La Fama, Love Lost 🕊️, Young Grandma & Surviving It All Con Dascha Polanco

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Gracias Come Again, a podcast by Honey Germany. Then that
Dasha Polanco to Gracias Come Again.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
You're welcome. I will be back.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Oh my god, you're.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Already promising to come back.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Today.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
It just feels extra special because this is our last
episode of the season. Ah, this is episode number thirty five.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
You did thirty five episodes, thirty five interviews forget thirty
five episodes, thirty five interviews. Wow, that's amazing, honey, congratulation.
And we were moving this around and I'm like, you
know what, let's move it around.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah, because you know what, I want to make her
the last episode because.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
I'm so comfortable with you, and I feel like it's.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Just gonna be like, you know, kind of like hanging out, like,
Oh I did it.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
I made it. No pressure, no pressure. I see therein.
I love this color on you, color waste.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
So you see Dominigan color West. My mother says that
West just a bone colored shirt. Okay, problem whatever you say.
You were born in Santo Domino.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yes, I was born in the Dominican Republic. But do
you have the mark on your arm when Okay, you're
probably too young for that mark. That's what it is.
Because intro last ship, when did you come? How old

(01:43):
are your baby? I was like four years old. Yes,
itated on Brooklyn and Brooklyn Apple to see that, to
Apple to see that, to clar Jokai actually and what
they call Fort Green forty one of the Ice Street
by the Brooklyn media. Oh wow, see Mammy, Pappy, Mama.

(02:12):
My dad's family was here already. They were like economically
better off than my mom's family. It was just you
and your mom or who else came? It was me
and my mom. Yeah, that's it. And then she had
my brother and my sister here.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
This was.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
My older sister, my younger brother. They were born in
the r but you know they're US citizens now. But
I'm like, okay, do you think see but I have
to do like a dual citizenship with my mother and
my father Dominicana. I think it's right here in Times Square.
But you know, my little sister, she got.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
It, she got it social security.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Oh my god, I love this. Miami. What's your connection
with Miami to be with the Miamis. Yeah, I did
high school Miami, so you know I started high school here,
I went to Miami and then I came back back
and forth Miami was like ninety five and I have
a long long history together.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Whose idea was Miami your father my father? Okay, I
guess like more means because dominic is one thing about
the Dominicans. As soon as we get money.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
In Miami, Yamo Miami Miami is that's like our thing.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Come on, pa.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
And but she was the one that used to.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Control the money. Yes, that.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
When my father used to wear wal cologne.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yes she did.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
She went to college and she went to Kingsboro.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yes. I used to help her with her essays.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Can we talk about that a little bit?

Speaker 1 (04:38):
You know how you know Latino children, we had different upbringings.
You know, we would help our parents with things. I
remember going with my mother to offices and translating for her,
like government offices.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
Honey. I've been doing that since I think, like my
like since I was like I want to say, eight,
And this is something American child cannot relate to.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Well.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
In school, I couldn't relate to what they were the
freedom that my classmates had, you know, growing up for me,
I had to call I had to go my mom
to get medicaid or to go get like welfare.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Face to face and up see it.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Joja okay, not that payment plan or email and glip
but all okay. At the point, didn't understand how beneficial
they are for me today because that freedom that I
wanted from like my fellow like classmates or like my friends.

(05:44):
At this moment, now I appreciate that she was able
to like instill that in me subconsciously somehow, because I'm
so independent. I know how to like, you know, open
up a bank account, how to depart, like there's so
many things that you don't learn that probably now people
are speaking about it, like financial education that I was
doing for my parents. I mean, at least for my mom.

(06:06):
That helped me as I was becoming an adult.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
And I feel you, I managed my entire house top
to bottom, and I'm like, I learned this as a child,
just like nobody had trained me on how to run
a household. Because growing up as as a child of immigrants,
you know, you're really involved in.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Landlord, So I understand.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Where you're coming from as far as being trained for
life as a child.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
And you know what, you used to piss me off.
And they used to talk to my mom like in
a certain way, and I had to be like, excuse me,
like as as much as you know, they take advantage sometimes,
like the conversations that I would witness was taking advantage
at their language barrier, and that would be like, wait
a minute, now, I'm sorry, what happened. No, there's there's
an error here, there's fifteen percent whatever on the capitol

(06:55):
wane whatever she had? Are you twelve years old?

Speaker 2 (06:57):
And I'm like twelve?

Speaker 3 (06:59):
But at you know, it's interesting because we don't places
like this right like your podcast, we get to speak
about those things. I remember when those things were not
to a topic of conversation because it was not relatable
or because it was a thing that we kept like
in the house.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
You know, I don't know if for your mom, you
weren't going to say that because mom was mom exactly.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
But you know, now it's like and it's something that
bonds us and it's a relatability that it's very real
right now, and I feel like with social media it's
become much more acceptable we talk about these things.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah, Like there's a double edged sword that I always say.
Right now, there's so much access to information and there's
so much access to express yourself, and it's important because
you grow up thinking you're the only one, or you're alone,
or like I'm so different, or I want to fit in,
and then you realize, like wait a minute, you take

(07:59):
care of your parents too. I was like, oh my god,
I had to help her the barrels. Even though I
try to get smarter now, I'm like ordering it online
to get it online. I don't go to like Costco
or BJ's all those big places, like who do you

(08:20):
have back in dr have all my mom's families there
and my dad's there. I have siblings there, and I
try to like her, but I always help my dad.
But my family, I try to always send like boxes
and barrels of.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Stuff again something that a regular American person are like
like what are they talking about? But now me, I
know what's going in that barrel. Don't look at what
we're putting it in that thing. And I remember because
we would go live there sometimes like a year or two,
and I remember my mom would send the stuff and
I was like, oh my god. And we get like
mashed potatoes, like the flakes, and I would be so happy,

(08:55):
and we would get a you know.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Aunt Jemima. That's what it was called the pancake pancake
mix and just different things that we were so.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Happy on FLA and Americans, like you used to send
food in a barrel to another country?

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Why would you do that?

Speaker 3 (09:09):
And then now when I think about it logistically, I'm like,
so I'm buying cereal for six dollars and like let's
say ninety nine cents, and I'm buy and I'm paying
to ship it and I'm paying let's say seven hundred
dollars to ships five boxes. If that divice, like, it
just doesn't make sense, It doesn't add up. But it's
just to have something from here, because now when you

(09:30):
go there, I feel like you could get everything that
you can get here.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
It's just it's gonna taste different.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
This smells different like things the thing are you know
you silico mix has to come from the It's different.
It's very creojo. It's very different. Get hello, Dorina, you

(10:06):
come from Linda with Dorina. I don let me let
me me, I you know, let me your taken from
the case clear, you know, consistingly filling limp gusta is

(10:40):
algo look case like at home, I was super Dominican
out in like Brooklyn and wherever I was at I
was like, not not relating to anything, but what was
from Brooklyn? Does that mean sense? You know I'm double dutching,

(11:02):
I'm hot? Whatever it was at the time.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
It's like the duality of our life was insane, you know.
We we would go to school, a pledge, a legiance
to the flag.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
You tell me.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
What did you eat? Like?

Speaker 3 (11:19):
I always wanted like a TV dinner because my friends
were like TV dinner. I'm like, you eat that for
and a brownie wow, the little brownie that I had
on the side right, And when I bought it, I
was like, I am in.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
I bought it once.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
I was like I am and you know, so look,
you don't know what I didn't.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
We did not have Google, I know, the world.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
To Andron in English to like probably last year.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Oh cro.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
Whom I'm a Googler or like researcher, and I had
like at that time, I havetan.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I was missing.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I was missing a couple of letters like maybe you have.
We only had like Nicola eleven, like from L to
probably M.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
We got it later.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
On, don't assign me no ship past L. But I
had it and I was obsessed looking up stuff. Not
as easy as now, but see. Food was something very
very unrelatable growing up for me because at home I
used to say cooked food. Everything was like, I don't know,
Fridays was maybe Chinese food, chicken wing, chicken, chicken, and

(12:32):
French fries will ketch up more ripped tips, come out,
extra egg, put an extra egg. Yes, I would eat that.
And then sometimes pizza you're not so something. We had

(12:58):
our spots in Dominican.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Going back and forth was amazing to me because it's
just like living in two different countries. And sometimes it
came because of a struggle, you know, so we re
up on the bread. But I love it, and you know,
having lived there shaped me in different ways. Did you
ever get to live there for extended periods of time.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
I never got to live there. I only got to
stay there for some summer vacations or whatever. But I
see myself there. I want to invest there, and I
just feel grounded when I'm there. I feel so free, right,
you feel so like everybody's gonna know what I'm talking about. No,

(13:49):
the jaw Nasi in in La Venit in Dependencia, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
So the city media in like Nika, which.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Is not like that's where I was born, but I
was like raised going back and forth was to the
which is like everybody like talks about now and when
I first started and but for me, clar clado, we

(14:29):
all do and pro I've always been proud. That's one
thing that being Dominican. I don't know how it happened,
but since I was little, I've always been proud of
being Dominican. And whether I was in school, whether people
couldn't relate, I never felt less than. I just felt
like different, but I always wanted to like show off,

(14:53):
like this is how we dance, this is.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
You don't know what that is.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Don't worry Alex explaining to you.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
It's crazy because when I was in elementary school, it
was all like your Puerto Rican, you put Rican. No,
I'm Dominican all the time. What is Dominican. I'm like,
hold on, let me explain to you. You see this
island right here, That's where I'm from. So I can
connect with you as far as being super proud of
where you're from. And I refuse to be stripped of it.
And it was like probably third or fourth grade, and
I was like, Noah, I'm gonna show y'all where I'm

(15:21):
from it's still you know, I'm pretty sure every country
feels it, but we're just extra proud. I don't know
what it is about us Dominican.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
I don't know either.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
I can't explain it when people tell me, I'm all, we.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Want to retire there, we want a vacation there, we
want to buy property there. Like I don't know if
other countries go as hard as we do.

Speaker 3 (15:58):
And I'm sure that it's something that for the immigrant
at least, I don't know if it's the same as
far as how much you want to invest back in
your country, because there's a lot of immigrants I don't
want to go back home the opportunity. But for us,
there's always this idea of Like I question.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
I might want to retire in d R.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
You might say, I might want to go live why
not Terno. Do you have made a jaw?

Speaker 2 (16:32):
I am in.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
I love Samana lit made a jou. I want be
And we had such a good time when I was
able to see the whales come to like the Oh yeah,
when they you went during that season, Yeah it was
like February, but you could still see the whales in
the in the one I said, what they see.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
I didn't go there. I was on a four wheeler.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
By the way, I bust my ass on a four wheeler.
I almost die water for in dr that'fore well, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
It was raining and.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Kept on your phone helmet like five story Like, honestly,
I don't know. I didn't bring except for Matto that
crack mattoo fast of video.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
When you met, I was like.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Throw the technolog mom.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
You were mom?

Speaker 2 (17:44):
I know two children.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
And now I am mother. Okay, I've been running away
from that title. What I was seventeen?

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Were you a mother? Oh my god, I love.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
This for you.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I'm like, she's so, and what did you do with
your daughter?

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Copy and paste?

Speaker 3 (17:55):
Like how did you do to come out your twin?
Like it makes no oh SAMs, sit down, bumped heads.
Oh no, you're made of she's you, right, she's me,
But she's like, you know, she she I grew up
with her. She's she was with me. And when you
had her, I was eighteen.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Okay, so you definitely grew up with her because you
could be thirty and still be a kid.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
I was eighteen and I was already mature.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
I was the oldest sibling cooking when I was nine,
cooking like hot dogs and making like peanut butter jelly
or plata or you know, since little and I know
how to do things in the kitchen because that's that's
culturally what we do. Pasa la vida. Typical Dominican mother.

(18:57):
When my daughter came out, she was obsessed with my daughter.
She's I can see you all over. My daughter was
like a premier.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
She was too much.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
She was two pounds, not barely two pounds. She was
in she was in nick you for two months. She
was supposed to be born in April fourteen. She was
born December sixteenth.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Wow, two pounds, gosha.

Speaker 3 (19:17):
Two pounds, like like a little like a little age,
but it seem a little lizard.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
I was like, this is not my this is not
my daughter. How scared were you?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
I was so scared eighteen years old with a premium.
But your mom's your mom stepped up. Oh boy, she
was there.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
But he tortured you the whole night. And I was
in college in the middle of all this, because I've
always been that person getting a complix ole they octopus
that I do everything. So I was at Kingsboro, I
was pregnant, I was working and see that you do.
We had a dominicano I can't get through the people

(19:53):
don't And at the time I took care my mom.
My mom was sick. She wasn't with my dad at
the time. My dad was incarcerated, and honey, honey, it
was just a lot on my plate.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
It was I was just.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
Going, going, going, going, going, going on. You're a kid,
thinking how old is your daughter? Now my daughter is
twenty one? Can she do everything that you were doing?

Speaker 2 (20:20):
Honey? She done?

Speaker 3 (20:21):
How the kid? Oh?

Speaker 2 (20:22):
She did?

Speaker 3 (20:24):
She made me a grandma told her the same thing.
I know, right, you're like that sunny, But you know
what's funny, I was the first one she told that too,
or really yeah, when she lost her virginity, she came
to me first. Well at least that's what she tells me.
But that's you know what. You didn't have that way

(20:45):
your mother, did you. I didn't even have the sex.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
That trust with me.

Speaker 3 (20:49):
But I was always scared of telling my mom certain
things because I'd never wanted to hurt her. So it
was like she would tell me everything that she would
be going through, which now they consider that and you
know that I've studied being a psychologist. I got my
mayor in psychology. I studied a lot of the things,
and culturally that's something culturally that we do, but in
psychology is something that it's not trauma dumping, but it's

(21:13):
kind of like your parent, what do you call it?
When you project you project the trauma and the responsibility
on to your kid, and that creates like a lot
of anxiety tension. And I'm like, even though I say
those things, I'm like, Mom, I'm not saying you did
that to me. I'm just saying that there could be

(21:35):
some reason as to why I'm such an anxious person.
But now looking back at it, I am so grateful
for it regardless, because it just allows me to know
and to handle, to be more emotionally intelligent with how
I communicate with people. And it's been very difficult with

(21:55):
my daughter, very why because it's how she is. It's
because you know, when you're doing it by yourself.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah, yeah, it gets hard.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
It's always been you and your daughter. Yeah, it's always
been me. And then you know, I've had relationships, but
it's not.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
The same as like when your father's oh yeah, could
you be like handle that? And you walk away and
you go take a bath and you lay down, and
father just doesn't.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
And there's something about a daughter and their father, you know,
there is a certain bond. There's like you need that
safety you need to create. For me, I feel like
and I'm not saying that that's should be the standard.
I'm just saying that from what I have observed in
my experience, when you have a father figure in a

(22:38):
young little girl's life, there's a sense of like security
and that independence. One thing that I have to appreciate
my father's for is always telling me to get your
own ship, by your own shit, don't depend on no man.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
So you want to go, you.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
Go, please stop because you know it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
It's like my.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Husband like me, He's like, why do you do so much?
And I said, you want me to be one hundred
percent honest with you because when I want to leave,
I want to leave. That's why I do everything I do.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
No make it away, We're not doing that. When I
want to leave, I want to leave.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
It's it's look, nothing is the same for everyone. For me,
it was difficult. There's always there's there's there was also
this is something I'm being very very vulnerable, transparent with you.
There was also something about me raising my daughter and
losing my mom. So it's like, oh, your mom is

(23:44):
no longer with us. She she passed when my daughter
was like four. Wow, that was early. Yeah, So it
was like, why do I have to raise a kid?
And then I'm not being raised. It's like now you
have what's called you know, kind of like the orphan syndrome.
It's like now you're alone this world. So another like
I'm an norpher and I gotta take care of my daughter.

(24:05):
And at that point all you could do is survive.
So it's like, come on, you have to know, you know.
And as much as I wanted to create, like my daughter,
my daughter got to go to Girl Scout. I don't
know how I did a Girl Scout good pre k school.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
I was able to go on trips with her. I
was able to go read honey, I would work from
eleven at night.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Will see that.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
In in pre k told me, you know, like I
would participate, like with the parents, and they don't want
to be the parent that doesn't do nothing.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
And so now that even speaking about this, I forget
so much that I have done because it's been so
much on the go and such and so and so heavy.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
To carry a lot as a young woman, and then
losing your mom, who is like your number one, you know,
like support system. It's like you're alone. You're like, wow,
I really got to do this by myself.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Where were you living in Brooklyn? I was in Brooklyn
at the time. I was in Beer Ridge. No, I
was in Flatbush because we lived in Flatbush. I lived
in Sunset. That's why people so Yeah, when I left
for Green we moved to Sunset, and then from Sunset,
I left to Miami, came back. We was in Flatbush.
But I've always had a family that lived in Flatbush,
so I would spend a lot of the time in Flatbush.

(25:30):
You know, we lived in Flatbush on Nor Do you
do that on my familia. Where did you work when
you lived in Brooklyn? Oh? My god, honey, you know
how many jobs I've had, all along the same lines.
Or I was a telemarketer. Okay, I was too at
one point. You know those calling cards, I was one

(25:50):
when you called, yeah, let me give you five cents
for that drop call.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
I became a supervisor doing that. Then I worked as
a bartender I worked at. I worked at New York
New York Company Retail, the clothing store.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
I've had so many jobs. And then when I finished college,
I decided to work in the hospital. Oh yeah, so
you worked at MONTI right. I worked first at Methodist,
which is in Brooklyn. Then I worked at a surgery center.
Then I ended up in months if you're uh in
the operating room there. So all along, I've been like

(26:27):
in the so.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
You're working, you're pursuing your bachelor's in psychology, and you're
being a single mom, single mom a lot.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I'm tired of just.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Thinking, you know, oh, of course we always don't have
something on the side.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Right right, right, right, right right now.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
When did acting come about? Like when did you think
I could be an actress? Like or you just stumbled on?

Speaker 3 (26:55):
Okay, you smell love her. Anyways, one of my favorite
movies was Coming to America Home Alone. All those movies Rockies,
Rockies are my favorite. I got to work with Syvester Salon.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Do you know what what? How?

Speaker 3 (27:12):
I felt, friend, You're in the same but.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
A hundred times.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
But anyways, I've always wanted to do that. I've always
sang dance you know acted taking my little acting classes.
Say mommy, mommy, you can okay, you put ballet, finished
playing ballet, but I take a couple classes ballet, t
have jazz, all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
I'll go okay, you see him pressing. I used to.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
I was raised Catholic, did my communion, did my confirmation,
all that. So I would get our moneys every night,
or sometimes I'll be and I would just pray every
day and do my father's and say, I want to
be an actress. Pa, gonna give me the opportunity to
just be an actrude one day and then things happen,

(28:05):
life happens. I'm in the hospital at the time I
was with him who I thought I was gonna marry,
and it was something that I would always come home
and after being in the hospital, mind you, this is
the hospital when you get birth or why when I'm
working okay, when you're working okay months if you're all that, Oh,
how how did you feel You're in the hospital and

(28:26):
you're like, this is not for me? I want to
be an actress. Is that I was flying at it.
I was I was as good as yo. Like what
I put my mind to it was like, yes, a

(28:46):
month of few when it came to sterilization, to Sabe
and the opera was getting my r N and l
I U h really yeah, I was in my clinicals.
You were tell you, oh, so I was going to
the downtown Brooklyn down and the downtown Brooklyn campus, honey

(29:10):
clinicals doing that. It was like I was doing the impossible.
I was like me, never you were gonna win.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, that's what it was.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
You had that mentality of yo, I'm gonna make it.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Especially not when I have the energy. And I think
it was losing my mom so yo. My mom's forty six,
so losing her so young, and suddenly it was like
I don't have much time, Like I don't have much time.
We think we're immortal, but we don't have much time.
Put it put your mind in a different perspective. You're like,

(29:42):
I might have twenty years left, Like I gotta really
got to have two days. You don't know that's that.
It's just that's something that you could either take to
your advantage or you could either use against you. And
I've had hardships that have reminded me over and over
what you say your time, what's out of your control?

(30:05):
Death is the only thing sure, what is success. It's
always reminding me that those are the things that really
matter who you spend your time with, like me speaking
about this is so necessary for us to have these
conversations because it's like therapy, you know, being able to
express that to people that don't really know. They just
see the success, like, oh my gosh, you've got an actress. Yes,

(30:26):
I've always wanted to be an actress. But the only
way that I had the chance was because I was
in it at the time. When I was at the
hospital and I'm in there and I'm in the operating room,
I'm good at what I do, making my little money.
I wasn't happy. I was too colorful the scrubs. You know,
I had my scrub hab, but I was too colorful.

(30:46):
And I love the patient, but I it wasn't you know,
fulfilling me like my soul. I put myself in. My
partner at the time found the school, and I invested
in myself. If there's something I'm gonna do, you know.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
The school.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
If I think love that, I love that.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
I love that. I love that.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
I did because a lot of the times, you know,
we spend all this money on different things. But then
if you want to take a course and it's two
thousand dollars, you think it's a lot.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
No, it's not a lot. Invest in your future, in
your craft and what it is that you want to do.
Where did you go to school? What did you do?

(31:36):
Talk to me, give me the Insso started at Kingsboro,
got my associates, ended up at Hunter, got my psychology,
and Hunter my bachelor and then I was working on
my bachelors and master's.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
At l i U.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
So I didn't have that accelerated program. That's the one
I was in.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
You were not accelerated program.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, I did criminal justice, though I wanted to be
an f AI agent.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
And here we are, and.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Here we are.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Isn't that crazy that we have these ideas? Do you
ever get a feeling of going like you want to
do it again? All the time?

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Listen, I cannot watch a TV show with a woman
in a uniform, whether she be a sergeant, a lieutenant,
an FBI agent, and I'm like, I would have been
an amazing agent. It was either that or law school.
But I feel like I would have been an amazing agent.
Every time I watch a TV show, I'm.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
Like that could have been me.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
So what's your passion? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
It's just so all over the place.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
I love media, I love talking to people, but criminal
justice really was my original passion. This all happened by mistake,
but I love it and I love existing in it.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
Because sometimes even where you're supposed to be is not
necessary where you think you're supposed to be right or
where you've thought. People think that because you're so multifaceted.
Especially I feel like with women that you're all over
the place. And I don't feel like it's all over
the place. I feel like I have the ability of

(32:59):
doing so much why should I not? And I've always
gotten that feedback like, oh you gotta stream, Yeah, okay,
when you're focusing on something. But if I have the
ability to do three things like I have, and I
did it well. I put myself through squells on the
Dean's List. I worked my behind off. I got from
a little tech to being a manager of operator like

(33:20):
not regular operation like super open heart surgery, you know,
like qualify for some shit like that you understand, like,
to being a nurse I mean to do my clinicals,
to then being an artist and being able to say
that at least I do it well and I'm proud

(33:44):
of what I've done. And I have to I have
to understand too that it keeps on ever evolving, like
education doesn't stop. Like there's times that I want to
go back and say, maybe I should just finish my
clinicals and get my RRN and you're travel still.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
I was doing it the other day. I was like,
let me see if I.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
Oh my god, that's a great people. I'm not doing nothing.
I feel bored when I'm not doing nothing is a
p I don't know how to not do nothing. I
don't even like know how to take vacations, like people
might see me online, but it's like a quick thing.
I'm doing something else. I'm not planning. I don't plan vacations. Honestly,
I can't think of a time that I said this
is a vacation that I'm going to take. Never overproductive.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
I'm overproductive all the time you're on M does it
sometimes feel like overwhelming? Like why am I doing all this?

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Like what's going on?

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (34:37):
When life happens and when it's struck in your face
and you're like, yeah, guess what this is happening? You know, death,
or your daughter's having a kid, you know, or you know.
Because people think, yes, it's a beautiful thing, but it's
also a lot of responsiblity. Now I have to worry about.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
My daughter and also her child.

Speaker 3 (35:02):
Is it a grandson or a grand daughter.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
It's a little boy cute.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
I love this with him.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
He's so cute and delicious.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
But now it's like, now you have not just your daughter,
but you have my son and your grandson. So your
son is so cute, isn't hen He's so handsome. He
doesn't look like you the way your daughter does, but
he's so cute. What was that parent magazine that you
were in? I love those pictures. When they came out,
I was like, I love this.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
I say that all the time.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
I said.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
People are like, oh, y'all look like. I'm like, no,
we don't, but people say we do. I'm very proud
of both my kids and my son is hold is
your son?

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Now?

Speaker 3 (35:35):
He's sixteen. He's graduating next year from high school. Congratulations,
I love thank you. He wants to go to college
all the way in Portland.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Why not let him? He's great at baseball, so that's
what he's doing.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
Really, so Dominican of him. Are they both fully Dominican
or are they mixed? They're both Dominican. His father's his
grandfather is Puerto Rican. My son's grandfather's Puerto Rican. I
guess his father's half Florida canter Okay, yeah right, But baseball,
it just runs in our blood, whether it be Puerto
Rico Dominigan. He's very athletic. Never thought because he was

(36:07):
like really chunky and fat when he was little, but
it was baby basketball. Swims like a fish, like, plays
a lot of sports, and he's just good at baseball.
That's what he wants to dedicate himself, so he runs
like crazy the track. I'm just glad that my kids
is sports because I did sports. You to play good
ass basketball. I did a softball in high school and

(36:30):
in college. I can see that for you.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
I can see that for you, and I'm glad your
mom allowed you to, you know, participate in sports. We
were in a house of five. My mom was not
trying to five kids. My mom was like nothing, just
go to school and bring your ass home. But you
know how important sports are, you know for your self esteem.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
It's different in suburbs. Oh in here in Miami. I
was able to do it because but you were a Miami. Yeah,
I was in Miami. I wasn't gonna play softball here.
Well I did in the high school, but it's not
the same over there. Take sports serious, and the weather's different.
They have the outdoors, so we will go lunch to
or whatever after school. You're running, you're doing whatever it
is you're practicing. Sammy loves you. It's it's weird. Miami

(37:12):
loves you. New York loves you. Dominican Republic loves you.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Yeah, it's just like and then we all want to
claim you.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
They could claim me.

Speaker 3 (37:21):
They gave you the key in Miami, right how they
give me.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
The kids to the city take county. Baby.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
But I'm proud, you know.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
I was like, oh this is it's a full life circle.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
And we are proud of you.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
You don't understand how proud we all are, Like Dominiganos,
New Yorkers, the folks in Miami, forget about it.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
They claim you too. I'm so I'm so grateful for that.
I'm very grateful. How do you feel today? I just
pivoted into life, coach. I don't know, you know, I'm
a life coach, right, are.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
You a life coach?

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Yea, you need to coach me, baby, I got you
whatever you need to coach me, honey.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
I don't know why I just felt like asking you
because you know, a lot of my sessions I start
with how do you feel spiritually today? Or what's bothering?
What's in your heart today? I don't know why I
just went into that mode with you, ay, because what's
in your heart today?

Speaker 3 (38:20):
And my heart my heart.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Too.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
I am like my heart is like like a marshmallow
with them eminem candy shell? Does that mean it's very sweet?
It's very sweet and soft or tender and you have
to treat it delicately, you know, but it has a
shell on the outside right now. It's always been there,

(38:47):
It's I guess it's it's always been there. I've always
been very not publicly vulnerable, guarded. I'm very guarded, but
I talk about things just like emotionally expressing emotions. I
always like embarrassed of like crying or doing things like that,
you know whatever, because I'm very sensitive and I've had

(39:10):
to understand that.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
How hard was it for you to open up and
share with us? You know, when you lost your partner,
like you put it out there now that you talk
about vulnerability and emotion and your.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
Heart, it's it's different.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
As a collective, we all felt it was just like no, no, no,
not my gosh, I know that pain, you know, yeah,
because I wasn't. I'm not want to speak about my
relationships publicly.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
So it's like we saw it and we saw you happy,
and it was just like give us.

Speaker 5 (39:55):
Right, Charis drop chorus, Hello, being Contigo eating.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
I felt he loved me like my mom loved me
real like it don't matter what our k like he cared,
he cared, and I feel that Metokoto is how crushed?

(40:29):
Were you? Ideal swim I'm still It's only been three years.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
It's pain is still very real, and you know there
there's some losses that you just never get over.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
It forever hurts. And plus that I didn't grieve my mom.
You know, how do you grieve? How do you how
do you grieve? There's a kid you don't you know.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
I'm like.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
When my mom passed that same my mom passed May
eighteenth and I was working May twentieth. You know, it's
says I lost my father very young. I was fifteen,
and he was sick for a very long time, and
I remember just going to the funeral and then going
home like, yeah, he's not sick no more. I didn't grieve.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
I just moved on.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
I went to high school. I was probably like in
eleventh grade or something, and I just went to school.
There was never that process of I lost my father.
I just knew he was gone one day, so I under.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Understand, and you're in a sense of shock.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
So that happens, and then I have to survive, and
then this happens all of a sudden, and then it's
like it just things resurfaced that you were you wasn't
aware that you was living with your law trauma, right,
and the terms that they're used so loosely now more
so than ever great. But for me that I studied psychology,

(41:50):
that I was experiencing things that I felt like I
should suppress. Now with the loss of X, it was like.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Who do I speak to about this?

Speaker 3 (42:02):
And like speaking publicly about it, grieving publicly now, not
wanting people to see me like if I'm attracted to somebody,
if I'm messing with something around, if I'm fucking somebody,
like I don't know if we could curse on you,
of course, but you know, if we're having sex or
whatever it is, I have a relationship like moving on
and not moving on and knowing that, you know, like
I have all his like whatever was left at that moment.

(42:23):
I wanted to stay like that, like frozen in time. Yeah,
because you want to like hold on to certain things,
and then there's moments where you just want to, like
I need to celebrate him and not like come on,
come only safe keep come on, come on into I

(42:48):
have to maintain them more alive, like them dying doesn't
mean that they're necessarily dead.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
No, that's just the body that's gone. But their spirit,
their talent, their legacy, it all, it never.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
Ceases to exist. Yeah, and it's it's hard because publicly,
I remember when he passed, I was doing like a
book that I had to narrate, and then I was
auditioning for stuff and I had to be like this
and I'm like crying every day.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
You know, you had to turn it on.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
It was just like Okay, now I make believe all
this shit is not happening, and I'm not hurting and
I'm not tore up inside and go narrate a book
like yeah, or auditioned for a role.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
And then people forget. You know, you think that people
will will know, and then you're forgotten. When you're gone,
you're forgotten. And for me, it was like, I don't
want it to forget. You want to keep him alive.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
In a way, it's kind of like, you know, he
was amazing, he was my heart. Just because he passed
away doesn't mean he's gone. You're amazing. You're amazing because
I see what you're doing here. You don't want him
to cease to exist because his physical cease to exist.
That's beautiful. I hope somebody does that for me too,

(44:16):
because I struggle with that a lot. Like when I'm gone,
am I just gone?

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (44:24):
And I live with it, you know, like I'm not.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
I'm not embarrassed or anything.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
I'm just nothing to be amazed. Sometimes I cry and
I get over it and I choke up and I'm
like whatever, you know, this is something that I have
to live with and you know, and it's it's sad
because there's people that sometimes I ask myself, like how
come there's people that get to share their dream or

(44:54):
whatever they're working towards because he was a producer and
he got to share some of his stuff, but he
was almost there. So you feel like his life was
cut short before he got to really like exist in
his greatness.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
And like for the world.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
I guess the world feels him through the songs that
he was part of the music and for those you know.
And even now I get mad at certain people that
don't even mention him, and I'm like, why would you
do like just a little just if you just once
maybe if you don't mind, you know. And I've like
separated myself from his family as well, because it's like

(45:33):
every time I go there, I'm like, it brings back
girl a lot of emotion. Yeah, and then you know,
it's different how people grieve the pain is compared like, well,

(45:57):
you know, that was my brother or that was my son,
and then it's like that was just your Like I
should hurt more because I was closer to him. Yeah,
you know, so I'm not in the I'm not in
the game to like compare pain, and I understand that
I don't judge it, but I feel like how to
respect that, keep my you know, key to myself and
people that really care about him, Like I didn't want

(46:21):
this to be all about no no, no, no no.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
But this is part of my life.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
It is it is something that I and exactly how
I am. This is what I think about.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Like there's certain people that I'm like, yo, I want
to talk about him so much, remember.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
And then there's some people that I'm like, yeah, I
don't like you because however you were without you know,
these are things that you go through when people die.
Even with my mom, I don't like that you did that,
or I'm very big on that.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
I'm very big on like and sometimes it creates resolution
also because holding things in and not confronting things, it
just creates kind of like you know, like kind of
like resentment that lives forever.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Then film do look at.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
I'm all you look my husband be like, oh, you
like conflict. It's not that I like conflict. It's just Dasha,
when you said this, I didn't like it. It made
me feel a certain way. And you know what, you
might be like, honey, I didn't mean it, and then
we fix.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
It and we move on.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
You just have I with stuff like that. I don't
even want to tell something like I run away from it.
But it's so necessary. It's very necessary because you become
passic aggressive. You're like, no, maa, why is this person
in my space? You know? But I mean it's a
it's a you're thinking Yojo perso tam being here.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
I have my two kids. I thought that.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
You know, my father was about he was getting out
of jail and May he passed February third. My father
was getting out of jail and May. We wanted to
get married and sometime.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Ban Hello. You know.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Perrot comment. You know you find yourself comparing like solo
p a.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
Ideal.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
Anyways, the point is can now, as a woman, it's scary.
I'm older to d I'm an actress, I'm an artist.
I want to do so many things, and it's great

(49:17):
to be alone. Yes, okay, I want to give my like.
I don't believe that by me knowing what real love
is and that that's my soulmate, that because he's not
here that I can't I can't have someone and experience
another type of love. You understand, I'm never going to
experience I love that. That's the county.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
So says.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
Spiritually, I'm in the best place as far as like hope,
as far as like we're my care going where my
love life is going where like time, Where's how much time?
So there's a lot of things that I know are
out of my control, but I still think about because

(50:15):
these are the cars that I'm dealing with. These are
the circumstances that are in front of me. You're playing,
you know, the hand that was given to your right.
But I'm just glad that you know you were able
to experience this type of love connect find your soulmate.
You know, it sucks that he was taken from you
so early and that you weren't able to grow old

(50:36):
with him, But I really hope that you know he
taught you how you need to be loved so that
you never ever ever take any love lesser than what
he gave you. And guess what what that being said,
it opened up a lot of interest, and also it

(50:59):
made me more brave and speaking about the relationios that
I've been that I come across that tend to be
emotionally physically abusive, because he came into my life and
a point where I had already experienced what domestic violence
was and what physical and emotional abuse was, and everything
wasn't quiet. But you know, I for some reason, I

(51:25):
don't speak. It's it's shame. It's embarrassment while I'm shooting
orange or while I'm doing whatever I'm you know, versaci,
I'm getting a black eye and people have no idea,
you know, and all these things happen, and I feel
like we don't speak about the importance of emotional and

(51:47):
physical abuse and how we like hide it. We're embarrassed,
you know. It's like we don't and I feel like
it was my responsibility to say, you know, yes, I
am someone that has experienced that, and that I want
to speak more about that, because it's I see it
every day, even like in the relationships that I've had

(52:09):
after even with this situation, even in passing, how people
speak to you.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
It's just and what we tolerate, what we accept.

Speaker 3 (52:19):
You know, there was a point that I'm like, this
is what I deserve because I didn't appreciate him as much,
you know, like you take people for granted. But I'm like,
I get checked, you know, like I have something that
tells me. Girl, you don't know when somebody's gonna die.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
It's not like it's not something we can predict, right,
and it's something that's certain for all of us. You know,
what I'm saying some of us go young, some of
us you know, my grandmother was ninety nine, but then
we have children that die at three days old.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
It's something that's certain, right.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
But yeah, when it comes to domestic violence, at what
point did you say I'm going to say this out
loud and I'm going to say, you know, it's something
I've experienced.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
I've been thinking.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
About the last couple of the last couple of months.
I've been looking more and reading more upon it, because
you know, there's a lot of things that happen, especially
in dr and then there's a lot of self like
skeletons or self suppression that I've done that I feel

(53:24):
like I got to talk about it, and I don't
ever want to mention the man that did it. I
don't know why or the people that I've came across
and have experienced that, because it's just not I feel
like I give them lights of course, someone I'm like, no,
there wasn't.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
You know.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
I've been abused. I've been physically abused, and it fucks
with you because then you're in a relationship that is
so good and you're so resistent, you're so hesitant to
do certain things because you're like, wait, what are you
trying to control me?

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Or you trying your.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
Guard is up all the time. And so being able
to speak about that and say like, this is not
what it's supposed to be and you shouldn't be ashamed
of it, you know, and hearing things that are happening
now with you know, with certain situations and friends that
I know, and even in the industry, there's a lot
of people that go through that don't speak up about
it because they're scared.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
They they're ashamed of it.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
And you know, you know, it's friends, it's families, it's
it's our aunts, it's our mothers sometimes and we see
it and just nobody, nobody is really willing to become
the face of you know, I was abused because sometimes
there's that, you know, victim shaming. Well, you were abused
because you stood Look at the Kasi situation.

Speaker 3 (54:35):
You know what I'm saying, like, it's everybody no, in

(55:05):
this case, I'll okaying participant. You know, I spoke speaking
to my therapist also allowed me to understand that when
you start doing it too, you know, that self defense

(55:25):
you start like starts playing with you, Like when you're
with narcissistic people. Your your reaction becomes a thing of
like questioned, so a doubt within you, like why am
I reacting this waydook.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
That fight back.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
It's either you or me. I'm not gonna let you
take me out.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
The sposasa.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Torment you.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
To karakome.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Normally up and down and say up and down, And
I'm like why, Like do I not know how worthy
I am? Why am I wasting time with people just
talk about like, oh, would you regularly? Would you date
a regular dude? No?

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Like this, I'm not. It's not about like.

Speaker 3 (56:18):
Socio economic status, but it also is about like the
the ambition, the sense of wanting to like be someone
drive like I don't want to be with nobody else.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
It's like like, no, you're not gonna regular you get hang.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
Because all day long? But I hate no you know,
care anod this, So you know care anod this. You
know what I'm saying. Don't that I am worthy? And

(56:59):
I don't that I deserve to be able to be excited,
to be like to be excited to see okay, fruit can.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Just so I'm all about yeah, equality, but I'm also
about like, let me be in my common, my girl
Ari Lennox and my soft girl.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Just solo, p.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
I see and reciprocate. Trust me, you want myself, You
want me to cook like is it I feel?

Speaker 3 (57:48):
I feel you. It has to be that way and
work better than when you you're in a relationship and
you with somebody that uplifts you, you feel safe around that.
You both like getting yours, you both working towards something.
It's a partnership. You said, Okay, so do not care

(58:10):
that man, Okay, not going back for you, you dumb bitch.
I don't want to no, no, okay, but you know
I want to be I want you to treat me
like if I'm your most precious.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
Your treasure, your treasure, I am your most prized possession
because I'm not your possession.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
But you know what I mean. It's like white glove treatment, that.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
White glove me being Yeah, it's like.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
And it's it shouldn't take for like Avlando, even going
back to the when I tell you about my daughter,
like how we bump past. Now we're in such a

(59:14):
better place because I decided to say, and she did too,
but I decided to say. I have to figure out
how to communicate better. That it does not come off
in a way that's attacking or making her feel less than.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Me.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
Mam, I want the best for you. Let's work on that.
Let me apologize for me offending you not being the
best mother, and I hope that you accept that as
my apology, and let's work towards that and ever since
I send her that text, by the way, because it
wasn't because you know, I send her that text and
we've been it's so much better. And I want that
to be like the foundation and the structure of who

(59:59):
I've decided to be with, whether it's in a romantic
whether it's the friends around me, whether it's like my colleagues, whoever.
I want to have a really healthy communication, you know,
an open door I have just it's so important for
us to communicate more effectively and be just lessed on

(01:00:22):
the defense. And you're breaking cycles, you're breaking you know,
learned behavior because it does come a lot from you know,

(01:00:43):
our parents. Maybe they weren't the best communicators. Maybe they
were aggressive with the way they spoke and it was
just like you do this, no questions asked, so like Mando.
So it's like there was no communication, like I.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Couldn't sit down and speak to my mom about why
she wanted me to do anything or why she thought
my life should be let us. It was just whatever
she said and I had to take it, I see,
and it was aggressive. So what you're doing now is
just you're changing the way your daughter is going to
be with her son. And that's what we need so
that all those you know, toxic traits that we might have,

(01:01:15):
you know, been passed down, cease to exist.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
It does have that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
I've been observing my daughter more and I'm so proud.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
I must say that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
I'm really proud. She's a better parent than me. She
has such patience. She reads a lot, she googles, you know,
she researches like certain things of how to And I'm like,
you know what, I'm very proud that you're able to
do that. I'm really proud of being able to also
witness my daughter doing that. You come on, it's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
This is your work.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Your daughter is your work. Come on, you're proud of her.
You should be proud of you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
I gotta be proud of me too. Me take some credit, Sonny,
take some credit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Proud of you, and we're we are proud of you
like it's so crazy. It's like, that's just it. You're
the man the wood man right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Talked to me about acting. That was the question.

Speaker 3 (01:02:13):
We just did this whole lap around and I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
I love it. I love it. I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
What was Orange your first gig? Like, what was your
first first acting gig?

Speaker 3 (01:02:24):
My first acting gig was.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Give Me Shelter. It was a movie with James L.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
Jones, Vanessa Hudgens Prinson, Phasian and I just I've had
a couple of little lines like maybe one two lines, Hello,
how are you running? Was Carmel. That was my first
movie that I booked ever, beauty professionally. Then I booked
like a couple of guest stars and shows, and then
two a year later when I decided to not want
to act no more because I was like, I can't

(01:02:52):
do this and not make money.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
I have to work.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Hand Lau. I had my two jobs at the time.
On Long Island College Hospital was open, I would work there,
and I worked in Mantifor in the Bronx, and I
was still living in Brooklyn.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
But how I don't know how I did a girl.
I don't know how I did it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
I have I don't even know now when I look
at it, I'm thankful that I had my brother, my sister,
and then my my man. At the time, these people
also helped me because they were my support group. Like
when I had to go somewhere, Oh yeah, so you
had a tribe. Yeah, I found a way, found a

(01:03:42):
way to get it done. And at the time, I
was at a crossroad because I was gonna leave Montafire
to stay at the job in Brooklyn because everything was
so much closer. And I got the call to go
audition for Orange and I was like, all right, I'll
do it. You had a manager or who called. I
had a manager and they called me. I go to

(01:04:05):
the city, go by my business and I get a
call from my manager at the time, Hey, they want
to see you again. But I always say this story
that at the time I had clinicals, and you cannot
call out from clinicals. So I had to tell my.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
Boss, Hey, can you think it's possible that I.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
Take a day off or whatever? And then I'm my
nursing director. I told her, Hey, do you think I
could make up some things?

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
And she let me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
It was like everything worked out.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
From starting line.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
I emailed the casting director. I told them, Hey, do
you think that you could give me a later call
or maybe I could come and come on Saturday. That
also happened, which never usually happens. I don't recommend it either.
You booked the part they want they want you to put.
I had to make decisions like this. I went to

(01:04:58):
my Brooklyn job. I said, Yo, you think that you
guys can accommodate me. I'm not going to be shooting
every day. The guy was like, absolutely not. I said,
then I gotta go. I resigned COO for you one
if you was more flexible. I was a manager, so
I got my supervisor to do my shift and blah
blah blah, and I was able to do Orange. I
finished shooting Orange, and then I'm still working at the hospital.

(01:05:20):
Nobody know what is it the pilot that you finished shooting?
No the whole season, because at the time they were
doing the the season for Netflix. At the time, it
was only House of Cards. Netflix didn't have no other shows.
How crazy is No?

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
There was nothing?

Speaker 3 (01:05:34):
Don't streaming Orange was like the second show? What was
the most important show of streaming ever?

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
Ever?

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
In my opinion, No, that show is iconic me and
I did not even realize what you were doing, right,
Absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
I was just having fun.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
I was in there like, oh my god, I'm not
sure I'm acting. I don't know what it was.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
That's the same thing that Elizabeth rodriguezid. She said, I
read them, and I was like, well, that's just just
a for Netflix or whatever. She had no idea like
what this was going to be.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
And a lot of them, who had already been in
the industry been fulfilling what they dreamed of doing, you know,
they they were actors her. A lot of the women
that I was surrounded, that was their main lucky were you?
So I was very lucky and very blessed to be
around because I learned a lot. I learned a lot
from being thrown out there too in a show. You know,

(01:06:26):
the vocabulary in your twenties. Yeah, I was in my twenties. Yeah,
with a lot of responsibilities that nobody knew about because
you know who would have guessed I'm very youthful. I
come on for you, for I didn't even realize that college.
Nobody knew how the kid. I would tell people, but
nobody would believe. Now you're not a month even now
people like, oh, you're a grand No, you know, I'm like,

(01:06:47):
I'm very youthful in my spirit, and so you look you.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
Look absolutely skin is skinning, honey.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
I'm March.

Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
Corridors idea and that's stressed. But Pedro join. Regardless of
how racially diverse it was, I learned a lot from
a lot of them, and I've gained a lot of
friends from that show. And how many seasons did you
guys do?

Speaker 2 (01:07:22):
Seven? It was a great thing to be part of.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
And it also taught me that success even now because
I've reached out to you about certain things that I
find that we don't speak about. Culturally, I don't know
you can relate to. But Dominicano, Alexito, the success is
attached to the financial ability. Quite what club do you

(01:07:50):
belong to?

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
He necessarily that's not the truth for a lot of
us actors in Hollywood, you know, some of us do
Some of us have that opportunity that they get catapulted
and they get supported by the network and by you know,
that's their journey and for whatever reason, that's their access

(01:08:12):
to certain things, and they're able to be financially well
off for some of us, know, for some of us.
The success is not determined by finance. It's determined by
being part of something that nobody can take away from you.
Like the success that Orange brought me was that it

(01:08:33):
allowed me to have the platform where people visually, regardless
of the language, wherever they were experiencing or not, can
connect with me and felt inspired by me. And whatever
I expressed on that screen, whether you're in Germany, whether
you're in India, whether you're in every language in the world,

(01:08:56):
they're able to like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
And for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
Get the girl downstairs in security, she can't be more
than eighteen, And I said, can I give you some
names from some people that are coming?

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
And I gave her the name. Then I said and Dash.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
She said she's from Orange.

Speaker 3 (01:09:21):
She's the new Black, right, And I was like, yeah,
she's like eighteen years old.

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
You believe that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
My mom loves you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
And I'm like, you're gonna live forever. You're immortalized with
this show forever. And you know your body of work,
you know, is more than Orange.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
But Daya is just.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
Dianada. And my daughter got to act in it too.
I know.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
She played like the younger you, right, even though you
look young as hell on the show anyway.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
Yeah, she played there were scenes that they required for
her to be younger and they cast it. You were
like away clad?

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
How are those How are those checks like Netflix checks?
Like is it forever and ever and ever? Or do
you get paid like one time for your acting?

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
How does that work? Yeah, it's like it's different for
streaming m M. And I don't know all the details details,
but you get paid per episode okay, and it comes
like all the time or it's one time no one
time girl, okay, I don't know. The residuals. Residuals are
not salor residus. And it also depends on the contract

(01:10:35):
you have. It's all depending on who's but you know,
you were so young. Do you feel like your contract
was what it needed to be? But then again, at
that time, nobody knew what Orange was going to be, right,
and nobody knew what it was going to do, you know?
And also you we have to there's not as much

(01:10:56):
opportunities for for across the board for everyone. You create
your own opportunity, and you can see historically diversity is
like something that's now you know. And I don't want
to just be like playing one role, right, I want
to have the pertunity to play many roles. But because

(01:11:17):
of that stereotypical role, it opened up the door for
me to be able to play in other things, you know,
to be directed by Squorsezy, Like how could I be
directed by Scrasees. We talk about this when I saw it,
but like Patino and it's me DeNiro Pecion and it's
me doing like blood pressure, like how life does things right?

(01:11:38):
Like handle blo pressure. It was really you me, How
did that happen? Because when I I was just watching
The Irishman and then I'm like, what am I seeing
right now?

Speaker 2 (01:11:47):
It's this.

Speaker 3 (01:11:50):
It's a auditioned I told, like, I don't need like
I auditioned and not. But I had already done a
movie with The Narrow with Jennifer low Orens, with David
to Russell, Like I have to remind myself that I've
worked with a lot of like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
The Big One, like just be have a hefty resume.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:12:16):
Is that the Godfather boys?

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
I want to I don't know. I feel like if
I am tell one of the gangsters from from the.

Speaker 1 (01:12:24):
Godfather, for sure, I'm getting it right now.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
I mean, I just it's so cool to be able
to say like, oh, see salone, like how big is that?

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
It's great? I cried every time.

Speaker 3 (01:12:41):
Let me say this every time I book these things,
and I'm like, oh my god, come okay, something for
me to like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Not say no glad.

Speaker 1 (01:12:58):
Latina by the New Yorkers, Like you encompass so many
different people that when you feel proud, we feel proud.

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Is your father home now? Yeah? My father was a.

Speaker 3 (01:13:13):
How proud is he of you? Can he said, no,
you're mahine or your mahin me passed the netflix in No,
but he's very proud of But my father has always
been proud of me since I was little. He's always away.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Oh he was away for a long time.

Speaker 3 (01:13:34):
So how is it reconnecting now as an adult?

Speaker 2 (01:13:38):
Was it hard?

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
Did you feel like a disconnect or you felt like
you were still close to him? I think that it
was hard for us, Like there's a sense of like
a little resentment you with him, Yeah, Like why did
you do this that took you away from me?

Speaker 2 (01:13:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
Like because there was a lot of lack of there
was a lot of fear and lack of like good
support and in like defending him in the case, you know, and.

Speaker 1 (01:14:01):
So as far as like the legal system goes, yeah,
of course, like that's what happens to it, right, So
it's like.

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
So and so he accepted like a plea deal that
you felt like he didn't need to. Yeah, you know,
so there's a lot of other things in the case
that I'm like, what the hell, like, what would you
do that? But anyways, the point is what you reconnected
with him. I I've always but simple, simple, simple is

(01:14:37):
perfect man for perfect me. I'm proud of my parents.
My parents worked, works, worked, worked, factory got we don't
call me Inerman.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
German monk.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
But I don't even like to travel in places like
when I've been to France, I'm like so like they
don't understand me. Imagine it to a country and just
figuring it out without the language.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
I'm brave.

Speaker 3 (01:15:16):
It is brave.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
And you know we got to give them that, and
they did it for us, you know, neither I I

(01:15:44):
mean we brought that. I'm not going nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
I don't speak the language, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:15:58):
I called my father only handy sold makes of the
Madra like amazing, amazing, And I feel like a lot
of our are Latin immigrants beyond Latin. They come here

(01:16:21):
and they sacrifice a lot, even what they know their
abilities to do something just to sustain themselves and to
like survive. And I admire that from my father and
my mom. You're crazy. You can't take that away from me. Ever,
I don't care like there's poems. Everybody makes a mistake,

(01:16:49):
and everybody makes everybody. We do little crimes. Just because
you haven't been called doesn't mean you're not. That's what
I was gonna say.

Speaker 1 (01:16:54):
Come on, now, white collar crime is rampant. Little taxis kid,
there's a lot of mother of course, all day long,
crime is being committed in every office across America.

Speaker 3 (01:17:04):
They're just not getting caught photos. Amen, and that's sick.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
I'm glad he's home, and I'm glad you're connected with him.

Speaker 2 (01:17:14):
Yeah, me too.

Speaker 3 (01:17:15):
I'm getting on with skis nophrenia. Yeah, it became like
it came as an adult all of a sudden, and
he was like that can happen, Like, yeah, he becomes
schizophrenic as an adult. Was it a trauma or something
like something? That's what they say, but it was, you know,
he was messing around with substances and then that triggered something.

(01:17:38):
I've heard that in the past, and you know, if
but he was missing, he to me missing, right, I thought,
And he just hit me up while I was shooting
the Walking Dead And that was a sense of like
relief for me in my life. Good for you because
I was like, oh, my brother hit me up. So
now we're talking again. All the pieces are coming together.

Speaker 2 (01:18:00):
Yeah, it's just families.

Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
What family is regardless, you know, as long as you
respect each other and as long as like there's room for.

Speaker 1 (01:18:11):
For growth and reconciliation takes a lot of time. It's okay,
we're humans. We're gonna make mistakes. If we talk it
out and we come together and we're like, I'm sorry
you felt this way or I'm sorry I did this,
there's always room to move forward. Family is like a tapestry.
It's like a quilt. We're all different colors, different shapes,
different patterns. But once you put it all together and

(01:18:35):
it's nice and warm, becomes a Persian rug.

Speaker 3 (01:18:37):
Hey, there you go. You feel me, you feel you
feel me? In the Heights was one of the roles.
You know that I felt like you had the most
fun shooting or my wrong It just looks so fun.

Speaker 2 (01:18:48):
It was fun, right, it was fun. I was dancing, singing,
and acting.

Speaker 3 (01:18:53):
Broadway Broadway a musical musical. I didn't get to see
it on Broadway. Sopt for me to be part of
the movie. I was like, wow, this is pretty cool.
It's super cool.

Speaker 2 (01:19:03):
Rave Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:19:04):
I was so glad.

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
You know, when that project came to the big screen
and the amount of money that they put behind it,
I was like.

Speaker 3 (01:19:11):
The genius. I saw In the Heights in the theater
and it was it was.

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
It came during COVID.

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
No no, no, no, no no, I'm talking about Broadway.

Speaker 2 (01:19:21):
Theater with them Broadway Theater me. I'm yeah, yes, hell
a lot. I'm going back. I'm going back.

Speaker 3 (01:19:29):
Yeah, it's Navi.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
I remember that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:30):
I was just I felt so anytime that anything Latino
comes to Broadway.

Speaker 3 (01:19:35):
I'm a Broadway girl.

Speaker 1 (01:19:36):
I've seen musicals probably like forty fifty musicals like that's
just my jam. And I remember when In the Heights came,
I was like, this is amazing, this is for us.
And when they brought it to the big screen and
I saw it, I was like, yes, my girl, because
I've always identified a lot with you, you know, with
the body with the Dominican, you know, with being from
New York. So it's like you're my girl when I

(01:19:59):
see you in a probat to come like I'm in
that project. Yes, the girls in the heights, Yes, I said, yes,
not going.

Speaker 3 (01:20:08):
Mommy. I always had that problem, always shorter in the back.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
It was.

Speaker 3 (01:20:17):
It was very special for me to do that because
I was shooting in the heights in Washington High. You
know I can move, I can.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
You know you fluid?

Speaker 1 (01:20:33):
Your body was fluid because with Dya, you know you
were very.

Speaker 2 (01:20:39):
Good, right Charlie.

Speaker 3 (01:20:41):
To day I meet up said cool, ain't nobody was
with you in that movie. I'll tell you that.

Speaker 2 (01:20:49):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:20:50):
I don't know it was because I love you so much.
I was just so focused. But there's something that I
feel like that I thought about then before I forget.
I have always been conscious about growing up in urban
in an urban community, okay, And I think that when
I first started out auditioning in Hollywood, that was something
that was you know, that was a feedback, Oh, she's

(01:21:10):
a little bit too urban.

Speaker 2 (01:21:12):
And I love my urbanness.

Speaker 3 (01:21:15):
I love that we can talk about like we're in Brooklyn,
we're here, and we're gonna do this and then we're
gonna go to Broadway and then like people come from
everywhere in the world to New York, like people die
to come here. Like we were swiping our hair to
the right with Mad Joe all these baby is that
everybody does.

Speaker 1 (01:21:31):
We've been doing that originators, But I feel you with
that she's too urban. I remember I auditioned for a
radio show at Serious Exam and I sent it my aircheck,
which is kind of like my audition, and they were like,
she sounds to New York. Can you go back and

(01:21:51):
do it again and sound less New York? And I'm like,
how the fuck is that possible? And I remember wanting
the job and going in and redoing it. I didn't
know how I was gonna sound less New York, but
I figured, okay, let me just not put too much
sauce on it. And I said it again and they
were like, oh, she still sounds to New York. And
you know what I said, I don't want the fucking job.

(01:22:12):
Peace the fuck out. I am New York. How am
I gonna strip who I am so I can get
a show? And I understand the show was gonna be nationwide,
and they didn't want people to be like, I'm listening
to a girl in New York, but guess what, I'm
proud of being from New York.

Speaker 3 (01:22:26):
And I said, I don't want the shit normal.

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
I have everybody from all over peace, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
You know, granted this is like nine years ago, but
I remember them trying to tell.

Speaker 3 (01:22:35):
Me, can you be less New York? No, that's not
a fucking thing, bro, I can't be less than what
I am? And can you believe that I even have
had to like audition for things. And then I'm like,
first of all, what's a true American accent?

Speaker 2 (01:22:49):
Right? There is ones that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:50):
Could be a Southern because they're Southern bells. Honey, there's
super country shit that I don't understand. Yeah, like when
you go to Louisiana, New Orleans, I think they're like
close to how we talk little bit, but they have
a little when they start talking Creole. I couldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:23:03):
I've been to Louisiana, and I was just like, I'm
having a hard time understanding some people.

Speaker 3 (01:23:08):
So it becomes a thing of why not make that
a voice of America?

Speaker 2 (01:23:17):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:23:17):
Like, maybe this is a voice that America needs to
hear more versus like, oh no, that's too urban or
that's too New York. It could be New York, like
there's New Yorkers that move to Oklahoma. Like it just
doesn't make sense to me sometimes, And I get it.
We want to be as authentic as we can be,
but you're stripping me from my authenticity, especially.

Speaker 2 (01:23:37):
Like when you're doing radio and stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (01:23:39):
And I get like, for role sometimes like I have
to like understand it American accent, or I have to
be more like put the Spanish in it or what.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
Else I said?

Speaker 1 (01:23:52):
Definitely, because it's what you're portraying, and you're portraying a character,
which sometimes is like that's not who the character is.

Speaker 3 (01:23:59):
Right, But everything is malleable when you're in control of
making those things, right, unless it's like a biography.

Speaker 1 (01:24:05):
Well yeah, that right there is just like nah, like
when you're portraying a real human, good luck to you
because you have to learn, you know, everything about them,
their mannerisms.

Speaker 3 (01:24:17):
There's no playing with it right pretty much. But Joe,
I'm owning a lot of stuff. I think in where
are you right now? Music? Can we talk music?

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:24:28):
You know, I've been making music for the last.

Speaker 2 (01:24:31):
Couple of years.

Speaker 3 (01:24:32):
What would you label your genre? Who got you into music?
Can we talk? I used to write raps when I
was little, I said, you know, I found my little
rap diary that I have.

Speaker 2 (01:24:47):
Yeah, nothing, that's what you were listening to?

Speaker 3 (01:24:49):
What you relate more on here? Growing up?

Speaker 1 (01:24:51):
Here was hip hop or but I can't believe you
have the book. That's what I can't believe.

Speaker 3 (01:24:55):
And it's just one little book that I found with
little things, because everything else I don't know where it is.
But anyways, always performer was in me just singing all
that wasn't like accessible to me. You know, you don't
maybe in the chorus. I used to sing in church
and that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
And Hallelujah all that stuff, you know Cohen Stadio.

Speaker 3 (01:25:22):
Acting Toes' When I became an actress, and I was like, yo,
I shouldn't do music because I want to Like, I
want to write music.

Speaker 2 (01:25:30):
I want to hear my music and shows, you know,
or perform. I want to be in a festival performer,
you know, like you want to perform. Of course I
want to perform, like now, yeah, I want to perform.

Speaker 3 (01:25:44):
You want to perform. We have a stage at the
one sixteen festival. Do you want to perform there?

Speaker 2 (01:25:48):
Are you?

Speaker 3 (01:25:49):
Well, you're not ready for that. I don't know if
I'm ready. Let's hear the music. I'm gonna show you
the music. Do you tell me?

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
We make it happen.

Speaker 3 (01:25:54):
So I have a lot of music that I've been
recording and working on and writing. I went to Berkeley
Online because I wanted to be taken serious because a
lot of the feedback is like, oh, you're an actor.
Everybody does that. They go because they feel like you're
gonna dibble and dabble, like, oh so what, who doesn't.

Speaker 1 (01:26:09):
There's a lot of models that act, and like, let's
just let's just leave it at Jennifer Lopus. Please, let's
just leave it at Jena perf I love rare beauty.
I love all her stuff. I love her and Benny
Blanco and I met her and she's such a nice person.

Speaker 2 (01:26:31):
I love her.

Speaker 3 (01:26:32):
She's a little sweetie.

Speaker 2 (01:26:33):
I see you.

Speaker 3 (01:26:35):
She gives me sweet girl.

Speaker 2 (01:26:36):
She's very sweet.

Speaker 3 (01:26:37):
But anyways, the point is that we only limit ourselves
when we start listening to what people gotta say to us.

Speaker 2 (01:26:43):
And I am I am, I am guilty of that.

Speaker 3 (01:26:48):
I have limited myself in pursuing certain things because of
listening to other people. So I decided ten years ago
or so, I was like, yo, I want to make music.
I want to make music. That's me started because he
had a studio in the world Loud, which is like, oh,
so you really got to connect with him like that.

(01:27:09):
That's how he made me fall for him. Honey was
in the studio like nobody ever lady so.

Speaker 2 (01:27:18):
Me I March calls us beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:27:27):
The Berkeley Online. I started taking my songwriting classes so
I could understand the dolls, what the language is in
the room because it's a male dominated industry. And I
was in the studio late at night recording on people,
but just recording references. I wasn't able to like really,
you know. And now I'm here, I'm like, yeah, I'm ready.

(01:27:48):
I don't care where I'm at in my life. I
don't care how I am happy for this. I want
to share what I've been working on. It is what
it is, And so what's the plan you want to
do a single? Have an e P.

Speaker 2 (01:28:03):
I'm working on a EP.

Speaker 3 (01:28:04):
The woman has an e P. I this.

Speaker 2 (01:28:09):
Gray, I'm thinking. I'm like.

Speaker 3 (01:28:13):
I released singles.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
Both both and it's like World Dance.

Speaker 3 (01:28:21):
I love this for you. I love this for you.

Speaker 1 (01:28:23):
Whichever way I can be involved or whatever we can
facilitate when you're ready for your press runs, whatever stations
you need to hit.

Speaker 3 (01:28:31):
I want this for you. I want this for you.
You know It's like, do you feel like you're doing
it for X in a way? Yeah, I was gonna
do it for him regardless. I was his biggest supporter
seeing it through all the way, Like, how how proud
would he be? Amazing?

Speaker 2 (01:28:50):
He believed in you? He's not He's o K.

Speaker 3 (01:28:53):
I can see it. He believed in you. Yeah, I'm
gonna bring home what he was gonna bring home, bring
it home so he knows.

Speaker 2 (01:29:01):
I'm not done.

Speaker 3 (01:29:06):
Music now. As far as acting, what are we looking
for right now? So are we streaming that? We're streaming
The Walking Dead? This episode a MC, a m C plus.
This is me in a new like I have discovered
myself as an actor that I love. I love villain rolls.
I love a villain, a good villain, and I'm good

(01:29:30):
at it in this role. I'm You're gonna see me
how you've never seen me before? And uh, I'm really
proud of it. You said, I'm in lifetime Terra Comes Knocking,
because you're not in my own stunts for that, you
did my own stunts started. First of all, I did
a lot of stunts for Orange right, but then I

(01:29:50):
started with my own stunts. And when I did it
with Sylvester Stallone that movie The Good Samaritan, Why do
You Smell? I was like, you know what, I'm gonna
keep on doing it with Terror Comes Knocking.

Speaker 2 (01:30:04):
That movie.

Speaker 3 (01:30:04):
Look, it was just like erratic, chaotic, and it was
a true story, the walking there being star and it's good.
I'm like, why not if I'm athletic and I'm and
I have that agility that I have. Clara say, they're

(01:30:30):
not jeopard is a star, you know. But they also
allowed me to like develop my character and play with
idiots and Oka put us say, I see, honey that
she's she's a writer. And I'm pretty sure you know
her books. She's called the Sofia. I forgot what one

(01:30:51):
the book that you might know her for because she's
Dominican Puerto Rican. She's a great author, Arthur uh So,
he said, author.

Speaker 1 (01:31:00):
You know the problem is that we speak English, we
seek Spanish outdoor author.

Speaker 2 (01:31:05):
Author.

Speaker 3 (01:31:06):
It's Okay, it's okay, it's okay. That happens to me
all the time. I mean, the man, what are you writing? Script?
She has a couple of scripts that we've worked on,
but that she's written. But We're gonna start writing novels
and I'm gonna keep on collaborating with my people, you know,
like anything that I could do to collaborate with people.

(01:31:29):
I tell you, you offer yourself to me. I offer
myself to you in any way possible that we can collaborate.
We are because I cannot continue to wait for the
job to come to me. We have created our space. Yeah,
we have to create it, and it's it's fun. It
allows us to like really like be as authentic as
we can be. It's our narrative.

Speaker 1 (01:31:48):
So really, you know, that's one of the reasons why
I created this podcast, because I didn't want to keep thinking, oh,
we don't in the building, we don't have anything for Latinos.
And even I was like, oh, can I this station
into a Latino station?

Speaker 3 (01:32:01):
And you know, no, you cannot.

Speaker 1 (01:32:04):
So I said, you know what, then I'll create a
podcast where I can have Latino guests, whether it be rappers, actors, photographers,
whoever it is, I'm going to create here in New York,
inside of our building. I'll create something that is for us.
So you know, just exactly what you said. We can't
wait for opportunities to come to us. We have to
create them. And the way things are now, we can

(01:32:28):
create so much, so many tools social media. You could
look at Easter Racey, she created Insecure on YouTube like
don't wait, don't think like, oh, I can only do
something if I'm in Hollywood with a huge budget. There's
music videos that are shot with an iPhone.

Speaker 3 (01:32:46):
So many tools there is just applying it that we
didn't have at all. So it's about applying it, and
it's about using your network too.

Speaker 1 (01:32:53):
Oh no, one hundred percent and building your network and
reciprocating what do you need, Like you know, you to
time out of your schedule today and you came and
sat down with me so we can create this episode.
Same when you're ready and you're like, you know what, honey,
here's my music, I'm gonna be like, how do I
get behind this?

Speaker 2 (01:33:10):
What do you need?

Speaker 3 (01:33:11):
Where do you need to go?

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
So that's something that I've been preaching this entire season
that it's about creating community and not just taking but giving.

Speaker 3 (01:33:21):
Yeah, And it's about venturing on into things that you
thought you would never venture out to either. Like I'm
getting into the tech space. I just invested in partnered
with this new app from my friend Hugo. It's called
Modi and Modi m Oti Ti okay, And I feel
like I feel like I've met Hugo. You have to

(01:33:43):
know Hugo and the app too. Like I'm going to
support my people when I'm going to start. We need
to be in the spaces that we need to be
in because we can be. And so that's the new
thing that I'm getting. And so I'm getting into the
tech space. He will and I we go way back

(01:34:04):
and he's been He's about tech.

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
You know, that's his thing.

Speaker 3 (01:34:08):
He's a Puerto Rican man that has a huge story
also and that is doing his thing. And you know,
I'm like, I'm of course I would.

Speaker 2 (01:34:17):
I would. Why not? Why am I not gonna support you?
So that's my new thing.

Speaker 3 (01:34:21):
I'm doing the music, I'm doing my tech, I'm doing
the Modi. I'm a partner with Modi. I'm writing, you're writing.
I'm gonna make my own ship, my movies, I'm gonna
put my our people, whoever is my supporter, whatever that that,
whoever that is, they'll be there and ready when I
need them to be. Wow, you're busy. You're busy, You're creating.

(01:34:47):
We're so proud of me. It's so easy to give up,
right when when we go through hardships, it's so easy
to just stay in bed and give up. And I've
seen you, oh Dash, yeah, oh Dasha.

Speaker 2 (01:34:58):
Yeah. You know.

Speaker 3 (01:35:00):
I could have gave up. I could have never walked again.
And I said, you know what, I'm gonna learn how
to walk again.

Speaker 2 (01:35:06):
And here we are.

Speaker 1 (01:35:07):
What I'm doing here today. I never thought I was
gonna do again, and I do things and I'm like, wow,
I never thought I would swim again, but I pushed forward.
And you know, if you're listening and you're going through
some shit that you feel like you're not gonna make
it out of, you are. But it takes a lot
of willpower, a lot of determination, and a lot of

(01:35:29):
you know, belief in yourself. You can't second guess yourself
every day, day in and day out, and then expect
a miracle or something big to happen. Because let me
tell you one thing, Dasha. When I was in the
hospital and I see you after I had brain surgery
and the doctor said, move your leg.

Speaker 3 (01:35:45):
I said that leg doesn't work. And a lot of
doctors told me may never come back, you may never
be who you were ever again. And you know, I said,
fuck that, I.

Speaker 1 (01:35:56):
Am going to be who I was. And it was
a lot of work and it was a It was
five years ago that I had my stroke and here
I am today. You cannot give up. You won't get
knocked down on your ass. You know you're going to have,
you know, illnesses, you might get incarcerated, you might experience homelessness,
you might experience domestic violence. But you can make it

(01:36:17):
out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:36:19):
You can.

Speaker 3 (01:36:20):
And success is success again. The success is you being
able to put one foot in front of the other. Amen,
one foot in front of the other, and take a breath.
Because I've had to take a moment and take a breath.
And when everything is in disarray around you, when you're
not connecting to even your home, because your home is
not what you want it to be, then you need

(01:36:41):
to take a moment and take a breath.

Speaker 2 (01:36:44):
Because it's so easy to quit.

Speaker 3 (01:36:46):
It is so easy to quit, but It's so much
more rewarding when you're able to like put that foot
in front of the other, take a breath, and look
back and say, oh shit, look at where I'm at
right now, look.

Speaker 1 (01:37:01):
At me, and you look back and you're like, wow,
I came a long way. But just like you said it,
one step at a time, and you gotta get up
to take those steps. Can't take them from your bed,
can't take them from your couch.

Speaker 2 (01:37:18):
You know, I.

Speaker 3 (01:37:40):
Feel like I feel like we should end it here,
Like what else can we say, because we're we're on
the uplifting. No, baby, there's no end here. There isn't
there's just keeping a movement, keeping our movement. We're ascending.
And I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 2 (01:37:53):
I'm so glad to be part of this.

Speaker 3 (01:37:56):
Amen, and I am. I am more than you know.
And and we don't know each other from before. We're
not friends from childhood or anything, but we know that
we are sisters because we we're.

Speaker 1 (01:38:09):
Kindred spirits, like we connect and I want to see
you win and you want to see me win, and
I want to thank you. You know, this is our
last episode of the season, and I couldn't have picked
a better person to end it with. But with the
icon the legend LA writer artists act, don't.

Speaker 2 (01:38:36):
Dash.

Speaker 1 (01:38:36):
I really really thank you for sitting down with me today.
Thanks for being vulnerable. Thank you sharing as much as
you did.

Speaker 2 (01:38:42):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:38:50):
Link Grass Yes Come Again.

Speaker 1 (01:38:58):
Grasses Come Again is a production of Honey German Productions,
in partnership with Iheart's Makundura podcast network

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