November 24, 2025 • 28 mins
This week, Granger sits down with Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family, for a heartfelt conversation about faith, family, and the work God is doing through everyday people. Granger shares how Focus on the Family shaped his own upbringing, even playing a voice message from his mom describing how the ministry prayed for their family through some of their hardest years. Jim responds with stories of his own, reflecting on how the ministry seeks to strengthen homes and reach people who feel unseen or overwhelmed.
As the conversation unfolds, the two talk about the importance of investing in young men and why this next generation is at the center of so many cultural battles. They discuss what real masculinity looks like, how the world often distorts it, and why raising strong, humble, Christ-centered men matters so deeply for families and churches.
Granger and Jim also take time to talk about marriage, purpose, and the value of bringing children into a world that feels increasingly unstable. Jim’s perspective is clear and encouraging — God places us exactly where and when He intends, and He equips parents to raise kids with courage and hope, even in difficult times.
It’s an honest and uplifting episode filled with wisdom, stories, and gratitude for the ministry that has touched so many families.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mister Jim Daily, thank you so much for being on brother.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's good to be with you. Granger, what what do you?
What do you?
Speaker 1 (00:07):
What would you say is the main focus of your ministry?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Oh man, good question. You know it's like of your
five children, which one's the most important. But we do
we concentrate on five things every day walking into focus. Evangelism,
discipleship kind of at the base of everything we do. Marriage, parenting,
advocacy for children, which is ultrasound machines, abortion pill reversal,
(00:34):
working with the pregnancy centers to you know, have greater
and greater impact for that abortion minded woman to hopefully
choose life. And then finally culture, how to engage the culture.
And man, this is a time we need to engage culture,
that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You're not kidding, you know. I would have accepted the
answer of family.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
That probably sums it up anything. Family is in our wheelhouse.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I want to tell you something. My family has has
been influenced encouraged by Focus on the Family since I
was born. Focus on the Family started in nineteen seventy seven,
is that right? So that's right, nineteen seven. I was
born in seventy nine.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Okay, now, you're bragging.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
So my mother has My mother literally raised me according
to focus on the family, which is according to the Bible. Yeah,
I messaged her this morning and I said, I'm going
to I'm going to interview the CEO Jim Daily to
focus on the family. What what what would you say
to that? What would you say about focus on the family?
(01:40):
And I'm going to play the just the voice text
that she said. I don't think I should say it.
I should just play it.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Okay, I'll try to say this without getting emotional. But
I was actually just thinking about it not too long
ago after he passed away years years, years, and I
would donate to the ministry, and I can remember one
(02:10):
year we sent a huge donation because we had the
funds at the time to do that. And I'd just
been sending like a monthly donation and they called me,
had called me over the years and asked for prayer
request that I might have, and I always said, please
(02:31):
pray for my family, pray for my sons.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Well, so you could say that my mom gets emotional
like that, but you could say that it was the prayers,
a focus on the family. I could give that that was.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
A mom's heart right there, my man. I mean, who
doesn't want more prayer for their sons and daughters? But
sons for sure. But that's great. That's a mom's heart.
That's what we try to do every day, and I'm
so kind of her to, you know, support focus and
allow us to do the things we do. So say
hi to your mom for me.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I sure will, and she'll she'll definitely watch this. You
you mentioned earlier that we need the Gospel needs to
be infiltrated into the culture more than more than ever.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I think. So, you know, when I'm talking to friends,
we're just lamenting the fact it feels like this can
of divisiveness has opened up. It feels bigger than ever before,
and I think for that reason, most of us feel
like we need to redouble our efforts, do more to
reach out to hurting world, you know, so critical, and
(03:44):
to help them know that we don't hate them. There's
no hate here. There are prescriptions that work that we
believe as Christians as we apply those things in our lives.
There's no formula. People have free will. Adam and Eve
had free will. But we want to make sure people
informed about the reality of Jesus. And I think so
many people. We got a note the other day from
(04:05):
a man on Death Row who's been listening to Adventures
and Odyssey, of all things, our children's radio drama, and
he came to Christ through Adventures in Odyssey. I mean
there's reach, there's a changed heart this man on death Row.
That's remarkable. But that's what the Lord can do. And
(04:27):
you know, there's nobody beyond the reach of God and
that's what's most important to us.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm sure you have so many of those stories of
story like that man.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, it's awesome. I mean that's what life is all about, right,
I mean figuring out where we're at, why we're here,
what's my purpose? Who am I in Christ? What is
this about? And I just think, you know, Focus does
a I think fairly good job of pulling that meaning together.
You know, even with Charlie Kirk, I loved Erica Kirk's
comments at the memorial. You know that his goal was
(04:59):
to help young men figure it out, to be pursuing
a marriage and having children and investing in those things
that are eternal. We couldn't agree more. And I also
loved her point that if Charlie were to ever run
for president, his number one policy would be to help
the American family. And we get to walk in every
day doing that. It brought tears to my eyes actually
(05:22):
because it is such a humbling thing to be able
to do.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
It certainly is. And so all joking aside of your focus,
and we know where your focus is. But is there
anything within the family you mentioned young men are men?
Is there anything that stands out more than other things?
As you guys get the staff together and you say,
this is where we're going to really be looking this
(05:47):
year to move the needle.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well, I think for us, I mean I'm looking at
a data point. It came out a while back, but
twenty five to thirty five year old men. I think
back in and five, it wasn't that long ago. The
number of married men between the ages of twenty five
and thirty five, it was high. It was like seventy
(06:10):
five percent something like that. Now it's down around thirty percent.
And that right there is the indication should be like
a dashboard, you know, and the light the red light's
going off. Engine trouble, Engine trouble, because again, either through fear,
through social pressure, social influence, young people are losing that
(06:33):
aspirational idea that having a family, getting married, having children
is a good thing. I'm telling you, you end up
sixty sixty five and alone in a big house, with
the end of a big career and lots of money
but nobody to spend it on. That's a sad place.
And I think women right now are finding that. There's articles.
(06:53):
I think sixty Minutes did a special on that. And
this was a big house, a mansion of a woman
who shows a career over a family, and there were
two or three others with her, if I recall correctly,
and Diana Sawyer is asking them about pursuing the profession
over the family, and they all broke into tears. And
I think, I think we're getting to this inflection point
(07:15):
in the culture where maybe doing what men used to
do isn't what we should be doing, and maybe we
need to think again about what is our role. Where
do we derive our sense of self worth. It's not
under some guy's foot, that's not the design whatsoever. But
it's being happy in marriage and doing this together and
(07:37):
raising a family and the ups and downs of that,
like your mom praying for you boys, which is all
part of it. She's got to be proud of you
now she is.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What a fascinating thought. I remember recently seeing a documentary
on Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, you know, at the time from
a fleshly worldview, does it can you be any more manly?
And Arnold Schwarzenegger, And in the accomplishments that he's had
not only in the sports world, but but then in
(08:12):
the movie world and then in politics, you know, he
just kind of achieved the greatest in all of these things.
And the documentary ends he's in a home alone in Idaho,
without family. He has neglected them all and he just has,
you know, this big house and a few nice cars
(08:33):
and nothing else to speak of. It's I don't think
there's anything more sad than to look at the trajectory
of a life that achieves what man thinks is great.
And and Christ says the opposite. He says, if any
of you would be the greatest, he would be the
one who serves Christ being the example of giving his
life as a ransom for all.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Anyway, now, we often talk about that here at focus.
At the end of your life, who's going to be
around your death bed. It's not going to be your
former employer, the business associates. As you built a business,
there might be a couple that stop by to say goodbye,
but typically it's going to be your family that is
there mourning the loss or the potential loss as you're
(09:15):
in that hospital room. And you know, I think so
often people say, why don't we start with the end
in mind? It'd be great for twenty thirty year olds
to start thinking about that. You know, I think the
power of media, the power of Hollywood and social media,
and it's not just that, but it's again just this
confluence and bombardment of what they think, they being the
(09:41):
world think is important in life. And I'm telling you everybody,
it's usually one hundred and eighty degrees opposite. It's not
the big career that's wonderful, but build it together with someone,
enjoy your life together, get married, have children. I think
my greatest regret we have two boys, twenty five and
twenty three, but I regret not having more children. And
(10:04):
when I tell that to my boys, especially when they
were little, they'd smile and go really, I'd say yes,
because they couldn't believe with all the mayhem they were
causing me. Two boys, by the way, you can tell
your mom, Trent and Troy. But you know, there are
rough spots, but we loved every minute of it, every second.
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
That's interesting because you just said that you're, you know,
one of the key demographics that you're looking for and
that you're looking to mold in shape happens to also
be the same demographic as your two boys.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, I'm learning a lot about gen Z.
I'm excited. I'm hopeful. You know, a lot of Christian
leaders feel like, well, they don't know the word well
enough and all those things, and that's true. But you
know what, neither did I in my twenties, and I'm
guessing neither did they these older Christians. I mean, it
takes years to really understand the Word of God, and
(10:55):
you don't even get there in your sixties and seventies.
You think you know it, but it just it's layer
upon layer upon layer. But I think I'm just excited
for the next generation. I think they're going to be
living in an exciting time. You're going to be living
in an exciting time. And I think the Lord's reading
the hearts of people. Even through Charlie Kirk's assassination, I
(11:16):
think there's such a contrast between, you know, the rioting
that occurred with George Floyd, the calmness. You know, somebody
said to me, you know they lit buildings on fire
and those who love Charlie Kirk lit candles. Wow.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Wow, what a thought. What a contrast.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
M You know, it really is and hopefully that's the
spirit of God.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Amen. I feel that same sentiment in so many ways.
And when someone comes as an elder at our church,
when I see someone who it's twenty five, twenty six,
a twenty six year old man come in, I want
to go to him because that's you know, inside. If
I could pick a demographic that I'm looking for in
(12:03):
our church, I'm looking for that guy. Maybe he's newly married,
or maybe he's single, but I want, I want to
pour into that guy because he's our future. And I
think that that's that demographic gets lost in all the
the different media out there that tells us how to
be a man, or what to be a man, or
what to look for in a man, and they just
(12:24):
there's so much to latch onto that when one of
those men walk in the church, I want to pour
into him.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
No, I agree, I think you got it. And I'm
seeing that and my sons and their friends, and you know,
there is it's weird to think of this, but there
is like a pendulum effect with the Holy Spirit. I
don't know what the Lord's doing all the time, but
when things tend to get out of kilter and we're worried,
even as Christians, you know, it says fear not, but
it's hard not to fear. And I think we fall
(12:53):
into that trap being human and fallen in nature and
you know, all of those things. But it's like the
Lord's got it, and we've got to build our confidence
in the fact that it seems when things look as
bleak as they can look, with everything that we've experienced
through COVID, all of that stuff, and then somehow the
Lord just turns his hand and the hearts of twenty
(13:13):
somethings are beginning, especially males, are starting to say, what
are we doing? Where am I? Who am I? And
I heard the other day their church attendance is up
twenty percent in that age group twenty to thirty is
up twenty twenty five percent in the last year or two.
That's encouraging. Now on the other side, female participation in
(13:37):
church ages twenty to thirty is down like seventeen percent,
So it's really odd. It's like young men are coming
to church, young women are leaving the church. But you
know what, I think that's temporary. I think if men
lead those twenty somethings begin to lead, women will come
back to church too.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
No, you're you're exactly right. And I would I would
rather the trend to have that way.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I would.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I would rather say, bring them men in, let's train
them up, Let's teach them what it means to be
a man. Let's teach it, teach them what it means
to have purpose as as an image bearer of God,
and the women will come and go. I like this place.
I like this church. You know that that's logic. The
opposite doesn't work as well. A bunch of women coming
(14:21):
to church younger and all the men are leaving. That
doesn't necessarily make it more attractive for the man to come.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
You know, I think we've had a mess, and I
think when men are derailed, the cultures derailed. And not
that we want to not help young women. I mean
that's we got to Yeah, not what we're saying, but
we put the microscope on where young men are at
You're absolutely right. I mean, I think Jordan Peterson has
attacked that very effectively. Yes, when we talk about young
(14:51):
men being privileged in the culture or society, even young
white men, but just young men of every stripe, every color,
and you look at it, he goes through a li
need which I can't do. But you know, we have men.
Young men have the highest suicide right, the greatest UH
dropout numbers, those that don't complete college, those that don't
(15:12):
go on for graduate degrees. We are in a precarious
position as twenty something young men. And it's great that
I think, by the hand of providence, by God's very hand,
I mean, the hearts of young men is changing. That's good.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
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to think like minded on this question. But but I'll
tell you what I get quite a bit is a
young couple saying should I have children?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Now? Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
When I say yeah, yes.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I think so. You know, you just you put into
your head and Gene and I went through this. She
was doing a chemistry degree. She's at UC Davis doing prevat.
I was working with International Paper at the time up
in the Bay Area, and you know, we had it
mapped out because we're really smart. We were like twenty six,
twenty seven, we had it mapped out. You know, we're
(18:11):
gonna work hard by the house, get Gene through VET school.
And you know, it didn't happen that way. She didn't
go to VET school. We ended up getting married right
at that point, and life took a different twist. But
you know what's so amazing, we always kind of delayed
that decision because we felt we weren't financially in the
(18:32):
right spot. And when we got pregnant with our first born,
we weren't ready. Still, you're never going to be ready
psychologically for that because you feel like you got to
get all these ducks in a row. I would just say,
jump in, get into the deep end of the pool.
God will take care of it. And I believe that,
And especially for those that have family around them that
(18:53):
can shoulder some of that burden, whatever it might be,
that's even better. But don't be afraid to have children.
Children and are a blessing. It ends up being the
biggest thing in life, right. I remember meeting with presidents
and senators and you know, heads of state, and I'd
come home from that flight from DC and I'd come
into my driveway, get out of my car and my
(19:15):
boys would come out. One would grab one leg, one
the other leg, and I would monster walk into the
front door with them hanging on my leg, and I
just remember thinking to the Lord, Lord, this is so
much better than being in that room of big wigs.
I'd rather be right here with my boys. And I
meant it.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I'm sure you did amen to that, and you would
say that even when people say, but the cultures seems
to be increasingly more and more evil, you would want
to bring children into a world.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Like that absolutely, because God needs his people too to
be engaged in changing evil into good. You know Romans
eight twenty eight, Make it happen. You know, those things
that are meant for evil, God will use for good.
So I think generally speaking, it's never an excuse. There's
(20:07):
really never an excuse not to have children in my mind.
And people are going to go, what, that guy's crazy,
But it's true. I'm sixty four now with my two
boys in their twenties. That's how late we had our boys.
And you know, if I could go back, that's what
I would do is I'd love to have four or
five kids or more. That'd be great. But I would
(20:27):
encourage young people not to be afraid, especially if you
have again support around you. You've got your in laws
and your mom and dad that's always great, and brothers
and sisters that can help out in a pinch with
babysitting issues or things. They're real practical stuff. But at
the end of your life, going all the way back
to that comment, that's who's going to be around your
(20:48):
bedside saying I love your dad.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
And man, you know, people will often meditate on esther
for this, the famous passage of who knows if God
had you for such a time as this?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
You know, yeah, who knows? But you know, that's what
really grieves my heart About the issue of abortion, which
my mom considered aborting me. My dad talked her out
of it. It was legal. I was born in sixty one,
but abortion. My mom was forty two when she had me,
and for any woman over forty in California, where I
was born, a woman could choose an abortion just for
(21:22):
medical reasons and they would do it. People don't remember that.
And my dad was the one who talked my mom
out of aborting me, My alcoholic father and they ended
up divorcing when I was five and I had a
lot of headwinds in this life. My mom died at nine,
my dad at eleven. But I think for people that
support abortion, they would look at my life and say,
(21:43):
you should have never been born, Your mom should have
aborted you. This poor white family and southern cow who
has the right to say that to anybody? And from
my perspective being from a poor family, the fifth born
to a forty two year old mom, you know, yeah,
(22:05):
look what the Lord has done. And I think every
child should have chance. It shouldn't be just to determined
on the whim of a woman or a man pressuring
a woman to say we we can't do this, get
an abortion. We had a Super Bowl ad with Tim
Tebow in twenty ten, and you know, our hope was
(22:27):
just that people would think of life. And so he
had a you know, Pam was pregnant with Tim, his mom, Pam,
and it was diagnosed as a tumor. His his body
and her body is diagnosed as a tumor, and you know,
he's not going to be your baby's not going to
be healthy. He's going to have all these problems. Tim
Tebow probably one of the strongest quarterbacks who ever played
(22:49):
the game, and you know it just we did that
Super Bowl ad and a woman who was being told
by her boyfriend she was pregnant while she's watching the
Super Bowl. You know, you got to get an abortion
or I'm going to kill myself. Think of a woman
in that position. And she saw the ad, went to
(23:11):
the website, watched it over and over again, finally contacted us.
We got her connected to a pregnancy resource center where
she could go. She had the baby, Avida. We know
we're here at Focus on the family's baby Avida. The
three point seven million dollars Super Bowl ad saved your life.
You know, it's just awesome. We had her, We had
(23:32):
the mom and her on stage and brought Pam and
Tim Tebow out. Neither knew the other was going to
be there, instant friendship between the mom and Pam Tebow
and you know, just an amazing, amazing night out in
California with you know, focused supporters watching and little Avida,
(23:53):
who then at that point I think was thirteen, Wow,
and just got loved on by people. That's life. That's
what we're talking about. Give that child a chance, don't
snuff he or hers life out before they even have
a chance to beat the odds like I beat the odds.
That's not for others to decide. That's for that person
(24:14):
and for God Almighty to decide how their life is
going to unfold.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
So you mentioned that this woman reached out to Focus
on the Family. Let's give me the ways that people
could reach out or the ways to find you, the
ways to listen on the radio or yeah man podcasts.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
If you have a smartphone, you can download the Focus
on the Family Broadcast app. Get access to everything basically
audio that we do, which is the broadcast, the podcast.
We have marriage podcasts, parenting podcasts. We've got age and
stage parenting help that you just as a parent go
in and put your child's birthday and year in there
and we age it. We send you information every week
(24:54):
telling you how to deal with a two year old,
or a five year old or a fifteen year old,
all free. You just got to go up and sign
up at Focus on the Family dot com, or you
can do that by calling one eight hundred a family
and it's that easy. Focus on the Family dot Com
doesn't get much easier, and there's so much free stuff here.
(25:15):
That's what we just want to encourage families to do well, marriages,
to hold together, push through the tough times, love the kids,
raise the kids in a tender, loving environment. Truth and
love and again, all predictive things, not guarantees their formulas.
But we think you'll have a predictably good outcome if
(25:36):
you raise kids and marry each other and love each
other the way the Bible says too, in.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
An indirect way, through the Lord. I was raised through
focus on the family because my mom did just those things.
She got the newsletters, she got the phone calls. She like,
she said in the message, she was actually shocked that
they would continue to reach out to her to say,
how could we pray for your family?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
You know, in that context so many times we call
it the DR, the donor relationship area and the DR team.
As they do those outbound calls, you'd be surprised and
how often they call to say, hey, we're just calling
to say thanks for your gift, and how can we
pray for you? And people said, I just had a
tragedy this morning, I lost my husband. I'm telling you guys,
(26:21):
I mean, it's amazing how often they're calling at exactly
the right time when someone is in peril. There's something
going on in their life. That is tough, and we're
blessed to do it. I mean, that's the way it
should work. And of course these people are putting the
fuel into the engine here at Focus on the Family
to make it all happen. Last year, we had two
(26:44):
hundred and ninety two thousand people except Christ through Focus
on the Family, and I'm just so blessed by that.
We had something like one hundred and forty thousand marriages
helped through a crisis. We had one hundred and sixty
thousand parents helped through a So we're swinging away as
hard and fast as we can to help marriages hold
(27:06):
together and help families do well. Of course, the motto
here is, you know, to help families thrive in Christ.
Doesn't get any better than that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
No, No, amen, mister Daily, Thank you brother for the
work you've done for many years through Focus on the
Family and all your staff and team there. It's an
honor to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Granger, Thank you and give your mom a big hug.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Sure well, brother, thank you, bye bye. Thank you so
much for hanging out with me on this episode of
the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate you being here. If you're
listening right now, go ahead and rate today's podcast. It
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Speaker 2 (28:04):
Ye ye
Mister Jim Daily, thank you so much for being on brother.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's good to be with you. Granger, what what do you?
What do you?
Speaker 1 (00:07):
What would you say is the main focus of your ministry?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Oh man, good question. You know it's like of your
five children, which one's the most important. But we do
we concentrate on five things every day walking into focus. Evangelism,
discipleship kind of at the base of everything we do. Marriage, parenting,
advocacy for children, which is ultrasound machines, abortion pill reversal,
(00:34):
working with the pregnancy centers to you know, have greater
and greater impact for that abortion minded woman to hopefully
choose life. And then finally culture, how to engage the culture.
And man, this is a time we need to engage culture,
that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You're not kidding, you know. I would have accepted the
answer of family.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
That probably sums it up anything. Family is in our wheelhouse.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I want to tell you something. My family has has
been influenced encouraged by Focus on the Family since I
was born. Focus on the Family started in nineteen seventy seven,
is that right? So that's right, nineteen seven. I was
born in seventy nine.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Okay, now, you're bragging.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
So my mother has My mother literally raised me according
to focus on the family, which is according to the Bible. Yeah,
I messaged her this morning and I said, I'm going
to I'm going to interview the CEO Jim Daily to
focus on the family. What what what would you say
to that? What would you say about focus on the family?
(01:40):
And I'm going to play the just the voice text
that she said. I don't think I should say it.
I should just play it.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Okay, I'll try to say this without getting emotional. But
I was actually just thinking about it not too long
ago after he passed away years years, years, and I
would donate to the ministry, and I can remember one
(02:10):
year we sent a huge donation because we had the
funds at the time to do that. And I'd just
been sending like a monthly donation and they called me,
had called me over the years and asked for prayer
request that I might have, and I always said, please
(02:31):
pray for my family, pray for my sons.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Well, so you could say that my mom gets emotional
like that, but you could say that it was the prayers,
a focus on the family. I could give that that was.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
A mom's heart right there, my man. I mean, who
doesn't want more prayer for their sons and daughters? But
sons for sure. But that's great. That's a mom's heart.
That's what we try to do every day, and I'm
so kind of her to, you know, support focus and
allow us to do the things we do. So say
hi to your mom for me.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I sure will, and she'll she'll definitely watch this. You
you mentioned earlier that we need the Gospel needs to
be infiltrated into the culture more than more than ever.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I think. So, you know, when I'm talking to friends,
we're just lamenting the fact it feels like this can
of divisiveness has opened up. It feels bigger than ever before,
and I think for that reason, most of us feel
like we need to redouble our efforts, do more to
reach out to hurting world, you know, so critical, and
(03:44):
to help them know that we don't hate them. There's
no hate here. There are prescriptions that work that we
believe as Christians as we apply those things in our lives.
There's no formula. People have free will. Adam and Eve
had free will. But we want to make sure people
informed about the reality of Jesus. And I think so
many people. We got a note the other day from
(04:05):
a man on Death Row who's been listening to Adventures
and Odyssey, of all things, our children's radio drama, and
he came to Christ through Adventures in Odyssey. I mean
there's reach, there's a changed heart this man on death Row.
That's remarkable. But that's what the Lord can do. And
(04:27):
you know, there's nobody beyond the reach of God and
that's what's most important to us.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm sure you have so many of those stories of
story like that man.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, it's awesome. I mean that's what life is all about, right,
I mean figuring out where we're at, why we're here,
what's my purpose? Who am I in Christ? What is
this about? And I just think, you know, Focus does
a I think fairly good job of pulling that meaning together.
You know, even with Charlie Kirk, I loved Erica Kirk's
comments at the memorial. You know that his goal was
(04:59):
to help young men figure it out, to be pursuing
a marriage and having children and investing in those things
that are eternal. We couldn't agree more. And I also
loved her point that if Charlie were to ever run
for president, his number one policy would be to help
the American family. And we get to walk in every
day doing that. It brought tears to my eyes actually
(05:22):
because it is such a humbling thing to be able
to do.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
It certainly is. And so all joking aside of your focus,
and we know where your focus is. But is there
anything within the family you mentioned young men are men?
Is there anything that stands out more than other things?
As you guys get the staff together and you say,
this is where we're going to really be looking this
(05:47):
year to move the needle.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well, I think for us, I mean I'm looking at
a data point. It came out a while back, but
twenty five to thirty five year old men. I think
back in and five, it wasn't that long ago. The
number of married men between the ages of twenty five
and thirty five, it was high. It was like seventy
(06:10):
five percent something like that. Now it's down around thirty percent.
And that right there is the indication should be like
a dashboard, you know, and the light the red light's
going off. Engine trouble, Engine trouble, because again, either through fear,
through social pressure, social influence, young people are losing that
(06:33):
aspirational idea that having a family, getting married, having children
is a good thing. I'm telling you, you end up
sixty sixty five and alone in a big house, with
the end of a big career and lots of money
but nobody to spend it on. That's a sad place.
And I think women right now are finding that. There's articles.
(06:53):
I think sixty Minutes did a special on that. And
this was a big house, a mansion of a woman
who shows a career over a family, and there were
two or three others with her, if I recall correctly,
and Diana Sawyer is asking them about pursuing the profession
over the family, and they all broke into tears. And
I think, I think we're getting to this inflection point
(07:15):
in the culture where maybe doing what men used to
do isn't what we should be doing, and maybe we
need to think again about what is our role. Where
do we derive our sense of self worth. It's not
under some guy's foot, that's not the design whatsoever. But
it's being happy in marriage and doing this together and
(07:37):
raising a family and the ups and downs of that,
like your mom praying for you boys, which is all
part of it. She's got to be proud of you
now she is.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What a fascinating thought. I remember recently seeing a documentary
on Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, you know, at the time from
a fleshly worldview, does it can you be any more manly?
And Arnold Schwarzenegger, And in the accomplishments that he's had
not only in the sports world, but but then in
(08:12):
the movie world and then in politics, you know, he
just kind of achieved the greatest in all of these things.
And the documentary ends he's in a home alone in Idaho,
without family. He has neglected them all and he just has,
you know, this big house and a few nice cars
(08:33):
and nothing else to speak of. It's I don't think
there's anything more sad than to look at the trajectory
of a life that achieves what man thinks is great.
And and Christ says the opposite. He says, if any
of you would be the greatest, he would be the
one who serves Christ being the example of giving his
life as a ransom for all.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Anyway, now, we often talk about that here at focus.
At the end of your life, who's going to be
around your death bed. It's not going to be your
former employer, the business associates. As you built a business,
there might be a couple that stop by to say goodbye,
but typically it's going to be your family that is
there mourning the loss or the potential loss as you're
(09:15):
in that hospital room. And you know, I think so
often people say, why don't we start with the end
in mind? It'd be great for twenty thirty year olds
to start thinking about that. You know, I think the
power of media, the power of Hollywood and social media,
and it's not just that, but it's again just this
confluence and bombardment of what they think, they being the
(09:41):
world think is important in life. And I'm telling you everybody,
it's usually one hundred and eighty degrees opposite. It's not
the big career that's wonderful, but build it together with someone,
enjoy your life together, get married, have children. I think
my greatest regret we have two boys, twenty five and
twenty three, but I regret not having more children. And
(10:04):
when I tell that to my boys, especially when they
were little, they'd smile and go really, I'd say yes,
because they couldn't believe with all the mayhem they were
causing me. Two boys, by the way, you can tell
your mom, Trent and Troy. But you know, there are
rough spots, but we loved every minute of it, every second.
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
That's interesting because you just said that you're, you know,
one of the key demographics that you're looking for and
that you're looking to mold in shape happens to also
be the same demographic as your two boys.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, I'm learning a lot about gen Z.
I'm excited. I'm hopeful. You know, a lot of Christian
leaders feel like, well, they don't know the word well
enough and all those things, and that's true. But you
know what, neither did I in my twenties, and I'm
guessing neither did they these older Christians. I mean, it
takes years to really understand the Word of God, and
(10:55):
you don't even get there in your sixties and seventies.
You think you know it, but it just it's layer
upon layer upon layer. But I think I'm just excited
for the next generation. I think they're going to be
living in an exciting time. You're going to be living
in an exciting time. And I think the Lord's reading
the hearts of people. Even through Charlie Kirk's assassination, I
(11:16):
think there's such a contrast between, you know, the rioting
that occurred with George Floyd, the calmness. You know, somebody
said to me, you know they lit buildings on fire
and those who love Charlie Kirk lit candles. Wow.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Wow, what a thought. What a contrast.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
M You know, it really is and hopefully that's the
spirit of God.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Amen. I feel that same sentiment in so many ways.
And when someone comes as an elder at our church,
when I see someone who it's twenty five, twenty six,
a twenty six year old man come in, I want
to go to him because that's you know, inside. If
I could pick a demographic that I'm looking for in
(12:03):
our church, I'm looking for that guy. Maybe he's newly married,
or maybe he's single, but I want, I want to
pour into that guy because he's our future. And I
think that that's that demographic gets lost in all the
the different media out there that tells us how to
be a man, or what to be a man, or
what to look for in a man, and they just
(12:24):
there's so much to latch onto that when one of
those men walk in the church, I want to pour
into him.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
No, I agree, I think you got it. And I'm
seeing that and my sons and their friends, and you know,
there is it's weird to think of this, but there
is like a pendulum effect with the Holy Spirit. I
don't know what the Lord's doing all the time, but
when things tend to get out of kilter and we're worried,
even as Christians, you know, it says fear not, but
it's hard not to fear. And I think we fall
(12:53):
into that trap being human and fallen in nature and
you know, all of those things. But it's like the
Lord's got it, and we've got to build our confidence
in the fact that it seems when things look as
bleak as they can look, with everything that we've experienced
through COVID, all of that stuff, and then somehow the
Lord just turns his hand and the hearts of twenty
(13:13):
somethings are beginning, especially males, are starting to say, what
are we doing? Where am I? Who am I? And
I heard the other day their church attendance is up
twenty percent in that age group twenty to thirty is
up twenty twenty five percent in the last year or two.
That's encouraging. Now on the other side, female participation in
(13:37):
church ages twenty to thirty is down like seventeen percent,
So it's really odd. It's like young men are coming
to church, young women are leaving the church. But you
know what, I think that's temporary. I think if men
lead those twenty somethings begin to lead, women will come
back to church too.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
No, you're you're exactly right. And I would I would
rather the trend to have that way.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I would.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I would rather say, bring them men in, let's train
them up, Let's teach them what it means to be
a man. Let's teach it, teach them what it means
to have purpose as as an image bearer of God,
and the women will come and go. I like this place.
I like this church. You know that that's logic. The
opposite doesn't work as well. A bunch of women coming
(14:21):
to church younger and all the men are leaving. That
doesn't necessarily make it more attractive for the man to come.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
You know, I think we've had a mess, and I
think when men are derailed, the cultures derailed. And not
that we want to not help young women. I mean
that's we got to Yeah, not what we're saying, but
we put the microscope on where young men are at
You're absolutely right. I mean, I think Jordan Peterson has
attacked that very effectively. Yes, when we talk about young
(14:51):
men being privileged in the culture or society, even young
white men, but just young men of every stripe, every color,
and you look at it, he goes through a li
need which I can't do. But you know, we have men.
Young men have the highest suicide right, the greatest UH
dropout numbers, those that don't complete college, those that don't
(15:12):
go on for graduate degrees. We are in a precarious
position as twenty something young men. And it's great that
I think, by the hand of providence, by God's very hand,
I mean, the hearts of young men is changing. That's good.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
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to think like minded on this question. But but I'll
tell you what I get quite a bit is a
young couple saying should I have children?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Now? Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
When I say yeah, yes.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I think so. You know, you just you put into
your head and Gene and I went through this. She
was doing a chemistry degree. She's at UC Davis doing prevat.
I was working with International Paper at the time up
in the Bay Area, and you know, we had it
mapped out because we're really smart. We were like twenty six,
twenty seven, we had it mapped out. You know, we're
(18:11):
gonna work hard by the house, get Gene through VET school.
And you know, it didn't happen that way. She didn't
go to VET school. We ended up getting married right
at that point, and life took a different twist. But
you know what's so amazing, we always kind of delayed
that decision because we felt we weren't financially in the
(18:32):
right spot. And when we got pregnant with our first born,
we weren't ready. Still, you're never going to be ready
psychologically for that because you feel like you got to
get all these ducks in a row. I would just say,
jump in, get into the deep end of the pool.
God will take care of it. And I believe that,
And especially for those that have family around them that
(18:53):
can shoulder some of that burden, whatever it might be,
that's even better. But don't be afraid to have children.
Children and are a blessing. It ends up being the
biggest thing in life, right. I remember meeting with presidents
and senators and you know, heads of state, and I'd
come home from that flight from DC and I'd come
into my driveway, get out of my car and my
(19:15):
boys would come out. One would grab one leg, one
the other leg, and I would monster walk into the
front door with them hanging on my leg, and I
just remember thinking to the Lord, Lord, this is so
much better than being in that room of big wigs.
I'd rather be right here with my boys. And I
meant it.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I'm sure you did amen to that, and you would
say that even when people say, but the cultures seems
to be increasingly more and more evil, you would want
to bring children into a world.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Like that absolutely, because God needs his people too to
be engaged in changing evil into good. You know Romans
eight twenty eight, Make it happen. You know, those things
that are meant for evil, God will use for good.
So I think generally speaking, it's never an excuse. There's
(20:07):
really never an excuse not to have children in my mind.
And people are going to go, what, that guy's crazy,
But it's true. I'm sixty four now with my two
boys in their twenties. That's how late we had our boys.
And you know, if I could go back, that's what
I would do is I'd love to have four or
five kids or more. That'd be great. But I would
(20:27):
encourage young people not to be afraid, especially if you
have again support around you. You've got your in laws
and your mom and dad that's always great, and brothers
and sisters that can help out in a pinch with
babysitting issues or things. They're real practical stuff. But at
the end of your life, going all the way back
to that comment, that's who's going to be around your
(20:48):
bedside saying I love your dad.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
And man, you know, people will often meditate on esther
for this, the famous passage of who knows if God
had you for such a time as this?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
You know, yeah, who knows? But you know, that's what
really grieves my heart About the issue of abortion, which
my mom considered aborting me. My dad talked her out
of it. It was legal. I was born in sixty one,
but abortion. My mom was forty two when she had me,
and for any woman over forty in California, where I
was born, a woman could choose an abortion just for
(21:22):
medical reasons and they would do it. People don't remember that.
And my dad was the one who talked my mom
out of aborting me, My alcoholic father and they ended
up divorcing when I was five and I had a
lot of headwinds in this life. My mom died at nine,
my dad at eleven. But I think for people that
support abortion, they would look at my life and say,
(21:43):
you should have never been born, Your mom should have
aborted you. This poor white family and southern cow who
has the right to say that to anybody? And from
my perspective being from a poor family, the fifth born
to a forty two year old mom, you know, yeah,
(22:05):
look what the Lord has done. And I think every
child should have chance. It shouldn't be just to determined
on the whim of a woman or a man pressuring
a woman to say we we can't do this, get
an abortion. We had a Super Bowl ad with Tim
Tebow in twenty ten, and you know, our hope was
(22:27):
just that people would think of life. And so he
had a you know, Pam was pregnant with Tim, his mom, Pam,
and it was diagnosed as a tumor. His his body
and her body is diagnosed as a tumor, and you know,
he's not going to be your baby's not going to
be healthy. He's going to have all these problems. Tim
Tebow probably one of the strongest quarterbacks who ever played
(22:49):
the game, and you know it just we did that
Super Bowl ad and a woman who was being told
by her boyfriend she was pregnant while she's watching the
Super Bowl. You know, you got to get an abortion
or I'm going to kill myself. Think of a woman
in that position. And she saw the ad, went to
(23:11):
the website, watched it over and over again, finally contacted us.
We got her connected to a pregnancy resource center where
she could go. She had the baby, Avida. We know
we're here at Focus on the family's baby Avida. The
three point seven million dollars Super Bowl ad saved your life.
You know, it's just awesome. We had her, We had
(23:32):
the mom and her on stage and brought Pam and
Tim Tebow out. Neither knew the other was going to
be there, instant friendship between the mom and Pam Tebow
and you know, just an amazing, amazing night out in
California with you know, focused supporters watching and little Avida,
(23:53):
who then at that point I think was thirteen, Wow,
and just got loved on by people. That's life. That's
what we're talking about. Give that child a chance, don't
snuff he or hers life out before they even have
a chance to beat the odds like I beat the odds.
That's not for others to decide. That's for that person
(24:14):
and for God Almighty to decide how their life is
going to unfold.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
So you mentioned that this woman reached out to Focus
on the Family. Let's give me the ways that people
could reach out or the ways to find you, the
ways to listen on the radio or yeah man podcasts.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
If you have a smartphone, you can download the Focus
on the Family Broadcast app. Get access to everything basically
audio that we do, which is the broadcast, the podcast.
We have marriage podcasts, parenting podcasts. We've got age and
stage parenting help that you just as a parent go
in and put your child's birthday and year in there
and we age it. We send you information every week
(24:54):
telling you how to deal with a two year old,
or a five year old or a fifteen year old,
all free. You just got to go up and sign
up at Focus on the Family dot com, or you
can do that by calling one eight hundred a family
and it's that easy. Focus on the Family dot Com
doesn't get much easier, and there's so much free stuff here.
(25:15):
That's what we just want to encourage families to do well, marriages,
to hold together, push through the tough times, love the kids,
raise the kids in a tender, loving environment. Truth and
love and again, all predictive things, not guarantees their formulas.
But we think you'll have a predictably good outcome if
(25:36):
you raise kids and marry each other and love each
other the way the Bible says too, in.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
An indirect way, through the Lord. I was raised through
focus on the family because my mom did just those things.
She got the newsletters, she got the phone calls. She like,
she said in the message, she was actually shocked that
they would continue to reach out to her to say,
how could we pray for your family?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
You know, in that context so many times we call
it the DR, the donor relationship area and the DR team.
As they do those outbound calls, you'd be surprised and
how often they call to say, hey, we're just calling
to say thanks for your gift, and how can we
pray for you? And people said, I just had a
tragedy this morning, I lost my husband. I'm telling you guys,
(26:21):
I mean, it's amazing how often they're calling at exactly
the right time when someone is in peril. There's something
going on in their life. That is tough, and we're
blessed to do it. I mean, that's the way it
should work. And of course these people are putting the
fuel into the engine here at Focus on the Family
to make it all happen. Last year, we had two
(26:44):
hundred and ninety two thousand people except Christ through Focus
on the Family, and I'm just so blessed by that.
We had something like one hundred and forty thousand marriages
helped through a crisis. We had one hundred and sixty
thousand parents helped through a So we're swinging away as
hard and fast as we can to help marriages hold
(27:06):
together and help families do well. Of course, the motto
here is, you know, to help families thrive in Christ.
Doesn't get any better than that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
No, No, amen, mister Daily, Thank you brother for the
work you've done for many years through Focus on the
Family and all your staff and team there. It's an
honor to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Granger, Thank you and give your mom a big hug.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Sure well, brother, thank you, bye bye. Thank you so
much for hanging out with me on this episode of
the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate you being here. If you're
listening right now, go ahead and rate today's podcast. It
helps more folks find the show. And if you're tuning
in on the iHeartRadio app, you could actually set this
podcast as one of your presets, which is cool that way.
I'm just one tap away. If you're watching on YouTube,
(27:52):
don't forget to hit like and subscribe so you don't
miss any new episodes. And if you've got a question
you want answered right here on the show, just email
me podcast at grangersmith dot com. I'd love to hear
from you. Thanks again for being here. We'll see you
next time.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Ye ye
Host
Granger Smith
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