No. 81: The Current State of Urban Education - An Educators' Round Table. THE FINALE. - Hand Me My Purse.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
So I was over on Michelle Obama's Internet looking around
and I saw this and it definitely resonates with me.
So I'm gonna go ahead and share it with you
in hopes that whoever needs to hear it. Here's it,

(00:20):
and it is from one of my favorite inspirational accounts,
and that is Michelle Michelle C. Clark, and it says,
your fatigue is real, your overwhelm Israel, your exhaustion is real.
Don't feel guilty about needing breaks from a world that
was never set up to protect your mental health in

(00:43):
the first place. Sit in that.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
I can't see the patters it.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome to hand Me My Purse Podcast.
I am Ami Walker, and I will be your forever
host each and every single time you tune in to
this podcast. So go ahead and get comfortable. Get yourself
a glass of your favorite beverage, whether that's water with
ginger and lemon, a mango glossy which I'm not fond of,

(01:30):
but that's another here or there, or a glass of
mal Beck, which is a red wine that typically is
considered a dry wine. And some variations are a little sweet,
just so you know. Sweeter malbecks contain divine flavors of
rich chocolate, black currant, coffee, and cherries. So if you've
never had mal beck, try it out. It's quite tasty.

(01:52):
I enjoy it either way. Go light yourself a candle,
some incense, or burn some sage and just get ready
to chill out and have yourself a good time. What's
friends and ken? It's me and me, Resident Auntie Supreme

(02:14):
here and hand me my purse. And today I am
sipping on.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Some tea.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
I'm drinking some hibiscus and peppermint tea. It's one of
my favorite tea blends to have. I talk about hibiscus
tea on here a lot. It's great for lowering blood pressure.
It's very beautiful in color. It reminds me of the
color of blood, and not in a creepy way, but
it's just a very rich almost fusia or not magenta,

(02:41):
almost fuchia color and peppermint tea, which is really great
for digestion and it helps with bloating anything that has
to do with your gut. It's really really helpful. And
I'm drinking on that because that's what I like. And
I like to start my day off with a hot
cup of tea because it helps to call me before

(03:01):
I go to work and I have to deal with
about nine hundred and fifty children screaming in a building.
So what are you guys drinking on today? Or while
you listen, what are you sipping on? And again for

(03:23):
today's jam, I chose a song by a group and
the group's name is Ambrosia. Ambrosia is a group from
the seventies. Let me give you a little history about them.
It won't be a lot. It's an American rock band
formed in Los Angeles, California, in nineteen seventy. Ambrosia had

(03:43):
five top forty hit singles released between nineteen seventy five
and nineteen eighty, including the top five hits how Much
I Feel and Biggest Part of Me and top twenty
hits You're the Only Woman in Holding On to Yesterday.
The song that I chose it is called Biggest Part
of Me by Ambrosia, and it's such a pretty song.

(04:08):
I love me some soft American rock like I always have,
and I say this song here all the time. I
attributed to the time that my mother and I spent
listening to music. She had very eclectic musical taste, and
I definitely inherited that from her. It's just a really

(04:31):
pretty song, and today the song kind of reminds me
of my grandmother. So I wanted to share with you guys.
Let's go ahead and listen to it, and then, like
I said, we're gonna go ahead, Like I said last week, we're.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Gonna go ahead and get into the show.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
But I wanted to share this with you as like
an homage to my grandma because it's such a pretty, pretty,
pretty pretty.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Song and.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
They remind me the way they sing and their voices.
Nobody compares to Michael McDonald, So let me just get that.
Let me just be very clear about that. There is
nobody that compares to Michael McDonald to me. But it
is very halling Oats Michael McDonald, Doobie Brothers, Beg's esque,

(05:17):
and I love that music. I think some people call
it like surf rock. Maybe I think it's called that,
but this is considered soft rock per the wikiped So
check the song out. I'm gonna play it for you
right now and tell me what you think. It's a
really pretty song. And I feel like it.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
A sum.

Speaker 5 (05:47):
You're the biggest part of bas public.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Got all right, So I am here for part three

(06:18):
of this conversation, and we are going to start to
close this conversation out with being somewhat solution based and
highlighting some of the positives about being an educator in
a community that is often overlooked, forgotten, and underserved.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
But before we.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Do that, I want to talk about We spoke earlier
about some of the disconnects between educating students in underserved
communities versus what education may look like in suburban areas
or areas where children aren't often forgotten. But I want
to talk about like the intention of educators versus the

(07:02):
impact that we actually have, and the hopes and the
dreams and the aspirations we have for the children that
we are responsible for seven hours a day, five days
a week, versus the reality of what is happening.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Every day.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
And we can talk about the education system as a whole.
You can talk about yourself, you can talk about your team,
We can talk about our school, however you choose to.
I want to start the conversation off with something that
Ebany told me my first year here. Ebane started in
January of twenty fourteen. I started in November of twenty fourteen.

(07:43):
And I remember our old principal, who happens to be
my best friend, put me with the eighth grade team,
the eighth grade kids. She was like, they are bad.
Why don't you get on that team because maybe you
can help them out? And I was like, okay, like cool.
And there was one girl that is still my love

(08:07):
to this day. And her name was Nakaya, and Nakaya
was very I would venture to say, she might have
a little sprinkle of odd right, And so I remember
talking to her and then talking to her mother about
something and having a conversation with her mother.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
And I can't remember.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Exactly what her mother said, but I remember going to
Ebane's office one day and saying, what do we do
when what we are trying to teach them or impart
upon them or guide them toward whatever adjectives or whatever
describing words you want to use. What do we do
when what we're trying to share with them or give

(08:44):
them is in direct opposition of what they are learning
at home? And Yoda says Yoda being Ebony says to
me nothing. And you know, sometimes you always want somebody
to say more. But she said so much in just

(09:07):
saying that one word. And I think that was the
first time I thought about the fact that I am
not a superhero.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
I am not a martyr.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
I am not a magician. Although I do have a
Harry Potter original severist snape magic wand with my name
on it, customized at the Harry Potter Flagship store.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
In New York.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
I am not a magician. I am not a warlock
or a wizard or voodoo queen or priestess. And I
can only you know one thing about Ebney. I'm gonna
give you the best that I got, and you're gonna
take what I give you, and you will leave what
you don't want.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
And that's it. So my hope was, or my hope is,
or my hope used to be.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
That we're gonna teach these kids, and we're gonna help
them out, and they're gonna get out of the hood
and they're gonna soar and they're gonna be presidents of
the United States and they're gonna da da da da.
But the reality is it don't always work that way.
The reality is that sometimes our kids get murdered because
that's the ship that nobody ever fucking prepared me for.

(10:12):
Nobody ever mentioned that to me. I never knew about that.
And the first child that was murdered for me was
actually my god brother. So when I say I'm connected
to this community, I ain't really planned because he went
to the school and that was my first loss of
a child. But the truth of the matter is that

(10:34):
that that there's nothing that we can do.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
So the hope is that they take what you share.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
You know, everybody at this table spends a lot of
time with children. Brian, who is white, built some of
the most amazing relationships with children, probably the most amazing
relationships with children than any other man in this building.
So you know, you I hope that you build relationships

(11:01):
with some of the guys that you work with. Brian,
he also coaches football. But you might get a kid
that decides that they want to sell drugs and then
they get murdered, because that happens, you know, So I
want to talk about or I want you guys.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
To speak to.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Your hopes for the kids or the hopes that you
have versus the reality of the situation. And also you know,
in tention versus impact that could be you, that could
be the school, that could be the government, that could
be the district. Part of me believes that it's a
little bit of bullshit, and I believe that everything is

(11:41):
set up for a reason. And I was having a
conversation with somebody and Brian, you were alluding to this
so much earlier, that you always have to have a
working class, you have to have hals, and you have
to have have nots. And part of me feels like,
is that a part of the route or the history
of American education in America to make sure that the

(12:01):
have nots remain having not or having nothing, so that
they can build, so that they can construct, so that
they can drive, uber so that they can work in
grocery stores, so that they can work in McDonald's, like,
because you have to have not even just a working class,
because I consider us working class, but so that you
can have a lower working class, and so that you

(12:22):
can have a non working class, like you have to
have these things in order for capitalism to function properly.
And unfortunately, I know this sounds bad. I kind of
feel like that is ingrained and embroidered into the quilt
or the fabric of the American education system, and the
impact is that it keeps going right because it's all cyclical,

(12:48):
and sometimes it's I don't know if you guys feel
this way, but sometimes I leave work like what am
I doing?

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Like?

Speaker 1 (12:53):
What am I doing this for? Because nobody's listening, nobody.
I know.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
I feel defeated off times like I do.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's hard. It's hard, like you have these conversations. It's
so funny. Ebany said that she saw my daughter. There
was a young lady who used to go to this school,
and I loved her hard, and I loved her hard
in a different way. I loved her so hard.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
I shared very.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Personal things in Ebane's office about that probably crossed all
kinds of boundaries, but just trying to get her to
understand that, you know, you're not the only person who
has experienced certain things, or as an adult, I deal
with some of these things. And she was very promiscuous,

(13:40):
and I was hoping that in sharing and being vulnerable
bold with her and being open with her and being
a shoulder for her to cry on, that I would
eventually get through to her. But the reality is that
Cis liked to make sex tapes and let boys run her,

(14:01):
what the fuck I'm supposed to do with that? It's
nothing like realistically nothing, So I want to know like
what you guys think about, like your hopes for your
children versus like the reality and what realistically what can
we do?

Speaker 5 (14:19):
So I wanted to jump into something that you just
said referring to the young lady that you poured into
and it really speaks to like how I really feel
and how I serve because I truly believe that even
though you haven't seen the impact in her life, that

(14:40):
doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. Okay, and
down even down when we talk about leaving the school
day and getting in our cars and going home, And
I love what Brian said about it's important for us
to be able to separate. Not only is it important
for our families, but it's also important for our understanding

(15:02):
because when we don't separate, we personalize things, and when
we personalize that, we make it about what we did
and how what we did impacted other people, as opposed
to really saying I was a part of that person's journey.
So they don't they're not. It's not gonna start with you,
but it's also not going to end with you. But

(15:23):
we are set with you.

Speaker 6 (15:25):
Know.

Speaker 5 (15:26):
I truly believe that we are assignments in people's lives.
I believe that people are assignments.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Don't don't get her started up in here, come on, minison.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
I'm not gonna go there.

Speaker 5 (15:36):
But but but what I will say is that twenty
twenty December twenty third, twenty and twenty three, I really
believe that Joy was supposed to cross the path of Dante.
Whatever she said on that day, he may never get
it until five years from now. And that that's the

(16:00):
thing about mental health. I don't always I don't always
get to see what I say. I don't always get
to see the lives that I touch and the ways
that I touch them. But I have to believe that
I was sent to them for a reason. And so
that's one of the reasons why I am able to

(16:21):
do what I do and walk away and not hold it,
because I believe that I'm there for a purpose that
I may never see. And I think if we get
to look at it that way, it's not that we
don't all want immediate benefits, because we do. We want
to believe that what we're doing matters. But who says,
it's not the kids you know who They don't even

(16:44):
know sometimes what love looks like until each one of
you show them, or if I shoma.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
And all of that, you do.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
You know the way the kids, the young boys face
light up when they're you know, interacting with Brian or
any else, you know, anyone else around this table.

Speaker 4 (17:03):
Those are the things that we need to keep in our.

Speaker 5 (17:06):
Minds because maybe they still getting suspended, maybe they're.

Speaker 4 (17:11):
Going not coming to school, you're going home. You know,
maybe they're still cutting people out.

Speaker 5 (17:16):
But for that minute, for those five minutes that they're
in my office, or for those.

Speaker 4 (17:21):
Thirty minutes, I'm gonna say something.

Speaker 5 (17:23):
It may not make a sense to them, it may
not change in that day, but who's to say that
it won't.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
You're right, this is why I love her.

Speaker 7 (17:48):
I'm going to I was thinking, as you were talking
about it, not to get too spiritual. But Donnie mclarkin
has that song after you stand, after you've done, you can't,
you just stand, there's nothing else you can do, and
you you want under if what if what I'm saying
is falling on deaf fears, But it's not. I believe
in manifestation and I believe in pouring positivity into children

(18:09):
even when they're not receptive of it.

Speaker 8 (18:10):
At the moment.

Speaker 7 (18:12):
There are children who have been poured into so negatively
outside of school that they're not accustomed to, you know,
someone being positive and telling them the things that they
are capable of doing. And I've also lived by the
philosophy I can't help you. I'm definitely not gonna hurt
you if I can't help you get over this, this
this moment, or this hunt right now, I'm not gonna

(18:32):
I'm going to try to say anything is going to
hurt you because I don't also don't want to be
that person responsible for dafting someone's spirits. You know, often
tell students you know, you don't want to be You
don't want to blow in your hands. You don't know
what people are going through, you don't know what is
what's going on in their mind. IM saying, you don't
want to be that person that says that one last
thing to them that takes them over the edge. You

(18:53):
want to be that one person that they'll remember that
says something positive to them. And like Evan, he said,
it may not happen right now, it may not happen
when we may not be able to see it. But
I truly envision I envisioned my students years in a
road grown.

Speaker 4 (19:10):
You know.

Speaker 7 (19:10):
That's the faith that I have that I envisioned them
years on the road, being successful, doing having a family, living,
living their dreams. You know, you have to you have
to look at that positive or that that what was it?

Speaker 8 (19:25):
The growth mindset.

Speaker 7 (19:27):
You have to have that growth mindset knowing that that
child is going to be successful one way or the other,
whether they go off to college career, whether it's something
that light bulb finally goes off or something clicks and
they're like, oh yeah, they want to be able to
think back on that that one teacher that you know,
poured into them. I don't want to be that teacher

(19:47):
that they remember in the negative, like you know, that
never had anything nice to say or did not believe
in me. And think about that Biggie Small's song, Yeah
something about their teachers, you know, and how they said.

Speaker 8 (20:01):
You were I wasn't gonna mount to anything.

Speaker 7 (20:02):
And look at me now, because every child's going to
have their own path. Biggie had his own path, jay
Z had his own path, you know.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
And are there teachers that literally say things like that.

Speaker 7 (20:13):
Are very careful and will tell the child that they can't.
You know, they'll you know, just maybe directly indirectly say
something or do something to make them feel like they're
not going to be successful.

Speaker 8 (20:24):
I always tell student, you talk about poetry. I said,
some of you like to rap.

Speaker 4 (20:28):
This might be what's going to help you really become
a great writer.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
You never know, you.

Speaker 8 (20:31):
Might write that one song for that artist.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
And you're gonna boom, you know.

Speaker 7 (20:35):
So I think about those things because not everyone's going
to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, professor. You know, some
people are going to go out here and use their
creative mind to do things.

Speaker 8 (20:45):
But I said that one thing.

Speaker 7 (20:46):
I want all my students to do is to just
change the world, one job, one career at a time.

Speaker 8 (20:51):
I don't care what it is.

Speaker 7 (20:53):
Make sure it makes you happy, and it's legal, but
it makes you happy, that's just time.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
And be good at it.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
Let be couldn't.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
If you like to serve French fries, be real good
at it. Make sure the fries are hot. Find the
great equation for the salt. I don't make them too salty,
too bland.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Whatever it is, you do.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
Just be the best at what you can do, be
the best version of yourself as a French Fried person,
whatever it may be.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
Bran Sure, I want to just kind of build off
of what both Ebanie and she'da said in that young
as a young teacher man, I would get really frustrated.
I was not able to separate. I would get frustrated.
I went to a lot of funerals. I was I
felt like I was like fighting this battle and I
was like pouring myself into one thousand percent every day.

(21:41):
It wasn't until years later feeling almost burnt out and stuff.
But I probably like my tenth twelfth year, I started
to have students come back to see me that I
hadn't seen in ten years, right, And then it was like,
oh you hated me, and they were like, oh I did.
I'm not gonna lie, but I just want you to know,
and like little things like that. And then even this year,
I had a student come in and see me and

(22:03):
I literally had no idea his child. And I felt
so bad because clearly I meant a lot to this
little girl, you know, and she was in her twenties
and I was like, hey, you know, and she was like, Hey,
I just want you to know Audibumba and just goes
off for a few minutes, and I was like, I
didn't know how to let her know. I didn't know
her name. So it's just like thank you, you know.
But back to the intent piece, I really feel like

(22:28):
I've learned over the years. Our job, in my eyes,
is to provide an opportunity. Whether or not students take
advantage of that opportunity we can't control. We can provide
the opportunity for every kid, whether or not they choose
at this moment to take it. Maybe, you know, they
just need to know that it's real and it might
take a few more times for people to show them

(22:49):
that opportunity for them to take advantage of it. But
we can't force kids to take advantage of the opportunities.

Speaker 6 (22:56):
Going back to what Brian said, I feel like opportunity
exposure is the difference between what kids and underserved communities
have and what kids in these served communities have. I
think it's opportunity and exposure. And my hope for my
students is that everything I do provides an opportunity or

(23:20):
exposes them to something or a viewpoint or a perspective
or a lens that they haven't been able to look
through before. I hope that the love I share exposes
them to what honest, good love looks like. I hope
that the words I say, which I know, you know,

(23:43):
those of you sitting in my room know that when
I shut that door. I am very honest with my
kids about everything age appropriate, honest, but I don't mix words.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
I don't sugarcoat things.

Speaker 6 (23:55):
I tell them the way the world is because I
need them to be prepared for it when they get there.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
I hope that the.

Speaker 6 (24:00):
Love that I show, the words that I say, the
compassion I give, I hope that extends. And I think
about a student that we discuss who in my room.
I don't treat him as other, and he gets treated
as other in so many different places in this world,

(24:23):
but when he comes in my room, he is just
another one of those students. His reading level doesn't matter,
his math level doesn't matter, and I scoot in so
much math and reading into art that they don't even
know what hit him. Like sometimes I refer back to
something mathematically and they understand it and be like, yeah,
we learned that when we were studying Picasso They're like,
what my blown, she was.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Really teaching us math.

Speaker 6 (24:45):
But I feel like that's why some kids who aren't
successful in any place else are successful in my room.
And my hope is that they take that win from
my room and they can apply it every place else.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (25:00):
Also, going back to what Brian said, what keeps me
filled with hope.

Speaker 4 (25:07):
Is the visits.

Speaker 6 (25:08):
It's the being in Costco and running into a kid
that you taught fifteen years ago. Like what, yeah, you know,
Like I had a student reach out to me on
Facebook who, unbeknounced to any of us that taught her,
was being sexually abused the whole time we taught her,

(25:30):
and none of us had a clue. I mean, nobody
had a clue. But she said your classroom was my
safe space.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 6 (25:41):
I am alive today because I knew that. Oh every
day when I got to school, I could go in
that art room. After school, I could stay in that
art room because I held a club after school. Staying
in my club kept her from going home, and it
was a couple extra hours of safety. That makes me realize,

(26:01):
despite what the district does, Oh, what about the.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Welcome to hand me my purse everybody.

Speaker 4 (26:11):
Despite all of it, I'm here for a purpose.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
It's my assignment.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
It's my assignment.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Come on, assignment. This is what Evan he does to you.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
I'm telling you she does it, Heather, Okay.

Speaker 9 (26:29):
I'm just going to echo what everyone that has shared
is that we as educators, we want the best for
our students. Our students become our children, and when growing up,
our parents always tried to tell us right from wrong.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
They tried.

Speaker 9 (26:47):
They laid the foundation for us and say, if you
follow this path, this is going to lead you to success.
We didn't always follow that path. We didn't follow it,
follow it when they laid it for us, but we did,
Like you said, eventually we realized what was happening.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
Eventually we were like.

Speaker 9 (27:02):
Oh, that's why they said that, or that's why they
gave me that advice, or that's why they were so
hard on me. I'm hard for a reason because I
know that later, Raymond out right now you don't see it,
but you will see it later. And I love when
kids come back to me randomly, Hey do you remember
me when I was in your class in fourth grade?
And I'm like, oh, yeah, kind of, But they're like

(27:25):
you never gave up on me. You were hard on me,
you were in my butt every day, but you never
gave up on me. And that is what I feel
is a success for me. That's what I enjoy seeing.
I enjoy hearing like, oh yeah, it's Bob.

Speaker 4 (27:40):
Don't she gonna give you that look?

Speaker 9 (27:41):
But she won't give you a hug at the end
of the day, you know, it's that those things make
me feel successful. And if I can reach one student,
two students, I don't need to reach everybody every year.
But at the end of the year, if there are
students who walk out and are successful, I feel like
I accomplish something.

Speaker 8 (27:59):
The fact we haven't allowed I think of it all
of us at this table.

Speaker 7 (28:04):
We have not allowed a test, a score, a number
define our purpose that has brought us, brought us to
where we are in our careers. We have not allowed
any of those things to hinder us from pouring into
our students academically, socially, emotionally, whatever we need to do

(28:28):
for those students, Because at the end of the day,
you are more than just a test score.

Speaker 8 (28:32):
You are more than an essat score. You are more than.

Speaker 7 (28:37):
The levels or you know where we're going to be
the ayp whatever you want to call it.

Speaker 8 (28:42):
You're more than that. You are a human being.

Speaker 7 (28:46):
You are someone who is going to be successful in
your own way. And it is our job just to
nurture We talk about that, that nurturing spirit that some
of us have. Our job is to nurture you and
to help you get to become or to become potentially
who you want to be or what you were destined
to be.

Speaker 10 (29:06):
MIA So I think with everyone, but it sounds like
everyone is speaking about it is tough love, and I
think that I think it's necessary. I think that the
world is going to give them far worse than what
they receive in school, so I think it's okay to
be honest with them. When Joy goes in her classroom

(29:29):
and closes the door and give it to give it,
gives it to them straight, I think it's I think
it's necessary. I think that they appreciated, and I think
that's shown by you know what you all said when
the students come back to visit ten years later and
tell you, you know, you were hard on me, but

(29:50):
they appreciate that tough love. Because I think kids need rules.
I think they need.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Models.

Speaker 10 (29:59):
They don't always get that out in the community, and
so when they come to school they need as much
of that as they can get. I don't always get
as many opportunities to interact with the students as you
all do, but when I do, because I'm often brought
the students who are acting up and having behavior issues,
and I try to give them that same tough love.

(30:21):
And the students that often are brought to me are
students with learning disabilities, with you.

Speaker 8 (30:29):
Know, mental health issues.

Speaker 10 (30:31):
But I talk to them and I treat them the
same way I would talk to any other child in
the building. I let them know that what they're doing
is not right, that you know, we expect better of them,
don't you know? Act like because you have a disability
that that gives you a pass to come to school
and act the full you know, you come and hear

(30:52):
this education is free, and while it's still free, you
get as much as you can get from it because
it's something about what you get in this building is
going to be helpful for you in life. It may
not be you know, a square plus B squared that
might not help you in life, but there's something that
you're going to get in this building that's going to
help you in life. So I always try to encourage

(31:14):
them with that.

Speaker 5 (31:17):
And I've just thought about something just listening to each
of us speak, you know, on the different levels and
in the different lenses. And one of the things that
I thought about is the kids don't necessarily need tough
love or soft love or nurturing.

Speaker 8 (31:33):
They need us, like each of.

Speaker 5 (31:36):
Us bring something to the table that I believe is
innate in us. And whoever that is, whether you're tough,
whether you're not, with whatever it is, they need us
in our authenticity. It's kind of like, you know, you
want to act a certain way.

Speaker 4 (31:54):
With a getting No.

Speaker 5 (31:55):
They need joy, they need Heather, they need Ebany, they
need Sheeta, they need who we were created to be
in order to help them to grow.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I think when I think about hopes, and I know
I'm gonna cry, so somebody can just give me a
knackin on the front end. I think when I think
about the children of this community, I like I said,
I have a different perspective because I literally am the
children of this community. And when I think about and

(32:27):
not just at our school, but when I think about
the children of Baltimore City or the children.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Of Detroit or Philly or.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Brooklyn, anywhere where it's a community where children are often overlooked,
and whether they are black, brown, white, yellow, whatever it is,
because the truth of the matter is that being poor
will hold you back. There are some things, of course,
that come to play that may help you out that

(32:58):
you don't have any control over. But but when I
think about children that live in poverty, I wish that
they could be free. It really bothers me that. And
I told the line with this, like I get why
kids have to wear uniforms in schools because sometimes the
parents want it, because it's expensive kitting out outfits for

(33:23):
kids and shoes and all of those things. But when
I think about I mentioned this earlier, when I think
about my goddaughter who goes to school in Howard County
and she's in the eighth grade, and she can wear
cute little outfits and crocs and hoodies, And I think
about kids in Baltimore City or in certain school districts

(33:44):
where there's a very strict, instringent uniform policy where it
makes sense to us students shouldn't be able to wear
hoodies because it's a safety violation, because if somebody wanted
to attack you. They could grab you by your hood,
snatch you down, and then they could beat the shit
out of you. But it saddens me that they even

(34:04):
gotta you know, we even gotta think like that for them,
you know what I mean? Like I went to high
school in California.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
What you should see what they were at school.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
They were hoodies, they were shorts, there were socks, and
they were flip flops on a rainy day. I just
wish that poor children or children that live in poverty
stricken environments, I wish they were allowed the same freedom
that children that don't have to worry about whether they're
gonna eat or not tonight, whether they are and this

(34:37):
has nothing to do with socioeconomic status, but whether they
are going to be molested by their father today or
their brother, whether they are gonna have to go sell
drugs because their mom works and their father's in jail,
and their mother's not making enough money because it's five
of them and more money needs to come out, so
I want to help my mom pay bills. I wish

(34:57):
that those children were able to be free, because I
definitely believe that if they experienced what they don't even
know what it looks like. But if they felt it,
I think that how they showed up in the world
would be very different.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah, I don't. I think that they wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Well, of course they wouldn't be as angry, but I
just think that they would show up in a different way,
and they would show up for themselves in a different way,
and that that makes me a little bit sad. What
do you guys think to shift and to close out
our conversation, what are some things that are good?

Speaker 2 (35:37):
What are some things that are happening that are good?
What are some things that.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
The education system and let's just talk which you know,
we can only really speak on our district because that's
where we were currently.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
What are some things that are being done right.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
Cricky, So I can say that I think that we're

(36:16):
starting to recognize that education the way we've been doing
it for a long time is built around manufacturing jobs.
Sitting rods do what everybody else can do as quickly
as possible, be able to do discrete tests really fast,
you know, manufacturing.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
We get it.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
I think that there's going to be a shift in
which we understand where those jobs aren't president anymore. So
we have to start to create an educational system that
goes towards jobs that will be here when the kids graduate.
Now it's a slow shift, but I mean even like
you know, working in groups and stations and stuff like that,

(36:57):
that wasn't something that we really grew up on. We
didn't really do it ton of group work or anything.
So thinking about the future and what that means, I
think there's a recognition. I just don't I just don't
think anybody knows where to go with it yet. So
it's at least the recognition is positive.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Well, that's the first step.

Speaker 8 (37:17):
I think that reaching reaching our student's heart.

Speaker 7 (37:23):
I think that we're going in the right direction as
far as educators and I know we can't share but
so much of our personal information with our students, but
being in a vulnerable and transparent place with our students,
they're beginning to see that I will be able to
overcome whatever I'm going through right now, because MEMI can

(37:48):
do it, because Joy can do it, because Heather can
do it. You know, I am able to overcome.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
I can.

Speaker 7 (37:55):
I can see myself on the other side of this,
and so I think that we're in a direction with that,
with the social, emotional learning piece that we are beginning
to incorporate into our schools because that is going to be,
I think, the key to success, because without it, we
can teach all the literacy and all the computation and

(38:17):
all of those things. Without it, our students are not
going to be successful. They need to be able to
navigate and be able to handle life's turmoils and life
stresses and things of that nature. And when they can
see it in real person, or and they can see
the realities through their teachers that my teacher's not perfect,

(38:39):
or my teacher sees the therapist once a week for something.
You may not disclose what it is, but my teacher
has to see a therapist or something, you know. So
the fact that they're seeing a therapist, they're functioning, they're successful,
they still have the life crazy, They're not crazy, they're
not doing crazy things, they're not saying crazy things.

Speaker 8 (38:59):
They are still encourage me.

Speaker 7 (39:00):
I know that I, too, one day, will be able
to overcome whatever it is I'm going through right now.

Speaker 5 (39:06):
I believe that what we are doing well is we
do have passionate and committed professionals, educators and mental health
professionals and those in our schools that have a desire
and a tolerance for this population or for this environment.
It's not always easy, but I do believe that we

(39:28):
have a good amount of professionals who enjoy or who
are invested in what they do. I also think that
they are getting around to increasing the amount of resources
as it relates to I can speak from my area
mental health, but then there are other areas where they're

(39:49):
starting to say, Okay, we need more people in this
and this. Now the challenge with that is the people
are not there, but they are recognizing that more resources
needs to be placed pla with those things.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Okay, so acknowledging they're starting to acknowledge that, Okay, something
we're doing is not working and we may need to shift.

Speaker 10 (40:08):
Okay, yeah, I agree with that, Abney, And I was
I was thinking about the whole push for community schools
and having community school staff in every school, and having
those community school staff network with the community and resources
in the community and share those resources with you know,
with the families, like the food pantries and you know,

(40:31):
any other access to resources that we can provide. Because
I mean, whether we want to admit it or not,
our role is not just to educate the children, you know, academically,
you know, we have to support them in so many
other ways. So I think it's helpful to have other
staff in the building who are not focused on the
academic piece that can invest more, invest in more time

(40:54):
and energy into making those connections with the community and
connecting with those recents.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
I think if we think about it historically, and I
know I can speak for like black community, the Black
community when schools were not where schools are still segregated,
it was your school, and it was the church, and
then it was your community, and that was essentially essentially
all you had. And I think for any like pushed

(41:22):
out or oppressed or like off outsider esque type community,
like you have your schoolhouse and then you've got your
church house and that is the foundation of your community. Somehow,
some way, we have kind of moved away from that.
But I think a lot of that has to do
with like the whole governmental push, the desire to make

(41:46):
sure that test and standardized testing scores are met. That
is a lot of pressure on a school staff. And
it's not just the teachers just the teachers, is everybody
is the so workers is the support staff, it's the secretary,
it's the lunch lady is the janitor, because it's a
certain type of energy that's in the building. And I

(42:09):
think that you're right, Mia, and that if you have
those people that are there just to target the community,
that is how you build the relationships with the community.
And I think that here we've done a really good
job at that ever since we came into this building
with building a relationship with the community. I remember when
we first moved into this building, it was summertime.

Speaker 2 (42:31):
Remember a guy had just got out of jail.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
And somebody was chasing him or looking for him, and
he ran in the school.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
You remember that summer.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
We were like, and of course, our crazy principle at
the time was like, you got to get out of here, sir,
you got to get out of here. You cannot stay
in there. And he was like, but they're looking for me.
And she was like, I'm sorry, but you can't stay
in here.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
This is a school.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
But I think over time, we used to do remember
we used to do else walks during the summer.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
We used to do community walks.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
It would be so hot, but it would be like
forty of us just walking through a neighborhood in West Baltimore,
speaking to the people who live in the community, talking
to the drug dealers, talking to the little kids. You know,
the football or football team would where their uniform, the
cheerleaders would where their uniform, and we would just walk
through the community and build relationships. And I think that

(43:25):
that is the only way to cultivate relationships with the
community and the schools so that parents aren't so because
it's almost like they are not they but it's almost
like we are working against each other and they are
not the enemy and we are not the enemy. And
I think that that's where the disconnect is is that

(43:47):
we are not forming we and I mean nationwide, are
not forming strong enough relationships in schools with communities. Because
then if the parents in the schoolhouse work together, then
they would go to Annapolis or go to the state
capitol and have something to say to delegates and lawmakers

(44:07):
and people who make policy. They would make the news,
especially now since you have the Internet. People would have
things to say and it would catch attention. But I
just feel like we are working against each other when
we really should be working together. So I do think
it's a good thing that we do have those people
in the building that can build relationships with people in
the community. I think those walks were like a physical

(44:29):
test of strengths.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Well, they were a.

Speaker 6 (44:31):
Physical test of strength from my tail walking up and
down town hills in that heat. But I also feel
like there's certain things you see and you understand, or
you hear and you understand, or you touch it and
you understand. And those walks were a visual representation of
what we wanted our school to be.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Absolutely, we wanted our school to be a community school.

Speaker 6 (44:51):
So we went into the community and we took the
kids with us, and we saw parents, and we saw
neighbors and aunties and grandmas. But what we allowed them
to see is us. So when you see me again, oh,
she working over that to school. Oh, these are three
kids who go to the school. So it started to
connect our community visually verbally. It told a story of
who we wanted to be. And I forgot what the

(45:13):
other thing I was going to say, because that just
what you said really hit. I was thinking about them
long hot community walks.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Well that those things were real.

Speaker 6 (45:22):
They were real, They were real, but I mean and
in the moment, I was just like, I'm really trying
to set up my classroom right now, I know they do.
But then when we got back in the building, it
made me feel good. It made It also allowed teachers
who were unfamiliar with the community to see where their
students lived also who were in the neighborhood.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
Yes, and I would.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
Always encourage new teachers who are not from the area. Oh,
come on, let's go on the community walk. Cause one,
like you said, you need to see where these children live.
You need to see what they have to walk past
to get to school, You need to see what their
houses look like. But in addition to that, you need
to understand that, like the people in the community need
to know that we're not afraid of them, and they

(46:04):
also need to know that they don't need to be
afraid of us, and.

Speaker 6 (46:07):
That we want to include them here because we want
you to be included in the work that we're doing.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Absolutely, you want to close us out. Well, it's you boo,
all right.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
I think you've said this a couple of times.

Speaker 9 (46:21):
Mimi about acknowledgment, and Brian talked about it, and Ebany
talked about it, and Sita talked about it, and Mia
talked about it. We all talked about that in order
for change to happen, it has to be acknowledged.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
It's a three point process here, triple a acknowledge, accept action.

Speaker 9 (46:42):
Yes, I need And I think the key right now
is that eyes are starting to open up and things
are starting to be seeing it. The way we've been
doing things is not working, and we need to make
some changes as a community, as a district, as a
nation when it comes to education, and it starts with
recognizing what needs to be done.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
And I think, and I'm all.

Speaker 9 (47:06):
On the social emotional because especially in our community that
we serve, that is the forefront. The kids can't absorb
anything academically if they're dealing with so many other things
and their heads are full with whether or not, like
you mentioned, where they're going to sleep or eat, the

(47:27):
trauma that is happening at home or that they have experienced.
And there's such early years of life that I can't
even fathom the trauma that these kids are going through.
But we have to acknowledge that first before we can
even get to the basic of academics.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
So I would just want to say thank you to
all of you for being here for devoting time. We've
been here for a long time. I appreciate you. I
love all of you. I am grateful for all of you,
and I just want to say thank you. And I'm
not going to cry now because I've cried enough and

(48:05):
I'm tired of real geez, don't cry, our eyes just sweat.
I just want to say thank you. Thank you for
the hard work that you do here. And I really
appreciate this because you could have been anywhere. This is
Christmas break, we're on winter break, but y'all brought y'all
little cells in here to help me out. I really
appreciate this and thank you. That's it. That's all I got. Okay,

(48:31):
I love you too, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
So.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Friends that came for today, straight back question, like, I
ain't giving a whole lot of pre nothing, and I'm
just gonna get right into this because this one is
something else.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
My boyfriend recently discovered that I spent a few years
as a private dancer. He found pictures of me and
the other dancers and my night stand drawer. Now that
he's fully aware of my past, he wants me to
dance for him and wear sexy clothes around the house.
But that part of my life is behind me, and

(49:26):
his request makes me uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (49:29):
Yesterday's price, it's not two days price.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
How can I get through to him that that is
no longer me?

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Respect on my name?

Speaker 1 (49:38):
So check this out and this is from sexy whoever
sent this in? I love that this was your name,
Sexy Red from New Haven, Connecticut. All right, so Sexy Red,
let's just get into this all right. First of all,

(50:00):
why were you so careless as to leave these pictures
in your night stand drawer? The better question is why
was he looking in your night stand drawer unless y'all
live together in his closer in that drawer as well.
That's my question, Like, don't invade my privacy. But let's

(50:21):
just get to the meat of it, which is, girl,
what you gonna do? I want to know how you're
gonna get through this personally? You know what I'm gonna say.
There's nothing wrong with having enough conversation. And it sounds
like you already have and that you have told him
that that part of your life is behind you. Oh no,

(50:44):
you haven't told him that. I think you just tell
him that, like I don't feel comfortable doing that. We
also need to remember that men sometimes throw temper tantrums,
and so he may be mad about you not wanting
to share that part of yourself with him. I think
one thing to remember is that he is your boyfriend.

(51:04):
And I'm not saying you should do anything you don't
want to do, but you might want to think about
like the scope of your relationship and like, would it
be a really horrible thing for you to do this
for him and let him know that, like I'm going
to do this this one time.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Excuse me, guys, I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
Do this this one time, but I'm not We're not
about to make a thing out of this, Okay, So
you could do that if you feel like you don't
want to acquiesce. Remember that relationships are about compromise. So
I think it's about I can't really tell you what
to do because I would never tell somebody what to

(51:45):
do with their body or you know. I think you
just talked to him about why you don't want to
do it, you know, and even if it's no longer you,
you guys are in a relationship, and I would talk
to him about how can we compromise this because this

(52:05):
is something that you know, he finds attractive or alluring, alluring,
excuse me, and he wants you to do this for him. Personally,
I would probably do it, but I would let him know, like,
don't be asking me to do this shit all the time,
because I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do it
this one time, and we're gonna call it quits. But

(52:27):
if you are standing on business, as the kids say,
or whoever said it, I don't know who said it.
If you are standing on business and you know all
your tin tools are in the sand with this, then
don't do it. Do not do anything that you don't
want to do. And if it's going to make you
uncomfortable to do it, and don't do it. That's it.

(52:50):
But we know he's probably gonna throw a temper tantrum
because unfortunately, sorry brothers, but dudes be throwing temper tantrums
about not getting their way. But I think it's just
about having a conversation about if he is a level headed, logical, understanding,
mature adult male human being, then he'll understand why you

(53:12):
don't want to do it. I think that this might
be a test for your relationship and the communication, the
strength of communication in your relationship when you explain to
him what your reasons are. So just understand and think
about before and early on what your reasoning is for
not doing it, because you gave me a little bit

(53:34):
of you know, like basically that part of my life
is behind me and the request makes me uncomfortable. I
don't really know why the request.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
Makes you uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Because he's a dude, Like dudes want to see their
girlfriends wear sexy stuff and they do freaky dances for them.
Like that's not that's not abnormal or unheard of. But
I think before you have a conversation with him, you
need to really do some reflecting and think about why
it makes you so uncomfortable. And once you get that down,

(54:06):
you know, once you really figure that out, I think
it's okay for you to go to him and say
this is why I don't want to do it. It makes
me feel like this, I don't want to do this
because this part of my life is over, and then
just finish it. Because if he is your boyfriend, it's
very interesting that she said his request makes you uncomfortable.

(54:27):
I don't really understand that part. If he just wants
you to dance for him and wear sexy clothes. Yeah,
So if I were you, I would really do some
reflecting and thinking about, like why it makes you so
uncomfortable that he wants you to do this for him
Because you guys are in a relationship, so sexy read

(54:49):
good luck to you with this, because this is something else.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Good lucks this.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
I hope that your relationship remains strong, that you can
work this out with your boyfriend, because this one is
a little tricky.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Friends Again, for today's we got to Do Better segment,
I pulled a quote from a book called Don't Cry
for Me by author Daniel Black, and it says children
don't carry the weight of history, so their capacity for
heavy things might be greater. But few adults believe this,

(55:35):
so we pass along only what we think they can bear.
Children wonder later why we didn't tell them everything so
they could avoid our mistakes. One more time, children don't
carry the weight of history, so their capacity for heavy
things might be greater, but few adults believe this. I

(56:00):
know I don't believe it, but few adults believe this,
so we pass along only what we think they can bear.
Children wonder later why we didn't tell them everything so
they could avoid our mistakes. This is an interesting quote
and I have. I don't know if I agree with
all of it, but I feel like some people do

(56:24):
share things with their children, and I think that or
with children, but as human beings, you know, old people
say things like you don't believe that shit stink, or
you don't believe that fire is hot. You know, it's
like you tell kids, or you tell a toddler don't
touch hot, don't touch hot. That toddler looks at you like, man,

(56:48):
fuck you. I'm touching this. They touch it, they burn
their hair, and then they learn I shouldn't touch this
because it's hot. I think human behavior is the same way.
Children are curious, they're inquisitive, they want to know, they
want to learn, and they don't believe shits think till
their neck deep in it. I work with middle school

(57:09):
and high school students and I tell them things all
the time. I try to impart wisdom on them. All
the adults in the building try to share and impart
wisdom on them, and oftentimes they don't listen because a
lot of times, particularly this generation, the children believe that
they are invincible, and they believe that nothing is ever

(57:34):
going to happen to them, and that they have the
answers for everything, and they can figure everything out because
they're smarter than adults. And if this happened to you
when you did it, it's because you're not smart enough
to figure it out like I am. And I think
that we pass along what we think they can bear

(57:57):
because we know that we know they're comparatis. But this
is an interesting quote and I just wanted to share it,
particularly because of the topic that we're talking about today
and to close out the series on urban Education, which
was a great series. I'm glad that I did it,
and I want to do more more series where people

(58:24):
are sharing stories that don't really get told. So stay
tuned for more because there will be more, and particularly
more about education because I know people have kids, y'all
be having kids, boy, and I feel like people need
to know what's going on in the education system.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
So that was from Daniel Black.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
Don't cry for me, and yeah, the first thing that
I want to do is say thank you to God,
because God is supreme and I recognize and appreciate the
grace that God extends to me every single day of
my black ass life. I want to say thank you

(59:05):
to you, my people, my folk, my can folk. I
want to say thank you to each and every one
of you that have been rolling with me since March
the first of twenty twenty. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I truly appreciate you for being here. And even if
you just started listening today, I thank you for that

(59:25):
as well. Either way, I'm grateful. Either way, I'm thankful.
Either way, I appreciate your support. I'm thankful for my family,
my friends, my friends and ken, all of my supporters,
and of course, most importantly, you guys that are out
there listening. I love you guys so much, and it's
nothing short of an honor, a privilege, and a blessing
to share my time and energy with you, especially if

(59:47):
you keep coming back to spend time with me. I
look forward to the next time that we get to
do this with one another. Now, before you exit out
of whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this,
stop what you're doing, and if you haven't already done so,
look for this subscribe or follow button. Click on that
if it's an option on the streaming service where you're listening,
and then I want you to go over to Instagram

(01:00:08):
and follow me at Handy my Purse Underscore podcast. Again,
that is at hand Me My Purse Underscore Podcast. Also,
you can follow me over on Twitter and that is
at HMMP Underscore podcast and on Facebook just search for

(01:00:30):
Handing My Purse podcast. If you listen on a streaming
service or medium that allows you to do so, please
rate and review the show or give it a thumbs
up if you can. It takes all of two to
three minutes, says leave a review. It doesn't have to
be a dissertation, doesn't have to be a letter to
your local senator. It could just be I really love

(01:00:52):
this show, Mimi's awesome. I would of course love a
little more detail than that, but that's all you got.
That's all you got. I appreciate it either way. I
appreciate the grand gesture.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Also, friends and can be sure to share hand Me
my Purse with your friends, your loved ones, and even
your enemies. Because the best way for people to find
out about Handing My Purse is by you guys telling
them all about it. So tell a friend to tell
a friend to tell a friend. Please submit your questions

(01:01:25):
for the straight facts segment by clicking on the link
in my show notes that says submit a question for
straight facts. It's located right under the link for the jam. Also,
you can click the link in my Instagram profile and
look for the button that directs you to submit a question.
Who knows your question might be featured on an upcoming show. Also,

(01:01:48):
remember that show notes are always available in the episode description.
Wherever you're listening to the show, be sure to take
a look at the show notes because that, my friends,
is where I put all of the links and other
information that I mentioned during the show that you may
want to check out, in addition to some other stuff
that I want to share with you that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
I might think that you'll find helpful.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Also, just so you know, the music for Handing My
Purse is provided by none other than West Baltimore's own
Gloomy Tunes. Oh my god, I think that's the first
time that I use the Jamaican airhorn in this episode.
How dare me so rude? Last, but not least, I

(01:02:31):
want to give a big old shout out to my producers.
Together we make up Rando Banjo.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
And the do the Roots.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
I look forward to you looking forward to listening to
Handing my Purse the podcast Each and every single Tuesday
and I'm out this bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
Peace.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
Hand Me my Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
For more shows from iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}No. 81: The Current State of Urban Education - An Educators' Round Table. THE FINALE.