Fearless Focus, Baby Pictures & Battling BC con Jessie Marrero

In this heartfelt episode, we sit down with Jessie Marrero, the talented Dominican photographer from New York who has captured the precious moments of countless babies. Jessie takes us back to the first time she picked up a camera and discovered her passion for baby photography.  

She shares on existing Corporate America to pursue photography full time, collaborating with her idol, the legendary Anne Geddes and how she became a favorite among celebrity parents such as Kevin Hart, Ice- T, A Boogie, Adrienne Bailon and more.

But it’s not just about the highlights—Jessie gets deeply personal about her silent but very tough battle with breast cancer, how she’s balanced motherhood with her career, and that resilient spirit that’s kept her going. This episode is a celebration of art, strength, and the power of fighting your dreams despite the setbacks. 

 

Visit: Jessiemarrero.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Gracias Come Again a podcast by Honey German. Well, Honey
is serving up deep, fun and impactful combos with your
favorite artists, actors, models and influencers. Get ready for laughs, insight,
and some life gems that you won't want to miss.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
You ready to go? All right? Welcome Jesse Maretro.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Thank you so much. It's so great to be here.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I am so excited to have you here today.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
I've watched you online for so many years and I
am so impressed.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
By what you do. Can you explain to the listener
what you do exactly?

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Well, I am a photographer that specializes in maternity and
newborn sessions. My passion is newborn's so that is where
my heart is capture those beautiful moments. My clients are
as young as three days old, so it is a
lot of fun. It's just a very sweet career.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
How did this start? I need to know, like, start
from the beginning. When was the first time you photographed
a newborn or a baby?

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I would say that probably, believe it or not, about
fifteen years ago. Okay, I think I just started playing
around at home with my sister and her first baby,
and I was in the midst of working in corporate
America and not knowing how I would follow my passion,
which was photography and art. And once I was given

(01:30):
that little opportunity to have a camera in my hands
and a baby in front of me, I just started
creating and making something happen. And I tell you, I
took this baby and took flowers from my mom's vas
and just like a little piece of silk and wrapped
it around a baby and said, oh, this is so pretty.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Does that picture still exist?

Speaker 3 (01:52):
I do have some pictures, yes, I have not shared
them though, No, no, I have to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Though you're right, I got I understand it.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
Being like, you know, your first work compared to like
where you're at now, you might be like, I'll.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
Just keep that on the low, you know, but they
are important.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Oh I can imagine.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
It's like, would you consider that the beginning of your
career as a baby and newborn photographer.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
I not the beginning of my career. I think that
was just me being a little curious to see if
I can do it. But like I said, I was
in corporate for a long time, over ten years in finance, okay,
and I would just play around with my camera on
the weekends. I think what the public does not know,
many of them know, is that I started my career

(02:33):
with boudoir.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh I can see.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yeah, So I started with boudoir and I absolutely loved it,
and just working with these brides to be making albums
for their husbands and people celebrating life and divorce and
marriage and dating, and a lot of them will come
back pregnant, so it kind of just worked full circle.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Moment you're like, the boudoir photos were, girl, Yeah, it.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Were, but it was where I wanted to be. I
really really loved it. So I think that once I
picked up that camera and really focused on something that
I was more passionate about. I absolutely love the beauty
of a woman, and I felt like I was doing
a really good job reminding women that they were beautiful,
that they were worthy, that they can wear that you know,

(03:23):
fur coat with lingerie and pearls, and I kept it
very tasteful. But at the same time, I was just
really really seeking my love for newborns, just new life.
Everything about new life just fascinates me, from pregnancy to
the baby to the milestones. So I had to, you know,
navigate through that and find.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
My way, your sister's baby.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
My sister's baby started my sister's belly.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Oh you started with the belly.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
How old is the baby now?

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
She is a.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Sophomore in college. I mean this is a long time ago.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Yeah, I can imagine that you're bonded to her in
a very special way.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yes, she's a very sweet kid. So it's very nice
to know that I have those pictures of her in
the wound, you know, before she was here.

Speaker 4 (04:12):
Now, when were you able? Did you ever leave Corporate
America or do you still do both?

Speaker 3 (04:18):
I did? No, No, No, I didn't leave by choice.
I was actually I was laid off with like four
hundred people at that time. I didn't think that I
could do photography full time, and I was scared. But
it was the best thing that ever happened to me

(04:38):
because it opened an entire universe I was. It was
almost like I was forced to nurture what I love
and I never turned back.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
How scary was.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
That day when you were laid off and you're like
like where was your mind?

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Like?

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Do I go left? Do I go right? Do I
find another job?

Speaker 3 (04:57):
I was terrified. I had kids in college. I did
have like two or three things for photography, not really,
And in my mind, I'm like, no one can do
this full time. There's no way. You know, Corporate America
financed the perks for one k.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
You know, we're conditioned. Since did you give us?

Speaker 4 (05:15):
You know, so I understand where you're coming from.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
So I was just like, oh, wow, what do I
do from here? And I remember crying to my boss
and and him telling me he tried to save my job,
but there's just no way. The company's taking a split.
But you know, I grabbed the bull by the horns
and I said, no, I'm going to do what I
love and I want to feel happy because in corporate
I was always missing something.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Were you miserable? I wasn't miserable because I feel like
that's a lot of people that have a passion.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
I wouldn't use the word miserable. I would say I
was missing something. I always felt empty. I would walk
into that office, you know, I was in Times Square
for a long time, and I would just be anxious
to leave and go get on my computer and look
at pictures and think of, you know, what I can
do on the next photo shoot. So I feel like
it was just not where I wanted to be.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Wasn't your passion, It was not. It was not I
was a way to make money.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Survival, because that's what we are, survivors. So I feel
like I was given an opportunity. I did work for
an amazing company, but just wasn't where I wanted to be.
How happy are you that that happened? I am so happy.
So much has happened since. I mean, I'm seventeen years

(06:32):
in my career, and half of the things that have
happened to me, I look at them and I'm just.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Like, wow, here I am this.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
You know, Dominican, Latina, from Spanish Harlem, you know, following
her dream and and all of a sudden, all these
things start happening organically. Never got a publicist, never went
a different rounde. This is all organic. So to me,
that's just like, besides a blessing, it's just humbling. It's amazing,

(07:03):
and it just continues and continues even with different shifts
in entrepreneurship. It's just wonderful.

Speaker 4 (07:11):
Take me back to a moment where you looked around
the room and you were like, how did I end
up here?

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Oh? Wow, I'd be skipping a lot, but Okay, we're
going to go through.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
You know we're going to go through. But so I think.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
One of my highlights, my first big break in my
career was a art gallery. So I have an art
gallery at Englewood Hospital in New Jersey. Correct and thank you,
and that that's like huge for us newborn photographers to
have our work displayed in a mother ward mother baby ward.
So you have three hundred moms a month delivering and

(07:49):
looking at your work. And this hospital not only did
one floor, they ended up doing three floors. So now
I have every piece.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
With your work is my work, all of it, all
of it? Wow.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
So that was huge for me.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I think on this, so how did they find you
or who plugged you in?

Speaker 3 (08:07):
So I one of the things that I'm known for
with my friends and entrepreneurial friends and is that I
never stopped going to like expos and trade shows. And
I was anywhere that I could be that there were
human beings. I was there, and I'm like a walking billboard.
I'm constantly marketing myself. And I was in an expo.

(08:27):
I had a table with my work displayed, and someone
came to me who worked for marketing for the hospital,
and they were looking for artwork for one room. That's
how it started, okay, and she said, would you be
interested in having your work in a lama's room.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
I was like, absolutely, me my work.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
What so that turned into you know, one floor, and
then a physician saw it and wanted it.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
For their floor.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Then there was the nick you and then it just
started growing and growing. But I honestly, for me, that
was like the biggest thing that happened because from there,
the people that delivered there are now coming to me.
And that is also what opened the doors to celebrity

(09:15):
babies as well. So I didn't expect any of this
to happen. It was. It was open doors to everything,
including publications and again organically, did you want to ask me, Oh.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
No, yeah, no, for sure. I'm still taking this all in.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
You're just at a trade show and then this person
comes up to you, and then I can only imagine
three floors at a hospital.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Yeah, that's the first hospital. I now have three, all
in the Northeast. This all happened at the same time. Yes,
so again open the doors. A physician from another hospital
comes over here, decides to have a meeting in one
of the rooms. Seese my work, we should have that
in our hospital. And it just continued and continued, and

(09:59):
now I probably have about four art galleries, three hospitals,
and I have a baby high end furniture store in Promise.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Oh really, am be furniture?

Speaker 4 (10:10):
Congratulations? I love this, I really really really love this.
Now for someone who's listening to us and it's like
baby photography, can you explain a little bit like what
your photography looks like and where they can go see it?

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Like why they're listening? Where can they a website? Instagram?
Where can they see what we're talking about right now?

Speaker 3 (10:27):
Absolutely so my well, first and foremost, my website is
my name Jessemarrel dot com. And my Instagram handle is
Jesse Morel Photography. I always send people to Instagram because
there's so many behind the scenes videos there more of
an insight on my world. So it's you know, it's
exactly that moms booke me when they're pregnant, and I

(10:48):
wait for that baby to arrive and then I book
them within two weeks. They have a scheduled appointment as
young as three days up to fourteen days, and we
decide on concept. We talk about what inspires that mom colors,
props if they're organic and clean, or they want something
that's really busy or career related. So we set that

(11:10):
all up and I have it ready for that mom
when she comes in, and I have to tell you,
it's the most heartwarming experience ever. I live it every
single time with every session.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
Now, I've always heard like, oh, they have to do
it right away because the baby sleep nine nine percent
of the time at the beginning.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Tell me the logistics.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
My goal is to have them there between three and
fourteen days. It does not mean that you cannot take
pictures after that. It just becomes a little more challenging.
Babies after two weeks of age become a little more aware,
bones start to fuse, they are kind of you know,
used to a different schedule. Obviously, catching them really early
on they're still in that little newborn curl we love

(11:53):
is much easier, That's my opinion. Every photographer has a
different way of looking at it. But I try to
gear to all those two weeks because because of that.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
You know, it's crazy because the first time I saw
your type of work was when I was little. Your
icon who you're working with now, Yes, had these books
that were just absolutely. I remember it was a little
girl and I used to love these books. Now, how
did you end up blinking?

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (12:17):
You said it, and I'm like taking a deep breath
in because I collected her stuff for so long and
had her calendars on my desk. So, miss Anne Gattis,
is you know, as they say, the goats the legend
the books.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
I remember the books so vividly and I would keep
them and I'm like, this is amazing.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
It is it is, it is amazing. And I have
to say, because she was such an inspiration to me
for me to be able to now sit down with
her and work with her, and I just I meet
with her on seven Babies.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
I need the backstory? Who flow you in with?

Speaker 3 (12:50):
Okay? So we I originally went to a workshop with her.
It was like an afternoon with her talking about her work.
It's very intimate.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
I love it. Where was that at in New York City?

Speaker 3 (13:02):
Here? Yeah? It was probably about eight of us. And
then I was invited back as a special guest. And
from a special guest it turned out to be I
was invited back to work and then invited back for
dinner and.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
It just just you and her.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yes, it's myself, her and her colleague and there's another
ant there. Yeah, it was great to me. It was
just I'm sitting there with this person who you know,
eighteen years ago I stood on a line just to
meet she's Nikon. Yeah I think I flew. I flew
to Arizona just to meet her.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
You're lying, Yeah, I told her the story and now
you work with her.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
And now I'm working with her. I'm like, Okay, this
is crazy, So check bucket.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Listen, how is your imposter syndrome right now? How is that?

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (13:50):
In check?

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Because I know it's huge. I I'm good now, Like
now I kind of see, you know, the inside of
her world and how you know, hearing her speak on
how she began her career and just sitting down getting
to know her. We also did an afternoon with her
and it was all about her books and she was
talking about how she created these scenes and you know,

(14:13):
now it's just like more intimate, like, oh, this is
Anne Getty's Okay, I'm sitting with her.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
I know you're like giddy. Don't you feel like a
little girl? Just yeah, I'm here. Yeah, you're pinching yourself, right.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
I kind of I kind of died, going in and
coming out, all the things have happened to me, and
this is what drove me nuts. But I'm very excited.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
And you met her at a later stage in your
career where you were already established your name, We already
knew who you were. How much have you been able
to still take from her as far as like learning,
even though you're already as a professional in the field.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah, so, you know, every photographer has a different way
of working. But I have to say I absolutely love
seeing her create. Her creativity is exactly the same from
day one. The person that I studied, the person whose
books I read, it is the same person. So to
see her so passionate about her career still to this
day is amazing. And she's you know, a big deal

(15:11):
published and five million things. So no, no, I feel
like we're always going to learn from one another. There's
no doubt that, especially studying with her.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
Would you have ever in your life imagined you would
be working with her.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Never?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
I tell you, as close as I got was Arizona,
and I was on a line of like three hundred people,
and I remember being standing in front of her thinking,
oh my god, I'm standing in front of you, and
now I'm just like, well, let me hold this baby
for you. And I was just like, whow Absolutely, yes,
it's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
Now I know that you've worked with celebrities. Who was
your first celebrity client?

Speaker 3 (16:06):
So I'll take you back to a milestone. After a hospital. Yeah,
after the hospital, I talked to me, do you want
me to skip or go back?

Speaker 2 (16:17):
We can go back and forth. You don't have to
go in crinolize order. You know what I'm saying. After
the hospital, what happened? So as the hospital take you?

Speaker 3 (16:23):
Okay, So after the hospital that was August twenty twelve,
And while that was so fantastic and opened so many
doors for me, that was actually a time where little
did I know was going to come to a halt
because I was also diagnosed with breast cancer the same
month my gallery went up. So here I am. I
have this work going up, I have all these people calling,

(16:47):
but I'm sitting in the cancer center having a double
mess eectomy. So talk about life's challenges.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
I can only imagine how overwhelmed you are. It was,
you know it.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
I kind of went into a weird shock at that
moment because I didn't understand. I even questioned, like Faith,
I'm like, okay, God, what are you doing, Like You're
giving me this opportunity, but I'm going to shut you
down at the same time. So it was it was
pretty scary. I watched my mom. You know, my mom
is a survivor, and she is a breast cancer survivor,

(17:18):
breast cancer survivor, and I watched her, you know, fight
breast cancer, go to chemo, and go to work. She's
also an entrepreneur. So I watched this years ago, but
never thought I would be in the same shoe. Yes,
And I just I was like, okay, you know what
I learned from the beast.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
How old were you when your mom was battling cancer.
Were you a teenager? Were you an adult?

Speaker 3 (17:42):
I was an adult? Okay, yeah. And I after seeing
her and seeing her still run her successful business, I said,
I have to do this, like I have to pick
up the pieces. I have three little girls looking at me,
or rather adult children looking at me, and you know,
I'm sure they were scared at that moment. At the
same time, I'm so excited my work is up at

(18:04):
the hospital. But I'm trying to like navigate through all
these emotions and you know, Balante, I had to go
have a bilateralmasectomy, have treatment, you know, went through the
having no breasts, you know, for seven months, and making
sure that I could accept this in a way that
was going to motivate me to move, you know, keep moving.

Speaker 4 (18:26):
How hard was that because you know, as someone who
has experienced medical trauma, it can be very demoralizing.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
You lose hope, you question God a lot, a lot.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
How did you even find the strength to say, I'm
still going to move forward? Because sometimes we want to
give up and we're like, you know what, life is
shit right now, I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
I'm just quit.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
I have to say, everything that you just said was
a spot on. I went through moments where I kept
a journal and I remember crying for forty seven days
straight and I wrote it down every day and I
would look out this exact window in my house. It
was the same window, and I would sit there every
day and just write it, and I would wonder.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
What would you write like I cried today.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
I would say, here I go again. I was just
like talking to God, I'm like, here I go again.
I'm still here? Like why, Like I don't understand what
I'm supposed to do from.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
This point, what is the purpose?

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah, like, I don't get it. So here I am
with this opportunity for my bed. I kept saying everything
was back to the business. I'm like, I have this
great opportunity, and now you want me to, you know,
stop everything and go into this hospital. And I have
no choice. You know. I was told I had to
remove my breast, so I was like, wow, what how
do I do this? And just something came over me

(19:46):
and after like a month, I said, I know what
I need to do. I need to throw a party.
I was like, I need a party. Everyone knows Jesse
for her parties, and I said, I'm throwing a party,
and you know what, this is going to be my
primasectomy party. And that was something that helped me kind
of just see all my friends and family and hear,

(20:08):
you know, motivational thing and how much I was loved
and how much people cared at that particular moment, like wow,
this is one of us, this could be one of us.
And I was surprisingly okay up until that moment. I
had my surgery October fifth, which was Breast cancer Awareness month.

(20:29):
So now I'm going into this hospital, which I'll take
you back. Ends up being the same hospital that put
up my work, So the same hospital that saved my
life saved my career as well. Look at that, I
know it was pretty crazy. Like sometimes I think about
it and I'm like, wow, I was so upset at
one point, not at the hospital, but at the way

(20:51):
it happened. But here I am in another wing of
the hospital getting this surgery, this life changing surgery, and
my work is up over here, and I have nurses
coming to me telling me, well, we just saw your work.

Speaker 4 (21:05):
How happy did them because just like a little sprinkle
of like happiness.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Yeah, it helped a lot. It was it was like,
oh wow, yeah that is me. You know what I
have work to do after this. And I just picked
up the pieces and kept moving. And then you know,
fast forward, I decided I need a commercial space. I'm
going to do it. So everything happened during my cancer journey,

(21:32):
everything that has happened after that. So I was going
to the studio with drains and tubes and going for
treatment and going for MRIs and no one knew because
I didn't share it. I did not want to share it.
I felt for a minute there that I didn't know
if parents will feel comfortable at that time with someone

(21:53):
going through this, because I'm I'm overthinking of great, what
are they thinking? Maybe I'm not strong enough to hold
their baby, or I'm not creative enough, or I've lost it?
You know.

Speaker 4 (22:05):
Yeah, you start to view your medical situation as kind
of like a limitation or a handicap, even though it
is not.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
You you know, just.

Speaker 4 (22:14):
Make it so much bigger than it really is, and
then you start second guessing yourself. Your self esteem is touched,
you know. So it's a lot of different things.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah, a lot of different emotions there.

Speaker 4 (22:25):
Did you need to see a therapist or were you
able to sort these emotions out through on your own?

Speaker 3 (22:29):
I did not go see a therapist, but I did
join a couple of forums and breast cancer groups, so
that I did do that is a form of therapy,
it is. And then I just put it kind of
like out to the world. I wanted everyone to know.
I wanted to become a testimony for so many I started,

(22:49):
not that I didn't recognize it before, but a lot
of my clients were breast cancer survivors having a baby,
So now I could almost feel what they're feeling and
I could relate to it and I could just provide
comfort in a different way. And then I became super
proud to share my story.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
How liberating was it? That's it that you put it
out there.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
It was the best thing. I started doing the walks
and fundraisers and gallas.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
You were like free, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
It was just like a great feeling, and now I
felt good saying well, I don't have brass. I was like,
and it doesn't matter. They're overrated. I don't care, you know.
And I felt like, all right, I'm just gonna wait
for the next surgery and I'm gonna keep moving. And
I opened up my first commercial space through a big party,
and it was just like again, Palante, let's do this.

(23:38):
You know, we're gonna make this happen. And you just
asked me a question. My very first client in my
commercial space was Emily B and fab Oh yah, they
opened they opened my doors. So yeah, a lot of
people don't know that, but there were my very first
commercial space clients. I had already been shooting for seven years,
but in my commercial space that was in first.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
How did they find you?

Speaker 3 (24:01):
Like?

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Who put Emily onto Jesse?

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Emily delivered at Englewood Hospital and she saw the pictures. Yeah,
Emily delivered there and and that was amazing, super sweet.
I love her. And after that we shot again Baby
Journey and that was amazing. I got to do Newborn
and Milestone and then shortly after that, cocoa and iced

(24:24):
tea were delivered at Englewood Hospital. This is what I mean.
The hospital was New Jersey.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
You are stuck in or wherever, but I see, I.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
See Coco deliver Yep, they have baby Chanel. And I
get a phone call from Coco and I remember, this
is a funny story.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I remember hospital giving people your information how or how
it's up. It's up on a plaque. Girl, she listened to.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
All my information is up everywhere. And yes they were
giving out these brochures. But they don't have to because
my work is up there and most of the st
I would say ninety percent of them they kind of
know me, and a lot of them are my clients.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
No wonder, you don't need br and marketing and promotion.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
And yeah, but I think I think it's again. You know,
once they get to know your work, people come in
and they're like, oh, I think I know this girl.
But my name is in the hallway on a little plaque.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Now I want to go over there and peep.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
It's super cute. It's super cute.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
But yes, I see in Coco call me. Okay.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
I get a call from Coco. And I remember being
at my desk. I was editing, and I had my phone.
This is so funny. I had my phone turned up
and I just did like speaker and my youngest daughter,
who you've met, My youngest daughter was with me. I
don't know it's her, So I just press play and
I continue to edit, and then I hear, hi, Jesse,
my name is Coco, and I had a baby, and

(25:47):
I'm like, hold on a second. So I remember my
daughter looking at me because she used to watch the
show I send Coco. We don't know anyone named Coco.
So I played it again and I said, oh, vicemail.
It was a voicemail, and I.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Said, oh, it's icy and Coco. How cool is that?

Speaker 5 (26:09):
Coco?

Speaker 2 (26:10):
Coco?

Speaker 3 (26:11):
But and and I just I was just at a
networking event and I said this story because a lot
of people don't realize, you know, sometimes it's just like
this one person, this one opportunity that just opens all
these doors again my favorite word. Organically, you don't even
know it's happening. But when Ice and Coco came with

(26:31):
Baby Chanel when she was born, Coco's like, very very
big on marketing, and you know, her social media platforms
are healthy and she's constantly posting and her people constantly posting.
So here I am doing this newborn session and I'm
on her live and I hadn't been on anyone's life,
so I'm nervous. I'm doing this shoot. And then a

(26:53):
month later, she's like, well, we have to do another shoot,
and by the way, E News is coming, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
Like, who to recurse?

Speaker 3 (27:00):
Well, I've been watching them forever, so I'm like me
and and I remember her saying yeah, and they're going
to be there in two hours. So that's our ongoing
joke that she gave me two hours to set up
for E News yea.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
To be on TV, to be on TV. So so
you had to do the shoot all over?

Speaker 3 (27:16):
I get no, no, no, I literally just I was
already on my way to the studio, so I just
kind of like tidied up and spoke to the producer
and then it was Baby Chanelle again, and I end up,
you know, being her photographer of choice forever. For these
last eight years, I've done every milestone I saw you
just shot her recently, right, yeah, every milestone. She's huge,

(27:39):
She's so sweet.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Coco had no parts in creating that baby. That baby
is hell father.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
That is a carbon copy of Ice. It's it is
very funny to see now that's just carbon copy. I
think they've all established and agreed with that gorgeous. She's beautiful.
It's very sweet. But I love, you know, working with
her because I've had her since, you know, nine days old.
That's one of your babies, and she's one of my babies,

(28:06):
and she knows me, and I have to tell you
I put her in front of the camera and I
don't have to tell her things she takes over. I
have videos of her that you would think. She's like
this teenager on a runway. Like She's just amazing, amazing
to work with. So that has been quite the journey.
But she's really done a lot for me from a
marketing perspective without even wanting to or meaning to. It

(28:29):
was just the love for her child. But I'm right
there and I'm getting credited and.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
Your work speaks value. Like when you see your work,
it's just like it just it's endearing. It just feels good.
It just makes you feel good. And it's like there
are millions of photographers all over the world, but to
actually evoke like a certain emotion, Like sometimes I go
to your page just when I want to feel good
because of the work that you do. Care it's just
so wholesome and just you just feel like you just

(28:55):
love these kids, like it's not a job for you.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
It is not. I hear that a lot, especially with
parents that are actually there watching me. And sometimes I'll
hear them as I'm working. I'll hear them whispering like
she really loves her job, you know, telling their spouse,
and I'll kind of pieck over and say, yes, I do,
but I really do it really is. It's never been work,
I would be honest. What is work? Is running a business?

(29:21):
The administrative side of it scary, you know, it's I'm
a one man show.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
I was just gonna say, who helps you run the business?

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Now, I've been working alone for seventeen years. You keep
all the money, I guess, But I run the show.
I run the social media platforms, I do the interviews.
I'm doing the I come in and I clean my
studio and I put together the scenes.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
And said, I your goal.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
Yeah, I do everything. So I'm sales, I'm the photographer,
I'm the editor, I'm the creator.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
How overwhelmed do you feel? Do some days you think
like I need to hire people?

Speaker 2 (30:14):
I do.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Sometimes I say it to myself like I really should
have had because I want to say past tense, I
should have had someone here study. But then I really
love to do this by myself. I'm telling you, I
am my mother. My mother's been working alone forever and
it's something that I saw and learned. It doesn't mean
it's the right thing to do, but it's how I'm built.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
I just I'm kind of like the same way.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
It's just like when you work alone, you know what
you want, you don't have to explain it, and you
get it done. Nobody is in the way. You know,
Like I have had probably like thirty interns, and while
I've loved teaching and mentoring, it always slowed me down right.
And when I was mentoring, half my day, half my
work day did not get done. It was mentoring and teaching.

(31:01):
So I can see how you can probably be like,
if I work alone, I just get everything done and
I get it done.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Right right, and you're tired and you know your brain
is working twenty four hours a day. But for me,
I kind of felt like, and this is the honest truth.
People are bringing their babies to me right they're three,
four or five days old. I can't see myself placing
that baby in anyone's hands but mine. That's the first thing.
So if I have someone helping me, which I have

(31:28):
had here and there, a friend help me, I still,
even with a good friend there, would not place that
baby in their hands. So I'm still doing all the
work that part works yours forever forever. Like I can't
do it. I feel like there's just no way. It's
just the liability, the care, the nurture, the love. They're
not going to do exactly what I want in my eyes,

(31:49):
right doesn't mean that they don't know how to, but
in my eyes, for my business, I want that parent
to walk in and feel the love the entire session,
and only I can do that. I'm the one who
the brand in my studio, and that's just the way
it is. Have I had I've taken my daughter's on
shoots and they're amazing, but this is not their niche,
this is not what they do.

Speaker 4 (32:09):
I was just gonna ask, does anybody want to take
over the business eventually or no?

Speaker 3 (32:15):
Everyone has a different career yep. So my oldest daughter
is a high school teacher, she's an education My middle
one is a very successful professional organizer and I'll give
you her page. She's she's a big deal right now.
And my youngest is a senior at Penn.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
State and beautiful.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
Yes, and she'll be working with athletes one day soon.
So yes, it's completely different career paths. So do I
feel that they admire it and they love and watching me,
you know from day one? Absolutely, but this is not
for them. They've had fun though on the shoe.

Speaker 4 (32:52):
I can't imagine that's perks, you know, I can only
imagine does it? Does it make you sad to think
that one day, you know, it will cease to exist
if someone doesn't take it over for you.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
It does make me very sad. I have thought about that,
but I've also thought that I have to make sure
that that doesn't happen and maybe land in the hands
of somebody who wants to pursue or wants to follow
or carry the name with them in some other way.
So that that's something I'm working on now at my age.

Speaker 4 (33:25):
Listen, you were just working with your idle which is
much older. So you know your career you can work
into what into like your eighties, you can work it.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Oh yeah, I mean especially with this, so definitely, I
feel like there's a room you're.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
Going to be working forever.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
You know.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
This has to do with with your talent, with your soul,
with your spirit, with your connections. You know, it doesn't
have to do with looks, because that is one of
the reasons why you know, a lot of careers sometimes
like let's say a model, it's like I no longer
model or an actress. I no longer you don't say
so for you, it's like even for me working in media,
working in radio, sometimes I'm like, am I eventually going

(34:05):
to age out?

Speaker 2 (34:07):
But you can work to the last aid.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
As long as you can hold those babies and hold
that camera, You're gonna be eating and blessing us with
those beautiful photographs.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
I'm excited for you.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
I do feel that it has to do with yourself
and passion and what you love, so you my dear
as well, So this goes for both of us.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
Now, what else would you like to share? I know
that you photographed I'm Kevin Hart's baby. I can't forget
about that because I was so happy for yes, say yeah,
how did that come out?

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Well? I have a list of different ones, but I
have to say a Nico found me on social media,
so and I can't remember exactly where the connection was,
but we did exchange direct message, and I was floored
with this one because I had already been going to
Hollywood to other babies. I had worked with cal Mitchell,

(35:03):
I had worked with Angela Simmons, Massy Arias baby. Yeah.
So I've had Baby Indy Header when she was born,
and then I had her far Milestone. So there were
already a few people that I would fly out to
Cali for.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
So do they fly you out or do you spend
time there? Okay, they fly you out.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, And then what I do is sometimes if I
have a California based shoot, I'll connect with my other
clients or see who's who's just delivered, or see if
there's somebody else. But ironically, these things all happen at
the same time. But yes, I got to work with
the Hearts twice already, and it's pretty cool because Anico
still talks to me and she's just the sweetest thing.

(35:43):
And being at their home and having tea with them
and you know, all this it was it was amazing.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
How was Kevin? Did he let you work or he
just had you dial?

Speaker 3 (35:52):
So they I have to say his her family was there,
his cousin was there. Very sweet people. I tell everyone
that's because I get asked this all the time. Once
I come into their lives at a very soft, nurturing,
special milestone time in their life. Right, I'm not paparazzi,

(36:14):
I'm not the media. I'm not out there looking for
anything other than capturing that beautiful moment of their baby.
So I am in their space at a very gentle time.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
Super vulnerable and especially and they haven't shared their baby
with the world.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
Right and and I feel, besides being honored, just humbled
that people of that statua would kind of like agree
to that trust you. But there's a reason they trust
me with their babies. So when I'm with them, it's
all about providing that really sweet common environment and it's
almost like family. I have to tell it's so so

(36:49):
different from what we see in the media. It's the
same thing with cocoa and ice. It's like family. I mean,
they took me on vacation with them. It's it's where'd
you go? We become went to the Bahamas today. Yeah,
it was pretty cool. So I feel like it's just
what you just to hang out, no hang out, So
that was cool. And again it's just, uh, you come

(37:11):
in at this time. My job is very different. It's
very intimate and very private. You know. Moms have just delivered,
they're nursing, they're sleep deprived, and they know that when
I walk out that door, nothing is leaving me, you know,
except this until they tell me, hey, you can share
the images now.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
But I have.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
I have so many beautiful stories with so many great
families that we all know, and they're on my page. Everyone.
It's just so many people.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
What does your suitcase look like when you're traveling to
Hollywood to shoot a baby?

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Do you bring stuff? Or it is painful? It is painful.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
I have to take talk to me, I have to
take about two full, you know, large suitcases and everything
from baby outfits to uh soothing machines. My my equipment,
my lighting, my camera. But recently, in the last couple
of years, I started connecting with photographers in other states

(38:12):
so that I could borrow hard props from them, so
like a baby bed or a bucket. I don't have
to travel with that. So I do have people in
California that I will bring with me and will help
me with that I have. I just worked in Miami
a couple of weeks ago. Anybody, Yeah, it was just
published Javante and Vanessa's baby cute. I just did the

(38:38):
second baby for them, and and again have a photographer
in Miami that helped me out with all the equipment
and stuff.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
So you're building your connections, like so whatever you shoot,
you so that you don't have to take all I
don't have to take.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
All that stuff. The most important is my personal equipment
and my camera, but everything else is just you know,
hard to travel with. So I go ahead and I,
you know, connect with these photographers who are fabulous because
to me, we're all a community and we should be
able to help one another when it comes to that.
If they came to New Jersey, I'd be right there

(39:12):
when my.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Doors are ready to facilitate. Absolutely it can use my studio.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
I mean, it's just it's a it's a no.

Speaker 4 (39:18):
Brainer, and it is all about community, you know what
I'm saying, especially if you're in the same space. You know,
if there are also baby photographers, you know what I'm saying,
it's like, why not, you know, maximize like them.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
We can all eat, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (39:32):
And sometimes some careers tend to have that competitive nature.
But I'm glad that you've been able to find, you know,
like your core group and community, so.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
That absolutely that's the way it should be. I mean,
if there's babies being born every second.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Listen, you're gonna work forever, you forever.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Listen, We're gonna be okay exactly.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Now, are you self taught?

Speaker 4 (39:53):
Like how did you learn how to shoot and how
to handle a professional camera? Because you know, we can
all take pictures on our cell phones.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
No brainer?

Speaker 4 (40:00):
But what you're doing here, this lighting, this background? Who
taught you all this?

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Myself? I am self taught trial and error. I have
to say, I just threw myself to the sharks.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
I was what was your first camera?

Speaker 3 (40:16):
A Sony okay and a Sony SLR was my first one,
And I have to tell you. I walked around with
this black sheet and told everyone to stand in front
of it. I'm like, stand right there, I'm going to
take this picture and I'm going to use this window.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
And how old were you? We're a teenager in your twenties.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
No, I would say I was already in my thirties.
Oh really yeah, And I just started playing around with it.
And it was weird because I almost like knew it
was incorrect lighting. But for me, it was the best
because I did it, so I started believing in it,
and just you know, lots of YouTube. I would go
to seminars, go to expos, meet different speakers that had

(40:55):
to do with Cannon and Sony and Nikon and see
which way I wanted to go. But I am self
taught everything.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
When you were Chika, did you like pictures? Did you
like taking pictures? Did you like being a pictures? Like?

Speaker 2 (41:08):
Where when did this first first start?

Speaker 3 (41:12):
Yes? I remember being a teenager and I was the
annoying little cousin with a little film camera, the little
one ten cameras giving away my age, but so are yes.
So I was the one going into every party or
asking my mom, I want one of those little disposable cameras.
So my passion for photography was always there. But I

(41:35):
have an artistic background too, So what is it I
love or I love to draw. So I spent like
eight years just drawing. I would walk around with this
little black book, the sketch book.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Yeah, what would you sketch?

Speaker 3 (41:49):
Anything and everything like a person, a person, buildings, a lake,
and I'll create things off the top of my head.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
I want to say some stuff. It's the same.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
I know. It's just so crazy. So I think that
my career kind of it stems from the love for
art and newborns and just kind of combining that because
I was very passionate about that. At one point in
my life, I thought I was going to be an artist.
And I remember making painting, a few T shirts, and
I mean I was just trying everything.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
And this is all here like New York, New Jersey.
This was both.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
This was New York, not New Jersey yet New York
and Dominican Republic. I remember lived there. I was there
every single summer.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Amen talk to me, No, Mommy used to send you
to the mother.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
My mother. No, my mother would send me. I always
make this joke.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
School was over.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
June twenty first, June twenty second. So I would go
with my grandmother. My grandma was over there, and I
would go La Capitan and I would hang out with
my cousins. And I was sitting outside the house with
a sketch pad and making these little dolls and drawing
the dresses. I remember, Claro and I was and I

(43:04):
was doing little like galla gowns. I remember doing all
this like extravagant stuff and giving this fancy here and
my cousin going, my god, you so well, so you
know it was it was. It was so funny to
see like that evolve into the passion with photography and

(43:25):
then kind of just combined later on because now it's
almost like I'm doing the same thing but in a
different way. You know, I'm creating art with newborns, with
new life.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
How proud is your mom of what you do?

Speaker 3 (43:38):
She is very proud. She is my biggest cheerleader. Yeah,
she is so sweet about it. You know, my mom
was the one who started crocheting little hats for me
when I started my career. Really yeah, I was, you know,
starting a new business, couldn't really buy props. And my
mom is also super talented, and she did it as

(43:58):
a hobby and she started making me little hats and
she said, you know, put this on a baby. I'm like, Mom,
can you make one in pink? Can you make one away?
Can you? I'm so And you know what we did.
We started going into outfits and it was just amazing.
I said, wow, Mom, this is great and I don't
have to buy this perfect. So she did have a

(44:21):
huge part to do with a lot of those images
and she loves that. So she's very proud, very proud
to see where I am today and the fact that
we're both survivors, like we both kind of you know,
share a lot in common.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
I want to bring you back. How did you realize
something was wrong that you had to go to the
doctor or you know that you might have been affected
by cancer? So like, you know, a lot of the times,
you know us women, it's like, you know, we skip mammograms.
You know, we don't check. We're like, it's fine, it's okay.
What triggered you to think something was wrong? For anyone listening, Well,

(44:55):
this is probably the first time I'll go fully public
with this.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
So I did not have a lump. I did not
have a tumor. I had nothing like that. I actually
found blood in my bra yep. So I was celebrating
my fortieth birthday and I had a dress on and
I remember finding, you know, bloody discharge. And for some reason,

(45:21):
right after my party, I remember saying to myself, this
is not good. Yeah, my fortieth and I remember saying,
this is not good. Something is wrong because you should
not be discharging any kind of blood. And I did
something crazy. I kept it a secret for seven months.

(45:51):
I didn't see a doctor. I did not tell anyone
because I was so scared. I did not want to
face it. And I had dinner with a friend and
she she asked me. She said, you look like you're
you have a lot on your mind. And I said,
you know, I have to tell you something X, Y
and Z is happening. And I remember her slamming her

(46:14):
fists on the table and she said muchacha. I asked
my father and I said, no, but I can't because
I know something's wrong. You don't want to face I
did not want to face it. I was like, no, no, no, no,
I I can't. But you know what, After that, I
did wait, and this is an honest truth. Seven months
but once I went to see my doctor, I went

(46:36):
to my mother's oncologist. I went to the same team
and I had no choice. It was there full breast cancer.
Had to remove my breast.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
And immediately they told you, liked.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Two months, I only had two months to get everything done,
nipples bearing, nothing straight, everything off like it just had
to be eradicate, it had to everything. And I, like
I said, I went through all these different emotions and
different things, but that is what started it. So I
do tell everyone now, like, don't take anything for granted.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
With your brass.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
You must, you know, feel on the first is a
big thing. You know, first of the month, Feel those braus,
feel what's going on. Don't be afraid to become an
advocate for yourself and ask questions if you feel anything
is out of place or even if there's you know,
some kind of asymmetry thing going on, anything, because that
is something that I never thought would come in my

(47:32):
you know, my world, and here it is. So but
I have to say, I'm, you know, twelve surgeries in
and buy so many surgeries. I had so many different complications.
But I and this sounds really crazy, but again I'm
going to say I've already had three mes aectomies. I've
had to have full aseectomy a couple of times because

(47:56):
things went wrong. And I'm here. I'm here doing this
interview with you, and I am.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
So God wanted you here.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
I am so proud, happy, humbled, blessed, grateful. God always
has a plan. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but I'm
here and that comes with a lot of, you know,
other things. My friends always say I have a rap
sheet when it comes to my health. You know, I'm
also a lupus survivor, was diagnosed with lupus and twenty

(48:25):
four years ago, and so I already had a challenging
bit of health going on. So I was very compromising
to be diagnosed with breast cancer on top of having
an auto immune disease. So yeah, pretty challenging.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
How do you maintain your faith? Because for me, it's
kind of hard. You know, when you're going, when you're
a good person and you're faced with these type of challenges,
it's hard.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
It's like, God, where are you? Why me?

Speaker 3 (48:54):
Yes, I have said that many times, but I also feel,
you know, like that that saying says God gives those
challenges right to the strongest warriors. I know, I know that,
I know, but I have to like put that in
my head. I'm like, there's a reason why all of
this happens, and there's a reason why I get to

(49:17):
work with so many beautiful families, and there's a reason
why I'm sitting here today and I was able, you know,
to have a beautiful family, and I have this wonderful grandson,
and there's a reason why I'm still here to enjoy
all of that. So that is what keeps me going.
Is it difficult? Very? Do I question it? Yes? Am

(49:39):
I tired? Yes, I feel like I have frequent flyer
miles at the hospital, like I don't want to go
back anymore. So this is actually the longest break knock
on wood, that I haven't been hospitalized. But you know,
I've had small challenges here and there, so I got
I know, biggest, but I know they come, and so I.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
Just you know what I do.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
I focus on this, I focus on my purpose. I
focus on what I love, my passion, and I try
to think of a different way to keep my head
up and just you know, be happy.

Speaker 4 (50:16):
You're doing an amazing, amazing, amazing job. You know, it's
just the energy you project and you know how you
just push through, move forward and don't close off because
you know some people like I can't do this, I
give up.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
I just can't do this.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
Like your mental fortitude and your resilience as far as
like your spirit and you know, your ability to continue
to push through.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
I don't see it often.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
I see a lot of people that just want to
give up.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
And you're seeing this happen, so that this can happen
and this you know, like you're seeing all the positive
in it. And it's so hard because I feel like
ninety percent of our thoughts are negative.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
They are, and I feel like a post COVID we've
been faced with so many different challenges and it's affected
everyone's small business people, personal your friend's family. So it
is hard. I'm not going to say I don't have
bad days. Of course I do, and I do have
those moments. And sometimes it takes like you just told me,
are a good friend or someone to say, hey, wait

(51:15):
a minute, are you forgetting what you went through? You know,
I had someone tell me the other day you were
laying on a bed not knowing if you were going
to live or die, and you're here complaining about the traffic,
you know whatever it is, or bills, and I'm just like, okay,
you're right, but you know that part is difficult.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
It's hard.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
It's hard to it's hard to be a woman, right,
It's hard to be an entrepreneur, it's hard to be
a parent. So I feel like we have to do that.
If I don't do this, I will collapse. I have
to look at the other side. I have to keep moving.
I have to know understand what my purpose is and
continue to nurture them.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
And you're doing an absolutely.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
Amazing Thank you, Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
I want to talk to you about confidence because you
are listening to us right now, but you don't understand
what I'm looking. I am looking at one of the
most beautiful women ever, hair, gorgeous body, tea outfit, just
you know everything. It's just like when you had to have,
you know, your masseectomy. How did that affect your confidence?
And how did you get to where you are now?

(52:21):
You know, the sure is low cut. I see some
good set of boobs under there. How would you get
here today? Because I wake up some things and I'm like,
I look like trash, I look horrible, So I can
only imagine having to lose both of your breasts, which
for some of us women is very much about you know,
our persona, who we are, our sensuality, our sexiness.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
How did you feel and how did you get to
where you are today?

Speaker 3 (52:47):
Well, prior to the masectomy, I definitely was very confident.
I've always been very confident. I wouldn't say cocky, I
would say confident. I loved it's different. I loved it's
a big difference. I loved, you know, going to a
barbecue and a dress that and everyone's in jeans, and
I was just like, I want to get dressed up,
like yeah, like a love that stuff. Yeah. And everyone

(53:09):
would be like, oh boy, here she comes la thing.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
You know us we like to hello. Yeah, I don't know,
I am LaSala. We got to look.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
We have to be dressed up. So I did have
that confidence prior. Did it get shut down with the misoctomy. Yes,
of course for a bit. I went through those seven
months where I didn't have breast I had this weird
thing going on in my brain. A lot of breast
cancer pations go through. I almost felt like people knew
that my breasts were missing and I had a zip

(53:39):
up jacket.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Oh, when you would go place.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
I would go place this. So if I was in
the supermarket, I would say that woman knows that I.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Don't have light syndrome.

Speaker 3 (53:46):
It was so bad, and of course no one knew, right,
nobody knows. But here I'm like, oh my god, I'm
never going to be myself again, and how do I
fix this? And I remember sitting with the oncologists and saying,
you need to give me breasts, like right away, because
I have got all these dresses I need to wear
like I need boos. So this is so crazy. My

(54:12):
very first set of implants after cancer, which is very
different from just getting cosmetic surgery, very different. The whole
process was different.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Your skin has to like be prepped gas.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
I had to get expanders and have to stretch my skin.
I also, I am sitting in a room picking implants
but crying. I'm dying inside.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
It's not a moment of no, that's not it.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
No, no, no, this is different. I'm sitting there like sweating,
I'm nervous, I'm crying, and then I'm smiling, and then
I'm trying to take pictures for the GRAM and I'm
trying to be all these different piece I know, I
don't even know where I got the strength from. And
I remember having a wonder Woman T shirt on that
first day when I went to pick the implants and

(54:59):
I was like, I got this. I'm gonna do this,
and again navigating through all these emotions, and then comes
my surgery.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Fast forward.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
I get the first implants and I'm like, wow.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Okay, I love that.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
I said, wait a minute, the world needs to these
are good. Yeah, so I'm like, okay, back to being
twenty again. I said, well, this is wonderful, so positive.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
I was like, cancer is great to.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Me, so so it was pretty funny.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
I think.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
To answer your question, I think confidence came after that,
after that reconstruction. Then I started feeling a little bit
like myself. But you know what, internally, I was still fighting.
I was still sad. I was still looking at those scars.
I was still looking in the mirror after the shower
and wondering, oh wow, this is my new body. This

(55:52):
is who I have to be from this point on,
and nothing is this is it, Like this is who
I am, or that I had these beautiful implants. It
was just I'm not me anymore. So now I have
to find myself how it's unew me. So I had
to find myself and then I didn't know you know
that just like after those implants. Nine months later, I'm

(56:15):
back in the cancer center getting that taken off. And
it was just one thing after another. So it was
pretty challenging to stay confident and stay like feeling so
pretty when you're always in a hospital gown.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
So did I do it?

Speaker 3 (56:30):
Yes? I can show you pictures that you wouldn't even believe.
I remember making like a gala gown out of my
hospital gown. I made it look pretty. I would bring
lipstick and do whatever. But no, it wasn't easy. But
the only reason I kept going is because I think
that's who I was prior and I had to dig
deep and find that again.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
Do you feel like, because you know, I think with
me what I went through. I just kept saying, I
just want to be me again. I just want to
be me. And do you feel like you ever went
back to being you or did you have to just
create a new you.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
A new me? The reality is it's a new me.
I there's there's I will never be that person. I
think I'm better.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Oh, I was just gonna ask you, do you mourning?

Speaker 3 (57:12):
I think I'm better. I think I'm I think I'm
a better person. I feel better the different challenges that
I have physically, I've come to terms with. I. I
know that that's what you know. My brest are going
to look like. I accept them. I love to wear dresses,
I love to wear sexy.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Haven't wore a bra in years, lucky.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
Like I love that part. I don't even know what
a bro looks like. But I no more bras. But
but I do. I do feel it is a new
and improved version of me. I mean, without those challenges
in my life.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Jesse Morrero two point zero. Hello, we're here. We're here.

Speaker 4 (57:55):
But you know what they say, without a great test
there cannot be a great testimony exactly. And what we
have discussed here today has been nothing short of inspiring.
And I feel like I have a lot of catching.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
Up to do.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
Yeah, because I complain a lot. And you know, I
don't see it as like a rebirth. I see I'm
still stuck at I want to be who I used
to be. And now that I've spoken to you and
you're just telling me like, I'm so much happier now,
with who I've become. It puts a lot into perspective
for me that it's just like stop being stuck on
who you used to be and kind of like get
to know who you are now after the trauma, after

(58:31):
you know, whatever tragedies or whatever it is, everything that
we've gone through, you put a lot into perspective for
me today.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
You know you have to move forward.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
It's good to hear that, because we have to. This
is a new version of you, This is a new
version of me. And you know, this is like the
second half of our lives, and we have to take
it for what it is and just be a better
person and do bigger things, and do things that help
us have peace and love and you know all of
those things that come with that. We wouldn't be who

(59:01):
we are right without that.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
That's true.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
It's like a tapestry of moments that created you know,
who we are. But I am so happy you know
you came through, you sat down with me. I want
you to continue to make the world a better place.
Keep making our timelines nice and.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Sweet and fussy.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
I will, I promise.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
When I wake up and I see those babies, I'm like, yes,
new baby, I'd be like, oh my god, this one
looks like a little man.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
Little hats.

Speaker 4 (59:26):
Yeah. So you know, it's so cute what you do,
but it's also so important and it's an occupation that
is never going to cease to exist because new babies
are being born.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Every single day, exactly.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
And I want to thank you today for sitting down,
you know, and sharing your journey, sharing your story. And
I'm sure we're going to sit down again later on.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
I thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
I feel like there is so much more that's going
to happen for you that I'm gonna have to have.
Jesse Morrero two point oh the interview.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Oh, I love that. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
It's been wonderful sitting here talking to you and seeing
you again. So I really appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Grassiers Coming Again and somebody

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Yeah, Grassiers Come Again is a production of Honey German
Productions in partnership with Iheart's podcast network mm hmm