
next car is a G wagon for tax purposes for taxers. No,
but seriously, I think so. When I got my minivan,
we talked about this on the show, that I saved
four thousand dollars by simply making one decision, like to
(24:01):
go to a different dealership to get the same van.
And it's I had this like sunk cost fallacy that
I had spent so much time with this salesperson, and
I felt bad for wasting all his time just to
get up and leave, but ultimately I had to take
care of me first, and I got up, and I left,
and I went to the other dealership, and I saved
(24:22):
that one decision saved me four thousand dollars, which over
the life of a car loan is nothing, but when
you think of it in totality, like if I have
the option to save to make one drive and save
four dollars on a carton of eggs because that's how
much they are now, or four thousand dollars, I'm going
(24:46):
to take the four thousand dollars decision, right. So this
is the way you can think about buying decisions when
we're thinking about high interest debt or debt in general,
is yeah, you may need to take out a loan,
you may need to put something on a car card,
but don't let that credit card debt roll over, and
(25:06):
don't take out all the money just because they say
you can. So the next one is massive student loan payments.
And we don't have to like reiterate this. We all
know that we're suffering because we have massive student loan payments.
But I think we'll just say, make a plan to
pay them off. And they are not as high of
(25:29):
a priority as your high interest debt or probably even
your car loan. So yeah, that's but they are. They
do tend to be an emotional burden and can limit
your spending opportunities.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I do think that there's value in identifying why do
I feel this way? Here's what I make, and yet
why does it not feel like enough?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Not to stop there?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
But I do think we need to start there of
well what are the contributing factors, and then can continue
on to say, well what we do about it? This
article wraps up where our next article begins, though, and
I do like some of the example that they give
just about how much mindset does intersect with this idea
that there are certainly circumstances, very real that can make
(26:16):
us feel like we don't have much, but there's also
so much that is imagined here where our own thinking patterns,
ways of relating, ways of viewing the world, expectations have
a lot to do with how we're feeling, even beyond
our circumstances. They give an example of say there's two
(26:36):
people who make the same amount of money and live
very similar lifestyles, but one has a ton of debt
and is living paycheck to paycheck and the other doesn't.
They look very similar, but internally the stress that they're under,
what they're dealing with, the way that they are experiencing
their circumstances is dramatically different. One they are living frugally
(26:58):
by choice, and the other they are frugally because it's
like mandatory for them because of how much debt that
they have. And so this just kind of drives home
this point that in part, being broke can be a
mindset if you are making the six figures and beyond,
we're not talking about true poverty level, but it's also
(27:21):
reliant on other factors like your overall spending choices and
how you control your budget. So I really like that
wrap up to this article because I think it's a
helpful challenge to us to Yep, let's look at why
is this happening, but also what are the other factors
of my personhood that are playing into me feeling this way?
(27:42):
And how do I take control over how I'm feeling
about my circumstances and just the reality of my circumstances.
So this next article I really like comes from Cachet
and it is five ways to repair a broke money mindset.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Clay On words like you feel broke, but it's also
a broken mindset.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
What'd you think, Jen?
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, I like this in the context that like I
hate like all lou the woo woo stuff like affirmations
and manifesting. I that's not my thing, and so sometimes
money mindset can get into that sphere. But these these
(28:29):
five tips are really the mindset shifts you need to
make in order to say no to decisions that will
inflate your lifestyle, will inflate your expenses. So I really
liked these in that sense is that they are applicable,
Like when you go into make a decision, you can
(28:53):
use these too say no. So like the first one,
first way to repair a broke any mindset appreciation in gratitude.
So yes, you can, you know, keep a gratitude journal.
We love that practice gratitude and appreciation for the people
and things in your life. Yes the article does say that,
(29:16):
but practically I know that after about three to four
years of owning my car, I have learned every single
thing about it that annoys me. And that's when I
start getting this itch to go get a new car.
But instead of doing that, I try to think of
(29:40):
a few things that I appreciate or I'm grateful for
in having what I have. Now, this isn't the same
as like my last car actually was dangerous to drive
and I had to get a new one. But if
it hadn't been dangerous, like there were a bunch of
other things like the radio didn't work and all this
other stuff that was actually livable, And so thinking of
(30:04):
things like appreciation gratitude to say, Okay, I don't actually
need a new car right now, I can keep this
one for another two to three years. Stuff like that.
Or when you're thinking, oh this house, I need a
bigger house, there's like we're, you know, three people busting
out of this house. Then like appreciation and gratitude for
(30:28):
the things that you have and for the things that
you can get rid of to make more space in
your house so you don't have to buy something bigger,
or just so many ways you can bring this in
to prolong the inevitability of these decisions, like yes you
probably will get a new house, Yes you probably will
get a new car, but you can push that off
(30:50):
and take full utilization of the things you already own
to get the full value of them through appreciation and gratitude.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
I do think gratitude is the great reset whenever feeling
displeased or yeah, discontent. I think that this is such
an antidote. It may not solve all of the problems,
but I think it's a perspective giver which can really
help realign our thoughts and actions and attitudes. So I
(31:21):
really do love this one. Number two is create your Life.
I think that's the subtitle, create your own Life.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Now.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
A lot of the wording and this one I disagree
with some of the perspective. I think it lacks the
full picture, so I'm not going to read much of it.
But what I do agree with in this concept of
creating your own life is taking ownership, recognizing that there
are some circumstances outside of our control and some circumstances
(31:54):
within our control. Maybe a combination, most likely a combination
has led us to where we can currently are, but
focusing the majority of our attention on what's ours, What
do we actually have control or influence over, and how
can we steer our efforts our capacities towards that. Maybe
(32:17):
rather than expending unnecessary energy on the things that are
outside of our control or influence that kind of keeps
us stuck, that doesn't allow any sort of forward movement,
that maybe keeps us in this state of discontent, but
rather okay, but this is ultimately my life to choose
(32:37):
what's next. Maybe there's things that happen to me that
I can't take back or didn't have any control over.
But where can I go from here? And how can
I choose to author the components of which I actually
have the ability to author and write in my own
narrative here?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yeah? I like this sounds very affirmation y, but I
don't like it for that. I like it in the
shift of mindset taking like goals from I want to
pay off five thousand dollars of debt this year. That's
a very arbitrary goal, right, instead of just saying like
(33:18):
arbitrary goals, almost reverse engineering it, or maybe not even
reverse engineering it, but like making goals that you can
control that you can control the outcome of. So like
if you may not be able to control how much
money you put towards your debt this year, because things
(33:39):
will come up, but you can control your actions, So I,
you know, I want to put five hundred minutes towards
my side hustle of delivering for Postmates, and I want
to put one hundred percent of that profit towards my debt.
It's not monetary, but you have one hundred percent control
(34:03):
over what you are doing. You're clocking this many minutes
and you're putting one hundred percent towards your dead Ultimately,
don't have control over how much you know people are
tipping you, how many jobs you're gonna get, like every time,
so you don't have control over there, but you do
have control over how many minutes you are working that.
So it's just this shift of like instead of creating
(34:28):
these arbitrary goals for your life, creating goals that you
are the master of. Like at this quote at the
end from the William Ernest, I am the master of
my fate. I am the captain of my soul. It
sounds so extreme, so powerful, but you're the master of
(34:49):
some things, not everything. So just only master and captain
the things that you know you can, Yeah, is to
focus on opportunities, and that kind of runs with the
last one is when you are focusing on the things
that you actually have control of, only then will you
(35:10):
be able to see opportunities. If you are like just
letting life happen to you, you miss opportunities for growth
or for more monetization. So I know my husband Travis
recently got a new job because he has been looking
(35:34):
for one, and he a lot of the times doesn't
like jobs come to him, but he wouldn't see them
as that like, he only sees them come to him
because he's looking. I don't know if that makes sense.
He sees the opportunities because his eyes are open to them.
So focus on the things that you have control over.
(35:56):
And when you are focused on that and you're being
the progress, then your peripherals are going to be able
to see opportunities for other ways to make money or
to save money. And yeah, I like that. Focus on
the opportunities.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Another thing. The next one that they are highlighting to
focus on is long term goals. Now, this one can
be a tricky one because I don't think we can
always have a long term goal top of mind, and
I think it's where the majority of us live. Day
in day out. We have to get tasks done and
(36:34):
do our work. But in these times of feeling broke
or identifying maybe this broke money mindset. It could be
related to being shortsighted or only looking at short term things.
They reference how a lot of times people with a
broke money mindset or scarcity mindset are more concerned with
(36:58):
looking well, healthy, or rich, or like having achieved a
certain status rather than actually having achieved that thing, and
this can eat into what is available to us, both
in the long term and the short term. So this
is where it can come back to what is the
lifestyle that we want to be creating and are there
(37:21):
elements to I might feel a pinch right now, but
it's because of these longer term things that.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
I have set up.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
It's because I am investing in my retirement, It's because
I've chosen X y Z for myself. So reminding ourselves
of these things can be a helpful mindset trick. I
don't think again that we can always be thinking about
the future in a really long term way, but this
could be helpful in shifting the way that we might
(37:49):
be feeling in the moment when we can put it
into perspective and identify what is it that we're actually
working towards.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
And then the last one is my absolute favorite one
on the list. It is to surround yourself with positive people,
and maybe not even positive, but just people who inspire
and motivate you to be more of who you want
to be. So, I mean, that's like Jill and I's
relationship to a t We initially bonded over our love
(38:22):
of being frugal, essentially, and we have made each other
want to be more frugal ever since, but in a
healthy way. And so it's those relationships and having more
of those relationships that help me keep my lifestyle inflation
in check. It helps me be grateful for the house
(38:43):
and the car and the people like in my life.
The relationships you have are going to have such an
impact on all of the other things we've talked about today.
So if you are surrounding yourself with people who are
living paycheck to paycheck, who are the jone is you're
trying to keep up with, are TikTok influencers, like or
(39:05):
buying everything that TikTok tells them to, You turn into
that person even when you don't want to. Just little
by little, so intentionally find people who are acting the
way you want to act, spending the way you want
to spend. And spend more time with those people.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Do you know who I love to surround myself with.
I do it every week and it has become this
chorus of voices, these chorus of.
Speaker 5 (39:38):
Bella love the week.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
is William. Maybe you've paid off your more, Maybe your
car died and you're happy to not have to pay
that bill anymore.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
That bills but blow bills, bill claim.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
This is the bill of the week.
Speaker 7 (40:10):
Hi, Jenjell, my name is Alissa, and my bill of
the week is my rent bill. I was listening last
summer and I heard you say that you don't have
to accept your rent for just what it is. You
can be creative and change that. So my husband and
I actually decided to move three thousand miles away to
(40:32):
a new state to escape the crazy high cost of
living that we were in and follow our values more.
And we started tracking our expenses and starting to say
for a crisis emergency fund. And now we're realizing that
(40:53):
maybe we had underestimated and overestimated certain categories because we
weren't tracking it. And now we're going to fix all
that and make sure that all the categories are right,
and then I think we'll have some leftover, and I
want to challenge ourselves to use that leftover money to
(41:14):
put towards our car payment, to get that kind of
taken off, because I thought that payoff was way out
of our scope. So thank you so much. And I
enjoy listening and I'll enjoy listening in the futures. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Oh my gosh, Alyssa, that I mean you pretty much.
Just you were the example for this entire episode.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
We couldn't have asked for anything that we could not
have asked for a better bill of the week for
this episode, and that's how you literally took our show. Yeah,
with people like you, Alissa.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yes, oh my gosh, it's people are doing it. People
are taking their expenses down to give themselves a better life,
and you can't do I hope that you're hearing this
and you're encouraged to just change things up a little
bit and let its snowball. See where the snowball goes. No, congrats, Alissa.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I mean the snowhall is usually going to go down
the hill, but in this case, that's a good thing.
Well done, Alyssa. How amazing Whenever we talk about consider moving,
it always sounds so extreme and not everybody has to
do it, but how amazing to hear your story of
having done it and what you are experiencing as a result.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Go luck, paying down that car Loan.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
You've got this, You've got this in the bag. And
if others of you listening want to be a chorus
of bills surrounding us, whether figurative bill or literal bill,
and you're just doing it, and you've got some inspo
for other people, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash bill,
(43:02):
leave us your bill. It can be as vague as
you want it to be. This is how we surround
ourselves with positivity and good influence. And now it's time
for let it around. And if I make more noises,
(43:22):
I won't have to get vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
That's too bad, because it's gonna come. So today's lightning
round question is what do you do when you get
the feeling of being broke? Go for it, John, So
I actually have so I want to get vulnerable and
say one example from me, But I also want to
(43:47):
tell a story of a listener who shall rename remain anonymous. So,
but I'll do that after you you give yours. So mine.
When I'm feeling broke is I budget. I will make
a budget. So I actually do not make a spending
plan every month because I'm pretty in tune with my spending.
(44:12):
I've spent years and years like getting handle on my spending,
increasing my income. And I am not the lover of
spreadsheets and numbers and all that. That's Jill. Jill loves
that she does.
Speaker 4 (44:30):
That I do not. I do feel protected.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah, so here is some freedom and like grace, Like
if that's not you, it doesn't have to be like
at the beginning, you're going to have to be spreadsheet girl.
You have to be at the beginning. But once you
master or not master, but like once you get control
of yourself that sounds horrible. Once you feel in control
(44:59):
and you are aware you want to be, then you
don't have to be spreadsheet girl anymore if you don't
want to be. So that's not me and I don't
do it. But when I feel anxiety about being broke,
that's when I head back in and I make the
(45:19):
plan and I see what the spending is telling me.
And most of the time the feeling of being broke
is a feeling and not a math. So that's me.
But yes, that is my biggest thing that I do
when I feel like I might be broke, which is
(45:42):
something that's happening right now. It's very it's a very
pertinent question right now. Thank you, Goldie. I guess I
can talk about that later.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Job Travis took is so amazing, and it back to
the spreadsheets, but it's what we talk about.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
It's what we shone into das. Yes, you get that
financial freedom and then you have the opportunity to leave
a toxic work environment for a much better work environment,
even though it is a pay cut.
Speaker 4 (46:17):
Yeah, and that is a.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Decision then we just recently.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
Made, and there's still emotions that go along with that.
So I think normalizing that is great doesn't mean then
that the decisions we make all feel so incredibly lovely
like sometimes it's the reality of it is there too.
I do like that though. I think sometimes there is
action we can put to our anxieties that helps to
(46:41):
alleviate it. You were able to identify here's where the
anxiety is coming from. Here's something that I can do
to take back power and control and hopefully it worked.
Speaker 4 (46:54):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
So for me, I am very similar. I definitely do
need to put action to it.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
If I am.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
Feeling broke, it will probably lead me to look at
the realities of it. I want to see it. I
want to know what the numbers are and I identify
maybe potentially the problem too, so that I could respond.
So in that process, one of the things that I
will do is try to identify the source of that
(47:19):
feeling of feeling broke. So is it a circumstance or
is it really just kind of my mindset what came
before this feeling of being broke, And that's going to
then inform what my response is going to be. So
if it's a circumstance, So here you go a vulnerable
(47:40):
example for me, I have felt felt broke. Now, I
have known the reality of not having a lot of money.
Now Eric and I combine do earn six figures, low
six figures, But there are times where I feel like
where I don't have a bunch. And some of that,
more recently is related to yes, I had an emergency savings,
(48:03):
but I realized very quickly that that didn't.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
Totally feel like enough for what we faced.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
So we got hit with an unexpected tax bill back
to back with some medical expenses and two at the
same time, really wiped out a good portion of our
emergency fund, which led me to feeling broke. We could
still cover our expenses, so there's still a lot of
gratitude there, but I think in that situation, it was
(48:31):
a circumstance that led me to feel that way. So
then making a plan for how do I build this
emergency fund back up, where can I cut in some
of my other discretionary spending so that I can feel
better about where this cushion is again, And then as
opposed to if it's just a mindset like I don't know,
(48:53):
I was just scrolling the internet and everybody's making it
look like everybody's super wealthy all of a sudden, and Okay,
it's just my mindset, then that my response to that
might just be that gratitude piece of Okay, but what
do I have and how can I create some separation
between me and like what's being sold to me?
Speaker 4 (49:13):
That might then be my response.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Yeah, I will share one last story from a listener
who sent me an email once and I will apologize
to this listener in advance because I don't think I
responded to it because it was such a it really
had me thinking this was a while ago, but I
(49:37):
think it's relevant for this particular topic. She was emailing
me very asking for help because her family was in
a lot of debt, but her like and she just
needed to know what to do, like to pay it off,
like where to start, and she said her daughter rides horses.
(49:59):
She's into a question in which, if you're unfamiliar, it
is a very expensive I mean, I'm unfamiliar. I know
it's expensive. It's just an expensive it's like the most
expensive support you could put your child in. And so
like I read it, and initially I was just like,
I can't answer this because you already know what the
(50:19):
answer is. You've got to stop with the horses. But
I thought about it, and it's easy for somebody on
the outside to judge somebody else that they don't know
who's behind a computer screen, who's genuinely asking for help
and genuinely is at a conflict, like she has built
(50:40):
up her She's had a pretty stable income. It had
to have been pretty good to get started with horses,
so making good money, but because of lifestyle inflation, and
whatever else is compounding like the first article, you know,
all the elements from the first article we talked about,
has gotten to this place where she nothing to show
(51:01):
for it, and not even that has probably negative to
show for it because she's trying to pay off debt
and realizing, like she's put her child in one of
the most expensive sports there is and at this like
dilemma of like I can't deprive my child of what
I've already given her, and I don't know where to
go from here to make it better, And like that
(51:24):
just filled me with so much despair, like I and
I did not I didn't respond to the email, like
it just it caught me for so long and then
I just forgot and I don't know, years later, I
thought about it. But I don't want that struggle for
any of you listening, And like maybe it's not horses,
(51:44):
it's whatever, but I don't want that internal struggle for
you that you have put your children and your family
into this position to where in order to bring your
family up, you'd have to take away something from somebody else.
And sometimes that's going to have to be what it is.
(52:07):
But if it doesn't have to be, think about the
things we've talked about today and don't let it get
to that place.
Speaker 3 (52:13):
Yeah, well that is weighty, because you know, we don't
want deprivation for anybody, not deprivation for deprivation's sake. Sometimes
there are sacrifices that need to be made depending on
our financial situation. But you're right, you're identifying, like choosing
deprivation for somebody else that we love, that's a really,
(52:36):
really rough place to be. Yeah, and maybe there's some
other maneuvers that could happen in those circumstances. And I
think the ultimate goal would be the why of how
do we then get get back to this place? How
could we make some changes where this could be something
that is affordable for us?
Speaker 7 (52:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (52:59):
Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. I hope
that this was encouraging to you. If it was, we
would love for you to leave a rating and review
on Apple Podcasts like this one from Zia Amazon that says,
great hosts and great discussions. I enjoy listening to the hosts.
Their conversations are very fun to listen to, and they
(53:22):
share very fun and practical tips that I can use.
Their conversations with the guests are very insightful and I
get a lot of perspective when it comes to financial insights.
So thank you, Ziah. And if you didn't like it,
leave us a rating and review on good Reads. No,
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
Thanks everyone for listening. You can leave us a rating
and review. We of course love the ones who are
really enjoying this to help others who might enjoy it
find us, and you can do that where if you're
listening to podcasts, and also sign up for our newsletter
because that's another great way to get even more tips.
Speaker 4 (54:03):
Beyond what we talk about.
Speaker 3 (54:04):
This podcast Google friendspodcast dot com, slash friend letter.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
See you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3 (54:24):
Oh yeah, this one such a tough one mindset expectations.
It did have me thinking about expectations a lot, like
what do I think I'm going to get out of
this life?
Speaker 6 (54:39):
What did I deep? For an after show? I'm sorry,
you've done. I know you can't do that right now. Okay,
I'm sorry. What's for dinner? What are you expecting to
eat later? I don't even know anymore. I don't know
(55:02):
what I want from this life for dinner. I think
I have steak thawing.
Speaker 4 (55:11):
Whoa, I know, right, I.
Speaker 1 (55:15):
Get the big thing of steak that's like twenty bucks,
so I can have it twice. Nice save on steak.
Speaker 4 (55:26):
Don't beef it up out
Episode three twenty eight, What to do when you feel
broke with a six figure income.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome to the Brugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and live a life here your
hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
my name is Jill, and today we have a listener
request about what to do if, basically, if you feel
broke but you're making a really solid income. So most
two income households will break into six figures. But that
(00:47):
does not mean that you're gonna feel like you're rolling
in it. Even though it sounds really nice to be
having a six figure income, sometimes a lot of people
are living on that six figure in come, and so
that's what this episode is all.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
About, and talking about why you might feel broke. I mean,
some people probably heard this title and we're like, come on, police,
but yeah, why someone might feel this way, and then
what to do about it and probably some vulnerability all throughout.
But first, this episode is brought to you.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
By the middle.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Unfortunately, not the radical middle that's a very cool hip place.
No no, no, today's sponsor is just the middle, kind of
like monkey in the middle. Which is more about people
laughing at you and less about actually getting the ball.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
They're all keeping away from you.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Although the middle is it isn't always so bad because
hot dogs are in the middle, right in the middle
of two buns, and that's a really great thing.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And if you feel in the middle, on the fence.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
In between, we see you, and we've got the solution
for you. It's called the friend Letter. It's not too hot,
not too cold, but just right. It's free and full
of free stuff and great ideas for friends. Podcast dot
com slash friend Letter. Get it in your inbox in
(02:19):
the middle of the week and sandwiched on Monday and Friday.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
The middle.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Sometimes it's really great. Sometimes it's not, but you're never
alone there.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Oh wow, thank you, I said, thank you to the
middle you did, yes, And I mean also, this is
brought to you by the middle class, because that is
who we are speaking to today. So if you feel
yourself firmly in middle class living, then this one is
(02:50):
for you. And hopefully that's where you feel. The middle
class is shrinking. That is a statistical fact, not an opinion.
So it may be harder and harder to find yourself there,
but still most people are middle income earners, and that's
going to be in the mid six figures if you
(03:11):
are in a two income household. If you are any
single income household, you may not have a six figure income.
But I would implore you to keep listening anyway, because
there's a lot of practical tips and mindset shifts that
you could still be making for when you do get
to six figures, because you will, I believe in you.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yes, And if you want more on this topic, before
we even get into this episode, we got other episodes.
You know us, we've been here for a while. We
got episode two forty four, which is how to improve
your money mindset. We are going to talk about that
here because I think this has a lot to do
with feelings of being broke, maybe not even just circumstances
(03:55):
of being broke. So if you want to dig in
more on mindset, that's a great one to queue up.
And then we've also got episode two fifty six using
gratitude journaling to help you spend less because spoiler alert,
gratitude and spending less can also be some of the cures,
some of the antidote to when we feel like we
(04:17):
don't have enough. But first, let's get into this episode,
and there are a couple of notes that I want
to say too as we start to queue up this
first article. Is that we don't mean for this title
to be offensive. I think six figures can sound like
a lot, but there is a reality again, this is
(04:38):
a listener requested episode where we might be earning six
figures and still feeling like it's not enough. So we
want to address that while also recognizing that there are
people living on way less than this who are actually
maybe at the poverty line, not just having and experiencing
feelings of being broke. So recognize certainly where you're at
(05:01):
as you're coming to this episode, and also hear us
out on some of the mindset behind this, what might
lead a person to feel this way, circumstances as well
as emotions that go into this.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Not meaning to be offensive.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
With this topic, but also recognizing, like when I read
Jen that we were going to be doing this episode,
it definitely did hit home a bit because I have
found myself more and more considering this reality, like it
feels as though we make enough, but why does it
seem sometimes like it's not enough? Again, let's jump into
this article because I think it kind of explained some
(05:38):
of this, But one of the things I've realized for
myself is I don't think six figures means the same
thing that it meant ten years ago, potentially even five
years ago. I mean I remember ten years ago thinking, man,
if we could just make even a combined sixty thousand dollars,
like we would be set. And now it feels like,
(06:01):
you know, the low six figures for a household, especially
a household with children. It's like, depending on where you live,
this is what you need to make in order to
like meet your bills and be able to have any
sort of fun. But expectations do play into this. So
the first article does come from dough Roller, which is
(06:22):
how to make a six figure salary and still be broke.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I like this play on the like how to.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
It's kind of like following Jen on Instagram, like follow
me for more tips on and they're always super funny
and thank you backwards.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Yes, what did you think of the article? Jen?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Okay? So yes, this is We're going to go through
all of these because they are all relevant and they're
all things that you should be paying attention to even
if you don't make six figures. Yet when you do,
these are going to be the things that steal away
that average income. Because let's just put it into perspective,
(07:02):
the median American worker per person brings in just over
fifty four thousand dollars a year. So again, if it's
just you, you may not be in six figures yet.
But if it's two people, if it's dual income, then
then you're there and this episode is for you. But
so yeah, these are definitely all the things that I
(07:26):
would have included on this list. So I agree with
Doe Roller and the author.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
So the first tis off, Jill. The first one is
living in the wrong place. I don't know if I
would have titled it exactly or subtitled that that, but
essentially talking about how much it is for let's say
a six figure household income for a family of four
living in a US city like San Francisco, that low
(07:54):
six figures would qualify you as low income earning just
because of the high cost of living in that area.
San Francisco is not the only place where that's the reality.
I think really a lot of coastal cities, both on
the East Coast and the West coast, and your larger
cities are going to be higher cost of living areas.
(08:16):
And then again, as we've mentioned, depending on how many
people are trying to live off of that income coming
into the household can really steal away from what can
feel like a large amount of money. So the city
that you live in could be a contributing factor to
what makes you feel like where is all of my
(08:36):
money go? They reference how eighty thousand dollars in a
Midwestern city could stretch way further than one hundred thousand
dollars in certain coastal cities. So just where you live
plays a factor into how much money you feel you
have or even that you actually have.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah, so you don't always get to pick where you live,
but something you do get to pick is what you
live in. And the second one is being house poor.
So I think, and we'll talk about lifestyle inflation, it's
on the list, but this kind of ties into that
when we increase our incomes early on in life, we
(09:18):
automatically increase our way of living because there's nothing much
else to put that you need to put money towards.
If you're investing for retirement before you have kids or
a spouse, it's just you, and so if you get
a raise, then you're putting money into you versus later
(09:39):
on in life when we've got you know, mortgages, cars, spouse, kids,
all these responsibilities. If you get a raise, that money's
already tied up, you know where to put it. So
one of these first big ways that we tie up
our money and tie up our raises before we get
them are in the house that we buy. So the
(10:04):
article says, and math says, if you're making one hundred
thousand years on the nose, that's about eighty three hundred
and thirty three dollars per month, which sounds fantastic. So
you could get an FHA loan with a monthly mortgage
payment of about twenty five hundred dollars a month, and
that would leave you with over with about fifty seven
(10:25):
one hundred dollars for other expenses. And it also says,
remember that thirty one percent. That's a thirty one percent
mortgage rate, which is normally what the what the loan
provider is going to recommend that you stay on about
thirty percent of your income, So twenty five hundred dollars
(10:45):
a month though, but that's based on your gross income,
not your net take home or how much like all
of your other expenses are going to be. They'll they'll
take into account your debt, but not what you're going
to spend in the future with your lifestyle inflation. So
after net, that leaves you with about three four and
(11:05):
eighty nine dollars per month after your maximum mortgage. And
people will look at this maximum this mortgage like thinking, okay, whatever,
I can get approved for a because houses are so stinkin' expensive,
like now more than ever, but also because you can
anticipate making more money, But that really ties up your
(11:28):
money before you've made it and can make you house poor.
So I would say, don't get at the top of
what you're approved for. And if you're already at the top,
then it's not too late to go back. I was
just watching Remeats show on Netflix, the new I was
(11:50):
just going to reference. Yes, okay, so if you haven't
watched it, it is phenomenal, Absolutely go watch on Netflix.
It's It's re Meeat Seti's I Think How to Be
Rich I Think is the name of it. And one
of his the girls on the show, she buys this
condo because it's what's expected of you, like as a
(12:11):
young woman, she wants to be financially independent, and for her,
buying a condo is it's like a soul decision, which
is not bad. It's not a bad way to make
a money decision, like if it's if it's a heart
decision over a math decision, that's not bad. But girl
did not realize all the extra expenses that come with
(12:34):
the house, in the taxes, insurance, all of the repairs.
The condo association. Yeah, so hoa or condo association is
so expensive if you're not anticipating it. Sometimes they can
be like fifty bucks a month, but a lot of
the times, for condos especially, they're outrageous. And she literally
(13:00):
would not afford to fix her hot water heater, so
for six months she was showered like taking cold showers
because she couldn't afford it. And that's not the dream,
that's not the status, that's not what you're looking for.
She's extremely house poor, so she Yeah, I won't spoil
the the what she decides to do, but that is
(13:23):
a way that we can really get into this mess.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Well, I appreciated the standard that he gave. I have
not really heard this from other people. You hear this,
you don't want to spend more than twenty five to
thirty percent of your income on your housing expenses generally, Yeah,
the mortgage, you're going to be probably approved for a
loan at about thirty percent of your gross income. Jen,
you've already talked about why that's not a great thing
(13:49):
to base it off of because you don't actually bring
home your gross income. So then what he was also
saying was not just your mortgage, but consider all of
the other expenses having to do with your house. What
is your utility bill going to be, your electric bill,
and even the amount of money that you want to
be setting aside monthly for your house to anticipate big
(14:14):
or small repairs, and so all of that collectively combined
shouldn't be more than thirty percent of your take home
income or I mean, he does say gross income, but
still that's definitely a much more conservative approach and conservative number,
which I found really helpful because I don't think a
(14:36):
lot of people are considering what else you're going to
have to pay for beyond just the mortgage. That can
really bring down what that number actually is and what
you can feel comfortable affording so that you don't become
house poor. The next one on here is lifestyle inflation,
which I know you've already referenced, Jen, but this happened, Oh,
(15:01):
I've experienced it myself. Of as we earn more that
are expenses, even discretionary kind of rise to meet that
level of Well, now I've now I'm earning this much,
So why can't I do XYZ daily, weekly, monthly? I mean,
(15:21):
this could be right down to I'm getting takeout every
other day, i am going out to coffee every day,
I'm saying yes to as many vacations as possible.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
I'm you name it. It could even be the type
of car that you're now choosing to.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Drive, the house that you chose to buy because of
this increase in wages that you're receiving, which is excellent,
but if we don't keep our discretionary spending in check,
or even our large spending decisions in check, this could
lead us to feel as though we don't have a
lot of money, even though we are maybe living very
(15:59):
much much in the middle class, having enough to pay
our bills, go on at least one vacation a year,
and yet, depending on the other decisions we're making with
our lifestyle. That's what can eat into feeling as though, man,
where did it all go?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I would say that this is probably the most the
most important one, but it's also the hardest one to
peel back, right, Like, if you're house poor, you know
the solution to that problem is to either make more
money or downsize, But that's a very hard decision, Like
that's a very hard move to make. Lifestyle inflation is
(16:40):
a ton of micro moves that you have made to
increase your expenses, and it's easy to take off these
micro moves, but you have to peel back so many
of them, and it becomes so convoluted between like, yes,
your lifestyle should inflate you age, like I no longer
(17:02):
go to concerts where I have to stand. I will
only go to a concert if I can sit. That's
because manees and mahips are not as good as they
were in my early twenties. So yes to a sense
like your lifestyle should inflate, But where is the line
is the hard part. So this is like a it's
going to take a lot longer to reverse lifestyle inflation,
(17:25):
and it is a lifelong journey to figure out at
what point like is the right amount of lifestyle inflation,
because it's not a bad thing. Your expenses should get
higher as you earn more money as you get older.
I saw an article of a survey about purchasing luxury
(17:47):
brands and how each it's I don't know what the
point of it was, but essentially each age group, like
from Gen Z to millennials to X to boomers, the
higher it gets, the more people spend on luxury goods.
And like a duh, the older you get, the more
(18:08):
money you have to spend on luxury goods. B you're
tired of throwing away cheap crap, so you're looking for
more long lasting things so you don't have to buy
as much. Like I don't know what they were trying
to get the point across, to be, but that's not
a bad thing. Like I don't know if they were
(18:28):
trying to say it was a bad thing, like, oh,
millennials are spending so much money on luxury goods, but
it's not a bad thing. We just need to figure
out where that line is to be where you should
say yes and where you should say no, because it
is so much harder to peel back all those micro
decisions than it is to just have a line in
(18:50):
the sand.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Right off the bat, it sounds a lot like understanding
values based spending could really help with lifestyle inflation.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, just testn't it. Yeah, I think you're right. So
the next one is not saving for emergencies, and I
think this, I think this is the one that's going
to hit people the hardest. I know, lifestyle inflation is
probably the probably the most well known, and the probably
the one everyone expected us to talk about the most.
(19:19):
But I would say for most families, it is very
easy to live paycheck to paycheck until an emergency comes,
whether that emergency is your dog needs surgery, you have
car troubles, you lose your job. If you are living
(19:42):
paycheck to paycheck, if your lifestyle is inflated to that,
this is what's going to throw you over the edge.
This is what's going to put you into credit card
debt and get you feeling broke, like you can't get
out of a hole. So whatever it is that you're
doing doing stopping and making sure you have an emergency
(20:04):
fund of at least two thousand dollars, you get to
pick what makes you feel safe. If you feel safe
living with zero dollars in an emergency fund. Let's start
with two thousand. But that just to make you feel
safe safe you're not definitely have more right, So that
I think is the first. If we're talking about steps
(20:25):
to take to not feel broke with a six figure income,
this is step one. I think this should be. That
should have been number one. It's just not the sexiest answer.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Yeah, Well, it's also helpful and determining. Why do I
feel so broken? Maybe it might be because you got
hit with an emergency and you weren't you didn't adequately
save for it.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
That was one of my experiences. Maybe we'll talk about
that in the lightning round.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
On to the next one of high interest at could
be a contributing factor to feeling as though you don't
actually earn what you actually earn, and so high interest debt.
These are going to be things like your credit card
debt or any personal loans that you may have. This
could be for some of us auto loans, this high
(21:14):
interest debt that we can't seem to get out from under.
We keep making payments, but it's hardly going to the principle.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
And maybe even they are high.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Payments, you might be paying a lot every month towards
this debt, and certainly that's going to make it feel
as though our take home pay is getting really eaten
up when we allow this debt to linger. Of course,
one of the solutions there is going to be making
a game plan of getting rid of that high interest
debt as soon as possible, much sooner. You should be
(21:47):
prioritizing this over your lower interest debt. But that will
make a significant difference in how you are feeling about
your financial landscape.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, it's never a good idea to keep credit card
debt on a credit card. It does not build your credit.
You build credit just as fast by paying your cards
off every month. Uh, And it costs you so much
money it's not worth it. If you have an emergency fund,
(22:17):
then there's no reason to have a rolling balance on
a credit card. In theory, if you're making six figures,
then this is who we're talking to. But yeah, definitely
keep high interest debt at bay. And I would even yeah,
I would lump car loans into this at this point
(22:38):
because car loans have gotten much more expensive. They're not
high as high of interest as credit cards. But you
can be car poor just as you are house poor.
It's much easier to become car poor at this point
because cars are much more expensive than or much more
(22:58):
affordable than houses. So be careful of what car you get.
We are not advocating for buying jeloppies and ending up
in your mechanics family because you see them so much.
That's not what we're advocating for. We are not against
auto loans. We are against auto loans encouraging the availability
(23:19):
of auto loans, encouraging you to take out larger loans
that make you car poor.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
But like a G wagon for tax reasons totally makes sense.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Right if you see us ever getting g wagons.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
You know why.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I know it.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
It's a financial decision. It's a frugal move.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Right after I get rid of my minivan, for sure,
next car is a G wagon for tax purposes for taxers. No,
but seriously, I think so. When I got my minivan,
we talked about this on the show, that I saved
four thousand dollars by simply making one decision, like to
(24:01):
go to a different dealership to get the same van.
And it's I had this like sunk cost fallacy that
I had spent so much time with this salesperson, and
I felt bad for wasting all his time just to
get up and leave, but ultimately I had to take
care of me first, and I got up, and I left,
and I went to the other dealership, and I saved
(24:22):
that one decision saved me four thousand dollars, which over
the life of a car loan is nothing, but when
you think of it in totality, like if I have
the option to save to make one drive and save
four dollars on a carton of eggs because that's how
much they are now, or four thousand dollars, I'm going
(24:46):
to take the four thousand dollars decision, right. So this
is the way you can think about buying decisions when
we're thinking about high interest debt or debt in general,
is yeah, you may need to take out a loan,
you may need to put something on a car card,
but don't let that credit card debt roll over, and
(25:06):
don't take out all the money just because they say
you can. So the next one is massive student loan payments.
And we don't have to like reiterate this. We all
know that we're suffering because we have massive student loan payments.
But I think we'll just say, make a plan to
pay them off. And they are not as high of
(25:29):
a priority as your high interest debt or probably even
your car loan. So yeah, that's but they are. They
do tend to be an emotional burden and can limit
your spending opportunities.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I do think that there's value in identifying why do
I feel this way? Here's what I make, and yet
why does it not feel like enough?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Not to stop there?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
But I do think we need to start there of
well what are the contributing factors, and then can continue
on to say, well what we do about it? This
article wraps up where our next article begins, though, and
I do like some of the example that they give
just about how much mindset does intersect with this idea
that there are certainly circumstances, very real that can make
(26:16):
us feel like we don't have much, but there's also
so much that is imagined here where our own thinking patterns,
ways of relating, ways of viewing the world, expectations have
a lot to do with how we're feeling, even beyond
our circumstances. They give an example of say there's two
(26:36):
people who make the same amount of money and live
very similar lifestyles, but one has a ton of debt
and is living paycheck to paycheck and the other doesn't.
They look very similar, but internally the stress that they're under,
what they're dealing with, the way that they are experiencing
their circumstances is dramatically different. One they are living frugally
(26:58):
by choice, and the other they are frugally because it's
like mandatory for them because of how much debt that
they have. And so this just kind of drives home
this point that in part, being broke can be a
mindset if you are making the six figures and beyond,
we're not talking about true poverty level, but it's also
(27:21):
reliant on other factors like your overall spending choices and
how you control your budget. So I really like that
wrap up to this article because I think it's a
helpful challenge to us to Yep, let's look at why
is this happening, but also what are the other factors
of my personhood that are playing into me feeling this way?
(27:42):
And how do I take control over how I'm feeling
about my circumstances and just the reality of my circumstances.
So this next article I really like comes from Cachet
and it is five ways to repair a broke money mindset.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Clay On words like you feel broke, but it's also
a broken mindset.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
What'd you think, Jen?
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, I like this in the context that like I
hate like all lou the woo woo stuff like affirmations
and manifesting. I that's not my thing, and so sometimes
money mindset can get into that sphere. But these these
(28:29):
five tips are really the mindset shifts you need to
make in order to say no to decisions that will
inflate your lifestyle, will inflate your expenses. So I really
liked these in that sense is that they are applicable,
Like when you go into make a decision, you can
(28:53):
use these too say no. So like the first one,
first way to repair a broke any mindset appreciation in gratitude.
So yes, you can, you know, keep a gratitude journal.
We love that practice gratitude and appreciation for the people
and things in your life. Yes the article does say that,
(29:16):
but practically I know that after about three to four
years of owning my car, I have learned every single
thing about it that annoys me. And that's when I
start getting this itch to go get a new car.
But instead of doing that, I try to think of
(29:40):
a few things that I appreciate or I'm grateful for
in having what I have. Now, this isn't the same
as like my last car actually was dangerous to drive
and I had to get a new one. But if
it hadn't been dangerous, like there were a bunch of
other things like the radio didn't work and all this
other stuff that was actually livable, And so thinking of
(30:04):
things like appreciation gratitude to say, Okay, I don't actually
need a new car right now, I can keep this
one for another two to three years. Stuff like that.
Or when you're thinking, oh this house, I need a
bigger house, there's like we're, you know, three people busting
out of this house. Then like appreciation and gratitude for
(30:28):
the things that you have and for the things that
you can get rid of to make more space in
your house so you don't have to buy something bigger,
or just so many ways you can bring this in
to prolong the inevitability of these decisions, like yes you
probably will get a new house, Yes you probably will
get a new car, but you can push that off
(30:50):
and take full utilization of the things you already own
to get the full value of them through appreciation and gratitude.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
I do think gratitude is the great reset whenever feeling
displeased or yeah, discontent. I think that this is such
an antidote. It may not solve all of the problems,
but I think it's a perspective giver which can really
help realign our thoughts and actions and attitudes. So I
(31:21):
really do love this one. Number two is create your Life.
I think that's the subtitle, create your own Life.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Now.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
A lot of the wording and this one I disagree
with some of the perspective. I think it lacks the
full picture, so I'm not going to read much of it.
But what I do agree with in this concept of
creating your own life is taking ownership, recognizing that there
are some circumstances outside of our control and some circumstances
(31:54):
within our control. Maybe a combination, most likely a combination
has led us to where we can currently are, but
focusing the majority of our attention on what's ours, What
do we actually have control or influence over, and how
can we steer our efforts our capacities towards that. Maybe
(32:17):
rather than expending unnecessary energy on the things that are
outside of our control or influence that kind of keeps
us stuck, that doesn't allow any sort of forward movement,
that maybe keeps us in this state of discontent, but
rather okay, but this is ultimately my life to choose
(32:37):
what's next. Maybe there's things that happen to me that
I can't take back or didn't have any control over.
But where can I go from here? And how can
I choose to author the components of which I actually
have the ability to author and write in my own
narrative here?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yeah? I like this sounds very affirmation y, but I
don't like it for that. I like it in the
shift of mindset taking like goals from I want to
pay off five thousand dollars of debt this year. That's
a very arbitrary goal, right, instead of just saying like
(33:18):
arbitrary goals, almost reverse engineering it, or maybe not even
reverse engineering it, but like making goals that you can
control that you can control the outcome of. So like
if you may not be able to control how much
money you put towards your debt this year, because things
(33:39):
will come up, but you can control your actions, So I,
you know, I want to put five hundred minutes towards
my side hustle of delivering for Postmates, and I want
to put one hundred percent of that profit towards my debt.
It's not monetary, but you have one hundred percent control
(34:03):
over what you are doing. You're clocking this many minutes
and you're putting one hundred percent towards your dead Ultimately,
don't have control over how much you know people are
tipping you, how many jobs you're gonna get, like every time,
so you don't have control over there, but you do
have control over how many minutes you are working that.
So it's just this shift of like instead of creating
(34:28):
these arbitrary goals for your life, creating goals that you
are the master of. Like at this quote at the
end from the William Ernest, I am the master of
my fate. I am the captain of my soul. It
sounds so extreme, so powerful, but you're the master of
(34:49):
some things, not everything. So just only master and captain
the things that you know you can, Yeah, is to
focus on opportunities, and that kind of runs with the
last one is when you are focusing on the things
that you actually have control of, only then will you
(35:10):
be able to see opportunities. If you are like just
letting life happen to you, you miss opportunities for growth
or for more monetization. So I know my husband Travis
recently got a new job because he has been looking
(35:34):
for one, and he a lot of the times doesn't
like jobs come to him, but he wouldn't see them
as that like, he only sees them come to him
because he's looking. I don't know if that makes sense.
He sees the opportunities because his eyes are open to them.
So focus on the things that you have control over.
(35:56):
And when you are focused on that and you're being
the progress, then your peripherals are going to be able
to see opportunities for other ways to make money or
to save money. And yeah, I like that. Focus on
the opportunities.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Another thing. The next one that they are highlighting to
focus on is long term goals. Now, this one can
be a tricky one because I don't think we can
always have a long term goal top of mind, and
I think it's where the majority of us live. Day
in day out. We have to get tasks done and
(36:34):
do our work. But in these times of feeling broke
or identifying maybe this broke money mindset. It could be
related to being shortsighted or only looking at short term things.
They reference how a lot of times people with a
broke money mindset or scarcity mindset are more concerned with
(36:58):
looking well, healthy, or rich, or like having achieved a
certain status rather than actually having achieved that thing, and
this can eat into what is available to us, both
in the long term and the short term. So this
is where it can come back to what is the
lifestyle that we want to be creating and are there
(37:21):
elements to I might feel a pinch right now, but
it's because of these longer term things that.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
I have set up.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
It's because I am investing in my retirement, It's because
I've chosen X y Z for myself. So reminding ourselves
of these things can be a helpful mindset trick. I
don't think again that we can always be thinking about
the future in a really long term way, but this
could be helpful in shifting the way that we might
(37:49):
be feeling in the moment when we can put it
into perspective and identify what is it that we're actually
working towards.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
And then the last one is my absolute favorite one
on the list. It is to surround yourself with positive people,
and maybe not even positive, but just people who inspire
and motivate you to be more of who you want
to be. So, I mean, that's like Jill and I's
relationship to a t We initially bonded over our love
(38:22):
of being frugal, essentially, and we have made each other
want to be more frugal ever since, but in a
healthy way. And so it's those relationships and having more
of those relationships that help me keep my lifestyle inflation
in check. It helps me be grateful for the house
(38:43):
and the car and the people like in my life.
The relationships you have are going to have such an
impact on all of the other things we've talked about today.
So if you are surrounding yourself with people who are
living paycheck to paycheck, who are the jone is you're
trying to keep up with, are TikTok influencers, like or
(39:05):
buying everything that TikTok tells them to, You turn into
that person even when you don't want to. Just little
by little, so intentionally find people who are acting the
way you want to act, spending the way you want
to spend. And spend more time with those people.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Do you know who I love to surround myself with.
I do it every week and it has become this
chorus of voices, these chorus of.
Speaker 5 (39:38):
Bella love the week.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
is William. Maybe you've paid off your more, Maybe your
car died and you're happy to not have to pay
that bill anymore.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
That bills but blow bills, bill claim.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
This is the bill of the week.
Speaker 7 (40:10):
Hi, Jenjell, my name is Alissa, and my bill of
the week is my rent bill. I was listening last
summer and I heard you say that you don't have
to accept your rent for just what it is. You
can be creative and change that. So my husband and
I actually decided to move three thousand miles away to
(40:32):
a new state to escape the crazy high cost of
living that we were in and follow our values more.
And we started tracking our expenses and starting to say
for a crisis emergency fund. And now we're realizing that
(40:53):
maybe we had underestimated and overestimated certain categories because we
weren't tracking it. And now we're going to fix all
that and make sure that all the categories are right,
and then I think we'll have some leftover, and I
want to challenge ourselves to use that leftover money to
(41:14):
put towards our car payment, to get that kind of
taken off, because I thought that payoff was way out
of our scope. So thank you so much. And I
enjoy listening and I'll enjoy listening in the futures. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Oh my gosh, Alyssa, that I mean you pretty much.
Just you were the example for this entire episode.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
We couldn't have asked for anything that we could not
have asked for a better bill of the week for
this episode, and that's how you literally took our show. Yeah,
with people like you, Alissa.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yes, oh my gosh, it's people are doing it. People
are taking their expenses down to give themselves a better life,
and you can't do I hope that you're hearing this
and you're encouraged to just change things up a little
bit and let its snowball. See where the snowball goes. No, congrats, Alissa.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I mean the snowhall is usually going to go down
the hill, but in this case, that's a good thing.
Well done, Alyssa. How amazing Whenever we talk about consider moving,
it always sounds so extreme and not everybody has to
do it, but how amazing to hear your story of
having done it and what you are experiencing as a result.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Go luck, paying down that car Loan.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
You've got this, You've got this in the bag. And
if others of you listening want to be a chorus
of bills surrounding us, whether figurative bill or literal bill,
and you're just doing it, and you've got some inspo
for other people, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash bill,
(43:02):
leave us your bill. It can be as vague as
you want it to be. This is how we surround
ourselves with positivity and good influence. And now it's time
for let it around. And if I make more noises,
(43:22):
I won't have to get vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
That's too bad, because it's gonna come. So today's lightning
round question is what do you do when you get
the feeling of being broke? Go for it, John, So
I actually have so I want to get vulnerable and
say one example from me, But I also want to
(43:47):
tell a story of a listener who shall rename remain anonymous. So,
but I'll do that after you you give yours. So mine.
When I'm feeling broke is I budget. I will make
a budget. So I actually do not make a spending
plan every month because I'm pretty in tune with my spending.
(44:12):
I've spent years and years like getting handle on my spending,
increasing my income. And I am not the lover of
spreadsheets and numbers and all that. That's Jill. Jill loves
that she does.
Speaker 4 (44:30):
That I do not. I do feel protected.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah, so here is some freedom and like grace, Like
if that's not you, it doesn't have to be like
at the beginning, you're going to have to be spreadsheet girl.
You have to be at the beginning. But once you
master or not master, but like once you get control
of yourself that sounds horrible. Once you feel in control
(44:59):
and you are aware you want to be, then you
don't have to be spreadsheet girl anymore if you don't
want to be. So that's not me and I don't
do it. But when I feel anxiety about being broke,
that's when I head back in and I make the
(45:19):
plan and I see what the spending is telling me.
And most of the time the feeling of being broke
is a feeling and not a math. So that's me.
But yes, that is my biggest thing that I do
when I feel like I might be broke, which is
(45:42):
something that's happening right now. It's very it's a very
pertinent question right now. Thank you, Goldie. I guess I
can talk about that later.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Job Travis took is so amazing, and it back to
the spreadsheets, but it's what we talk about.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
It's what we shone into das. Yes, you get that
financial freedom and then you have the opportunity to leave
a toxic work environment for a much better work environment,
even though it is a pay cut.
Speaker 4 (46:17):
Yeah, and that is a.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Decision then we just recently.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
Made, and there's still emotions that go along with that.
So I think normalizing that is great doesn't mean then
that the decisions we make all feel so incredibly lovely
like sometimes it's the reality of it is there too.
I do like that though. I think sometimes there is
action we can put to our anxieties that helps to
(46:41):
alleviate it. You were able to identify here's where the
anxiety is coming from. Here's something that I can do
to take back power and control and hopefully it worked.
Speaker 4 (46:54):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
So for me, I am very similar. I definitely do
need to put action to it.
Speaker 4 (46:58):
If I am.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
Feeling broke, it will probably lead me to look at
the realities of it. I want to see it. I
want to know what the numbers are and I identify
maybe potentially the problem too, so that I could respond.
So in that process, one of the things that I
will do is try to identify the source of that
(47:19):
feeling of feeling broke. So is it a circumstance or
is it really just kind of my mindset what came
before this feeling of being broke, And that's going to
then inform what my response is going to be. So
if it's a circumstance, So here you go a vulnerable
(47:40):
example for me, I have felt felt broke. Now, I
have known the reality of not having a lot of money.
Now Eric and I combine do earn six figures, low
six figures, But there are times where I feel like
where I don't have a bunch. And some of that,
more recently is related to yes, I had an emergency savings,
(48:03):
but I realized very quickly that that didn't.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
Totally feel like enough for what we faced.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
So we got hit with an unexpected tax bill back
to back with some medical expenses and two at the
same time, really wiped out a good portion of our
emergency fund, which led me to feeling broke. We could
still cover our expenses, so there's still a lot of
gratitude there, but I think in that situation, it was
(48:31):
a circumstance that led me to feel that way. So
then making a plan for how do I build this
emergency fund back up, where can I cut in some
of my other discretionary spending so that I can feel
better about where this cushion is again, And then as
opposed to if it's just a mindset like I don't know,
(48:53):
I was just scrolling the internet and everybody's making it
look like everybody's super wealthy all of a sudden, and Okay,
it's just my mindset, then that my response to that
might just be that gratitude piece of Okay, but what
do I have and how can I create some separation
between me and like what's being sold to me?
Speaker 4 (49:13):
That might then be my response.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Yeah, I will share one last story from a listener
who sent me an email once and I will apologize
to this listener in advance because I don't think I
responded to it because it was such a it really
had me thinking this was a while ago, but I
(49:37):
think it's relevant for this particular topic. She was emailing
me very asking for help because her family was in
a lot of debt, but her like and she just
needed to know what to do, like to pay it off,
like where to start, and she said her daughter rides horses.
(49:59):
She's into a question in which, if you're unfamiliar, it
is a very expensive I mean, I'm unfamiliar. I know
it's expensive. It's just an expensive it's like the most
expensive support you could put your child in. And so
like I read it, and initially I was just like,
I can't answer this because you already know what the
(50:19):
answer is. You've got to stop with the horses. But
I thought about it, and it's easy for somebody on
the outside to judge somebody else that they don't know
who's behind a computer screen, who's genuinely asking for help
and genuinely is at a conflict, like she has built
(50:40):
up her She's had a pretty stable income. It had
to have been pretty good to get started with horses,
so making good money, but because of lifestyle inflation, and
whatever else is compounding like the first article, you know,
all the elements from the first article we talked about,
has gotten to this place where she nothing to show
(51:01):
for it, and not even that has probably negative to
show for it because she's trying to pay off debt
and realizing, like she's put her child in one of
the most expensive sports there is and at this like
dilemma of like I can't deprive my child of what
I've already given her, and I don't know where to
go from here to make it better, And like that
(51:24):
just filled me with so much despair, like I and
I did not I didn't respond to the email, like
it just it caught me for so long and then
I just forgot and I don't know, years later, I
thought about it. But I don't want that struggle for
any of you listening, And like maybe it's not horses,
(51:44):
it's whatever, but I don't want that internal struggle for
you that you have put your children and your family
into this position to where in order to bring your
family up, you'd have to take away something from somebody else.
And sometimes that's going to have to be what it is.
(52:07):
But if it doesn't have to be, think about the
things we've talked about today and don't let it get
to that place.
Speaker 3 (52:13):
Yeah, well that is weighty, because you know, we don't
want deprivation for anybody, not deprivation for deprivation's sake. Sometimes
there are sacrifices that need to be made depending on
our financial situation. But you're right, you're identifying, like choosing
deprivation for somebody else that we love, that's a really,
(52:36):
really rough place to be. Yeah, and maybe there's some
other maneuvers that could happen in those circumstances. And I
think the ultimate goal would be the why of how
do we then get get back to this place? How
could we make some changes where this could be something
that is affordable for us?
Speaker 7 (52:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (52:59):
Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. I hope
that this was encouraging to you. If it was, we
would love for you to leave a rating and review
on Apple Podcasts like this one from Zia Amazon that says,
great hosts and great discussions. I enjoy listening to the hosts.
Their conversations are very fun to listen to, and they
(53:22):
share very fun and practical tips that I can use.
Their conversations with the guests are very insightful and I
get a lot of perspective when it comes to financial insights.
So thank you, Ziah. And if you didn't like it,
leave us a rating and review on good Reads. No,
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
Thanks everyone for listening. You can leave us a rating
and review. We of course love the ones who are
really enjoying this to help others who might enjoy it
find us, and you can do that where if you're
listening to podcasts, and also sign up for our newsletter
because that's another great way to get even more tips.
Speaker 4 (54:03):
Beyond what we talk about.
Speaker 3 (54:04):
This podcast Google friendspodcast dot com, slash friend letter.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
See you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3 (54:24):
Oh yeah, this one such a tough one mindset expectations.
It did have me thinking about expectations a lot, like
what do I think I'm going to get out of
this life?
Speaker 6 (54:39):
What did I deep? For an after show? I'm sorry,
you've done. I know you can't do that right now. Okay,
I'm sorry. What's for dinner? What are you expecting to
eat later? I don't even know anymore. I don't know
(55:02):
what I want from this life for dinner. I think
I have steak thawing.
Speaker 4 (55:11):
Whoa, I know, right, I.
Speaker 1 (55:15):
Get the big thing of steak that's like twenty bucks,
so I can have it twice. Nice save on steak.
Speaker 4 (55:26):
Don't beef it up out
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