June 27, 2024 • 28 mins
The guys score a general meeting at Hollywood’s most unexpected new studio.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to Get It to Dutch, A screenwriter's Journey. I'm
Mark and Brendan and we're missing Greg. Or put another way,
Greg is missing, but.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We'll get into that. We are well.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We were a team of Hollywood screenwriters who meet every
week to read from an original screenplay that one of
us has written. We give notes and rank the scripts,
and at the end of the season we were going
to pitch the best script to the now deceased Dutch Huxley,
and then we were hopefully going to pitch to his son, Duck.
But as fate would have it, Duck is also missing,
(00:37):
probably also with Greg's right, and Duck is gone. We
know that for sure. It's all over deadline.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Here is the deadline headline, Duck Duck loose Hollywood featherweight
Huxley flies the coop.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
That's not fair to call him a featherweight, isn't I mean?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I think that's a duck play on duck.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Got it?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Ducks have feathers.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
A clever duck reference, Well, here's one from Variety Duck
Quacks under pressure huckster Huxley hides from hot lights of Hollywood,
so they're assuming he's alive, which I guess is a
good sign.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
No mention of Greg and any of the articles, but
we are assuming that they're together.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
And we pitched a tip about Greg being with Duck
to Deadline, but they passed. They did say that they
were big fans.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Though, Oh that is nice to hear.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah, I think it was an auto reply.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
We're pretty sure that Greg's alive because he keeps dick
downing Duck butt picks.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
If that didn't make sense, his dick is dialing butt
picks of Duck. We think, yes, it must be Duck
because somebody's Yeah, it's not Greg's long butt crack. But
he's also I don't know. He thought he was so
clever he trained himself to open his phone with his
own dick.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Well, he said it was in case of a hostage situation.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
So well, it might be a hosted situation. Whatever the case,
none of this is good.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I don't know about that. I think they're out there
passing out our first look deal. I mean yeah, I
think numbers on the pig.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Maybe. I think Greg is out there trying to cut
us out of the deal all together.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Now, Mark, he wouldn't do that to you. You guys are roommates.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
We're not roommates. He's staying on my couch.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Not anymore though, Right, you got the place back, so
there's some good news here too.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Kind of, I sort of have the place back. But
now chris Pine is here.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
What the chris Pine?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, that's the dog that Greg brought in to save
his place, chris Pine. High.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's a mastiff.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
If you don't know what that is, it's a fucking
huge dog that slabbers all over the place.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Of course you're a big don't pet him. He slabbers.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
O chris Pine slabbered on.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Me, ate all my pretzels.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Oh yeah, look.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
He's bringing me some.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh it is like Greg's here. What a good dog,
Thank you, Chris.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
He's a fine dog. And he barks at me when
I get up to pee at night.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
You're a very fine dog.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
And then he peas on the couch. I have to
pee on a plant in my room. Did you know
that that plant is the last thing my wife gave
me before she jumped off a cruise ship.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
You mean that bucket of dirt that's next to your bed,
that's the plant your wife gave you.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I died a couple of years ago.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Wow. Kind of like your wife.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, we don't know that's true. Okay, we're not one
hundred percent sure on that.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Right, hold out hope. Well, until we hear from Greg,
we must soldier.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
On that's true, because Greg has left us high and dry.
And this was Greg's week to write a script. We
were all set to hear his Star Wars script, which
was just a craven attempt to cash in on the
woke movement. He called it R two.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
But now we won't even have the satisfaction of trashing
that to his face.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
You know, we could just play the tape.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, well yeah, What what Brendan is talking about is
last week we all went on a general meeting and
we recorded it. But I don't think it puts us
in the best light. So alternatively, we could fill the
time with, you know, our witty banter.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Just play the tape.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
It's there.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Come on, man, don't you have a you know, thoughts
on the news of the day. But you can't shrug?
No one can hear you shrug. I mean, come on,
talk about sports or politics or movies?
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Oh god, else we do this, talk about movies. I'm
sick of movies.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
No really?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Ah fuck?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
It.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
We'll just play the tape. My apologies to all of
our listeners. Here's a recording of our general meeting. And
if you don't like it, blame Brendan and Gregg because
I certainly don't stand behind the decision to air it.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So here you go.
Speaker 6 (04:30):
Okay, get out of the way.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Man, All right, let us set the scene for you.
We're in Gregg's least slingshot. That's right, and I feel
like I'm in Batman. I would try to describe it, but.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Just tc three wheels, tons of fun go zero to
sixty in about five seconds.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Brendan is riding on the fuselage.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I really feel like you guys should duct take me
down or something. I need a belt.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
This has gotta be a lead.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
It's a short trip, so we're currently coasting down beautiful
Santa Monica boulevard.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I'm boiling. How come you guys aren't wearing suits. You're
wearing like T shirts and stuff.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
I don't ever wear a suit to a general meeting.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Man. We're on our way to Tyson Studios.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yes, for a general meeting.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Set the scene for us, Greg, what are we getting into?
Speaker 6 (05:13):
We have a general meeting? Mark is very fun. And
this is with an old contact of mine. And she
used to work at all the big studios, Universal, Paramount Warners.
She used to be the head of European distribution for
Touchstone Wow Amazing, good machine, best ground focused features for
a while.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
And where is she now.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
She is at Tyson Studios, Mike Tyson, Tyson Brand, Tyson Brands, Studios,
Global Brands.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So that the Chicken place, well, it's not just chicken.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
They do a ton of stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But it's chicken.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
And they're doing movies.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
They're doing movies, TV, film, video games, they're doing virtual reality,
augmented reality, they're doing it all.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Man, that's cool. You didn't say it the Chicken place.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Don't just always it doesn't have to be the Chicken place.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It just doesn't seem like a very good opportunity if
it's If it's chicken forward.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
Guys, look at Netflix fifteen years ago, they're sending DVDs
through the mail, and now look at them. They took
down Blockbuster, they took down movie theaters, they took down TV,
they put every middle class actor out of work. They're
the ruthless bastards of Hollywood. So we need to hitch
our wagons to a warlord on the rise, just to
protect ourselves. Let us be child soldiers to the Chicken Empire.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
It's so true. You know the Netflix day rate now
is that you owe them money. I'm I'm all in
on this thing.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think this ticket.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, I think the Chicken studio is gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
This is great.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's all sounds good to me. So who is your content?
Speaker 6 (06:39):
My contact is shy La Hay Shane And yeah, shy
La Hay.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Is it Shaye Shay?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
This is Sila.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I actually should have gotten on LinkedIn. I don't know
her emails all one word, so let's just call her say.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
This is a whole caller by her full name.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah, why not Shayla Hay the whole time?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
So yeah, me write that. Ah fuck my pen. All right,
tell us what a general meeting is?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Okay. General meetings are how people in this business spend
most of their time. You're meeting with execs. You're a
meeting with producers, writers, directors, heads of studios. It's it's
you know, this is this is the lifeblood of Hollywood,
the general meeting.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Do we get lunch?
Speaker 6 (07:19):
No, that only happens if you set lunch.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh, do we get drinks?
Speaker 6 (07:23):
No, that's drinks.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Is drinks better than drinks.
Speaker 6 (07:26):
Is better than lunch, and lunch is better than a
general Oh.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
So our goal is to get invited to drinks.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
Then our goal, Brendan, is to make some fans. And
remember we're going in there. We're just catching a vibe.
We're not pitching. You're just making fans. Yeah, we just
wanted to develop something in the future.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It's exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I'm a little nervous.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
Just be yourself, guys, to be fine.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Do you guys want to plan out some bits?
Speaker 6 (07:52):
No, just be yourself. This is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I brought these Dracula teeth.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I was reading on the Hollywood Heartbeat blog that you
should it would be the best version of yourself in general.
So I brought three anecdotes that make me look funny,
charming and handsome.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Oh god, I don't have any anecdotes, Mark, Can I
borrow one of your anecdotes?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Just, you know, do your own and just make one up,
doesn't matter, you can do that.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Honestly, Brendon, ninety percent of this town is just riding
on me.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
A bullshit anyway, okay, I will say I'm the cowboy.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh, I'm gonna be an astronaut, not like not like that.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
This isn't pretend time. If anyone's an astronaut, I'm an astronaut,
so that's fine.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I'll be a firefighter.
Speaker 6 (08:31):
Oh, here we are. Let's drive right under the golden drumsticks.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Shit, they got a la oh.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
No, and we will see you inside.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
Mark, give me some cash.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Well, here we are studios.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Please God, let me be the first to say, holy
fucking sh.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
I mean, this is what the top looks like.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
This is it? We're all on one couch.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
This is a little awkward. It's cushy, is it?
Speaker 6 (09:12):
I don't know? Is this a love seat? I never
really know what kind of sitting on.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
One of my balls because I'm really much in here.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I'm sitting on one of your balls?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
How fuck is that you? Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Sorry, here's okay, all right?
Speaker 6 (09:24):
What is wrong with your hair? What's wrong with your hair?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Your hair is my hair?
Speaker 6 (09:29):
Your hair is really flat and your hair is really big.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You're sitting on the hood of your fucking batman car.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
How is your hair nice?
Speaker 6 (09:36):
I put a product in it?
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Give me product.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
I need product, product, product, product.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I can't be the best version of myself if I
look like this.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
Okay, yeah, just take no, just take a little bit
of God. Oh, it's a lot, it's a wet past and.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
I'm just gonna rub it, rub it into my skin
like a little locean in my eye.
Speaker 6 (09:59):
You both look like you've just been birthed. I look
like Gordon Gecko with two weird Gordon geckos.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Here, listen to my best version of myself.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Voice, Hi, how are you really very high?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Is?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
It feels so faked?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
But I sound happy?
Speaker 6 (10:16):
That sounds condescending and happy at the same time.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Fuck you guys, don't like the best version of myself?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Oh christ I sweated through the butt of my pants.
Speaker 6 (10:25):
Oh dude, that stand up. Don't sit on this nice
love seat. Oh my gosh, I'm just gonna tie my
seat jacket around.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Don't tie your suit jacket like you sat in a pond. Dude.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I don't want people to see my wet butt.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
No one wants to see her wet butt.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Okay, well, what am I supposed to do?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Then?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Am I supposed to just walk in there with wet butt?
Or just never turn around?
Speaker 6 (10:44):
Find just how you butt in the lobby man yelling
what but I'm whispering. I'm whispering. Why are you sweating
so much? Fucking hot?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I need a water? No?
Speaker 6 (10:54):
No, never take water at a general meeting. Why what?
It's a power move. It shows that we don't need
anything from them. They need everything from us.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
What about this chicken?
Speaker 6 (11:05):
No, do not take the chicken.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It looks like a display bowl of chicken.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Hi, hi, hi, hi guys. Oh yeah, hi, Yes, I'm
shaye hid.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Oh, hey, shaya.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
We were shared it might be hey maybe when I
was in college. Sorry, I have to greet you myself.
I don't have an assistant. My last one me tooed me.
Oh you know how that goes. I'm not a sex pass.
Just insanely violence. Okay, can I get you something? You
(11:54):
want some water or coffee? Chicken?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Check?
Speaker 6 (11:58):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
No, I guess so hot outside.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
You don't want chicken?
Speaker 6 (12:03):
I think we're fine. I think we're fine.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Probably best if we don't I mean.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Want a hot broth? No, well, you guys are the
first ones to ever turn down the chickens. Strike one.
Oh that I put in your loader. Three idiots, come
on in, let's do this. Let's go all right, come
on into my office.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
What a beautiful place. I just want to say, the
is gorgeous.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
That's actually a faux Andy Warhol chicken. Oh it's not
from Andy obviously.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah, the six panels dead, he is dad died.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
And then I saw the Andy Coffman chicken as we
walked into.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
That's a specialty puppet. I love, Yes, I love Kaufman.
Hate Jim Carrey. Oh okay, love Andy.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Have you ever worked with Jim?
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Not at all? No? No carry okay and no carry mulligan.
Those are the two carries I don't funk with.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
We don't like them either.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, that's right, thank you.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Well, all right, I removed my strike and turn it
into a hit to first base?
Speaker 6 (13:12):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Did it go past first?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
The first time you have been stopped at first?
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Good, and you're not you're not round in the bases yet,
but you are on a.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Base, all right. I can't wait to get to second base.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Well let's see. Maybe maybe maybe i'll slap your tickling
you put you on second? All right? Well guess what, chicken,
But why don't you tell me a little bit about y'all?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (13:35):
Yeah, yeah, Well we are three writers we're writing team
that also has excellent stuff that we've been doing on.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Really good stuff. I just recently tested on a network
TV show.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
You didn't introduce yourself?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Hun, Oh, I'm a Brendan.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm the cute one.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
No, my two eyes tell me different. That's this little.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, Greg's the cute one.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay, yes, Greg, Well i'm very shy one.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Oh that's sweet.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, I'm Runnon. I recently tested on a network pilot.
So some folks that ABC are big fans of Fine, great,
how about you?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
My name is Mark, and yeah, I think I'm just
excited to be here. I love movies, and thanks again
for letting us record this for the podcast.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Oh, no worries, No worries. I don't mind hearing the
sound of my own voice.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Golden very Oh and I'm Greg. I'm the leader of
the group mentally, and we're just so excited to be
here and tell you what we've been working on.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Yeah, well tell me well for even before we get
into what you're bringing, I gotta get a ye for
what you're watching.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I'm just watching mad Men again. I kind of got
this thing about TV ever since Heroes that if I
get invested in something, it ends up sucking. I'm so upset,
so I just go What's I know is good and completed?
And I guess the last good thing that was completed
was man Men.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
I mean I've been watching a ton of the Tyson stuff.
I'm a Tyson Plus member, yes, Tyson Plus, Yes. So
I've been watching Legs and Thighs, A great show, all about.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Got Vanessa Williams. What were the.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
Chances I've been watching Chicken around the clock?
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Thank you?
Speaker 6 (15:22):
It was also very, very fun. I love the drama.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Have you caught any episodes of Chicken at midnight? That's
my little pet ratchet. Oh no, no, it's all stand
up's doing five minutes each on Chicken. Okay, but lots
of cussing, okay, lots of dirty Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
You like a dirty huh?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Really working Greg's legs and thighs with your hands there.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
I just loved to be from the Midwest. We are touchy.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
You're in touchy people.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I spent ten years in Chicago. I don't remember anybody
touching me.
Speaker 6 (15:57):
But you spend ten years in Chicago? Was that before
your wife?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Three in County?
Speaker 6 (16:03):
Oh? This is a classic Mark. He's Enigmaigma wrapped in
a puzzle.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
All right, Well that's good.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I've been watching stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Oh tell me everything.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
No, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
You're going to go on.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
He's going to bog you down with what the art of.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Know you've seen the Chicken chronicles.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Do you know that's a funny thing that's sort of
out there is a thing that is a thing.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Yeah, that was one. Now that was just off a
general meeting, just like this.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Oh holy okay, so you can think, I mean.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
You really can. Why are you touching my knee? I
just want to I said, I touch you. Phey, if
you're not from the Midwest, get your filthy pods off list.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Sorry, man, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Well I should give you guys our spiel. You know
the great thing about us, we don't have a mandate.
Our mandate is no mandate.
Speaker 6 (16:57):
Cool that I saw that over the door. Yeah, that's
a heat creative, creative, free, creative freedom, can do anything
you want.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
That's the freedom with just a few little rules.
Speaker 6 (17:05):
This fellow hair has no woman beats. You need a
sandbox to play Brendan.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I don't want to play Matchmaker, but maybe there's a.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Sparkle here a little chemistry.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
You remind me too much of my second husband.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Oh he was a ginger.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Oh not gingers.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Huh, No mandate, But we do have a set of
ironclad rules hand. Oh, here they come rus sandbox.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Well, this is what we need in any script we produce,
and you can put it in any old way you want. Okay, okay,
you can. This is where I love to meet with
the creatives. All right, we do need somebody eating chicken,
even if they didn't have to refer to it at all.
It just happens to be on a plate. They take
(18:10):
a bite, it's a wing, it's drilled. They're grilling. Maybe great,
how about that? How about even just touch chicken?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
And every scene of every scene.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
I think, every scene. Yeah, that's kind of our deal.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Sure, and I don't mean to push back at all.
Let's say we're doing a movie like the Fuck, like
Reservoir Dogs. Yeah, every single scene someone has to be
eating chicken.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Well, they're at the diner, they're eating chicken. That's great,
They're heading into what about the jewelry store, they're chewing chicken.
They throw it. Yes, this is what you should be doing.
But I'll tell you how in reservoir dogs. Every scene
he's cutting off his ear while he's got a bone
of chicken hanging out of his mouth, it actually entices
the dramas.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Sorry, I didn't I didn't mean to. I didn't mean
to upset you.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I just sometimes it's hard for me to to picture how.
Speaker 6 (19:01):
That would work. And I think we could definitely.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, I think we could too.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I just want to state for the record, absolutely we
could put chicken someone eating chicken in it.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
That's it. That's how hard. There's a few other little ones.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Hey, I just want to say, just because Mark's face
and his voice and his smile sound awful.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
His lip is quivering, I'm cold.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Well, there you have it, cold chicken. They could be
in a meat locker. Do you stand? You do the work.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Just put the chicken in there.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Ye, put the chicken.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
That's easy enough, that's an easy face.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
We're in the Yeah, it's a great rule.
Speaker 6 (19:36):
Great chicken.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Can't name the chicken, you can't personify the chicken. And
if you're working with an actual chicken, it has to
be either you know, ill tempered or miserly. It has
an attitude, and the chicken can't have family, you can't
have friends. I'm talking solo chicken. Put it in different places,
whatever you want, but it's a chicken. Now. The chicken's
goal is it has to be eaten.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Mmm.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
So there's an obstacle, right. The obstacle is what about
the people that don't eat chicken? That's where your drama
can come in.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Sense.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
One scene has to be about how the election was stolen.
The whole thing has to be live action, and you
could direct it if you will get directed. Wow, you
can direct, you directed, You can direct it, write it,
and your names have to be on it in the credits. Okay, yeah,
sounds easy, right.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Why wouldn't Okay, I think this sounds great. I want
to preface by saying this sounds super cool. Yeah, what
was like three back there was one that kind of.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
One scene has to be about how the election was stolen.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Yeah, okay, coming out may maybe work with that.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Okay, that's and can we take the.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Chicken could be part of a militia? Why am I
doing your job?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
You don't have Sometimes.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
It has the chicken is at a meeting and they
have dartboard with a picture of a lazyge out and
the chicken is at the meeting.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
We can't.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
We can't personify the chicken though. The chicken is just
sort of there as a chicken would be correct. So
like the militia members, militia.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Is on the farm. You've got your low key one
of you should be writing this down if you want.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
To write down down by a co creator on this
we are recording.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And so you said that we can direct it.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
You can direct it, and you have to put your
names on it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Why wouldn't we want to put our names on it.
Of course we'd put our names on it.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Well, you should see the script.
Speaker 6 (21:35):
Oh, there's a script.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
There is a script.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Yeah, they're just my musings. But yeah, here you go.
Take our names on the script.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
It's a full script.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Put your full names in. Oh, I found out all
your your middle names to throw that. Yeah, and my
social Yeah, I got yourself.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Well let's crack this bad boy open and see what
we wrote.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
Okay, page says the patriots who toward the Capitol on
January sixth or goddamn heroes.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Wow, this is that's the first line.
Speaker 6 (22:00):
Who actually wrote this?
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Well, it was our CEO Campbell bucking him. This is
his first scrap.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Okay, so why does he want our names on it?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Well, we need someone to take the We need someone
to take the heat. Okay, in case it goes sideways
in the liberal media.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Oh okay, gotcha?
Speaker 4 (22:19):
All right? Is that too blunt for you know?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
That makes it? Is this like a rough draft? We
can kind of make some changes to it. No, this
is it?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
This is it with Maybe you can move some locations.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Maybe like the Capitol.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
No that has to stay to say. Maybe you know
you mentioned reservoir dogs. Maybe they're all at a diner
near the capitol.
Speaker 6 (22:38):
You know what, this is great? Maybe we'll just circle back.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, give us a people, take a sect to think
about it.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Hey, take sixty seconds. I gotta go make some chicken.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (22:49):
I got my chicken salad. I'm gonna put it on bread.
Do you need me to dry up, mad buddy?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Oh no?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Please? All right?
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Good?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
So, yeah, I guess we'll just come back or call you.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
I sit here for sixty seconds. My refrigerators right over here.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Oh you meant that seriously? Sixty second?
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yeah, sit think, pander. I'll talk while you're thinking. Guys,
this is an exploding offer. Okay, you have one minute,
not starting yet but soon one minute to decide or
it's off the table. I'm starting my clock now I'm
heading over to my fridge.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Okay, there she goes. I think, what's an exploding offer?
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Is that real?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Sixteen seconds? So we have to we have to pass right?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Actually, can't pass? No pass?
Speaker 7 (23:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Is this part of the sixty?
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Now I'm halting it. But guess what you just hit
a foul ball? Okay, so that means foul ball for
you for starting to clack.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Now, oh my god, fuck it, it's a.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Co picture exploding off. We're taking so many questions, our
names are on it.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Can't do this.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
We have to tell you can't take it.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
It's about the election.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
Being Let's let's just see if we can punt and
not take it, but not not take it.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
It's exploding offer, Greg, It's gonna fucking burst in front
of us.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Okay, what's the word get into business? Gather?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
We're gonna soft. It's a soft top pass. The're such
big fans. It's a yes, big soft yes in our minds,
but in our hearts.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Let me ask you a question. Did you take the
chicken in the lobby? Because if you took you didn't. No,
goddamn If you had taken the chicken in the lobby,
then you took the deal.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
That's legally bindings.
Speaker 6 (24:28):
I told you we took no lobby chicken or Franklin Brendan,
I took the chicken.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
What.
Speaker 8 (24:37):
You can't put me in front of a ball of
dino nuggets and not expect me to try it.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Okay, I've had regular chicken nuggets.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I wanted to see what these one stays.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
It like.
Speaker 6 (24:48):
What it was? It was just chicken in the shape
of a dinosaur. It's not dinosaur meat.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'm still confused how that's legally binding. The fact that
he had a chicken that was offered on the table.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
False fucking advertising, a fucking idiot.
Speaker 8 (25:00):
Oh how about that we say no, and if you
don't let us out of this goddamn deal, I take
it to the world that your dino nuggets are actually chicken.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
Me.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
You can tell him, Brendan, But who are they gonna believe?
A fucking nobody? Who are Tyson Chicken Studios.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
She's terrible. Looks like we're bent over a barrel here, boys.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Look at the bride said, you don't actually have to
do anything we'll take it from here.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Yeah, you know that's a plus.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Yeah, well, thank you, thank you, thank you for coming in.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Great to do business with you.
Speaker 6 (25:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
You know, in the initial meet and greet, I forgot
to ask. There is one other project. I'm gonna call
it my pet project. I'm super interested in it, Okay,
funding it with my own money, which is a lot.
Do y'all have one of them flip flop pictures? A
flip flap nerd becomes cool like Disney's Opposite Day. You
got one of those?
Speaker 6 (26:00):
You heard him out? Well we did, We don't. We
don't needmore, all right, Well we had one on the line,
but would.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
That one have to have chicken and everything?
Speaker 4 (26:10):
All right, thanks for coming in and thanks for taking
on the projects make America great again. Yeah, let me know,
DM me Greg I will Yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Excuse me, goodbye, ma'am.
Speaker 7 (26:27):
Miss you want us to close the door?
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Leave it open. I'd like to watch Greg walk away.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
You guys hear how she said? Miss at the end,
I think she was hitting on me.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Oh boy, so we're doing the picture?
Speaker 6 (26:43):
I guess so, don't We're not?
Speaker 3 (26:46):
She said?
Speaker 6 (26:46):
We had we should just at least think about it.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
So that was it our first general meeting.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
And the good news is that we're attached to him
Major Motion Picture.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Are we attached? I need to figure out the legality
of whether or not eating a chicken nugget makes you
attached to something. That's a question for the bingo man,
our lawyer. But if we are attached, then the bad
news is we might have to change our names to
ever work in Hollywood again.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
And also Greg is still missing.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah, which I don't know if that's good or bad
for him. Of course, if we change our names, you
already have a leg up with Boebe Starland's.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Boebe Starland's name is clean. And we just got to
find something cool for you.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Mac fob man, mac fib Fob, Macfob, I'll be mac fob.
That's kind of fun, yeah, mac fob, Yeah, kind of
rolls off the tongue a mac fob. I'll be a British,
British tough guy. British tough guy.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Mac fob.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Okay, Greg Greg can well, we'll let him change his
name if he turns up alive.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Greg might be a corpse.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Which means he may be the lucky one, well until
next time. It's lights, camera action but for writing.
Welcome to Get It to Dutch, A screenwriter's Journey. I'm
Mark and Brendan and we're missing Greg. Or put another way,
Greg is missing, but.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
We'll get into that. We are well.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We were a team of Hollywood screenwriters who meet every
week to read from an original screenplay that one of
us has written. We give notes and rank the scripts,
and at the end of the season we were going
to pitch the best script to the now deceased Dutch Huxley,
and then we were hopefully going to pitch to his son, Duck.
But as fate would have it, Duck is also missing,
(00:37):
probably also with Greg's right, and Duck is gone. We
know that for sure. It's all over deadline.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Here is the deadline headline, Duck Duck loose Hollywood featherweight
Huxley flies the coop.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
That's not fair to call him a featherweight, isn't I mean?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
I think that's a duck play on duck.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Got it?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Ducks have feathers.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
A clever duck reference, Well, here's one from Variety Duck
Quacks under pressure huckster Huxley hides from hot lights of Hollywood,
so they're assuming he's alive, which I guess is a
good sign.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
No mention of Greg and any of the articles, but
we are assuming that they're together.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
And we pitched a tip about Greg being with Duck
to Deadline, but they passed. They did say that they
were big fans.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Though, Oh that is nice to hear.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah, I think it was an auto reply.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
We're pretty sure that Greg's alive because he keeps dick
downing Duck butt picks.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
If that didn't make sense, his dick is dialing butt
picks of Duck. We think, yes, it must be Duck
because somebody's Yeah, it's not Greg's long butt crack. But
he's also I don't know. He thought he was so
clever he trained himself to open his phone with his
own dick.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Well, he said it was in case of a hostage situation.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
So well, it might be a hosted situation. Whatever the case,
none of this is good.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I don't know about that. I think they're out there
passing out our first look deal. I mean yeah, I
think numbers on the pig.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Maybe. I think Greg is out there trying to cut
us out of the deal all together.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Now, Mark, he wouldn't do that to you. You guys are roommates.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
We're not roommates. He's staying on my couch.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Not anymore though, Right, you got the place back, so
there's some good news here too.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Kind of, I sort of have the place back. But
now chris Pine is here.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
What the chris Pine?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
No, that's the dog that Greg brought in to save
his place, chris Pine. High.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
It's a mastiff.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
If you don't know what that is, it's a fucking
huge dog that slabbers all over the place.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Of course you're a big don't pet him. He slabbers.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
O chris Pine slabbered on.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Me, ate all my pretzels.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Oh yeah, look.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
He's bringing me some.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh it is like Greg's here. What a good dog,
Thank you, Chris.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
He's a fine dog. And he barks at me when
I get up to pee at night.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
You're a very fine dog.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
And then he peas on the couch. I have to
pee on a plant in my room. Did you know
that that plant is the last thing my wife gave
me before she jumped off a cruise ship.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
You mean that bucket of dirt that's next to your bed,
that's the plant your wife gave you.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I died a couple of years ago.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Wow. Kind of like your wife.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, we don't know that's true. Okay, we're not one
hundred percent sure on that.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Right, hold out hope. Well, until we hear from Greg,
we must soldier.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
On that's true, because Greg has left us high and dry.
And this was Greg's week to write a script. We
were all set to hear his Star Wars script, which
was just a craven attempt to cash in on the
woke movement. He called it R two.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Me too.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
But now we won't even have the satisfaction of trashing
that to his face.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
You know, we could just play the tape.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, well yeah, What what Brendan is talking about is
last week we all went on a general meeting and
we recorded it. But I don't think it puts us
in the best light. So alternatively, we could fill the
time with, you know, our witty banter.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Just play the tape.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
It's there.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Come on, man, don't you have a you know, thoughts
on the news of the day. But you can't shrug?
No one can hear you shrug. I mean, come on,
talk about sports or politics or movies?
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Oh god, else we do this, talk about movies. I'm
sick of movies.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
No really?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Ah fuck?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
It.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
We'll just play the tape. My apologies to all of
our listeners. Here's a recording of our general meeting. And
if you don't like it, blame Brendan and Gregg because
I certainly don't stand behind the decision to air it.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So here you go.
Speaker 6 (04:30):
Okay, get out of the way.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Man, All right, let us set the scene for you.
We're in Gregg's least slingshot. That's right, and I feel
like I'm in Batman. I would try to describe it, but.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Just tc three wheels, tons of fun go zero to
sixty in about five seconds.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Brendan is riding on the fuselage.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I really feel like you guys should duct take me
down or something. I need a belt.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
This has gotta be a lead.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
It's a short trip, so we're currently coasting down beautiful
Santa Monica boulevard.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I'm boiling. How come you guys aren't wearing suits. You're
wearing like T shirts and stuff.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
I don't ever wear a suit to a general meeting.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Man. We're on our way to Tyson Studios.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yes, for a general meeting.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Set the scene for us, Greg, what are we getting into?
Speaker 6 (05:13):
We have a general meeting? Mark is very fun. And
this is with an old contact of mine. And she
used to work at all the big studios, Universal, Paramount Warners.
She used to be the head of European distribution for
Touchstone Wow Amazing, good machine, best ground focused features for
a while.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
And where is she now.
Speaker 6 (05:34):
She is at Tyson Studios, Mike Tyson, Tyson Brand, Tyson Brands, Studios,
Global Brands.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So that the Chicken place, well, it's not just chicken.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
They do a ton of stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But it's chicken.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
And they're doing movies.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
They're doing movies, TV, film, video games, they're doing virtual reality,
augmented reality, they're doing it all.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Man, that's cool. You didn't say it the Chicken place.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Don't just always it doesn't have to be the Chicken place.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It just doesn't seem like a very good opportunity if
it's If it's chicken forward.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
Guys, look at Netflix fifteen years ago, they're sending DVDs
through the mail, and now look at them. They took
down Blockbuster, they took down movie theaters, they took down TV,
they put every middle class actor out of work. They're
the ruthless bastards of Hollywood. So we need to hitch
our wagons to a warlord on the rise, just to
protect ourselves. Let us be child soldiers to the Chicken Empire.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
It's so true. You know the Netflix day rate now
is that you owe them money. I'm I'm all in
on this thing.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think this ticket.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Yeah, I think the Chicken studio is gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
This is great.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's all sounds good to me. So who is your content?
Speaker 6 (06:39):
My contact is shy La Hay Shane And yeah, shy
La Hay.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Is it Shaye Shay?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
This is Sila.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I actually should have gotten on LinkedIn. I don't know
her emails all one word, so let's just call her say.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
This is a whole caller by her full name.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah, why not Shayla Hay the whole time?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
So yeah, me write that. Ah fuck my pen. All right,
tell us what a general meeting is?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Okay. General meetings are how people in this business spend
most of their time. You're meeting with execs. You're a
meeting with producers, writers, directors, heads of studios. It's it's
you know, this is this is the lifeblood of Hollywood,
the general meeting.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Do we get lunch?
Speaker 6 (07:19):
No, that only happens if you set lunch.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh, do we get drinks?
Speaker 6 (07:23):
No, that's drinks.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Is drinks better than drinks.
Speaker 6 (07:26):
Is better than lunch, and lunch is better than a
general Oh.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
So our goal is to get invited to drinks.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
Then our goal, Brendan, is to make some fans. And
remember we're going in there. We're just catching a vibe.
We're not pitching. You're just making fans. Yeah, we just
wanted to develop something in the future.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It's exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I'm a little nervous.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
Just be yourself, guys, to be fine.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Do you guys want to plan out some bits?
Speaker 6 (07:52):
No, just be yourself. This is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I brought these Dracula teeth.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I was reading on the Hollywood Heartbeat blog that you
should it would be the best version of yourself in general.
So I brought three anecdotes that make me look funny,
charming and handsome.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Oh god, I don't have any anecdotes, Mark, Can I
borrow one of your anecdotes?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Just, you know, do your own and just make one up,
doesn't matter, you can do that.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Honestly, Brendon, ninety percent of this town is just riding
on me.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
A bullshit anyway, okay, I will say I'm the cowboy.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh, I'm gonna be an astronaut, not like not like that.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
This isn't pretend time. If anyone's an astronaut, I'm an astronaut,
so that's fine.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I'll be a firefighter.
Speaker 6 (08:31):
Oh, here we are. Let's drive right under the golden drumsticks.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Shit, they got a la oh.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
No, and we will see you inside.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
Mark, give me some cash.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Well, here we are studios.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Please God, let me be the first to say, holy
fucking sh.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
I mean, this is what the top looks like.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
This is it? We're all on one couch.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
This is a little awkward. It's cushy, is it?
Speaker 6 (09:12):
I don't know? Is this a love seat? I never
really know what kind of sitting on.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
One of my balls because I'm really much in here.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I'm sitting on one of your balls?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
How fuck is that you? Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Sorry, here's okay, all right?
Speaker 6 (09:24):
What is wrong with your hair? What's wrong with your hair?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Your hair is my hair?
Speaker 6 (09:29):
Your hair is really flat and your hair is really big.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You're sitting on the hood of your fucking batman car.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
How is your hair nice?
Speaker 6 (09:36):
I put a product in it?
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Give me product.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
I need product, product, product, product.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I can't be the best version of myself if I
look like this.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
Okay, yeah, just take no, just take a little bit
of God. Oh, it's a lot, it's a wet past and.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
I'm just gonna rub it, rub it into my skin
like a little locean in my eye.
Speaker 6 (09:59):
You both look like you've just been birthed. I look
like Gordon Gecko with two weird Gordon geckos.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Here, listen to my best version of myself.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Voice, Hi, how are you really very high?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Is?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
It feels so faked?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
But I sound happy?
Speaker 6 (10:16):
That sounds condescending and happy at the same time.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Fuck you guys, don't like the best version of myself?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Oh christ I sweated through the butt of my pants.
Speaker 6 (10:25):
Oh dude, that stand up. Don't sit on this nice
love seat. Oh my gosh, I'm just gonna tie my
seat jacket around.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Don't tie your suit jacket like you sat in a pond. Dude.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I don't want people to see my wet butt.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
No one wants to see her wet butt.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Okay, well, what am I supposed to do?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
Then?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Am I supposed to just walk in there with wet butt?
Or just never turn around?
Speaker 6 (10:44):
Find just how you butt in the lobby man yelling
what but I'm whispering. I'm whispering. Why are you sweating
so much? Fucking hot?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I need a water? No?
Speaker 6 (10:54):
No, never take water at a general meeting. Why what?
It's a power move. It shows that we don't need
anything from them. They need everything from us.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
What about this chicken?
Speaker 6 (11:05):
No, do not take the chicken.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It looks like a display bowl of chicken.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Hi, hi, hi, hi guys. Oh yeah, hi, Yes, I'm
shaye hid.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Oh, hey, shaya.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
We were shared it might be hey maybe when I
was in college. Sorry, I have to greet you myself.
I don't have an assistant. My last one me tooed me.
Oh you know how that goes. I'm not a sex pass.
Just insanely violence. Okay, can I get you something? You
(11:54):
want some water or coffee? Chicken?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Check?
Speaker 6 (11:58):
No?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
No, I guess so hot outside.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
You don't want chicken?
Speaker 6 (12:03):
I think we're fine. I think we're fine.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Probably best if we don't I mean.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Want a hot broth? No, well, you guys are the
first ones to ever turn down the chickens. Strike one.
Oh that I put in your loader. Three idiots, come
on in, let's do this. Let's go all right, come
on into my office.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
What a beautiful place. I just want to say, the
is gorgeous.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
That's actually a faux Andy Warhol chicken. Oh it's not
from Andy obviously.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah, the six panels dead, he is dad died.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
And then I saw the Andy Coffman chicken as we
walked into.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
That's a specialty puppet. I love, Yes, I love Kaufman.
Hate Jim Carrey. Oh okay, love Andy.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Have you ever worked with Jim?
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Not at all? No? No carry okay and no carry mulligan.
Those are the two carries I don't funk with.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
We don't like them either.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, that's right, thank you.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Well, all right, I removed my strike and turn it
into a hit to first base?
Speaker 6 (13:12):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Did it go past first?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
The first time you have been stopped at first?
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Good, and you're not you're not round in the bases yet,
but you are on a.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Base, all right. I can't wait to get to second base.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Well let's see. Maybe maybe maybe i'll slap your tickling
you put you on second? All right? Well guess what, chicken,
But why don't you tell me a little bit about y'all?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (13:35):
Yeah, yeah, Well we are three writers we're writing team
that also has excellent stuff that we've been doing on.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Really good stuff. I just recently tested on a network
TV show.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
You didn't introduce yourself?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Hun, Oh, I'm a Brendan.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm the cute one.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
No, my two eyes tell me different. That's this little.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, Greg's the cute one.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay, yes, Greg, Well i'm very shy one.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Oh that's sweet.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, I'm Runnon. I recently tested on a network pilot.
So some folks that ABC are big fans of Fine, great,
how about you?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
My name is Mark, and yeah, I think I'm just
excited to be here. I love movies, and thanks again
for letting us record this for the podcast.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Oh, no worries, No worries. I don't mind hearing the
sound of my own voice.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Golden very Oh and I'm Greg. I'm the leader of
the group mentally, and we're just so excited to be
here and tell you what we've been working on.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Yeah, well tell me well for even before we get
into what you're bringing, I gotta get a ye for
what you're watching.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I'm just watching mad Men again. I kind of got
this thing about TV ever since Heroes that if I
get invested in something, it ends up sucking. I'm so upset,
so I just go What's I know is good and completed?
And I guess the last good thing that was completed
was man Men.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
I mean I've been watching a ton of the Tyson stuff.
I'm a Tyson Plus member, yes, Tyson Plus, Yes. So
I've been watching Legs and Thighs, A great show, all about.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Got Vanessa Williams. What were the.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
Chances I've been watching Chicken around the clock?
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Thank you?
Speaker 6 (15:22):
It was also very, very fun. I love the drama.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Have you caught any episodes of Chicken at midnight? That's
my little pet ratchet. Oh no, no, it's all stand
up's doing five minutes each on Chicken. Okay, but lots
of cussing, okay, lots of dirty Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
You like a dirty huh?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Really working Greg's legs and thighs with your hands there.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
I just loved to be from the Midwest. We are touchy.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
You're in touchy people.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I spent ten years in Chicago. I don't remember anybody
touching me.
Speaker 6 (15:57):
But you spend ten years in Chicago? Was that before
your wife?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Three in County?
Speaker 6 (16:03):
Oh? This is a classic Mark. He's Enigmaigma wrapped in
a puzzle.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
All right, Well that's good.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I've been watching stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Oh tell me everything.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
No, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
You're going to go on.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
He's going to bog you down with what the art of.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Know you've seen the Chicken chronicles.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Do you know that's a funny thing that's sort of
out there is a thing that is a thing.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
Yeah, that was one. Now that was just off a
general meeting, just like this.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Oh holy okay, so you can think, I mean.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
You really can. Why are you touching my knee? I
just want to I said, I touch you. Phey, if
you're not from the Midwest, get your filthy pods off list.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Sorry, man, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Well I should give you guys our spiel. You know
the great thing about us, we don't have a mandate.
Our mandate is no mandate.
Speaker 6 (16:57):
Cool that I saw that over the door. Yeah, that's
a heat creative, creative, free, creative freedom, can do anything
you want.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
That's the freedom with just a few little rules.
Speaker 6 (17:05):
This fellow hair has no woman beats. You need a
sandbox to play Brendan.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I don't want to play Matchmaker, but maybe there's a.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Sparkle here a little chemistry.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
You remind me too much of my second husband.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Oh he was a ginger.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Oh not gingers.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Huh, No mandate, But we do have a set of
ironclad rules hand. Oh, here they come rus sandbox.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Well, this is what we need in any script we produce,
and you can put it in any old way you want. Okay, okay,
you can. This is where I love to meet with
the creatives. All right, we do need somebody eating chicken,
even if they didn't have to refer to it at all.
It just happens to be on a plate. They take
(18:10):
a bite, it's a wing, it's drilled. They're grilling. Maybe great,
how about that? How about even just touch chicken?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
And every scene of every scene.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
I think, every scene. Yeah, that's kind of our deal.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Sure, and I don't mean to push back at all.
Let's say we're doing a movie like the Fuck, like
Reservoir Dogs. Yeah, every single scene someone has to be
eating chicken.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Well, they're at the diner, they're eating chicken. That's great,
They're heading into what about the jewelry store, they're chewing chicken.
They throw it. Yes, this is what you should be doing.
But I'll tell you how in reservoir dogs. Every scene
he's cutting off his ear while he's got a bone
of chicken hanging out of his mouth, it actually entices
the dramas.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Sorry, I didn't I didn't mean to. I didn't mean
to upset you.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I just sometimes it's hard for me to to picture how.
Speaker 6 (19:01):
That would work. And I think we could definitely.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, I think we could too.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I just want to state for the record, absolutely we
could put chicken someone eating chicken in it.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
That's it. That's how hard. There's a few other little ones.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Hey, I just want to say, just because Mark's face
and his voice and his smile sound awful.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
His lip is quivering, I'm cold.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Well, there you have it, cold chicken. They could be
in a meat locker. Do you stand? You do the work.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Just put the chicken in there.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Ye, put the chicken.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
That's easy enough, that's an easy face.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
We're in the Yeah, it's a great rule.
Speaker 6 (19:36):
Great chicken.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Can't name the chicken, you can't personify the chicken. And
if you're working with an actual chicken, it has to
be either you know, ill tempered or miserly. It has
an attitude, and the chicken can't have family, you can't
have friends. I'm talking solo chicken. Put it in different places,
whatever you want, but it's a chicken. Now. The chicken's
goal is it has to be eaten.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Mmm.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
So there's an obstacle, right. The obstacle is what about
the people that don't eat chicken? That's where your drama
can come in.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Sense.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
One scene has to be about how the election was stolen.
The whole thing has to be live action, and you
could direct it if you will get directed. Wow, you
can direct, you directed, You can direct it, write it,
and your names have to be on it in the credits. Okay, yeah,
sounds easy, right.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Why wouldn't Okay, I think this sounds great. I want
to preface by saying this sounds super cool. Yeah, what
was like three back there was one that kind of.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
One scene has to be about how the election was stolen.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Yeah, okay, coming out may maybe work with that.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Okay, that's and can we take the.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Chicken could be part of a militia? Why am I
doing your job?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
You don't have Sometimes.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
It has the chicken is at a meeting and they
have dartboard with a picture of a lazyge out and
the chicken is at the meeting.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
We can't.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
We can't personify the chicken though. The chicken is just
sort of there as a chicken would be correct. So
like the militia members, militia.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Is on the farm. You've got your low key one
of you should be writing this down if you want.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
To write down down by a co creator on this
we are recording.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And so you said that we can direct it.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
You can direct it, and you have to put your
names on it.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Why wouldn't we want to put our names on it.
Of course we'd put our names on it.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Well, you should see the script.
Speaker 6 (21:35):
Oh, there's a script.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
There is a script.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
Yeah, they're just my musings. But yeah, here you go.
Take our names on the script.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
It's a full script.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Put your full names in. Oh, I found out all
your your middle names to throw that. Yeah, and my
social Yeah, I got yourself.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Well let's crack this bad boy open and see what
we wrote.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
Okay, page says the patriots who toward the Capitol on
January sixth or goddamn heroes.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Wow, this is that's the first line.
Speaker 6 (22:00):
Who actually wrote this?
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Well, it was our CEO Campbell bucking him. This is
his first scrap.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Okay, so why does he want our names on it?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Well, we need someone to take the We need someone
to take the heat. Okay, in case it goes sideways
in the liberal media.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Oh okay, gotcha?
Speaker 4 (22:19):
All right? Is that too blunt for you know?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
That makes it? Is this like a rough draft? We
can kind of make some changes to it. No, this
is it?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
This is it with Maybe you can move some locations.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Maybe like the Capitol.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
No that has to stay to say. Maybe you know
you mentioned reservoir dogs. Maybe they're all at a diner
near the capitol.
Speaker 6 (22:38):
You know what, this is great? Maybe we'll just circle back.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, give us a people, take a sect to think
about it.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Hey, take sixty seconds. I gotta go make some chicken.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (22:49):
I got my chicken salad. I'm gonna put it on bread.
Do you need me to dry up, mad buddy?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Oh no?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Please? All right?
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Good?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
So, yeah, I guess we'll just come back or call you.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
I sit here for sixty seconds. My refrigerators right over here.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Oh you meant that seriously? Sixty second?
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yeah, sit think, pander. I'll talk while you're thinking. Guys,
this is an exploding offer. Okay, you have one minute,
not starting yet but soon one minute to decide or
it's off the table. I'm starting my clock now I'm
heading over to my fridge.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Okay, there she goes. I think, what's an exploding offer?
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Is that real?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Sixteen seconds? So we have to we have to pass right?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Actually, can't pass? No pass?
Speaker 7 (23:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Is this part of the sixty?
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Now I'm halting it. But guess what you just hit
a foul ball? Okay, so that means foul ball for
you for starting to clack.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Now, oh my god, fuck it, it's a.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Co picture exploding off. We're taking so many questions, our
names are on it.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Can't do this.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
We have to tell you can't take it.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
It's about the election.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
Being Let's let's just see if we can punt and
not take it, but not not take it.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
It's exploding offer, Greg, It's gonna fucking burst in front
of us.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Okay, what's the word get into business? Gather?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
We're gonna soft. It's a soft top pass. The're such
big fans. It's a yes, big soft yes in our minds,
but in our hearts.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
Let me ask you a question. Did you take the
chicken in the lobby? Because if you took you didn't. No,
goddamn If you had taken the chicken in the lobby,
then you took the deal.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
That's legally bindings.
Speaker 6 (24:28):
I told you we took no lobby chicken or Franklin Brendan,
I took the chicken.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
What.
Speaker 8 (24:37):
You can't put me in front of a ball of
dino nuggets and not expect me to try it.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Okay, I've had regular chicken nuggets.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I wanted to see what these one stays.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
It like.
Speaker 6 (24:48):
What it was? It was just chicken in the shape
of a dinosaur. It's not dinosaur meat.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'm still confused how that's legally binding. The fact that
he had a chicken that was offered on the table.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
False fucking advertising, a fucking idiot.
Speaker 8 (25:00):
Oh how about that we say no, and if you
don't let us out of this goddamn deal, I take
it to the world that your dino nuggets are actually chicken.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
Me.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
You can tell him, Brendan, But who are they gonna believe?
A fucking nobody? Who are Tyson Chicken Studios.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
She's terrible. Looks like we're bent over a barrel here, boys.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Look at the bride said, you don't actually have to
do anything we'll take it from here.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Yeah, you know that's a plus.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Yeah, well, thank you, thank you, thank you for coming in.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Great to do business with you.
Speaker 6 (25:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
You know, in the initial meet and greet, I forgot
to ask. There is one other project. I'm gonna call
it my pet project. I'm super interested in it, Okay,
funding it with my own money, which is a lot.
Do y'all have one of them flip flop pictures? A
flip flap nerd becomes cool like Disney's Opposite Day. You
got one of those?
Speaker 6 (26:00):
You heard him out? Well we did, We don't. We
don't needmore, all right, Well we had one on the line,
but would.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
That one have to have chicken and everything?
Speaker 4 (26:10):
All right, thanks for coming in and thanks for taking
on the projects make America great again. Yeah, let me know,
DM me Greg I will Yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Excuse me, goodbye, ma'am.
Speaker 7 (26:27):
Miss you want us to close the door?
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Leave it open. I'd like to watch Greg walk away.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
You guys hear how she said? Miss at the end,
I think she was hitting on me.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Oh boy, so we're doing the picture?
Speaker 6 (26:43):
I guess so, don't We're not?
Speaker 3 (26:46):
She said?
Speaker 6 (26:46):
We had we should just at least think about it.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
So that was it our first general meeting.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
And the good news is that we're attached to him
Major Motion Picture.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Are we attached? I need to figure out the legality
of whether or not eating a chicken nugget makes you
attached to something. That's a question for the bingo man,
our lawyer. But if we are attached, then the bad
news is we might have to change our names to
ever work in Hollywood again.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
And also Greg is still missing.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah, which I don't know if that's good or bad
for him. Of course, if we change our names, you
already have a leg up with Boebe Starland's.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Boebe Starland's name is clean. And we just got to
find something cool for you.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Mac fob man, mac fib Fob, Macfob, I'll be mac fob.
That's kind of fun, yeah, mac fob, Yeah, kind of
rolls off the tongue a mac fob. I'll be a British,
British tough guy. British tough guy.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Mac fob.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Okay, Greg Greg can well, we'll let him change his
name if he turns up alive.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Greg might be a corpse.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Which means he may be the lucky one, well until
next time. It's lights, camera action but for writing.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com