No. 85: Are You Living For Yesterday, Today or Tomorrow? + LIVING IN THE RIGHT NOW!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
So recently I read something on Debbie Allen's Internet and
it hit home for me because this is something that
I do all the time, and a lot of people
in my life or that used to be in my life,
they are not fond of the fact that I do this,

(00:20):
but I don't really care. I'm going to continue to
do it because of the way that I need to
process information. And I know that sometimes when I do
it can be a little overwhelming, but once again, that's
not my concern. And it is I found it on
Facebook and it is by someone named Chantell Morrison, and

(00:40):
it says, let's normalize asking questions for clarity instead of
moving based on the story you've created in your mind,
which may or may not be true. Clarity preserves all relationships,
and in my mind that is an absolute fact because
clarity leads to understanding and understanding. To me, in my mind,

(01:06):
in my opinion, is the most important aspect of any relationship.
Not love, not honesty, not trust, not communication, understanding because
if I understand you, then loving you it may not

(01:28):
come easy, but I know what to do. If I
understand you, I know how you like to communicate or
how you communicate, which is going to make communication easier.
If I understand you, I know that you're a liar.
I understand that you are not a truthful person, and
so when you tell me lies, you know, hopefully I
may not be as upset as I was the last time,

(01:50):
or I may be. Understanding gives us options, and that's
important because we all like options. It gives you the
option to figure out how to work it out. It
gives you the option to figure out how you want
to navigate the space. It gives you the option to
walk away from a situation. It gives you the option

(02:10):
to stay in the situation. It gives you the option
to want to help somebody, because the truth of the
matter is that without that understanding of that person or
of the situation, like you're kind of ignorant. You're left
in the dark. And how do you navigate that way?
Like it's hard to move around in the dark. So

(02:31):
ask the questions you want to know, because you deserve
to know. And that's that. Now, let's go ahead and
get this poorty stored friends and can If you follow
me on Instagram, then you know I have the flu.

(02:51):
If you don't follow me on Instagram, well that's a problem.
But in addition to that, I have the flu. So
this episode is the episode that I have for days
like this where I'm sick or something comes up. It's
a banked episode, but I wanted to make sure that
I at least recorded something to remind you that we

(03:13):
are starting our Gratitude Challenge today, March the twelfth. Now,
if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about,
go back and listen to the last episode, episode eighty four,
so you can find out what I'm talking about and
get ready for the Gratitude Challenge, which starts today. If

(03:34):
you are listening and it is not March twelfth, let's
say it's March the fifteenth, beware the odds of March.
Start on March fifteenth. Start where you are. That is
a very important actually it's a very important principle of Buddhism.
But just start where you are with what you have.
Go listen to the last episode because I'm not about

(03:54):
to run it down, but go listen to the last
episode so you can find out what I'm talking about
and just join up us on our journey as we
partake in a gratitude challenge to help reset, recenter, and
shift our mindset and get ready for spring peace, and
I'll see you next week. I can't see the things

(04:31):
that happens. Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome to hand me
my personal podcast. I am Mimi Walker, and I will
be your forever hosts each and every time you tune
into this podcast. So go ahead and get comfortable. Get
yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, whether that's pomegranate,
dragon fruit, sparkling water, a Moscow mule, or a Chai

(04:52):
t latte. Go light yourself a candle, some incense, or
burn some sage, and just get ready to chill out
and have a good time. Hey, friends and ken, it's
me me, Resident Auntie Supreme, here at handing my purse,

(05:13):
and today I am sipping on some tea and some
alkaline water. I'm getting very frustrated with myself and my
lack of efficient hydration choices, and they just simply have
to get better. I should be ashamed of myself, but
guess what I'm not. I'm not, but I should be.
I am sick and tired of my own self not

(05:36):
drinking enough water, and of course I drink water daily,
but to me, it's just not enough. I feel like
I should be drinking eighty to ninety six ounces of
water a day, and I sometimes don't even crack the
sixty four, the standard sixty four. Sometimes I make it
to like fifty, and I just feel like that's just

(05:57):
out of control. I am also drinking some tea. I'm
drinking some ash waganda tea, and this tea from a
brand that I'm not going to mention the brand, but
it's called get Burning. It's supposed to rev your metabolism up,
not in like an unhealthy way or a stimulant way,

(06:18):
because I think it just uses like herbs like cinnamon
or something. I don't know either way. I'm drinking some
tea and I added some apple cider or vinegar to
it and some honey, and I thought it was going
to be disgusting, but it's not. It's actually not even bad,
you know. I know my voice sounds a little weird.
It's allergy season for me, which is really all year

(06:40):
round because I have ridiculous allergies. I'm allergic to everything.
Surprised I'm not allergic to myself. I'm not Actually, yes,
I do have egzema. But either way, I've got to
get this hydration thing down and I've got to figure
it out. I got to get it under control, and
I want to know, well, if you guys have any

(07:01):
suggestions that do not require that I buy a new
water bottle, because God knows, I don't need a new
water bottle or a new cup or any kind of
new drinking vessel, although I'll probably get another one within
the next two to three weeks, because I absolutely have
an addiction to that. Nor do I want to download
any new apps because the latter absolutely doesn't work for me.

(07:24):
I don't care about an app. I don't care about
telling the app how many ounces of water I drink
a day. I don't need an accountability partner in the
form of an application on my cellular device. Okay, I
need to set a water goal and just stick to it.
If you have any suggestions on social media, share them

(07:46):
with me. Because CIS needs help. I am sis, SIS
is me and I need assistance with this. Help me, friends,
and can please what's it here? Friends? A came for
two days jam. I opted a four song called killing

(08:11):
Me and the song is by A band, one of
my favorite groups called Little Dragon, and I've been fans
of Little Dragon since their first few singles came out
in six two thousand and six. Their debut album was
fully released the following year, and it just had me
in a full fledged chokehold. I was still buying CDs

(08:31):
back then, and long gone are those days. I really
missed the days of having to go into a store
and buy music and looking for new music and taking
a risk and not knowing if it's gonna be good
or if it's gonna be whack, but taking the risk
and seeing what you come home with, seeing what you
come back with. I remember when all we had were

(08:52):
actual records, cassettes and CDs, like those days are long gone.
I miss those days. But anyway, let me read some
of the lyrics for the song killing Me for You.
It says, here time, hurry, heal my every wound, don't
burden me, leave me to symphonies. I'll make a masterpiece.

(09:20):
Oh babe, does eleven stup teble bab YEA yeah, I

(09:41):
save no longer with you. You've created a space. I'll
take my rocket ship and get the hell out of
this nothing that I'm gonna miss but You're Killing Me.
I loveble this song. I love Little Dragon period like period.
I've seen Little Dragon and Concert about four or five times,

(10:04):
and as I did the prep for this episode, I
realized that they're coming back to the States this fall,
and I think I'm gonna go see them. I'm gonna
put a link in the show notes for this song.
I'm gonna put a link in the show notes for
their Tiny Desk performance because I freaking love their music.
Their first album, which was self titled, was very soulful

(10:27):
and it hooked me hard. It hooked me hard. But
I think my favorite album is the album that this
song killing Me is on. That album is called Na
Boom of Rubber Band, and that is the album that,
like I said, that this song is on. It was
released in twenty fourteen. It's their fourth studio release. I
wasn't really crazy about the second or third album, but

(10:48):
they were still good. They just didn't make like my
top albums their recent Their most recent release is called
Slugs of Love, and I've listened to it. It's pretty,
it's pretty dope. Some of it a little early because
they released a few of the singles all at once
before they released the album and then I listened to
the entire thing. Actually, while I worked on this episode,

(11:11):
I'm actually gonna link another song. They perform it in
the Tiny Desk. But it is the song that I
think made me say, oh, this group is the shit.
I had no idea what they looked like, I had
no idea where they were from. I just knew that

(11:31):
they sounded amazing. And when I heard the song, it's
the song is called Forever. When I heard the song,
I thought that Missy Elliott was on the song, I
was like, this sounds like a Missy Elliott production, but
she was not. It's so it's so dope as a band, Like,
they're really top tier and I'm actually really excited to

(11:53):
share some of their music with you if you aren't
already familiar with them. I've met the lead singer ukemia
a couple times when i've seen them live. She has
a beautiful spirit. Not to mention, her voice is fucking ethereal,
like I've never heard a voice similar to this ever,
and I love that. I love when someone an artist.

(12:14):
Since we're talking about music, I'll keep it to music.
When an artist has an element that is unlike anything
that I've ever heard, and she definitely has a voice
that is very distinct. So do your felf, do your
felf work, Gettymark, do yourself and your felf, whoever your

(12:36):
felf is, do yourself a favor and go check them out.
Get into the music, play it if you are going
on a long drive, or while you commute, if you
have a long commute, or while you clean up, so
you can really just allow the music to just be
and you can absorb the music without judgment or without
controlling how you receive it. And if you like it,

(12:57):
let me know. I'm excited to hear what you think.
I love. One of my favorite things about this show
is sharing some of my favorite music with people. So
if you like it, let me know, and you can
let me know on the post on Instagram. I always
post on the day of my tune in Tuesday post.
Let me know under there, because if the song is
on Instagram, I will play the song underneath or behind

(13:21):
my words or however I'm describing the episode. So if
you like it, let me know. And if you can't
get to me there, send me an email, send me
a smoke signal, send me a morse code, send me
a DM just let me know what you think. I
want to know if you guys like it or not.

(13:52):
Ye Okay, today friends, I can We are going to
do a bit of a check in with us. Okay,
it's a self check in. It's the summertime, and I
got to say that I have been having a damn
blast and not because of anything too heavy, you know,

(14:15):
just making sure that I'm enjoying my life because my
grandmother transitioning and becoming an ancestor in January definitely has
had a serious, major impact on how I have been living. Okay,
I have realized that for the past two years or so,
since she became ill, that I've kind of just been

(14:36):
like existing, just going along, you know, not that I
was sad or miserable or whatever. I may have been
a litle depressed, but I had it under control. It
was me I was managing, but you know, just kind
of floating or like just kind of like on Autopoly,

(14:56):
just going not really submerged in the experience of life.
Be because of how I'm wired, you know, I still
manage to thrive and live a good life, a lovely life.
And that's the thing about surviving childhood trauma. If you
learn how to heal that broken childhood space within, then
you are equipped to handle the ups and downs of
life because you know that you can weather a storm.

(15:19):
You are resilient, You know you persevere beyond your understanding,
and you know you're strong and a warrior and blah
blah blah blah blah, all that good stuff. Now, don't
get me wrong, these are great qualities to have. These
are amazing qualities to have because you are strong, you
are resilient, you can persevere, you can make it through

(15:41):
tough times, and they're especially good for navigating life. Check
me out. Though I don't know about everybody else, but
sometimes I get tired of weathering all the storms, you
know what I mean? I get tired of being a
damn warrior princess who can take on anything, who can
handle all of the things that come her way. I

(16:03):
just fucking get tired of it. And I got hit
with an anvil earlier this year, reminding me that time
is not ours to have. Needless to say, you know,
I've kind of been fully focused this year on living
my life in full Well, Mimi, what does that really entail?

(16:24):
I don't fucking know. I don't know what it entails.
I'm kind of learning as I go along, because truthfully,
I thought I was doing that before. I thought that
I was always living my best life and you know,
all those clever, cliche things that you say, yolo and
living my best life. I ain't going back and forth
with you. You know what you know. But for the

(16:45):
past two years or so, I'm starting to question whether
or not I have been. But you know, that's the
tricky thing about healing. You think you got it all
figured out and that you're on the right track and
that you have arrived because I am healed and I
got it, and then boom, you realize you ain't got
shit figured out. Life starts life in and it hits

(17:08):
you with some unexpected shit for you to sit through
and find your way out of with grace, always with grace.
And then you realize, y'all, you don't know nothing at all.
You don't know nothing, how bullshit. The one thing that
I do know for sure is that there's only one
way to live, and that is in the moment. Focusing

(17:31):
on the past is really a waste of your time.
It's over and done. You can't do anything to correct
it or to change what has already went down. It's over.
You can take accountability for your role in things you know,
you can apologize if you need to, you can do
and the things that you need to do to kind

(17:52):
of self correct anything that you played a part in,
to correct or wrong. You can really try to make
right any malicious behavior or wrongdoings that you played a
part in. But to sit and stew and some shit
that has happened already, like it's pointless. And if you
feel the need to stew, baby, please go get a therapist.

(18:14):
And you knew it was coming, you knew I was
gonna say it. It's the answer to everything, as far
as I'm going to turn, because it can really lead
you back to finding or you know, reclaiming your true
authentic self. And if you've never known him or her
or them, them, him her or them being your true
authentic self, talk therapy will really guide you to learning

(18:38):
and figuring out exactly who that person is. Anyway, I
digress as usual, let's move forward, be coming or when
we become consumed with the future, that's another waste of time.
It's gonna happen, and you can shift and or control
the outcome kind of However, if you're focused on what's

(19:02):
gonna happen tomorrow, next week, next month, a year, five year,
or ten years, you're gonna lose yourself, and you're gonna
lose time, and you're gonna lose this moment. You won't
be able to fully truly engulf yourself in the magic
of right now, because every moment is magic. Right now,
Boom magic, Hila, right now, boom magic. Oh, what's happening?

(19:23):
You feel it? Right now? Look at that magic. And
I know about this because this has been a major
theme in my healing journey. I have themes in my
healing journey. I'm not gonna talk about them right now,
but if you listen to the show like you should
be able to figure out what most of them are. Oftentimes,

(19:43):
when we grow up with a lot of chaos or
in situations where our lives are unstable, especially early on
in our lives, we get in the habit of becoming
consumed with the future because we want to control it.
People with chaos trauma tend to always want to be
in control of, at least the very least their own lives,

(20:04):
so much that they don't get to truly live their
lives in the moment that the lives are happening right,
And it's nothing short of a defense mechanism, and it's
technically a form of anxiety, and it makes a lot
of sense. You know, you've lived your earlier years in
life surrounded by chaos and instability. Therefore, as an adult,

(20:26):
when you do have more power and more dominion over
your life, you want to have as much structure and
assumed control as possible. It makes total sense to me.
Of course, it makes sense to me because it's part
of an issue that I have. And it makes sense
to me because you know, this was my life, this
is my existence, and I'm speaking about what I know

(20:50):
because I did it and sometimes I still do it because,
like I said, you know, like we're all trying to
figure this shit out, you know what I mean, everybody's
just trying to figure it out. And that's real talk.
Everybody trusts trying to navigate this shit the best way
they can. Because life is not easy. It's not it's not.
But you know, there are ways to make it less

(21:14):
difficult if you will. I don't know if there's a
way to make life easy, but there's definitely ways to
make life less difficult, That's it. And so I feel
like through therapy at least I have learned, and I
learned it slowly and surely and truthfully, because honey, I'm
still learning. I'm still fucking shit up. I'm still making

(21:34):
bad choices and I forever will because it's a journey.
I always talk about healing is a journey. It's not
really like a destination. It's kind of a journey that
you'll be on as long as you're on this earth,
in this life time anyway. But I'm still learning that
there's power and there's freedom in uncertainty. There's a freedom

(21:56):
in not knowing what's going to happen. And if you're
really one who believes in a higher power than yourself,
you possibly have an understanding of what true faith is.
And I say possibly because everyone doesn't really get it.
Faith is by definition, complete trust or confidence in someone, something,

(22:19):
or a concept. So if you have complete trust and
confidence in your higher power or higher powers, whatever he
she it they are, how is it that you really
think you're in control of anything at all? How bushit?
This was really really a hard conversation for me to

(22:41):
have with my therapist, and a really difficult concept for
me to grasp and I still struggle with it because
security and stability feel really really really good to me,
Like I like it a lot. Oh yeah, And of
course they feel good to me. Duh. That is logical,
and it's based on my lived experience. Is like, of

(23:03):
course I would really enjoy it when I know what's
going to happen, and you know, I have some control
over it and their structure and there's an agenda and
there's a plan and I can see the finish line
or I know what the outcome should be and I
have a goal. Of course I like that because I
know the stress, the anxiety and that overwhelming feeling that

(23:27):
chaos trauma leaves you with. It leaves you bound, and
you're so tightly bound because it's like, oh my god,
I don't know what's going to happen, and I don't
know if I'm going to make it out of what happens.
I don't know if I have what it takes to
navigate what happens? Am I going to survive what happens?
And you get wrapped up in that and that's not
really healthy, excuse me, nor is it helpful. And you

(23:51):
know there's no true freedom in trying to have complete
dominion over every aspect of your life. There's no freedom
at all in that. And like I said, you end
up bound to your own fallacy. You're bound to this
narrative in your brain that you are actually controlling something,
or that you have the power to control outcomes without fail.

(24:15):
And you got to know that you ultimately do not
control outcomes. You do have some control over some simple things. Right.
If you get up and you want to wear blue
shoes today and you have blue shoes, you have the
control to get up and put the blue shoes on.

(24:36):
You have control if you don't have blue shoes, to
look online or go to stores and locate blue shoes.
But you don't have control over whether or not there
are any blue shoes left in your size of the
style that you like. You don't have control over then.
But you do have control over getting some kind of
blue shoe, or if you have blue shoes already wearing them.

(25:00):
You get what I'm saying. You get what I'm saying
other stuff, I hope, y'all. I'm pretty sure you do.
It's interesting to me that many of us become so
consumed and engulfed in trying to shift the outcomes or
change what we may need to experience that we forget
about right now, And I said, change what we may

(25:24):
need to experience, because sometimes, all right, let's go to church,
all right, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sometimes I believe that God
or whoever it is that is your higher power, whether
it be God, Buddha, a lah Krishna, your ancestors, whatever
it is, the plant that's by your window, whatever it is,

(25:48):
because I don't judge, it's not my place, right. I
feel like sometimes we forget that there are certain things
that we need to experience because it helps to build
form and further create who we need to become for
the next phase of our life. Right If you try

(26:09):
to control all of that, you may not get to
where you need to be, or may not become who
you need to be for the next stage that's already
planned for you by your higher power. Why are you
trying to be at war with the higher power? Let
the higher power higher power, let the higher power do
their job, let them do they work, and you just

(26:31):
focus on living in the right now and experiencing what
the higher power has given you right now. Because honestly
not doing that. To me, it just came to me
like it's a form. It's like anti gratitude, you know
what I mean. If you are focused on where you
are now, you you should be focused on being so

(26:54):
grateful for where you are right now, what you have.
And I'm preaching to myself Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, you should
be so focused on what you have today and where
you are today and what you have right now that
you ain't even worried about tomorrow or the next day
or the next day because you know that your higher
power is going to take care of you regardless. Okay,

(27:15):
but sometimes we want to play God or Christian or
Buda or Allah or your ancestors or the water or
the plant by the window. And that's not what having
faith is about. And that's not what gratitude is about.
That's not living in a space of authentic gratitude. Everybody
want to say that they're grateful all the time and
they got gratitude. Do you though, do you are you

(27:37):
really grateful? Are you really sitting in gratitude? Really? Anyway?
Like I said, we sometimes need to go through certain

(28:01):
experiences and we get so focused on trying to control
what's going on that we forget about now and we
look up and we have spent countless minutes, hours, days, weeks,
months and years focused on controlling the future and yes
a future of future, the future, our future, and we
never really took the time out to enjoy the life

(28:23):
that we are living right now. I can really talk
about this all day because my therapist and I I
love that lady God of Mercy, she's the best. Shout
out to my therapist. Shout out to my therapist. And
so I brought her up because it's what I do.
But I really brought her up because, like I said,
this is a major theme for me and my healing journey,

(28:46):
and my therapists and I have done a lot of
work to get And you notice how I said, my
therapist and I have done a lot of work. Because
if you're in therapy and you and your therapists are
not working together in conjunction to do the work get
a new thing. Therapists, you in the wrong place, My guy,
you in the wrong place, because this ain't how it worked.

(29:06):
It don't work like that. The too of y'all gotta
work together. Don't get me wrong. You are doing most
of the work. You are doing all of the healing
work on you and within you. But y'all got to
work together to get to the place where you even
understand why doing this work is important, how to do
the work, and they are there to support you. It's

(29:27):
like learning how to ride a bike, and it makes
me think of how my grandmother used to hold me
on the back of the bike all the time, up
and down the street with the training wheels on because
I was scared. But once again, chaos trauma. I didn't
like the feeling of not feeling secure right. But anyway,
like I said, my therapist and I have done a

(29:50):
considerable amount of work to get me to a place
where I've started to shift my own thinking around controlling outcomes.
And you know, hopefully I can have her come on
the show The Future again and we can talk about this.
She's been on the show many times before. Actually do
yourself a favor and go back and listen to the
episodes wherein my therapist was a guest. I think it's

(30:11):
about three of them, and I will link them all
in the show notes so that you have easy access.
They're really, really, really awesome episodes. But like I said,
we've worked really hard to get me to the place
where I even recognized that I was not living in
the moment. I was either hung up on something that
already happened or focused real hard, real hard on what

(30:37):
was about to happen, and oftentimes I would create scenarios
in my mind before it even happened. Oh my goodness,
my poor cousin, lindsay, I'll never forget. We were in
the car one time I was dating this guy. You know,
I was a little hormonal, I had PMS, and I
was just crying and crying about the scenario that I

(31:00):
had created in my head about this guy. And she
was looking at me and she was like, Mimi, you
gotta chill out. And I was like, oh, wait a minute,
I do need to chill out. But I would create
these scenarios and these narratives about what could happen and
what would happen instead of just focusing on what was

(31:20):
actually happening. And I would try to control everything. And
it was so dumb. What in the world is that?
I don't know what it was, but I don't do
it anymore. Well a little bit, I do know what
it was. Actually it was operating from a lens of trauma.
That's what it is. It's nothing short of that. It's

(31:43):
just operating from a space of chaos trauma, from the
lens of chaos trauma. And the way that I've started
to overcome that aspect of my own trauma is meditation.
Meditation definitely helps. And let me tell you something. I
people say, oh, I can't meditate. Listen, Yes you can,

(32:05):
because if I can do it, baby, you can do it.
My mind is literally I am literally dory from finding Nemo,
literally that character. Somehow they managed to fashion it after me.
So if I can meditate for like fifteen to twenty minutes,

(32:29):
you can figure it out. But you know what, it
takes practice. You got to practice it. It's just like
anything and everything that people get good at. Serena Williams
didn't get so good by not practicing. She's been practicing
for years since she was I want to say they
were nine when they started playing tennis. Michael Jordan didn't
get that good. Lebron James didn't get that good. Flo

(32:52):
Joe didn't get that good. That's not how it works.
Arthur Ash didn't get that good. You gotta practice the
thing that you want to excel at, and so I
can do about fifteen to twenty minutes. One time, I
think I did it for twenty two minutes. And somebody
told me. And it's funny. The person who told me this,

(33:17):
he can go to hell. Quite frankly, you go to hell.
He can kiss my ass at the same time. Actually
he can kiss my ass first and then go to hell.
But that's neither here nor there. He told me that meditation.
He said, it's not about how long you do it.
It's just about doing it. So and he was right.
It's just about starting it doing it, and there's no

(33:39):
way to mess it up, like if you drift off.
Because most people say they can't get their mind to
be still. If I can get this brain to be
still and clear, you can do the same thing. But
it takes practice. You got to start. You got to
figure out how you know, how best you navigate that.

(34:00):
I can talk about how I did it and it
may be helpful for you. And if that's something that
you guys are interested in, just let me know. You know,
you know how to find me because I tell you
every every episode, I tell you how to find me.
Tell me and I'll talk about like my how I
navigated my meditation practice. But you can figure it out.

(34:21):
You need to stop overthinking and overprocessing information that you
take in and see things just at face value. Don't
put any additional value onto things. Things are just as
they are. And when I say things, I mean tangible things,
I mean relationships, I mean the things that people say
to you, the things that people do to you. Another
thing is understanding that things that happen happen, they don't

(34:46):
happen to you. People don't do things to you. People
just do things. Get it. Some people cannot process outside
of their own mind. Everything is not about you, you, okay. So,
and if you live in the moment, you understand that

(35:06):
whatever may have happened, or whatever someone may have done,
that happened in the past, and we're gonna be right
here because it's not still happening. And if it is
still happening, we need to figure out how we're gonna
get out of whatever that is right. If it's not,
if it does not serve you, things are as they are,

(35:28):
and we have to learn to accept things more. You know,
we don't want to accept shit. We want to just
we it goes back to you wanting to be in control. No,
because I can change this, I can alter it, I
can fix it. No, you can't. Now, that does not
mean that you are just supposed to lie down and

(35:49):
let life happen around you without taking any initiative to
be great. That's not what I'm saying. That's not the wave,
that's not a look, that's not what we're doing. I mean,
you have to simply practice acceptance, accepting that certain things
I don't control, certain things have happened. Okay, moving on.

(36:10):
Let me go on with my life and not stay
stuck in this thing that has happened. That's it. I
was kind of surprised, actually, when I learned that yoga
is also a very helpful way for you to get
connected to the present and to stay in the moment.
And the biggest reason is certainly the focus on your breath.
I'm a big advocate for breath work, big advocate. I

(36:31):
remember being in my early twenties and like trying a
cigarette for the first time and thinking, well, not for
the first time, trying to hold cigarette for the first time,
I should say, and thinking, I understand why people smoke cigarettes.
I don't know why they smoke them on a regular
basis because they are disgusting. And that's not me judging

(36:54):
people who smoke cigarettes. If any of you smoke one,
I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, so that would be a problem,
a big problem. That's a yes, it is. But in
addition to that, I understood it because I understood the
drag of the puff, the puffing, and then the release.

(37:16):
All that is is just inhaling, pausing, exhaling, pausing, inhaling,
pausing and friends, that's breath work. It's breath work pulling
poison into your lungs. Of course it's not healthy, but
it is still control breath, control, breathing. I'm a big

(37:37):
advocate of breath work. It can help you calm your
asthma down if you're having an asthma attack or if
you're out of breath. Breath work is a technique that
can help you with all kind of not just mental
health issues, but also physical health issues. Anyway, I'm digressing,
and I definitely do not want to do that. Let's

(37:58):
move forward. AnyWho. When we focus our attention on our breath,
we have no choice but to be in the present,
because you can't breathe for yesterday, and you can't breathe
for next week either. And you know I've read on
Mariah Carey's interwebs the following information. Listen up to bring
yourself back into the present. In a moment of stress

(38:18):
or when you're feeling overwhelmed by the past or future,
you can try this breathing exercise. Now. Listen good, you guys,
because I'm about to give you a breathing exercise that
you can do. First thing you want to do is
breathe in and say to yourself, I am breathing in. Right.
Then you breathe out, saying I am breathing out. On

(38:41):
your next circle of breath or the next cycle, try
saying to yourself, I am here, and this is now.
All right, let's do it ready, I am breathing in,
I am breathing out, I am here, this is now.

(39:09):
And then you just want to lather rints and repeat.
Just do it over and over and over. It's just
like what I said before about meditation and or mindfulness.
The thing about breath work or any other mindfulness practice
is to just do that practice it. You have to
continually and consistently do it to experience the results. Another

(39:31):
great affirmation. I read that you could say to yourself
when you recognize that you are obsessing about the past
or the future, is write this down. I'm gonna give
you time to get yourself a pen or a paper,
all right. What you want to say is I am
present and aware of this moment. It is full and

(39:53):
it is great, and you just repeat it over and over,
over and over untill your mind is on something else,
or even if your even your mind eventually becoming like clear.
For the first time ever, my mind became clear. I've
never experienced a moment in my life, in my waking life,

(40:17):
where my mind was like blank. I'm always having thoughts, daydreams,
movies and films are always playing in my head. Something's
always going on. But I recently had some acupuncture done
and my mind like went blank. I had acupuncture and
some energy healing work done. Yes I am a certified

(40:43):
black hippie other stuff. But I had it done, and
while I had it done, while I was having it done,
my mind like went blank, like it was nothing in there.
It was the wildest shit I've ever experienced in my
life because I've never experienced that, and I was trying.
I was actually trying to think about something and I
could not. It was amazing. It was amazing. It was

(41:08):
like it was clearing the slate almost, And then after
that I started having these weird visions. But whatever, that's
neither here nor there Again, what you want to say?
One more time, I'm saying it to you again, just
in case you didn't get it. I am present and
aware of this moment. It is full and it is great.
And just keep repeating it, keep repeating it. I am

(41:30):
present and aware of this moment. It is full and
it is great. I am present and aware of this moment.
It is full and it is great. And just say
it over and over. You'll be surprised how repeating affirmations
and mantras over and over can be extremely helpful and
shifting your thought process. Remember always that our thoughts become things,

(41:51):
and that's just how the universe works. That's just how
God works, christ Na Allah, whatever you believe, that's just
how it works. You say it, you say it, you
say it, you say it, you say it, and then
magically it appears or it happens. And if you think
it and you say it enough, it's highly likely there's
going to be a shift in how you think and
how you process. Eventually, it does not happen overnight, Okay,

(42:16):
it doesn't. It takes some time. Another tip for me
personally is to find a channel on television or online

(42:39):
that has scenery, like nature scenes or like the sky
at night. My therapist shout out to my therapist. My
therapist used to have me early on fire gaze, and I,
personally I can't talk today. I personally also like to

(43:02):
water gaze, like I love to stare at water, moving water.
It really helps to calm like my spear down. But
she used to have me fire gaze, and sometimes I
like the cloud gaze too. On a clear sunny day.
It's really fun and it feels really good. It makes
me happy for some reason. That kind of makes me joyful.

(43:23):
You know, when the clouds are like big and fluffy
and white. I like it. But basically, what you're doing
is you are intentionally distracting yourself or intentionally trying to
clear your mind space, trying to ease up like the
rapid fire brain work happening in your head at that moment.
It's the act of staring at something until your mind

(43:45):
starts to get clear and less flooded with obsessive thoughts
and the shit works. Okay, trust me, And I found
these techniques that I'm actually about to share with you
to help you stay in the present and get focused
on your awareness of the present as well. And these
are some other tips that can help you. So go,
get a piece of paper and a pen or something

(44:07):
for you to write with. Okay, all right, let's go one,
do a mindful body scan. Doing a body scan is
a great way for you to just take report, take report,
excuse me, take note of like what's happening in your body. Okay,

(44:31):
And it's great to do in the moment and immediately
get some quick results and quick feedback from your body
about where you are. And all that is. All you
have to do is just be still and focus all
of your intention. That's what they say. And the mindfulness
the guided meditations focus all of your intention on the

(44:54):
top of your head, but you focus all of your
attention and your on each part of your body, and
you just go down. You can go from bottom to
top if you like, or you can go from top
to bottom, but don't just be all over the place
and focus on your head and what it feels like.

(45:15):
Then you focus on the back of your skull, what
does it feel like? Focus on your forehead, what does
it feel like? Focus on your face, Focus on your ears,
the back of your neck, your shoulders, your spine, your
lower back, your chest, your arms, your hands, and just
go all the way down to the feet. By the

(45:36):
time you get to your foot or your feet, you'll notice,
you know, if something feels off. It's also a great
way realistically, it's good to do them on a regular
basis because you can start to notice if something is
off in your body. It may help you to notice
something before your doctor does. If you notice something and

(45:58):
then you're like, for three days straight, I notice that
the left side of my neck feels warm and it
feels like it's throbbing. Hey, let me make note of that.
So it's good to do mindful body scans to get
like an immediate quick result to bring you back to
your center or to the present. To write in a journal.

(46:23):
This could be really helpful if you build it in
as a routine. Also, journaling is a great way to
follow your progress by reading what you may have previously written.
It's awesome. I prefer to write and then like maybe
in a year, two years, five years. I'll go back
and look at my journal, and it's a really great

(46:45):
way to just see the progress that you make, you
know what I mean, just to see how you've grown.
And then in those moments, in those moments, excuse me,
you get I know, for me, I feel intense pride.
Sometimes you get sad because it's like, whoa, I was
really going through a lot. But then it's like, shit,

(47:07):
I made it out of it. I'm a g that's
that gangster shit. I made it out of this. I'm
reading this. This happened two years ago, and here I
am two years later, still standing, knocking shit down, winning.
So that's a great practice. Three. Visualize your daily goals,

(47:28):
just like doing a body skin. This is an amazing
thing for daydreamers or for everybody, but daydreamers like myself
will appreciate the concept of taking some time out to
just visit. I'm having a hard time speaking today. I
don't know what's going on, and it's really really really
starting to upset me. Okay, we not gonna have you

(47:51):
stop me today from delivering this message to the people. Okay,
I got something to say and I wanted to come
out all right, it's the enemy trying to stop us
from being successful. No, you won't Jesus, Jesus, Jesus AnyWho.
Everybody can do this, but daydreamers will appreciate the concept

(48:12):
of taking time out to like really think about and
visualize what it is you want. You can make this
as intricate or as simplistic as you choose, because you're
driving the bus. After all, they are your goals. They
are your daily goals. And the best part about it
is that you can do it anywhere. You can do
when you're driving. For me, I do my best sorting

(48:34):
and compartmentalizing of my thoughts in the shower in the morning.
I actually unintentionally do this exact thing every single day,
like I just get in. I don't do it on purpose.
It just happens. And it's a small but effective way
to process and prepare your thoughts around the things you
might want to tackle each day. Like you just process,

(48:55):
It's like a notes app or a reminder app in
your brain for the day, for every day. And lastly,
number four, get out in nature take a mindful nature walk.
We all know the effects of being in nature and
letting your skin touch the elements and if you don't know,
I talk about it from time to time. It's a

(49:16):
great way to connect to For me, it's a great
way to connect to God because God is nature, right.
God is the water at the beach. God is the
sand at the beach. God is the wind when you're
driving and you roll your window down. God is the
sun beaming down on your skin. God is the earth
underneath your feet. That is a great way to reconnect.

(49:41):
Backed backed, I swear to Goodness like this is out
of control, dude, like this, What in the world is that.
I don't know what it is, but I don't like it.
That's what I don't I want it to stop. But
look at this, I don't have any control over because

(50:01):
that's what's coming out of my mouth. I'm gonna leave
it the way it is, and I could edit it out,
but you know what the truth of the matter is.
If I'm talking about stand present in the moment, like
I have an energy, something is going on and I
want to get this out and I want to get
this to you. And if I had to stop and
edit it every five minutes, like it's gonna throw me

(50:23):
off course. And I want to get this. I want
to get it out of me. I want to say
it right back to what I was saying. Okay, I
will not allow this to stop me. Let's move forward.
It's a great way to reconnect back to the earth
and to that which we do not control, because we

(50:44):
don't control the elements at all. So try it sometimes.
It could be a five minute walk and it could
be very very helpful for you to get you to
just focus on where you are, what you are, and
who you are in this very moment right now. So
try it out now. Of course, I'm going to say

(51:11):
this one more time before I wrap the segment up.
You can do all of these things. They are supportive,
They're like supporting actors in a big film or big
TV show. They are helpful. They are your side dishes
at Thanksgiving right. But the best piece of advice I
could give anyone is to seek out professional help. In

(51:35):
the show notes, there's a link to find a personal
counselor or therapist so that you can get to the
root of why you navigate the way that you do. Okay,
Then once you get to the why, you can hit
the what, the who, the where, the when, and how,
especially the how how can I actively work toward healing

(51:58):
this piece of myself. How do I work on being
my best self every day? How do I navigate life
when I'm not being my best self? If you don't
get go get a therapist. Job, go, get a therapist,
go ahead. Which is scared of healing is ugly. I
say it all the time. Healing is ugly. Healing is hard,

(52:22):
It is not fun. It is really hard, hard, hard work.
And just having a therapist is not enough. Because see
some people they just get a therapist, they go to therapy,
and they think that that's it. No, no, no, no,
no no. You get a therapist, you build a mindfulness practice,

(52:42):
You meditate, you exercise, you drink tea at night, you journal,
you find a support group, you get a hobby, you
spend time alone, You start writing poetry, you pain, you
get into plants, you learn about skincare. Like, you have

(53:06):
to do more than just get the therapist. But the
therapist will guide you based on who you are. That's
another thing. The therapist is there to guide you based
on who you are. Some people think that you know,
I remember somebody told me I was talking to them
about something I was dealing with, like maybe two years ago,

(53:27):
and they said, well, doesn't your therapist have you journaling?
And I was like, no, actually, we don't do that.
And then she was like, well, doesn't I think your
therapist needs to give you homework? And I was like,
I don't. We don't do that. That's not how it
works with me and my therapist because that's I don't.
I'm not as receptive to that form of therapy. I

(53:50):
don't need to go do no homework because when I
come into therapy, I'm balls to the wall, I'm ready,
I'm telling her everything. I'm working through things in the session.
You know, I usually don't have to go and process
things and bring them back, go and process things and
write them down, because I'm processing them in that moment,
in that session, because my brain is like, but so

(54:14):
I don't. I don't. That doesn't work with me, but
it may be helpful for you, because everybody does not
process information in the same way. But healing is ugly
and it's a lot of work. But I swear, and
I you know, I don't usually say this, but I
swear to God, I swear to you. I promise you
one gazillion, tri billion percent that the reward is worth

(54:37):
the risk because I get that therapy is scary. I
get that people would be afraid because of the stigma, because,
especially in our community, only crazy people go to therapy. Well,
God damn, I'm crazy then because I go, I go.
And that's just simply not true. Or I can fix it,

(54:57):
or I'm gonna just give it to God, or I'm
a just you know, direct my attention to something else,
or I'm gona just focus on my kids. I'm just
focus on my marriage. No, motherfucker, focus on you. How
about that. That's the problem. You so focused on everything else.
Focus on you and getting you together. Get your shit together,
get you right. Then you can be a better mother.

(55:21):
You can be a better friend. You can be a
better sister, a better aunt, a better cousin, a better father,
a better grandfather, a better grandmother, a better wife, a
better husband, a better teacher, a better checkout person at Walmart,
whatever it is, a better person on the fries, whatever
it is you do, a better Amazon driver, whatever it
is you do. Focus on you. Get you together first,

(55:46):
and then you can be better for the people around you.
I promise you, the reward is so worth the risk.
I absolutely promise I love y'all. All right for today's

(56:19):
straight Fact segment. It is a question or I have
a question or we have a question, because we in
this together. It's us. We is together and you spell
together da ge va together. The question says, how do
you know when it is time to walk away from

(56:40):
a friend? Ooh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I have a
friend that is exhausting. She is a whiner and always
complaining about something. She's a bit selfish and only thinks
of herself or how she benefits from something. I'm at
a point in my life life where I only want

(57:01):
people in my life that bring me joy. Child. I'll
get it, honey, I get it. But anyway, I digress.
We have been friends for decades. Is it okay to
walk away? Limit my time with her or cut her off, etc.
Do I need to give her a reason for my
decision to keep her at a distance? And this is

(57:22):
from Joyce and Joyce is writing us from Jasper, Texas. Joyce,
you know, Joyce, I know a little bit about this.
I have been in this position a few times and
I actually have to stop and ask myself at one point,

(57:43):
like what the fuck is wrong with you? Is it you? Like?
Is it me? Am? I the drama? And then I
just had to stop and think that you know, you know,
like your intuition tells you what you need to know.
That your intuition is a gift. I think I said

(58:05):
this either the last episode or two episodes ago. It's
a gift from God where God is just whispering to you. Now,
whether you decide to listen to the whispers or not,
that's on you. But it's a gift. It's a gift
of insight, right you know whether or not it's time

(58:26):
to walk away from this friend. Sometimes you don't know
if it's time or not, and you are put in
this position where it's like I don't know what to do,
but it is you can't see me, but I'm taking
my classes off. Actually it is really difficult to do.

(58:48):
So if you don't know how to put your big
girl panties on, you may not be ready to do
it because it's difficult and it's a really, really really
it hurts right because it's like you are grieving a relationship.

(59:09):
It's like a death because it's the death of a relationship,
it's the death of a friendship and you said, you
guys have been friends for decades. That shit hurts, man,
And it happened to me a few years ago, and
I still am sad about it. I still sometimes miss
my friend. I still grieve the loss of our relationship.

(59:35):
But like certain circumstances took place that just let me know,
like that, you know, certain things have happened that just
make me feel like we can't really come back from that,
you know. And so if I am a firm believer
that kind of like what you said, Like in my life,

(01:00:00):
I only want people who you said, let me read
what you said. I'm at a point in my life
where I only want people in my life that bring
me joy for me, I only want people in my
life that add to the value of my life. And
I don't mean that in like a selfish way, but
I mean that in a way like if you are
only here to take. And sometimes it's not a conscious taking,

(01:00:26):
it's a subconscious taking, you know what I mean. Sometimes
it's not malicious, you know what I mean. Sometimes when
friendships and it's not because one person is bad or
the other person is bad, it just means that we
are no longer as good together as we may have
been before, and that's any relationship. And so it really

(01:00:52):
is just based on what you are willing to deal with, right,
Because certain things for certain people are just deal breakers
for me, betrayal for me when a friend breaks my heart,
Like I can't do that because like I'm already deal

(01:01:12):
You know, you out here, you dealing with dudes or
women or whatever it is that you deal with people,
deal within relationships, whatever it is, whoever it is, Like,
I don't really care what other people deal with I'm
talking about. For me, I'm out here dealing with dudes.
You know, men are going to break your heart. Like
in romantic relationships, hearts will be broken, right, Feelings will

(01:01:33):
get hurt. I don't want friendships where my friends break
my heart. I put a lot of stock into my
friendships my friends. My friends are people that I have
chosen to be my family. I do not want you
to break my heart. I feel like my friends are
my safe space, Like I don't really have to worry

(01:01:54):
about that with them. So I think that it's really
just about you deciding, like how much more of it
are you willing to take? Another question I have is
have you had a conversation with her about it now.
Some people say, you know, you need to tell them.

(01:02:16):
Some people you just can't talk to. And if she's
been your friend for decades, you know her very well.
You know whether or not she's the kind of person
you can sit down and have a conversation with. You
know whether or not she's the kind of person that
takes accountability for her behavior or her actions. And some
grown people just ain't got that. Unfortunately, some grown people

(01:02:36):
are not emotionally mature enough to handle accountability. Those are
not the kind of people I want around me because
I don't have time to navigate accountability for my actions
and accountability for your actions. Ain't nobody got time for that? Nope,
I mean I just just, quite frankly, I don't. I
just don't have time for it. So exactly, so, I

(01:03:01):
think that you know, I can't tell you whether or
not it's okay to walk away from her, or limit
your time with her, or cut her off. What I
will say is that you know if it's okay, and
you know, if it's what you want to do, do
what you want to do, and don't do what you
don't want to do. Maybe something that you can start

(01:03:26):
doing is just limiting your time like you already got it,
limit my time with her. I've had to do this
with a friend. I didn't cut her off. I just
cut her back. I'm gonna tell you something that I hate.
I don't like grown I don't like temper tantrums at all.
When kids do that. When kids have temper tantrums, it

(01:03:46):
drives me knucking futs. It gets on my nerves. I
do not like it. But they're kids. Adults throw in
temper tantrums. Oh no, Mimi can't do that. I can't
do Adults throw on temper tantrums. Grow up and use
your words. So I've had to cut some friends back,

(01:04:07):
and I've had to cut some friends off. Maybe if
you're not sure, and if you're that aware of it,
and it seems like it's brewing, you know my most
of the time in cases with me, it was a
sharp thing that happened. It was just like boom right,
and I have to like think on the fly and move.

(01:04:28):
But it seems like this is something that you've been
like brewing in and or like stewing in. Excuse me,
So just limit your time, cut her back, don't cut
her off, cut her back and see what happens, and
maybe you know, you never know, she may be emotionally
immature and emotionally mature enough to say, hey, I notice

(01:04:49):
you've been acting kind of weird lately. You know, I
haven't been talking to you as much. I haven't been.
And if she breaches the topic, or broaches the topic,
whatever the hell the word is, if she brings it up,
then maybe have the conversation with her, if you think
she'll be receptive to the conversation, and you can say,
you know, I got to be really honest with you sometimes,
you know, you wine and complain a lot, and it

(01:05:12):
brings down my vibe, it changes my energy. I don't
want to be around that because I want to live
in a space of gratitude. I want to be grateful
for this moment, for everything that I have, because I
feel like I'm blessed or I feel like I am
privileged to have the things that I have, including our friendship.
But you whine and complain so much it makes me uneasy.

(01:05:34):
I don't like it, and I don't like to be
around it because maybe nobody ever told her. And if
you don't want to do that, well you always got
the option to cut her off. But I will say this,
you cut people off, you have to grieve the loss
of the relationship. And I will tell you the shit
is not easy. It is heavy. I still to this

(01:05:55):
day grieve the loss of a friend that it's been
It's been almost four years and we were friends for
a long, a long ass time before we could spell
the word friend, we were friends. I still grieve the
loss of that friendship to this day. I get sad
about it, sometimes even cry about it because I miss her.

(01:06:20):
But the chips have fallen where they may. So when
it comes to giving her a reason for your decision,
that's on you. You ain't got to do nothing you
don't want to do. I ain't gonna never tell somebody
you need to do something. Hell no, do you want
to do it? Do you want to give her a reason?

(01:06:42):
If you want to give her a reason, you can.
But like I said, cut her back and then see
what happens. And if she notices, truth be told based
on what you're saying. If she's selfish, she may not
even notice that you're cutting her back unless she's not
benefiting from your friendship. And then you can talk to

(01:07:05):
her about it. If you choose to don't give me
the line telling you what to do won't be me.
Do whatever you want this. Thanks for writing and Joyce.
I hope everything works out friends. For today's we got
to do better segments. Sometimes I worry that I am

(01:07:27):
recycling quotes and not necessarily jams, but quotes and stuff.
And then I thought about the fact that you know,
being present, everything is as it should be, and if
that means that it's coming back or I'm recycling it
subconsciously or unintentionally, that means that I need to say

(01:07:51):
it again and somebody else that may not have heard
it on another episode needs to hear it. I don't
think that I have. I know I've definitely shared quotes
from this person before, but I don't know if it's
this one. But anyway, today's quote comes from one of
our aunties, powerful Auntie Audrey Lord, and she says, once

(01:08:16):
we recognize what it is we are feeling, once we
recognize that we can feel deeply, love deeply, and can
feel joy, then we will demand that all parts of
our lives produce that kind of joy. Come on, now,
come on now. Once we recognize what it is that

(01:08:40):
we are feeling, so Boom. First get into it and
figure out what it is. Then, she says, once we
recognize that we can feel deeply, love deeply and feel joy.
So then we recognize, wait a minute, I got the
deep feels, I got the deep love, and I'm full
of joy. And we tap into how we navigate and

(01:09:03):
how we feel when we are feeling the deep the
deep love, the deep happiness, the deep feelings, and the
intense joy. When you realize how life looks and what
life looks like, and what you look like, and what
you feel like, what you sound like, what you exude,

(01:09:24):
when you are in that space of deep feelings and
deep love and feeling intense joy, you will start to
demand that every aspect of your life is that way.
It's just like what Joy's just said. I'm in a
space now where I only want people in my life
to bring me joy Boom, because the truth of the

(01:09:46):
matter is that that is our birthright. Joy, happiness, love, peace,
Those things are our birthright. So if that ain't in
whatever you in, then you need to get out of it.
Quite simply, I'm going to read it one more time.
Once we recognize what it is we are feeling, once

(01:10:07):
we recognize that we can feel deeply loved, deeply and
can feel joy, then we will demand that all parts
of our lives produce that kind of joy. Thank you
to Auntie Audrey Lord. The first thing that I want

(01:10:36):
to do is say thank you to God first, because
God is supreme and I recognize and appreciate the grace
and mercy that God extends to me every single day
of my black ass life. I want to say thank
you to my people. I want to say thank you
to each and every one of you that's been rocking
with me since day one, ever since March the first

(01:10:56):
of twenty twenty. Thank you, thank you, thank you, truly
appreciate you for being here. And even if you just
started listening today, even if you just started listening last week,
even if you just started listening on June the thirteenth,
I want to say thank you because I'm grateful. I'm
thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my friends, my

(01:11:19):
friends and ken, all of my supporters, and of course,
most importantly, I want to thank all of you out
there listening. I love you guys so much, and it
is such an honor and a privilege for me to
share my time and my energy with you, especially if
you keep coming back to spend the time with me.

(01:11:40):
I look forward to the next time that we get
to do this with one another, and we all know
that will be next Tuesday. Now, before you exit out
of whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this,
stop for a second, and if you haven't already done so,
look for the subscriber follow button. Click on it if
that's an option on the streaming service where you're listening. Next,

(01:12:03):
I want you to head on over to Instagram and
follow me at hand Me My Purse Underscore Podcast. Also,
there's a new thing, guys. There's a new thing called Threads,
which is basically Marcus Zuckerberg capitalizing on more money and
them capturing more of our data. But it's fun. It's
like Twitter for Instagram users. And if you look at

(01:12:26):
my Instagram bio you'll see my threads button. It looks
like a little swirly curly cue. Click on it and
follow me on Threads. If you don't already have Threads,
download it. It's tote's fun. Also, follow me on Twitter
at HMMP Underscore podcast. That's HMMP as in hand Me
My Purse, underscore podcast and on Facebook. Shout out to

(01:12:47):
my Facebook followers. Just search hand Me my Purse podcast.
If you listen on a streaming service or a streaming
medium that allows you to do so, please take two
minutes out to rate and review the show. Sometimes it
doesn't even take two minutes. Or give it a thumbs
up or thumbs down if that's how you feel. But

(01:13:08):
hopefully you don't feel that way because I don't make
this show or produce or execute or whatever you want
to use. I don't do this for thumbsdowns. I do
this to be effective and to be helpful and supportive
and to be a voice. So hopefully you don't hate it.

(01:13:28):
But if you do, that's fine. And if you really
feel the need to share with me that you hate it,
go ahead and do so anyway, friends and can be
sure to share hand Me My Purse with your friends,
your loved ones, and even the people that you don't like,
because the best way for people to find out about
this show is by you guys telling them all about it.
So tell a friend to tell a friend, to tell

(01:13:50):
a friend. Please submit your questions for the straight fact
segment to Hallo at Hand Me My Purse dot com
with the subject line straight facts or I'll do you
one better now. In the link that is listed in
my bio, there is a link that says I don't

(01:14:12):
know what the link says. It probably says smart bio.
But in that link you'll see it's a buttons for
all kinds of things. Where to listen, how to find it?
I have playlists there how to find me on social media,
but there's one that says submit a question for straight facts.
Go to the link in my bio on Instagram or

(01:14:33):
on Twitter, click it and boom. You can submit a
question that way. So go ahead and do that, and
who knows, your question may be featured on an upcoming show. Also,
remember that show notes are always available in the episode description.
Wherever you are listening to the show, be sure to
take a look at the show notes because that is
where I put all of the links and other information

(01:14:55):
that I mentioned during the show that you may want
to check out, in addition to some stuff I just
want to sh with you. Also, just so you know,
the music for handing my Purse the podcast is provided
by none other than Wes Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. I
want to take a moment to give a shout out
to my producers, and together we make up Brando Banjo

(01:15:18):
and the Dirty Throats. Don't ask if you know, you know,
And I just want to say that I look forward
to you, looking forward to listening to Hand Me My
Purse the podcast each and every Tuesday, and I'm out
this bitch peace. Hand Me My Purse is a production

(01:15:53):
of iHeart Podcasts. For more shows from ihart Podcasts, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.

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