March 5, 2024 • 69 mins
Hey Friends & Kin!
FYI: THIS, JUST LIKE ALL EPISODES OF HAND ME MY PURSE, CONTAINS PROFANITY. THIS PODCAST IS FOR ADULTS AND CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT. Now that we've gotten that out of the way...
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Friends and Kin this episode is around a topic that is a recurring theme here on HAND ME MY PURSE. AND THAT’S GRATITUDE!!! Gratitude is the key to the streets. There are so many conversations that I have had about it & I know for a fact, this won’t be the last conversation had on this podcast where I will talk about GRATITUDE. It’s at the very nucleus of so many aspects of our lives!
I enjoyed having this conversation - with myself, and well with you! I went into some thoughts about how grief, stress and just EVERYDAY LIFE has led me to a space where I am a bit off kilter. It’s time for a full on reset. I have named my grief and given it a song! It was nice to change the narrative and shift it a little bit - so that I am not focused on the negative aspects of grief. It is a great conversation about how to switch from grumpy to GRATEFUL. ALSO, IT’S TIME FOR A GRATITUDE CHALLENGE!!!
We will start on March 12th & go until April 21st! I CANNOT WAIT!!! Please please join me! It’s a great time for a reset.
"GO WHERE YOU ARE ADORED. NOT WHERE YOU ARE TOLERATED..."
- MeMe's Jam No. 84 🎶
- SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR “STRAIGHT FACTS”!🤔
- WILDFLOWER by NEWBIRTH.💐
- DAILY GRATITUDE RITUALS.🫶🏾
- FIND YOURSELF A THERAPIST.🔍
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And as always, "Thank you for your support…"
(said exactly like the 80s Bartles and Jaymes commercials)
xoxo
MeMe
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
So as I was scrolling through Lisa Bone's Internet, I
found something that made me think and it said the
energy for twenty twenty four is love me well or
leave me alone. And of course that was Young Pueblo,
(00:24):
the Internet guru, the social media guru, love me well
or leave me alone. And that's the energy I'm on
for this year. Either you love me well or going
about your business, because I don't really have a lot
(00:45):
of room nor space for anyone who was not loving
me well, because this year I am hyper focused on
making sure that I love me well, and when I
love me well, not only around people to be not
(01:06):
only around while I only allow people to be close
to me who are gonna love me well. So again,
the energy for twenty twenty four is love me well
or leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
She's get your round.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I can't see the thing that happened. Okay, what's up, y'all?
Welcome to hand Me My Purse Podcast. I am and
Me Walker and I will be here forever, host each
and every single time you tune into this podcast. So
go ahead and get comfortable, get yourself a glass of
your favorite beverage, whether that's a Lacroix, hibiscuits, seltzer, water,
(02:09):
some gingerreo, a hot cup of black coffee with sugar,
or a dark rum and a coke. Go light yourself
a candle, some incense or burn some sage and just
get ready to chill out and have a good time.
(02:35):
What's up, friends and kin. It's Mimi Resident Auntie Supreme
here at Hamming My Purse the podcast, and today I
am sipping on some tea. I'm sure you can hear it.
My voice sounds a little groggy. That's because it's early
in the morning, and I'm recording this because by any
(02:56):
means necessary, we get that work done over here, okay,
And so I sound a little bit like Buster Rhymes.
And this is how I sound in the morning. Actually
it's worse than that. I've been drinking on some hot tea.
So the tea that I'm drinking is a tea called
Get Relaxed, and the other one is called Calm Buddha Blend.
(03:20):
And actually I just looked. Let me tell you somehow
God works. You know, tea brands always print, well not always,
but some of them, excuse me, print little messages on
their little tea ticker things. At the end, this one says,
(03:40):
and it is so on time and on time with
the message for today, what you think you become? Well,
all right, then what I think I become? And you
know what that is why we have to fill our
thoughts with goodness. So that's what I'm sipping on. What
(04:02):
are y'all sipping on today? I don't know what you're
sipping on because I can't hear you, but I think
you should tell me anyway, because I'm very curious to
know what y'all drink. I want y'all to know that
I love when you leave me messages on Instagram or
on Spotify and tell me which you're drinking or which
you're sipping. I find that a lot of you are
(04:22):
drinking water, and I am impressed because I don't drink
enough water. And the irony of me not drinking enough
water is that I own probably close to fifty traveler cups,
you know, between the company who shall not be named
and a hydroflask and to stan Lee's and other random
(04:45):
cups that I've buy. I have over fifty, and I
still don't drink enough water. You know, that's a problem. Okay, guys,
it's a problem, but one thing at a time, and
so right now focused on with this little thing on
this tee thing says, which is what you think you become.
(05:05):
Let's go ahead and get into it. Why don't we? So,
friends and came for today's jam. I found this song.
I don't even know how in the hell I found
this song. Now then we're in it, but it is
(05:29):
a feel good song. It's by a gentleman that I
don't I never heard of him before hearing this song.
I'm trying to remember where I heard this song of
how I was introduced to it. I think it was
very randomly. I was sitting probably working on handy in
my purse and it popped up and I was like, damn,
(05:51):
this is hot. Maybe it was on like one of
my Spotify play radio playlists. Anyway, it's by a young
man and he is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. His name
is Arsley A r z l e E. Never heard
of him before, never never, never never never. But when
(06:12):
I tell you, this song takes me back to like
the nineties. It's giving very much nineties R and B.
And anyone who knows me knows that I love Me
some nineties R and B, eighties and nineties R and B.
Actually it is. It's an adult song, and the song
(06:36):
is called Pottery, and basically he's talking about I'm saying
you can mold me and bend me any way you want,
like pottery, because I'm yours to mold and bend. Okay,
So listen to it. It's good. It makes me think
about when songs were sensual and sexual without being disgusting.
(07:03):
Remember those days, guys. That was a while ago. But
do you remember yesterday's price? It's not two days price.
So he's talking about you know, I think he's talking
about the sex. Don't get me wrong. I could be
wrong because art is left up to interpretation, but you know,
maybe that's what I'm on. Maybe I'm in that mental space,
(07:26):
but I think he is. And it's it's a beautiful song.
His voice is he sings in his head voice right,
and so it's very falsetto and light, but it's very controlled.
It's very beautiful and the song is just a groove.
(07:47):
So let's go ahead and get into it. I'm gonna
stop talking so much about it because I want you
to listen to it. But it definitely gives me nineties
mid to late nineties vibes. Actually, it's so good and
it makes me feel like maybe there's gonna be and
not to say there aren't, because there's so many artists
that I don't know about, like Arsley, but it just
(08:09):
made me think about the fact that, you know, I
would love it if like whole, full bodied, robust R
and B came back, not all of this like Bubblegum
baby powder Voice doing nine hundred church runs. You know
(08:33):
social media singing R and B that we see a
lot on social media. I'm talking about full bodied R
and B. And the wonderful thing about R and B
is that you don't have to be a good singer.
I prefer for the person to be able to sing well,
and this guy can sing. But it's about the energy
(08:56):
and the song and the lyrics and the music and
the arrangement and the feeling, as the young people say,
the vibe. I'm here for the vibes. Okay, So anyway,
get into Ursley Pottery. Tell me what you like. I'm
gonna try to post it on social media. Hopefully it'll
be in the Instagram. You know what I'm trying to say,
(09:21):
the music dictionary. Don't play with me. I'm getting old
the music dictionary thing where I can put it behind
like one of my social media posts. But if not,
you know where to find it. It's in the show notes.
Click on the link, listen to it, tell me what
you think, and let's go ahead and get this porty
store ted babyd me to well the.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Baby Jilly.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, So, friends and ken, this is going to be
an interesting one. This show, as I was prepping for it,
took a turn and went in a direction that I
didn't expect it to go in. But I brought it
back to where it was supposed to be. Sorry about that.
Life is out here lifing and I am out here
(10:37):
living right because that's all we can do. We either
live or we die. And in this moment, I want
to say that I am grateful for living. And if
you have been down with handing my purse since the
days of old, you know one thing I will do
is focus on gratitude, share which all and make it
(11:00):
a challenge. We're gonna we're gonna be going back to
the old school because I'm an old fool who's so cool?
What you know about that? Anyway?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Stick to the game plan.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I felt like it was time for checking and for
some transparency. And y'all know, here, hand me my purse.
We are a family. We is to gather. We is
to gather forever or until I am not doing this anymore.
But I don't plan to stop doing this anytime soon
because it brings me immense joy. It makes me very,
very happy, And I just wanted to take a moment
(11:34):
to be transparent with you guys and share what's going on,
because that's what I do. So in the spirit of transparency,
I have to say that I've really been feeling like
my life is really really really influx and I feel off.
I don't know if it is my hormones. I don't
know if it's paramenopause. I don't know if it is
(11:57):
a mild depression. I don't know if it is grief.
I don't know if it is because of all of
the transitions that are going on around me, particularly at work.
I don't know if it is because I've been working
out regularly and it's changing some of my my levels
(12:23):
or whatever, you know, like dopamine, serotonin, like they're up
and down. I don't know what the hell it is,
but something is off. My spirit feels a bit of unrest,
and I've been feeling this way for a while now,
and I'm not, like I said, I'm not sure if
it's because of the flow. Is the flow excuse me
of grief? Because grief, excuse me? My nose is a
(12:46):
little running. Forgive me it's an allergy season, because for me,
allergy season is all year long. But the one thing
that I can pin point is that I've noticed that
since I lost my grandmother, like grief for me is
(13:07):
very it doesn't really take form, if that makes sense.
Like it's kind of all over the place. And so
it's kind of like that little white lady on social
media that says, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. I can't do
it this morning because you know, it's morning. I'm not
(13:30):
even gonna tell you what time it is, but it's morning.
It's very early in the morning. But you know, like
I said, we gotta get shit done, stick to the
game plan. So I read a few quotes about grief
that really hit me in the gut, and a few
of them even made me cry, like on the spot,
(13:51):
and crying is what I do. So it's you know,
it's fine, but I wanted to share them with you
because maybe they will bless somebody one of you, or
be a blessing to you, as they were and as
they are for me. The first one likings excuse me
grief to the ocean, and it says grief is like
the ocean. It comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes
(14:14):
the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All
we can do is learn to swim. And that's by
Vicky Harrison. I love this because it did not say
all we can do is learn to swim or drown. No,
drowning is not an option. All we can do is
learn to swim. You know. I love that, and I
(14:35):
think it's just say it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.
But it's not my quote, so I'm just gonna read
what I saw in the interwebs. The next one is
by someone named Washington Irving and it says there's a
sacredness in tears. They're not the mark of weakness, but
of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
(14:57):
They're the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and
of unspeakable love. The next two are anonymous or we
don't know who I wrote them, And this one says,
grief I've learned is just love. It's all the love
(15:17):
you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent
love gathers up in the corners of your eyes. They
are the lump in your throat and in that hollow
part of your chest. Grief is just love with no
place to go. The next one says, my scars are
a testament to the love and the relationship that I
(15:39):
had for and with that person. And if the scar
is deep, so was the love. And the last one
comes from the prolific and philosophical mind of Winnie the Pooh,
and Pooh said, if there ever comes a day when
we can't be together, ooh, I'm gonna cry. Ooh, ooh
(16:02):
see what I mean, See what the fuck I'm talking about? Anyway,
let me try this again, for we need the pool.
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever. Listen,
that boy pool is getting deep over here right. Wait
(16:22):
a minute, is poor boy or girl? It's poo non
binary like I don't know anyway, That's not in my business. Okay,
we're just trying to stay focused. Excuse me. Sorry, see
I got a little weepy there for a second. Sorry
that I'm sniffling in your in your ears. But anyway,
(16:45):
poopy and non binary or not identifying as a male
or female bear, it's none of my business. So I'm
gonna mind my black ass business. And you know, let's
just go ahead and keep it moving. Let's move for anyway.
One more quote that I really loved about how to
navigate grief. Sorry, y'all, I'm trying to get it together.
(17:10):
One more quote that I really loved focus on how
to navigate grief and the instructions are really spot on.
And it says, and this is from someone named Zoe
Clark Coates, it says, grief is like a wild flower.
It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When
(17:31):
it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead,
we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made
it bloom. I love that, because that is it. I'm
going to read it again. Grief is like a wild flower.
(17:52):
It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When
it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead,
we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made
it bloom. And you know, going forward, I am going
to remember this lesson and I may even associate my
(18:15):
grief with the song Wildflower. There's a song by a
group called new Birth, you know the one let her cry,
Oh she's a lady, She's a lady. If you don't
know it, lucky for you. You know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna put it in the show notes for you. You
(18:39):
already know I'm gonna share it with you because my
singing is not doing it any justice. For my gen xers,
shout out to motherfucking gen X. You know the song.
But if you don't know the song I got you covered,
don't even worry about it. It's going to be in
the show notes. And you know, as I listen to
(19:00):
the words, it really really fits perfectly, Like I couldn't.
I couldn't believe that it fits so perfectly. When I
was getting ready to do this, you know, it just
made me happy because I was just like, look at
God working stuff out for me. J J Jesus. And
now my grief has a song and it's not a
(19:21):
song that I associate with sadness or it's not a
depressing song. And I'm proud of myself because I was
able to shift the narrative of my grief without even trying,
and I promise you I did it in real time
as I was working on this episode. And it just
something about that pop that quote, excuse me, not that post.
(19:43):
That quote just sent me to that song. And I
now have a song for my grief. And that is
why I love music, because music is art, clearly, but
it can just it can just take care of all
kinds of things. So thank you music. I am grateful.
Shout out to music because music will hear this because
(20:06):
music is a person. And it's really awesome because it
just goes to show that when you start to do
the work to heal, things will happen to help you
to shift the narratives that you have formed and to
shift the perspective of your world that you live in
(20:30):
and how you see that world. And I'm grateful for that.
And while I didn't plan to spend that much time
on grief, sometimes you just got to let the spirit
lead you. And where my spirit leads me is where
I will go with joy and with happiness. So anyway,
I really came here to talk to you guys today
(20:51):
about gratitude and thinking about how I have drifted away
from my own gratitude practices is what led me to
thinking about grief and unaddressed and untouched grief that isn't
caressed and held and nurtured and loved on with healing,
can turn into something that's really ugly, like a monster.
(21:13):
And you don't know this about me, but I'm scary
as shit. I'm scared of every fucking thing. And I
don't like no fucking monsters. I don't like ugly stuff.
I don't is scared shit out of me putting on
a mask and jumping out at me like that's kind
of shit. I peel on myself like it's not okay.
I don't like it. So we don't need no monsters,
you know what I mean. We don't want that. Nobody
(21:33):
likes that anyway. So, as I said, my life feels
like it's out of sorts. I feel a little out
of order, and you know it's crazy because I've been
going to the gym regularly. I have very wonderful, meaningful,
loving relationships in my life. With my friends, my family.
I have meaningful relationships with my coworkers, uh, the ones
(21:55):
that I like anyway, the ones that matter to me.
And my skin is clear, you know what. Hold on, y'all,
hold on. Let me remind y'all one more time. See
I told y'all before in an episode earlier this year,
in the Year of Our Lord on Old Dominie twenty
twenty four, that y'all need to go see Alex down
(22:18):
in Tyson's Corner or Vienna Virginia, whatever you wanna call it,
at Alexandra Healing Spot. Okay, And this is not a
fucking ad. This is because I don't want y'all out
here with pop marks on your face looking busted, not glowing. Okay.
I even gave y'all a code a couple of months
ago for when you book your first appointment. And there's
(22:41):
actually a couple of videos on my social media page
where excuse me, I'm a collaborator on the video, so
when Alex posted it, you could see it. But it
was one that was just posted last week on my
Instagram page of my last visit with Alex and I
got a process done called micro needling, And let me
(23:02):
tell you something, baby, b Does it hurt? No, I
have a higher tolerance or pain, so I'm probably not
the best person to ask. It doesn't feel great, but
it does not hurt. But let me tell you something.
My skin is gl la la la la la lowing.
(23:22):
You should call me glow Riller because my skin is glowing. Okay,
people always talking about their face. Card not decline and
take your fucking makeup off, though. Let me see what
your makeup look like, and what your makeup look like
when you ain't gotten. I mean, tell me what your
face look like with no makeup, and I mean no makeup,
no concealer, not even no moisturizer. Tell me what your
(23:42):
face look like when you just put some essence on
your face, Wash your face, put some essence on. Don't
even put your serum on yet, cause serum can give
you a little bit of a glaze. Just put your
essence on, which is what you put on before your serum.
And if you don't know what essence is, I'm not
talking about the magazine, shout out to Essence magazine. I'm
(24:03):
over here talking about skincare ladies, and you know what,
and gentlemen, because don't nobody want no man with no ashy, dusty, unexfoliated, flaky,
super poor large skin. Don't nobody want to do with
nasty skin either, And they sell too many products targeted
(24:24):
and specifically four men for grooming and to take care
of yourself that y'all walking around here will busted up skin.
It don't make no sense. If you ain't gonna go
get a facial, if you ain't gonna go and lay down,
let somebody tend to your skin, give your own self
a facial, watch some videos on YouTube and figure out
how to do it. A lot of y'all got beards.
(24:44):
When you go to the barbershop, they give you a
little lightweight facial. Take care of yourself, brothers, okay, because
don't nobody want to see you out here looking dusty
and ashy and dusty and ashy anyway, And I'm not
talking I'm about just putting grease on your face, because
it goes beyond that, because you've got to take it off.
The true understanding and not understand not the word I want.
(25:12):
I don't know the word I'm trying to think of
because I told you early in the morning. But when
you really have a glow you'll see the glow even
when you don't have any moisturize on your face. That's
when you know you're glowing. Anyway, that's enough of that,
so go look through my show notes because I'm not
going to I gave you the juice already, like I
(25:34):
gave you the product. Ira gave you the juice. Now
look through my show notes from this year. It ain't
been that long. Excuse me. Go look through the show notes,
find the link and the code and go. If you
are in the DMV area, go pay Alex a visit
and get your face together. Anyway, back to gratitude, Sorry guys.
(25:58):
So anyway, now, as I realized that my spirit was
not set on and I started to look closely at
what was going on, I was having a lot of
negative thoughts. I've been feeling really tired. The thing that
really has me jacked up is I've been feeling stuck.
I hate that feeling because I used to experience it
(26:23):
a lot in my twenties before I really got into
a heavy healing journey, or even before I started where
I would feel stuck. I have been experiencing feelings of
self doubt, not believing in myself you know, just not
being kind to myself and kind of feeling numb, where
I'm like just coasting right through life instead of living.
(26:46):
And it's easy to overlook being in this space, especially
when it could be some stuff that you know isn't
quite going right in our lives, or life isn't pinning
out the way we wanted to, whether that's in your
relationship or in love that we're dealing with, if you're
unhappy at work, feeling unfulfilled, like we often just attribute
(27:07):
it to these things. And that's not to say that
life's woes can't or doesn't play a part in it.
But I soon recognize where the void was or where
the hole was for me, and I realized that what
was missing was supreme gratitude in my life. That's what
it is. I figured it out. So when we are
(27:44):
living a life that is lacking in supreme gratitude, we suffer.
And some of you are probably like, well, Mimi, what
do you mean by supreme gratitude? Let me break it down. Okay,
Supreme is an adjective. It means in this instance, very great, intense,
or extreme. So therefore, and hence fourth friends again, I
(28:05):
am talking about intense and supreme gratitude. Well, Mimi, what
does that look like? I thought you'd never ask. That
simply means that you are focused on being grateful for
your entire existence, from the Ruda to the Tuda, from
the car we drive, to the gas in the car
that powers the engine, to the heat in the car
(28:27):
that keeps us warm, to the ability to watch the
moon from the driver's seat of your car while you
drive on the highway to go get yourself some French fries,
because that's what you want. You feel me, You get
what I'm saying. You're picking up what I'm talking about. Basically,
what it means is that you are not overlooking much
of anything, so something as grandiose as being grateful that
(28:50):
you have a home, or being grateful that you can run,
that you have legs, to being grateful that you have
let hairy legs, being grateful that you can afford razors
to shave your hairy legs, being grateful that you can
buy moisturizer and cream or oil to moisturize your legs
(29:12):
after you shave them, to being grateful to have socks,
to being grateful to have shoes, to being grateful to
have the ability to run and walk outside and enjoy
the air, to the ability to smell being grateful for
the flowers that are here. I mean, like you don't
really miss anything. Intense gratitude or extreme gratitude is extremely specific.
(29:39):
It's very intentional. It's laser focused. And again, pay attention
to me when I say it is very, very very intentional.
Gratitude has a lot of proven psychological and physiological benefits
like higher levels of happiness, better sleep, increase mindfulness, less stress,
(30:06):
and a healthier body. And so it's funny that I
read this because I've been going to the gym. I've
been working out, but I've been realizing that the scale
is not really moving. It'll move like maybe between four
(30:27):
to six pounds, right, And to me, that's typical. That's
my typical, like twenty eight day cycle weight shift because
I used to monitor my weight very closely because and
some people say, oh, it's not good to do that.
You shouldn't weigh yourself every day, mind you fucking business
and do what works for you. It's not a bad
(30:49):
thing to do. It's a bad thing to do if
you become obsessive about your weight and you get depressed
because you're not losing weight or you're gaining weight. I
don't get depressed about that. I've been big on my life.
What am I gonna get depressed about it? Now? I've
always done it because it's smart to pay attention to
how your body shifts in weight, especially as a woman
(31:10):
over a twenty eight day span, which is your cycle.
I know what foods or what drinks make me my
weight go up. I recognize when I'm not drinking enough water.
I recognize when I drink alcohol, my weight definitely goes up.
I can tell when there's a lot of inflammation in
my body just by monitoring my weight daily. Now, lately
(31:35):
I have not been doing it because my training tell
me not to, but I'm going to go back to
doing it eventually. Now I just do it like every
two weeks. But anyway, once again, I digress. But I'm
just saying, I'm just trying to let y'all know some stuff.
I just want y'all to be aware of some shit.
But anyway, it's interesting that it talks about a healthier
(31:55):
body because I have been going to the gym. At
one point, I had shifted my eating habits. They have
gotten not so great again because I had a little,
a little, a little fall, and you know, you know,
(32:18):
you know, you know when your body is out of whack.
So I'm excited about trying to get back, not trying
to get back because I'm going to do it. I'm
excited about getting back into my gratitude practice because I'm
excited to see the changes that are going to take
place not just mentally, emotionally, psychologically, but also physically for me.
(32:42):
And so when we are intentional about our gratitude, it
can improve the functionality of our everyday lives. Here's a
few ways that we can do that. So one, it
can improve our mental well being by fostering a positive
outlook and reducing stress. We all know they all the time.
And if you don't know stress, the chemical in our
(33:05):
bodies that produce a stress called cortisol. Cortisol is found
oftentimes it affects your mid section, like your stomach, your waistline,
all those areas. So all that shit is connected, friends,
and can Okay. Next, it can strengthen relationships in our
(33:31):
lives because we are expressing appreciation for the people that
are in our lives, whether there are people that we love,
and like or people that we are not fond of.
Everyone is in our lives for and with a purpose,
and we know that that's a fact because people are
either a blessing or a lesson in our lives, and
we need lessons and we love blessings. Right. It can
(33:55):
also help to cultivate the feelings and true understanding of
abundance and satisfaction with what we already have been blessed with.
That one is important for me anyway. Once again, it
says it can help cultivate the feelings and true and
(34:15):
cultivate the true understanding of abundance and satisfaction with what
we already have been blessed with. Lastly, it also increases
resilience by always focusing on the wonderful things in our lives,
even during difficult times or difficult situations. And for me,
this is why a gratitude ritual is important. And clearly
(34:37):
I have strayed away from my gratitude rituals just because
life be life and the fuck out of me sometimes,
you know, And I'm not perfect. I am not a guru,
I am not a being a human. I am a
human being, but I am not a being that is
without flaw without fault, and neither are you. And I
(34:58):
think it's important for us us to show some grace
to ourselves and some mercy because life is not easy.
It is difficult, and we have to be gentle with ourselves.
And so in the spirit of being gentle with myself,
I am going to get back into my daily gratitude
(35:22):
practice and I want to share that with you in
that experience with you. And the way that I do
that with you, guys, is by doing a gratitude challenge.
And so I've done gratitude challenges in the past. There
are several episodes with it. I know. The first one
(35:45):
I did was in November of twenty twenty one, and
it was amazing. It was amazing, It was amazing. Orhere's
that the only one, No, I think I did it twice.
One of them I was really really vocal about, and
that's the one in November twenty twenty one. So in
the spirit of doing that challenge, I noticed that a
(36:07):
lot of amazing things opened up for me and my
energy was just and my vibes, as the kids say,
were on a different frequency. And I want to get
off of the frequency that I'm on to get back to,
or not even back to. I want to move forward.
(36:30):
I want to get to a new frequency, if that
makes sense. And so it's time to get back to that.
And it's time to get back to focusing on being
grateful for everything and every piece of the puzzle of
my life in spite of whatever I got going on,
you know what I mean. I got to get back
to it. And that is where that gratitude challenge comes in.
(36:52):
It's a wonderful way to kick off a reset in
excuse me, my gratitude mindset and yours too. Spring is coming,
the seasons are about to change. Days are going to
get longer, the sun is going to be out longer.
So that should help with you know how I have
(37:15):
been feeling. But what better way to align that with
the changing of the season. And maybe I'll start doing
a gratitude challenge every time the seasons changed. Just gonna
throw that out there. I'll probably forget if I'm not
being if I'm being transparent, I'll probably forget. But anyway,
(37:35):
let's just get ready. And so you guys may be thinking,
what's a gratitude challenge? Me me? Well, what happens is
for a specific amount of time, we will do a
daily gratitude ritual together. And that doesn't mean that I'm
going to record something every day about it, but every week,
every episode during that span of time, I'll do kind
(37:57):
of like a check in, and I would implore you
to engage with me, whether that is via Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
with a review, social media. I'm on threads, I'm on Instagram,
I'm on Facebook, just to do a check in and
see like, how's it going. But we're going to do
it together, because why I do it alone. I'll do
(38:21):
check ins weekly. I usually do a check in about
halfway through, but every episode I'm gonna mention it and
bring it up and I'll talk about it a little
bit on social media, and I'm gonna I'm really asking
some of you guys to share with me when the
Gratitude Challenge is over, how it has helped you or
what you have discovered about yourself or about your life
(38:45):
while doing the challenge. And I'm really excited to start
it and the way that i will ask you to
share with me. In past times, at the end of
the Gratitude Challenge, I had some people that told me
that they did they were listeners I two of them.
I had never met one. What is a former coworker
(39:06):
and fan of the show and friend of the show.
Shout out to Ussence, and I'm talking about a person
named Essence, not the magazine and not the skincare stuff
I was talking about earlier, but anyway, also shout out
to your baby, shout out to quest But anyway, they
came on the show and they talked about how the
(39:29):
Gratitude challenge, how it manifested in their life, what they noticed,
what they noticed about their environment, what they noticed about
the people around them, but more importantly, what they noticed
and discovered about themselves and how it has changed it
changed them in that moment or during that time. And
it was really really a beautiful show. If I can remember,
(39:51):
I will link it in the show notes. But if
I don't, I want to say it's episode thirty seven
thirty eight. I could be very wrong, but it's the
first episode of twenty twenty two. I do know that
for a fact. So if you can't go back and
listen to it. And I am really excited to start
(40:14):
it again because I don't feel right, y'all. Something is off,
and I know it's off, and I don't know if
it is a hormonal thing, because I am a woman
of a certain age and I have a hormonal condition
in addition to that. But something is off kilter. I
don't know if it's my grief. I don't know if
it has to do with the fact that the sun
(40:34):
is not out enough or that it's cold, and I can't,
excuse me drive with my windows down and my sun
roof open and just get the sun on my skin.
But whatever it is, it's time for me to resent her.
And so what I do know is that a gratitude
challenge will immediately shift our energy from focusing on what
(40:58):
we don't have to what we do have. So I
am asking you to join me. Who will join me?
I'm going to do it for forty days. I always
do it for forty days, and I don't know why
forty days. Forty is a very spiritual number in the Bible.
Somewhere something happened for forty days and forty nights. It
(41:18):
rained for forty days and forty nights with Noah in
the arc right, And I know in Islam that there
holy fast and time when they fast Ramadan is for
forty days. So I do this for forty days because
excuse me, it is a spiritual practice for me. And
(41:41):
we're going to start on March twelfth, So that gives
you some time. Because this episode is going to be
released on March the fifth. That gives you seven days
to prepare. I really want to start today, and I
might actually just start today just to get start flexing
my muscle. But we will start as a community or
(42:02):
as a unit. As a community, a unit, and a
record label. We will start on March to twelfth. Shout
out to anybody who knows the reference of a crew,
a crew, what do they say that has a crew something?
And as a record label, Shout out to gen X.
I was about to say shout out to the person
(42:23):
who said that, but I won't since Snoop Dog owns
it now, Shout out to death Row Records. It was
Shug Knight who said that about Bad Boy Records in
the nineties. But what on the source of words? But anyway,
it sounds like a lot, but realistically it's not. So
we're gonna start on March twelfth, and we'll go to
April twenty. First, I believe that that is forty days.
(42:45):
If it is not charge it to my head and
not my heart if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure
that it is forty days, and as a community, we
are going to do this together my families. Right, I'm
out here, like Marshaun Lynch, trying to restore my community.
And I'm going to give you two easy, very descriptive
(43:07):
ways to implement a simple gratitude practice. The first one
is a daily two minute gratitude practice. Now this one
that I'm reading, the essence is the word of the day.
Every time I say essence, I'm going to play a
sound Okay, clearly because I said essence. So at the
(43:38):
root of what I'm about to share with you, that
is the basis for both of the rituals. But this
one is just a little bit different. It's just about preference,
and so this one is really good to do in
the evening before you go to bed. But you can
just find a time that works best for you. It
(44:00):
might be in the middle of the day when you
take your lunch break. It might be while you're sitting
in the line at school to pick your kids up
from school. It could be before you take your yoga class.
It could be after you take your yoga class. It
could be when you're taking a dump. Well, it could
be whenever you like. It's totally up to you. The
most important thing is that you are consistent, So pick
(44:22):
a time that you know that you can commit to
and stick to it. You want to get a small notebook.
It doesn't have to be a gratitude journal, but it
can be a small little notepad is fine, and that
will be your dedicated gratitude notebook. The notebook is key
because it's essential to actually put your pen to a
(44:45):
paper in ritualistic practices, especially spiritual practices, instead of typing
it out. If you don't have access to paper in
the moment, type it in your notes. But when you
get home or when you get to your notebook, like
if it's something that you don't want to forget, make
a note on your phone for things I'm grateful for.
(45:05):
You can never write down too much of what you're
grateful for. Make a note, but when you get home
you need to write it in your notebook. Okay. The
key is to put pen to paper when you are
doing spiritual practices. It is the mind and body connection
of writing your gratitude by hand. It amplifies the benefits
(45:27):
of it kind of like how making a home cooked
meal is always better for you and more healthy and
more what's the word. It's more nurturing to your body
and your soul than a meal that you buy at
the store. Two, keep it close to your bed if
you're doing it at night, or wherever you go every day,
(45:47):
wherever you return to every day at the same time.
Maybe it is by the coffee pot, so you can
jot down what you're grateful for while you make your
coffee or your tea. Just put it somewhere where you
know that you're going to go to that place every
single day, every night or morning. I feel like the
(46:09):
notebook is better at night, though, every night or morning.
Write the date at the top of the page and
set your intentions. What does that mean. That means that
you're going to tell yourself for a set amount of time,
however long you want to. You feel like you want
to write, Okay, today, I'm going to write for two minutes. Today,
I'm gonna be right for twelve minutes. Today, I'm gonna
(46:29):
write for twenty five minutes about things that I'm grateful for.
It's all up to you. I find that in the
beginning it might take a little bit longer, but as
you commit and you are used, you get used to.
It becomes a habit. Even if you're only doing it
for two minutes, two minutes is enough, like it's fine,
(46:49):
and you'll find that two minutes is a really long
time actually, So you do it that way, and then
in that time, you just write everything you're grateful for.
Anything that comes to mind for you is what you're
gonna put down. Don't censor your thoughts. Don't don't like
scale back, don't say, oh, it's stupid if I say that.
(47:12):
I'm looking at my plans right now, and you know, like,
I'm grateful for my plans. I'm grateful that my plants
are still alive because I started out with fifteen plans
and now I have four. Okay, I'm grateful for them.
I almost call them motherfuckers, but that wouldn't be right.
I'm grateful for these plants, and I want them to
know I'm grateful for them. I love you, guys, I'm
so glad you're still here. But I'm grateful for my plans.
(47:34):
I'm grateful for them. They're beautiful. They bring me joy.
So it could be something anything from something huge like
your health, or your parents, or your your coworkers that
you have a good time with, to something as small
as your fifty point cup collection, or you know, finding
(47:58):
a new song like Arsley's Pottery, or the fact that
you remember to you know, flush your teeth last night,
like whatever it is that makes you happy or that
brings you joy. Finding a new incense that you really like.
I'm oftentimes grateful for that because I love incense, and
(48:22):
when I find new ones that I really like, it
brings me joy. Another gratitude ritual is the one that
I love the most and the one that I typically do,
and that is by buying a pack of post its
or a pack of index cards. You find a bowl
or a vase or something that is large enough to
hold forty folded post its or index cards, or do
(48:46):
whatever you like with them if you want to throw
them on the floor at show business, but get some
post its or some index cards, or if you need to,
you can cut up some paper if you want to.
However it goes. I personally bought a bit standing based
from home since specifically to hold my gratitude notes. Uh.
(49:07):
And so what you're gonna do is this one is
not time based. This one is very different. This one
is you're gonna write down five things, five to ten
things every day that you are grateful for, every single day.
The difference with this ritual is that it's very important
that you do it in the morning versus doing it
(49:28):
at night. You don't need to spend a lot of money.
You could, like I said, cut up some paper if
you want to. I just prefer ease. And I like
things that are already done for me. And ain't nobody finish,
sit up and cut up no damn paper. I'm not
doing that. I'm not. But just like the other rituals,
you're gonna do this daily, this one, like I said,
is just not about a specific amount of time. It's
(49:50):
about quantity. And the quantity is five to ten rituals
every morning. And if you want, you can even toggle
between the two rituals. Last night, I was in Barnes
and Noble and I saw this cute little gratitude journal
and it's supposed to last you for three years. And
(50:12):
so it has three spots on there for you to
put the date in the year on there. And so
what I'm gonna do is I'm going to write in
that every night and just write like one thing that
I'm grateful for. But in the morning, I plan on
writing all of my five to ten on my post
it notes or on my in desk cards. I love
(50:34):
doing it. I just remember I'm excited. I'm getting excited
about doing it because it invigorates me in the morning.
It's a great way to start off your day with
a mindset of gratitude and being focused on being grateful
for the things that you have in your life every
single day, and it will eventually help to shape your
(50:57):
long term mindset as you go out and face the
world and face the day. It can really shape and
change the outcome of your day. And the most important
thing here, like I said, is to be as specific
as you can. Instead of saying something like I'm grateful
for my best friend right that I'm grateful that my
bestie called me on my way to work and listen
(51:18):
to me while I told her about my long day
at work yesterday. Take it up a notch if you
want to, by focusing on feelings rather than events, like
the amazing I'm grateful for the amazing feeling of laughing
with my best friend about my crazy co workers yesterday
or something like that. Make sure that you write authentically.
(51:39):
Do not be phony. Being phony is fucking pointless when
you're being grateful, it's pointless. So some of you who
have an issue or have a problem with being authentic,
you won't have to just figure this out because you
cannot be phony when you are expressing gratitude, because who
the fuck are you being phony for? Like it's your
(52:01):
gratitude journal. You're being phony for God? Because that's problematic,
my gi, that is a problem if you're being phony
for God, Like that is simple, Like that's simple as shit.
But anyway, this journal or these posted notes that you
(52:23):
keep will become like a record of your gratitude. And
so with each entry you are putting a coin into
your gratitude bank, and over time you will have a
lot of money, a lot of gratitude money, baby. And
so making sure that you have a practice is very centering,
it's very calming, and it keeps us focused on what
(52:46):
is most important in our lives, and it helps to
bring us into a life of ease. So mark your
calendar's friends and can March the twelfth, twenty twenty four.
That gives you a week from when this is released now.
If you don't listen to it the week that it
is released, that's your problem. I don't have anything to
(53:06):
do with that. But you missing out, my jie. You're
missing out on this gratitude goodness that's about to take place. Okay,
So marsh as well, you got a week to get
your posted or cut up your paper, or get your notebook,
your pen, you post it your index cards for me.
(53:27):
I take pride. I'm in pens. Also, it's a mild obsession.
I may have one hundred pins, but anyway, buy yourself
some nice pins, a pretty notebook or a freaking composition notebook.
I love composition notebooks, by yourself, a nice pen, and
then get ready to express some gratitude by yourself, some
(53:50):
pretty paper, some pretty post it, some pretty colors or
just plain yellow ones, some pretty index card or just
some white ones. And just make sure that every day
you are putting a pen to paper to be thankful
and be grateful for the things that you have. So ready,
(54:13):
get set, go, We got this. I'm excited. I'm excited
for you guys to do this for me, not for me,
because you're damn sure ain't doing it for me? You're
doing it for yourself. I'm excited for you guys to
do this with me, and I can't wait to hear
about it. Like I said, you can share it with
me on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Instagram, threads, Facebook. But I'm
(54:40):
really excited to do this and I'm excited that we
get to do this together. So let's do it, friends
(55:06):
of can let's get into today's straight facts question. I'm
just going straight forward. My husband and I have been
married for six years and we recently bought a house.
There's a single woman who lives across the street and
she often needs help with her trash cans. Every Monday night,
he goes over and helps her pull her trash cans
down to the end of the driveway. When I ask
(55:29):
him why he does it, he says he's just being nice.
I express that I don't like it, but he says
he's just being a nice neighbor. Should I let it
go or should I push for him to stop helping her?
Maybe I should talk to the female neighbor about putting
her own trash out. And that is from Teresa in Atlanta. Well, well, well, Teresa,
(55:59):
what kind of insecurity are you harboring, Sis, the man
is being kind. I'm willing to bet that your husband
grew up with his dad, or with an uncle, or
with a grandfather or somebody, some man who taught him
how to be kind to women and how to help
(56:25):
a lady out with certain things. Teresa, what is wrong
with this man helping this lady pull his trash can
down the street? Like? Is it like mss Parker on Friday?
Like is she out there in booty shorts, oiled up,
bending over water in her lawn? Like what is it?
(56:47):
Because if you're telling me you have a problem with
him being kind with her, helping her pull her trash down,
Like that's just a neighborly thing to do. Did you also? Like,
I'm curious, Theresa, I'm not trying to be funny. I
swear to God, I'm not. Like and there's nothing wrong
(57:10):
with this, But where did you grow up? Baby? Like?
Did you grow up in?
Speaker 2 (57:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (57:16):
Where'd you grow up? Because in neighborhoods where people own homes,
it's normal for neighbors to do things like that for
one another. I used to put my neighbor's trash cans
back up by their door when I was a kid,
and nobody had to tell me to do that. I
(57:37):
was just being kind. It sounds like your husband's just
being kind. Now, to be fair, you know your husband
better than I do. Maybe he's a slut, maybe he
has because this is coming from somewhere like this is
not a just just a you know, it's weird. I
(58:00):
don't know why he's doing it, because men do this
all the time. Women do it too, like people help
each other. Like have we gotten that far from you know,
humanity and being kind and being loving to one another
that people think it's weird that people help people with
their trash, their neighbors with their trash. Like I said,
(58:22):
you know your husband. You know if he's a slut.
You know if your husband's slut. You know if your
husband is a cheater, you know if he is not right.
You know that because he Yoman, honey. You know if
he yo man and somebody else man too. But if
he's not, and if he's just being kind by helping
(58:43):
your neighbor, chill the fuck out, Okay, chill out, because
it just sounds like these are your insecurities that you
are just throwing at him, and people don't like that.
Like I hate when people be like. Men don't like
when women always you know, people don't like when other
(59:03):
people say, excuse me, when other people say things that
are ridiculous. And I could hear a woman saying, oh,
is you fucking her because you're taking a trash out?
Calm down, calm down, baby, sis. He could very well
(59:25):
just be being kind. What is it? Is the neighbor
really pretty? So if she got a big butt, big boobs,
nice cheekbones, like, what is it? What about her is
intimidating for you? Because what we really do, what we
really need to do, Teresa, is examine why this is
(59:47):
a problem. And if we examine why this is a problem,
I'm sure it will lead us back to you. You
need to do some reflecting. What about her intimidates you
to the point that you don't like that this man
is helping her with her damn trash cans. Now I
(01:00:09):
could be wrong. He could be sleeping with your neighbor.
I don't know, because I don't know your husband and
I don't know this neighbor. But what I do know
is that if you're in a relationship that makes you
so uncomfortable that watching your spouse or your partner do
something kind for another woman makes you uncomfortable, Like, baby,
(01:00:31):
you got big problems. You need to talk to somebody
about this, because it ain't h This is a you
thing that you need to examine. And I'm not saying
that it's unwarranted because remember, Theresa, I don't know you.
I don't know you and your husband's situation. Maybe he's
(01:00:52):
cheated on you before and that makes you uncomfortable and
you don't trust him. But also if that's the case,
come on now, who the hell want to live like that?
Who wants to live like that? So thereesa please and
also please don't approach this woman about these trash cans
because you might get cussed the fuck out, and for what,
(01:01:16):
we don't need that. It's not necessary. It's no need
to take this to that lady. Talk to your husband,
but just also know that when you're talking to him
and you tell him that you don't like that he's
being kind to another human being, that's a red flag.
(01:01:40):
And if it is because maybe there's been some infidelity
or in that and I'm stretching, I don't know, and
that makes you uncomfortable, that's a red flag too. Because
you need to resolve that within yourself, whether that looks like,
excepting the fact that you can't be with somebody that
(01:02:00):
stepped out on you because the trust is gone. Sometimes
you gotta lets shit go. I ain't telling you to
leave your husband because I don't do that. I don't
do that in real life, podcast life, no life. Unless
he's physically abusive or she is physically abusive, then I
will tell people you should probably look into getting the
(01:02:22):
fuck out of there, but you need to do some reflecting. Okay,
you you you good luck, Teresa. Also, Teresa, if you
need it, in my show notes, there's a link to
find yourself a therapist if you don't have one. It
(01:02:43):
is not an ad, it is not an affiliate link.
I ain't getting no kickback. This is a resource for people,
because people, because this is how I found my therapist
and she has changed my motherfucking life. Shout out to
my motherfucking therapist. So, Teresa, why don't you go look
into show notes and find yourself a therapist so we
(01:03:07):
can get to the root of this. Okay, all right, Sis,
I love you. I want you to feel better. Friends
in him for today's we got to do better. It
is a quote from the good Reverend Jesse Jackson, Okay
of the Rainbow Coalition, and Reverent Jesse Jackson says, actually,
(01:03:32):
it's a great quote. He says, no one should negotiate
their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high.
No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams.
You should never agree to surrender your dreams. Thank you,
Uncle Reverend Jesse Jackson for that word. I needed it
(01:03:57):
today and yesterday, and I'll probably need it tomorrow too.
Shout out to Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton friends. Again.
The first thing I want to do is say thank
you to God, because God is supreme in my life
(01:04:18):
and I recognize and appreciate the grace, the mercy and
the blessings that and even the lessons that God extends
to me every single day of my black ass life.
I want to say thank you to my folk. I
want to say thank you to each and every one
of you that have been rocking on me since day one.
And that is March the first of twenty twenty. And
(01:04:38):
you want to know what's funny. Today is March the first,
twenty twenty four. Happy birthday. Was not really the official birthday,
but it is the official trailer release date, birthday of
handing my personal happy trailer release birthday to hand me
(01:04:58):
my purse V podcasts. My baby is Finna be four.
I'm grateful for y'all. Just in the spirit of gratitude.
I'm grateful for those of you who have been listening
to listening to me for four years. I really really
appreciate you guys for being here, and even if you
just started listening today, I thank you for that as well.
(01:05:22):
I'm grateful. I'm just grateful. I'm thankful for my family.
I'm thankful for my friends, my friends and ken, the
people who support me, and of course, most importantly again,
every single one of you guys out there listening. I
love y'all. There's a special part of my heart where
my love for you is stored, and I love you
so much. And it's nothing short of an honor and
(01:05:44):
a privilege and a blessing to share my time and
my energy with you, especially if you keep coming back
to spend time with me. I look forward to the
next time that we get to do this one another. Now,
before you exit out of whatever streaming service you're using,
to listen to this. Stop what you're doing, and if
you haven't done so already, look for the subscribe or
follow button. Click it if it's an option where you're listening,
(01:06:08):
and join the family. I also want to say side note,
I love when you guys start listening or you find
the show and then you follow me on Instagram or
tell me about it on Facebook or Instagram or threads
or Spotify. I love that. I love it. Next, speaking
(01:06:29):
of Instagram, I want you to go over to Instagram
and follow me at hand Me my Purse Underscore podcast.
Also follow me on Twitter. Actually, don't follow me on
Twitter because Elon Musk. Speaking of Elon Musk, and on
Facebook and threads, you can follow me on Threads. You
(01:06:49):
will find me if you go to my Instagram profile
and click on the little swirly thing it looks like
a at sign. That's how you can find me. On
threads and on Facebook just search hand Me my Purse pott.
If you happen to listen on a streaming service or
medium that allows you to do so, please rate and
review the show or give it a thumbs up if
you can. You know what friends that can can? You
(01:07:10):
do me a favor. Please, please, in the spirit of
handing my purse about to officially turn four years old
on April first, twenty twenty four, can you leave a review?
Can you do that? Can you go just take two
minutes on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify and leave a review. Please.
(01:07:31):
I'm begging you, and I don't like begging, but please,
can you do that for me?
Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
Be sure friends again, to share hear me my Purse
with your friends, your loved ones, and even your enemies.
Because the best way for people to find out about
this show is by you guys telling them all about it.
So tell a friend to tell a friend to what
tell a friend? Please submit your questions to the for
the street fact segment by clicking on the link in
(01:08:02):
the show notes that simply says submit a question for
straight Facts, or you can click the link in my
Instagram profile and look for the button that directs you
to submit a question, and who knows, your question may
be featured on an upcoming show. Also, remember that show
notes are always available in the episode description. Wherever you're
listening to the show, be sure to take a look
(01:08:23):
at the show notes because that is where I put
all of the links and other information that I mentioned
during the show that you may want to check out,
in addition to some stuff that I just want to
share with you. Also, just so you know, the music
for Hanmy My Purse the podcast is provided by none
other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Shout out to
(01:08:43):
Gloomy Tunes, Shout out to West Baltimore. Last, but not least,
I want to give a big old shout out to
my producers. Together we make up none other than Rando
Banjo and the Dirty Through And I want to say
to you that I look forward to you looking forward
(01:09:05):
to listening to hand Me My Purse the Podcast each
and every Tuesday, and I'm out this bitch peace. Hand
(01:09:30):
Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For
more shows from my Heart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
So as I was scrolling through Lisa Bone's Internet, I
found something that made me think and it said the
energy for twenty twenty four is love me well or
leave me alone. And of course that was Young Pueblo,
(00:24):
the Internet guru, the social media guru, love me well
or leave me alone. And that's the energy I'm on
for this year. Either you love me well or going
about your business, because I don't really have a lot
(00:45):
of room nor space for anyone who was not loving
me well, because this year I am hyper focused on
making sure that I love me well, and when I
love me well, not only around people to be not
(01:06):
only around while I only allow people to be close
to me who are gonna love me well. So again,
the energy for twenty twenty four is love me well
or leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
She's get your round.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I can't see the thing that happened. Okay, what's up, y'all?
Welcome to hand Me My Purse Podcast. I am and
Me Walker and I will be here forever, host each
and every single time you tune into this podcast. So
go ahead and get comfortable, get yourself a glass of
your favorite beverage, whether that's a Lacroix, hibiscuits, seltzer, water,
(02:09):
some gingerreo, a hot cup of black coffee with sugar,
or a dark rum and a coke. Go light yourself
a candle, some incense or burn some sage and just
get ready to chill out and have a good time.
(02:35):
What's up, friends and kin. It's Mimi Resident Auntie Supreme
here at Hamming My Purse the podcast, and today I
am sipping on some tea. I'm sure you can hear it.
My voice sounds a little groggy. That's because it's early
in the morning, and I'm recording this because by any
(02:56):
means necessary, we get that work done over here, okay,
And so I sound a little bit like Buster Rhymes.
And this is how I sound in the morning. Actually
it's worse than that. I've been drinking on some hot tea.
So the tea that I'm drinking is a tea called
Get Relaxed, and the other one is called Calm Buddha Blend.
(03:20):
And actually I just looked. Let me tell you somehow
God works. You know, tea brands always print, well not always,
but some of them, excuse me, print little messages on
their little tea ticker things. At the end, this one says,
(03:40):
and it is so on time and on time with
the message for today, what you think you become? Well,
all right, then what I think I become? And you
know what that is why we have to fill our
thoughts with goodness. So that's what I'm sipping on. What
(04:02):
are y'all sipping on today? I don't know what you're
sipping on because I can't hear you, but I think
you should tell me anyway, because I'm very curious to
know what y'all drink. I want y'all to know that
I love when you leave me messages on Instagram or
on Spotify and tell me which you're drinking or which
you're sipping. I find that a lot of you are
(04:22):
drinking water, and I am impressed because I don't drink
enough water. And the irony of me not drinking enough
water is that I own probably close to fifty traveler cups,
you know, between the company who shall not be named
and a hydroflask and to stan Lee's and other random
(04:45):
cups that I've buy. I have over fifty, and I
still don't drink enough water. You know, that's a problem. Okay, guys,
it's a problem, but one thing at a time, and
so right now focused on with this little thing on
this tee thing says, which is what you think you become.
(05:05):
Let's go ahead and get into it. Why don't we? So,
friends and came for today's jam. I found this song.
I don't even know how in the hell I found
this song. Now then we're in it, but it is
(05:29):
a feel good song. It's by a gentleman that I
don't I never heard of him before hearing this song.
I'm trying to remember where I heard this song of
how I was introduced to it. I think it was
very randomly. I was sitting probably working on handy in
my purse and it popped up and I was like, damn,
(05:51):
this is hot. Maybe it was on like one of
my Spotify play radio playlists. Anyway, it's by a young
man and he is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. His name
is Arsley A r z l e E. Never heard
of him before, never never, never never never. But when
(06:12):
I tell you, this song takes me back to like
the nineties. It's giving very much nineties R and B.
And anyone who knows me knows that I love Me
some nineties R and B, eighties and nineties R and B.
Actually it is. It's an adult song, and the song
(06:36):
is called Pottery, and basically he's talking about I'm saying
you can mold me and bend me any way you want,
like pottery, because I'm yours to mold and bend. Okay,
So listen to it. It's good. It makes me think
about when songs were sensual and sexual without being disgusting.
(07:03):
Remember those days, guys. That was a while ago. But
do you remember yesterday's price? It's not two days price.
So he's talking about you know, I think he's talking
about the sex. Don't get me wrong. I could be
wrong because art is left up to interpretation, but you know,
maybe that's what I'm on. Maybe I'm in that mental space,
(07:26):
but I think he is. And it's it's a beautiful song.
His voice is he sings in his head voice right,
and so it's very falsetto and light, but it's very controlled.
It's very beautiful and the song is just a groove.
(07:47):
So let's go ahead and get into it. I'm gonna
stop talking so much about it because I want you
to listen to it. But it definitely gives me nineties
mid to late nineties vibes. Actually, it's so good and
it makes me feel like maybe there's gonna be and
not to say there aren't, because there's so many artists
that I don't know about, like Arsley, but it just
(08:09):
made me think about the fact that, you know, I
would love it if like whole, full bodied, robust R
and B came back, not all of this like Bubblegum
baby powder Voice doing nine hundred church runs. You know
(08:33):
social media singing R and B that we see a
lot on social media. I'm talking about full bodied R
and B. And the wonderful thing about R and B
is that you don't have to be a good singer.
I prefer for the person to be able to sing well,
and this guy can sing. But it's about the energy
(08:56):
and the song and the lyrics and the music and
the arrangement and the feeling, as the young people say,
the vibe. I'm here for the vibes. Okay, So anyway,
get into Ursley Pottery. Tell me what you like. I'm
gonna try to post it on social media. Hopefully it'll
be in the Instagram. You know what I'm trying to say,
(09:21):
the music dictionary. Don't play with me. I'm getting old
the music dictionary thing where I can put it behind
like one of my social media posts. But if not,
you know where to find it. It's in the show notes.
Click on the link, listen to it, tell me what
you think, and let's go ahead and get this porty
store ted babyd me to well the.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Baby Jilly.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, So, friends and ken, this is going to be
an interesting one. This show, as I was prepping for it,
took a turn and went in a direction that I
didn't expect it to go in. But I brought it
back to where it was supposed to be. Sorry about that.
Life is out here lifing and I am out here
(10:37):
living right because that's all we can do. We either
live or we die. And in this moment, I want
to say that I am grateful for living. And if
you have been down with handing my purse since the
days of old, you know one thing I will do
is focus on gratitude, share which all and make it
(11:00):
a challenge. We're gonna we're gonna be going back to
the old school because I'm an old fool who's so cool?
What you know about that? Anyway?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Stick to the game plan.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I felt like it was time for checking and for
some transparency. And y'all know, here, hand me my purse.
We are a family. We is to gather. We is
to gather forever or until I am not doing this anymore.
But I don't plan to stop doing this anytime soon
because it brings me immense joy. It makes me very,
very happy, And I just wanted to take a moment
(11:34):
to be transparent with you guys and share what's going on,
because that's what I do. So in the spirit of transparency,
I have to say that I've really been feeling like
my life is really really really influx and I feel off.
I don't know if it is my hormones. I don't
know if it's paramenopause. I don't know if it is
(11:57):
a mild depression. I don't know if it is grief.
I don't know if it is because of all of
the transitions that are going on around me, particularly at work.
I don't know if it is because I've been working
out regularly and it's changing some of my my levels
(12:23):
or whatever, you know, like dopamine, serotonin, like they're up
and down. I don't know what the hell it is,
but something is off. My spirit feels a bit of unrest,
and I've been feeling this way for a while now,
and I'm not, like I said, I'm not sure if
it's because of the flow. Is the flow excuse me
of grief? Because grief, excuse me? My nose is a
(12:46):
little running. Forgive me it's an allergy season, because for me,
allergy season is all year long. But the one thing
that I can pin point is that I've noticed that
since I lost my grandmother, like grief for me is
(13:07):
very it doesn't really take form, if that makes sense.
Like it's kind of all over the place. And so
it's kind of like that little white lady on social
media that says, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. I can't do
it this morning because you know, it's morning. I'm not
(13:30):
even gonna tell you what time it is, but it's morning.
It's very early in the morning. But you know, like
I said, we gotta get shit done, stick to the
game plan. So I read a few quotes about grief
that really hit me in the gut, and a few
of them even made me cry, like on the spot,
(13:51):
and crying is what I do. So it's you know,
it's fine, but I wanted to share them with you
because maybe they will bless somebody one of you, or
be a blessing to you, as they were and as
they are for me. The first one likings excuse me
grief to the ocean, and it says grief is like
the ocean. It comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes
(14:14):
the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All
we can do is learn to swim. And that's by
Vicky Harrison. I love this because it did not say
all we can do is learn to swim or drown. No,
drowning is not an option. All we can do is
learn to swim. You know. I love that, and I
(14:35):
think it's just say it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing.
But it's not my quote, so I'm just gonna read
what I saw in the interwebs. The next one is
by someone named Washington Irving and it says there's a
sacredness in tears. They're not the mark of weakness, but
of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
(14:57):
They're the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and
of unspeakable love. The next two are anonymous or we
don't know who I wrote them, And this one says,
grief I've learned is just love. It's all the love
(15:17):
you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent
love gathers up in the corners of your eyes. They
are the lump in your throat and in that hollow
part of your chest. Grief is just love with no
place to go. The next one says, my scars are
a testament to the love and the relationship that I
(15:39):
had for and with that person. And if the scar
is deep, so was the love. And the last one
comes from the prolific and philosophical mind of Winnie the Pooh,
and Pooh said, if there ever comes a day when
we can't be together, ooh, I'm gonna cry. Ooh, ooh
(16:02):
see what I mean, See what the fuck I'm talking about? Anyway,
let me try this again, for we need the pool.
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever. Listen,
that boy pool is getting deep over here right. Wait
(16:22):
a minute, is poor boy or girl? It's poo non
binary like I don't know anyway, That's not in my business. Okay,
we're just trying to stay focused. Excuse me. Sorry, see
I got a little weepy there for a second. Sorry
that I'm sniffling in your in your ears. But anyway,
(16:45):
poopy and non binary or not identifying as a male
or female bear, it's none of my business. So I'm
gonna mind my black ass business. And you know, let's
just go ahead and keep it moving. Let's move for anyway.
One more quote that I really loved about how to
navigate grief. Sorry, y'all, I'm trying to get it together.
(17:10):
One more quote that I really loved focus on how
to navigate grief and the instructions are really spot on.
And it says, and this is from someone named Zoe
Clark Coates, it says, grief is like a wild flower.
It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When
(17:31):
it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead,
we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made
it bloom. I love that, because that is it. I'm
going to read it again. Grief is like a wild flower.
(17:52):
It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When
it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead,
we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made
it bloom. And you know, going forward, I am going
to remember this lesson and I may even associate my
(18:15):
grief with the song Wildflower. There's a song by a
group called new Birth, you know the one let her cry,
Oh she's a lady, She's a lady. If you don't
know it, lucky for you. You know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna put it in the show notes for you. You
(18:39):
already know I'm gonna share it with you because my
singing is not doing it any justice. For my gen xers,
shout out to motherfucking gen X. You know the song.
But if you don't know the song I got you covered,
don't even worry about it. It's going to be in
the show notes. And you know, as I listen to
(19:00):
the words, it really really fits perfectly, Like I couldn't.
I couldn't believe that it fits so perfectly. When I
was getting ready to do this, you know, it just
made me happy because I was just like, look at
God working stuff out for me. J J Jesus. And
now my grief has a song and it's not a
(19:21):
song that I associate with sadness or it's not a
depressing song. And I'm proud of myself because I was
able to shift the narrative of my grief without even trying,
and I promise you I did it in real time
as I was working on this episode. And it just
something about that pop that quote, excuse me, not that post.
(19:43):
That quote just sent me to that song. And I
now have a song for my grief. And that is
why I love music, because music is art, clearly, but
it can just it can just take care of all
kinds of things. So thank you music. I am grateful.
Shout out to music because music will hear this because
(20:06):
music is a person. And it's really awesome because it
just goes to show that when you start to do
the work to heal, things will happen to help you
to shift the narratives that you have formed and to
shift the perspective of your world that you live in
(20:30):
and how you see that world. And I'm grateful for that.
And while I didn't plan to spend that much time
on grief, sometimes you just got to let the spirit
lead you. And where my spirit leads me is where
I will go with joy and with happiness. So anyway,
I really came here to talk to you guys today
(20:51):
about gratitude and thinking about how I have drifted away
from my own gratitude practices is what led me to
thinking about grief and unaddressed and untouched grief that isn't
caressed and held and nurtured and loved on with healing,
can turn into something that's really ugly, like a monster.
(21:13):
And you don't know this about me, but I'm scary
as shit. I'm scared of every fucking thing. And I
don't like no fucking monsters. I don't like ugly stuff.
I don't is scared shit out of me putting on
a mask and jumping out at me like that's kind
of shit. I peel on myself like it's not okay.
I don't like it. So we don't need no monsters,
you know what I mean. We don't want that. Nobody
(21:33):
likes that anyway. So, as I said, my life feels
like it's out of sorts. I feel a little out
of order, and you know it's crazy because I've been
going to the gym regularly. I have very wonderful, meaningful,
loving relationships in my life. With my friends, my family.
I have meaningful relationships with my coworkers, uh, the ones
(21:55):
that I like anyway, the ones that matter to me.
And my skin is clear, you know what. Hold on, y'all,
hold on. Let me remind y'all one more time. See
I told y'all before in an episode earlier this year,
in the Year of Our Lord on Old Dominie twenty
twenty four, that y'all need to go see Alex down
(22:18):
in Tyson's Corner or Vienna Virginia, whatever you wanna call it,
at Alexandra Healing Spot. Okay, And this is not a
fucking ad. This is because I don't want y'all out
here with pop marks on your face looking busted, not glowing. Okay.
I even gave y'all a code a couple of months
ago for when you book your first appointment. And there's
(22:41):
actually a couple of videos on my social media page
where excuse me, I'm a collaborator on the video, so
when Alex posted it, you could see it. But it
was one that was just posted last week on my
Instagram page of my last visit with Alex and I
got a process done called micro needling, And let me
(23:02):
tell you something, baby, b Does it hurt? No, I
have a higher tolerance or pain, so I'm probably not
the best person to ask. It doesn't feel great, but
it does not hurt. But let me tell you something.
My skin is gl la la la la la lowing.
(23:22):
You should call me glow Riller because my skin is glowing. Okay,
people always talking about their face. Card not decline and
take your fucking makeup off, though. Let me see what
your makeup look like, and what your makeup look like
when you ain't gotten. I mean, tell me what your
face look like with no makeup, and I mean no makeup,
no concealer, not even no moisturizer. Tell me what your
(23:42):
face look like when you just put some essence on
your face, Wash your face, put some essence on. Don't
even put your serum on yet, cause serum can give
you a little bit of a glaze. Just put your
essence on, which is what you put on before your serum.
And if you don't know what essence is, I'm not
talking about the magazine, shout out to Essence magazine. I'm
(24:03):
over here talking about skincare ladies, and you know what,
and gentlemen, because don't nobody want no man with no ashy, dusty, unexfoliated, flaky,
super poor large skin. Don't nobody want to do with
nasty skin either, And they sell too many products targeted
(24:24):
and specifically four men for grooming and to take care
of yourself that y'all walking around here will busted up skin.
It don't make no sense. If you ain't gonna go
get a facial, if you ain't gonna go and lay down,
let somebody tend to your skin, give your own self
a facial, watch some videos on YouTube and figure out
how to do it. A lot of y'all got beards.
(24:44):
When you go to the barbershop, they give you a
little lightweight facial. Take care of yourself, brothers, okay, because
don't nobody want to see you out here looking dusty
and ashy and dusty and ashy anyway, And I'm not
talking I'm about just putting grease on your face, because
it goes beyond that, because you've got to take it off.
The true understanding and not understand not the word I want.
(25:12):
I don't know the word I'm trying to think of
because I told you early in the morning. But when
you really have a glow you'll see the glow even
when you don't have any moisturize on your face. That's
when you know you're glowing. Anyway, that's enough of that,
so go look through my show notes because I'm not
going to I gave you the juice already, like I
(25:34):
gave you the product. Ira gave you the juice. Now
look through my show notes from this year. It ain't
been that long. Excuse me. Go look through the show notes,
find the link and the code and go. If you
are in the DMV area, go pay Alex a visit
and get your face together. Anyway, back to gratitude, Sorry guys.
(25:58):
So anyway, now, as I realized that my spirit was
not set on and I started to look closely at
what was going on, I was having a lot of
negative thoughts. I've been feeling really tired. The thing that
really has me jacked up is I've been feeling stuck.
I hate that feeling because I used to experience it
(26:23):
a lot in my twenties before I really got into
a heavy healing journey, or even before I started where
I would feel stuck. I have been experiencing feelings of
self doubt, not believing in myself you know, just not
being kind to myself and kind of feeling numb, where
I'm like just coasting right through life instead of living.
(26:46):
And it's easy to overlook being in this space, especially
when it could be some stuff that you know isn't
quite going right in our lives, or life isn't pinning
out the way we wanted to, whether that's in your
relationship or in love that we're dealing with, if you're
unhappy at work, feeling unfulfilled, like we often just attribute
(27:07):
it to these things. And that's not to say that
life's woes can't or doesn't play a part in it.
But I soon recognize where the void was or where
the hole was for me, and I realized that what
was missing was supreme gratitude in my life. That's what
it is. I figured it out. So when we are
(27:44):
living a life that is lacking in supreme gratitude, we suffer.
And some of you are probably like, well, Mimi, what
do you mean by supreme gratitude? Let me break it down. Okay,
Supreme is an adjective. It means in this instance, very great, intense,
or extreme. So therefore, and hence fourth friends again, I
(28:05):
am talking about intense and supreme gratitude. Well, Mimi, what
does that look like? I thought you'd never ask. That
simply means that you are focused on being grateful for
your entire existence, from the Ruda to the Tuda, from
the car we drive, to the gas in the car
that powers the engine, to the heat in the car
(28:27):
that keeps us warm, to the ability to watch the
moon from the driver's seat of your car while you
drive on the highway to go get yourself some French fries,
because that's what you want. You feel me, You get
what I'm saying. You're picking up what I'm talking about. Basically,
what it means is that you are not overlooking much
of anything, so something as grandiose as being grateful that
(28:50):
you have a home, or being grateful that you can run,
that you have legs, to being grateful that you have
let hairy legs, being grateful that you can afford razors
to shave your hairy legs, being grateful that you can
buy moisturizer and cream or oil to moisturize your legs
(29:12):
after you shave them, to being grateful to have socks,
to being grateful to have shoes, to being grateful to
have the ability to run and walk outside and enjoy
the air, to the ability to smell being grateful for
the flowers that are here. I mean, like you don't
really miss anything. Intense gratitude or extreme gratitude is extremely specific.
(29:39):
It's very intentional. It's laser focused. And again, pay attention
to me when I say it is very, very very intentional.
Gratitude has a lot of proven psychological and physiological benefits
like higher levels of happiness, better sleep, increase mindfulness, less stress,
(30:06):
and a healthier body. And so it's funny that I
read this because I've been going to the gym. I've
been working out, but I've been realizing that the scale
is not really moving. It'll move like maybe between four
(30:27):
to six pounds, right, And to me, that's typical. That's
my typical, like twenty eight day cycle weight shift because
I used to monitor my weight very closely because and
some people say, oh, it's not good to do that.
You shouldn't weigh yourself every day, mind you fucking business
and do what works for you. It's not a bad
(30:49):
thing to do. It's a bad thing to do if
you become obsessive about your weight and you get depressed
because you're not losing weight or you're gaining weight. I
don't get depressed about that. I've been big on my life.
What am I gonna get depressed about it? Now? I've
always done it because it's smart to pay attention to
how your body shifts in weight, especially as a woman
(31:10):
over a twenty eight day span, which is your cycle.
I know what foods or what drinks make me my
weight go up. I recognize when I'm not drinking enough water.
I recognize when I drink alcohol, my weight definitely goes up.
I can tell when there's a lot of inflammation in
my body just by monitoring my weight daily. Now, lately
(31:35):
I have not been doing it because my training tell
me not to, but I'm going to go back to
doing it eventually. Now I just do it like every
two weeks. But anyway, once again, I digress. But I'm
just saying, I'm just trying to let y'all know some stuff.
I just want y'all to be aware of some shit.
But anyway, it's interesting that it talks about a healthier
(31:55):
body because I have been going to the gym. At
one point, I had shifted my eating habits. They have
gotten not so great again because I had a little,
a little, a little fall, and you know, you know,
(32:18):
you know, you know when your body is out of whack.
So I'm excited about trying to get back, not trying
to get back because I'm going to do it. I'm
excited about getting back into my gratitude practice because I'm
excited to see the changes that are going to take
place not just mentally, emotionally, psychologically, but also physically for me.
(32:42):
And so when we are intentional about our gratitude, it
can improve the functionality of our everyday lives. Here's a
few ways that we can do that. So one, it
can improve our mental well being by fostering a positive
outlook and reducing stress. We all know they all the time.
And if you don't know stress, the chemical in our
(33:05):
bodies that produce a stress called cortisol. Cortisol is found
oftentimes it affects your mid section, like your stomach, your waistline,
all those areas. So all that shit is connected, friends,
and can Okay. Next, it can strengthen relationships in our
(33:31):
lives because we are expressing appreciation for the people that
are in our lives, whether there are people that we love,
and like or people that we are not fond of.
Everyone is in our lives for and with a purpose,
and we know that that's a fact because people are
either a blessing or a lesson in our lives, and
we need lessons and we love blessings. Right. It can
(33:55):
also help to cultivate the feelings and true understanding of
abundance and satisfaction with what we already have been blessed with.
That one is important for me anyway. Once again, it
says it can help cultivate the feelings and true and
(34:15):
cultivate the true understanding of abundance and satisfaction with what
we already have been blessed with. Lastly, it also increases
resilience by always focusing on the wonderful things in our lives,
even during difficult times or difficult situations. And for me,
this is why a gratitude ritual is important. And clearly
(34:37):
I have strayed away from my gratitude rituals just because
life be life and the fuck out of me sometimes,
you know, And I'm not perfect. I am not a guru,
I am not a being a human. I am a
human being, but I am not a being that is
without flaw without fault, and neither are you. And I
(34:58):
think it's important for us us to show some grace
to ourselves and some mercy because life is not easy.
It is difficult, and we have to be gentle with ourselves.
And so in the spirit of being gentle with myself,
I am going to get back into my daily gratitude
(35:22):
practice and I want to share that with you in
that experience with you. And the way that I do
that with you, guys, is by doing a gratitude challenge.
And so I've done gratitude challenges in the past. There
are several episodes with it. I know. The first one
(35:45):
I did was in November of twenty twenty one, and
it was amazing. It was amazing, It was amazing. Orhere's
that the only one, No, I think I did it twice.
One of them I was really really vocal about, and
that's the one in November twenty twenty one. So in
the spirit of doing that challenge, I noticed that a
(36:07):
lot of amazing things opened up for me and my
energy was just and my vibes, as the kids say,
were on a different frequency. And I want to get
off of the frequency that I'm on to get back to,
or not even back to. I want to move forward.
(36:30):
I want to get to a new frequency, if that
makes sense. And so it's time to get back to that.
And it's time to get back to focusing on being
grateful for everything and every piece of the puzzle of
my life in spite of whatever I got going on,
you know what I mean. I got to get back
to it. And that is where that gratitude challenge comes in.
(36:52):
It's a wonderful way to kick off a reset in
excuse me, my gratitude mindset and yours too. Spring is coming,
the seasons are about to change. Days are going to
get longer, the sun is going to be out longer.
So that should help with you know how I have
(37:15):
been feeling. But what better way to align that with
the changing of the season. And maybe I'll start doing
a gratitude challenge every time the seasons changed. Just gonna
throw that out there. I'll probably forget if I'm not
being if I'm being transparent, I'll probably forget. But anyway,
(37:35):
let's just get ready. And so you guys may be thinking,
what's a gratitude challenge? Me me? Well, what happens is
for a specific amount of time, we will do a
daily gratitude ritual together. And that doesn't mean that I'm
going to record something every day about it, but every week,
every episode during that span of time, I'll do kind
(37:57):
of like a check in, and I would implore you
to engage with me, whether that is via Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
with a review, social media. I'm on threads, I'm on Instagram,
I'm on Facebook, just to do a check in and
see like, how's it going. But we're going to do
it together, because why I do it alone. I'll do
(38:21):
check ins weekly. I usually do a check in about
halfway through, but every episode I'm gonna mention it and
bring it up and I'll talk about it a little
bit on social media, and I'm gonna I'm really asking
some of you guys to share with me when the
Gratitude Challenge is over, how it has helped you or
what you have discovered about yourself or about your life
(38:45):
while doing the challenge. And I'm really excited to start
it and the way that i will ask you to
share with me. In past times, at the end of
the Gratitude Challenge, I had some people that told me
that they did they were listeners I two of them.
I had never met one. What is a former coworker
(39:06):
and fan of the show and friend of the show.
Shout out to Ussence, and I'm talking about a person
named Essence, not the magazine and not the skincare stuff
I was talking about earlier, but anyway, also shout out
to your baby, shout out to quest But anyway, they
came on the show and they talked about how the
(39:29):
Gratitude challenge, how it manifested in their life, what they noticed,
what they noticed about their environment, what they noticed about
the people around them, but more importantly, what they noticed
and discovered about themselves and how it has changed it
changed them in that moment or during that time. And
it was really really a beautiful show. If I can remember,
(39:51):
I will link it in the show notes. But if
I don't, I want to say it's episode thirty seven
thirty eight. I could be very wrong, but it's the
first episode of twenty twenty two. I do know that
for a fact. So if you can't go back and
listen to it. And I am really excited to start
(40:14):
it again because I don't feel right, y'all. Something is off,
and I know it's off, and I don't know if
it is a hormonal thing, because I am a woman
of a certain age and I have a hormonal condition
in addition to that. But something is off kilter. I
don't know if it's my grief. I don't know if
it has to do with the fact that the sun
(40:34):
is not out enough or that it's cold, and I can't,
excuse me drive with my windows down and my sun
roof open and just get the sun on my skin.
But whatever it is, it's time for me to resent her.
And so what I do know is that a gratitude
challenge will immediately shift our energy from focusing on what
(40:58):
we don't have to what we do have. So I
am asking you to join me. Who will join me?
I'm going to do it for forty days. I always
do it for forty days, and I don't know why
forty days. Forty is a very spiritual number in the Bible.
Somewhere something happened for forty days and forty nights. It
(41:18):
rained for forty days and forty nights with Noah in
the arc right, And I know in Islam that there
holy fast and time when they fast Ramadan is for
forty days. So I do this for forty days because
excuse me, it is a spiritual practice for me. And
(41:41):
we're going to start on March twelfth, So that gives
you some time. Because this episode is going to be
released on March the fifth. That gives you seven days
to prepare. I really want to start today, and I
might actually just start today just to get start flexing
my muscle. But we will start as a community or
(42:02):
as a unit. As a community, a unit, and a
record label. We will start on March to twelfth. Shout
out to anybody who knows the reference of a crew,
a crew, what do they say that has a crew something?
And as a record label, Shout out to gen X.
I was about to say shout out to the person
(42:23):
who said that, but I won't since Snoop Dog owns
it now, Shout out to death Row Records. It was
Shug Knight who said that about Bad Boy Records in
the nineties. But what on the source of words? But anyway,
it sounds like a lot, but realistically it's not. So
we're gonna start on March twelfth, and we'll go to
April twenty. First, I believe that that is forty days.
(42:45):
If it is not charge it to my head and
not my heart if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure
that it is forty days, and as a community, we
are going to do this together my families. Right, I'm
out here, like Marshaun Lynch, trying to restore my community.
And I'm going to give you two easy, very descriptive
(43:07):
ways to implement a simple gratitude practice. The first one
is a daily two minute gratitude practice. Now this one
that I'm reading, the essence is the word of the day.
Every time I say essence, I'm going to play a
sound Okay, clearly because I said essence. So at the
(43:38):
root of what I'm about to share with you, that
is the basis for both of the rituals. But this
one is just a little bit different. It's just about preference,
and so this one is really good to do in
the evening before you go to bed. But you can
just find a time that works best for you. It
(44:00):
might be in the middle of the day when you
take your lunch break. It might be while you're sitting
in the line at school to pick your kids up
from school. It could be before you take your yoga class.
It could be after you take your yoga class. It
could be when you're taking a dump. Well, it could
be whenever you like. It's totally up to you. The
most important thing is that you are consistent, So pick
(44:22):
a time that you know that you can commit to
and stick to it. You want to get a small notebook.
It doesn't have to be a gratitude journal, but it
can be a small little notepad is fine, and that
will be your dedicated gratitude notebook. The notebook is key
because it's essential to actually put your pen to a
(44:45):
paper in ritualistic practices, especially spiritual practices, instead of typing
it out. If you don't have access to paper in
the moment, type it in your notes. But when you
get home or when you get to your notebook, like
if it's something that you don't want to forget, make
a note on your phone for things I'm grateful for.
(45:05):
You can never write down too much of what you're
grateful for. Make a note, but when you get home
you need to write it in your notebook. Okay. The
key is to put pen to paper when you are
doing spiritual practices. It is the mind and body connection
of writing your gratitude by hand. It amplifies the benefits
(45:27):
of it kind of like how making a home cooked
meal is always better for you and more healthy and
more what's the word. It's more nurturing to your body
and your soul than a meal that you buy at
the store. Two, keep it close to your bed if
you're doing it at night, or wherever you go every day,
(45:47):
wherever you return to every day at the same time.
Maybe it is by the coffee pot, so you can
jot down what you're grateful for while you make your
coffee or your tea. Just put it somewhere where you
know that you're going to go to that place every
single day, every night or morning. I feel like the
(46:09):
notebook is better at night, though, every night or morning.
Write the date at the top of the page and
set your intentions. What does that mean. That means that
you're going to tell yourself for a set amount of time,
however long you want to. You feel like you want
to write, Okay, today, I'm going to write for two minutes. Today,
I'm gonna be right for twelve minutes. Today, I'm gonna
(46:29):
write for twenty five minutes about things that I'm grateful for.
It's all up to you. I find that in the
beginning it might take a little bit longer, but as
you commit and you are used, you get used to.
It becomes a habit. Even if you're only doing it
for two minutes, two minutes is enough, like it's fine,
(46:49):
and you'll find that two minutes is a really long
time actually, So you do it that way, and then
in that time, you just write everything you're grateful for.
Anything that comes to mind for you is what you're
gonna put down. Don't censor your thoughts. Don't don't like
scale back, don't say, oh, it's stupid if I say that.
(47:12):
I'm looking at my plans right now, and you know, like,
I'm grateful for my plans. I'm grateful that my plants
are still alive because I started out with fifteen plans
and now I have four. Okay, I'm grateful for them.
I almost call them motherfuckers, but that wouldn't be right.
I'm grateful for these plants, and I want them to
know I'm grateful for them. I love you, guys, I'm
so glad you're still here. But I'm grateful for my plans.
(47:34):
I'm grateful for them. They're beautiful. They bring me joy.
So it could be something anything from something huge like
your health, or your parents, or your your coworkers that
you have a good time with, to something as small
as your fifty point cup collection, or you know, finding
(47:58):
a new song like Arsley's Pottery, or the fact that
you remember to you know, flush your teeth last night,
like whatever it is that makes you happy or that
brings you joy. Finding a new incense that you really like.
I'm oftentimes grateful for that because I love incense, and
(48:22):
when I find new ones that I really like, it
brings me joy. Another gratitude ritual is the one that
I love the most and the one that I typically do,
and that is by buying a pack of post its
or a pack of index cards. You find a bowl
or a vase or something that is large enough to
hold forty folded post its or index cards, or do
(48:46):
whatever you like with them if you want to throw
them on the floor at show business, but get some
post its or some index cards, or if you need to,
you can cut up some paper if you want to.
However it goes. I personally bought a bit standing based
from home since specifically to hold my gratitude notes. Uh.
(49:07):
And so what you're gonna do is this one is
not time based. This one is very different. This one
is you're gonna write down five things, five to ten
things every day that you are grateful for, every single day.
The difference with this ritual is that it's very important
that you do it in the morning versus doing it
(49:28):
at night. You don't need to spend a lot of money.
You could, like I said, cut up some paper if
you want to. I just prefer ease. And I like
things that are already done for me. And ain't nobody finish,
sit up and cut up no damn paper. I'm not
doing that. I'm not. But just like the other rituals,
you're gonna do this daily, this one, like I said,
is just not about a specific amount of time. It's
(49:50):
about quantity. And the quantity is five to ten rituals
every morning. And if you want, you can even toggle
between the two rituals. Last night, I was in Barnes
and Noble and I saw this cute little gratitude journal
and it's supposed to last you for three years. And
(50:12):
so it has three spots on there for you to
put the date in the year on there. And so
what I'm gonna do is I'm going to write in
that every night and just write like one thing that
I'm grateful for. But in the morning, I plan on
writing all of my five to ten on my post
it notes or on my in desk cards. I love
(50:34):
doing it. I just remember I'm excited. I'm getting excited
about doing it because it invigorates me in the morning.
It's a great way to start off your day with
a mindset of gratitude and being focused on being grateful
for the things that you have in your life every
single day, and it will eventually help to shape your
(50:57):
long term mindset as you go out and face the
world and face the day. It can really shape and
change the outcome of your day. And the most important
thing here, like I said, is to be as specific
as you can. Instead of saying something like I'm grateful
for my best friend right that I'm grateful that my
bestie called me on my way to work and listen
(51:18):
to me while I told her about my long day
at work yesterday. Take it up a notch if you
want to, by focusing on feelings rather than events, like
the amazing I'm grateful for the amazing feeling of laughing
with my best friend about my crazy co workers yesterday
or something like that. Make sure that you write authentically.
(51:39):
Do not be phony. Being phony is fucking pointless when
you're being grateful, it's pointless. So some of you who
have an issue or have a problem with being authentic,
you won't have to just figure this out because you
cannot be phony when you are expressing gratitude, because who
the fuck are you being phony for? Like it's your
(52:01):
gratitude journal. You're being phony for God? Because that's problematic,
my gi, that is a problem if you're being phony
for God, Like that is simple, Like that's simple as shit.
But anyway, this journal or these posted notes that you
(52:23):
keep will become like a record of your gratitude. And
so with each entry you are putting a coin into
your gratitude bank, and over time you will have a
lot of money, a lot of gratitude money, baby. And
so making sure that you have a practice is very centering,
it's very calming, and it keeps us focused on what
(52:46):
is most important in our lives, and it helps to
bring us into a life of ease. So mark your
calendar's friends and can March the twelfth, twenty twenty four.
That gives you a week from when this is released now.
If you don't listen to it the week that it
is released, that's your problem. I don't have anything to
(53:06):
do with that. But you missing out, my jie. You're
missing out on this gratitude goodness that's about to take place. Okay,
So marsh as well, you got a week to get
your posted or cut up your paper, or get your notebook,
your pen, you post it your index cards for me.
(53:27):
I take pride. I'm in pens. Also, it's a mild obsession.
I may have one hundred pins, but anyway, buy yourself
some nice pins, a pretty notebook or a freaking composition notebook.
I love composition notebooks, by yourself, a nice pen, and
then get ready to express some gratitude by yourself, some
(53:50):
pretty paper, some pretty post it, some pretty colors or
just plain yellow ones, some pretty index card or just
some white ones. And just make sure that every day
you are putting a pen to paper to be thankful
and be grateful for the things that you have. So ready,
(54:13):
get set, go, We got this. I'm excited. I'm excited
for you guys to do this for me, not for me,
because you're damn sure ain't doing it for me? You're
doing it for yourself. I'm excited for you guys to
do this with me, and I can't wait to hear
about it. Like I said, you can share it with
me on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Instagram, threads, Facebook. But I'm
(54:40):
really excited to do this and I'm excited that we
get to do this together. So let's do it, friends
(55:06):
of can let's get into today's straight facts question. I'm
just going straight forward. My husband and I have been
married for six years and we recently bought a house.
There's a single woman who lives across the street and
she often needs help with her trash cans. Every Monday night,
he goes over and helps her pull her trash cans
down to the end of the driveway. When I ask
(55:29):
him why he does it, he says he's just being nice.
I express that I don't like it, but he says
he's just being a nice neighbor. Should I let it
go or should I push for him to stop helping her?
Maybe I should talk to the female neighbor about putting
her own trash out. And that is from Teresa in Atlanta. Well, well, well, Teresa,
(55:59):
what kind of insecurity are you harboring, Sis, the man
is being kind. I'm willing to bet that your husband
grew up with his dad, or with an uncle, or
with a grandfather or somebody, some man who taught him
how to be kind to women and how to help
(56:25):
a lady out with certain things. Teresa, what is wrong
with this man helping this lady pull his trash can
down the street? Like? Is it like mss Parker on Friday?
Like is she out there in booty shorts, oiled up,
bending over water in her lawn? Like what is it?
(56:47):
Because if you're telling me you have a problem with
him being kind with her, helping her pull her trash down,
Like that's just a neighborly thing to do. Did you also? Like,
I'm curious, Theresa, I'm not trying to be funny. I
swear to God, I'm not. Like and there's nothing wrong
(57:10):
with this, But where did you grow up? Baby? Like?
Did you grow up in?
Speaker 2 (57:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (57:16):
Where'd you grow up? Because in neighborhoods where people own homes,
it's normal for neighbors to do things like that for
one another. I used to put my neighbor's trash cans
back up by their door when I was a kid,
and nobody had to tell me to do that. I
(57:37):
was just being kind. It sounds like your husband's just
being kind. Now, to be fair, you know your husband
better than I do. Maybe he's a slut, maybe he
has because this is coming from somewhere like this is
not a just just a you know, it's weird. I
(58:00):
don't know why he's doing it, because men do this
all the time. Women do it too, like people help
each other. Like have we gotten that far from you know,
humanity and being kind and being loving to one another
that people think it's weird that people help people with
their trash, their neighbors with their trash. Like I said,
(58:22):
you know your husband. You know if he's a slut.
You know if your husband's slut. You know if your
husband is a cheater, you know if he is not right.
You know that because he Yoman, honey. You know if
he yo man and somebody else man too. But if
he's not, and if he's just being kind by helping
(58:43):
your neighbor, chill the fuck out, Okay, chill out, because
it just sounds like these are your insecurities that you
are just throwing at him, and people don't like that.
Like I hate when people be like. Men don't like
when women always you know, people don't like when other
(59:03):
people say, excuse me, when other people say things that
are ridiculous. And I could hear a woman saying, oh,
is you fucking her because you're taking a trash out?
Calm down, calm down, baby, sis. He could very well
(59:25):
just be being kind. What is it? Is the neighbor
really pretty? So if she got a big butt, big boobs,
nice cheekbones, like, what is it? What about her is
intimidating for you? Because what we really do, what we
really need to do, Teresa, is examine why this is
(59:47):
a problem. And if we examine why this is a problem,
I'm sure it will lead us back to you. You
need to do some reflecting. What about her intimidates you
to the point that you don't like that this man
is helping her with her damn trash cans. Now I
(01:00:09):
could be wrong. He could be sleeping with your neighbor.
I don't know, because I don't know your husband and
I don't know this neighbor. But what I do know
is that if you're in a relationship that makes you
so uncomfortable that watching your spouse or your partner do
something kind for another woman makes you uncomfortable, Like, baby,
(01:00:31):
you got big problems. You need to talk to somebody
about this, because it ain't h This is a you
thing that you need to examine. And I'm not saying
that it's unwarranted because remember, Theresa, I don't know you.
I don't know you and your husband's situation. Maybe he's
(01:00:52):
cheated on you before and that makes you uncomfortable and
you don't trust him. But also if that's the case,
come on now, who the hell want to live like that?
Who wants to live like that? So thereesa please and
also please don't approach this woman about these trash cans
because you might get cussed the fuck out, and for what,
(01:01:16):
we don't need that. It's not necessary. It's no need
to take this to that lady. Talk to your husband,
but just also know that when you're talking to him
and you tell him that you don't like that he's
being kind to another human being, that's a red flag.
(01:01:40):
And if it is because maybe there's been some infidelity
or in that and I'm stretching, I don't know, and
that makes you uncomfortable, that's a red flag too. Because
you need to resolve that within yourself, whether that looks like,
excepting the fact that you can't be with somebody that
(01:02:00):
stepped out on you because the trust is gone. Sometimes
you gotta lets shit go. I ain't telling you to
leave your husband because I don't do that. I don't
do that in real life, podcast life, no life. Unless
he's physically abusive or she is physically abusive, then I
will tell people you should probably look into getting the
(01:02:22):
fuck out of there, but you need to do some reflecting. Okay,
you you you good luck, Teresa. Also, Teresa, if you
need it, in my show notes, there's a link to
find yourself a therapist if you don't have one. It
(01:02:43):
is not an ad, it is not an affiliate link.
I ain't getting no kickback. This is a resource for people,
because people, because this is how I found my therapist
and she has changed my motherfucking life. Shout out to
my motherfucking therapist. So, Teresa, why don't you go look
into show notes and find yourself a therapist so we
(01:03:07):
can get to the root of this. Okay, all right, Sis,
I love you. I want you to feel better. Friends
in him for today's we got to do better. It
is a quote from the good Reverend Jesse Jackson, Okay
of the Rainbow Coalition, and Reverent Jesse Jackson says, actually,
(01:03:32):
it's a great quote. He says, no one should negotiate
their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high.
No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams.
You should never agree to surrender your dreams. Thank you,
Uncle Reverend Jesse Jackson for that word. I needed it
(01:03:57):
today and yesterday, and I'll probably need it tomorrow too.
Shout out to Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton friends. Again.
The first thing I want to do is say thank
you to God, because God is supreme in my life
(01:04:18):
and I recognize and appreciate the grace, the mercy and
the blessings that and even the lessons that God extends
to me every single day of my black ass life.
I want to say thank you to my folk. I
want to say thank you to each and every one
of you that have been rocking on me since day one.
And that is March the first of twenty twenty. And
(01:04:38):
you want to know what's funny. Today is March the first,
twenty twenty four. Happy birthday. Was not really the official birthday,
but it is the official trailer release date, birthday of
handing my personal happy trailer release birthday to hand me
(01:04:58):
my purse V podcasts. My baby is Finna be four.
I'm grateful for y'all. Just in the spirit of gratitude.
I'm grateful for those of you who have been listening
to listening to me for four years. I really really
appreciate you guys for being here, and even if you
just started listening today, I thank you for that as well.
(01:05:22):
I'm grateful. I'm just grateful. I'm thankful for my family.
I'm thankful for my friends, my friends and ken, the
people who support me, and of course, most importantly again,
every single one of you guys out there listening. I
love y'all. There's a special part of my heart where
my love for you is stored, and I love you
so much. And it's nothing short of an honor and
(01:05:44):
a privilege and a blessing to share my time and
my energy with you, especially if you keep coming back
to spend time with me. I look forward to the
next time that we get to do this one another. Now,
before you exit out of whatever streaming service you're using,
to listen to this. Stop what you're doing, and if
you haven't done so already, look for the subscribe or
follow button. Click it if it's an option where you're listening,
(01:06:08):
and join the family. I also want to say side note,
I love when you guys start listening or you find
the show and then you follow me on Instagram or
tell me about it on Facebook or Instagram or threads
or Spotify. I love that. I love it. Next, speaking
(01:06:29):
of Instagram, I want you to go over to Instagram
and follow me at hand Me my Purse Underscore podcast.
Also follow me on Twitter. Actually, don't follow me on
Twitter because Elon Musk. Speaking of Elon Musk, and on
Facebook and threads, you can follow me on Threads. You
(01:06:49):
will find me if you go to my Instagram profile
and click on the little swirly thing it looks like
a at sign. That's how you can find me. On
threads and on Facebook just search hand Me my Purse pott.
If you happen to listen on a streaming service or
medium that allows you to do so, please rate and
review the show or give it a thumbs up if
you can. You know what friends that can can? You
(01:07:10):
do me a favor. Please, please, in the spirit of
handing my purse about to officially turn four years old
on April first, twenty twenty four, can you leave a review?
Can you do that? Can you go just take two
minutes on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify and leave a review. Please.
(01:07:31):
I'm begging you, and I don't like begging, but please,
can you do that for me?
Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
Be sure friends again, to share hear me my Purse
with your friends, your loved ones, and even your enemies.
Because the best way for people to find out about
this show is by you guys telling them all about it.
So tell a friend to tell a friend to what
tell a friend? Please submit your questions to the for
the street fact segment by clicking on the link in
(01:08:02):
the show notes that simply says submit a question for
straight Facts, or you can click the link in my
Instagram profile and look for the button that directs you
to submit a question, and who knows, your question may
be featured on an upcoming show. Also, remember that show
notes are always available in the episode description. Wherever you're
listening to the show, be sure to take a look
(01:08:23):
at the show notes because that is where I put
all of the links and other information that I mentioned
during the show that you may want to check out,
in addition to some stuff that I just want to
share with you. Also, just so you know, the music
for Hanmy My Purse the podcast is provided by none
other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Shout out to
(01:08:43):
Gloomy Tunes, Shout out to West Baltimore. Last, but not least,
I want to give a big old shout out to
my producers. Together we make up none other than Rando
Banjo and the Dirty Through And I want to say
to you that I look forward to you looking forward
(01:09:05):
to listening to hand Me My Purse the Podcast each
and every Tuesday, and I'm out this bitch peace. Hand
(01:09:30):
Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For
more shows from my Heart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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