December 9, 2024 • 48 mins
In this episode, Granger and Amber dive into another heartfelt listener question from a young anonymous listener in Utah who is struggling with lust, how it affects his personality, and finding redemption through faith. Granger shares wisdom on controlling natural impulses, God's design for marriage, and the path to fulfillment without shame. Plus, the couple shares a lighthearted update on Granger’s battle with poison oak—don’t miss Amber’s hilarious take on his “minimalist” wardrobe!
Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments and if you got a question email podcast@grangersmith.com !
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast. Got my favorite guest
on here. And it's not Bernie, and it's not Chad
or Parker or Marshall or London or a man or
say that to everybody or London. Yeah, it's you Amber,
my wife. I don't say that to everybody, do I? Yeah,
my favorite guest. How could I? I would be wrong
if I said that. Maybe didn't mean you. Okay, So
(00:35):
I get Amber on here. And anytime I have other guests,
I like, we plan it, usually put on the calendar.
But with you, I'm like, hey, can you please come
home the podcast real quick? And Maverick's taking a nap.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, I just put him down and he's like, let's
go to a podcast. So we have a solid maybe
two hours.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah, so thank you. What we do is we answer
your questions. Email me podcast at grangersmith dot com. We'll
walk through the question and like two friends sitting in
the cap of a truck, you have a question, you
ask it, and I don't have any notes in front
of me or famous quotes, even though maybe I could
pull a couple up, but I'll just answer you like
like I would a good friend. And that's the format.
(01:14):
Of this podcast. Currently, I'm coming to you. I'm very itchy,
so itchy, so itchy. I got tangled up into some
poison oak that we know of. Yeah, probably poison oak,
maybe poison ivy, although I've never had poison ivy in
my life. I've actually never had poison oak either. But
(01:35):
I just happened to be clearing some cedar and cut
up a tree and it was wrapped all in it
with poison oak vine. And this time of year it's
ripe like red. Those leaves are red and they just
look scary.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, he's got it pretty.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
They're pretty, but they're scary. It looks like a red oak. Yeah,
the vine.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
You were out there with mav.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Too, out there with Maverick. And I'm actually having on
my eyebrow and my eye lid and under my right eye,
all under my chin, behind my left ear, all around
my growing and the biggest parts on my side, my
rib cage on my left side. Yeah, And I think
that's where it started because there's some scratches and I
(02:19):
think it entered my bloodstream and it's just my flesh
is screaming at me.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Also, Granger is a minimalist, and if you know him.
You know this, but he likes to re wear the
same hoodie a couple days in a row, has the
same T shirt, the same T shirt under it. And
I said, babe, what were you wearing when you cut
this ceedar? The hoodie that he has on now? And
I said, a week ago, let's wash it. Let me
wash it because you're just putting the same oil over
(02:46):
your head. That's probably why it's on your eye and
your ear. But anyway, he's it you today, guys, that
was a really.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Good point you made, Like you really got me.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I even thought about this morning because I saw the
hoodie laying there and I was like, he's probably gonna
put that back on. I bet that's what he was wearing.
I should have just taken it and washed it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Because I'm like, how's it getting behind my ear and
under my chin and on my eye and on my cheek?
And everyone's like, hey, what clothes were you wearing a
week ago when you're cutting that seedar? And I was like,
this actually in this hat?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Okay, all of it, So that's what it is.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
But what am I going to wear? If you watch
this though?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Well, we do have an apparel company. I think you
can find another yee hoodie.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Okay, should we get to a question. This is from Megan,
and she says, this is kind of a complicated topic.
Imagine that she says, you could see my children's You see,
my children's father is not a believer in the gospel,
but I am. We are no longer together. But this
(03:54):
is a topic that is thrown in my face on
a regular basis. Just recently he approached me and my
children were not to be brainwashed by the church and
taught to fear hell. I obviously have a different stance
on this topic, but to avoid an argument, I'm trying
to figure out a way to plant a seed in
his heart to reconsider Christ is good and we all
(04:17):
need him. I think I'm just asking for advice on
how to plant that seed so we could be in
unity when it comes to teaching our children in the Gospel.
It actually sounds like a complicated question, but it's actually not.
That's very normal, Megan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is
(04:39):
a situation that so many people are in, so many
of our friends, so many people that we know, and
they say.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They're no longer together. I mean, this is the situation
that some of our friends are together in dealing with this.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, and some are not. Yeah, we're not, and so
much so it is. I say it's common, and I
don't say that to minimize the the severity of it,
but it is common enough that even the apostle Paul
speaks about it, not the separated part, but being with
(05:09):
an unbeliever.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
This is biblical.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yeah, it is biblical. Some people believe in some people don't.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Until the veil is removed from their eyes, until the
Lord changes their hearts. So she's asking about how can
I plant seeds for him? And I would just advise
you to keep living your life the way that you
are as and have as much grace for him as
you can and kindness for him as you can. But
you and your girls, I think I think she said today,
have girls pray for his heart, pray for his heart
(05:39):
to be changed, because you guys can't do it. You
can plant seeds, and you can just speak openly and
just say, you know, the Lord is my savior and
we believe in what the Bible says. And I'm taking
our girls to church because you're not together, so he's
technically not the head of your home anymore now if
you guys are married, this would be a different, different talk.
But you aren't together anymore, or so you are taking
(06:01):
your girls and your your submission is first to the Lord.
So you need to be doing what is what is
what the Bible says to do, which is train your
children up in the way that they should go, and
take your girls to church, your children to church, pray
for this man's heart to be changed, and have your
girls pray pray for him.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
That's where first of all, I don't know where you're
getting girls.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
What did you not? Did she not say girls?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I don't see it, but it says children children.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I'm sorry, maybe I don't know. I just put girls
in there.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
So the idea of your children are not to be brainwashed.
His children are not to be brainwashed. I don't blame them,
because that's a legitimate concern that any child would be
brainwashed by some kind of system or manipulation or anything
that would be that that would be false or wrong
or what could hurt them in a way. And so
(06:56):
you could use that and say you could talk to
the brainwashing part of it and just say, hey, our
children are are free to think and choose and and
listen to and contemplate of many ideas. And so if
you want to, if you want to dig in with
(07:19):
them about the Bible, I'd be happy to sit with you.
And we could even have one of our pastors at
our church come and sit. We could we could dig
in to understand kind of the the history of it,
the working of it, so that there's not a mystery.
And you know, many times when someone digs deep like that,
(07:40):
they actually find the truth it because it's undeniable. So
there is there is that. But but I besides the
telling the gospel, which is the seed, there is only
one seed. You say, how do I plant the seed? This?
There is only one seed, and that is the Gospel.
And that is the story the good news that God
(08:01):
came to reconcile sinners through his son Jesus, God knowing
that people could not be good enough to come to him,
that could not fulfill his law, and that were because
he's a just God, and sinners deserve hell for rebelling
against him, because he's a holy God and can't have
corruption around him, and because we are ourselves guilty of it,
(08:23):
of committing that crime against him. Then knowing that we
could not be good enough, and knowing that if he
didn't do something, if he didn't act in that he
would be alone in heaven because there would be no
one else. And that's not to say that he wouldn't
that he would be unhappy. God, the triyuing God in
(08:44):
himself has enough love in himself and enjoy and happiness.
He doesn't need anything else. He doesn't need people, but
through his mercy in his creation, through his people, seeing
that people had no way to get to him, that
they were all corrupt, that all had turned, that all
were evil, that no one was good, not even won.
(09:04):
The Bible says God, in his mercy in instead of
giving us justice that we deserved, he gave mercy to
his people, coming to earth in the person of the
son of Jesus, going to the cross, becoming a replacement,
a substitute, taking the sins of the world onto his
(09:27):
own body on the cross, and then for those that
looked to him and his resurrection as God raised him
from the dead, defeating death, becoming the ultimate sacrifice for sin.
As people looked to him, turned from their old ways
and looked to him and trust the forgiveness of their sins.
Through that sacrifice to them. He says, You'll be with
(09:50):
me in eternity. That's the way we get to God.
It is not by our own good works. That's the
good news. That's the only seed you could plant. You
could say that story in a bunch of different ways,
but that is the only seed you could plant. So
and you don't have to plan it over and over
and over. Sometimes we think I got to tell him
the gospel again today, Not necessarily. If he hears it
(10:11):
and understands it, you could move on and just love him. Yeah,
just live a life that makes Christ look awesome, and
love him and forgive him and be gentle and practice
humility around them. And that's the only thing you could do.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, don't be naggy like you need to go to
church or are you know, live your life. A lot
of people they can see by how you live and
sometimes just by the way that you're living out your
life and your faith. It makes them want to know
more about that. Well, why does she have this light?
Why does she have this joy? So that's a way
that you could plant a seed. But you can also
(10:52):
just invite him, just keep inviting him to church, have
him to come to church with you just say I'd
love for you to join us. If he says no, fine,
but maybe one day he'll say yes. And just keep
praying for him.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah. Yeah, let's get another question. Blaine says, Hey, Granger,
my wife and I are going through a divorce because
of past decisions I've made, including stealing, lying, manipulating, alcohol abuse,
financial infidelity. We have four kids, ages two to nine.
(11:22):
We've been separated for almost a year now, with a
divorce being on pause currently because she started a new
job and it's been stressful for her to deal with
it all. My main question is this. I was baptized
about nine months ago, and I've been involved in a
regeneration program at my church. Through this, I've learned more
and more about spiritual warfare. I do feel, due to
(11:42):
my lack of spiritual knowledge, that I was in a
very dark place in my life when I chose to steal,
chose to drink and hide it, chose to manipulate anyone
close to me to think I was a good man.
Now that I'm grown in my faith, it's hard for
me to understand divorce. When I talk about being in
a very dark place with my wife, it's labeled as
(12:02):
an excuse. It's hard to hear, but I would love
your thoughts. Thanks blame. Did you understand that last part? Yeah, yeah,
explain it to me.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
She was saying. He's saying, now that he realizes he
was in a dark place. I think it's coming across
as when he says that to her and he's realizing
all these things. She's she's making him feel like that's
just an excuse.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
That makes sense. Yeah, I think you're right, and and
it's hard to blame her.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, when you're hurt and betrayed.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And this is another story we see a lot. It's like, Hey,
I've you know, I abused you in so many ways
by stealing, lying, manipulating, alcohol, financial infidelity. I've done all
this stuff so much so that I've basically run you
out of the house and stressed you out beyond your wits.
But guess what, I've been baptized, and I'm in this
(12:53):
new program at church, and I'm a change. I'm changed, babe,
And now I have a bunch of knowledge about spiritual warfare.
And now I know that that wasn't me that was
doing all that stuff. That was the devil. And so
I'm changed now. And she's like, get out of here.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Well, it's been nine months. I mean I would I
would think nine months since his baptism and this program.
Nine months is a pretty long time to be able
to see fruit or evidence of a change like art
is he has he done any of those things in
the last nine months.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
We also don't know if.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
She right, and we don't know if she's a believer,
because praise the Lord if he is, if he is
in this new if you got.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Baptized, yeah, blad, I'm not minimizing. I'm just saying. I'm
saying from her perspective, she's like, get.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Out of here, right, She's like, I don't believe you.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Yeah, that's the worldly thing is not believing in a
changed heart. But praise the Lord if your heart has
changed and you're working on it. And I also find
it interesting that the divorce is on pause. The word
has put it on pause for this time, maybe so
you guys could work it out.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, that's that's a total grace that you don't deserve
blame that all of a sudden there's there's a you know,
a new wind has blown and it is everything's on pause.
So because this new.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Job you've got some time.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You've got you've got time, and and every second is
critical in this.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, like Granger said, you can't obviously you probably you
can't blame her. You've lived with her, You've known what
you've done, and we are like, we don't know if
she's a believer. We are called to forgive. And I
believe that any marriage can be redeemed and restored no
matter what has happened, if both parties are repentant and
willing and ready to come together again, and both of
you chase after Christ. So I would use this time
(14:41):
pour into her as much as you can try to
make up for that lost time. Keep praying, pray together,
pray for her, serve her in ways that you hadn't before,
and hopefully she will be able to see fruit and
and hopefully come around and maybe try to give this
one more shot. Yeah, I mean, obviously the Lord is
placed it on hold for a reason. So start dating
(15:02):
each other again.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Let's say too that Blaine, this is where if we
were in a cap of a truck, I would start
asking some questions back to you. But one of the
questions is you say I was baptized nine months ago.
What I would prefer you to say, is I become
a Christian nine months ago and was baptized. I would
prefer it worded like that, like the Lord saved me
(15:25):
nine months ago. After all this, then through his word,
the Lord radically saved me, and then I was baptized
as a response to the saving. And what I hope
I'm not hearing here or reading from this email, is
that you were in a really dark place and everything
was falling apart, including your marriage, and you're like, well,
(15:46):
I may able to just go to the church and
get baptized, Like maybe that'll help me, Because the answer
is it won't. You. Being dunked in some water absolutely
means nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, a lot of people do that in a very
part season.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
It means nothing unless the Lord has saved you and
given you a new heart and radically turned your life
around back towards him. And you say, I'm all in Jesus.
What do I do in your first work and obedience
to Him is to get baptized and to testify in
front of the church that you're now a new creation.
(16:19):
And everyone sees you go in the water and comes
back up, and then you walk as a new creation
in the good works that have been that have been
planned for you by Him. And so that's what I
hope is part of this regeneration program at your church.
I don't know necessarily what that means, but just walking
(16:40):
with the members of your church, serving in your church,
being held accountable by the other members of your church
as you hold them accountable as well as Christians. And
instead of saying, though I've learned more and more about
spiritual warfare, great, but what I want you to say
is I've learned more and more about who God. And
(17:01):
so those are the two little nuances that maybe you
meant in your email, but maybe you didn't. But there's
a huge difference between the two things.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, and this is and like I said, we don't
know what's happened in the last nine months, if you have,
if she has seen fruit, or if she hasn't. And
the only thing that might make this work is a
little bit of time and patience with her, if that's
something that you know, broken relationships take time to build
trust back. So I think over time she will see
hopefully see fruit in your life if your heart has
(17:30):
truly been converted and.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
The Lord has used these dark moments of separation and
divorce and loss and grief. The Lord uses those moments
where people well are desperate to fix it, and then
in the fixing, the Lord saves them. But if you
(17:53):
heard the way I described, it's it's a it, it's
kind of backwards. Because what you need, Blaine, and what
you probably maybe you don't even think this, maybe you
don't even know this, but what you need is to
be forgiven of your sins by Jesus. And the only
(18:14):
way you are forgiven is by turning from your old
life and turning to Him and trusting his forgiveness that
he's provided through his work on the Cross. And to
need forgiveness, you need to know what's at stake. If
you don't have it, you need to know you're standing
before God is bad. You're standing for a judge and
(18:37):
he says guilty. And because he is the ultimate judge,
the higher the judge, the bigger the judge, the more
severe the punishment. So if you're standing in front of
your local county courthouse, that's one thing. If you're standing
in front of your state courthouse, that's another thing. If
you're standing in front of the Supreme Court, that gets bigger.
(18:57):
As the court gets bigger, and you're in this story
we're talking about. You're standing in front of the highest court.
You're standing in front of the sovereign God, and he
looks at you and says guilty. And if you recognize
the severity of that charge against you, then the more
you'll need and desire and crave forgiveness that Jesus provides.
(19:22):
Here's my point. I say all that because it sounds
like you're doing this the baptism thing, the program at church,
the learning about spiritual war is to get your wife back,
and your wife is the least of your worries as
a sinner needing forgiveness. Once again, I started this whole
conversation by saying, the Lord uses that uses a I'll
(19:44):
call it a sinful desire of wanting your idol back.
I just want my wife back, It's all I want.
What should I do to get my wife back? Get baptized,
learn the Bible, pray well, whatever, just give me my
idol back and the idols my wife. You need forgiveness.
And when you find forgiveness in Jesus, the forgiveness that
(20:05):
he has provided through giving himself up on the cross
with his own blood when you realize what he's done
and the severity of the crime. Here, the severity of
the crime is easy to understand when you know that
God gave his only son to pay for it. That's
a pretty high price. That is the highest price. And
so when you understand the severity of it, you go,
(20:27):
I don't need my idol. I don't. The wife is
the least of my concerns. But if I have Jesus
and I love him, now I could love my wife
more than I ever did before. And now she's not
an idol. She's a gift from the Lord, and the
Lord has given me this gift in her, and now
I want to serve her and love her and provide
(20:49):
for her and care for her, and not raise my
voice and anger against her or abuse her with my words,
with alcohol or financial whatever. So that's how this is
how the river flows. It flows that direction, and so
blame if you hear anything from this whole conversation. Don't
ever get baptized to get the girl back. Anybody listening,
(21:11):
don't get baptized, don't go to church, don't pray. Don't
do that with the means of getting getting your wife
back or the girl back. Don't let that be the
end of the means. Let the Lord let seeking forgiveness,
seeking his grace and mercy be the end, and then
(21:32):
through seeking that, everything else will fall into place. Just
a reminder if you want to get a hold of
me in any way or have me make you a
video message from my phone, you could do that by
going to cameo dot com slash granger Smith. You enter
the information you want me to say, like say happy
birthday to my brother, he's a fan of your music.
(21:53):
Whatever that might be, happy anniversary, maybe just a word
of encouragement, especially for people this time of year that
are hard to buy for you don't know what to
get them, or it's last minute. Go to cameo dot
com slash granger Smith and I'll make you a video
message however you want me to say it.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
We're back.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
We're back. So if you want to email me podcast
at grangersmith dot com and put your question and you
could ask anything you want. I don't even care ask
anything you want. I wish I had some what's it
called klumine? Calumine?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I put some on your side for your face.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I need some from my neck, my neck. It is yeah,
we'll finish this podcast and now I'll give you. I
will gladly give you this hoodie to wash. Okay, you
remember the last time you washed it?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Because you usually don't put it in the dirty clothes.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
It's just you just lay it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
So I could pick it up the next time I
need it.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
No, I just need to grab it and wash it.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
This might be a lesson for me and for everyone.
Wash your clothes. Wash your clothes kids. Adam, hopefully you
don't have that same question. Adam says, Hey, gring your
my name is Adam and I'm a huge fan. I've
been following your podcast since you first started it. I
tune in every Monday for it. I also watch your
teachings on YouTube. Man, Adam, thank you. You might be
the only one that tunes in every Monday. Appreciate you. Man,
(23:14):
I'm making this podcast just for you, he says. My
question that I bring to you is how do I,
as a twenty three year old, go about meeting someone.
I'm heavily introverted and it takes me a little bit
to open up to new people, so it's tough for me.
Whenever I go to a bar or any social gathering
to try and talk to new people. I've always struggled
(23:34):
with it, and I try to start up a conversation
with new people that try to break this habit. Is
there anywhere in the Bible that may teach or help
me see this differently? I would love to hear your
thoughts or advice on how I could break this.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Adam, I feel like we answered a question like that
on the last one that I was with with maybe
find an introverted guy looking to find I think he
was looking to find a girl, though, So.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
We're going to dive in like we're cab of a
truck here. And first of all, Man, thank you for
the encouragement of watching the podcast. I love that youtune
in every Monday. That's really encouraging for me. I honestly
sometimes wonder if anyone's listening or watching or just kind
of scanning the scan in the YouTube. Okay, yeah, maybe
(24:25):
twenty three years old, super young. I'm not worried about
you running out of time anytime soon. A lot of
people will say things like that, like I know I'm
getting up there in age, or you're not. You got
a long time heavily introverted. Great, that's what makes the
world go round. There's nothing that I would ever tell
(24:48):
you that say you shouldn't be introverted, or in order
to meet someone you need to be extroverted. No one's
ever going to tell you that or that would be wrong.
That's your personality. You say, it's tough to go to
a bar or social gathering and try to talk to
new people, so you try to break the habit by
(25:09):
striking up conversations with new people. I don't know, I mean,
maybe that's healthy, the practice opening up to new people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I mean, I feel like he's twenty three. So when
was COVID five years ago? Yeah, you know, I feel
like there has been a disservice to the kids, teenagers,
young adults in that area where everybody just secluded themselves
and locked themselves up and everything became online talking. And
(25:38):
I know we've dealt with social media for a lot,
way longer than that, but I feel like something about
this age range, there's a lot of people that seem
to be very introverted and find it hard to talk
to people. Yeah, and that's just the world we live
in now. I think everybody is so much on their
screen and not going out and meeting new people. So
it makes it weird whenever we have to actually go
out and have a conversation with people. I mean, I
find out when I go out even to restaurants and
(26:00):
people don't even look.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
At you or talk to you.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
So maybe that's not the case for him, but I
feel like that entranged. I hear a lot of people
that struggle with that, being introverted, being led through that
COVID season of being stuck by themselves.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
So his question is is there anywhere in the Bible
that may help or teach a way to see this differently?
He says, that's an interesting question.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
That's an interesting question.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well, first of all, the short answers know. The short
answers know the Bible doesn't address dating. Dating is really
a new issue, and it's we have invented this in
modern history. We don't know anything about the for instance,
the Apostles, we don't know anything about their wives. Specifically Peter,
(26:47):
he would be the one that we the only one
maybe that we actually have a word from, but we
don't know anything about her or how they met. But
certainly in first century Judaism it was arranged, or it wasn't.
It wasn't at all in the context of we think
courting is today. In the fact that's I would have
(27:10):
to I would have to dive in. And I've never
really studied that history of courting, but I'm assuming it's
two hundred years maybe, and it's at most maybe a
little more, maybe three hundred years since people actually courted
each other. But typically it would be just someone's gonna,
(27:32):
for lack of a better term, someone's gonna set you
up or arrange it. And I mean, certainly in ancient times,
this is the only way you were arranged by a family. I,
as a father of a thirteen year old daughter, am
totally down for arranging. It's not gonna happen, but I
(27:52):
feel like that would be pretty awesome. Like me and
you we go and find like a really good family
that we already have a couple in mind. I already
have a couple in mind, and I'd be like, hey, okay,
and I would go present the dowry to the other family,
like I'll give you my daughter and thirty thousand dollars. God,
(28:13):
you know, some girls might need a little bit more
to because it's worth getting them on the house, I
would assume, but Adam all that to say, No, the Bible,
I'm kidding. The Bible doesn't speak about dating or getting
over being an introvert. So you could date.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
But I will tell you what the Bible does speak
on is that God created us for community and created
us not to do things in isolation. Yes, And so
I would say, are you involved as a local member
of a church of a local church? I think so?
And I feel like I say that on every single podcast,
Every single question that we have about this is people
ask how do I meet people? How do I meet people?
How do I meet people? I feel weird go into bars?
Are you a member of a church?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
You know?
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I feel like so many times you can meet people
through your local church and meet people through families there
or youth events there. You know, you're twenty three, you
might be a little old for the youth, but still
I feel like that is such a special way to
meet new people.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Yeah. No, I totally. I mean, I totally agree. I
think getting involved in things that you love. I've said
this so many times over eight years of this podcast.
Now one of my go to things to say to
this kind of question is find something you love, a hobby,
(29:26):
and go do that, and inevitably you'll look around you
and there'll be someone that shares that common interest. Maybe
you're really into bowling, for instance, like I love bowling.
I go to bowling tournaments, go join a league and
talk to the people, and you might not find a
(29:48):
girl that's bowling with you. But maybe one of the
guys on your team has a sister. And one day
she's twenty one years old and she's visiting from the
next town over and she comes to visit her brother
and you see her and you go wow. And then
here's where the introvert thing comes in. You think, I
am so introverted. I'm scared to say something. So you
(30:10):
go to the brother and you say, man, you know me,
you like me, right, And the guy's like, yeah, I
like you. You're my buddy. I wonder if you would
ever introduce me to your sister. And maybe that's a
bad example because brothers. I've never had a sister, so
I don't know how that goes. But that's just an
example of you don't necessarily need to be extroverted. You
(30:33):
just need to be in community. Yeah, and community, and
the community usually starts with hopefully a church. That's what
Amber and I would encourage. So let's say that that's
already in place. So you've got the church going on,
and then you're also in the chess club, or you're
in the bowling league, or you're in the skeet shooting club,
or you're you like to watch parades? Are you go
(30:57):
to circuses? Are you watch drag racing? I mean like anything,
literally anything you like poodle dog races? I don't know anything.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
There's some favorite hobbies you're not telling me about.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
All you have to do is think what do I
love to do? What do I like to do? You
like to play Mario Brothers. There's a league probably for that.
But get involved in the community, and then hopefully that
involves a church, and hopefully you're also sharing the gospel
why you're in community. And then while you're doing all this,
and you're chasing after Jesus and you look over to
your left and there is someone chasing after him at
(31:35):
the same rate you are, and you say, hey, you
and grab some coffee and she says, yes, I do,
and there's your wife. Yeah, So so take that, Adam.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I was just going to add on the end there.
If you do get yourself involved in in a local body,
even if you're introverted, if it's a healthy church, they're
going to come to you and start talking to you.
Like you might not even have to come out of
your shell per se right at the beginning, but those
people and that church will come to you and say
hey and welcome you in and start about to strike
up a conversation.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Use your family, yeah, you use your mom and your
dad and your siblings, and say, hey, if you know
of anybody, if you know anybody that's singled around my age,
I would love to go on a date. And I
have no Angela is one that that actually happened to.
So are there are people in our friend group that
two parents met at the country club and said, I
(32:27):
have a son that's this age, I have a daughter
that's this age. My son's single, my daughter's single. And
then they talk more and then they say we should
set them up. And that just kind of circumvents the
whole introverted thing. And you don't have to go to
a bar and like impress a girl. That just you
don't have to do that stuff. Next question comes from
(32:49):
anonymous steer granger, I'd like to remain anonymous. I'm thirteen
years old and I live in Utah. Let's hit the
dirt road, he says. So, I struggle with lust, and
when I when I lust, I feel my personality and
the way I handle things change. My question is how
(33:10):
do I not change when I stumble? Because I know
when I lust and when I fail, my slate is
wiped clean by Jesus on the Cross. But there's this
girl I really like who when I hang out with her,
it's the opposite, and I feel disgusted by my lust.
Do you have any tips or anything for me to
(33:30):
turn away from the sin? I love your music and
I love your podcast. Thanks for reading and considering my question.
What a sweet kid, and scary because he's thirteen. Yeah, Heyboddy,
I've once been thirteen so many I'm gonna boldly step
into this situation here, and I'm gonna try it first.
(33:52):
I'm let's try to understand what he's asking. He says,
I struggle with lust, and when I lust, I feel
like my personality and the way I handle things change. Okay,
let's just take that sentence alone. I struggle with lust,
and when I lust, my personality and the way I
handle things change. That is that is the thirteen year
(34:12):
old talking.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
That's speaking lusting. I mean we obviously we don't know.
Is this lust in his mind or is he acting
on this lust?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
He doesn't say, don't know. I don't think so. I
think this is something that struggles with mentally. But what's
happening is the the animal in him? Yeah? Is that's
what he's because he can't explain why his personality changes.
And we look, let's let's be as crude as we can.
Let's say about dogs. When a dog goes in heat,
(34:40):
they change their personality and the way they handle things change. Like,
that's what he's saying. I mom ass cows, right, So
when you separate the bull and the cows and one
of those cows goes in heat, that bull will jump
a barbed wire fence. Yeah, I've never seen it. Personally,
(35:01):
I know they'll break the fence. I've never seen him
jump it, but I have seen him in the pasture
with him Yeah, like, how did he get here? He
jumped from away? His personality and the way he handles things,
The way he handles things. The bull on a normal
day is eat the grass, and hang out and go
get a drink of water. But when he lust, because
(35:22):
of the smell of the heat of the cow, his things,
the way he handles things around the fence change and
he will do anything he can to break it, to
jump it. So that's like physically, that's that's what's happening
to you. You know, we are not cows and we
are not dogs. Were humans are different, and we're different
(35:42):
in that we still had that animal being. We're we're
from the earth were we have We're a creation. We're
not a creator. We are we are creatures. And because
we're creaturely, we have attributes of dogs and cows. And
so the Bible says, the Bible has laid out God
(36:06):
has laid out his word in a way that this
creaturely lust that we have, he has a way that
he directs it, and that is towards marriage, so that
when you're in marriage, then all of these creaturely desires
are satisfied in a healthy way that doesn't hurt anything.
(36:30):
And if you don't, if you don't follow that, then
you'll find yourself in a really bad place. And most
of these emails that we've read when it comes to
separation or divorce, or you would say, oh, yeah, there
it is, and you just cannot make an argument at
all that lusting after everyone and chasing your creaturely desire
(36:53):
and following it down every rabbit hole that it goes
to leads to a happy life. It always leads to depression, sadness,
and tortured souls. So the god God says, here's here's
my law. Do this. So now let's tap back into
the question here with anonymous.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, it doesn't mean it's not hard like the Lord
has put that in us, as Granger said, though for
our husband or our wife. So those are temptations that
we will fight. One of the things that I that
I like from this question is that he's seeing it
and he says he's disgusted by it. So he said
something earlier about I know when I lust, Jesus forgives
me and I'm wiped clean. Yeah, if you believe, you know,
(37:33):
if you're a believer, you know, it's not like you
can just lust and do all this stuff and Jesus
automatically forgives you.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Like that's not Yeah that I was going to go
there too. Okay, it's not automatic.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
It's not automatic, but the fact that you are disgusted
by it, which that's that's we are at war with
our flesh. When we are converted and we believe and
we want to follow the Lord, our sin does grieve us.
So that's a good thing that I'm seeing from this
thirteen year old boy.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I'm at war with my flesh right now.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we hate scratch. He's just a war
with his flush, but like we hate our sin. When
the Lord has changed us, we hate our sin. So
that's a good thing that you're warring with this. So
he says, what does he say? Is there anything I
can do to turn away from this sin?
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah? So the question, you know, it starts off very
very specific to anonymous this guy and his specific situation,
but really the question is the most general, but it's
still very good question, and it is this, do you
have any tips or anything for me to turn away
(38:31):
from this sin? And so we said this earlier in
the podcast, but first we need to understand how serious
sin is and it's this serious? Is it? Is it
something that just we just throw away, we kind of forget,
like oh Jesus wipes the wipes the slate clean. Let's
think about that for a second. So he says, I
(38:55):
know when I lust and when I fail, my slate
has wiped clean by Jesus on the cross. Let's think
about that, if you could, if you could go back
in time right now, and you could moments after the
crucifixion at Calvary and talk to one person that was
(39:16):
witnessing this and say, did he just wipe this slate clean?
What do you think about that? It's pretty cool? Huh.
Everyone would be horrified at what they just saw. Crucifixion
is the worst way to die. Broadly speaking, it was
the let me say that only rephrase that crucifixion was
(39:38):
the best technique for the Romans to execute in the
most brutal way to get the quickest result. And the
result is let's make an example of this, of this
person that has broken the Roman law of some sort.
Let's make an example of humiliation. It is the ultimate humiliation, excruciating, painful,
(40:03):
horrific death torture device, and the Romans were good at it.
So to watch a man efphyxiated, losing his air because
he's trying to hold himself up on the bones of
his feet and trying to pull himself up on the
bones between his hands that giant, rusty nails have gone through,
(40:27):
and you in order to breathe, because your reaction to
that such pain is to collapse upon your own lung
your own lungs, and to take a breath of air,
you need to stand up on the nail that's going
between the bones of your feet and take a breath
(40:47):
and then sink back down. And so you do this
for hours. You push up on the bones and pull
with the hands that have nails right through the middle
of them into the wood, and you pull up and
just for a second you take a breath of air.
Then you sink back down. All the while people are
(41:07):
mocking you, throwing things at you. There are in many cases,
if you're taking too long because you're breathing too much,
and everyone's kind of getting bored, or it's getting dark
and that you can't have people hanging at night, so
they'll break your legs. So then it makes it even
harder for you. So now you have broken legs, and
(41:28):
not the case of Jesus, he didn't have a bone broken,
but in most cases of crucifixion, you're trying to stand
on broken legs that they broke with hammers on the
bloody nails, holding your butt. This is crucifixion. It's absolutely awful.
So I just want to say that we should think
(41:49):
really hard, and it's hard, but we need to think
really hard about saying, oh, Jesus wiped a sleeve clean
on the cross. Did hey, you know what that meant?
Do you know the pain that he must have gone
through for you? Do you know that for you he
wiped the slate clean on that cross. Yes, for you,
(42:10):
So don't go back to it for you to turn,
for you to turn, don't go back. He did that,
so you're forgiven. So don't go back to the sin.
Use that. Let that fuel you, and let it fuel
you to know that if he hadn't have done that,
you would never be free, you would never be forgiven,
you would never be seen right in the eyes of God,
(42:32):
you would never be righteous, and you would be condemned.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
So often people say, you know they And this is
a short email, so it's hard to hear his heart
behind it, but so often people will say that, well,
I know Jesus. Jesus knows my heart. You know he
died from me on the cross. I know I know
I'm forgiven. He knows my heart well, our heart is
sinful and wicked. So I just you know, he said,
is there anything I can do? I would hit your
knees every time that you feel that lust, as you know,
(42:57):
as David, cry out to the Lord. You know, God,
create me a new heart, a clean heart. God, take this,
take this sin from me. I cannot do it alone.
I war with my flesh.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Help me.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Lord. Just continue to cry out to God, thinking of
him on the cross and what he has done for you,
for that sin that you are fighting, and beg him
to remove it from you. You will not be perfect.
We will struggle with this until we're called home. But
every single time you have that thought, go open your Bible,
hit your knees, and beg the Lord to take that
sin from you.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. And the other thing is to know,
first we know what the cost, the price that Jesus paid.
And the second thing is to know that how serious
Jesus was about sin itself, so serious that he says,
if your right eye causes you to sin, then pluck
(43:46):
it out. If your hand causes you to sin, chop
it off, because it's better to go into heaven without
a hand or without an eye, then to go into
hell with two hands and two eyes. That's how serious
that he. He's not minimizing this at all. So that's
how serious he is. And he's speaking directly to you
and to me and to everyone. He's saying, are you struggling,
(44:08):
gouge out your eye? You know, so know the price,
the cost, and know how serious he was about it.
And now when we let's sit on that foundation, and
now let's get practical. Practically, you're with this girl, you
really like her, and when you're with her, you start
(44:30):
to lust. So practically avoid the situations where you're alone,
avoid the situations where you are tempted in any way,
are able to act on the lust. If you can't
handle it, then gouge the eye out and say I
can't hang out with you.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Now, hopefully it's not ever going to get so bad
that you cannot see a girl that you actually like
because you're so overcome with lust. Hopefully he doesn't get there.
But if you get to a situation where every time
you just see her, this is why maybe I shouldn't
go here, but I will. But this is why in Islam,
the women who are dressed the way that they're dressed,
(45:12):
and and and it's it's from a lot of different reasons,
but for one of the foundational reasons Islam, why you
see women dressed usually in black and completely veiled is
so that the the men don't stumble with lust. So
it's like a way, it's a it's a way for
them to go, Hey, I know how to fix this problem. Anonymous.
(45:32):
How about we just get all the women to veil themselves.
Then we don't have the problem. That's that's the wrong
way to think of it. They could think of a
million ways. Why that's it's not not the right way
to do it. That doesn't fix the problem. In fact,
it might even make people lust more perhaps, But Anonymous,
let me get to the point. If your right, it's
(45:54):
continued to send plug it out. So stay away from her,
and especially alone, especially at night, especially in a bedroom
or a car or any place like that.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
If you're scrolling her page or something at night, don't
do that.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
There's that destroy your computer if that's what it takes.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
You don't know what's fueling lust, you know, I mean,
this question could go so general question, This question could
go very very deep, for a thirteen year old boy.
So I don't know what's fueling this lust. But as
Granger said, if there was anything else that is fueling
your lust of the eyes or of the fleshyouget out.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Let me say this. Let me say this. This will
finish the question and the podcast. Anonymous. You're anonymous, I
get it. It's embarrassing. Don't be anonymous to everyone.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yeah, confess to somebody, you know.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Go to someone, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a cousin,
a teacher, a coach, a pastor, anyone. Go to anyone,
and we would recommend a friend like that. Usually starts
with a friend. You need accountability, buddy, like Daniel in
the Bible, you need buddies, and you go, I got
a problem. Can I tell you about a problem, dah
(47:02):
man anything. I'm I'm having this problem with lust right now.
Will you help keep me accountable? Brother? Yeah? Man, I will.
What do you wanna do? Okay, Well, when's the when's
the time you're vulnerable? Usually at night? I get vulnerable
when I'm all alone and I have my screen. Okay,
here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna text you at
seven am tomorrow and I'm gonna say, did you stay clean? Okay?
(47:26):
Text me okay. And so nine o'clock at night, you're
getting lonely and you're scrolling this girl's page and you think, oh, man,
I gotta, I gotta. I can't lie to my buddy.
Tomorrow he's gonna ask me at seven am if I
stayed clean, and I'm gonna say, yes, I did. I
have to do it. So you're gonna put the phone down,
and then seven am hege major stay clean. Yeah it
(47:47):
was hard, but I did. How about you? I did too.
And then if you slip up, you tell them and
you keep each other accountable. You fall, I fall, So
let me hold you up so that you don't fall,
because if you go down and I go down, this
is this is the accountability you have to have to
do that. Let's practically do that. Anonymous, don't be anonymous
to everyone. You could be anonymous to me, but not
(48:08):
to your buddy.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Two her better than one.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
Love y'all say next Monday. Thanks for joining me on
the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You
could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. Yigi
Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast. Got my favorite guest
on here. And it's not Bernie, and it's not Chad
or Parker or Marshall or London or a man or
say that to everybody or London. Yeah, it's you Amber,
my wife. I don't say that to everybody, do I? Yeah,
my favorite guest. How could I? I would be wrong
if I said that. Maybe didn't mean you. Okay, So
(00:35):
I get Amber on here. And anytime I have other guests,
I like, we plan it, usually put on the calendar.
But with you, I'm like, hey, can you please come
home the podcast real quick? And Maverick's taking a nap.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, I just put him down and he's like, let's
go to a podcast. So we have a solid maybe
two hours.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah, so thank you. What we do is we answer
your questions. Email me podcast at grangersmith dot com. We'll
walk through the question and like two friends sitting in
the cap of a truck, you have a question, you
ask it, and I don't have any notes in front
of me or famous quotes, even though maybe I could
pull a couple up, but I'll just answer you like
like I would a good friend. And that's the format.
(01:14):
Of this podcast. Currently, I'm coming to you. I'm very itchy,
so itchy, so itchy. I got tangled up into some
poison oak that we know of. Yeah, probably poison oak,
maybe poison ivy, although I've never had poison ivy in
my life. I've actually never had poison oak either. But
(01:35):
I just happened to be clearing some cedar and cut
up a tree and it was wrapped all in it
with poison oak vine. And this time of year it's
ripe like red. Those leaves are red and they just
look scary.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah, he's got it pretty.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
They're pretty, but they're scary. It looks like a red oak. Yeah,
the vine.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
You were out there with mav.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Too, out there with Maverick. And I'm actually having on
my eyebrow and my eye lid and under my right eye,
all under my chin, behind my left ear, all around
my growing and the biggest parts on my side, my
rib cage on my left side. Yeah, And I think
that's where it started because there's some scratches and I
(02:19):
think it entered my bloodstream and it's just my flesh
is screaming at me.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Also, Granger is a minimalist, and if you know him.
You know this, but he likes to re wear the
same hoodie a couple days in a row, has the
same T shirt, the same T shirt under it. And
I said, babe, what were you wearing when you cut
this ceedar? The hoodie that he has on now? And
I said, a week ago, let's wash it. Let me
wash it because you're just putting the same oil over
(02:46):
your head. That's probably why it's on your eye and
your ear. But anyway, he's it you today, guys, that
was a really.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Good point you made, Like you really got me.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I even thought about this morning because I saw the
hoodie laying there and I was like, he's probably gonna
put that back on. I bet that's what he was wearing.
I should have just taken it and washed it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Because I'm like, how's it getting behind my ear and
under my chin and on my eye and on my cheek?
And everyone's like, hey, what clothes were you wearing a
week ago when you're cutting that seedar? And I was like,
this actually in this hat?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Okay, all of it, So that's what it is.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
But what am I going to wear? If you watch
this though?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Well, we do have an apparel company. I think you
can find another yee hoodie.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Okay, should we get to a question. This is from Megan,
and she says, this is kind of a complicated topic.
Imagine that she says, you could see my children's You see,
my children's father is not a believer in the gospel,
but I am. We are no longer together. But this
(03:54):
is a topic that is thrown in my face on
a regular basis. Just recently he approached me and my
children were not to be brainwashed by the church and
taught to fear hell. I obviously have a different stance
on this topic, but to avoid an argument, I'm trying
to figure out a way to plant a seed in
his heart to reconsider Christ is good and we all
(04:17):
need him. I think I'm just asking for advice on
how to plant that seed so we could be in
unity when it comes to teaching our children in the Gospel.
It actually sounds like a complicated question, but it's actually not.
That's very normal, Megan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is
(04:39):
a situation that so many people are in, so many
of our friends, so many people that we know, and
they say.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They're no longer together. I mean, this is the situation
that some of our friends are together in dealing with this.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, and some are not. Yeah, we're not, and so
much so it is. I say it's common, and I
don't say that to minimize the the severity of it,
but it is common enough that even the apostle Paul
speaks about it, not the separated part, but being with
(05:09):
an unbeliever.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
This is biblical.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yeah, it is biblical. Some people believe in some people don't.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Until the veil is removed from their eyes, until the
Lord changes their hearts. So she's asking about how can
I plant seeds for him? And I would just advise
you to keep living your life the way that you
are as and have as much grace for him as
you can and kindness for him as you can. But
you and your girls, I think I think she said today,
have girls pray for his heart, pray for his heart
(05:39):
to be changed, because you guys can't do it. You
can plant seeds, and you can just speak openly and
just say, you know, the Lord is my savior and
we believe in what the Bible says. And I'm taking
our girls to church because you're not together, so he's
technically not the head of your home anymore now if
you guys are married, this would be a different, different talk.
But you aren't together anymore, or so you are taking
(06:01):
your girls and your your submission is first to the Lord.
So you need to be doing what is what is
what the Bible says to do, which is train your
children up in the way that they should go, and
take your girls to church, your children to church, pray
for this man's heart to be changed, and have your
girls pray pray for him.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
That's where first of all, I don't know where you're
getting girls.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
What did you not? Did she not say girls?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I don't see it, but it says children children.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I'm sorry, maybe I don't know. I just put girls
in there.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
So the idea of your children are not to be brainwashed.
His children are not to be brainwashed. I don't blame them,
because that's a legitimate concern that any child would be
brainwashed by some kind of system or manipulation or anything
that would be that that would be false or wrong
or what could hurt them in a way. And so
(06:56):
you could use that and say you could talk to
the brainwashing part of it and just say, hey, our
children are are free to think and choose and and
listen to and contemplate of many ideas. And so if
you want to, if you want to dig in with
(07:19):
them about the Bible, I'd be happy to sit with you.
And we could even have one of our pastors at
our church come and sit. We could we could dig
in to understand kind of the the history of it,
the working of it, so that there's not a mystery.
And you know, many times when someone digs deep like that,
(07:40):
they actually find the truth it because it's undeniable. So
there is there is that. But but I besides the
telling the gospel, which is the seed, there is only
one seed. You say, how do I plant the seed? This?
There is only one seed, and that is the Gospel.
And that is the story the good news that God
(08:01):
came to reconcile sinners through his son Jesus, God knowing
that people could not be good enough to come to him,
that could not fulfill his law, and that were because
he's a just God, and sinners deserve hell for rebelling
against him, because he's a holy God and can't have
corruption around him, and because we are ourselves guilty of it,
(08:23):
of committing that crime against him. Then knowing that we
could not be good enough, and knowing that if he
didn't do something, if he didn't act in that he
would be alone in heaven because there would be no
one else. And that's not to say that he wouldn't
that he would be unhappy. God, the triyuing God in
(08:44):
himself has enough love in himself and enjoy and happiness.
He doesn't need anything else. He doesn't need people, but
through his mercy in his creation, through his people, seeing
that people had no way to get to him, that
they were all corrupt, that all had turned, that all
were evil, that no one was good, not even won.
(09:04):
The Bible says God, in his mercy in instead of
giving us justice that we deserved, he gave mercy to
his people, coming to earth in the person of the
son of Jesus, going to the cross, becoming a replacement,
a substitute, taking the sins of the world onto his
(09:27):
own body on the cross, and then for those that
looked to him and his resurrection as God raised him
from the dead, defeating death, becoming the ultimate sacrifice for sin.
As people looked to him, turned from their old ways
and looked to him and trust the forgiveness of their sins.
Through that sacrifice to them. He says, You'll be with
(09:50):
me in eternity. That's the way we get to God.
It is not by our own good works. That's the
good news. That's the only seed you could plant. You
could say that story in a bunch of different ways,
but that is the only seed you could plant. So
and you don't have to plan it over and over
and over. Sometimes we think I got to tell him
the gospel again today, Not necessarily. If he hears it
(10:11):
and understands it, you could move on and just love him. Yeah,
just live a life that makes Christ look awesome, and
love him and forgive him and be gentle and practice
humility around them. And that's the only thing you could do.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, don't be naggy like you need to go to
church or are you know, live your life. A lot
of people they can see by how you live and
sometimes just by the way that you're living out your
life and your faith. It makes them want to know
more about that. Well, why does she have this light?
Why does she have this joy? So that's a way
that you could plant a seed. But you can also
(10:52):
just invite him, just keep inviting him to church, have
him to come to church with you just say I'd
love for you to join us. If he says no, fine,
but maybe one day he'll say yes. And just keep
praying for him.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah. Yeah, let's get another question. Blaine says, Hey, Granger,
my wife and I are going through a divorce because
of past decisions I've made, including stealing, lying, manipulating, alcohol abuse,
financial infidelity. We have four kids, ages two to nine.
(11:22):
We've been separated for almost a year now, with a
divorce being on pause currently because she started a new
job and it's been stressful for her to deal with
it all. My main question is this. I was baptized
about nine months ago, and I've been involved in a
regeneration program at my church. Through this, I've learned more
and more about spiritual warfare. I do feel, due to
(11:42):
my lack of spiritual knowledge, that I was in a
very dark place in my life when I chose to steal,
chose to drink and hide it, chose to manipulate anyone
close to me to think I was a good man.
Now that I'm grown in my faith, it's hard for
me to understand divorce. When I talk about being in
a very dark place with my wife, it's labeled as
(12:02):
an excuse. It's hard to hear, but I would love
your thoughts. Thanks blame. Did you understand that last part? Yeah, yeah,
explain it to me.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
She was saying. He's saying, now that he realizes he
was in a dark place. I think it's coming across
as when he says that to her and he's realizing
all these things. She's she's making him feel like that's
just an excuse.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
That makes sense. Yeah, I think you're right, and and
it's hard to blame her.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, when you're hurt and betrayed.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And this is another story we see a lot. It's like, Hey,
I've you know, I abused you in so many ways
by stealing, lying, manipulating, alcohol, financial infidelity. I've done all
this stuff so much so that I've basically run you
out of the house and stressed you out beyond your wits.
But guess what, I've been baptized, and I'm in this
(12:53):
new program at church, and I'm a change. I'm changed, babe,
And now I have a bunch of knowledge about spiritual warfare.
And now I know that that wasn't me that was
doing all that stuff. That was the devil. And so
I'm changed now. And she's like, get out of here.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Well, it's been nine months. I mean I would I
would think nine months since his baptism and this program.
Nine months is a pretty long time to be able
to see fruit or evidence of a change like art
is he has he done any of those things in
the last nine months.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
We also don't know if.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
She right, and we don't know if she's a believer,
because praise the Lord if he is, if he is
in this new if you got.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Baptized, yeah, blad, I'm not minimizing. I'm just saying. I'm
saying from her perspective, she's like, get.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Out of here, right, She's like, I don't believe you.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Yeah, that's the worldly thing is not believing in a
changed heart. But praise the Lord if your heart has
changed and you're working on it. And I also find
it interesting that the divorce is on pause. The word
has put it on pause for this time, maybe so
you guys could work it out.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, that's that's a total grace that you don't deserve
blame that all of a sudden there's there's a you know,
a new wind has blown and it is everything's on pause.
So because this new.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Job you've got some time.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You've got you've got time, and and every second is
critical in this.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, like Granger said, you can't obviously you probably you
can't blame her. You've lived with her, You've known what
you've done, and we are like, we don't know if
she's a believer. We are called to forgive. And I
believe that any marriage can be redeemed and restored no
matter what has happened, if both parties are repentant and
willing and ready to come together again, and both of
you chase after Christ. So I would use this time
(14:41):
pour into her as much as you can try to
make up for that lost time. Keep praying, pray together,
pray for her, serve her in ways that you hadn't before,
and hopefully she will be able to see fruit and
and hopefully come around and maybe try to give this
one more shot. Yeah, I mean, obviously the Lord is
placed it on hold for a reason. So start dating
(15:02):
each other again.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Let's say too that Blaine, this is where if we
were in a cap of a truck, I would start
asking some questions back to you. But one of the
questions is you say I was baptized nine months ago.
What I would prefer you to say, is I become
a Christian nine months ago and was baptized. I would
prefer it worded like that, like the Lord saved me
(15:25):
nine months ago. After all this, then through his word,
the Lord radically saved me, and then I was baptized
as a response to the saving. And what I hope
I'm not hearing here or reading from this email, is
that you were in a really dark place and everything
was falling apart, including your marriage, and you're like, well,
(15:46):
I may able to just go to the church and
get baptized, Like maybe that'll help me, Because the answer
is it won't. You. Being dunked in some water absolutely
means nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, a lot of people do that in a very
part season.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
It means nothing unless the Lord has saved you and
given you a new heart and radically turned your life
around back towards him. And you say, I'm all in Jesus.
What do I do in your first work and obedience
to Him is to get baptized and to testify in
front of the church that you're now a new creation.
(16:19):
And everyone sees you go in the water and comes
back up, and then you walk as a new creation
in the good works that have been that have been
planned for you by Him. And so that's what I
hope is part of this regeneration program at your church.
I don't know necessarily what that means, but just walking
(16:40):
with the members of your church, serving in your church,
being held accountable by the other members of your church
as you hold them accountable as well as Christians. And
instead of saying, though I've learned more and more about
spiritual warfare, great, but what I want you to say
is I've learned more and more about who God. And
(17:01):
so those are the two little nuances that maybe you
meant in your email, but maybe you didn't. But there's
a huge difference between the two things.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, and this is and like I said, we don't
know what's happened in the last nine months, if you have,
if she has seen fruit, or if she hasn't. And
the only thing that might make this work is a
little bit of time and patience with her, if that's
something that you know, broken relationships take time to build
trust back. So I think over time she will see
hopefully see fruit in your life if your heart has
(17:30):
truly been converted and.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
The Lord has used these dark moments of separation and
divorce and loss and grief. The Lord uses those moments
where people well are desperate to fix it, and then
in the fixing, the Lord saves them. But if you
(17:53):
heard the way I described, it's it's a it, it's
kind of backwards. Because what you need, Blaine, and what
you probably maybe you don't even think this, maybe you
don't even know this, but what you need is to
be forgiven of your sins by Jesus. And the only
(18:14):
way you are forgiven is by turning from your old
life and turning to Him and trusting his forgiveness that
he's provided through his work on the Cross. And to
need forgiveness, you need to know what's at stake. If
you don't have it, you need to know you're standing
before God is bad. You're standing for a judge and
(18:37):
he says guilty. And because he is the ultimate judge,
the higher the judge, the bigger the judge, the more
severe the punishment. So if you're standing in front of
your local county courthouse, that's one thing. If you're standing
in front of your state courthouse, that's another thing. If
you're standing in front of the Supreme Court, that gets bigger.
(18:57):
As the court gets bigger, and you're in this story
we're talking about. You're standing in front of the highest court.
You're standing in front of the sovereign God, and he
looks at you and says guilty. And if you recognize
the severity of that charge against you, then the more
you'll need and desire and crave forgiveness that Jesus provides.
(19:22):
Here's my point. I say all that because it sounds
like you're doing this the baptism thing, the program at church,
the learning about spiritual war is to get your wife back,
and your wife is the least of your worries as
a sinner needing forgiveness. Once again, I started this whole
conversation by saying, the Lord uses that uses a I'll
(19:44):
call it a sinful desire of wanting your idol back.
I just want my wife back, It's all I want.
What should I do to get my wife back? Get baptized,
learn the Bible, pray well, whatever, just give me my
idol back and the idols my wife. You need forgiveness.
And when you find forgiveness in Jesus, the forgiveness that
(20:05):
he has provided through giving himself up on the cross
with his own blood when you realize what he's done
and the severity of the crime. Here, the severity of
the crime is easy to understand when you know that
God gave his only son to pay for it. That's
a pretty high price. That is the highest price. And
so when you understand the severity of it, you go,
(20:27):
I don't need my idol. I don't. The wife is
the least of my concerns. But if I have Jesus
and I love him, now I could love my wife
more than I ever did before. And now she's not
an idol. She's a gift from the Lord, and the
Lord has given me this gift in her, and now
I want to serve her and love her and provide
(20:49):
for her and care for her, and not raise my
voice and anger against her or abuse her with my words,
with alcohol or financial whatever. So that's how this is
how the river flows. It flows that direction, and so
blame if you hear anything from this whole conversation. Don't
ever get baptized to get the girl back. Anybody listening,
(21:11):
don't get baptized, don't go to church, don't pray. Don't
do that with the means of getting getting your wife
back or the girl back. Don't let that be the
end of the means. Let the Lord let seeking forgiveness,
seeking his grace and mercy be the end, and then
(21:32):
through seeking that, everything else will fall into place. Just
a reminder if you want to get a hold of
me in any way or have me make you a
video message from my phone, you could do that by
going to cameo dot com slash granger Smith. You enter
the information you want me to say, like say happy
birthday to my brother, he's a fan of your music.
(21:53):
Whatever that might be, happy anniversary, maybe just a word
of encouragement, especially for people this time of year that
are hard to buy for you don't know what to
get them, or it's last minute. Go to cameo dot
com slash granger Smith and I'll make you a video
message however you want me to say it.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
We're back.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
We're back. So if you want to email me podcast
at grangersmith dot com and put your question and you
could ask anything you want. I don't even care ask
anything you want. I wish I had some what's it
called klumine? Calumine?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I put some on your side for your face.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I need some from my neck, my neck. It is yeah,
we'll finish this podcast and now I'll give you. I
will gladly give you this hoodie to wash. Okay, you
remember the last time you washed it?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Because you usually don't put it in the dirty clothes.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
It's just you just lay it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
So I could pick it up the next time I
need it.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
No, I just need to grab it and wash it.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
This might be a lesson for me and for everyone.
Wash your clothes. Wash your clothes kids. Adam, hopefully you
don't have that same question. Adam says, Hey, gring your
my name is Adam and I'm a huge fan. I've
been following your podcast since you first started it. I
tune in every Monday for it. I also watch your
teachings on YouTube. Man, Adam, thank you. You might be
the only one that tunes in every Monday. Appreciate you. Man,
(23:14):
I'm making this podcast just for you, he says. My
question that I bring to you is how do I,
as a twenty three year old, go about meeting someone.
I'm heavily introverted and it takes me a little bit
to open up to new people, so it's tough for me.
Whenever I go to a bar or any social gathering
to try and talk to new people. I've always struggled
(23:34):
with it, and I try to start up a conversation
with new people that try to break this habit. Is
there anywhere in the Bible that may teach or help
me see this differently? I would love to hear your
thoughts or advice on how I could break this.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Adam, I feel like we answered a question like that
on the last one that I was with with maybe
find an introverted guy looking to find I think he
was looking to find a girl, though, So.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
We're going to dive in like we're cab of a
truck here. And first of all, Man, thank you for
the encouragement of watching the podcast. I love that youtune
in every Monday. That's really encouraging for me. I honestly
sometimes wonder if anyone's listening or watching or just kind
of scanning the scan in the YouTube. Okay, yeah, maybe
(24:25):
twenty three years old, super young. I'm not worried about
you running out of time anytime soon. A lot of
people will say things like that, like I know I'm
getting up there in age, or you're not. You got
a long time heavily introverted. Great, that's what makes the
world go round. There's nothing that I would ever tell
(24:48):
you that say you shouldn't be introverted, or in order
to meet someone you need to be extroverted. No one's
ever going to tell you that or that would be wrong.
That's your personality. You say, it's tough to go to
a bar or social gathering and try to talk to
new people, so you try to break the habit by
(25:09):
striking up conversations with new people. I don't know, I mean,
maybe that's healthy, the practice opening up to new people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I mean, I feel like he's twenty three. So when
was COVID five years ago? Yeah, you know, I feel
like there has been a disservice to the kids, teenagers,
young adults in that area where everybody just secluded themselves
and locked themselves up and everything became online talking. And
(25:38):
I know we've dealt with social media for a lot,
way longer than that, but I feel like something about
this age range, there's a lot of people that seem
to be very introverted and find it hard to talk
to people. Yeah, and that's just the world we live
in now. I think everybody is so much on their
screen and not going out and meeting new people. So
it makes it weird whenever we have to actually go
out and have a conversation with people. I mean, I
find out when I go out even to restaurants and
(26:00):
people don't even look.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
At you or talk to you.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
So maybe that's not the case for him, but I
feel like that entranged. I hear a lot of people
that struggle with that, being introverted, being led through that
COVID season of being stuck by themselves.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
So his question is is there anywhere in the Bible
that may help or teach a way to see this differently?
He says, that's an interesting question.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
That's an interesting question.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well, first of all, the short answers know. The short
answers know the Bible doesn't address dating. Dating is really
a new issue, and it's we have invented this in
modern history. We don't know anything about the for instance,
the Apostles, we don't know anything about their wives. Specifically Peter,
(26:47):
he would be the one that we the only one
maybe that we actually have a word from, but we
don't know anything about her or how they met. But
certainly in first century Judaism it was arranged, or it wasn't.
It wasn't at all in the context of we think
courting is today. In the fact that's I would have
(27:10):
to I would have to dive in. And I've never
really studied that history of courting, but I'm assuming it's
two hundred years maybe, and it's at most maybe a
little more, maybe three hundred years since people actually courted
each other. But typically it would be just someone's gonna,
(27:32):
for lack of a better term, someone's gonna set you
up or arrange it. And I mean, certainly in ancient times,
this is the only way you were arranged by a family. I,
as a father of a thirteen year old daughter, am
totally down for arranging. It's not gonna happen, but I
(27:52):
feel like that would be pretty awesome. Like me and
you we go and find like a really good family
that we already have a couple in mind. I already
have a couple in mind, and I'd be like, hey, okay,
and I would go present the dowry to the other family,
like I'll give you my daughter and thirty thousand dollars. God,
(28:13):
you know, some girls might need a little bit more
to because it's worth getting them on the house, I
would assume, but Adam all that to say, No, the Bible,
I'm kidding. The Bible doesn't speak about dating or getting
over being an introvert. So you could date.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
But I will tell you what the Bible does speak
on is that God created us for community and created
us not to do things in isolation. Yes, And so
I would say, are you involved as a local member
of a church of a local church? I think so?
And I feel like I say that on every single podcast,
Every single question that we have about this is people
ask how do I meet people? How do I meet people?
How do I meet people? I feel weird go into bars?
Are you a member of a church?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
You know?
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I feel like so many times you can meet people
through your local church and meet people through families there
or youth events there. You know, you're twenty three, you
might be a little old for the youth, but still
I feel like that is such a special way to
meet new people.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Yeah. No, I totally. I mean, I totally agree. I
think getting involved in things that you love. I've said
this so many times over eight years of this podcast.
Now one of my go to things to say to
this kind of question is find something you love, a hobby,
(29:26):
and go do that, and inevitably you'll look around you
and there'll be someone that shares that common interest. Maybe
you're really into bowling, for instance, like I love bowling.
I go to bowling tournaments, go join a league and
talk to the people, and you might not find a
(29:48):
girl that's bowling with you. But maybe one of the
guys on your team has a sister. And one day
she's twenty one years old and she's visiting from the
next town over and she comes to visit her brother
and you see her and you go wow. And then
here's where the introvert thing comes in. You think, I
am so introverted. I'm scared to say something. So you
(30:10):
go to the brother and you say, man, you know me,
you like me, right, And the guy's like, yeah, I
like you. You're my buddy. I wonder if you would
ever introduce me to your sister. And maybe that's a
bad example because brothers. I've never had a sister, so
I don't know how that goes. But that's just an
example of you don't necessarily need to be extroverted. You
(30:33):
just need to be in community. Yeah, and community, and
the community usually starts with hopefully a church. That's what
Amber and I would encourage. So let's say that that's
already in place. So you've got the church going on,
and then you're also in the chess club, or you're
in the bowling league, or you're in the skeet shooting club,
or you're you like to watch parades? Are you go
(30:57):
to circuses? Are you watch drag racing? I mean like anything,
literally anything you like poodle dog races? I don't know anything.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
There's some favorite hobbies you're not telling me about.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
All you have to do is think what do I
love to do? What do I like to do? You
like to play Mario Brothers. There's a league probably for that.
But get involved in the community, and then hopefully that
involves a church, and hopefully you're also sharing the gospel
why you're in community. And then while you're doing all this,
and you're chasing after Jesus and you look over to
your left and there is someone chasing after him at
(31:35):
the same rate you are, and you say, hey, you
and grab some coffee and she says, yes, I do,
and there's your wife. Yeah, So so take that, Adam.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I was just going to add on the end there.
If you do get yourself involved in in a local body,
even if you're introverted, if it's a healthy church, they're
going to come to you and start talking to you.
Like you might not even have to come out of
your shell per se right at the beginning, but those
people and that church will come to you and say
hey and welcome you in and start about to strike
up a conversation.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Use your family, yeah, you use your mom and your
dad and your siblings, and say, hey, if you know
of anybody, if you know anybody that's singled around my age,
I would love to go on a date. And I
have no Angela is one that that actually happened to.
So are there are people in our friend group that
two parents met at the country club and said, I
(32:27):
have a son that's this age, I have a daughter
that's this age. My son's single, my daughter's single. And
then they talk more and then they say we should
set them up. And that just kind of circumvents the
whole introverted thing. And you don't have to go to
a bar and like impress a girl. That just you
don't have to do that stuff. Next question comes from
(32:49):
anonymous steer granger, I'd like to remain anonymous. I'm thirteen
years old and I live in Utah. Let's hit the
dirt road, he says. So, I struggle with lust, and
when I when I lust, I feel my personality and
the way I handle things change. My question is how
(33:10):
do I not change when I stumble? Because I know
when I lust and when I fail, my slate is
wiped clean by Jesus on the Cross. But there's this
girl I really like who when I hang out with her,
it's the opposite, and I feel disgusted by my lust.
Do you have any tips or anything for me to
(33:30):
turn away from the sin? I love your music and
I love your podcast. Thanks for reading and considering my question.
What a sweet kid, and scary because he's thirteen. Yeah, Heyboddy,
I've once been thirteen so many I'm gonna boldly step
into this situation here, and I'm gonna try it first.
(33:52):
I'm let's try to understand what he's asking. He says,
I struggle with lust, and when I lust, I feel
like my personality and the way I handle things change. Okay,
let's just take that sentence alone. I struggle with lust,
and when I lust, my personality and the way I
handle things change. That is that is the thirteen year
(34:12):
old talking.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
That's speaking lusting. I mean we obviously we don't know.
Is this lust in his mind or is he acting
on this lust?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
He doesn't say, don't know. I don't think so. I
think this is something that struggles with mentally. But what's
happening is the the animal in him? Yeah? Is that's
what he's because he can't explain why his personality changes.
And we look, let's let's be as crude as we can.
Let's say about dogs. When a dog goes in heat,
(34:40):
they change their personality and the way they handle things change. Like,
that's what he's saying. I mom ass cows, right, So
when you separate the bull and the cows and one
of those cows goes in heat, that bull will jump
a barbed wire fence. Yeah, I've never seen it. Personally,
(35:01):
I know they'll break the fence. I've never seen him
jump it, but I have seen him in the pasture
with him Yeah, like, how did he get here? He
jumped from away? His personality and the way he handles things,
The way he handles things. The bull on a normal
day is eat the grass, and hang out and go
get a drink of water. But when he lust, because
(35:22):
of the smell of the heat of the cow, his things,
the way he handles things around the fence change and
he will do anything he can to break it, to
jump it. So that's like physically, that's that's what's happening
to you. You know, we are not cows and we
are not dogs. Were humans are different, and we're different
(35:42):
in that we still had that animal being. We're we're
from the earth were we have We're a creation. We're
not a creator. We are we are creatures. And because
we're creaturely, we have attributes of dogs and cows. And
so the Bible says, the Bible has laid out God
(36:06):
has laid out his word in a way that this
creaturely lust that we have, he has a way that
he directs it, and that is towards marriage, so that
when you're in marriage, then all of these creaturely desires
are satisfied in a healthy way that doesn't hurt anything.
(36:30):
And if you don't, if you don't follow that, then
you'll find yourself in a really bad place. And most
of these emails that we've read when it comes to
separation or divorce, or you would say, oh, yeah, there
it is, and you just cannot make an argument at
all that lusting after everyone and chasing your creaturely desire
(36:53):
and following it down every rabbit hole that it goes
to leads to a happy life. It always leads to depression, sadness,
and tortured souls. So the god God says, here's here's
my law. Do this. So now let's tap back into
the question here with anonymous.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, it doesn't mean it's not hard like the Lord
has put that in us, as Granger said, though for
our husband or our wife. So those are temptations that
we will fight. One of the things that I that
I like from this question is that he's seeing it
and he says he's disgusted by it. So he said
something earlier about I know when I lust, Jesus forgives
me and I'm wiped clean. Yeah, if you believe, you know,
(37:33):
if you're a believer, you know, it's not like you
can just lust and do all this stuff and Jesus
automatically forgives you.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Like that's not Yeah that I was going to go
there too. Okay, it's not automatic.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
It's not automatic, but the fact that you are disgusted
by it, which that's that's we are at war with
our flesh. When we are converted and we believe and
we want to follow the Lord, our sin does grieve us.
So that's a good thing that I'm seeing from this
thirteen year old boy.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I'm at war with my flesh right now.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we hate scratch. He's just a war
with his flush, but like we hate our sin. When
the Lord has changed us, we hate our sin. So
that's a good thing that you're warring with this. So
he says, what does he say? Is there anything I
can do to turn away from this sin?
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah? So the question, you know, it starts off very
very specific to anonymous this guy and his specific situation,
but really the question is the most general, but it's
still very good question, and it is this, do you
have any tips or anything for me to turn away
(38:31):
from this sin? And so we said this earlier in
the podcast, but first we need to understand how serious
sin is and it's this serious? Is it? Is it
something that just we just throw away, we kind of forget,
like oh Jesus wipes the wipes the slate clean. Let's
think about that for a second. So he says, I
(38:55):
know when I lust and when I fail, my slate
has wiped clean by Jesus on the cross. Let's think
about that, if you could, if you could go back
in time right now, and you could moments after the
crucifixion at Calvary and talk to one person that was
(39:16):
witnessing this and say, did he just wipe this slate clean?
What do you think about that? It's pretty cool? Huh.
Everyone would be horrified at what they just saw. Crucifixion
is the worst way to die. Broadly speaking, it was
the let me say that only rephrase that crucifixion was
(39:38):
the best technique for the Romans to execute in the
most brutal way to get the quickest result. And the
result is let's make an example of this, of this
person that has broken the Roman law of some sort.
Let's make an example of humiliation. It is the ultimate humiliation, excruciating, painful,
(40:03):
horrific death torture device, and the Romans were good at it.
So to watch a man efphyxiated, losing his air because
he's trying to hold himself up on the bones of
his feet and trying to pull himself up on the
bones between his hands that giant, rusty nails have gone through,
(40:27):
and you in order to breathe, because your reaction to
that such pain is to collapse upon your own lung
your own lungs, and to take a breath of air,
you need to stand up on the nail that's going
between the bones of your feet and take a breath
(40:47):
and then sink back down. And so you do this
for hours. You push up on the bones and pull
with the hands that have nails right through the middle
of them into the wood, and you pull up and
just for a second you take a breath of air.
Then you sink back down. All the while people are
(41:07):
mocking you, throwing things at you. There are in many cases,
if you're taking too long because you're breathing too much,
and everyone's kind of getting bored, or it's getting dark
and that you can't have people hanging at night, so
they'll break your legs. So then it makes it even
harder for you. So now you have broken legs, and
(41:28):
not the case of Jesus, he didn't have a bone broken,
but in most cases of crucifixion, you're trying to stand
on broken legs that they broke with hammers on the
bloody nails, holding your butt. This is crucifixion. It's absolutely awful.
So I just want to say that we should think
(41:49):
really hard, and it's hard, but we need to think
really hard about saying, oh, Jesus wiped a sleeve clean
on the cross. Did hey, you know what that meant?
Do you know the pain that he must have gone
through for you? Do you know that for you he
wiped the slate clean on that cross. Yes, for you,
(42:10):
So don't go back to it for you to turn,
for you to turn, don't go back. He did that,
so you're forgiven. So don't go back to the sin.
Use that. Let that fuel you, and let it fuel
you to know that if he hadn't have done that,
you would never be free, you would never be forgiven,
you would never be seen right in the eyes of God,
(42:32):
you would never be righteous, and you would be condemned.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
So often people say, you know they And this is
a short email, so it's hard to hear his heart
behind it, but so often people will say that, well,
I know Jesus. Jesus knows my heart. You know he
died from me on the cross. I know I know
I'm forgiven. He knows my heart well, our heart is
sinful and wicked. So I just you know, he said,
is there anything I can do? I would hit your
knees every time that you feel that lust, as you know,
(42:57):
as David, cry out to the Lord. You know, God,
create me a new heart, a clean heart. God, take this,
take this sin from me. I cannot do it alone.
I war with my flesh.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Help me.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Lord. Just continue to cry out to God, thinking of
him on the cross and what he has done for you,
for that sin that you are fighting, and beg him
to remove it from you. You will not be perfect.
We will struggle with this until we're called home. But
every single time you have that thought, go open your Bible,
hit your knees, and beg the Lord to take that
sin from you.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. And the other thing is to know,
first we know what the cost, the price that Jesus paid.
And the second thing is to know that how serious
Jesus was about sin itself, so serious that he says,
if your right eye causes you to sin, then pluck
(43:46):
it out. If your hand causes you to sin, chop
it off, because it's better to go into heaven without
a hand or without an eye, then to go into
hell with two hands and two eyes. That's how serious
that he. He's not minimizing this at all. So that's
how serious he is. And he's speaking directly to you
and to me and to everyone. He's saying, are you struggling,
(44:08):
gouge out your eye? You know, so know the price,
the cost, and know how serious he was about it.
And now when we let's sit on that foundation, and
now let's get practical. Practically, you're with this girl, you
really like her, and when you're with her, you start
(44:30):
to lust. So practically avoid the situations where you're alone,
avoid the situations where you are tempted in any way,
are able to act on the lust. If you can't
handle it, then gouge the eye out and say I
can't hang out with you.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Now, hopefully it's not ever going to get so bad
that you cannot see a girl that you actually like
because you're so overcome with lust. Hopefully he doesn't get there.
But if you get to a situation where every time
you just see her, this is why maybe I shouldn't
go here, but I will. But this is why in Islam,
the women who are dressed the way that they're dressed,
(45:12):
and and and it's it's from a lot of different reasons,
but for one of the foundational reasons Islam, why you
see women dressed usually in black and completely veiled is
so that the the men don't stumble with lust. So
it's like a way, it's a it's a way for
them to go, Hey, I know how to fix this problem. Anonymous.
(45:32):
How about we just get all the women to veil themselves.
Then we don't have the problem. That's that's the wrong
way to think of it. They could think of a
million ways. Why that's it's not not the right way
to do it. That doesn't fix the problem. In fact,
it might even make people lust more perhaps, But Anonymous,
let me get to the point. If your right, it's
(45:54):
continued to send plug it out. So stay away from her,
and especially alone, especially at night, especially in a bedroom
or a car or any place like that.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
If you're scrolling her page or something at night, don't
do that.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
There's that destroy your computer if that's what it takes.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
You don't know what's fueling lust, you know, I mean,
this question could go so general question, This question could
go very very deep, for a thirteen year old boy.
So I don't know what's fueling this lust. But as
Granger said, if there was anything else that is fueling
your lust of the eyes or of the fleshyouget out.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Let me say this. Let me say this. This will
finish the question and the podcast. Anonymous. You're anonymous, I
get it. It's embarrassing. Don't be anonymous to everyone.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yeah, confess to somebody, you know.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Go to someone, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a cousin,
a teacher, a coach, a pastor, anyone. Go to anyone,
and we would recommend a friend like that. Usually starts
with a friend. You need accountability, buddy, like Daniel in
the Bible, you need buddies, and you go, I got
a problem. Can I tell you about a problem, dah
(47:02):
man anything. I'm I'm having this problem with lust right now.
Will you help keep me accountable? Brother? Yeah? Man, I will.
What do you wanna do? Okay, Well, when's the when's
the time you're vulnerable? Usually at night? I get vulnerable
when I'm all alone and I have my screen. Okay,
here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna text you at
seven am tomorrow and I'm gonna say, did you stay clean? Okay?
(47:26):
Text me okay. And so nine o'clock at night, you're
getting lonely and you're scrolling this girl's page and you think, oh, man,
I gotta, I gotta. I can't lie to my buddy.
Tomorrow he's gonna ask me at seven am if I
stayed clean, and I'm gonna say, yes, I did. I
have to do it. So you're gonna put the phone down,
and then seven am hege major stay clean. Yeah it
(47:47):
was hard, but I did. How about you? I did too.
And then if you slip up, you tell them and
you keep each other accountable. You fall, I fall, So
let me hold you up so that you don't fall,
because if you go down and I go down, this
is this is the accountability you have to have to
do that. Let's practically do that. Anonymous, don't be anonymous
to everyone. You could be anonymous to me, but not
(48:08):
to your buddy.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Two her better than one.
Speaker 1 (48:11):
Love y'all say next Monday. Thanks for joining me on
the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You
could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. Yigi
Host
Granger Smith
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