October 21, 2021 • 50 mins
Today Jamie talks with her friend Ruth Pontvianne -- or as Jamie says, "Truth" Pontvianne. Ruthie is a healer and longtime friend who isn't afraid to be honest -- and that's a great thing. Find out why Jamie thinks Ruth should be the Czar of Mindfulness on this episode of Good Friend.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If there's something I'll get if I'm a good friend. Hi, everybody,
it's Jamie Lee Curtis and you're listening to the Good
Friend Podcast, presented to you by I Heart Radio. It's
a podcast about friendship. We talk about everything, We cry,
(00:24):
we laugh, we think about what it really means to
be a good friend. And I have conversations with some
of my best friends, some people I've never met, and
sort of everything in between. So I hope by the
end of it that you have a really good sense
(00:47):
of what friendship means to me and the people that
I consider friends. And I hope you can take those
same ideas into your own friendship groups, and I hope
you enjoy it. I don't know, idea and the love
of a good friend. I am so deeply happy to
(01:12):
welcome my friend ruth point Fion to the Good Friend Podcast.
Welcome Ruthie. I'm so happy to be here for you
and with everybody that is listening to us. Well. The
fact that you've already referred to everybody means that I
promise you now there will be everybody. I have only
referred to them as my one listener because I don't
(01:35):
want to get ahead of myself and have me think
that they're like a bunch of people listening. And so
I've I've just referred to them as my one listener.
And now you've already welcomed more people, so your job
is done. We could stop now. Um, Ruth is as
good a friend as I have ever known in my life.
(01:57):
And I'm going to tell you why. Ruth is a healer.
And in her healing she goes right to the heart
of the matter. It does not matter if you agree
or disagree. She will tell you like it is. And
(02:24):
it is the greatest gift of friend can give you,
is to tell you the truth. So I think we
should just rename you truth point fion and and have
you changed all your paperwork and you know, your birth
certificate and the rest, which is a bit of a
pain in the ass, but it would be worth it
(02:45):
because you are truth. You are truth, Ruth, You are truth?
Um have you always been that person? So I I
want to just say something that you know is I
think we all were born healers. It's just matters how
we practice in our daily life. And I've been practicing
(03:09):
since you know, Um, like I remember as five seven
years old, as seeing fairy tale you know, fairy tales
and following you know, the light and playing with it.
And then I took that practice, you know, my entire life.
It just because I was having fun. But as I
(03:35):
started realizing that it was my true call, I just
you know, start studying and the practicing, um to see
if it was rewording like having results that you would
fulfill uh my heart, and I just follow it, um
(04:02):
so to be truthful with that inner self, I start
realizing that when I was looking at people, I was
seeing them who they were and not how they were
acting upon and trying to be someone else, because to
be fair, we all try our best to be someone else.
(04:28):
And so when I start just taking that call, I
I I started seeing the results that I was helping people,
and it was so much fun, and I just took
that as my calling. I started studying, and um, I
(04:49):
love it, you know, from healing modalities, different ones like
uh you know, quantum touch, raiky name it, massage therapy,
all those ears watsu watsu. You know. I start being
trying to be as weird as I could because I
(05:10):
never really like to be conventional, like you know, the
normal person. I was never normal I guess I want to.
I want to go back to you're calling because to
to be a good friend. I've heard different people talk
(05:31):
about aspects of friendship that are important to them. Trust
has come up a lot um, a bit of clairvoyance, um,
a little bit of telepathy, people who say, my friend
knows something is wrong before I do, that sort of
inter connection that we have with people with our very dear,
(05:53):
good friends. But honesty re all. Honesty is something that
we want from our friends, but I think is lacking
in a lot of our close friendships because we have
(06:13):
gotten into the ruts of our friendships. We have entered
these sort of troughs where it's it's hard to really
stop somebody and go you know what. I don't like
this aspect. There's something happening here that I want to
bring into the relationship so that we can talk about it.
And you have always, since the beginning of our friendship,
(06:39):
been able two bring difficult subjects into the friendship. Is
that do you consider that part of your healing? Because
I feel it's healing even though it hurts. I think, um,
it's a good hurt. But I think it's more living
(07:03):
in a present, like I remember once you were asking
me you know what was God to me? And I
I told you that we were in front of this chair,
and I said, Jamie, you know God, this whatever is
in front of us, that I give myself a hundred
(07:25):
percent attention to that, you know, to that object or
to that person or so I think at the present
moment it's the most important thing. And I think because
I'm in a present I'm not thinking of you ahead
or in the past. I'm right there a hundred percent
with you, and I'm seeing you from within yourself and
(07:51):
not as you know, your body, your hair, your wrinkles,
your eyebrows, whatever, But I'm seeing from inside of yourself.
And I think with that coming as a practice, you
know how much more you practice that present momentum. I
think you know, it gets very clear. Um. That's why
(08:15):
I think from the beginning, from the start, I like,
for example, I don't have a TV for forty years,
and I have no idea who you are and represent
to the world. But I I always see you who
you were. It doesn't matter you know who you were
(08:37):
trying to be or trying to show yourself to the world.
I was seeing you as Jamie, as an essence, not
as anything else. So for me it was always very easy.
You know, you could go around and around and trying to,
you know, uh, show something else in the surface. But
(08:59):
it's kind of heart to hide. You can't. I will
tell you. Um, to our listeners, you've now multiplied them. UM,
our friends, the people listening, maybe women going on a
walk while somebody watches their kids. Um. When Ruth looks
(09:22):
at you, if you get the opportunity to look this
woman in the eye, you cannot hide. She will, she will,
she will pierce you. Um. It is a calling, It
is her gift, it is her reis on debt, it
is her mission, it is her my fashion. Actually, I
(09:51):
have a passion to see the people for who they
are and without judging, no agenda, you know, accepting the
acceptance for who you are, no matter what. Also, there's
that exchange that I learned not many years ago, as
I say sometimes to you, that healing comes with you know,
(10:16):
the momentum that you learn how to receive, not the
giving part of it giving. It's very easy. I want
to see you sitting there, open your arms unconditionally and
receive whatever is there you know, to come to you. Unconditionally.
But I get to say when I did that exercise
(10:39):
that I learned the healing comes more with the act
of receiving. UM. I was surprised. He took me like
three months to realize that are very little people out
there giving unconditionally. You know. They always come either with
agenda or for our formation. They're good enough for um,
(11:02):
you know, or whatever that might be the agenda. But
for you to just sit there and receive unconditionally, with
no agenda, you know, just with open arms, it's very frightened,
you know, because it's very little out there that is unconventionally.
There's always the trade, the exchange. I do this, you
(11:26):
can need that, or whatever there might be. We call
it transactional. You know, that's a transaction. And you make
me cry. I'm telling you it's such a pure attempt
and hope that you can receive something open that it isn't.
As you said, what you can do for me, what
(11:47):
I can do for you, How we can turn this
into a transaction and then somehow satisfies something within that transaction.
And it almost has nothing to do with us. It
has to do with a sternal forces that that are
not our essence and you you know, you work with
(12:08):
essential oils, which are the essence, which are the the
the distilled essence of a natural item that the oil
from that gives a healing and a power, and that
is what you want in a friendship. But I'm I
(12:31):
think I'm weeping because there's so many friendships that don't
feel that way. Yeah, I think, you know, I think
a pandemic every day. I don't fight against it because
I think the pandemic has said, you know, go home,
(12:53):
clean up your own you know, crap, and I will
take care of the planet, and you take of your
own you know, family, your friendship, you're you know, being
And I think people are struggling because they are so
instuent to you know, be out there and doing things
the doors. You know, I get accomplished. How about sit
(13:17):
there and do nothing. You would see that the nothing's
gonna multiply and start, you know, getting like start growing
into this beautiful world that you were not aware. It
was always there, but you were not aware because you
were always doing it. I remember once we were in
some valley, you and me and I started laughing and
(13:39):
I said to you, Jamie, have you noticed why we
always fight with each other with the little things. And
you said what And I said, well, are we fighting
to see who gives the most? You know, like, Okay,
let's just receive now received. Being receiving is seemingly easy
(14:04):
for some people and harder for others. Mm hmm, it's
hard for me. I'm much better. It's much much better
about receiving it. And you know, I think people listening
will relate. Um. And I don't want to say you
don't feel worthy of whatever it is that's being offered
(14:26):
to you, but I think that I think you touched
on it so much with the transactional aspect of friendship
that it doesn't feel safe. It's not if it's a business,
if it's a transaction, it's not safe. It's it's always
(14:47):
um tinged with some with some loss, and I that
scares me. And so it's harder for me to receive.
And I'm working on it. Um, I'm working on it.
(15:08):
I think you brought to the point that is a trust,
you know, because this world it was so much detouring, distorcing,
you know, of the energy of the present moment. We
always wear either ahead or behind that when you get
to that present moment and you like, you know, can
(15:29):
I trust this? You know, like you feel yourself either
speeding ahead or you know it's lagashing behind, and when
you get to that present moment, you go like, oh,
can I trust this? You know? Is that like it's
almost like an unfamiliar and when you start, you know,
(15:50):
getting to that familiar space, you're like, whoa, you know,
it feels good, but it feels unfamiliar because you're not
in the present moment. And I think what I witness
with you was always so brilliant because you always had
that in herself. There was so big and vast and
(16:14):
just so much to you know, share, but you were
always so ahead, you know, like either planning and you
know I always say I don't plan, I have visions
and then I transcend them. Because believe me, if you
look at your day, whatever you plan of your plan
(16:35):
doesn't happen, you know, But if you have that vision
that you have a fully intention of transcending and they
can happen, you can sit down and do nothing and
it's going to happen. So that's what I've been doing
with the pandemic. You know, like what can I do?
You know, be devastating and not be helpful. I want
(16:58):
to be helpful, So I think the best way to
be helpful with it's finding friends in just a matter
of a smiling What I love about you know, the
situation of a mask. It's because now we're making eye
contact finally, you know, finally for YouTube make to see
(17:23):
if it's someone understanding you. You just make an eye contact,
like even in a coffee shop. You know, at the beginning,
I was frustrated because you know, my accent or my
worthy wouldn't get through, and I'm like, what the hell?
And then I like, uh, hi, can I look in
your eyes? Because my English is not that good? Maybe
(17:47):
you will understand what I need in my coffee or something?
Oh sure, you know, be playful or something I always
try to put on myself. And so I can't improve,
you know, because people has this thing. It wasn't me,
you know, sure wasn't It's always me. You know something
(18:09):
I know I'll get it. If I'm a good friend.
We'll be right back with more good friend after this
quick break, So stick around, don't I know, I'll get it.
I'm a good friend. I don't know anything. I were
you this way when you were little. I want to
(18:31):
find out a little bit about how you were with
friends and making friends in your early life before you
came to America, because you're from Brazil, and so I
would like to ask you a little bit about your
early life there about friendship. My my family, we were
like six kids and each of us had friends that
(18:54):
each one had seven or eight brothers and sisters, so
we always had this huge amount of it was a
tribal you know work that we always had to you know,
rely on each other for some From my essence, you know,
I learned what friendship was from the beginning. We relying
(19:18):
in each other, We cover each other up no matter what,
you know, kept secrets. So the value of that friendship
was always so important. And my father and my mother
was very you know, they were very disciplinary, but yet
they would let us loose to live the truth of
(19:41):
our you know, essence. So that was good for us
that we could live our daily life with each one
have your best friend you know coming along. So it
was always like twelve of uh, I have twenty one
or twenty eight first cousins, So all our summer camp
(20:05):
was just you know, first cousins. And one of each
could have the best friend. So no matter what, we
were bonded to the t we would not give each
other up. And oh man, those one who pointed that
finger were being trouble and then to to day they
(20:29):
were they are my best friends. It's still you know,
so I know what is friends for that, you know,
for bad and good. We always there no matter what.
So again, I think we all were born healers. And
it depends how you practice your friendship from its beginning.
(20:52):
It's just you take on to this vast opportunity that
you would never feel alone. And you know, I never
got married, and I love relationships as a whole. I
don't like one oh one, I like one of want
to take mere wrong. But you know, I don't like
(21:12):
to belong to one person. I like to belong to
the whole that I think that's why I took on
to you know, do my living, you know, have my
living as a healer, because I love the practice of
being helpful to the world, not to just one person
(21:34):
or to you know, three kids or you know, I
didn't have kids, but I take care of many and
I love that, you know, uh, that feeling of belong
to the world, not to accompassed. You know, I have
a huge, vastly family friends, so that makes me feel
(22:00):
really good. I don't feel lonely. I'm a loner and
I love too. I love my space, but I love
to share, you know, and and I love to share
with the strangers too, like because I can see sometimes
as train like a stranger in the street having you know,
their own bubble and hard time. And I go and
(22:22):
I'm the poker, you know. I poke writing to it
just to make a little challenge for the day, because
you know life can be boring. Well you're hardly. Yeah,
you are not boring. There's nothing boring about Ruthie. I'm
that is or truth he is. I'm going to call
you now forever. Um. I think there's something to explore here,
(22:46):
you know. The Good Friend Podcast UM felt very singular.
I've interviewed a couple friends, you know. I interviewed Christopher
and his childhood best friend David nick Turn. I interviewed
my friend Merrily and jan together. Um. I've interviewed some
(23:07):
other friend groups. Obviously, I'm not going to have a
group of fifteen people because you wouldn't be able to,
you know, differentiate the voices in the point of view
since it's audio. But I think there's something profound because
I was very limited in my mind by saying good
(23:28):
friend felt very insular. And what you've just opened my
mind too, is that you can be a good friend
to the world, that it can be global, that it
is not necessarily the limited term, Oh this is my
good friend. You can actually expand it to strangers, to
(23:53):
be a good steward of friendship to the environment, and
that it can be limitless. And I think that's the
first time on this podcast i've heard someone articulated you know,
I have been practicing that for a long time to
get to that point where you as you know, as
(24:17):
I said before, I don't like to be h a
conventional person. So there's someone who says, oh, she's my
best friend, and I go, oh, I thought I was
her best friend, just to you know, be a teaser.
But yeah, but there's something about that that's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah,
(24:39):
it depends, you know, like it depends how you feel,
how you know that thing about only you know it's mine. Possessive. Yeah,
it's possessive. I like to think about we and I
like I like to allow that person to think you
are her best friend. But in my inner self, like
(25:02):
a really truthfully, I am your best friend, and no
matter what, you can have a tons of other best friends.
But you know, I consider myself for the truth of
my actions and my bonding and you know, our relationship
and not only with you, with my friends that are
(25:24):
in Brazil that I have not being you know, they're
in a daily you know, life present. But yet I
mean their thoughts to I send a reminder, I do
a you know, a little you know thing of a reminder.
You know I still here. Hello, I'm your best friend,
(25:45):
you know, so I think it's just your essence, like
how you're gonna practice of living in this bubble world
now that you can. You know, I would never ever
believe that I would explore and be in a relationship
with my best friend, you know over uh like a
(26:09):
zoom or what's up? Face time? And now I bonded
with my grand nephews and nieces you know that way,
and I play with them you know, memory cards, and
you know, spend hours with them, you know, on FaceTime.
(26:30):
And I'm like, wow, but that when you said essential oils,
that I explore that real of essence. I really like
to explore all the sensorch you know. I I remember
taking care of a period of my life that I
(26:53):
took care of a lot of cancer patients for like
fifteen years or something. I became a pro just as
natural going, you know and observing. And I learned that
the listening, because every single one of them will come
out of the doctor's devastated and crying say that they
(27:15):
don't listen to me. You know, they all have this protocol.
I'm not a protocol, you know. And I start treating
them as a unique human beings, as what they were
needing at that point. And I learned that the listening.
Oh my gosh, like nobody listen, you know, next to
(27:39):
me where I was living, and I was like, WHOA.
So I did this exercise that I would. I have
a t shirt that said don't talk to me that
I could, you know, UM practice that daily for hours.
Just listening to people. At the beginning was very annoying
(28:00):
because people, you know, like I, spend time just you know,
saying superficial things and you know, trying to prove something.
But when you get to the essence of listening, that
was one of the best gifts I could ever given
to myself, you know, the listening, the touch. I already
had the touch because when I start you know, this
(28:23):
healing thing that you start reading people energy and you
get a little too high for like, whoa, this is
amazing just by breathing into it. I had to ground myself.
And so the way I found it by grounding that
um energy was by touching. So I started gardening, and
(28:46):
from gardening, I started studying massages and start touching people.
And it was much more rewarding, you know, like, wow,
that's amazing what I can do to help people to
you know, of move on. UM. I would tetch people
and out of the blue, that person to start crying sobbing,
(29:10):
and I was like, you know, I would never take personally, Wow,
that's awesome. You know, I'm so happy I was here too,
you know, and owner that you trust me to share
your tears, Like how awesome? You know? So UM And
the scene when you see someone it's like, you know,
(29:32):
forget about being in a past or trying to see
that person in a future. Who am I You know,
I would just look at it, so it's easy, you know,
in the present moment, you look at it. You're breathing
in the present moment, so you see it. It's just
because I think we put so much, so many layers,
(29:54):
um so without a layer one after the other, you
be in the present moment. And I love living that
kind of relationship. That's what a true friend is. When
you're like a yesterday I expressed to a friend of mine,
do you mind to stop, you know, doing something when
(30:15):
you're talking to me. I can hear in the background,
Oh I need water, I'm making my juice. I'm like, no,
so call me later because I need your This is
a hard time. This is a hard um you know,
place to be when you give a hundred percent your
attention to someone and that's someone it's everywhere else, but
(30:38):
with you, like then you really come on. That person
says you are my best friend, but she's all over
the place, somewhere else, and I like a like a
person like me, I have a hard time to you know,
give a hundred percent of my attention to someone and
(30:58):
that someone is everywhere else. Even my brothers and sisters
and best friends they do that all the time. But
you know I have to do the calling Hello, can
you be present for me? Because I need that from you.
I think that that's another thing. You have to be
truthful to yourself and give a hand to to your
(31:19):
friend that is all over the place and say listen,
I need your attention. You know. I think that's a practice.
You know. Oh, okay, sorry, I'm right here for you something.
I'll get it. I'm a good friend. We'll be right
back with more good friend after this quick break. Don't well,
(31:52):
I'm going to bring something up. I'm not gonna do
my terrible imitation of you. I promise that would be
my wonderful imitation. I don't do accents for the listeners
that are growing and expanding just listening to your voice. Um.
You know, Ruth has told me the truth many times
(32:13):
early on in our in our relationship when we first met,
when she had just come to Los Angeles and was
you know, had already studied and was very talented, crazy
talented um healer massuse, and but we had met because
(32:35):
like everybody else who hustles, um, you know, there was
she would needed a day job that would pay for
her living. And I was right, you had no money.
You were young girl from Brazil, and people said, you know,
if you're nanny you're a lovely person, you're great with kids.
Um Nanny's makes some serious money that you can live
(32:57):
on in Los Angeles and anyway, we at that way.
It did not work out because Ruthie's accent was very strong,
stronger than it is now everyone listening, don't hate me.
And at the time my little girl was just brand
new and speaking and it just it was it wasn't
going to work out. And instead of you know, kind
(33:21):
of me, I was a new mom, I was a
new employer. I didn't know how to have these relationships.
It was very um nervous making for me. Ruthie just
sort of like looked at me. It was like, you know, look,
are you gonna give me this job or not. If
you're not going to give me this job, let me know,
it's okay with me, but this is ridiculous. And it
was just that moment of like, um, no, you know,
(33:45):
and I just was like ah, and I said, no,
I'm not, but I am going to hire you as
a mssus. So um I began that relationship where we
now um were and even during a massage, even during
a massage, I remember maybe smoking some pot, maybe you know,
(34:09):
having a little cocktail before to relax, as if you
need to relax before a massage. And I remember I
sort of was a little passed out. Not I wasn't
passed out, but I was certainly not there. I wasn't there,
and Ruthie was straddling me and looking at me and going,
(34:29):
you know, Jamie, I'm not here for you to just
sort of get done. I'm here only if you're my partner.
You have to partner in this. You have to breathe.
You have to breathe, Jamie. You have to breathe when
when we're working in your diaphragm where you have to breathe.
(34:51):
The massage doesn't work if you don't partner with it.
And again I was like, I said, this woman is
It's okay, I can finish the massage. In the middle
of it, I closed my table. I was leaving. You
said come back to morrow to finish. I'm like, oh,
(35:11):
this is cool, massage a past massage Monday and Tuesday
I will finish. Oh more Monday. Good. I need a
living Okay that I have a dispute about that, but
but it doesn't matter because you get the idea that
this isn't someone who's just not there with you, but
(35:31):
with you. It was. It was a very clear to
me very early on that this woman would always tell
me the truth, that you would always bring me into
whatever present moment needed to be brought into, even if
it was difficult. So many years later, many people, UM,
(35:53):
I am a gift giver. I believe in the power
of gift giving. I feel it is a great UM
way of communicating feelings. It's a great way of letting
someone know that you're thinking of them. UM. I love
the process of gift giving. And so when Ruthie was
(36:14):
new in our life, UM the gift of touch. To
be able to give a gift to somebody you're working
with or a family member, UM as a gift and
say this is a gift to you. I'm giving you
a gift certificate from Ruthie. And you know that has
grown globally. There are people that I've introduced Ruthie to
(36:40):
that then introduced Ruthie to someone else and the next
thing you know, there's a relationship for ten years where
they're working with them exclusively. UM. And throughout this time,
the gift of touch has been crucial and it has
made me very happy to know how global Ruthie's um
(37:02):
uh exposure has been. And I have people all over
the world will say, oh, Ruthie and everyone that that
look on their face, and I mean, there's not I'm
seeing Jake later today, and I know all I have
to do is say I saw Ruthie earlier, and Jake
is just going to immediately relax and immediately move into
(37:23):
a different psychic space because just your name reminds people
to breathe. It's it's an extraordinary gift, uh, mistruth. So,
but I'm going to talk about one thing, um for
the uninitiated listener or listeners. Um As you know, if
you are into this podcast at all, you know me
(37:47):
a little bit. You know I have, you know, tried
to tell the truth a lot. I've tried to expose
a lot about myself publicly. Um As you know. I
am a recovering drug addict and alcohol. Look, I am
twenty two years sober clean from drugs and alcohol. And
(38:07):
there were series of moments that led to that surrender.
There were a series of them, but the most important
one was I was Ruthie was visiting us up in
the mountains where we sometimes live, and I was in
(38:29):
a very long vicudin opiate addiction, very secret. No one knew.
It was late in the afternoon. It was dinnertime, cocktail hour.
I had a glass of wine. I had a pocketful
of vicadin. I remember, I was facing, you know, toward
a window, looking out at my sink, and I took
(38:55):
out a handful of these pills and I put them
in my mouth and I slugged them back with a uh,
you know, shot of wine. And from behind me, unbeknownst
to me, Ruth had come into that room. And this
is what I heard. And I am going to do
my bad accent Ruthie, just because it's it. I'm you know,
(39:17):
it's my podcast. I get to do my terrible Ruth
pone fillon imitation. So again, everyone, please do not hold
this against me. But from behind me, as I am
staring outside, I hear this. You're not Jamie. You know
I see you with your lettle peels and you think
(39:40):
I don't see you, but you know I see everything,
And you know what. You're dead. You're a dead woman.
You think you're alive. You'll think you're so great, but
you're not. You're dead. And I love you, but you're dead.
And I'm telling you to my listeners that moment of
(40:04):
truth was the fundamental moment of truth in my life.
That my belief that I was so alive and could
justify my addiction like I'm so alive, I need this
(40:26):
to be so alive. You understand how wrong that is.
And there was this person behind me, secretly behind me,
telling me the truth. And it was from that moment
that was December, let's call it December nineteen and I
(40:48):
got sober February third, So it was a month and
a half later, through a couple other circumstances that ultimately
made me surrender. But that gift of that moment from
my guest, ruth point fiand was the the crucial moment
(41:10):
of truth in my life. And I believe Ruthie, you've
probably had that same conversation with many people about many things. Yes, yes,
and I you know, I just want to add something
that I have told you then that I said to
you listen, I am not gonna treat you any longer.
(41:33):
I can lose my time, our energy, your money. But
one thing I would never do. I would never abandon you, you,
my buddy, you, my friend. I will will remain friends,
but don't waste my time. And you know you got
your arts too straight, like so fast that it was
(41:55):
so you know, I was so happy to see you
that that wake up call, that it took place so fast,
and so by witnessing that, and I promised myself that
with anyone that I would see the patent of you know,
(42:17):
either deny or hiding themselves, I would have to do
the true call, you know, after them, because that was
my call. And I tried to always really come from
a very genuine, giving, you know, loving place sometimes and
I do also in a very playful way, but sometimes
(42:41):
it can be very harsh. And I don't really apologize
to anyone about that harshness because it's harsh for them.
They have me to call them on that, you know,
on there. I didn't want to say anything else but
on their on their boat. So you know, it feels
(43:02):
really good. It feels like, you know, that is what
friends are for. Even if you are just my client,
you know, like I I will, I consider you as
the human being. Does doesn't matter if you're my friend
or not my friend, or if we have a long
(43:22):
lesting relationship or a short one. But I always think
that tomorrow doesn't exist, especially with COVID. You know, I
like I I keep thinking, why are you waiting for
a moment like a COVID to get ready, you know,
to talk about your passing? So just get ready now.
(43:45):
You don't want any of your children or in your
family to go through help to figure it out your
password or you know, your user name to make just
give it away like who is like a in that matter?
I really trust because you know, I wanta to be
(44:06):
easier on everybody, especially when becomes to me. But people,
you know, they hesitate, they hiding everything, how much money
they have, or you know, it's obviously that's a personal thing.
But if you can leave a note with everything to
make it easier for everybody, that's what friends are for,
(44:26):
to make it life easier for each other, you know. Um,
so I'm having that experience that in my daily life,
I want to make every step of the way easier,
more pleasant. Let's laugh, Let's have fun, you know, let's exercise.
Let's just not talk about the problems, how about the
(44:49):
solutions and how about you know, the good of it.
So that's why when people talks to me about the
situation in a day to day. You know, I just
talk about the good things that I have learned from
the situation, you know, so we can you know, move
on and be more proactive and you know, have a
(45:13):
more expended, you know life. That it would teach us
to be more bonded together present, I know, and I
wish that President Biden would appoint you the Tsar of seriously,
the Tsar of mindfulness, so that we all can because
(45:34):
people learn, people learn, You can teach people. You can
actually people are going to have learned something today which
is extraordinary, which is again the gift of friendship is
that you want that. So give me in our last
you know, a few minutes, give me give us all
some suggestions. Okay, you know I I had the answer
(45:58):
before you ask me the question. But you know, I
was with a child yesterday and he was very fussy
and like you know, agitated, and I said to myself,
I bet if I put intention that I will slow
down his heart rate and calm him down. Just that thought,
(46:22):
in a blink, the child calm down and start relaxing,
And was this smiling. Last week I was with someone
who her blood pressure was high, her heart rate was
you know, speeding like out of control, and I said
(46:42):
to her, come here, I want to prove something to you.
If I have an intention of his slowing down your
heart rate, that's gonna happen. But the the reason I'm
pointing out to you, it's because I want to prove
when you have intention of something that is good, it's
gonna happen. So I put my two fingers on her heartbeat,
(47:07):
you know, on her pulse. I closed my eyes and
I just start talking to her heart. Hey heart, how
are you. Let's just slow down for a moment. You
feel so much better when you're breathing and you're in
a right pace. And immediately the heart to start the
(47:28):
boom boom, And she started laughing. And I like, I
tell you, if you have a good intention and don't
get caught or lost within yourself about para noia. You know,
paranoia is the worst breath you can take. You start thinking,
(47:51):
you know, and anticipating that this is gonna happen, that's
gonna happen. Definitely it's gonna happen. So I highly recommended
everybody to, you know, let's live in a present, you know,
let's think about a good thing that it can happen
among us, with each other or with it yourself. You know,
(48:15):
take care of your nutrition, you know they take care
of your sleep, take care of yourself in general. You know,
not get start thinking about what you're gonna do tomorrow,
that you can do this or you cannot do that. No,
think about the things you can do. That's what I
have to say. You know, it's very simple. Don't complicate it,
(48:40):
my friend, my good intention friend, Ruth point Fillan, thank
you so deeply for helping us understand it from a
much different perspective than others have shared. And I'm so
oh happy. You make me happy. Um, my friend Truth
(49:05):
pont Fion, thanks for having me for all the listeners
or the listener um, stay safe out there, God bless you,
and tune in another time. Thank you, ugly. Don't good
(49:31):
Friend is produced by Dylan Fagin and is a production
of My Heart Radio. Our theme song good Friend is written, produced,
and performed by Emily King. Don't already agative? I'm a
(49:54):
good friend. I don't already ative from a good Friend.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
If there's something I'll get if I'm a good friend. Hi, everybody,
it's Jamie Lee Curtis and you're listening to the Good
Friend Podcast, presented to you by I Heart Radio. It's
a podcast about friendship. We talk about everything, We cry,
(00:24):
we laugh, we think about what it really means to
be a good friend. And I have conversations with some
of my best friends, some people I've never met, and
sort of everything in between. So I hope by the
end of it that you have a really good sense
(00:47):
of what friendship means to me and the people that
I consider friends. And I hope you can take those
same ideas into your own friendship groups, and I hope
you enjoy it. I don't know, idea and the love
of a good friend. I am so deeply happy to
(01:12):
welcome my friend ruth point Fion to the Good Friend Podcast.
Welcome Ruthie. I'm so happy to be here for you
and with everybody that is listening to us. Well. The
fact that you've already referred to everybody means that I
promise you now there will be everybody. I have only
referred to them as my one listener because I don't
(01:35):
want to get ahead of myself and have me think
that they're like a bunch of people listening. And so
I've I've just referred to them as my one listener.
And now you've already welcomed more people, so your job
is done. We could stop now. Um, Ruth is as
good a friend as I have ever known in my life.
(01:57):
And I'm going to tell you why. Ruth is a healer.
And in her healing she goes right to the heart
of the matter. It does not matter if you agree
or disagree. She will tell you like it is. And
(02:24):
it is the greatest gift of friend can give you,
is to tell you the truth. So I think we
should just rename you truth point fion and and have
you changed all your paperwork and you know, your birth
certificate and the rest, which is a bit of a
pain in the ass, but it would be worth it
(02:45):
because you are truth. You are truth, Ruth, You are truth?
Um have you always been that person? So I I
want to just say something that you know is I
think we all were born healers. It's just matters how
we practice in our daily life. And I've been practicing
(03:09):
since you know, Um, like I remember as five seven
years old, as seeing fairy tale you know, fairy tales
and following you know, the light and playing with it.
And then I took that practice, you know, my entire life.
It just because I was having fun. But as I
(03:35):
started realizing that it was my true call, I just
you know, start studying and the practicing, um to see
if it was rewording like having results that you would
fulfill uh my heart, and I just follow it, um
(04:02):
so to be truthful with that inner self, I start
realizing that when I was looking at people, I was
seeing them who they were and not how they were
acting upon and trying to be someone else, because to
be fair, we all try our best to be someone else.
(04:28):
And so when I start just taking that call, I
I I started seeing the results that I was helping people,
and it was so much fun, and I just took
that as my calling. I started studying, and um, I
(04:49):
love it, you know, from healing modalities, different ones like
uh you know, quantum touch, raiky name it, massage therapy,
all those ears watsu watsu. You know. I start being
trying to be as weird as I could because I
(05:10):
never really like to be conventional, like you know, the
normal person. I was never normal I guess I want to.
I want to go back to you're calling because to
to be a good friend. I've heard different people talk
(05:31):
about aspects of friendship that are important to them. Trust
has come up a lot um, a bit of clairvoyance, um,
a little bit of telepathy, people who say, my friend
knows something is wrong before I do, that sort of
inter connection that we have with people with our very dear,
(05:53):
good friends. But honesty re all. Honesty is something that
we want from our friends, but I think is lacking
in a lot of our close friendships because we have
(06:13):
gotten into the ruts of our friendships. We have entered
these sort of troughs where it's it's hard to really
stop somebody and go you know what. I don't like
this aspect. There's something happening here that I want to
bring into the relationship so that we can talk about it.
And you have always, since the beginning of our friendship,
(06:39):
been able two bring difficult subjects into the friendship. Is
that do you consider that part of your healing? Because
I feel it's healing even though it hurts. I think, um,
it's a good hurt. But I think it's more living
(07:03):
in a present, like I remember once you were asking
me you know what was God to me? And I
I told you that we were in front of this chair,
and I said, Jamie, you know God, this whatever is
in front of us, that I give myself a hundred
(07:25):
percent attention to that, you know, to that object or
to that person or so I think at the present
moment it's the most important thing. And I think because
I'm in a present I'm not thinking of you ahead
or in the past. I'm right there a hundred percent
with you, and I'm seeing you from within yourself and
(07:51):
not as you know, your body, your hair, your wrinkles,
your eyebrows, whatever, But I'm seeing from inside of yourself.
And I think with that coming as a practice, you
know how much more you practice that present momentum. I
think you know, it gets very clear. Um. That's why
(08:15):
I think from the beginning, from the start, I like,
for example, I don't have a TV for forty years,
and I have no idea who you are and represent
to the world. But I I always see you who
you were. It doesn't matter you know who you were
(08:37):
trying to be or trying to show yourself to the world.
I was seeing you as Jamie, as an essence, not
as anything else. So for me it was always very easy.
You know, you could go around and around and trying to,
you know, uh, show something else in the surface. But
(08:59):
it's kind of heart to hide. You can't. I will
tell you. Um, to our listeners, you've now multiplied them. UM,
our friends, the people listening, maybe women going on a
walk while somebody watches their kids. Um. When Ruth looks
(09:22):
at you, if you get the opportunity to look this
woman in the eye, you cannot hide. She will, she will,
she will pierce you. Um. It is a calling, It
is her gift, it is her reis on debt, it
is her mission, it is her my fashion. Actually, I
(09:51):
have a passion to see the people for who they
are and without judging, no agenda, you know, accepting the
acceptance for who you are, no matter what. Also, there's
that exchange that I learned not many years ago, as
I say sometimes to you, that healing comes with you know,
(10:16):
the momentum that you learn how to receive, not the
giving part of it giving. It's very easy. I want
to see you sitting there, open your arms unconditionally and
receive whatever is there you know, to come to you. Unconditionally.
But I get to say when I did that exercise
(10:39):
that I learned the healing comes more with the act
of receiving. UM. I was surprised. He took me like
three months to realize that are very little people out
there giving unconditionally. You know. They always come either with
agenda or for our formation. They're good enough for um,
(11:02):
you know, or whatever that might be the agenda. But
for you to just sit there and receive unconditionally, with
no agenda, you know, just with open arms, it's very frightened,
you know, because it's very little out there that is unconventionally.
There's always the trade, the exchange. I do this, you
(11:26):
can need that, or whatever there might be. We call
it transactional. You know, that's a transaction. And you make
me cry. I'm telling you it's such a pure attempt
and hope that you can receive something open that it isn't.
As you said, what you can do for me, what
(11:47):
I can do for you, How we can turn this
into a transaction and then somehow satisfies something within that transaction.
And it almost has nothing to do with us. It
has to do with a sternal forces that that are
not our essence and you you know, you work with
(12:08):
essential oils, which are the essence, which are the the
the distilled essence of a natural item that the oil
from that gives a healing and a power, and that
is what you want in a friendship. But I'm I
(12:31):
think I'm weeping because there's so many friendships that don't
feel that way. Yeah, I think, you know, I think
a pandemic every day. I don't fight against it because
I think the pandemic has said, you know, go home,
(12:53):
clean up your own you know, crap, and I will
take care of the planet, and you take of your
own you know, family, your friendship, you're you know, being
And I think people are struggling because they are so
instuent to you know, be out there and doing things
the doors. You know, I get accomplished. How about sit
(13:17):
there and do nothing. You would see that the nothing's
gonna multiply and start, you know, getting like start growing
into this beautiful world that you were not aware. It
was always there, but you were not aware because you
were always doing it. I remember once we were in
some valley, you and me and I started laughing and
(13:39):
I said to you, Jamie, have you noticed why we
always fight with each other with the little things. And
you said what And I said, well, are we fighting
to see who gives the most? You know, like, Okay,
let's just receive now received. Being receiving is seemingly easy
(14:04):
for some people and harder for others. Mm hmm, it's
hard for me. I'm much better. It's much much better
about receiving it. And you know, I think people listening
will relate. Um. And I don't want to say you
don't feel worthy of whatever it is that's being offered
(14:26):
to you, but I think that I think you touched
on it so much with the transactional aspect of friendship
that it doesn't feel safe. It's not if it's a business,
if it's a transaction, it's not safe. It's it's always
(14:47):
um tinged with some with some loss, and I that
scares me. And so it's harder for me to receive.
And I'm working on it. Um, I'm working on it.
(15:08):
I think you brought to the point that is a trust,
you know, because this world it was so much detouring, distorcing,
you know, of the energy of the present moment. We
always wear either ahead or behind that when you get
to that present moment and you like, you know, can
(15:29):
I trust this? You know, like you feel yourself either
speeding ahead or you know it's lagashing behind, and when
you get to that present moment, you go like, oh,
can I trust this? You know? Is that like it's
almost like an unfamiliar and when you start, you know,
(15:50):
getting to that familiar space, you're like, whoa, you know,
it feels good, but it feels unfamiliar because you're not
in the present moment. And I think what I witness
with you was always so brilliant because you always had
that in herself. There was so big and vast and
(16:14):
just so much to you know, share, but you were
always so ahead, you know, like either planning and you
know I always say I don't plan, I have visions
and then I transcend them. Because believe me, if you
look at your day, whatever you plan of your plan
(16:35):
doesn't happen, you know, But if you have that vision
that you have a fully intention of transcending and they
can happen, you can sit down and do nothing and
it's going to happen. So that's what I've been doing
with the pandemic. You know, like what can I do?
You know, be devastating and not be helpful. I want
(16:58):
to be helpful, So I think the best way to
be helpful with it's finding friends in just a matter
of a smiling What I love about you know, the
situation of a mask. It's because now we're making eye
contact finally, you know, finally for YouTube make to see
(17:23):
if it's someone understanding you. You just make an eye contact,
like even in a coffee shop. You know, at the beginning,
I was frustrated because you know, my accent or my
worthy wouldn't get through, and I'm like, what the hell?
And then I like, uh, hi, can I look in
your eyes? Because my English is not that good? Maybe
(17:47):
you will understand what I need in my coffee or something?
Oh sure, you know, be playful or something I always
try to put on myself. And so I can't improve,
you know, because people has this thing. It wasn't me,
you know, sure wasn't It's always me. You know something
(18:09):
I know I'll get it. If I'm a good friend.
We'll be right back with more good friend after this
quick break, So stick around, don't I know, I'll get it.
I'm a good friend. I don't know anything. I were
you this way when you were little. I want to
(18:31):
find out a little bit about how you were with
friends and making friends in your early life before you
came to America, because you're from Brazil, and so I
would like to ask you a little bit about your
early life there about friendship. My my family, we were
like six kids and each of us had friends that
(18:54):
each one had seven or eight brothers and sisters, so
we always had this huge amount of it was a
tribal you know work that we always had to you know,
rely on each other for some From my essence, you know,
I learned what friendship was from the beginning. We relying
(19:18):
in each other, We cover each other up no matter what,
you know, kept secrets. So the value of that friendship
was always so important. And my father and my mother
was very you know, they were very disciplinary, but yet
they would let us loose to live the truth of
(19:41):
our you know, essence. So that was good for us
that we could live our daily life with each one
have your best friend you know coming along. So it
was always like twelve of uh, I have twenty one
or twenty eight first cousins, So all our summer camp
(20:05):
was just you know, first cousins. And one of each
could have the best friend. So no matter what, we
were bonded to the t we would not give each
other up. And oh man, those one who pointed that
finger were being trouble and then to to day they
(20:29):
were they are my best friends. It's still you know,
so I know what is friends for that, you know,
for bad and good. We always there no matter what.
So again, I think we all were born healers. And
it depends how you practice your friendship from its beginning.
(20:52):
It's just you take on to this vast opportunity that
you would never feel alone. And you know, I never
got married, and I love relationships as a whole. I
don't like one oh one, I like one of want
to take mere wrong. But you know, I don't like
(21:12):
to belong to one person. I like to belong to
the whole that I think that's why I took on
to you know, do my living, you know, have my
living as a healer, because I love the practice of
being helpful to the world, not to just one person
(21:34):
or to you know, three kids or you know, I
didn't have kids, but I take care of many and
I love that, you know, uh, that feeling of belong
to the world, not to accompassed. You know, I have
a huge, vastly family friends, so that makes me feel
(22:00):
really good. I don't feel lonely. I'm a loner and
I love too. I love my space, but I love
to share, you know, and and I love to share
with the strangers too, like because I can see sometimes
as train like a stranger in the street having you know,
their own bubble and hard time. And I go and
(22:22):
I'm the poker, you know. I poke writing to it
just to make a little challenge for the day, because
you know life can be boring. Well you're hardly. Yeah,
you are not boring. There's nothing boring about Ruthie. I'm
that is or truth he is. I'm going to call
you now forever. Um. I think there's something to explore here,
(22:46):
you know. The Good Friend Podcast UM felt very singular.
I've interviewed a couple friends, you know. I interviewed Christopher
and his childhood best friend David nick Turn. I interviewed
my friend Merrily and jan together. Um. I've interviewed some
(23:07):
other friend groups. Obviously, I'm not going to have a
group of fifteen people because you wouldn't be able to,
you know, differentiate the voices in the point of view
since it's audio. But I think there's something profound because
I was very limited in my mind by saying good
(23:28):
friend felt very insular. And what you've just opened my
mind too, is that you can be a good friend
to the world, that it can be global, that it
is not necessarily the limited term, Oh this is my
good friend. You can actually expand it to strangers, to
(23:53):
be a good steward of friendship to the environment, and
that it can be limitless. And I think that's the
first time on this podcast i've heard someone articulated you know,
I have been practicing that for a long time to
get to that point where you as you know, as
(24:17):
I said before, I don't like to be h a
conventional person. So there's someone who says, oh, she's my
best friend, and I go, oh, I thought I was
her best friend, just to you know, be a teaser.
But yeah, but there's something about that that's exactly right. Yeah. Yeah,
(24:39):
it depends, you know, like it depends how you feel,
how you know that thing about only you know it's mine. Possessive. Yeah,
it's possessive. I like to think about we and I
like I like to allow that person to think you
are her best friend. But in my inner self, like
(25:02):
a really truthfully, I am your best friend, and no
matter what, you can have a tons of other best friends.
But you know, I consider myself for the truth of
my actions and my bonding and you know, our relationship
and not only with you, with my friends that are
(25:24):
in Brazil that I have not being you know, they're
in a daily you know, life present. But yet I
mean their thoughts to I send a reminder, I do
a you know, a little you know thing of a reminder.
You know I still here. Hello, I'm your best friend,
(25:45):
you know, so I think it's just your essence, like
how you're gonna practice of living in this bubble world
now that you can. You know, I would never ever
believe that I would explore and be in a relationship
with my best friend, you know over uh like a
(26:09):
zoom or what's up? Face time? And now I bonded
with my grand nephews and nieces you know that way,
and I play with them you know, memory cards, and
you know, spend hours with them, you know, on FaceTime.
(26:30):
And I'm like, wow, but that when you said essential oils,
that I explore that real of essence. I really like
to explore all the sensorch you know. I I remember
taking care of a period of my life that I
(26:53):
took care of a lot of cancer patients for like
fifteen years or something. I became a pro just as
natural going, you know and observing. And I learned that
the listening, because every single one of them will come
out of the doctor's devastated and crying say that they
(27:15):
don't listen to me. You know, they all have this protocol.
I'm not a protocol, you know. And I start treating
them as a unique human beings, as what they were
needing at that point. And I learned that the listening.
Oh my gosh, like nobody listen, you know, next to
(27:39):
me where I was living, and I was like, WHOA.
So I did this exercise that I would. I have
a t shirt that said don't talk to me that
I could, you know, UM practice that daily for hours.
Just listening to people. At the beginning was very annoying
(28:00):
because people, you know, like I, spend time just you know,
saying superficial things and you know, trying to prove something.
But when you get to the essence of listening, that
was one of the best gifts I could ever given
to myself, you know, the listening, the touch. I already
had the touch because when I start you know, this
(28:23):
healing thing that you start reading people energy and you
get a little too high for like, whoa, this is
amazing just by breathing into it. I had to ground myself.
And so the way I found it by grounding that
um energy was by touching. So I started gardening, and
(28:46):
from gardening, I started studying massages and start touching people.
And it was much more rewarding, you know, like, wow,
that's amazing what I can do to help people to
you know, of move on. UM. I would tetch people
and out of the blue, that person to start crying sobbing,
(29:10):
and I was like, you know, I would never take personally, Wow,
that's awesome. You know, I'm so happy I was here too,
you know, and owner that you trust me to share
your tears, Like how awesome? You know? So UM And
the scene when you see someone it's like, you know,
(29:32):
forget about being in a past or trying to see
that person in a future. Who am I You know,
I would just look at it, so it's easy, you know,
in the present moment, you look at it. You're breathing
in the present moment, so you see it. It's just
because I think we put so much, so many layers,
(29:54):
um so without a layer one after the other, you
be in the present moment. And I love living that
kind of relationship. That's what a true friend is. When
you're like a yesterday I expressed to a friend of mine,
do you mind to stop, you know, doing something when
(30:15):
you're talking to me. I can hear in the background,
Oh I need water, I'm making my juice. I'm like, no,
so call me later because I need your This is
a hard time. This is a hard um you know,
place to be when you give a hundred percent your
attention to someone and that's someone it's everywhere else, but
(30:38):
with you, like then you really come on. That person
says you are my best friend, but she's all over
the place, somewhere else, and I like a like a
person like me, I have a hard time to you know,
give a hundred percent of my attention to someone and
(30:58):
that someone is everywhere else. Even my brothers and sisters
and best friends they do that all the time. But
you know I have to do the calling Hello, can
you be present for me? Because I need that from you.
I think that that's another thing. You have to be
truthful to yourself and give a hand to to your
(31:19):
friend that is all over the place and say listen,
I need your attention. You know. I think that's a practice.
You know. Oh, okay, sorry, I'm right here for you something.
I'll get it. I'm a good friend. We'll be right
back with more good friend after this quick break. Don't well,
(31:52):
I'm going to bring something up. I'm not gonna do
my terrible imitation of you. I promise that would be
my wonderful imitation. I don't do accents for the listeners
that are growing and expanding just listening to your voice. Um.
You know, Ruth has told me the truth many times
(32:13):
early on in our in our relationship when we first met,
when she had just come to Los Angeles and was
you know, had already studied and was very talented, crazy
talented um healer massuse, and but we had met because
(32:35):
like everybody else who hustles, um, you know, there was
she would needed a day job that would pay for
her living. And I was right, you had no money.
You were young girl from Brazil, and people said, you know,
if you're nanny you're a lovely person, you're great with kids.
Um Nanny's makes some serious money that you can live
(32:57):
on in Los Angeles and anyway, we at that way.
It did not work out because Ruthie's accent was very strong,
stronger than it is now everyone listening, don't hate me.
And at the time my little girl was just brand
new and speaking and it just it was it wasn't
going to work out. And instead of you know, kind
(33:21):
of me, I was a new mom, I was a
new employer. I didn't know how to have these relationships.
It was very um nervous making for me. Ruthie just
sort of like looked at me. It was like, you know, look,
are you gonna give me this job or not. If
you're not going to give me this job, let me know,
it's okay with me, but this is ridiculous. And it
was just that moment of like, um, no, you know,
(33:45):
and I just was like ah, and I said, no,
I'm not, but I am going to hire you as
a mssus. So um I began that relationship where we
now um were and even during a massage, even during
a massage, I remember maybe smoking some pot, maybe you know,
(34:09):
having a little cocktail before to relax, as if you
need to relax before a massage. And I remember I
sort of was a little passed out. Not I wasn't
passed out, but I was certainly not there. I wasn't there,
and Ruthie was straddling me and looking at me and going,
(34:29):
you know, Jamie, I'm not here for you to just
sort of get done. I'm here only if you're my partner.
You have to partner in this. You have to breathe.
You have to breathe, Jamie. You have to breathe when
when we're working in your diaphragm where you have to breathe.
(34:51):
The massage doesn't work if you don't partner with it.
And again I was like, I said, this woman is
It's okay, I can finish the massage. In the middle
of it, I closed my table. I was leaving. You
said come back to morrow to finish. I'm like, oh,
(35:11):
this is cool, massage a past massage Monday and Tuesday
I will finish. Oh more Monday. Good. I need a
living Okay that I have a dispute about that, but
but it doesn't matter because you get the idea that
this isn't someone who's just not there with you, but
(35:31):
with you. It was. It was a very clear to
me very early on that this woman would always tell
me the truth, that you would always bring me into
whatever present moment needed to be brought into, even if
it was difficult. So many years later, many people, UM,
(35:53):
I am a gift giver. I believe in the power
of gift giving. I feel it is a great UM
way of communicating feelings. It's a great way of letting
someone know that you're thinking of them. UM. I love
the process of gift giving. And so when Ruthie was
(36:14):
new in our life, UM the gift of touch. To
be able to give a gift to somebody you're working
with or a family member, UM as a gift and
say this is a gift to you. I'm giving you
a gift certificate from Ruthie. And you know that has
grown globally. There are people that I've introduced Ruthie to
(36:40):
that then introduced Ruthie to someone else and the next
thing you know, there's a relationship for ten years where
they're working with them exclusively. UM. And throughout this time,
the gift of touch has been crucial and it has
made me very happy to know how global Ruthie's um
(37:02):
uh exposure has been. And I have people all over
the world will say, oh, Ruthie and everyone that that
look on their face, and I mean, there's not I'm
seeing Jake later today, and I know all I have
to do is say I saw Ruthie earlier, and Jake
is just going to immediately relax and immediately move into
(37:23):
a different psychic space because just your name reminds people
to breathe. It's it's an extraordinary gift, uh, mistruth. So,
but I'm going to talk about one thing, um for
the uninitiated listener or listeners. Um As you know, if
you are into this podcast at all, you know me
(37:47):
a little bit. You know I have, you know, tried
to tell the truth a lot. I've tried to expose
a lot about myself publicly. Um As you know. I
am a recovering drug addict and alcohol. Look, I am
twenty two years sober clean from drugs and alcohol. And
(38:07):
there were series of moments that led to that surrender.
There were a series of them, but the most important
one was I was Ruthie was visiting us up in
the mountains where we sometimes live, and I was in
(38:29):
a very long vicudin opiate addiction, very secret. No one knew.
It was late in the afternoon. It was dinnertime, cocktail hour.
I had a glass of wine. I had a pocketful
of vicadin. I remember, I was facing, you know, toward
a window, looking out at my sink, and I took
(38:55):
out a handful of these pills and I put them
in my mouth and I slugged them back with a uh,
you know, shot of wine. And from behind me, unbeknownst
to me, Ruth had come into that room. And this
is what I heard. And I am going to do
my bad accent Ruthie, just because it's it. I'm you know,
(39:17):
it's my podcast. I get to do my terrible Ruth
pone fillon imitation. So again, everyone, please do not hold
this against me. But from behind me, as I am
staring outside, I hear this. You're not Jamie. You know
I see you with your lettle peels and you think
(39:40):
I don't see you, but you know I see everything,
And you know what. You're dead. You're a dead woman.
You think you're alive. You'll think you're so great, but
you're not. You're dead. And I love you, but you're dead.
And I'm telling you to my listeners that moment of
(40:04):
truth was the fundamental moment of truth in my life.
That my belief that I was so alive and could
justify my addiction like I'm so alive, I need this
(40:26):
to be so alive. You understand how wrong that is.
And there was this person behind me, secretly behind me,
telling me the truth. And it was from that moment
that was December, let's call it December nineteen and I
(40:48):
got sober February third, So it was a month and
a half later, through a couple other circumstances that ultimately
made me surrender. But that gift of that moment from
my guest, ruth point fiand was the the crucial moment
(41:10):
of truth in my life. And I believe Ruthie, you've
probably had that same conversation with many people about many things. Yes, yes,
and I you know, I just want to add something
that I have told you then that I said to
you listen, I am not gonna treat you any longer.
(41:33):
I can lose my time, our energy, your money. But
one thing I would never do. I would never abandon you, you,
my buddy, you, my friend. I will will remain friends,
but don't waste my time. And you know you got
your arts too straight, like so fast that it was
(41:55):
so you know, I was so happy to see you
that that wake up call, that it took place so fast,
and so by witnessing that, and I promised myself that
with anyone that I would see the patent of you know,
(42:17):
either deny or hiding themselves, I would have to do
the true call, you know, after them, because that was
my call. And I tried to always really come from
a very genuine, giving, you know, loving place sometimes and
I do also in a very playful way, but sometimes
(42:41):
it can be very harsh. And I don't really apologize
to anyone about that harshness because it's harsh for them.
They have me to call them on that, you know,
on there. I didn't want to say anything else but
on their on their boat. So you know, it feels
(43:02):
really good. It feels like, you know, that is what
friends are for. Even if you are just my client,
you know, like I I will, I consider you as
the human being. Does doesn't matter if you're my friend
or not my friend, or if we have a long
(43:22):
lesting relationship or a short one. But I always think
that tomorrow doesn't exist, especially with COVID. You know, I
like I I keep thinking, why are you waiting for
a moment like a COVID to get ready, you know,
to talk about your passing? So just get ready now.
(43:45):
You don't want any of your children or in your
family to go through help to figure it out your
password or you know, your user name to make just
give it away like who is like a in that matter?
I really trust because you know, I wanta to be
(44:06):
easier on everybody, especially when becomes to me. But people,
you know, they hesitate, they hiding everything, how much money
they have, or you know, it's obviously that's a personal thing.
But if you can leave a note with everything to
make it easier for everybody, that's what friends are for,
(44:26):
to make it life easier for each other, you know. Um,
so I'm having that experience that in my daily life,
I want to make every step of the way easier,
more pleasant. Let's laugh, Let's have fun, you know, let's exercise.
Let's just not talk about the problems, how about the
(44:49):
solutions and how about you know, the good of it.
So that's why when people talks to me about the
situation in a day to day. You know, I just
talk about the good things that I have learned from
the situation, you know, so we can you know, move
on and be more proactive and you know, have a
(45:13):
more expended, you know life. That it would teach us
to be more bonded together present, I know, and I
wish that President Biden would appoint you the Tsar of seriously,
the Tsar of mindfulness, so that we all can because
(45:34):
people learn, people learn, You can teach people. You can
actually people are going to have learned something today which
is extraordinary, which is again the gift of friendship is
that you want that. So give me in our last
you know, a few minutes, give me give us all
some suggestions. Okay, you know I I had the answer
(45:58):
before you ask me the question. But you know, I
was with a child yesterday and he was very fussy
and like you know, agitated, and I said to myself,
I bet if I put intention that I will slow
down his heart rate and calm him down. Just that thought,
(46:22):
in a blink, the child calm down and start relaxing,
And was this smiling. Last week I was with someone
who her blood pressure was high, her heart rate was
you know, speeding like out of control, and I said
(46:42):
to her, come here, I want to prove something to you.
If I have an intention of his slowing down your
heart rate, that's gonna happen. But the the reason I'm
pointing out to you, it's because I want to prove
when you have intention of something that is good, it's
gonna happen. So I put my two fingers on her heartbeat,
(47:07):
you know, on her pulse. I closed my eyes and
I just start talking to her heart. Hey heart, how
are you. Let's just slow down for a moment. You
feel so much better when you're breathing and you're in
a right pace. And immediately the heart to start the
(47:28):
boom boom, And she started laughing. And I like, I
tell you, if you have a good intention and don't
get caught or lost within yourself about para noia. You know,
paranoia is the worst breath you can take. You start thinking,
(47:51):
you know, and anticipating that this is gonna happen, that's
gonna happen. Definitely it's gonna happen. So I highly recommended
everybody to, you know, let's live in a present, you know,
let's think about a good thing that it can happen
among us, with each other or with it yourself. You know,
(48:15):
take care of your nutrition, you know they take care
of your sleep, take care of yourself in general. You know,
not get start thinking about what you're gonna do tomorrow,
that you can do this or you cannot do that. No,
think about the things you can do. That's what I
have to say. You know, it's very simple. Don't complicate it,
(48:40):
my friend, my good intention friend, Ruth point Fillan, thank
you so deeply for helping us understand it from a
much different perspective than others have shared. And I'm so
oh happy. You make me happy. Um, my friend Truth
(49:05):
pont Fion, thanks for having me for all the listeners
or the listener um, stay safe out there, God bless you,
and tune in another time. Thank you, ugly. Don't good
(49:31):
Friend is produced by Dylan Fagin and is a production
of My Heart Radio. Our theme song good Friend is written, produced,
and performed by Emily King. Don't already agative? I'm a
(49:54):
good friend. I don't already ative from a good Friend.
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