September 30, 2025 • 37 mins
You might not think it’s for you, but it turns out meditation is for everyone! This week hosts Lea Palmieri and Matt Stillo are joined by Kessonga Giscombe, a mindfulness and meditation teacher. He explains the very simple ways we all can incorporate meditation into our days, what it actually does to help your physical and mental body, and how it’s even changing lives in elementary schools.
You and follow Kessonga and reach out to him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kessongagiscombe/
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Ruby.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi, I'm Leah Palmery.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
And I'm Matt still though, welcome to grown up stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Today we're going to learn one of life's most important skills,
slowing down.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
That's right, Leah. And are you someone that is good
at slowing down?
Speaker 4 (00:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Not at all, are you?
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (00:27):
No?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
In fact, I am the least present person in the world,
So I think slowing down would be something that I
should learn. And unfortunately I wasn't with you on this
interview to learn it. But I can't wait to listen in.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
We missed you very much, and you are going to
pick up some very important skills when you listen, because
today we are talking about meditating, and I'm so excited.
We're joined by Kaisanga Giscombe, who is a certified mindfulness
and meditation teacher, and he is going to improve our
lives with all of his insight. Truly. Go ahead, take
(00:58):
a deep breath because piece is on the way.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I can't wait for him to teach us about what
meditation really is, what the benefits are, and how you
can become better at it every day.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Spoiler alert, Matt, It's actually very simple.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
You can do it.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I believe in you. You can actually incorporate this into
your everyday life, and you're gonna feel so much better
when you do. Honestly, I don't know a single person
who couldn't use an extra dose of meditation in their life.
So let's learn from Kai Songa Giscombe.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Greetings, Greetings. My name is Ka Songa Giscombe. I am
presently a mindfulness and meditation teacher. I'm a former licensed acupuncturist,
former license psychotherapist, but full time mindfulness and meditation teacher
these days. I'm also a writer. I'm a native New
Yorker currently residing in North Carolina, and meditation really really
(01:54):
saved my life. I'm all about mindfulness and meditation and
being patient with yourself and all about present moment awareness.
And with that being said, I would love to start
out by dropping into a very brief meditation.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Let's do it, and.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
If it's comfortable for everyone, just taking a gentle, deep
breath into your nose and out through your mouth, and
with that exhalation, just allowing your full presence and attention
to gently drop into this moment right here and right now,
(02:28):
allowing your eyes to close, if that's comfortable for you,
noticing your posture, nice, dignified, comfortable posture of awareness, and
now just shifting the attention to your breathing, to your breath,
and just noticing the coming and going of your breath,
each in breath and each outbreath, not forcing anything at all,
(02:53):
breathing naturally, and once again, if it's comfortable for you,
taking a gentle, deep breath into your nose and out
through your mouth, allowing your eyes to open if they
were closed, maybe adding some gentle movement to your space.
(03:14):
And yeah, let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I mean I could have stayed like that all day.
Just to be clear, I do have many questions, but
I'm like, should we just disregard them and just cont well,
thank you so much for bringing us on that journey
to start off. I absolutely needed that today. So I'm
glad that we are now very present and in the
right space to have this conversation. So let's start out
(03:38):
with a very basic question, and we have all hopefully
just experienced it. Hopefully no closing your eyes if you're
driving while listening to this. But on a very basic level,
what is meditation.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Meditation on a very basic level is bringing your full
attention to the present moment, you can do it formally,
you can do it informally, but it's really putting your
attention on something, whether it's your breath, whether it's a mantra,
whether it's an object or a sound, but it's taking
that moment to just pause and bring you full attention
(04:11):
to that object or sound or whatever you choose.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I can't imagine anyone would have just experienced that really
nice moment of meditation and not wanting to do more
of it, because I certainly did. But I think, and
this is a shout out to my co host Matt
and also his mom, who he is trying very much
to get into yoga, I think there can be a
little bit of a stigma around it, like, oh, is
this like too hippie ish and what am I doing?
(04:38):
What can we let people know about meditation, that there
are real health benefits to this. How can we help
people to start to try it out and to start
to experience those benefits just in their everyday life.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Sure? Sure, And I love that you mentioned that there
are many stigmas, because there are, and I think those
stigmas is what makes it more difficult for people to
embrace this idea of meditation and mindfulness. They are different,
but I do use them interchangeably. One of the ways
to dispunge these stigmas is to talk about what meditation
and mindfulness isn't right, So it isn't about perfection, it
(05:14):
isn't about floating and being tranquil at all times. It's
really about bringing your attention to whatever it is that
you're doing in the moment. So, for instance, you and
I are having this conversation right now, right Leah, So
essentially this can be a meditation in of itself because
I'm bringing my full attention to this conversation. Theoretically speaking, right, Yeah,
(05:37):
it takes practice, but even something as simple as brushing
your teeth, getting dressed, conversations, allowing the full attention to
be with that activity that you're doing in the moment.
And it's tough. It's tough because usually our minds are
just going, they're going a mile a minute. Either we're
focused on what's to come or with thinking abouttle ruminating
(06:01):
about the past. And while we're doing that, our present
moment lives are just passing us by.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah. I always forget did I put on deodorant today?
I can never remember, and I do just need to
be present and be like swiped under the left, swiped
under the right, we're good to go.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
Or in the shower, right in the shower. That's something
happens with me. Did I wash my left foot?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yes, exactly, yes, yeah, I'm like, did I wash my face?
I've either done it zero one or now two times,
we don't know, But once I click into the moment,
then it does happen. Before we get into a little
bit more about the practice, what are some of the
physical and mental benefits of incorporating meditation into your life?
Speaker 5 (06:41):
A great question. There's been literally hundreds and hundreds of
research studies done on the benefits of mindfulness and meditation.
Often I serve as the meditation instructor on such studies.
So some of the benefits lower blood pressure, reduce the
occurrence of headaches, decreasing the currens of these chronic diseases
(07:03):
such as diabetes. And then the big one, and this
is something I touched for me personally, is not so
much stress reduction, but I like to say stress resiliency ooh,
because sometimes the source of that stress it's not something
that you can reduce or get rid of, right, it
is present. But what you can do is increase your
resiliency to that stress, Yes, your ability to bounce back
(07:28):
from that stressful experience. So mindfulness and meditation has been
huge as far as increasing your stress resiliency. A big
one also is sleep. Yes, many people deal with sleep irregularities.
So mindfulness and meditation has been proven to improve sleep
patterns tremendously.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Need it, obviously, How does doing meditation work to have
these benefits on your mind and body?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
So we're gonna get a little scientific here. Let's go.
Let's go absolutely. So you have the nervousness, all right,
Then you have the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic
nervous system. So the sympathetic nervous system is that part
of the nervous system that's known as fight or flight.
It's designed inherently in our body to protect us either
(08:15):
getting us ready in the face of danger to either
fight or to run from that danger. So it serves
us well. And so what happens is during this sympathetic
nervous system response, a lot of hormones are secreted in
the body. One of these hormones is a common one,
stress hormone, as cortisol. So cortasol is designed to dump
(08:36):
sugar into the bloodstream. Why do we need sugar in
the bloodstream during fight or flight because we need that
quick burst of energy either to fight or to run.
So what happens when the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated.
Soon after what kicks in is the parasympathetic nervous system. Now,
a parasympathetic nervous system, also known as rest and digest
(08:58):
is designed to bring the sympathetic nervous system back down
so it counters the sympathetic nervous system. Now, what happens
during chronic stress is that sympathetic nervous system is stimulated
and it stays stimulated. You get the surge of these
hormones being secreted in the body and it doesn't shut off. So,
(09:20):
for instance, if cortisol is continuously being secreted in the
body and cortosol is in charge of increasing glucose in
the bloodstream, what kind of disease can result?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Diabetes?
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Diabetes exactly, yep. And so what's wild with stress in particular,
Not only does it continuously stimulate the sympathetic nervous system,
but it actually with chronic stress, it has been proven
to destroy the parasympathetic nervous system. So not only is
your sympathetic nervous system consistently being stimulated, but now the
(09:52):
parasympathetic nervous system it doesn't operate, So you're just in
this chronic state of stress. So that's where a lot
of chronic diseases come from. Blood pressure, diabetes, which can
lead to stroke, heart attacking, what have you. Yeah, Now,
the beautiful thing about mindfulness and meditation. Studies have shown
that not only does mindfulness and meditation stimulate the parasympathetic
(10:14):
nervous system, but it also repairs that part of the
parasympathetic nervous system that has been destroyed. So when I
found that particular piece out, I was blown away. Yeah,
because I know, like, for instance, taking a deep breath
in through the nose and now through the mouth, that
acting of itself stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. That's why
(10:37):
oftentimes when someone is stressed out, what do we say
to them, Chill, chill, take a deep breath. Yeah. Right,
But with meditation, not only does it stimulate the parasympathetic
nervous system, but it also repairs the parts of the
parasympathetic nervous system that has been damaged from chronic stress.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Take that, CORTI is all, we don't need that much
of you today. Great. I love the sciencey part of
it too, but let's talk about just the practical part. Okay,
I'm going to do this. I really want to start
on my meditation practice. What do I do? Do I
just sit there? How do I get started with really
incorporating this into my everyday life?
Speaker 5 (11:14):
So what you want to do is you want to
really start meditating for at least one hour a day?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (11:21):
Absolutely not. So that's what I thought.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I was gonna say, that sounds wonderful. Where does he
think I am finding that one hour?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
But that's what I thought though. When I first discovered
mindfulness of meditation, I thought that's what I had to do.
I thought because I was looking at all the gurus
and I even heard Oh I forgot who it was,
but they were interviewing on Oprah and he's saying he
meditates for one to two hours a day. I was like, shit,
that is.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
The appropriate response to that, by the way.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Yes, I was like, that's what I have to do.
And so I actually tried to do that in the
beginning and obviously that was not sustainable by any means.
And plus I have tight hips, so I was trying
to sit cross leg with not a good look. But
then I realized I don't have to do that. So
if you want to start out with a meditation practice,
(12:13):
something that I recommend to all my clients is to
keep it simple. So a technique that I often recommend is,
all right, let me ask you, leam, when you wake
up in the morning, like literally physically, how does that
look from when you open your eyes?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It looks a little like Yeah, it depends on the
time of the year too. Usually it's do I see
the light outside? And can I hear the birdies? And
so do I know that it's like a time that
my body is supposed to be awake or is it
still dark and quiet? And I should be rolling over?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
All right? So you roll over and that's perfect. Right
now you're tuning into your present environment, so you listen
for the birds, right, yes, all right, that's awesome. So
for you, I would start there. Okay, if that's something
that you're used to doing, then if you're my client,
I will say to start there as soon as you
open your eyes. If you're used to listen for those
nature sounds. Take a moment, maybe take a gentle, deep
breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, and
(13:05):
with that exhalation, bring your attention maybe to how you're
feeling your body, but then bring your attention to the
nature sounds, because that's what you're used to, right for
someone that's not used to listening for nature sounds. At
some point, you're going to have to sit up and
your feet are gonna have to hit the floor at
some point. So what I recommend is use that as
(13:25):
soon as your feet hit the floor, that's your prompt,
oh right there on the edge of your bed, drop
into a gentle practice. I love this, and it doesn't
have to be thirty minutes, literally one to three minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Just breathing and just centering yourself right and bringing.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Your attention to your breath, bringing your attention to how
you're feeling. Feed flat on the floor. I like to
call it a comfortable and dignified posture of awareness. Sitting
up nice and straight. You can close your eyes if
you want to, but you just woke up so that
I might make you want to go back to sleeep
so you can keep your eyes open, right, and just
maybe looking slightly downward and just drop into the present moment,
(14:03):
bring your attention to what's happening here and now, and
then eventually bring your attention to your breathing and just
for a few breaths, noticing like we did when we
opened up today, the inhalation and the exhalation. You're gonna
notice thoughts, you might hear sounds, that's fine. That is
what we call mild distractions. Noticing the distractions and bringing
the attention back to the breath, always coming back to
(14:25):
that focal point. Now. The idea here, and this is
a huge word that I use frequently, is consistency. Consistency
is key. So doing that every day eventually, and this
is how it worked out for me. And of course
you might miss a day or two, and that's fine.
So being gentle with yourself definitely through the process, and
(14:46):
I can almost guarantee it, you'll find that if you
do it consistently, you may think one day, okay, three minutes,
let me go a little more. Let me see what
five minutes feels like. Let me go a little more,
eight minutes, right, And so it gently increases, and it's
fine if it doesn't, okay, but I think you'll find
with that consistency starting your day like that, it feels
good and it brings you into that present moment awareness.
(15:09):
It trains you and gets you ready to kind of
be in that space for the day.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I love this. This is very easy to incorporate because
usually I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, feet
on the floor, preparing myself for when I stand up
and what part of my body is going to hurt
first in the morning, so you get me. You have
tight hips, so you know that when you stand up,
there's gonna be some creaking.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Yeah, absolutely, or you grab your phone, yeah, scrolling.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Oh well, I'm trying to break that habit. I am trying.
But yes, this is much better of really feeling present
before I'm even all the way out of my bed.
I can work with this for sure. And we all
have one to three minutes then, so that's nice. Yeah,
if not, set your alarm clock for one to three
minutes earlier when you need to get up, and then
we can start to really incorporate this. We'll be right
(15:53):
back after a quick.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Break and we're back with more grown up stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
How do I don't the next question is going to
be a little tougher for you, Which is what am
I working towards when I'm really trying to build this
practice of meditation.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Well, it's not necessarily really working towards anything. There's a
concept of mindfulness called nonstriving. You know. We all have
goals in life.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Right hopefully?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Yeah, I mean, even if it's just to have a
good day.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah yeah, that's a big goal.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so we all set these goals. And
there's nothing wrong with setting goals, nothing wrong with having goals.
But oftentimes what happens is wing we set these goals,
we're hyper focused on the goal, and these goals are
going to happen when in the future. So if we're
so hyper focused on what's to come, we're missing out
(16:54):
on right now, this present moment. I like to use
the analogy of sports. I used to work a lot
with athletes. So in any given sport, what is the
ultimate goal?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Winning championships?
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Yes, that's the ultimate goal, no matter what the sport.
The road to that championship usually starts in the preseason.
Oh yeah, and usually it's a workout. And then after
that workout, let me shift into strategies or plays if
you're dealing with other sports, right, so then you have
to practice those plays. Then the season starts starts with
that first game. So the idea with mindfulness is bringing
(17:31):
your full attention to each moment. Because if I'm in
the preseason workout and all I'm thinking about is that championship,
then how effective is that workout really being if I'm
not fully focused on it. Now doesn't mean that you
have to forget about your goals. In fact, I encourage
my clients every so often look at your goal and
(17:52):
envision yourself getting that goal, use that visualization technique, and
then gently let it go and bring your full attention
back to the present moment. So oftentimes we're in this
autopilot mind state where again we're either thinking about the
future or ruminating about the past, but our present moment
experience is just passing us by, so we're not experiencing
(18:14):
fully life itself. Yeah, so that's what mindfulness, you know,
a meditation, It's really just designed to bring you a
full awareness to right here and right now.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
How do I know that I'm doing it right? Because
having that one to three minutes in the morning is wonderful,
But that is also time when your brain starts to
kick in and you're thinking, Oh, I got to go
buy bananas at the grocery start today, and oh I
didn't write back to that email from yesterday, and oh
I can't believe I still have that laundry. How do
you push those aside to really get into I'm in
(18:45):
this moment right here, and this is where I'm focusing.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
There is it saying there's no right way to meditate.
So during your meditation, I do encourage you to have
a dignified positive awareness, right.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
You don't want to be sleepy? Yeah? I like that
you say dignify too, because that really does make me
feel like the queen that I am. And so that
does help me remember like you know, you are sitting
up straight girl, and you are ready exactly.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
It kind of promotes that idea of awareness. That's what
it's really all about, just that awareness. And so if
during the meditation you're aware, oh wow, my mind is
really going right now, the thoughts are just flooding in.
Guess what that's your experience in that moment, and that's
perfectly okay. Yeah, if you try to control your thoughts,
if you try to control what pops up into your mind.
(19:30):
You gotta drive yourself bananas, right, I mean, I think
we've all experienced where, for no rhyme or reason, some
absurd thought pops up into our head. Yes, we've all
experienced like where did that come from? Yes, so notice
the thoughts, even if it's an ache. As I mentioned,
I have tight hips.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
When I first started, there's a sharp pain that starts
in my hip, and the idea, okay, let me notice
the pain, try to ignore it. That can even exacerbate it.
So okay, let me breathe into it. And then course,
if you need to shift, shift your position and you calibrate.
So it's the same thing in life. If I'm riding
the bus, I remember I grew up in New York
and I was not practicing back then. But if I was,
(20:13):
it took me an hour and a half one way
to get to school. Wow, I have to travel from
the Bronx to Harlem. So you can imagine that commute.
I was fully stimulated and at the same time thinking
about what was to come for school. And so if
you take the morning commute, it's easy for your attention
to just be pinging all over the place and that's
(20:34):
fine if you're driving, all right, let me bring my
attention back to driving. How scary is that? Right?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (20:42):
All right, your mind might drift off again, Okay, let
me bring it back. So that's literally the practice noticing
when your mind is fragmented and bringing it back. Noticing
and bringing it back. You ever watched the Mandalorian? Yes, okay,
so remember in the Mandelorian this is the way. Yes,
So this is the practice noticing and bringing it back,
(21:03):
Rinse and repeat.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
And if baby Yoda's there, then baby Yoda's there.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
So all right, exactly exactly. And being gentle with yourself.
You know, I think there's this thing where you're supposed
to be perfect, and perfection can be so dangerous. It
really can be so dangerous. So there's another concept of
mindfulness called non judging. Us as human beings, we judge
everything everything, We judge everybody, and oftentimes we judge ourselves.
(21:27):
Oh yes, and oftentimes that judgment is negative, self deprecating
and unwarranted. Right exactly, So just noticing, Okay, I'm fully
judging myself right now. All right, let me get myself together, cash,
let's let that go.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Also, I think a nice way of thinking about meditation,
especially when you're just starting out with that one to
three minutes a morning, is that's one to three minutes
for you, just for you, and the whole rest of
the day is going to be about kids and your
partner and your boss and your co workers and the
people commuting around you, and you know, your thoughts going
all to those other people and places and things that
(22:06):
you have to do. But like, just knowing you have
one to three minutes, which I know sounds small, but
still one to three minutes just about me. There's something
comforting about that to me to know like there is
a sliver of my day that is about.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
Me absolutely, and like I said before, it sets you
up for being present throughout today and knowing that at
any time during the day, guess what you can take
those one to three minutes again?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Ooh nice a little treat.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Yeah, look like a breathing space.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (22:37):
I do it at least five to ten times a day,
do you.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Yeah, my kids can tell when I'm doing like stay
acting up or what have you. Yep, Okay, Papa's breathing again.
You know. But it's necessary because we've bombarded by so
many stressful, especially today, there's so much going on right now. Yes,
please take those one to three minutes multiple times a day,
just to pause and to recall, break and to ground yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
For those that have incorporated one to three minutes into
their day, whether it's multiple times or even just once,
and start in their day right and then they're ready
to graduate to the next step. Do you recommend that
people try just some nice meditative music. Should they try
a guided meditation? What's the next step in you know,
I really want to go deeper into my meditation practice.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Yeah, if you're going to deep in your practice a bit,
I would say. Another concept of mindfulness is humor. Have fun.
Remember to smile and have fun with it. Now. I
do take my practice seriously, right, but at the same time,
I have fun with it, So play around, you know.
If you're want to try a guide of meditation, if
you want to try, like you said, music, if you
(23:45):
want to try mindful movements such as yoga or dance,
experiment and see what works for you. If you want
to take a class, That's how I got started. I
got started taking something called mindfulness based Stress Reduction, which
is an eight week class designed to basically teach you
mindfulness tools for dealing with everyday life, every day stress.
(24:07):
And that's how I got started, and I loved it.
I took it a couple of times actually, and i'm
a certified MBSR teacher today. Eventually I was like, you
know what I want to teach this? Yeah, and so
that's when I got my training. Just play around with
it and see what works for you. If you already
have that consistent once three minutes of practice or consistent
practice period, I think organically you'll find ways to deepen
(24:32):
your practice that resonates with your spirit.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Do you also recommend practicing with other people? Is there
something powerful about doing it as a group versus just
on your own.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
There's something very powerful about the group dynamic. With meditation,
we all resonate or emit, that's you say energy. Yes,
So if you have a group, and this is why
I think retreats are awesome. If you can find a
mindfulness or a meditation retreat that'st affordable that send your vicinity,
I would definitely say to take advantage of that because
(25:05):
they can really be a powerful experience to have. My
very first retreat was part of my training. There was
like one hundred and fifty people in this big hall
or what have you, and just to have that energy
of all of those people meditating at the same time.
It was pretty powerful. Wow. And it definitely elevated my
(25:26):
practice and it fueled me to want to deepen my practice. Yeah,
it definitely gave me that push, even if it's a
community center that holds mindfulness or meditation groups. And also
something I used to do for my writing was meetup.
You know the app meetup? Yes, right, So I would
(25:48):
bet money that there's a meditation meetup group that you
can find.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
That brings me to another question too. I actually had
a former job where they would do like a twenty
minute meditation every Wednesday, Like you could go down to
a room and everyone could sit there and meditate together.
Are there ways that we can make this a bigger
part of mainstream American culture by implementing it into our
lives from work to home, whether it's one to three
(26:16):
minutes before dinner with our family or implementing twenty minutes
at work so that people's emails are less fiery for
the rest of the day. What are ways that we
can sort of start to incorporate this into our worlds
so that everyone is able to experience these benefits.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
I'm very pleased and happy to see that this, And
I call it a lifestyle. It's really a lifestyle un
as you're incorporating. Yeah, I've definitely seen it increase. And
even with my own work through my company, I've worked
with schools, so that was something that they saw the
benefit of. Yeah, and more and more schools are doing that.
I just saw an article that there was a school
(26:52):
in Baltimore. I believe that replaced the tension with meditation
and they found that the behavioral issues have decreased.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Yeah, so things like that. A lot of corporation, a
lot of businesses are incorporating mindfulness into their everyday culture.
I've also gone into many companies and recommended a mindfulness
practice that they can implement in their every day whether
it is just like I said, like a mindful break
during the day or during lunchtime. So I am definitely
(27:24):
seeing it.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
What else are you seeing in your work when it
comes to students or clients that are coming to you
and they want help with meditating. What are some of
the most popular or frequent things that you're hearing from
them that they want.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Help with stress is huge. Okay, yeah, today's stress and depression, anxiety. Yeah,
those are really huge because that's kind of like where
it starts, and those things affect everything. So it affects
sleep patterns, it affects your health, affects your motivation, concentration,
So that would probably be number one. Just stress manner.
(28:01):
And again, the way mindfulness meditation helps with stress management
is I talked about the resiliency, but also it helps
you to make wise decisions. I like to use analogy.
If you think of a snow globe as your thoughts
or as your life even and when you shake up
a snow globe, it happens everything is swirling over right,
(28:24):
So that's kind of like how your mind might be
in any stressful moment. So what mindfulness and meditation allows
you to do is to just pause. So if you
put that snow globe down and you just pause and
you take a moment, what happens to all of that flurry?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Let it settle.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
It settles. It doesn't get rid of it necessarily, but
it settles it. It brings some clarity to your space,
and it's in this clarity that you're able to gain
some wisdom as to what's going on, and then you're
able to move forward making more wise and appropriate decisions
(29:02):
and choices. Yes, oftentimes in stressful moments we just react,
especially with anger. That's something that I dealt with. You know,
I come from the bronx shoulder, so I had to
learn how to regulate my emotions and not just react,
not just pop off right. So you may react violently,
(29:23):
you may grab that bottle, you may grab that pine
of ice cream. With depression, unfortunately, they can escalate from there.
So again, what mindfulness and meditation allows us to do
is just to pause, recalibrate, get that insight, get that clarity,
and then make that wise decision, Make that wise choice.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You've given us so many amazing, useful tips that we
can take moving forward. Is there anything that we didn't
touch on yet when it comes to mindfulness and meditation
that we should be considering or implementing or trying to
do as we establish our practices.
Speaker 5 (30:00):
I would love for everyone in the world to meditate
and just to reiterate, because we kind of touched on it.
Start small, be patient with yourself, be gentle with yourself.
It's not about getting rid of thoughts or getting rid
of the stress. It's actually learning how to be with it.
You're changing your relationship to it. So yeah, be patient
(30:21):
with yourself, remembering the concepts of non judging, don't judge yourself,
being aware of when you are judging yourself harshly and
judging others harshly. We talked about the concept of letting go.
Oftentimes we hold on to these experiences, whether they're good
or bad. A great experience, we won't hold onto it
because it feels good. And oddly enough, even negative experiences
(30:44):
we hold on to those two hence trauma and what
have you. So noticing when you are holding on to
those experiences, because when you're holding onto them, you're not
experiencing what's happening now. So allowing yourself to learn how
to let them go. And then humor. Yeah, remembering to smile. Yes,
there are things that take seriously for sure, but remembering
to take that time also to smile. I'm a big
(31:07):
fan of stand up comedy. You like to watch funny comedy,
dramas or what have you. So you're remembering to laugh
for me to smile. Those are the things that I
would say.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Are important any stand up comedy specials or anything you've
watched recently that's been making you laugh and just take
your mind off of everything else, because when you are laughing,
that is so meditative. You are hanging onto every word
that they're saying. You're right there with them. Is there
anything recently that you can just give us, maybe a
little something to take our mind off of everything else.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Well, for me, the greatest comedian I actuld say, one
of the greatest comedians just hands down, always has me
laughing is the late great Bernie mac Yes, and so
I go on YouTube, I go on Netflix, and I
look at a lot of his old stuff and guarantee
to have me on the floor dying with laughter.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
I actually just wrote my own comedy.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Drama, did you Okay?
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Yeah? And as you can imagine, mindfless and and meditation
is a theme through while. Yes, So maybe next year
we'll be having this conversation. There'll be something different.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Love that when you're promoting this, Yes, we will talk again, exactly.
That's incredible. I'm glad you mentioned writing too, because journaling
can also be very meditative too, So that's absolutely yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
I love that you said that. Yeliah, find those meditative activities. Also,
journaling is huge.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, and when we talked about movement too, I mean,
I'm a big yoga gal, but I'm also a big
walking gal, and I think you work through so many
of your thoughts while you're just walking around the park
walking your dog. However, that is too, so.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
I'm a big walker also. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Okay, good, Yeah, get those steps. Yes, we're doing it. O. Kaisana,
you have been an absolute dream today. Before we let
you go, where can people find you so they can
learn more about you and your practice and all the
wonderful meditation that you are helping the world to do.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
Sure, sure, well. A huge part of what I do
every day is answer questions pertaining to mindfulness and meditation
and just life in general, because it really it's everything.
And my instagram is Kisonga Giscombe at ki Sunga Giscombe
and please feel free to shoot me any question that
you have about mindfulness and meditation and lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Incredible. We will tag that for sure in our show
notes so that people can find you easily there. And
thank you so much for joining us today and for
helping us to become grown ups who meditate. It was
a joy to speak with you, and yeah, we'll talk
to you again when your feature is coming out.
Speaker 5 (33:44):
My pleasure, my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Leah, thank you. What's something you're taking away from the
conversation with Ki Soonga today?
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Wow, I've been thinking about getting into meditation for a
while because I don't feel present a lot. You know,
our jobs are very stressful. We're always worrying about the minutia,
the detail, the schedulings, the meetings. At the end of
the day, I feel so scattered, kind of a lot
like that snow globe he was talking about. Sometimes I'll
be cooking and my mind is elsewhere, and a lot
(34:18):
I will be like, are you listening to me? Did
you hear what I said? You're burning this thing? And
I do just sometimes feel very incredibly not present in
the moment. And I think slowing down and letting the
snow globe particles sort of settle could help me out
a ton. And I think that this almost goes hand
in hand with our phones, right. A lot of what
I kept coming up from me listening was how distracted
(34:39):
we all are, how we're never in the present moment.
We're on TikTok we're looking at the events going on
in this part of the world. We're on the email,
we're thinking about tomorrow, we're thinking about what happened today. Like,
I realize how not present I am, and it's something
that I really want to work on. And so I
got out a lot out of this conversation, and I
hope our audience did. And I'm curious to hear what
you got out of it.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Leah.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I'm glad you mentioned that, and I'm sorry that your
being not present results in burnt dinner. Mine usually just
results in I don't remember if I put on deodorant
or not today. I guess we're gonna find out. So
that's where mine is. But you're absolutely right, Matt, I
do need to be like No, I know for sure.
I stopped. I swiped deodorant on both armpits, and I'm
(35:21):
good to go for the day. And speaking of bodies,
I liked the way he really explained just about the
nervous system and how it really has an impact on
your physical body and what's inside your body and inside
your mind. It's been a long time since I've really
thought about nervous systems and learned more about them. So
having this reminder and refresh in this capacity was very
(35:43):
calming and I enjoyed that information.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
The amount of times I've washed my hair twice in
the shower, Yeah, because I washed my hair and went
did I wash my hair and then proceeded to wash
your second time? Staggering?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
It looks great. So whatever you're doing, wash it three times? Maybe,
I don't know. You can use your shower time to
be your meditation time as well if you want.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
If I place my attention there, that's what I've learned.
As long as my attention on the actual showering, then
it can be Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Well, I'm very excited to hear how you and everyone
listening is going to incorporate these fun facts, this concept
of meditation into their everyday life. And you know what, Matt,
I can't wait to see the results that it has
on you.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
And until next time, good luck being a grownup. This
is a production of Ruby Studio for My Heart Media.
Our executive producers are Lea Paul Mary and Matt Stillo.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
This episode was edited and engineered by Sierra Spreen and
Speaker 3 (36:39):
We want to thank our teammates at Ruby Studio, including
Sarah you, Ethan Fixedel, Rachel Swan, Krasnov, Flydia Kim, Abby Aguilar, Harper, Wayne,
Deborah Garrett, and Andy Kelly
Ruby.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi, I'm Leah Palmery.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
And I'm Matt still though, welcome to grown up stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Today we're going to learn one of life's most important skills,
slowing down.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
That's right, Leah. And are you someone that is good
at slowing down?
Speaker 4 (00:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Not at all, are you?
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (00:27):
No?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
In fact, I am the least present person in the world,
So I think slowing down would be something that I
should learn. And unfortunately I wasn't with you on this
interview to learn it. But I can't wait to listen in.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
We missed you very much, and you are going to
pick up some very important skills when you listen, because
today we are talking about meditating, and I'm so excited.
We're joined by Kaisanga Giscombe, who is a certified mindfulness
and meditation teacher, and he is going to improve our
lives with all of his insight. Truly. Go ahead, take
(00:58):
a deep breath because piece is on the way.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I can't wait for him to teach us about what
meditation really is, what the benefits are, and how you
can become better at it every day.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Spoiler alert, Matt, It's actually very simple.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
You can do it.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I believe in you. You can actually incorporate this into
your everyday life, and you're gonna feel so much better
when you do. Honestly, I don't know a single person
who couldn't use an extra dose of meditation in their life.
So let's learn from Kai Songa Giscombe.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Greetings, Greetings. My name is Ka Songa Giscombe. I am
presently a mindfulness and meditation teacher. I'm a former licensed acupuncturist,
former license psychotherapist, but full time mindfulness and meditation teacher
these days. I'm also a writer. I'm a native New
Yorker currently residing in North Carolina, and meditation really really
(01:54):
saved my life. I'm all about mindfulness and meditation and
being patient with yourself and all about present moment awareness.
And with that being said, I would love to start
out by dropping into a very brief meditation.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Let's do it, and.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
If it's comfortable for everyone, just taking a gentle, deep
breath into your nose and out through your mouth, and
with that exhalation, just allowing your full presence and attention
to gently drop into this moment right here and right now,
(02:28):
allowing your eyes to close, if that's comfortable for you,
noticing your posture, nice, dignified, comfortable posture of awareness, and
now just shifting the attention to your breathing, to your breath,
and just noticing the coming and going of your breath,
each in breath and each outbreath, not forcing anything at all,
(02:53):
breathing naturally, and once again, if it's comfortable for you,
taking a gentle, deep breath into your nose and out
through your mouth, allowing your eyes to open if they
were closed, maybe adding some gentle movement to your space.
(03:14):
And yeah, let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I mean I could have stayed like that all day.
Just to be clear, I do have many questions, but
I'm like, should we just disregard them and just cont well,
thank you so much for bringing us on that journey
to start off. I absolutely needed that today. So I'm
glad that we are now very present and in the
right space to have this conversation. So let's start out
(03:38):
with a very basic question, and we have all hopefully
just experienced it. Hopefully no closing your eyes if you're
driving while listening to this. But on a very basic level,
what is meditation.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Meditation on a very basic level is bringing your full
attention to the present moment, you can do it formally,
you can do it informally, but it's really putting your
attention on something, whether it's your breath, whether it's a mantra,
whether it's an object or a sound, but it's taking
that moment to just pause and bring you full attention
(04:11):
to that object or sound or whatever you choose.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I can't imagine anyone would have just experienced that really
nice moment of meditation and not wanting to do more
of it, because I certainly did. But I think, and
this is a shout out to my co host Matt
and also his mom, who he is trying very much
to get into yoga, I think there can be a
little bit of a stigma around it, like, oh, is
this like too hippie ish and what am I doing?
(04:38):
What can we let people know about meditation, that there
are real health benefits to this. How can we help
people to start to try it out and to start
to experience those benefits just in their everyday life.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Sure? Sure, And I love that you mentioned that there
are many stigmas, because there are, and I think those
stigmas is what makes it more difficult for people to
embrace this idea of meditation and mindfulness. They are different,
but I do use them interchangeably. One of the ways
to dispunge these stigmas is to talk about what meditation
and mindfulness isn't right, So it isn't about perfection, it
(05:14):
isn't about floating and being tranquil at all times. It's
really about bringing your attention to whatever it is that
you're doing in the moment. So, for instance, you and
I are having this conversation right now, right Leah, So
essentially this can be a meditation in of itself because
I'm bringing my full attention to this conversation. Theoretically speaking, right, Yeah,
(05:37):
it takes practice, but even something as simple as brushing
your teeth, getting dressed, conversations, allowing the full attention to
be with that activity that you're doing in the moment.
And it's tough. It's tough because usually our minds are
just going, they're going a mile a minute. Either we're
focused on what's to come or with thinking abouttle ruminating
(06:01):
about the past. And while we're doing that, our present
moment lives are just passing us by.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah. I always forget did I put on deodorant today?
I can never remember, and I do just need to
be present and be like swiped under the left, swiped
under the right, we're good to go.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
Or in the shower, right in the shower. That's something
happens with me. Did I wash my left foot?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yes, exactly, yes, yeah, I'm like, did I wash my face?
I've either done it zero one or now two times,
we don't know, But once I click into the moment,
then it does happen. Before we get into a little
bit more about the practice, what are some of the
physical and mental benefits of incorporating meditation into your life?
Speaker 5 (06:41):
A great question. There's been literally hundreds and hundreds of
research studies done on the benefits of mindfulness and meditation.
Often I serve as the meditation instructor on such studies.
So some of the benefits lower blood pressure, reduce the
occurrence of headaches, decreasing the currens of these chronic diseases
(07:03):
such as diabetes. And then the big one, and this
is something I touched for me personally, is not so
much stress reduction, but I like to say stress resiliency ooh,
because sometimes the source of that stress it's not something
that you can reduce or get rid of, right, it
is present. But what you can do is increase your
resiliency to that stress, Yes, your ability to bounce back
(07:28):
from that stressful experience. So mindfulness and meditation has been
huge as far as increasing your stress resiliency. A big
one also is sleep. Yes, many people deal with sleep irregularities.
So mindfulness and meditation has been proven to improve sleep
patterns tremendously.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Need it, obviously, How does doing meditation work to have
these benefits on your mind and body?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
So we're gonna get a little scientific here. Let's go.
Let's go absolutely. So you have the nervousness, all right,
Then you have the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic
nervous system. So the sympathetic nervous system is that part
of the nervous system that's known as fight or flight.
It's designed inherently in our body to protect us either
(08:15):
getting us ready in the face of danger to either
fight or to run from that danger. So it serves
us well. And so what happens is during this sympathetic
nervous system response, a lot of hormones are secreted in
the body. One of these hormones is a common one,
stress hormone, as cortisol. So cortasol is designed to dump
(08:36):
sugar into the bloodstream. Why do we need sugar in
the bloodstream during fight or flight because we need that
quick burst of energy either to fight or to run.
So what happens when the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated.
Soon after what kicks in is the parasympathetic nervous system. Now,
a parasympathetic nervous system, also known as rest and digest
(08:58):
is designed to bring the sympathetic nervous system back down
so it counters the sympathetic nervous system. Now, what happens
during chronic stress is that sympathetic nervous system is stimulated
and it stays stimulated. You get the surge of these
hormones being secreted in the body and it doesn't shut off. So,
(09:20):
for instance, if cortisol is continuously being secreted in the
body and cortosol is in charge of increasing glucose in
the bloodstream, what kind of disease can result?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Diabetes?
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Diabetes exactly, yep. And so what's wild with stress in particular,
Not only does it continuously stimulate the sympathetic nervous system,
but it actually with chronic stress, it has been proven
to destroy the parasympathetic nervous system. So not only is
your sympathetic nervous system consistently being stimulated, but now the
(09:52):
parasympathetic nervous system it doesn't operate, So you're just in
this chronic state of stress. So that's where a lot
of chronic diseases come from. Blood pressure, diabetes, which can
lead to stroke, heart attacking, what have you. Yeah, Now,
the beautiful thing about mindfulness and meditation. Studies have shown
that not only does mindfulness and meditation stimulate the parasympathetic
(10:14):
nervous system, but it also repairs that part of the
parasympathetic nervous system that has been destroyed. So when I
found that particular piece out, I was blown away. Yeah,
because I know, like, for instance, taking a deep breath
in through the nose and now through the mouth, that
acting of itself stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. That's why
(10:37):
oftentimes when someone is stressed out, what do we say
to them, Chill, chill, take a deep breath. Yeah. Right,
But with meditation, not only does it stimulate the parasympathetic
nervous system, but it also repairs the parts of the
parasympathetic nervous system that has been damaged from chronic stress.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Take that, CORTI is all, we don't need that much
of you today. Great. I love the sciencey part of
it too, but let's talk about just the practical part. Okay,
I'm going to do this. I really want to start
on my meditation practice. What do I do? Do I
just sit there? How do I get started with really
incorporating this into my everyday life?
Speaker 5 (11:14):
So what you want to do is you want to
really start meditating for at least one hour a day?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (11:21):
Absolutely not. So that's what I thought.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I was gonna say, that sounds wonderful. Where does he
think I am finding that one hour?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
But that's what I thought though. When I first discovered
mindfulness of meditation, I thought that's what I had to do.
I thought because I was looking at all the gurus
and I even heard Oh I forgot who it was,
but they were interviewing on Oprah and he's saying he
meditates for one to two hours a day. I was like, shit,
that is.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
The appropriate response to that, by the way.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Yes, I was like, that's what I have to do.
And so I actually tried to do that in the
beginning and obviously that was not sustainable by any means.
And plus I have tight hips, so I was trying
to sit cross leg with not a good look. But
then I realized I don't have to do that. So
if you want to start out with a meditation practice,
(12:13):
something that I recommend to all my clients is to
keep it simple. So a technique that I often recommend is,
all right, let me ask you, leam, when you wake
up in the morning, like literally physically, how does that
look from when you open your eyes?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
It looks a little like Yeah, it depends on the
time of the year too. Usually it's do I see
the light outside? And can I hear the birdies? And
so do I know that it's like a time that
my body is supposed to be awake or is it
still dark and quiet? And I should be rolling over?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
All right? So you roll over and that's perfect. Right
now you're tuning into your present environment, so you listen
for the birds, right, yes, all right, that's awesome. So
for you, I would start there. Okay, if that's something
that you're used to doing, then if you're my client,
I will say to start there as soon as you
open your eyes. If you're used to listen for those
nature sounds. Take a moment, maybe take a gentle, deep
breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, and
(13:05):
with that exhalation, bring your attention maybe to how you're
feeling your body, but then bring your attention to the
nature sounds, because that's what you're used to, right for
someone that's not used to listening for nature sounds. At
some point, you're going to have to sit up and
your feet are gonna have to hit the floor at
some point. So what I recommend is use that as
(13:25):
soon as your feet hit the floor, that's your prompt,
oh right there on the edge of your bed, drop
into a gentle practice. I love this, and it doesn't
have to be thirty minutes, literally one to three minutes.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Just breathing and just centering yourself right and bringing.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Your attention to your breath, bringing your attention to how
you're feeling. Feed flat on the floor. I like to
call it a comfortable and dignified posture of awareness. Sitting
up nice and straight. You can close your eyes if
you want to, but you just woke up so that
I might make you want to go back to sleeep
so you can keep your eyes open, right, and just
maybe looking slightly downward and just drop into the present moment,
(14:03):
bring your attention to what's happening here and now, and
then eventually bring your attention to your breathing and just
for a few breaths, noticing like we did when we
opened up today, the inhalation and the exhalation. You're gonna
notice thoughts, you might hear sounds, that's fine. That is
what we call mild distractions. Noticing the distractions and bringing
the attention back to the breath, always coming back to
(14:25):
that focal point. Now. The idea here, and this is
a huge word that I use frequently, is consistency. Consistency
is key. So doing that every day eventually, and this
is how it worked out for me. And of course
you might miss a day or two, and that's fine.
So being gentle with yourself definitely through the process, and
(14:46):
I can almost guarantee it, you'll find that if you
do it consistently, you may think one day, okay, three minutes,
let me go a little more. Let me see what
five minutes feels like. Let me go a little more,
eight minutes, right, And so it gently increases, and it's
fine if it doesn't, okay, but I think you'll find
with that consistency starting your day like that, it feels
good and it brings you into that present moment awareness.
(15:09):
It trains you and gets you ready to kind of
be in that space for the day.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I love this. This is very easy to incorporate because
usually I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, feet
on the floor, preparing myself for when I stand up
and what part of my body is going to hurt
first in the morning, so you get me. You have
tight hips, so you know that when you stand up,
there's gonna be some creaking.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Yeah, absolutely, or you grab your phone, yeah, scrolling.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Oh well, I'm trying to break that habit. I am trying.
But yes, this is much better of really feeling present
before I'm even all the way out of my bed.
I can work with this for sure. And we all
have one to three minutes then, so that's nice. Yeah,
if not, set your alarm clock for one to three
minutes earlier when you need to get up, and then
we can start to really incorporate this. We'll be right
(15:53):
back after a quick.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Break and we're back with more grown up stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
How do I don't the next question is going to
be a little tougher for you, Which is what am
I working towards when I'm really trying to build this
practice of meditation.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Well, it's not necessarily really working towards anything. There's a
concept of mindfulness called nonstriving. You know. We all have
goals in life.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Right hopefully?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Yeah, I mean, even if it's just to have a
good day.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah yeah, that's a big goal.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so we all set these goals. And
there's nothing wrong with setting goals, nothing wrong with having goals.
But oftentimes what happens is wing we set these goals,
we're hyper focused on the goal, and these goals are
going to happen when in the future. So if we're
so hyper focused on what's to come, we're missing out
(16:54):
on right now, this present moment. I like to use
the analogy of sports. I used to work a lot
with athletes. So in any given sport, what is the
ultimate goal?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Winning championships?
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Yes, that's the ultimate goal, no matter what the sport.
The road to that championship usually starts in the preseason.
Oh yeah, and usually it's a workout. And then after
that workout, let me shift into strategies or plays if
you're dealing with other sports, right, so then you have
to practice those plays. Then the season starts starts with
that first game. So the idea with mindfulness is bringing
(17:31):
your full attention to each moment. Because if I'm in
the preseason workout and all I'm thinking about is that championship,
then how effective is that workout really being if I'm
not fully focused on it. Now doesn't mean that you
have to forget about your goals. In fact, I encourage
my clients every so often look at your goal and
(17:52):
envision yourself getting that goal, use that visualization technique, and
then gently let it go and bring your full attention
back to the present moment. So oftentimes we're in this
autopilot mind state where again we're either thinking about the
future or ruminating about the past, but our present moment
experience is just passing us by, so we're not experiencing
(18:14):
fully life itself. Yeah, so that's what mindfulness, you know,
a meditation, It's really just designed to bring you a
full awareness to right here and right now.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
How do I know that I'm doing it right? Because
having that one to three minutes in the morning is wonderful,
But that is also time when your brain starts to
kick in and you're thinking, Oh, I got to go
buy bananas at the grocery start today, and oh I
didn't write back to that email from yesterday, and oh
I can't believe I still have that laundry. How do
you push those aside to really get into I'm in
(18:45):
this moment right here, and this is where I'm focusing.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
There is it saying there's no right way to meditate.
So during your meditation, I do encourage you to have
a dignified positive awareness, right.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
You don't want to be sleepy? Yeah? I like that
you say dignify too, because that really does make me
feel like the queen that I am. And so that
does help me remember like you know, you are sitting
up straight girl, and you are ready exactly.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
It kind of promotes that idea of awareness. That's what
it's really all about, just that awareness. And so if
during the meditation you're aware, oh wow, my mind is
really going right now, the thoughts are just flooding in.
Guess what that's your experience in that moment, and that's
perfectly okay. Yeah, if you try to control your thoughts,
if you try to control what pops up into your mind.
(19:30):
You gotta drive yourself bananas, right, I mean, I think
we've all experienced where, for no rhyme or reason, some
absurd thought pops up into our head. Yes, we've all
experienced like where did that come from? Yes, so notice
the thoughts, even if it's an ache. As I mentioned,
I have tight hips.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
When I first started, there's a sharp pain that starts
in my hip, and the idea, okay, let me notice
the pain, try to ignore it. That can even exacerbate it.
So okay, let me breathe into it. And then course,
if you need to shift, shift your position and you calibrate.
So it's the same thing in life. If I'm riding
the bus, I remember I grew up in New York
and I was not practicing back then. But if I was,
(20:13):
it took me an hour and a half one way
to get to school. Wow, I have to travel from
the Bronx to Harlem. So you can imagine that commute.
I was fully stimulated and at the same time thinking
about what was to come for school. And so if
you take the morning commute, it's easy for your attention
to just be pinging all over the place and that's
(20:34):
fine if you're driving, all right, let me bring my
attention back to driving. How scary is that? Right?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (20:42):
All right, your mind might drift off again, Okay, let
me bring it back. So that's literally the practice noticing
when your mind is fragmented and bringing it back. Noticing
and bringing it back. You ever watched the Mandalorian? Yes, okay,
so remember in the Mandelorian this is the way. Yes,
So this is the practice noticing and bringing it back,
(21:03):
Rinse and repeat.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
And if baby Yoda's there, then baby Yoda's there.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
So all right, exactly exactly. And being gentle with yourself.
You know, I think there's this thing where you're supposed
to be perfect, and perfection can be so dangerous. It
really can be so dangerous. So there's another concept of
mindfulness called non judging. Us as human beings, we judge
everything everything, We judge everybody, and oftentimes we judge ourselves.
(21:27):
Oh yes, and oftentimes that judgment is negative, self deprecating
and unwarranted. Right exactly, So just noticing, Okay, I'm fully
judging myself right now. All right, let me get myself together, cash,
let's let that go.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Also, I think a nice way of thinking about meditation,
especially when you're just starting out with that one to
three minutes a morning, is that's one to three minutes
for you, just for you, and the whole rest of
the day is going to be about kids and your
partner and your boss and your co workers and the
people commuting around you, and you know, your thoughts going
all to those other people and places and things that
(22:06):
you have to do. But like, just knowing you have
one to three minutes, which I know sounds small, but
still one to three minutes just about me. There's something
comforting about that to me to know like there is
a sliver of my day that is about.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
Me absolutely, and like I said before, it sets you
up for being present throughout today and knowing that at
any time during the day, guess what you can take
those one to three minutes again?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Ooh nice a little treat.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Yeah, look like a breathing space.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (22:37):
I do it at least five to ten times a day,
do you.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Yeah, my kids can tell when I'm doing like stay
acting up or what have you. Yep, Okay, Papa's breathing again.
You know. But it's necessary because we've bombarded by so
many stressful, especially today, there's so much going on right now. Yes,
please take those one to three minutes multiple times a day,
just to pause and to recall, break and to ground yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
For those that have incorporated one to three minutes into
their day, whether it's multiple times or even just once,
and start in their day right and then they're ready
to graduate to the next step. Do you recommend that
people try just some nice meditative music. Should they try
a guided meditation? What's the next step in you know,
I really want to go deeper into my meditation practice.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Yeah, if you're going to deep in your practice a bit,
I would say. Another concept of mindfulness is humor. Have fun.
Remember to smile and have fun with it. Now. I
do take my practice seriously, right, but at the same time,
I have fun with it, So play around, you know.
If you're want to try a guide of meditation, if
you want to try, like you said, music, if you
(23:45):
want to try mindful movements such as yoga or dance,
experiment and see what works for you. If you want
to take a class, That's how I got started. I
got started taking something called mindfulness based Stress Reduction, which
is an eight week class designed to basically teach you
mindfulness tools for dealing with everyday life, every day stress.
(24:07):
And that's how I got started, and I loved it.
I took it a couple of times actually, and i'm
a certified MBSR teacher today. Eventually I was like, you
know what I want to teach this? Yeah, and so
that's when I got my training. Just play around with
it and see what works for you. If you already
have that consistent once three minutes of practice or consistent
practice period, I think organically you'll find ways to deepen
(24:32):
your practice that resonates with your spirit.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Do you also recommend practicing with other people? Is there
something powerful about doing it as a group versus just
on your own.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
There's something very powerful about the group dynamic. With meditation,
we all resonate or emit, that's you say energy. Yes,
So if you have a group, and this is why
I think retreats are awesome. If you can find a
mindfulness or a meditation retreat that'st affordable that send your vicinity,
I would definitely say to take advantage of that because
(25:05):
they can really be a powerful experience to have. My
very first retreat was part of my training. There was
like one hundred and fifty people in this big hall
or what have you, and just to have that energy
of all of those people meditating at the same time.
It was pretty powerful. Wow. And it definitely elevated my
(25:26):
practice and it fueled me to want to deepen my practice. Yeah,
it definitely gave me that push, even if it's a
community center that holds mindfulness or meditation groups. And also
something I used to do for my writing was meetup.
You know the app meetup? Yes, right, So I would
(25:48):
bet money that there's a meditation meetup group that you
can find.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
That brings me to another question too. I actually had
a former job where they would do like a twenty
minute meditation every Wednesday, Like you could go down to
a room and everyone could sit there and meditate together.
Are there ways that we can make this a bigger
part of mainstream American culture by implementing it into our
lives from work to home, whether it's one to three
(26:16):
minutes before dinner with our family or implementing twenty minutes
at work so that people's emails are less fiery for
the rest of the day. What are ways that we
can sort of start to incorporate this into our worlds
so that everyone is able to experience these benefits.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
I'm very pleased and happy to see that this, And
I call it a lifestyle. It's really a lifestyle un
as you're incorporating. Yeah, I've definitely seen it increase. And
even with my own work through my company, I've worked
with schools, so that was something that they saw the
benefit of. Yeah, and more and more schools are doing that.
I just saw an article that there was a school
(26:52):
in Baltimore. I believe that replaced the tension with meditation
and they found that the behavioral issues have decreased.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Yeah, so things like that. A lot of corporation, a
lot of businesses are incorporating mindfulness into their everyday culture.
I've also gone into many companies and recommended a mindfulness
practice that they can implement in their every day whether
it is just like I said, like a mindful break
during the day or during lunchtime. So I am definitely
(27:24):
seeing it.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
What else are you seeing in your work when it
comes to students or clients that are coming to you
and they want help with meditating. What are some of
the most popular or frequent things that you're hearing from
them that they want.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Help with stress is huge. Okay, yeah, today's stress and depression, anxiety. Yeah,
those are really huge because that's kind of like where
it starts, and those things affect everything. So it affects
sleep patterns, it affects your health, affects your motivation, concentration,
So that would probably be number one. Just stress manner.
(28:01):
And again, the way mindfulness meditation helps with stress management
is I talked about the resiliency, but also it helps
you to make wise decisions. I like to use analogy.
If you think of a snow globe as your thoughts
or as your life even and when you shake up
a snow globe, it happens everything is swirling over right,
(28:24):
So that's kind of like how your mind might be
in any stressful moment. So what mindfulness and meditation allows
you to do is to just pause. So if you
put that snow globe down and you just pause and
you take a moment, what happens to all of that flurry?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Let it settle.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
It settles. It doesn't get rid of it necessarily, but
it settles it. It brings some clarity to your space,
and it's in this clarity that you're able to gain
some wisdom as to what's going on, and then you're
able to move forward making more wise and appropriate decisions
(29:02):
and choices. Yes, oftentimes in stressful moments we just react,
especially with anger. That's something that I dealt with. You know,
I come from the bronx shoulder, so I had to
learn how to regulate my emotions and not just react,
not just pop off right. So you may react violently,
(29:23):
you may grab that bottle, you may grab that pine
of ice cream. With depression, unfortunately, they can escalate from there.
So again, what mindfulness and meditation allows us to do
is just to pause, recalibrate, get that insight, get that clarity,
and then make that wise decision, Make that wise choice.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
You've given us so many amazing, useful tips that we
can take moving forward. Is there anything that we didn't
touch on yet when it comes to mindfulness and meditation
that we should be considering or implementing or trying to
do as we establish our practices.
Speaker 5 (30:00):
I would love for everyone in the world to meditate
and just to reiterate, because we kind of touched on it.
Start small, be patient with yourself, be gentle with yourself.
It's not about getting rid of thoughts or getting rid
of the stress. It's actually learning how to be with it.
You're changing your relationship to it. So yeah, be patient
(30:21):
with yourself, remembering the concepts of non judging, don't judge yourself,
being aware of when you are judging yourself harshly and
judging others harshly. We talked about the concept of letting go.
Oftentimes we hold on to these experiences, whether they're good
or bad. A great experience, we won't hold onto it
because it feels good. And oddly enough, even negative experiences
(30:44):
we hold on to those two hence trauma and what
have you. So noticing when you are holding on to
those experiences, because when you're holding onto them, you're not
experiencing what's happening now. So allowing yourself to learn how
to let them go. And then humor. Yeah, remembering to smile. Yes,
there are things that take seriously for sure, but remembering
to take that time also to smile. I'm a big
(31:07):
fan of stand up comedy. You like to watch funny comedy,
dramas or what have you. So you're remembering to laugh
for me to smile. Those are the things that I
would say.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Are important any stand up comedy specials or anything you've
watched recently that's been making you laugh and just take
your mind off of everything else, because when you are laughing,
that is so meditative. You are hanging onto every word
that they're saying. You're right there with them. Is there
anything recently that you can just give us, maybe a
little something to take our mind off of everything else.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Well, for me, the greatest comedian I actuld say, one
of the greatest comedians just hands down, always has me
laughing is the late great Bernie mac Yes, and so
I go on YouTube, I go on Netflix, and I
look at a lot of his old stuff and guarantee
to have me on the floor dying with laughter.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
I actually just wrote my own comedy.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Drama, did you Okay?
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Yeah? And as you can imagine, mindfless and and meditation
is a theme through while. Yes, So maybe next year
we'll be having this conversation. There'll be something different.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Love that when you're promoting this, Yes, we will talk again, exactly.
That's incredible. I'm glad you mentioned writing too, because journaling
can also be very meditative too, So that's absolutely yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:27):
I love that you said that. Yeliah, find those meditative activities. Also,
journaling is huge.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, and when we talked about movement too, I mean,
I'm a big yoga gal, but I'm also a big
walking gal, and I think you work through so many
of your thoughts while you're just walking around the park
walking your dog. However, that is too, so.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
I'm a big walker also. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Okay, good, Yeah, get those steps. Yes, we're doing it. O. Kaisana,
you have been an absolute dream today. Before we let
you go, where can people find you so they can
learn more about you and your practice and all the
wonderful meditation that you are helping the world to do.
Speaker 5 (33:05):
Sure, sure, well. A huge part of what I do
every day is answer questions pertaining to mindfulness and meditation
and just life in general, because it really it's everything.
And my instagram is Kisonga Giscombe at ki Sunga Giscombe
and please feel free to shoot me any question that
you have about mindfulness and meditation and lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Incredible. We will tag that for sure in our show
notes so that people can find you easily there. And
thank you so much for joining us today and for
helping us to become grown ups who meditate. It was
a joy to speak with you, and yeah, we'll talk
to you again when your feature is coming out.
Speaker 5 (33:44):
My pleasure, my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Leah, thank you. What's something you're taking away from the
conversation with Ki Soonga today?
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Wow, I've been thinking about getting into meditation for a
while because I don't feel present a lot. You know,
our jobs are very stressful. We're always worrying about the minutia,
the detail, the schedulings, the meetings. At the end of
the day, I feel so scattered, kind of a lot
like that snow globe he was talking about. Sometimes I'll
be cooking and my mind is elsewhere, and a lot
(34:18):
I will be like, are you listening to me? Did
you hear what I said? You're burning this thing? And
I do just sometimes feel very incredibly not present in
the moment. And I think slowing down and letting the
snow globe particles sort of settle could help me out
a ton. And I think that this almost goes hand
in hand with our phones, right. A lot of what
I kept coming up from me listening was how distracted
(34:39):
we all are, how we're never in the present moment.
We're on TikTok we're looking at the events going on
in this part of the world. We're on the email,
we're thinking about tomorrow, we're thinking about what happened today. Like,
I realize how not present I am, and it's something
that I really want to work on. And so I
got out a lot out of this conversation, and I
hope our audience did. And I'm curious to hear what
you got out of it.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Leah.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I'm glad you mentioned that, and I'm sorry that your
being not present results in burnt dinner. Mine usually just
results in I don't remember if I put on deodorant
or not today. I guess we're gonna find out. So
that's where mine is. But you're absolutely right, Matt, I
do need to be like No, I know for sure.
I stopped. I swiped deodorant on both armpits, and I'm
(35:21):
good to go for the day. And speaking of bodies,
I liked the way he really explained just about the
nervous system and how it really has an impact on
your physical body and what's inside your body and inside
your mind. It's been a long time since I've really
thought about nervous systems and learned more about them. So
having this reminder and refresh in this capacity was very
(35:43):
calming and I enjoyed that information.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
The amount of times I've washed my hair twice in
the shower, Yeah, because I washed my hair and went
did I wash my hair and then proceeded to wash
your second time? Staggering?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
It looks great. So whatever you're doing, wash it three times? Maybe,
I don't know. You can use your shower time to
be your meditation time as well if you want.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
If I place my attention there, that's what I've learned.
As long as my attention on the actual showering, then
it can be Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Well, I'm very excited to hear how you and everyone
listening is going to incorporate these fun facts, this concept
of meditation into their everyday life. And you know what, Matt,
I can't wait to see the results that it has
on you.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
And until next time, good luck being a grownup. This
is a production of Ruby Studio for My Heart Media.
Our executive producers are Lea Paul Mary and Matt Stillo.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
This episode was edited and engineered by Sierra Spreen and
Speaker 3 (36:39):
We want to thank our teammates at Ruby Studio, including
Sarah you, Ethan Fixedel, Rachel Swan, Krasnov, Flydia Kim, Abby Aguilar, Harper, Wayne,
Deborah Garrett, and Andy Kelly
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