No. 89: Self-Deception & Self-Awareness + Missing Out On Living A FULL Life w/Ebony Vaughan - PART ONE. - Hand Me My Purse.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
So as I was perusing to Sheena Arnold's Internet, I
found this. I don't know where I found it. I
did not document that, So shout out to whoever this
belongs to.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It reads.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Anything that is meant for you will naturally find its
way into your life. Anything that is not meant for you,
we'll find a way to leave. Let things come and go,
and trust that every redirection is leading you to something better.

(00:43):
And that's it. That is completely and absolutely all there
is to say about that.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
I can't see the thing.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome to Hand Me My Purse
the podcast. I'm MEI Walker, and I will be here
forever host each and every single time that you tune
into this podcast. Will go ahead and get comfortable. Get
yourself a glass of your favored beverage, whether that's room
temperature bottle of water from some fancy spring in the

(01:37):
Polynesian Islands, some orchata yea, a hot cup of coffee
with oat milk and hazelnuts syrup, or just a simple
glass of bourbon on the rocks with a splash of lemonade.
Sounds kind of tasty, go like yourself a candle, some incense,
or burn some sad and just get ready to chill

(02:00):
out and have yourself a good time. What's up, friends
and ken, it's me and me, Resident Auntie Supreme here
and hand me my purse. And today I am sipping
on some highbiscus tea. You know that's a fave of mine,

(02:23):
Lavender and camomeal probiotics tea. And that is because today
I went out with two of my gentlemen friends.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
And I literally.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Mean that I was trying to say literally, it didn't
come out that way. It sounded like a little lit holy,
But I literally mean that they are both platonic friends
of mine, that are men, gentlemen, kind, sweet, thoughtful men
that are my friends. People often think that, you know,
there cannot be a healthy friendship or relationship between a

(02:57):
man and a woman that isn't sexual or is a
coal or just downright nasty in some nature, and that
is completely wrong. If you're both mature, it can happen.
And so anyway, I went out with one of my friends,
shut out to my homeboy Usuf, and then as we
were about to depart, after we got something to eat,

(03:22):
my very very very close friend. Shout out to my
friend Tyron. I love you, you crazy little light eyed nut.
He is one of my closest friends in the whole
wide world. He called me and told me that he
was in the city. Uh and he lives about forty
five minutes away. So then we met up and hung out,

(03:43):
and it was good to see him because I hadn't
seen him. It was good to see both of them
because I haven't seen either one of them in a
few months. The weather was nice today. It was a
beautiful day. Anyway, my bad back to why I'm drinking
the tea in the first place. Stick So, over the
course of the day, I had a bit of alcohol today,
and I had some ice cream. I had some fried

(04:06):
lobster tenders, Brussels sprouts with hot honey and liquid feta
and garlic truffle fries. So naturally, naturally, yeah, I had that.
Uh yeah, it was a lot happening.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
You know.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I was having a good time. I was having a
good time with my friends. Uh So naturally, I just
need to do some course correction. And I'm drinking high
biscus tea because it's really good for when you consume
too much salt or when you drink sodium, I mean
when you have too much sodium in your system or
sodium in your bloodstream. And lavender camomeal tea with probiotics

(04:47):
because Doug Gut health and I am not always good
with digesting the lactose or the milks, so I definitely
need to do that. I'm also drinking a lot of
water because I'm trying to flush all of this side
of my system. Today was just a full day. Tomorrow,
I'm going back to eating my salads and my skier,

(05:08):
which is an icelandic yogurt. It's so fucking good, but anyway,
and green drink and green drinks and smoothies and protein
shakes and fruit. I'm going back to that because I
went hammer time today. I ain't even gonna lie.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
That's a toad night.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Friends that came forward today's jam. I chose a song
by Nirvana, and I came to this because I was
on the internet doing something and I saw a quote
by Kurt Cobain that I really really liked, and I said,
you know, I should use this quote for we got
to do better. And I said, nope, I'm not going

(05:49):
to do that because I have a process, but I said,
you know what, let me make the jam a Nirvana song.
I love Nirvana. And so if you don't know who
Nirvana is, you could be too young, or you could
be too old. You're probably not of Generation X. You

(06:11):
probably didn't grow up in the nineties, and I mean
grow up in the nineties, like in high school in
the nineties. But anyway, I chose Come as You Are
as one of my faves. And I love this song
because I love the lyrics. I love the lyrics, I
love the music, I love the way he sings it,
I love the arrangement, I love the melody. And I'm

(06:36):
going to read some of the lyrics. And you know,
of course the song is going to play, but I
wanted to read some of them for you. Come as
you are, as you were, as I want you to be,
as a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy.
Take your time, hurry up. The choice is yours. Don't
be late, take a rest, as a friend, as an

(06:57):
old memory. I'm assuming memory is some kind of Latin
word for memory. Then he says, come dowsed in mud,
soaked in bleach, as I want you to be, as
a trend, as a friend as an old memory. It's
not that long of a song, not a lot of words.

(07:19):
There are a couple more, but go ahead and just
listen to it and get into it. I cannot remember
if I made this song a jam before, like many
many moons ago, I can't remember. But if I did,
get into it again, how about that. The truth of
the matter is that one day I'm gonna sit down

(07:40):
and I'm gonna go through all of my prior episodes
before season four, because this is season four, all of
my prior episodes season Did I just say episodes?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Boy?

Speaker 2 (07:56):
What in the world is that? All of my episodes? Okay?

Speaker 1 (08:02):
And I am going to create a playlist of seasons
one through three. The playlist will be It'll have fifty
songs or forty nine songs of every jam that I've
had for seasons one through three, so that I can

(08:27):
reference them so that I know if I am repeating them.
But anyway, I've talked enough, get into this song. It
is a jam for this episode, but it is also
my jam period. And then let's go ahead and get
into this show.

Speaker 4 (08:43):
Let's get this porty story takes.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Jay, what's up? Friends? And Ken?

Speaker 1 (09:17):
It is me Mimi Walker, and I'm here with one
of my very very good friends and friend of the show.
She's been a guest on the show before. Her name
is uh what you can introduce yourself.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
What's your name?

Speaker 5 (09:34):
My name is Ebanie Vaughn.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Okay, Ebanie Vaughn.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Ebanie Vaughn is a very good friend of mine.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Ebanie. Why don't you tell the people who you are? Okay?

Speaker 5 (09:50):
So, I am a licensed therapist. I am a school
social worker, and I own a mental health practice in
the Baltimore County area. I work with children, adults, and families,
helping them to gain freedom, freedom from what mental health challenges.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Okay, because sometimes mental health challenges I know. I can't
speak for anybody else, but I know for me, sometimes
they do feel like they have you locked up.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, yeah, bound even right?

Speaker 5 (10:30):
Yes, yes, yes. So I am a trauma therapist, so
I do a lot of work in trauma and also
working helping people to navigate anxiety, depression, and other mental
health disorders.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Okay, okay, Ebany is the kind of friend that is
so helpful for me because I tend to, oh, don't
do that.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
You already know that.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Because I tend to overthink and ebony is very She's
one of the coolest people I know.

Speaker 5 (11:10):
And cool.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, I mean you always say, oh that you're boring
and you're not cool, but you are literally the coolest person,
one of the coolest people that I know, in that
you don't let a lot of external factors affect how
you navigate your life. Like you don't get thrown off

(11:32):
of course much. Now. It does happen, you know, I mean,
you're a human being, so it happens. I've seen habit,
but you don't allow things on a regular basis to
take you off course. So when I say cool, I
literally mean like you're cool in that you're very cool,
calm and collected. I haven't seen you like riddled with anxiety.

(11:56):
I haven't seen you with any extreme emotion. I have
seen you cry a couple of times, so yes, but
no extreme emotion like extreme anger or maybe extreme annoyance.
I've seen you annoyed people before, but like nothing, you
know what I mean. Like, I've seen you really happy,
but I've never seen you, you know, be affected by

(12:18):
someone so much that it takes you like off of
your seat or off of your throne. And I just
made that up. If we're all considered royalty. To have
somebody take you off your throne for a moment. I've
never seen that happen to you, and that happens to
me a lot, and sometimes it's me, and so.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
It is awesome.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
I haven't had you on the show in a really
long time. I wanted to have you on the show
because we were talking one day in your office and
we were talking about I always talk about how when
people are inauthentic, it really like it does something to
me sometimes like it sometimes physically I have like a
response to it, like right, And we were talking about something.

(13:04):
We were talking about people lying to themselves. And one
of the awesome things about being Ebane's friend is that
she is a minister, right, and at any given time,
she's gonna give you a little sermon, okay, and not
like not.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Oh and not like not.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Like a lord here she goes again, but like you
know what, she was just preaching just a second ago
and you didn't even realize it.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
Jesus, Jesus. And so.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
We were talking and you went and you start, You
went and had a sermon, and it's like, where's my tambourine,
let's open eye Bibles because Pastor is getting ready to
pastor today. Okay, And so I said, I love this
conversation around people around self deception and inauthenticity and disingenuineness

(14:05):
and just like lying to yourself because essentially being inauthentic,
you are telling the biggest lies to you. I mean,
of course you're telling them to other people and not intentionally,
but to me, you are telling the biggest lie to yourself,
and that is that I am this person or that

(14:26):
I believe these things, or that I am this way,
when in actuality you are not. Because who really cares
about what I mean? Not that you should go around
lying to people, That's not what I'm saying, but like
bump them other people if you are not being truthful
with yourself, like what you tell other people doesn't even matter?

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Right or no?

Speaker 5 (14:47):
Absolutely? Well?

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, so where does let's get to the root of
that a little bit?

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Like what is that about?

Speaker 3 (14:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (14:56):
You know, as you were just talking, and I love
the way you kind of segue into that, But what
I really the words that really struck me immediately is
defensive structures. And I think that you know, oftentimes when
we self deceive, it's really about a defense mechanism. It's

(15:20):
really about us trying to create a world that we
can live with or that we can stomach. And so
sometimes when we go through life and we go through challenges,
you know, it's something real simple, but you know, thinking
about if you have been disappointed in a relationship and

(15:42):
you say to yourself, I'm not worried about that, I'm
done with that. It's over. I'm not even thinking about
that anymore. And the minute you say that, you're already ruminating.
But something tells you that you're okay, that I'm not
thinking about it. It's okay, I don't care. And I
just think that a lot of times, when we do

(16:03):
it long enough, we begin to believe it because it's
safe in believing it. And so you know, and so
when I say those defensive structures, it's really about what
we create, I mean, because think about it. We experience extreme,
extremely trump you know, extremely traumatic events or disappointments and relationships,

(16:29):
and we have to learn how to navigate it without
falling apart right, and sometimes that may require us creating
a fortress or a fortress of lies so that we
can go day to day, because if we don't, it's
like I'm falling apart every five minutes. So I got

(16:50):
to tell myself that everything is okay or that I'm
fine when I'm really not. And I also think that,
you know, when you think about a lie, sometimes lives
are intentional. Right, it's more or less like you're deliberate.
You're saying, I'm being intentionally you know, decisive. Yeah, But

(17:15):
sometimes when you think about self deception, it could be
conscious or it could be unconscious. It really depends on
our paradigm in terms of how we think and how
we allow ourselves to think, you know. So that's the
you know, that's the first thing that I thought about,
those defensive structures and why we have to self deceit.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Okay, so you're saying that basically, usually it's a defense
mechanism for people when they are being deceptive with themselves.
And it's interesting that you said that a lot of
times people do it because it's comfortable.

Speaker 5 (17:55):
It's safe.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, it's safe, but is it.

Speaker 5 (17:59):
Well, it's safe in that at times it's what you
tell yourself you know that you can survive. And I
always think about and I'm not gonna do a sermon, no,
but think about.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
The time out what you're not finna do on my show.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Okay, it's censor yourself, okay, Mint Evangelists, Yes, Vaughn, we're
not doing that on this show because here at this show,
on handing my purse, I want these people to experience
a little I'm very transparent with them. I'm often very
vulnerable on this show, you know. And when I say
Ebney is a friend of the show, like she listens

(18:39):
to it. So it's not just like she comes on
and then she leaves, like.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
We talk about this.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Ebne has her own podcast and she's she got ninety
five books. She don't read eight thousand books. I don't
even understand how this woman does this, but she does.
She does it because she's don't no offense to you,
evangelist Bishop.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
She's a bad bitch.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
Okay, she writes the book, she got the business, and
she's a good and she's a good human.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Okay, So thank you you are you know, I love you.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
So So my thing is like, how is it safe though?
Because is it safe if we are not being true
to ourselves?

Speaker 5 (19:23):
Well, it feels safe, and I think that, yeah, I
think that feeling isn't always our reality, but it's what
we're comfortable with. And I always and the reason why
I brought up the sermon thing is because I remember
a year or so I taught and one of the

(19:45):
things that I talked about is how do I get
free from something that has kept me safe all my life?
So and so and and sometimes the lies that we
tell ourselves the the defensive structure structures that we create.
These are structures that prevents us from getting hurt again.

(20:08):
It prevents us from experiencing the trauma or the pain
that we may have experienced in the past. And so
it could be, you know, all of a sudden, now
I'm hard, when I used to be warm and fuzzy.
You know, it could be anything. You know, it could
be your demeanor, your personality, your language, your conversation, and

(20:30):
all of those things. You know, we create so that
we can live with the memories, so that we can
live with the trauma that is still stored in our bodies. Right.
I always think about how, you know, I tell people
all the time, when I was a you know, when
I was a teenager, I was very hard, right, And

(20:53):
what I mean by that is I had this persona
like I'm not taking no stuff off of nobody. And
that was first and foremost with guys. And you know,
if I if you know, if thinking like a dude
was a work, you know, was a thing for me,
that that's what it would be. Why Because I was hurt.

(21:14):
I was afraid to get wounded again or get abandoned again.
So my thing is hurt first, or you're not gonna
do this to me, or you're not. So I created
defensive structures and I became something that I was not right.
And and in doing that, you know, I have lied

(21:35):
to myself at times, telling myself, I don't care, it
didn't bother me. You know, I'm gonna do this. I'm
you know, all of these things that I think, you know,
like I'm gonna say what's on my mind, I don't care,
I'm you know, all of I created this image and
this persona that wasn't even my authentic self, but it

(21:57):
was there to protect me and to keep me from
getting hurt. Now do you still get hurt, Sure you do,
But but the level of consciousness we create is kind
of like, I'm impenetrable. This isn't gonna happen to me anymore.
So I think that's where the self deception come in
where we you know, because of our experiences, because of

(22:20):
our Trump trauma, we become something that we weren't designed
to be.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Okay, So here's my question for you.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Then you said that, and I was trying to hold
it because I'm working on like my therapist tells me
that I don't have ADHD, but I'm like miss Mama's yes.
She also said to me before, No.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
You're not depressed, lady. Yes I am. I've been in
this mental health game a long time. Yes I am.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
Something is off. But anyway, so I was over here
trying to hold what I was saying. You said, we
create these things to protect ourselves from getting hurt and
to protect ourselves from whatever. But I feel like and
while you were talking and you were talking about being
hard and saying, oh, I don't care or it's not

(23:22):
important to me or whatever, especially in relationships, in romantic
relationships and friendships and familial relationships, relationships with your hairstyle
as your nail tech, the mailman, whoever. When we are hurt,
or we are abandoned or rejected or traumatized, sometimes we
try to dumb our emotions and our feelings down, and

(23:43):
we do that, like you said, sometimes it is subconscious.
It's just a natural or an innate defense mechanism that occurs.
But the truth of the matter is, I feel like,
as someone who has done this and who has experienced this,
now that I look back, it kind of held me
back from my own truth though, right, yes, And when

(24:06):
you hold yourself back from your own truth, you can't
really experience the fullness of joy or the fullness of
your life because you're too busy holding yourself back from
experience and and feeling anything so that you can keep
this wall up, or so that you can keep this
persona up like you're not affected or whatever.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
The defensive structure I like that.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
It sounds very technical, your defensive structure, but whatever it is,
you keep that up. But you are not living a
full life because you are spending so much time pretending
to be someone you are not. And I think that
that it was not until this moment that I realized
that that may be a part of why I don't

(24:51):
like the concept of inauthenticity or disingenuousness, or being fake
or phony one. It costs too much, Okay, it costs
too much time, It costs too much of my thinking,
and more importantly, it takes too much of my energy
away that I have to worry about something that doesn't

(25:13):
even really matter, this fake person or this illusion of who.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
You are or delusion of who you are.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
It takes too much time to uphold that when if
you were just being yourself and sitting in who you are,
the shadow side of you, the bright side of you,
your greatness, your flaws, like you don't have to worry
about trying to put on for somebody, and you can
really just experience the fullness of life and the fullness

(25:42):
of joy and the fullness of hurt. Because the thing
is that you can't stop from being hurt, Like you
can't prevent that.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Like that's not really how it goes.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
And if you focus on preventing that, that was the
thought that it came back to me. If you focus
on trying not to be hurt, you won't find love either, though. Yeah,
because you're just so focused on not hurting, you're not
gonna find that. You're not gonna find joy because you're

(26:15):
so focused on not experiencing pain.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
M h am, I right about that? Is that?

Speaker 5 (26:22):
Right? Yeah? I'm so in agreement with everything you said,
and I think that, you know, when we lie to ourselves,
we create, you know, and I talked about this defensive structure.
But the thing is, we have created something to protect
us from the outside, but we're stuck in the inside.

(26:43):
So it's almost like we're imprisoned by ourselves. And because
of that, we become something that we're not. And I
think that, you know, that is totally against it is
totally against our nature. But the other thing is we're
just surviving. We're just you know, trying to maintain, trying

(27:08):
to make it, but we're not thriving. And we know
now that we're you know, and awakened people, we understand
that the more important thing is to thrive as opposed
to surviving. But many of us had to survive. Think
about the the tru you know, extreme traumatic events that

(27:30):
people have endured and what it took for them to
endure those moments, you know. I think about as a clinician,
I think about dissociative disorder, which is multiple personality disorder,
and they create you know, personalities, and they create compartment

(27:51):
you know, they compartmentalize aspects of themselves, whether it's through
alter egos or whether it's just through various realities, but
it came from somewhere. They were running from something. You
understand what I'm saying in terms of, you know, having

(28:12):
to protect themselves from a world and you know, not
to get to not to get too much into this,
but you know, in working with people who have tremendous traumas,
you know, I've spoken to people who you know, maybe
they weren't abused in the past, and you know, they
said things to me, you know, like when it was happening,

(28:36):
you know, I visioned or imagined that I was somewhere
else and you know, and because of that, I got
through that moment. And it's almost like I blocked those
you know, those moments and those experiences because of how
painful it is. Now that is a very extreme example

(28:59):
of how somebody can dissociate, but it's real.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
It makes me think of there's a young man at
our school. It makes me think of, you know, the
young man who sometimes he's there, sometimes he's not. Sometimes
he checks himself into the psych ward and sometimes he
checks himself out and the condition that he has and

(29:23):
that and how I wonder if.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
There's a connection.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
You know, I be reaching sometimes, you know, I be
reaching for the moon, okay, and overthinking, but is there
something connected to that where you experience trauma or just
the way your brain is wired, how you can create
like a whole different world that is protecting you and

(29:50):
you are not like living in reality.

Speaker 5 (29:54):
Absolutely, and guess who. And children do it all the time.
That's how we create our w playworlds and O would
play lives at two and three and four and all
of these different you know, as young children it happens.
But then as we become adults, you know, we are
faced with the reality, right, and then we're also faced

(30:17):
with what we have considered the reality. And I think
that there are vast differences between those who struggle with
mental disorders such as dissociative and some of the other
disorders and those and then those who have, you know,
just created self deceptive realities to not deal with or

(30:41):
to avoid feelings. And I think that this is so
key because this is what we talk about so much
in therapy. It's not so much in the work that
I do with so many people. I don't work with
too many people who have experienced the mental disorder of dissociation,

(31:04):
but I do work with a lot of people who
have created ways of thinking, and they have created personas
and these deceptive descriptions of who they are because of
what they've experienced, whether it's through relationships, so whether it's

(31:26):
through you know, and it could be biological relationships or
romantic relationships. And the biggest, the bulk of the therapeutic
work that we do is to get people to a
place of self awareness. And that is, you know, more
times than not, the most important aspect of any therapeutic process,

(31:50):
getting you to see reality for what it really is
as opposed to what you've told yourself. It is that
that is the part that you know, we you know,
we have to be honest with And one of the
things that as therapists, many therapists, we focus on and

(32:11):
we help people to to do and to practice daily
is own your feelings. Don't judge them, but own them.
Because sometimes when we judge our feelings because they appear
to be harsh, or because they appear to be a
negative have a negative connotation, will deny it just so

(32:34):
we won't look bad. And it's kind of like and
it's kind of like, no own it, you know, it's
not about whether it's right or wrong. We're not even
gonna deal with that first. I just want to know
how you feel.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Just tell me.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Let's not yeah, just tell me what it is, keep
it a up, just tell me what it is, and
then we can work from there. You mentioned self awareness,
and it says I look something up and it says
self awareness is the ability need to focus on yourself
and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or do
not align with your internal standards. If you're highly self aware,

(33:10):
you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your
behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.

Speaker 5 (33:19):
That's right, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
So what happens when we lack self awareness?

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Like how you were talking about the greatest thing in
therapy is to get people to get to a place
of self awareness because I would imagine as the clinician
or as the therapist, until you get to them to
that place. Like y'all really just plan in these sessions, right, absolutely? Yeah,
Like if somebody is coming to you, because I feel

(33:47):
like therapy is very I know it sounds bad to
say this because it's a good thing that it is,
but it's super trendy now.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Which is good.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
It needs to be trendy, especially in this country, because
people need therapy in this country. But I feel like
exactly what I just said, And I remember having this
conversation with my aunt, like if you are going to
therapy and you not telling the truth or you not,
like what are you talking to this lady about? Because
if you are not going to therapy, and like having
a conversation and like getting real, like if people are

(34:21):
not going to therapy. Because when I go to therapy,
if I take my proverbial clothes off, I get naked,
I'm gonna tell a lady everything.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
I'm gonna tell her about, the.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Dark thoughts, the happy thoughts, the tears, I'm a cry,
I'm ana fallout. And you know that firsthand when it
comes to me. I don't have a problem with holding back,
because how can I heal if I'm not honesty, you know,
Because if.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
You're not honest, what are you healing?

Speaker 1 (34:46):
If I'm not being honest about my feelings, you know,
how my reactions, what I'm thinking, I'm a feeling, What
is it that you're healing if you're not telling the truth.
And so it seems like that would be a difficult
thing as a therapist or a psychologist, psychiatrist, clinician, whatever
to deal with when you are seeing your clients or

(35:09):
your patients or your whatever you call them. But if
they are coming in and they are not being authentic,
and usually I bet y'all can smell it.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
A mile away.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
I know you can, because you know you got that eye.
But like, until they get to that place, it's like,
y'all just kind of I don't want to say, wasting
each other's time, but like y'all ain't really hitting on nothing.
If the person is not being authentic or telling the truth.

Speaker 5 (35:33):
Right, well, well I think that they are stages to that,
and there's levels to that. And the reason why I
say that there are stages to that is you almost
never get to see a person authentically the first time,
you know, when when you start talking about that level
of intimacy. It takes time to uncover. And what we

(35:56):
can't do as therapists is strip you before you're red,
because if we strip you of your reality or your
perceived reality before you're ready, you're gonna fight me, or
you may just shut down, or they oftentimes not absolutely.
And so there are oftentimes when you have to take

(36:17):
your time and the way that you do. That is
you begin to you know, recognize patterns of thought and
patterns of behavior, and you kind of, you know, bring
those out as you're having your discussions. But you're almost
never get the authentic, true authentic person when you first

(36:39):
meet them. And that's okay because the fact of the
matter is some people are very protective of their authentic
selves and so they're not always comfortable with people meeting
that person until they are comfortable with it. And so
that is something you know that I truly understand. But
you're right in terms of being in therapy week after

(37:03):
week and you're coming presenting this created self and not
and not allowing yourself to really do the work of
understanding you. And I think that self awareness part it
takes carriage, because you have to be able to be
introspective and reflective about your character and about you know

(37:27):
and about who you are and how you show up.
And sometimes the way we show up is not who
we think we are. And so you know, that takes
a level of humility and a level of acceptance that
quite frankly, because of those defensive structures that we've created

(37:49):
to keep us that that form of denial is basically
what it is a pretty word for denial, But what
is denial other than I'm gonna protect me from this truth,
you know. So I think that that the time, the
work that we put in in therapy really has to

(38:10):
do with that engagement piece, you know, in terms of
having those conversations and dialogues that bring out patterns of behavior,
that bring out patterns of thought, and what those things produce,
you know, see, because sometimes people have to see their
wreckage before they're willing to see what produced the wreckage.

(38:33):
They have to be able to see what they've done
first before they can be honest, and so so many example,
an example would be a person may let's just say,
may have destroyed somebody's life emotionally, financially right. They may not.

(38:56):
They may not be able to stomach that they are
responsibility are the kind of person. They may not be
able to stomach that they are the kind of person
that would ruin someone's life. But it's not until after
they do it and they're open enough to see the
wreckage of what they're done, that they're able to go

(39:19):
back and reflect upon it. But oftentimes, going into it,
if you were to tell them you are rotten you.
You will destroy me. They may deny it depending upon
their self awareness, their ability to be honest with themselves

(39:40):
about you know, about who they are and what they do.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Okay, I get that. That's heavy. That meant let me
drink that. Damn that is a lot.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
So basically what you are saying is they have to
see the destruction, like think of them.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
I'm always using the analogies.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Let's think of the person as emotionally abusive, right, absolutely,
And let's think of this emotionally abusive person as a
tornado or a hurricane. You can't tell them when it's
just windy outside and it's raining. Early stages, like when
it's just windy that you know what, you're about to

(40:41):
really excuse me my language, you're about to fuck some
shit up. Were you about to really get in here
and just tear this person up because they're gonna be like, no,
I'm not you know, that's all in your head or
you know this person does such and such and NYD.
A lot of times it's a lot of deflecting. Absolutely,
it's a lot of deflection. Well, and then sometimes there

(41:04):
is some victim shaming either even I mean also not okay,
I can't even think of my words.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
There's also some.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Victim shaming, like, well they did this, and da da
da da. You're saying that sometimes it has to be
a full on hurricane Isabelle. I remember Isabelle. Isabelle had
our power out for nine days. Me and my grandmother
was like living off the land, living in the house
with no power and eating out.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Of coolers and stuff.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
Isabelle got to come and then stop, and then you
got to stand up and look around at all the destruction, like,
oh shit, I did this.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
But what about when people don't even do that?

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Because I know people who don't even they can look
at the destruction and be like, well I told her
not to do such such Well I was mad. I
told you know people. We had a parent the other day.
The little girl cussed the assistant principle and the dean
out called the assistant principal exees my language, nigga, you
should have got the fuck out of my face. Don't
you ever fucking touch me, bitch. I mean, she in

(42:04):
the seventh grade and this man is forty six years old, okay,
cussed him out, and the mother said, well, when she
is on five thousand, like that you can't, you know,
talk to her. You kind of gotta let her go
off by herself. What miss No, are we gonna help
her regulate her emotions? Because if she goes and does

(42:26):
this out in the streets, Officer Friendly who had wears
blue may not be as receptive as this assistant principle
or this dean is like, where's the responsibility or the
acknowledgment of I was wrong or I did do that,
I caused this destruction. I'm not even gonna go as
far as saying as what do I do to clean

(42:48):
it up? Because most people don't even try to clean
they mess up, but just acknowledging and like you said, acceptance,
accepting that, hey, sometimes I might fuck some shit up.
I might come into a situation and really tear it up.
How do you get people to that place? How do
you get that? Was gonna be one of my questions,

(43:09):
like how do you get people when you're treating them?
And I mean for those of you who are not
in therapy, this can be helpful because maybe you can
do this with yourself, Like how do you get people
to a place of.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Even being interested in being self aware?

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Because a lot of folks don't even have any interest
in being self aware because they don't think that anything
is wrong and not to say anything is wrong with them,
but they don't think that they are not self aware.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
Yeah, I truly believe that people are their least selves
and their most destructive when they are not self aware.
Because when you are not self aware, you see everything
but you you know, it's one of those things looking
out but not inward. And part of self awareness is

(44:01):
introspection and reflection, and so you know, there are many
people who are very self aware, of course, and then
you have those that have been, that have taught themselves
to be self aware, and then you have those that
refuse to be. So we got a little bit of Lotty,

(44:23):
Dottie and everybody, right. But I think that when it
comes to how do you get people to be self aware,
first and foremost, they have to be open enough and
willing to see what they're uncomfortable with, because it's almost
like you have to be uncomfortable with the uncomfortable. You know,

(44:45):
no one wants to see themselves as abusive or destructive,
or negative or a monster. No one wants to believe
that about themselves. But at the end of the day,
what do you produce? And sometimes being able to see

(45:09):
what they have produced throughout their lives, through their relationships,
and even in their lives, it comes to a point
where they don't have a choice but to be honest
with themselves and say, you know what, I messed this up.
I really messed this up bad. And we can you know,
keep it real simple and think about the relationships that

(45:30):
we've been in. And there have been times where you know,
people have come back to you and say, you know what,
I really messed up and I'm sorry. But the time
that you were going through it, if you told them that,
they denied it. You know it's you, it's you, you know.
So they had time to come to themselves, you know,

(45:51):
and recognize the impact of their lives on other people.
And I think that so when you talk about how
do I get to this place of self acceptance, acknowledgement, righty,
humility and honesty like all of these things, First of all,
you gotta humble yourself and get to the place where

(46:13):
you understand that who you have perceived yourself as and
who you have carried yourself as you might not just
be that person. You know you you you you may
have to get to that place where you admit to
yourself you've been a fraud, you know, and that's a lie.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Now come on now, because listen now that that right, yeah,
that's that's that you you walking around here perpetrating and
remember that from the eighties and the nineties, you are
here perpetrating the fraud, pretending to be somebody that you absolutely.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
Are not not. And I've done it, I've been, we
all have. We are absolutely absolutely.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
So friends in Kemp for today Straightfax's question. It feels
a little bit like this woman was going on a
rant at first, but then she got it together at
the end and asked her question. But I'm gonna go
ahead and reading for you. It says, here's the story.
It's a weekday and I'm on my way to grab
some lunch while I work.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
Excuse me, I'm drinking my tea.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
A nice looking man approaches me. We have a general
conversation while in line. He asked if I was married
or dating. I said, I'm dating, but I'm not married.
He asked if he could have my number. Now, before
I asked for his number, I asked him how old
he was. He said fifty two. I'm forty four, So

(48:03):
that's cool. I give him my number and then he asked,
what's your snap?

Speaker 2 (48:09):
I'm like what? He said, Well, do you have social media?
I said yes.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
He asked which one? I told him. Then he asked
for it. I said why. He said, so I can
see how you live your life, You overgrown idiot. That
shit does not reference my life anyway. I said, I'm
cool on that and told him to delete my information.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Listen, women be kiving, black women be giving me in
a hard time. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Sis was like, no, delete my information, So anyway, let
me go back because it was funny for men. You
overgrown idiot. That shit doesn't reference my life anyway. I said,
I'm cool on that and told him to delete my
information information. My question for you, Mimi is laud why.
I'm sure you wondered, how do you know she's black?

(49:12):
There you go, because she literally wrote laud why in quotations.
Why does an individual at our big age think that
social media is a reflection on my life?

Speaker 2 (49:24):
Hell?

Speaker 1 (49:25):
Why at your big age is it even used as
a tool to communicate. I cannot accept that kind of stuff,
and it causes me to have people headaches. I'm gonna
start using that. People headaches and they try to unbalance
my libra scales. Of course she's a labor my libra
scale really quickly. And that is from Denisia from Houston, Texas.

(49:48):
Shout out to Denisia.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
So it seems like the question is Lord.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Why laud Why Why does an individual at our big
age think that social media is a reflection on someone's life?
And why at fifty two years old, are you even
using it as a tool to communicate? Okay, so social

(50:15):
media has really like taken over our lives, you know
what I mean. And I feel like this is something
that I see with kids a lot, and it seems
like this is just a part of the new world order. Okay,

(50:37):
it seems like this is the norm now, you know,
I know when I meet people like strangers on the street,
not people like for dating, but like let's say I'm
at a bar, or you know, I'm at a happy hour,
or I'm at a restaurant, or I'm in the line
at the grocery store and you talk to strike up
a conversation with somebody.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
For instance, let me give you an.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
I went to Virginia Beach for spring break. The hotel
I stayed in. You know, it was kind of like
a staycation.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
So I ate.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
So I ate at the restaurant in the hotel quite
a few times. Excuse me, sweet Jesus. So I ate
at the hotel a few times. And I got kind
of friendly with one of the waiters and he we
were talking one day and I was He was like, well,

(51:32):
do you have Instagram? And I said yes, and so
we exchanged Instagram information, and you know, I told him
at a podcast. He told me that he was a
bartender and he had studied abroad. He went to some
bartender school or you know, college or university, I don't
know what, how do you call it. But he did

(51:52):
his training as a bartender in like Fouquet or in
Bali or somewhere over there. And we were talking and
you know, talking about traveling and leaving the country, and
you know, I enjoyed our conversation, and so I was like, oh,
let's stay in contact. He was not interested in anything
that I had, if you know what I mean, And

(52:15):
that was fine, but he was still somebody that I
enjoyed talking to. So, you know, the next time I
go to Virginia Beach, I would want to look him
up and say, hey, you know, Kevin, I'm coming back
down to Virginia Beach. Are you still working at such
such hotel? And he may say no, I'm working at
this hotel stop by, Or he could say no, I

(52:37):
moved to Bali, or no, I moved to Mexico. If
you're ever in Cancun, let me know and we can
have lunch.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
So I get that.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
People do that because you know, he may not have
been comfortable with giving me his phone number, and I
didn't really see the need in him having my phone
number because we're not going to be texting back or
you know, pen pals or you know, talking on the phone.
But it's a great way to stay in contact or
in communication with people that you would not regularly talk

(53:12):
to or see.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
I do agree with you.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
However, if you are interested in dating me, why would
you ask for my Instagram? I am not applying for
a job. Okay, you are not doing that kind of
background check on me. If you want to get to
know me, take the time to get to know me.
I fundamentally, and it's probably because you're a Libra. Shout
out to Libra. I fundamentally understand your frustration, and I

(53:41):
would probably be frustrated as well, because if you want
to get to know me, then get to know me.
We don't have time for no simple shit like looking
at my Instagram. Because you look at my Instagram, my
personal Instagram, you won't see nothing but a bunch of
like quotes and motivational quotes that I've post for myself.

(54:02):
And if anybody else is there to get that work,
that's fine. You may see pictures of me and my cousins,
my brother's selfies of me, pictures of me as a baby,
reposts of babies and puppies, like you know, that is
not a representation or an indication of who I am.

(54:22):
It's just who I want to present as on the internet.
The good thing about me is that it kind of
all runs together, like I am who pretty much who
I present on the internet. But that's not the same
way for everybody, because everybody uses social media for different things.
I do feel like as a fifty two year old, like,
that's kind of weird if he was twenty two, maybe

(54:44):
even thirty.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
Two, but thirty two is pushing it. But twenty two
or thirty two, like, okay, that makes.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
Sense because you know, millennials and gen Z like they're
they're different. They use social media. They grew up with
social media. We oh my god, we oh years old.
You don't don't go on my snap or on my
And sometimes when men leave with Snapchat, I be thinking
they trying to be freaky too. Just so you know, Denisia,

(55:12):
I just want you all to know, that was my chair.
I did not pass gas. Okay, you're here.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
That is a chair.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Just to be clear, Okay, anyway, he too old for that, Okay.
I'll be thinking sometimes that they be trying to be
freaky with Snapchat because they know what disappears like in
twenty four hours. At the end of the day, I
kind of feel like you did the right thing when
you said to delete my information, because why even drag

(55:39):
this out like you. It was kind of harsh, It
was kind of abrupt, and it made me laugh. I
gotta say that you were like, no, that's good, I'm alright,
because you can just delete my information.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
We could.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Because that made you that irritated you, it gave you
a people headache or made you bootyage. I get that
you probably could have gave him another chance and just
let him know, like if you want to get to
know me, then get to know me like a mature
adult versus somebody who grew up in the information age.

(56:13):
You ain't had to cut the brother off like you
ain't had to cut him off like that, assuming and
he was a brother, I don't know, but you ain't
had to cut him off like that. But you did
what you thought was best, and that's fine. But I
think that is the answer to your question, Like people
use social media to do background checks on people, and
he said that to you because he thinks that that

(56:35):
is a reflection of who you are. And it sounds
like he's just not mature. You two aren't on the
same maturity level. So it's probably best that you don't
even waste your time, girl, So good luck.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
I know how hard.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
It is to be forty four years old, forty five,
forty three, forty two, forty and over out here, Dayton,
and you got fifty two year old men saying what's
your snap?

Speaker 2 (56:58):
Boy?

Speaker 1 (56:58):
If you don't get the hell out of my face
asking me some what's my snap?

Speaker 2 (57:04):
Please say?

Speaker 1 (57:09):
I told you guys that I bought this book and
it is called Black Liturgies. I mentioned it in my
last episode about In my last episode about episode number
eighty eight, my Happy Anniversary Birthday episode for Hey, Me

(57:33):
and my Purse, and I talked briefly about my trip
to Virginia Beach and how I read a prayer from
that book Black Liturgies by Cole Where is it Cole
Arthur Riley, who I found out tonight is a black woman.

(57:55):
Shout out, first of all, cheers to Cole Arthur Riley. Okay,
but shout out to Cole Arthur Riley and this book.
All this time, I thought that Cole Arthur Riley was
a black man or a man. Shout out to Cole
Arthur Riley, the author of Black Liturgies, being a black woman.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
It's such a beautiful book.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
And I know this sounds bad, but now that I
know that it is a black woman who wrote it,
it takes on a different feel for me. And I
can't really explain it to you right now because it's new,
but I feel differently about it. Not that I feel
better about it or worse about it, because it's definitely

(58:44):
not a negative feeling, but I see the book through
different eyes and from a different lens now knowing and
understanding that a black woman wrote this book.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
I really really, really really do.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
I see the book through a different lens, and she's
such a pretty lady. She looks very sweet and kind.
But anyway, I wanted to read and this is not
going to be the last that you hear of this book.
I can promise you that I wanted to read from
the book. And so the book is broken into all

(59:17):
these different sections, and I read from the section on doubt.
And in each section, you know, depending on what the
section is, there is a breakdown. So there are prayers,
and she breaks down different prayers and scenarios around doubt.
There are quotes about from ancestors, meaning like you know,

(59:40):
there may be a quote from my Angelou or doctor
King or Malcolm X or Zorn and Hurston. And then
there are meditations like breathing techniques where like I inhale gratitude,
I exhale fear, I am worthy like and it'll tell
you about breathing. So it's literally on the cover of

(01:00:02):
the book, it literally says black liturgies, prayers, poems, poems,
and meditations for staying human. And so what I'm reading today,
there's a benediction, there's a forgiveness, prayer for you to
read in addition to the different prayers. The book is
fucking dope. Okay. That's really all I got to say

(01:00:24):
about the book. Actually, I have so much to say
about the book. But the book is fucking dope. If
you don't have it, get it. I've been trying to
buy it for people ever since I was on spring break.
I tried to buy it for my friend Bianca. She
would not allow it. Tried to buy it for somebody else,
they would not allow it. It's fine, y'all don't want
my book.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
It's all good.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Y'all don't want me to buy a book. They was
buying it for themselves. And I get that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
I get that. I get that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
I won't allow you to make me feel rejected, and
I won't allow myself to feel rejected because you don't
want me to buy the books for you. It's fine,
But I wanted to read to you today the Forgiveness Prayer,
and it's on page eighty two, from the section on doubt. Okay,
and in every forgiveness prayer and every section it starts

(01:01:14):
out with let your soul receive this rest.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
Let me tell you something.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Knowing that a black woman wrote this changes the fucking
game for me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
Let your soul receive this rest. The Divine, who is
both visible and invisible, near and far, small and grand,
has mercy on you. Allow them to liberate you from
the bondage of certainty, that you would walk freely into curiosity, imagination,

(01:01:49):
and a sacred unknowing.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Amen. Listen. Also other stuff. Oohio, he's got some soul
searching to.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Do it one more time for your holy mind, and
then I'm gonna stop, okay, and we're gonna move on.
Let your soul receive this rest. Let me drink some tea, yode,
I'm a little parched. Let your soul receive this rest.

(01:02:22):
I keep saying it because it's something about that that
is doing something to my spirit. And I can't really
put my finger on it, and you can't. Maybe you
can hear me tapping on my chest. Let your soul
receive this rest. The Divine, who is both visible and invisible,
near and far, small and grand, has mercy on you.

(01:02:44):
Allow them to liberate you from the bondage of certainty.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
Hallelujah. Let me tell you something.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
I randomly chose this, but my God is a god
of intentionality. He is a very intention Know God, there
is a reason that I'm reading this when I tell you,
I randomly chose this, and here God is speaking to me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Let me read it again. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
And if you don't like that, I keep going back
and forth. That's none of my fucking business. Like, I
don't really care if you don't like it, because I'm
gonna do what I want to do because this is
my shaw. Okay, let your soul receive this rest. The divine,
who is both visible and invisible, near and far, small
and grand, has mercy on you. Allow them to liberate

(01:03:37):
you from the bondage of certainty, that you would walk
freely into curiosity, imagination, and the sacred unknowing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Amen. Amen, and amen, and.

Speaker 3 (01:03:51):
I shay friends in can.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
The first thing that I want to do is say
thank you to God first, because God is supreme and
I recognize and appreciate the grace that God extends me
every single day of my black ass life.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
I want to.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Say thank you to my good friend Evany Vaughn for
being a guest on the show. She will also be
on the show next week because next week will be
part two, but I'm just grateful that she took time
out of her evening to sit and talk with me
about self deception. Listen, just hearing the words self deception,

(01:04:37):
self deception, and self awareness don't feel the same when
you say it. Self awareness keeps you out of the
weeds of self deception.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
I'm grateful that she sat down and talked to me
about this, and it was a pretty great conversation. I'm
grateful for her. And if you don't have a friend
like Ebony, get you a friend like Ebony. I've learned
so much from her. I've learned so much about not
sweating the small stuff and not worrying about things that

(01:05:10):
don't matter, and just not And she gets so upset
when I say this, not so upset like man, but
like just not giving a fuck and not giving a fuck,
like you don't care about things, but like not worrying
about things, because how can you believe God and believe
in God if you're gonna worry? Why are you worrying

(01:05:32):
about things that have nothing to do with you? Why
are you worrying about things that you don't have any
control over. I'm grateful for her, friendship because I have
learned a lot from her in that way. But anyway,
I want to say thank you to the rest of
my people, all of you. Thank you to each and
every one of you that's been rocking with me since
day one, ever since March the first of twenty twenty.

(01:05:55):
I appreciate you for being here with me. And even
if you just started listening today, I'm grateful for you
as well. Either way, SIS is very appreciative and I'm
glad that you're here. I'm thankful for my family, my friends,
my friends, and ken all of my supporters. Because support
is not always about listening. Support can come in many
different fashions and forms, and of course, most importantly, every

(01:06:17):
single one of you guys that are actually out there listening.
I love you guys so much, and it is nothing
short of an honor, a privilege, and a blessing to
share my time and my energy with you, especially if
you keep coming back to spend your time and your
energy with me. I look forward to the next time
that we get to do this with one another.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Now, hold up.

Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
Before you exit out of whatever streaming service you're using
to listen to this, stop for a second and if
you haven't already done, so look for the subscriber follow button.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
Click it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Click on that if you have the option to do
so wherever you're listening. Next, I want you to go
over to Instagram and follow me at Handing my Purse
Underscore Podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
Also follow me on Twitter.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
At or X we're gonna call it Twitter at HMMP
Underscore podcast. But I don't really be popping over the here,
like I ain't even gonna lie. And on Facebook, just
search hand Me my Purse podcast. I don't really be
super popping on Facebook, but sometimes I am. Really Where
you want to find me is Instagram and threads. Threads
is like Twitter for Instagram. And if you go to

(01:07:21):
my Instagram profile and look for the little swirly loop
d loop on my profile, you will find it. Here's
another thing I would like for you to do. If
you listen on a streaming service or medium that allows
you to do so, please rate and review the show
and give it a thumbs up. Will you please rate
or review the show every week? I ask y'all to
do that, and y'all don't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
I feel like.

Speaker 3 (01:07:43):
Y'all hate me.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
I feel like.

Speaker 5 (01:07:47):
Searching.

Speaker 1 (01:07:48):
I feel like y'all don't love me and y'all don't
care about me. That's how it makes me feel. But anyway,
friends and can be sure to share handing my purse
with your friends, your loved ones, and even your enemy
is because the best way for people to find that
about the show is by you guys telling them all
about it. So telephoned to telephone to what telefriend, submit
your questions for the Straight Fact segment. And I need

(01:08:10):
y'all to do this, like I'll really be asking y'all
for a lot. I feel like I'm pouring out and
like yalling helping us sistem out, review the show, rate
the show, submit a question.

Speaker 5 (01:08:24):
It's not a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
I know y'all got questions because I know everybody's lives
is all over because life is life and for everybody,
mercury is in retrograde. We got solar eclipses. It's all
kind of crazy stuff happening. The Breakfast Club interview Candice Owens,
and the toughest question they ask her is if I

(01:08:48):
say God is good, what do you say? Back listen,
life is happening, Okay. Anyway, submit your question for the
Straight Fact segment by clicking on the link in the
show notes that says submit a question for straight facts.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
It's really that simple.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
Or click the link in my Instagram profile and look
for the button that says or that directs you to
submit a question. Your question may be featured on an
upcoming show. Also, remember that show notes are always available
in the episode description. Wherever you are listening to Handy
My Purse, be sure to take a look at the
show notes because that is where I put all of
the links and other information that I mentioned during the

(01:09:27):
show that you may want to check out, in addition
to some stuff that I just want to share with you. Also,
just so you know, the music for Handing My Purse
is provided by none other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy
Tunes Last but Now Links. I want to give a
big old shout out to my producers.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
And then Tailor. Together we make up.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Rando Banjo and the Dirty Throats. Although we're thinking about
changing our name once we solidify that, I'll let you
guys know, I me Walker, look forward to you looking
forward to listening to hand Me my Purse the podcast
each and every Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
And I'm off this bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Piece hand Me my Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
For more shows from iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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No. 89: Self-Deception & Self-Awareness + Missing Out On Living A FULL Life w/Ebony Vaughan - PART ONE.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}No. 89: Self-Deception & Self-Awareness + Missing Out On Living A FULL Life w/Ebony Vaughan - PART ONE.