*RETRO EPISODE* No. 31: Politics in Baltimore City + The Freddie Gray Uprising + Skewed Perceptions & Healing w/Stephanie Rawlings-Blake - Hand Me My Purse.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart podcasts,
What's Up, Friends and Ken. It is the week of
May the fourteenth, and I don't know if you guys
paid attention to this, but usually after Mother's Day, I

(00:21):
need some time to regroup, so I'm gonna drop a
retro episode for you guys. This is episode number thirty
one with my cousin, former Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings Blake,
and it was a very very very very interesting conversation
about her time as the mayor of Baltimore City during

(00:46):
the Freddie Gray riots. So take a listen, enjoy it,
and I will see you back next week with an
awesome conversation with myself and my producers, and together we
make up Rando, Banjo and the Dirty Throat.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
So enjoy episode number one.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
It's a retro episode while I am recouping from Mother's
Day and all of its emotional hardware. And I'll be
right back with you guys next week. It's time to
start wrapping up season.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Fourway I can't see the thing that happened?

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome to hand Me My Purse
the podcast. I am Mimi Walker. And I will be
your forever host each and every single time you tune
into this podcast. So go ahead and get comfortable. Get
yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, whether that's our
alka line water, red kool aid, a hot cup of

(02:03):
tea with honey, a glass of Cabernet, Salvignon or Hannessy,
and light yourself a candle, some incense or burn some
sage and just get ready to chill.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Out and have a good time.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
What's up, friends and ken It is none other than Mimi,
your resident Anti Supreme, here at handing my purse, and
today I am sipping on regular old water. You know,
I think that with outside opening up, you know, I've

(02:48):
been having a good time. And I've said before I'm
vaccinated and I still wear my mask in public, but
I've been having a good time. I've been going out,
not really going out, just communing with my pals and
drinking and having a good time. And quite frankly, I'm

(03:13):
dehydrated and I'm struggling even though it's summertime to consume
enough water, right, And sometimes this is something that I
go through. I find that it's easier for me to
drink water when I'm at home, because I just fill
up like a cup and drink it from a cup. However,
the irony in that is that I own so many

(03:36):
water bottles and I still buy them. I don't stop
buying them because I'm obsessed with buying water bottles. So
I have all these water bottles and I fill them
up and sometimes I take them to work, and sometimes
I don't even drink out of them. Usually I do, though,
but today I'm just drinking water because I'm really trying
to make sure that I maintain optimal hydration. I'm struggling, though,

(04:02):
so if anybody has any suggestions, let me know. Maybe
I need to take a cup and pour from the
water bottle into the cup. That so much like that
is so extra, but you know what, sometimes you gotta
do what you gotta do. Anyway, as I said, I'm
just drinking water today and trying to figure out how

(04:23):
to maintain optimal hydration. Friends and Ken, I am not
sure if I have mentioned the documentary on Netflix, High
on the Hog. Part of me doesn't think that I did,

(04:44):
but you know, everything is running together as of late.
But if you have not watched High on the Hog
on Netflix, please do so, do so, and do it expeditiously. Okay,
not even want to tell you what it's about, but
just go watch it, like, please trust me and believe

(05:05):
that what I say is law when I talk about
this anyway, there's a segment or an episode in the docuseries.
It's a docuseriies, not a documentary about cowboys Black cowboys. Okay.
And so for my black fact for today, which I'm

(05:26):
still playing around with, is that one in four cowboys
was black in spite of the stories that you know,
America would have us believe in the movies and the
TV shows, which my grandmother loves. She loves westerns. Lots
of black people like westerns. Did you guys know that,

(05:48):
like older black people, they love watching westerns. I actually
love a Western film that I used to watch with
my cousin Julia all the time. I think it's called
Whyder That the one. No, it's not Tombstone, that's what
it is. The movie is Tombstone anyway, So I like
that movie. But one in four cowboys were black men,

(06:10):
isn't that amazing? And they believe that the actual Lone
Ranger was inspired by an African American man or black
man named bass Reeves. Bass Reeves was born a slave
but escaped West during the Civil War, where he lived
in what was then known as Indian Territory or shall

(06:34):
I say Native American territory, because that is how you
should say that. So Bassarves eventually became Deputy US Marshall.
He was a master of disguise and expert marksman, had
a Native American companion, his boo was Native American, and
he rode a silver horse. But his story was not unique, apparently,

(06:57):
so there were lots of black cowboys. Of course, they
would never tell us that because again that goes against what,
like I talked about this before, about the great American narrative,
what they want us to believe.

Speaker 5 (07:13):
Right.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
So in High on the Hog they told you, or
they'll tell you, they explained that the actual name, or
the term cowboy, it actually originated as a derogatory term
used to describe black cow hands or black men, or

(07:36):
as they would call them, boys that handled or herded cows.
That is where the word cowboy came from. Just watch
High on the Hog, trust me, it's so worth it.
You will run the gamut of emotions. And if I've
talked about it before. So what because it deserves all
of the talks, especially on this podcast. Go watch it,

(08:00):
Go watch it, Go watch it.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Now let's get into the show.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
Kay, okay, friends and Ken, Hello, Hello, and again welcome
to Hand Me My Purse the podcast. And today I
have a very special guest. I say that every episode,
but this is a very special guest one because she

(08:37):
is my cousin. And you guys know how I arride
for my family, and you guys probably know her. And
if you don't know her, then you should know her.
If you are local and you live in Baltimore, DC, Maryland,
Virginia or the DMV as they call it, you definitely
know her, or national because she is internationally known and

(08:59):
nationally known on the microphone and on the television, especially
on MSNBC. Right, don't play with her. So today I
have my cousin, Stephanie. You guys know her as Stephanie
Rawlings Blake, the former mayor of Baltimore City and.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Like to be known as SRB. SRB. Okay, okay, so
we're gonna want that to stick.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
You wanted to stick? Okay, I think you should. So
I have SRB here, Thank you, And she is.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
I don't have to call you that off the mic, though, No, Okay,
I can just call you Steffy. Pu's some respect on
my name.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
I have SRB the former mayor of Baltimore City here,
and we're gonna have a little chat today.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
And who knows what we're gonna talk about. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
She has no idea and I kind of don't have
an idea either, because I didn't want it to be
a conversation that was super pretentious or planned. I just
wanted to have a conversation with my cousin, who also
has a lot of interesting things to say.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Right.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
So we are drinking today, and we are drinking. She
asked me what I wanted to drink, and we are
drinking kava.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
I think Baba I brought this over.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
Actually he did. He would because he is a very
fancy man. Is so kava is Spanish champagne. You guys know,
I love champagne. I could drink champagne all day, all day,
all night. Of course I would be really really wasted,
But sometimes it's worth it.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
I agree. Do you agree that sometimes it's worthing? What
drinking kava? Drinking? Oh?

Speaker 4 (10:38):
You know, yes, I enjoy a good cocktail. Yes, and
that's that. So first of all, let me make this
very clear. You know how I like, they're like cousins,
like in our community, like it's black cousins, you know,
like cousins that you grew up with on the block.
Your mama's best friends kids are your cousin. The pastors
children are your cousin.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Me and SRB.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
You see what I did. I me and SRB. We
are blood cousins, like blood. My grandfather and her father
were first cousins. My great grandmother and her grandmother were sisters,
and so on and so forth. So we are blood.
We This ain't like a joke. This ain't a game.

(11:21):
This ain't like street cousins. We blood cuts.

Speaker 5 (11:23):
I think I think when we're both made up, I
think people can see it. They all.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
So here's the things SRB. I WASNA, you can call
me whatever. Here's the thing people.

Speaker 4 (11:35):
When I told my friend Lisa, I'm like, oh so,
because I don't really tell people that were related, because
I don't want to have to punch somebody in the
mouth or cut somebody's grandmother out. And I want to
hear what people have to say, just in case I
need to report back now everybody knows the cats out
of the bag, and don't d m me uh asking
any questions asking about dating her or anything less unless

(11:58):
there is a dowry. Include unless you have.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
A dowry and we're gonna split that.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
So when I showed, when I told Lisa, she was like,
oh my god, when we are both like fully made up,
like all glammed up, you can totally see. Yep, you
can totally see. Somebody had said that to you before, No,
you see it? Yeah, yes, I didn't see it, and
I appreciated because I feel like.

Speaker 5 (12:27):
I like having somebody like someone that resembles me in
this world.

Speaker 4 (12:31):
Yes, I agree, And so all my life, all I
ever hear is you look like your father, And it's like, no, shit, exactly,
that's all I've ever heard you look like.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
And and to be fair, I look exactly like my father.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
I actually I am, and I would say the same
about you. I'm like a total mashup of my mother
and my father. But my father's features it's the nose.
My father's nose is very strong, and that is the
dominant fe you're on my face. So when people look
at me, they just say, oh, you look like your dad.
But if you look at my father and my mother
and then you look at me, it's like, oh, you

(13:08):
look like the two of them.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
But I would I think that that is it because
I see it too. When somebody brought it out, they
were like, you look like her and I was like, no,
I don't I look like my father.

Speaker 4 (13:19):
And I was like, wait a minute, we do look alike.
And that's a compliment because.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
You are gorgeous and so are you. Thank you girl.
So it is a pandemic. So let's talk about women
out of them. I'm claiming that we are coming out
of Are you vexed?

Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yes, yes, we are maxed over here because our family
don't play. Okay, we want to live first in line, Yes,
yes we were. I was just like, clear, I was
not first in line. I waited my turn.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
She didn't get any special exemptions because she said, sarb.
Let's just make that clear.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
Yes, because people are funny style, because they come for
you with that for everything. And you know that is
why I don't talk about like me being related to you,
because sometimes people will say things and I mean, you
got it, So if you don't know about what I mean,
when I say she got it. During the Freddie Gray

(14:10):
earlier in this season, I had a gentleman on who
the guy who put the hole in the water holes?
I had him on the show and we talked. And
so if you don't know, like if you're not from
Baltimore or DC, or you didn't follow the Freddie Gray
riots and all the shenanigans happening in Baltimore, google it

(14:32):
and google Stephanie Rowlings Blake Mayor also known as SRB,
and just see like some of the interviews and if
you know, for the hell of it, read some of
the things that people had to say. People had some
really fucked up shit to say about you, and I
did not like it because yeah, so that is another thing,
like you are not very sensitive.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
And it was just like, but people, I think also people.

Speaker 5 (14:56):
Don't like that, Oh that I don't care what they said. Yep,
think that people.

Speaker 4 (15:00):
So that was the thing that I that people would say,
like once you made the comment and about the thugs, right, and.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
So everybody was like, how does she say that?

Speaker 5 (15:09):
I mean?

Speaker 2 (15:09):
But what the fuck I mean? Like, listen there, like
the record reflect, let.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
Clear it up for these motherfuckers. For me, that's funny.
That's what I wanted the name of my book to be.
Let the record reflect.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
It should be. So this is the deal. As long
as you let me do the audio book. Oh that's
a deal. We'll shake, all right, So this is the deal.

Speaker 5 (15:31):
I understand that word choice is important, absolutely, and I
don't as a as an elected official, someone who's responsible
for communicating, you never want the words that you used
to become.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
The message. Right I was. I was communicating that there
were people.

Speaker 5 (15:55):
Not not impoverished, people who were desperate for food or
pamper or things like that.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
That people were driving up to mondin in luxury.

Speaker 5 (16:07):
Vehicles and breaking into the stores that sold luxury goods
and clearing them out and leaving and then selling them
in their neighborhoods.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
And that's it's not good.

Speaker 5 (16:20):
And I think you know, too many people, because it
was popular, tried to paint what happened at mondominant as well.
This is what happens when you have you know, people
that you know that that that don't have access.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
As I'm not, I'm like, I fight every day for
people who don't have access. That's not what this was.

Speaker 5 (16:45):
If you when you when I went and toured Mondominant
with the general manager after the right after the you know,
after the right after everything was looted. Was the one
store that sold necessities looted.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Not one, not one, not one. So that's not what
it was about.

Speaker 5 (17:03):
That's not what it was about. But nobody wants to
you know, like that's not a good story. It's not
a good storyline one.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
And you have somebody has to be blamed, and nobody
target you. Everybody you are, you are everybody. We have
a lot of things in common.

Speaker 5 (17:19):
Really yeah, but yeah, so I'm gonna tak I was,
you know, a target. You know, Black people, you know
made me a target. White people made me a target.
Liberal people made me a target. Conservative people. It was
just like it doesn't It was like, how can everybody
be mad?

Speaker 2 (17:32):
You know what I mean? Like so because you were,
it was easy.

Speaker 5 (17:36):
But what I'm saying is if what the conservative people
said was true, then the liberal people should have been happened, right,
And if what the liberal people were mad about was.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
True, conservative people, you know what I mean, But like it.

Speaker 5 (17:54):
Was so much just just junk thrown and people were
really ignored boring the the reality of this, the facts.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
Right, Yep, the facts. The facts have no plicks. No,
and if you don't, so for you. For those of
you who don't, who aren't local, who aren't familiar. Mon
Dominant is a mall in Baltimore City that is one
of the or at one point, I don't know if
it still is, it was one of the highest grossing malls.
I want to say on the East coast. Mondamin brings

(18:23):
in a lot of money. Yeah, and it is because
a lot of our I don't know how to be
politically correct when I say this, so I'm not a
lot of drug dealers shop there, because there are a
lot of stores that sell like, you know, nice clothing, sneakers, jewelry,

(18:44):
a lot of gold and platinum. You can get grills,
you can get diamonds, you can get all kinds of
things there.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
You can also get Popeye's.

Speaker 5 (18:50):
You can know.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
It's a beauty supply there. So forever twenty one now
there's a long John Silver. It's a place that sell
subs or write aid. So you know it has everything
that the community needs. Really, because you can't if you
want to.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
Be realistic, like the drug dealers are part of the
fucking community. They're there right, so the things that they
need are there.

Speaker 4 (19:10):
So what SRB Boom is saying is that these are
people people who are clearly have money by whatever means.

Speaker 5 (19:19):
They have the money. Yeah, we're showing up to the
mall and in their.

Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yeah, but nobody paid attention to that, showing on TV
and going into Jimmy Jazz and taking all of the
true religion jeans all because trust me, if you are
really poor, first of all, you're gonna take care of
your necessity, so you're gonna make sure you got soap
powdered soap socks, underwear, and then I'm gonna go get
some true religion jeens so I can sell them at

(19:48):
another time. But I'm not showing up in a bends. No,
I'm going to walk or all of us are gonna
pile up, maybe in a car, and we're gonna go.
But people didn't pay attention to that, so everybody had
a lot to say about that.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
So they really gave you a hard time for that comment.
And I mean it made national news.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
And I'll say this, it's understandable, understandable again because it
was it was poor word choice, right, because.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
So let's be clear, people, do you hear what she's saying.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
She's saying and owning because accountability is important and she's
better than me because I probably wouldn't have done this,
But you know what she is, she's saying that it
was poor word choice.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Emotions were high at that time.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
Emotions were high, and I know how hard people work
to get that target.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, including me.

Speaker 5 (20:42):
I know how hard we work to make Mondamin the
mall that people in our community deserve.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
And then to see people who.

Speaker 5 (20:54):
You know, I used, I used word the but you know, opportunists, Yeah,
taking advantage of it.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
And you see what happened. Target is Target is gone.

Speaker 5 (21:04):
Now and there are many there are many national retailers
who have no interest in gusting Baltimore because of what happened.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
So that's interesting you brought that up because I wonder
if that is because, of course, gentrification.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
Is high in Baltimore.

Speaker 4 (21:22):
Gentrification is it's running rampant. But I find it interesting
that Mondomin hasn't been built up as much. Are you
saying that because I'm not really connected to politics. I
don't even watch the news, But is could that be?
Why could what you want like as a result, not

(21:42):
specifically the incident around the Freddie Gray poplah or the
you know, the riots or the what they call it,
the uprising. That's what it's called, not because of the uprising,
but because there's a potential or possible ability for that
kind of you know, destruction.

Speaker 5 (22:04):
So it's so so private companies choose where they want
to open.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
They're not doing a public service. They're there to make money.

Speaker 5 (22:15):
Money, And that's why we had to fight so hard
to get that target there, because target has options and
clearly they they said, yes, we have options, and so
so yes, when stuff like that happens, people make business decisions,
and too many times our community comes up short. And

(22:39):
you know, that's why it frustrates me when I like
the excuse me, after the depth of George Floyd, I
would hear commentators say, well, those businesses have insurance, it's
just property. Those businesses have insurance. But for the people
who actually live in those community that had a target

(23:00):
that they could walk to, now what do they have nothing?

Speaker 2 (23:05):
You know, people who.

Speaker 5 (23:06):
A lot of the stores, the small stores that were looted,
a lot of those have not did not have back.
So the people who live in those communities that relied
on those resources, those resources. Those resources are gone, so
you know, I think people are very flippant when they
talk about property damage and they try to turn it

(23:28):
into a you care more about property than people than people. No,
I care about the people who actually lived. They're not
the ones who hopped in because they wanted to get
on TV, right, you know, or they or they were
really upset and and we're I think choosing a non

(23:48):
productive way to.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Express play up their their rage.

Speaker 5 (23:54):
And they did it at our expense, right, because it
happens over and over again to to poor communities. It
was you know, we're they're exploited absolutely, so you know,
and it can be by people that look like us.
It can be by people that don't look like us,
but we're we don't want to call it out.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
For what it is. Well, I think I fitness people
that look like us. I feel I, oh, well, I
didn't know that's what you want to say, but I agree.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
And so I am the kind of person I feel
like holding people accountable, no matter who they are, if
they are our elders, because that is.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
A big looking at me like that when.

Speaker 5 (24:33):
Offended, I'm off, don't be okay, you know, because you
look real hard I did.

Speaker 4 (24:40):
My eyes got big, but I think it's because I've
been drinking, like the COVA is starting to like.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
No, I didn't mean like that, but that's what you said.

Speaker 4 (24:48):
I'm sorry, and that is what I said that that
was not intention versus impact. I'm learned about that impacted
me in your chest.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
I know.

Speaker 4 (24:56):
I wish you could have saw her face and I
did not mean it that way. Okay, because you are
older than me, but I will not call you my elder.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
You don't look older than me. Let's talk.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
Yeah, just move on because I can't because I'm trying
to make it better and it's not worth now. So
I feel like in our community, certain things we don't
want to hold people accountable for. And so what I
was saying is something that I come across a lot,
is that we don't like to hold our elders accountable.
Oh that's hard, but I am in a space where
you have to, like you have to because that is

(25:31):
how you break generational purses by letting everybody know that, Like,
everybody has to be held accountable around the table.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
So even if they it is people that look like us.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
I remember during the time when the riots are the uprising.

Speaker 5 (25:45):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (25:45):
I do know the difference because I read it on
the episode. I want to say it was episode twenty
one when I had Greg Butler on and we talked
about the Freddie Gray uprising. I read the difference between
the uprising and the riot.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
But when the.

Speaker 4 (26:00):
George Floyd riots or booting, what's happening? So many people
were speaking out that lived in the community talked about
how these.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
People don't live here. But all across the nation, people
I remember reading in New York people were saying, like,
these people don't even live here.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
These people are driving miles tens and twenty and hundreds
of miles to come here and destroy our communities.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
And then they leave and they go back to where
they live, where there is a target, where there is
a you.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
Know, wants to tell that story, No, but somebody should
because that's it's not right. And then these people are left.
Unfortunately that story is not marketable.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
No, it's not well.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
And then then you get into the whole like and
you work with like big media. If it's not let's
talk about that for a second. How does that work?
So I don't watch the news, and I don't watch
the news because I feel like it is very fear focused,
and it is focused conflict focus, and it's very white,

(27:03):
Like I feel like it's really really white, and I
feel like that is a way fear.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Is used to keep.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
Specifically disenfranchised people at bay right, and so like case
in point, every day on the news there's scary news
about the coronavirus seven hundred and fifty million cases of
coronavirus and cats their toenails are fallen off.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Will your cat be next? Oh my god, my.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
Cat's gonna get coronavirus in it's to Now. I better
go get them some coronavirus toenail cream. Like I think
that is like psychological abuse. But I feel like that's
what happens specifically in this country. I don't really pay
attention to the news when I go out of the
country because I'm probably enjoying my vacations. But in this
country that happens so much. How does that work and

(27:52):
how do we change that? We don't, so I think
it's hard to change, Yeah, because.

Speaker 5 (28:00):
It's a little you know, like what comes first the
chicken or dead right, you know, like the the the
particularly cable news that has to fill up twenty four hours.
They're desperate for content. And you know, when when you're

(28:20):
desperate for content, I mean, your your your actions speak
for us for themselves. So like CNN, I remember having
had a curfew countdown clock in Baltimore during that and
in different parts of the city they had this countdown
clock and they would they were standing different people around,

(28:41):
like waiting for something to pop off, and then closer
it got to the countdown and it was like popping off,
they would they would say, the curfew was in five minutes.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
How does that make you think?

Speaker 5 (28:54):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
It was like and it's so you know, it's it's desperate.

Speaker 5 (28:59):
So you know, I get it because they you know,
it's like they're not they're not selling anything that people
aren't buying, do you know what I mean? People are
buying clickbait, people are buying drama, and so as long

(29:19):
as people are buying drama, they're going to sell it.
And then are they people buying drama because they're selling it,
or they selling.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
Drama because people are buying it? You know what I mean?
I can't answer that question, but.

Speaker 5 (29:32):
The the reality is what it is.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
You know, that's what people are drawn to.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
Even though it is fear based, and it is very white,
and it is clickbait.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
And it is drama.

Speaker 4 (29:46):
People love it, like there are people who keep the
channel on the news constantly.

Speaker 5 (29:53):
By during the pandemic, I was very addicted to and
it's it's so funny because now that because I realized
that wasn't healthy, I've been purposefully, you know, not like
just having television on in the background of every room.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Right, I've been, and it it will hit me.

Speaker 5 (30:15):
I'm like, you know what, you haven't watched the news,
you know, all day and you were okay.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
I feel like people don't pay attention to how intentional
you have to be about like your peace of mind.
And so I talk about like healing and all that
stuff on this show all the time, and Black people's
healing and trauma healing is really important, and I feel
like if we step away from that, because the news
is not really for our joy. No, no, it's not

(30:44):
for and I mean holistically as a human race. The
news is not for our joy, but for black people,
the news is definitely not for our joy because the news.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Is focused on all you gotta do is watch the news.

Speaker 4 (30:57):
I'm not even gonna say what it's focused on Just
watch it and you will see you don't see a
lot of things about that would make you happy.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
As a black person in America. It's not a lot
of things that make you excited or make you happy
or make you chill. You're right.

Speaker 5 (31:11):
I mean when I say it's strange, and then I'm
thinking about, well, where can you find that content?

Speaker 2 (31:17):
I'm struggling. Yeah, I got nothing.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
I can't even think about anything on like the black
like black channels or and maybe I'm just not tapped
in because I just don't watch a lot of news.
But when it comes to news, like I don't, there's
not a lot of I will say, when so, Marty
Bass in the morning time, when I did used to
watch the news, like in the morning when I would
be getting ready for work, when I was in my twenties,

(31:40):
that was exciting.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
It would be Maybe morning news is joyful.

Speaker 4 (31:45):
So they talk about the weather, they have local people
coming on talking about their businesses.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
They have I think pictures of puppies.

Speaker 4 (31:51):
They bring puppies on, and I wonder if new stations
are intentional about that.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, start your day off right, Yeah, Marty Bass was funny.
Bob Turk Will talk about the weather.

Speaker 4 (32:02):
There was banter in the newsroom, but by the time
you get to the foum five o'clock news, there's no banter.
It's all about this is going on, danger, danger, Will Robinson.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
It's hot, You're gonna melt. Please be careful. You know.
It's no like joy.

Speaker 4 (32:18):
And I don't understand why people continue to I mean,
I get wanting to be informed, but I don't understand
why people are not intentional about that.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Well, I'll say this about wanting to be informed.

Speaker 5 (32:30):
What I think what has happened in the news because
people have so many choices about how they can be informed.
The level of clickbait on the big news has increased
because people have more options. Like when I was growing up,
you had three options, you know, ABC.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
AC, NBC, it is CBS, that's all. Yeah, two eleven
to thirteen, right, that's all and you mate that much.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
But now that there's so many options for whateople are
getting news, you know, like I said, desperate, desperate times.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
It's desperate measures.

Speaker 5 (33:05):
People are trying desperately to get their share of eyeballs.
And that's why, you know, I think the news is
what it is.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
Well, I'm glad you took a step away over the pandemic. Yeah, yeah,
because it's the pandemic was hard.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
It was horrible. Yeah, it was hard. Every day.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
Nineteen million people have died from the pandemic. Nineteen million
one people have done like every day and it's like.

Speaker 5 (33:44):
Was horrible and you know we lost you know, family
members and that was it was rough.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
And have friends that have lost their parents. Yeah, and
not that.

Speaker 5 (33:57):
The losses are all COVID really related, like you know,
they had COVID and.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Pasted, but it happened during COVID.

Speaker 5 (34:04):
It happened during COVID, and so many people we know
did not seek medical attention during COVID because.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Because of COVID, right, because of the restrictions.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
And then also so once the family members did pass
away or once people do pass away, the way that
you come together as a family or as a community
around the celebration of the person's life, because black people
will do that, like it'll be a funeral, but we
will come together as a celebration of life that even
looked different.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
So it's just.

Speaker 5 (34:37):
Like trauma on trauma on trauma, because it's just like
it's bad enough that people are getting we feel like
you're being robbed yep of you know, this life, but
now you're robbed of what you think they deserve yep,
in their death.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
How about that? Yeah? So it was.

Speaker 4 (34:53):
It was rough and in addition to that, like I said,
robbed of the opportunity to commune with the people who
who we all love, these people to grieve together, which
is important for healing. Yeah, COVID sucks. It is people
are outside I am, and we don't have on masks.

(35:13):
I know, how about that? That's fancy. I brought one
just in case you're gonna tell me that I was
gonna have to do that.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
I mean, I just you know, you just don't know
what people are gonna say. I don't know.

Speaker 5 (35:24):
I don't know what you thought was going on over here.
You wanted to kick a shoe. You thought I was
gonna make you take a shoes. Well, when you're come
in my apartment, people take their shoes off.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Yeah. I am one of those.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
So we talked about the Freddie Gray BackFlash and how
people were not really pleased with what you said. I
stood by you and what you what you said, it's
like that Instagram mean, yes, she mine and I'm a
stick beside her, she mine, and I'm a stick beside
she said what she said?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Were they acting like that? Yes? They were.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
Was it not the best choice of words? Maybe not,
but you know what she meant, leave her alone? But
how did all of that? How did how did I become.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
Mayor become the mayor of Baltimore City.

Speaker 5 (36:04):
So, you know, I grew up my dad was in politics,
so when I was little, like, I wanted to be
in politics from when I was in elementary school. So
I went straight up, you know, like middle school, high school, college, all.
I was in student government all throughout, in young Democrats.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
I ran for office when I was twenty.

Speaker 5 (36:23):
I was still in college and I ran for office
to be on the state Central Committee and one okay, and.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
So we winners over here.

Speaker 5 (36:33):
So so you know, I went to Oberlin, came back home,
went to University of Maryland Ward Law School. And the
year that I graduated was ninety five, and it was
a local elections and in my home district, two out
of the three council members were not seeking re election,
and that's never happened. There is a power of incumbency,

(36:56):
and most times people take advantage of it. Yeah, and so,
so I knew that I always wanted to run for office.
So I felt like this, this opportunity doesn't come along often.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Why not.

Speaker 5 (37:11):
So while the rest of my classmates were running, I mean,
we're taking the bar. I eventually took it like a
couple months later, but like I was running for office.
So I ran for office right out of law school.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Became the youngest person elected to the city Council. After
I was elected, do you still hold that title? Yep.

Speaker 5 (37:29):
Mayor Scott likes to make the ask. It's getting spicy,
said again that Mayor Scott likes to make the distinction
that he was the youngest one in when they were
single member districts. Okay, that is a distinction that I
do not believe matters in the world because multi member

(37:52):
districts or single member districts.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
I was still younger than him. She was the youngest.
She was fresh out of law school.

Speaker 5 (37:59):
Yeah, so that being said as she flips her hair,
that being set. So yeah, So I became the city
council person, city council vice president. After Martina Mallan became mayor,
he I was his floor leader. And then when he
became governor, Shila Dixon became the mayor, and then the

(38:21):
council elected me as council president. And once I was
council president, Shila Dixon had the former mayor had gotten
in some legal jeopardy and after she was found guilty,
I like.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
How you said that. I love when I have people on.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
When I had doctor Gina Page on, she taught me
so many new terms, like new neighbors translation, the white
people with gentrified black neighborhoods, they're called new neighbors.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
I love that.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
People colleagues, she called colleagues like competitors, like not really competitors,
because African Ancestry was the first, but other companies that
are doing the same thing, they're not competitors, they're colleagues.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
I said, I like that. So now we are saying
legal jeopardy.

Speaker 5 (39:08):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
So which was a crazy cris that.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
Was wild and I'm not really into politics, but I
was like, ooh, sis, it's going down.

Speaker 5 (39:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
It was rough, it was bad. It was hard to
watch as a black woman, even though I was like
a young black woman, Like, it was hard to watch
because you.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
Don't want to see the good cis going down like that.
And same thing with Katherine Pugh like it was.

Speaker 5 (39:31):
It was. It was hard for me because my father
was Ma Dixon's, one of one of her mentors. She lived,
you know, like I her her mother lived like a
couple of houses away. So I've known her my entire life,
and you know, when that stuff went down with her
for some reason, I just, again, like we talked about

(39:53):
this before, I feel like I'm just an easy target
because you know, she treated me like I.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
Was a prosecutor and like stopped speaking to me. Wow. Yeah,
So it was hurtful.

Speaker 5 (40:05):
Hurt people, hurt people. Yeah, and I'll just stopped there
and I'll say this. I mean, I got over it
because I knew it.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
It wasn't rational.

Speaker 5 (40:15):
But the way that it manifested itself in a way
that impacted the city was I found out that she
was resigning when everybody else did. I was downstairs in
the basement on the treadmill, and I got a call
from my office and I was on a treadmill, and
I didn't want to be on there in the first place,
in the first place, but I was, so when they called,

(40:38):
I was ignoring the calls because I was like, if
I take the call and I'm gonna get off.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
The treadmill and whatever, and I'm focused on right. So
call call, Call, call, and I was like, oh, something's
going on. They were like, you need to be down
here in thirty minutes. The mayor's about to resign. And
you were like, what the fuck? And that's what it
felt like just saying it. Now I have goosebum. I
was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 5 (40:58):
Like, how do you not give somebody that heads up
that they're gonna be mayor in thirty days of a
city with a two point four billion dollar budget? You know,
you know what I'm saying. But like all of the things.
But anyway, so that's how I became there. And then
I ran for office in one.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Yeah she did run for office in one and so
what made you decide not to run for office again?

Speaker 5 (41:26):
So it was interesting, a lot of things and so
many different factors, but the.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
To boil it down, so I was on a conveyor belt.

Speaker 5 (41:38):
And I think it appears to me, or it seems
to me that a lot of elected officials are meaning
you run for office the first time and then every
other time is because an election is coming up, right,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (41:53):
So it wasn't. I didn't.

Speaker 5 (41:55):
I made the decision to run the first time and
never questioned after that, Right, it was okay, there's an election,
you gotta run again. Like I never, I never gave
myself permission to think about if this is what I
wanted to continue to do.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Oh wait.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
So it's interesting that you said that, because that's a
conversation that I'm a therapist and I we talk about
giving yourself permission to enjoy your life, giving yourself permission
to do the things that you want to do and
to not do the things you don't want to do,
even if it means that people will be disappointed in you,
if they won't like it, if it's not what they expect,

(42:39):
if it's not what they want for you.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Right. And so.

Speaker 4 (42:44):
It's interesting that you say that, because when I think
about like living, you know, people out said about living
your best life. I think that that is tied into
living your best life, giving yourself permission to one do
the things you want to do and to not do
the things you don't want to do, but to enjoy it.

Speaker 5 (43:01):
And so, and I want to be crystal clear, I
loved being mayor. That's not what I'm saying no, no, absolutely.
But what happened was it was an election year. It
was coming up to an election year, and I was
in the position of having to choose because you only
get twenty four hours a day, right, and you run
for mayor of a big city. It takes a lot

(43:22):
of money to run a campaign. So I was being
forced to choose how I spent those twenty four hours,
and a lot of that time when you're gearing up
for an election is being on the phone begging for money.
Or they call it fundraising, but it begging beney, and
I was, you know, every when I was sitting there,
you know, going through the call log, going through the

(43:44):
books you have, you know, you have all these calls.
When I was sitting there, I was feeling like I
was cheating the city because, like, you know, we had
stuff going on, you know what I mean, it was
a full time city, right, and it was and we
it felt like we were still in crisis. And I
felt like it was weighing on my spirit.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
And I said, you know, it's interesting.

Speaker 5 (44:07):
I was at New Shiloh and I asked. I was
at a with the first lady in a prayer circle,
and we were you know, I went to meetings at
churches a lot, and the women people talking about what
they wanted us to, you know, pray for this, pray
for this, pray for this. Da da and Monique asked me,

(44:31):
you've talked about all of the issues you know that
the city has, and you know all the things that
you want us to pray for for the city.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
What about you?

Speaker 5 (44:40):
What do you want us to pray for for you?
And I remember, like it just came out.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
Of my mouth.

Speaker 5 (44:46):
I said, discernment. I said, because I knew I was conflicted.
I knew that I took up I didn't take an
oath to run for office. Do you see what I'm saying.
I took an oath to be men. And those two
things were conflicting, Like in that same twenty four hours,
I couldn't do what I needed to do to be
mayor if my focus was on running running a campaign

(45:08):
to be again right and so, And that's when it
became clear, I bet you know, I asked them to
pray for discernment. And that's what I saw, that that
those things were in conflict, and I.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Had to choose the thing that I took an oath
to do. Right, which was to be a mayor and
to be dedicated to the city right so and to
have it and to give it my all and to
be okay with that. I feel like a lot of
politicians don't do that.

Speaker 5 (45:33):
A lot of people are very identify, identify, very strongly
with what they do. And when you do that, you
have a it becomes harder to make decisions that could
be in your entire best interest because like for me,

(45:57):
like being like, you know, people can say what they
want about me, and you know they do.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
I don't care. But like I being mayor was what
I did. It wasn't who I was.

Speaker 5 (46:11):
That's not who I am, That's not how I roll.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Like. It was so crazy.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
I was at a restaurant a couple of days ago
and rolled in with some friends and was sitting down
and this woman was just like it was a bunch
of us.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
She was like, can I give you know, you want
my stool right now?

Speaker 5 (46:26):
You know, I know I got the rest in Big Das,
but you know I was pleasant when.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
I walked in.

Speaker 5 (46:30):
Yeah, So I was just like her, she's being nice
and she so she gives me the stool and she
was like, you can have my stool, but you can't
have my space.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
I don't care who you are.

Speaker 5 (46:39):
And I was like, I don't know who you are,
and I do not assume that you know who I am.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
I am a chick with a bunch of friends come
and wants to sit at the bar right right.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
So like, so what I'm saying is like I don't
roll anywhere with that energy, you know what I mean, Like,
look at me, this is.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Me, da let me in because that's not my thing.
So if anything, I would say that you're like the opposite, right,
You're very low to the brand.

Speaker 5 (47:03):
Yeah. So when I'm saying that to say, if you
if I thought that I, like my identity was tied
up in being mayor, I don't know if I could
have made that decision right or you know what I
mean like that, But but because I felt very comfortable
that I was Stephanie who happened to be mayor, like

(47:23):
I was going to be Stephanie's right, that did something
else as.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
R be doing something after, you know what I mean.
So a lot of a lot of people and I
say I.

Speaker 5 (47:35):
Took it out of just elected the future because I
think it's the same with a lot of I agree,
people are way too tied up in what they do.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
I don't even I would just say they're what their.

Speaker 4 (47:48):
Assumed role is just in in life or in their society,
and there in society, in their community and their family
and their sororities.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
And their fraternities.

Speaker 4 (47:59):
I think a lot of times people get wrapped up
into that, and that's where people get shit fucked up,
just quite frankly, like I mean, like I think people.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
So I have a friend and she is in a sorority, right,
and I am not in a.

Speaker 4 (48:17):
Sorority, So I'm not gonna say it's not it's not actually,
and so when I go places with her as someone
who is not green, it's really interesting because I get
to like watch and I told her, I said, it's

(48:38):
interesting because I can just tell just by watching people
that everybody pledges for different reasons. So, but not just
to make this about sororities and fraternities, but everybody does
things for different Different people run for office for different reasons, right,
Different women wear their hair certain ways or where certain
outfits for different reasons. Certain men buy certain cars for
different reasons. Everybody does things for reasons. I think that

(49:01):
what happens is that, And to me this is wrapped
up into like living an authentic life.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
People don't live as themselves first.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
So for me, I am Mimi first, and then I
am the host of this podcast. I am Memi and
you are SRB and we are cousins first, and then
we are.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
On this show together. You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
I think people take the humanity out of their everyday
life just because they want to be a thing, whatever
the title is or whatever the thing is. And so
if it is mayor when I see mayors or politicians
that are a little bit rogue.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Even though I fully.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
Despise the former president of the United States, one thing
I gotta say is that he is him first. So
all of the nasty, all of the racists, all of
the chauvinistic pig whatever, he is the biggot.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
That is who he is first.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
Because he's a narcissist and he's an egomaniac. He is
going to be first himself and then he'll be the
president of the United States. So I think that a
lot of people don't do that, and I commend you
for saying women.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
I'm Stephanie first, then.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
I am the mayor of Baltimore, city, and if I
am being true to myself, this is not aligning with
my life or with what I want for my life.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Yeah, because people don't do that. They don't you shout
out to you.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
It takes a lot of courage to walk away from
things that so many people covet right, because everybody wants
to be Everybody wants to be a politician.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
Everybody wants to be the mayor.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
Everybody wants to be a president, the governor, this, the councilman,
the president.

Speaker 5 (50:46):
Of the But let me just put it out there,
usher board, let me just say this, there's a big
difference between being and doing.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Absolutely and I will be clear.

Speaker 5 (50:57):
In my life, I don't think I've ever told anyone
I wanted to be the mayor.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
You want to do the job of the mayor.

Speaker 5 (51:05):
But I mean, but any any moment, so any other
position that I've held. And it's so interesting when when
I hear people talk about, you know, elections and wanting
to run for office. When I and I hear it,
do you understand what I'm saying? You can when you
hear someone say I've always wanted to be the mayor,

(51:28):
you got to listen to that. Because the second they
take that oath, their goal has been accomplished. So I'm
not but but you're not saying that they won't show up.
But but what I'm saying is it's a it's different.
I get it's different. It's different because after you, you know,
like once once that goal is meant, like, your priorities

(51:54):
are shift, you know what I mean, if you've and
you may not have even set a goal for after that,
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, right, it's like, all right,
I made it now, right, mama, I made it right? Now?

Speaker 2 (52:04):
What right?

Speaker 4 (52:05):
And if you don't have the right people in your camp,
you don't have the right people supporting you, shit can
go left real quick.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
Yeah, yeah, I get that that makes sense. But I
think that a lot of times people don't.

Speaker 4 (52:17):
And I say these things, and I say this all
the time on this show, that you know, self love
and living authentically, like all that shit sounds really good
coming out of somebody's mouths.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
And people will tell you, oh, I love me and
I'm dah da da dah.

Speaker 4 (52:31):
But the truth of the matter is that in practice
that shit is majorly difficult. I say almost every episode,
healing and working on yourself and trying to be the
best version of yourself today, not even holistically, because I
can't even think I'm working on this in therapy.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
I worry too much about what's gonna happen tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (52:50):
But today, if I'm working on being the best mem
I can be, Like, the shit is hard in practice.

Speaker 5 (52:57):
So you worry about tomorrow more than the past.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yes, which is a major flip of my.

Speaker 4 (53:05):
Younger days, because my younger days I was so wrapped
up in the past. How I got to where I was,
what happened to me? Who did what? Why did they
do this? Why do I feel like this? What's happening?
And now I'm I think as a result of me
trying to control outcomes because I didn't have any control
in the past. I'm really focused on what's happening down

(53:26):
the street, or not down the street, but down the road.
And all that time i'm doing that, I'm not really
focused on the present and how beautiful life is for
me right now. So that is what I'm really really
my therapist. My therapist is I say this all she
does the work of God in my life.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
Oh God, have mercy.

Speaker 5 (53:44):
If you hear the same criticism repeatedly, I don't think
it's a bad thing to think about where that's coming from. Absolutely,
And if there is something, if you can learn something,
or if there's something for you to learn or something
for you to investigate in your life based on that.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
That you should reflect. Absolutely.

Speaker 5 (54:07):
Like, you know, I had to force myself to smile more.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
Right, because that is something that people have said about, yes,
which is so silly. Yeah, so silly.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
But you know, I feel like, you know, there's this
whole campaign now about like men telling women to smile
or like people telling women to smile. I't fallen that
bracket of people of women who just I don't walk
around smiling.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
So I had a conversation with this girl.

Speaker 5 (54:41):
She was like in fourth or fifth grade, and I'm
sure she was repeating something her mother said, talk about,
you know, why don't you smile? Well, you know, and
I said, that's an interesting question. I said, let me
just help, let me just see. I said, what's your
hardest class except math? I said, when you're in math
class and you're working on a problem, you're trying to

(55:02):
sort it out.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
I said, what's your face doing? He says, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (55:07):
I said, well that's why, because you're working and you're thinking, right,
and you're not thinking about what your face is doing.
I said, I have a very complex job that I
think about a lot, and I'm very.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
Like that is my primary focus.

Speaker 5 (55:22):
And when I'm focused on doing my work, I'm not
focused on what on what my face is doing. I says,
does that make sense to you? But you know that's
how I knew that. Her mama told her.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
You know, she was a peace She's like, no.

Speaker 4 (55:32):
No, you like, I don't care what you take because
my mother say, I don't even care what you're says,
are big they or lady, because my mother said, you
don't smile and you look mean all the time, and
that's why you're not a good man.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
And you mean you don't like people. Miss have several seats.
But you were a serio saying look.

Speaker 5 (55:54):
But but however, just like I said earlier about the
poor choice of words, what I realized because I used
to get so angry about it.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
Yeah, and I was just.

Speaker 5 (56:04):
Like, leave me alone with you. If I was a man,
you wouldn't say this. No, I would just leave me alone.
I'm doing my work. Judge me all day on my work.
Look at the number of jobs that I've created in
the city. Look at the developments I've created, low income housing,
billion dollars in school construction, Like the highest bond rating
the city's had in forty years, the lowest crime rating

(56:25):
the cities had in thirty something years, like.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
Two years in a row. God, I forbid they do
that because they don't know. They don't want to do that, right,
Like you know, all of the all of the things,
do you know what I mean? Like judge me on
that I don't want.

Speaker 5 (56:37):
Anybody to vote for me because of my you know
what they perceived my personality that right, you know, Judge
me on my work, because that's what I was focused
on the work. But but I say that to say,
reflect on the on the on what people say.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
And so I didn't know.

Speaker 5 (56:53):
But what I'm saying is, once I really, once I
stopped being mad about it and just realized that people
like they're telling you what they need from you, do
you know what I mean? So people like they wanted
to when people saw you, see the mayor, they want
to feel like things are okay. Oh absolutely, And so

(57:13):
I realized that it wasn't you know, they want Stephanie
to smile.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
They want the.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
Mayor to look like approachable and right, and so that
is something that I would hear about you all the time.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
She looks so mean.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
She's not a people person, and she doesn't And I'm like,
first of all, you don't really know her.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
You don't know her family. I've said this before.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
I didn't say that I am in her family, but
I was like, you don't know where she comes from.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
You don't know her family. I said, if you knew
anything about her and you knew her father, you would know.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
That he didn't do a lot of smiling either. Do
your research, look him up. It's not what he does,
it's not what he did. And so absolutely, and so
I just feel like, like I said earlier, people just
need somebody to blame. Yeah, people need somebody to just
dump all the ship on. As far as my therapist,

(58:03):
I think that the way that I speak about her
is like she's like a fairy with sparkles and she
just comes and sprinkles them on me. But that's because
that's what I choose to share, don't I don't talk
about when I'm crying in therapy. I don't talk about
when she says things that I don't like and I
fall out and throw tantrums in therapy because that happens.

(58:27):
It happened yesterday, I throw tantrums, or I will tell
her I don't fucking like that, Like I'll tell her.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
That, and we talk through that.

Speaker 4 (58:34):
So I don't really talk about like it's just like
when you get a new boyfriend, right, and it's like
I don't either I haven't been had a boyfriend, or
you start talking to any guy, right, and so you're
talking and that's something else people want to know about
who you're dating or whatever. We're not gonna get it
in that because it's none of your fucking business. So
people are like, you know, when you start dating somebody
who are like a friend and they're like, oh my god,

(58:55):
he's so nice, and oh he smells so good and
oh he got four kids, but he's such a good dad.
Out he said, and he drives tracking trailers and he did.
All you hear is the good stuff. So you're like,
oh my god, he sounds like he's so awesome and
the right and then when when the bottom drops or
you're like what, no, not him, or you're just like

(59:15):
some about this no sound right, because you're in she's
telling you what she wants you to know, right, or
she's still in the honeymoon phase. I don't think that
my therapist and I are in a honeymoon phase. I
don't think that that really, Like it's we're a year
and a half into this, so I don't think that's it.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
But like, I don't think.

Speaker 5 (59:33):
That you should be done seeing a therapist fun now,
I'll never be done. No, no, no, But I'm just so.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
I don't know, because I think that people approach healing
in different ways. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, some people
feel like, all right, you go to a therapy.

Speaker 5 (59:47):
Not saying this is right or wrong, but like, Okay,
you're having this problem, you go, you go for this
this thing. It's almost like physical therapy, right, not mental therapy, absolutely, you.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (59:56):
And once your feels better, you should be like you
should not be going to the physical therapy.

Speaker 4 (01:00:01):
Your knee is straight, yeah, you don't have to use
your cane nom right, you should be. I do feel
like some people approach therapy in that way. I don't
because I am no, because I know that even though
I look like I hold it all together, I am
a right and there are years and years of trauma
that I'm trying to heal, and I think that it

(01:00:24):
should be a federal mandate. I think that all Americans, yes,
white and black, especially black Americans, but white.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
People need some therapy for being white. They need mandated
therapy for understanding that therapy about being white. They would
not be so angry about critical race theory. Oh they're
so mad about that. But they gave us judent teenth.
Praise God, isn't that kind? Wasn't that kind? That happened?

(01:00:54):
It was so quick. I don't I don't even know
how to feel how well.

Speaker 4 (01:01:00):
I just think it's I didn't talk about it, but
I just think it's such a crop of bullshit.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
So you want to have the Juneteenth? Okay, we black
people have been having.

Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
Juneteen celebrations for decades, for years, so I'm just yeah,
but now you want to give it to us, and
not to say that we don't want it or we
didn't want it to be fair though I have white friends.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
How about a voting rights at like that what you
know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
Or how about you give us the same fucking bill
you gave Asian people. Look, that would be very kind,
that would be very kind.

Speaker 4 (01:01:34):
But I just think that I think that until last year,
a lot of black people, to be fair, but definitely
a shit on white people didn't even know that Juneteenth
was a thing.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
I had a friend because, you know, contrary people believe,
I have lots of white friends. And one of my
white friends said, like, I want to be really honest
with you. He was like, so, like it's just.

Speaker 4 (01:02:00):
Become a thing because I've never heard about this in
my life, and you know, like I've dated black women,
I have lots of black friends. You know, like I
understand like a lot, you know, I get the whole
concept of white privilege, and you know, like I feel like,
you know, I know not everything, but I know things
about like black culture. He said, I've never heard this
about anything about this. I said, because we don't want

(01:02:22):
you to.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
I said, because it's not for you to know about
I said, contrary to popular belief, you guys don't know
everything about us. I said, this is ours, and now
it's not anymore. Now it is a shared experience.

Speaker 5 (01:02:36):
Wait until next k teenth. I'm getting my mattress. I'm
just gonna go buy a card. Yea.

Speaker 4 (01:02:42):
They oh, they're gonna be June Teeth sales. It's gonna happen,
and so now it'll be bastardized, and you know, it
is what it is, and I think that we should
still have whatever celebrations and do whatever we want our
way and just let it go. So what do you
think about the mayor and how they've done the mayors
that have succeeded you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
So, what's your favorite color? Magenta? Guy to the game
play that went? Okay, Sor, our favorite color is magenta,
and we're gonna move on because we're not going to
talk about that. You know what, This is a good question.
This is I'll say this. You don't have to. I'll
say this.

Speaker 5 (01:03:20):
I am so, so very proud of Mayor Scott. When
I was running for a city council president, he was
my he was a campaign worker for me, and I
saw in him what he is today, good and he
I saw in him the same passion about the city

(01:03:43):
that I had and the willingness to do.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
The work because that's what it's really about. And so
I'm very very proud of him.

Speaker 4 (01:03:51):
Okay, what do you think because Baltimore, Baltimore. When I
first moved back from California. I went to Morgan and
I was there, and then after a while, I was
just like, this city is rough. And I lived in Compton, California,

(01:04:12):
and I you know, there are areas of southern California
that I have never even been to, but I lived
in Compton.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
You know, me and my family we would.

Speaker 4 (01:04:20):
Frequent, frequent South central Los Angeles, like we would you know,
like we didn't live in South central LA. But like
I don't know much about the burbs of LA.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
Baltimore's a rough town. Baltimore is a rough city.

Speaker 4 (01:04:34):
And I would say I love I love Baltimore, and
part of me loves it. Most of me loves it
because it is in my bones, like it is who
When I tell people that I grew up in California,
I used to live there, they always assume that I
have family that's from there. No, I am a Baltimore

(01:04:54):
girl through and through. All of my family in California.
They moved there, and then maybe they stayed. It stuck
and they started roots there and maybe their kids and
their grandkids were born there. But the roots are here
on both sides of my family. I love this city,
but God, I hate this city and when I say

(01:05:16):
I hate this city, I don't mean that I hate
this city.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
I hate.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
Not even just the people. I feel like there is
just a cloak. I remember saying this. I was young
when I said it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
I feel like there's a big cloak or a cloud
of like hopelessness and helplessness and defeat that just covers
the entire city black and white.

Speaker 4 (01:05:44):
It makes me so sad. I had to literally talk
to my therapist about it. I've said this on the show.
During the pandemic, my team at the school where I work,
we had to do home visits because if kids were
not logging on, kids were like, fucking we ain't doing
no work. And I think that was a national issue.
But we had to do home visits and it reminded

(01:06:06):
me of why I did not hang out or like
I don't really hang out. You won't catch me like
just in the city for no reason. It's so fucking depressing,
just the vacant houses alone, Like how do we bounce
back from that?

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Do we can? We? Something needs to be done?

Speaker 5 (01:06:26):
And I feel like there are so many people that
are doing work in this city.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
I know that there are, so yes, there are, but.

Speaker 5 (01:06:32):
The challenge we talked about this with the news, like
it's so hard for people to want to hear the
good things that are happening yea in Baltimore. And it's
it's just like with the vacant houses. When I was mayor,
I created Vacance to Value.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
Look it up.

Speaker 5 (01:06:47):
It was it got like not just national claim, but
international claim for urban redevelopment.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
I'm very proud of that Vacance to Value.

Speaker 5 (01:06:55):
It's it's the plan I developed that's still in place
to to create incentives for people to buy in the
city and disincentives for people to maintain neglect at homes. Okay, so,
and that's just that's part of it, right right. So,
but that being said, the.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Success stories about that it's.

Speaker 5 (01:07:18):
So hard, like it's and it's hard for so many
reasons because like it's it's almost like if you when
will you tell some Baltimoreans about something good, It's almost
like they they accept what you're saying or receive what
you're saying as well.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
You don't see the rest of the problem.

Speaker 5 (01:07:36):
Oh no, I see the rest of the problem, and
I'm working on it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
And this is.

Speaker 5 (01:07:40):
Something good that we're you know, that is on the
path it's like they it's like they some people, it's
just like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
They have they hold on.

Speaker 4 (01:07:48):
To the But you know, I do believe that, and
over the past, even before I started seeing my current therapist,
I believe that it is human nature to clean to negativity.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
Absolutely, I absolutely do. No, no, no, no. So I
think that being positive in like in the world, not
in Baltimore, not in America, not in black skin, not
in white skin. I think being a human.

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
When I think about like the news and the fear
and the and the way that the world is set up,
it is.

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
To me more work. And maybe it is just me,
but it's more work to focus on positive than it
is negative because it's like negativity or like negative, the
concept of negative energy is abundant. You have to look
for a positive.

Speaker 5 (01:09:03):
And feel so sometimes it feels to me that not
even normal, but like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
That it's like people's security blankets. Oh, I mean.

Speaker 5 (01:09:16):
Because if you if you cleave to negative, you don't
allow positive to disappoint.

Speaker 4 (01:09:22):
Absolutely, and not only that, if you cleave to negative,
you also there is not a lot of accountability because
to be it is work to be, to be positive,
to be, to focus on positive activity in.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
Your own life in the world. It's work because the
world fucking sucks like it's bad. It's bad. Don't say that.
I gotta I got a seventeen year old I want her.

Speaker 5 (01:09:48):
I want her to be all not rainbows and lollipops
and unicorns.

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
But well, it's nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:09:53):
Wrong with being rainbows, lollipops and unicorns. But still arm
her with. However, there are trolls and gnomes and yeah,
and yes, desolutely trolls, And I think it's important to
arm our children with, especially young black children, especially young girls,
with young black girls with the world can be rainbow's

(01:10:15):
unicorns and sparkles, right, you are the You are the
rainbow unicorn and the sparkles in the world. But you
have to be mindful that there are trolls and ogres
and and dogs, and you know that are gonna come
and try to take your sparkles away.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
So I have a question.

Speaker 5 (01:10:32):
Yes, so speaking of that, you just reminded me of something.
Do you follow the brain? I fucking love Auntie Tabitha.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
So yes, I saw that ogre say that about that woman,
Oh and I went off. Yes, so did you see
her response?

Speaker 5 (01:10:46):
Oh? It was so says good yourself like what is
it about my happiness that triggers you and so? And
I would just say this from as as someone who
triggers a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
Clearly, like I just I got she spoke to my spirit.
When I get it, I have a and I haven't
really let me see how I'm gonna word this.

Speaker 5 (01:11:10):
Listen, So you got a negative friend. They know they're
negative boo. So I'm not to be a family though.

Speaker 4 (01:11:15):
But really, I mean, like I just think that negativity
is it's just easier for people.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
It is hard fucking work to be positive. But you
have to get up in.

Speaker 4 (01:11:29):
The morning, like and that's why I say, like maybe
the news was onto something Marty basket with these puppies
and ship and playing little babies.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
With sunshine faces.

Speaker 4 (01:11:38):
And you have to wake up every day or whatever
day and say today I am going to have a
good day and no matter what.

Speaker 2 (01:11:48):
And then when people throw negativity at you.

Speaker 4 (01:11:52):
For me, anyway, I have to make a conscious effort
in my brain because I'm quit to say like what.

Speaker 2 (01:11:58):
The fuck who are you talking to? Like the fuck
out of it, Like I'm quick for that. I have
to say, you know what, this is not about me?
People have a hard time with that concept. This don't
got nothing to do with me.

Speaker 4 (01:12:08):
They having a bad day for whatever it is or
whatever is going on, is not a result of who
I am and how I exist or show up in
the world. It is not going to affect me. And
I am going to choose to be positive.

Speaker 2 (01:12:21):
That is work. It's so much easier to just be like,
oh bitch, let me alone, or you stupid, or to
go along. You're right, she is a stupid, stinking halloween.
She like it's easier to do that. It is, but
so yeah, it takes a lot of work.

Speaker 5 (01:12:35):
But I did not realize the fact that, like the
fact that you don't allow people's negativity to impact you
triggers people like, let me realize.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
So what I was saying was go ahead, you finished that.
I didn't.

Speaker 5 (01:12:53):
So we talked about the fact you have to take
the you know, the compliments and.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
Criticism the same, right, yep.

Speaker 5 (01:13:01):
And the way that manifests itself and with me is
an attitude that it doesn't really matter what you think
of me, yep.

Speaker 2 (01:13:11):
And that's for everybody, and people have a hard time
when you feel like that.

Speaker 5 (01:13:14):
And when I say it, I mean it in my spirit,
Like even my child, you know, she wants to say
something and I'm like, you have to understand, like, these
are your issues, you know what I mean, Like what.

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
You're saying has nothing to do with me.

Speaker 5 (01:13:29):
And because our ride like that, because I wrote like that,
apparently that triggers people. I could see where it would
upset people. Why So, as I am going.

Speaker 4 (01:13:39):
Through like a journey of healing of my own, something
that I have struggled with is a sense of obligation
to people. And as I am working on that and
coming out of feeling guilty for things and realizing that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
You know, I have to put my.

Speaker 4 (01:14:03):
Joy, peace and happiness first, there are times when I
feel guilty for that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:10):
And so because people.

Speaker 4 (01:14:12):
May know you as that person or in that space,
when you start to divert from the you that you
have always been, people are like, wait.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
A minute, what the fucker what is going on?

Speaker 4 (01:14:23):
I'm used to you showing up this way? Why are
you now showing up this way? And not that you
have to explain it to them because I refuse to
do that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:33):
People just have to adjust.

Speaker 4 (01:14:35):
And over time, I think people do adjust, but I
think that that, yeah, you still.

Speaker 5 (01:14:40):
Not explaining to me why that my attitude, that attitude
would be a trigger.

Speaker 4 (01:14:46):
Another reason is because it's something that people wish that
they had, so I have. So I have witnessed somebody
who who absolutely does not know person A, right. I
am the connector between person and person B. I have

(01:15:10):
close relationships with person A.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
And person B.

Speaker 4 (01:15:12):
I fully believe that something about person A triggers person
be so much. And person A doesn't really like like,
she doesn't really give a fuck what people got going on.
She's kind of like you, like, you got your thing
going on, you can stay over there, and I got
my thing going on, and I'm gonna stay over there.
And not that she says it to people, but that's

(01:15:34):
just how she lives her life.

Speaker 5 (01:15:36):
I have watched people be bothered by that, and I
don't know why, but I think sometimes it triggers people
because they wish that they had that kind of courage
or that kind of I don't know what the word
would be. I don't know what the adjective I think it's.
I don't think, I mean, I don't I can't say
it's courage. I'll just say it is old, but but

(01:16:01):
it's truthful, and you know it crystallized RuPaul crystallized it
for me or he was yes, because he was just like,
your opinion of me is none of my business, you
know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:16:15):
Like you know, like what what it's so interesting that
you said, because this makes me think when I think
about like me trying to figure things out for myself, when.

Speaker 2 (01:16:25):
You said even my child, that's heavy, Like I.

Speaker 5 (01:16:30):
Just want her to own her feelings absolutely and understand
that her feelings are hers absolutely, and don't put them
on and also don't project your feelings onto other people,
because I personally feel like that's unfair. Yeah, and I
just I don't think it's I think when you understand

(01:16:52):
feelings for what they are.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
And a lot of my friends just think.

Speaker 5 (01:16:59):
I'm mean, you know, not like or not like they
think I'm unfeeling. It's not that I'm unfeeling. I just
don't think that I have. I have not witnessed where
people have been led by feelings.

Speaker 2 (01:17:14):
That being a good thing.

Speaker 5 (01:17:15):
And then I mean it like I knew you were
going to say, you know, like doing things out of
extreme anger or extreme happy things.

Speaker 2 (01:17:23):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (01:17:24):
You like, it's a feeling, feelings, feeling experience like what
you feel is just one part of this whole, of
this whole.

Speaker 4 (01:17:32):
But also feelings are not concrete exactly, they are not permit.
So these these are things that I'm learning because I
am super emotional, and everything I did, how I moved
in my whole life, for my whole life was.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
Based on feelings and emotions.

Speaker 4 (01:17:47):
So as I come out of that now I'm understanding,
like feelings are temporary because I'm happy now, and later
on I might stub my toe and then I'm upset, or.

Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
A boyd or call him boys.

Speaker 4 (01:18:00):
But a man might call me and say something and
it might make me excited, and then he might change
his mind, and then I'm not excited, you know what
I mean. Like it's like a wave, it's a spectrum.
And that's why it's the same thing with happiness though,
Like I think people talk about happiness a lot of times,
like happiness is a destination. Like I'm just trying to
be happy. I can't wait till I get happy. I

(01:18:22):
can't wait to get this job because then my life
is gonna be together. I can't wait to get this
husband because then I'm gonna be happy. I can't wait
to have this child or whatever. But happiness is not
a destination. It is points on like a spectrum or
a graph.

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
And a choice. Yet wait a minute, so.

Speaker 4 (01:18:37):
This is what I was talking about about negativity versus positivity.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
A lot of people are not choosing to be happy.

Speaker 5 (01:18:44):
They talk about wanting to be happy, or they lie
to themselves constantly and say I'm good. Black people are
really good for this. Oh I'm fine, I'm good, I
got this, I'm happy.

Speaker 4 (01:18:57):
I don't care. And it's like usually when you say
you don't care. I learned this with working with kids
with teenagers. The more they say they don't care, the
more they care. The more somebody yells I'm fine, I'm good,
and there it's like they're in the middle of a fire,
like are you sure, because it's okay to not be good,
because that's.

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
Just another point on the spectrum, that's just another point.

Speaker 4 (01:19:19):
On the grid of your life where maybe you're not happy,
but you have the choice or the option to say,
in this moment, I'm not but I'm gonna make a
choice to figure out how to get back there.

Speaker 5 (01:19:31):
And so many times people are, they're triggered and they
act and if you could just learn and I practiced this,
so it's not like something that just happened. I practice,
like if I'm triggered, like it's like almost like an
immediate stop sign. Yeah, because what comes after or trigger

(01:19:53):
is good never never, but it can ruin, it could
end friendships. But if you if you train yourself to
to like just just stop, just pause, just take a
you know, like count to ten, count whatever, Like, if
you can train yourself to do that, it can help
you put things into perspective.

Speaker 4 (01:20:13):
At at school, so I have to do like observations
of kids and then I come up with like intervention
plans within in the classroom, and so one of them
that I tell them. And it's interesting because I was
one of the kids who I was always talking in class.
I've been talking since I was very small, and full
conversation since I was two.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
I'm a I'm a I talk, It's what I do.

Speaker 4 (01:20:36):
So I tell them when you feel like you are
about to do something.

Speaker 2 (01:20:40):
Maybe that you know that you don't have any business doing,
or you just feel it, because sometimes it'll happen and
you don't even know it's about to happen. Right, you
feel the tricks, you.

Speaker 4 (01:20:49):
Feel it, you feel the trigger, whether it's somebody is
playing with their phone and you're like, I won't play
with my phone too.

Speaker 2 (01:20:56):
I tell them stop, think and then act.

Speaker 4 (01:20:59):
So if you just give yourself just sixty seconds of
processing time, or I don't tell them processing time, but
if you take one minute and just think about what
you're about to do, and you say, is this a
good idea? Is this a bad idea? If I do this?
What are the things that could happen by the time
you run through that you don't even want to do
it anymore because you know it's not a good idea.

Speaker 5 (01:21:21):
So many I have in my life witnessed so many
people make horrible decisions because they are on an emotional
roller coaster and they don't have friends. They have friends
that are just like, oh, you want a roller coaster?

Speaker 2 (01:21:38):
Right? Doing this right?

Speaker 4 (01:21:40):
Instead of hold on sis, you know, hold on brother,
still chill out for one second second? Is this a
good So one thing that my best friend has taught
me she has, you know, her backgrounds and social work
is stop and ask yourself is this helpful or supportive?

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
That is a good question? It is? And nine times
I have to not, right, no, it's not. Well, then
maybe you shouldn't do it. Is it helpful? Is it supportive?
That is I'm taking that No, No, that is like
clinical help. Is it helpful or is it supportive?

Speaker 4 (01:22:13):
If you want to do something, and I mean naturally,
that's not to take away from feelings, because having feelings
is a part of being human, right, Being ruled by
them is a choice, and that's a scary choice. And
I think that a lot of times we are like
when I hear about women who like slash tires, I
think that is absolutely ridiculous.

Speaker 5 (01:22:33):
I think it's ridiculous, but I mean I get it.
I'm would just say this. I'm just glad nobody ever
asked me to roll on one of those trips. I
have been asked because I'm not too because there's a
couple of my friends we're always like, look, what do
you need? You need a witness or alibi? Like what
do you what do you need?

Speaker 4 (01:22:53):
That's a good one too, right, what do you need
from me in this moment? Do you need a witness
or do you need an alibi? That's real. I've been
on one of those trips. I've been on a few
of those.

Speaker 5 (01:23:03):
Trips because you know, I'm like, we go you some
of your friends.

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
You just gotta ride, you know, you just got her.
I'm going and I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna go,
and hopefully if she's being really ridiculous or he if
they're being really ridiculous, hopefully during the ride, I could
be like, is this something that you really want to do?
The worst part about it? This is what I realized.

Speaker 5 (01:23:25):
Like I'm like that for like for me, like I'm
always like a trigger, you know, you take a deep breath.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
But like like your friends, I'm like, oh you mad.

Speaker 4 (01:23:35):
We all all mad because essentially that's I feel like,
that's what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 2 (01:23:40):
But I'm gonna be mad with you.

Speaker 5 (01:23:42):
But if it's gonna land me in jail, then I'm
having the helpful and supportive conversation because I'm not going
to jail for nobody.

Speaker 2 (01:23:47):
I ain't going to jail for nold goddamn body, nobody.
I wouldn't even go to jail with my grandma. I
don't know. I might be like, Grandma, is this really
a good idea?

Speaker 4 (01:23:59):
Because I would be the one in jail and you're
gonna be home watching Westerns.

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
I'm not gonna say I can't have any conversation. But okay,
well we're gonna stop because you know.

Speaker 5 (01:24:08):
I know, because we're from Baltimore. There's some different conversations.

Speaker 4 (01:24:12):
Yeah, yeah, No, I don't want to I don't I
don't want to go to jail. I've never been to jail.
I never want to go to jail ever in my
life because I'm terrified at prison. I've watched a lot
of TV shows.

Speaker 2 (01:24:21):
Hell, yeah, you're not, of course, I am. Shit, I am.
I'm terrified of jail. Fuck all that. I watched too
many TV shows. They rape you in jail with broomsticks,
all kinds stuff. I'm terrified of that, and I'm okay with.

Speaker 4 (01:24:36):
Being scared of it, like you know how some people
are like, I ain't scared. Shit, I am scared of things.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
Yes, I am.

Speaker 5 (01:24:44):
I do not want to go to jail. Yeah, I
will say this, I do not want to go. I
will also say that the same characteristics that help you
be successful navigating and you know in life and in

(01:25:06):
the outside side of jail, are useful inside. So there
are plenty of people who I have seen have can
figure out how to navigate.

Speaker 4 (01:25:18):
And let me say this, then I don't ever want
to be put in a position where I have to
figure out how to navigate.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
Yeah, I got it.

Speaker 4 (01:25:23):
I don't want to. It does not look like my
idea of fun. You gotta wear orange. I just started
wearing orange this year. Really, yeah, well I have an
orange person. You are me either, but you.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
Know it really looks good on my complexion. But you don't.
I bet it does. I bet it does.

Speaker 5 (01:25:43):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:25:43):
I just I started wearing yellow a couple of years ago.
I had an orange dress a few years ago, but
I didn't wear it a lot. But whenever I wear orange,
people are.

Speaker 2 (01:25:53):
Like, isn't that yeah, and there like, oh my god, you.

Speaker 5 (01:25:56):
Look so good, and it's like it looks like my
skin a little bit maybe out trying. Yeah, but go
bold with them, Yeah, go bold with it. I don't
really like orange.

Speaker 2 (01:26:05):
How do we get here?

Speaker 5 (01:26:07):
Because you were talking about orange jumpsuits.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
Yeah, and I don't want to that.

Speaker 5 (01:26:10):
You saying you don't want to go to jail, and
I'm saying that nobody wants to go to jail. But
I don't like this. Well, this is Baltimore, so I will.
I can't even get into my my.

Speaker 2 (01:26:23):
Hearry about that. I mean, like, if you can on here,
if it's not good for you, then don't.

Speaker 5 (01:26:40):
So I'll just say this, I'll say, generally speaking, people
don't want to go to jail. Yes, it is a
determ for a lot of people. I do not want
to go, and I can understand that. I will say, However,
when I work in the Public Defender's office, I had
to work in the jails. It was an attorney, you know,
and I was taken.

Speaker 2 (01:27:02):
This was years ago.

Speaker 5 (01:27:03):
Yeah, With listening to correctional officers talk about recidivism, what
is that for those of you people who keep getting
arrested in coming back to jail, repeat offenders, repeat defenders,
and it being linked to people who were having relations
men who having relationships with men who were in jail,

(01:27:24):
and they kept going back.

Speaker 2 (01:27:28):
Listen, I'm saying absolutely, because I have a friend that.

Speaker 4 (01:27:32):
I went to middle school with and we reconnected on Facebook.
I actually had a big crush on him in the
seventh grade. He's a CEO or correctional officer, and so
we were talking one day years ago on Facebook and
we were talking about like people who served like long
term sentences, and I just straight up asked him, I
was like, do you find that like a lot of

(01:27:53):
men are like in relationships? He said, I'm gonna tell
you this, he said, I've been a CEO for over
ten years. He said, men who serve over two to
three year sentences nine times out of ten have had
at least one sexual experience with another man in prison.

Speaker 2 (01:28:12):
And I said, shut up. He said, I'm not lying,
and I don't think he was lying.

Speaker 5 (01:28:16):
No, no, no, and not even so, I'm not even talking
about that part of it. I'm talking about from what
I experienced, what I wouldn't Yeah, because our community, and
this was again years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:28:28):
You're not talking romantic Are you talking romantic relationships? That's
what I thought you.

Speaker 5 (01:28:33):
But what I'm saying, you're talking about just like gay
for the state, That's not what I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:28:37):
Talking gay for the say. What I'm saying is.

Speaker 5 (01:28:42):
I think that there are people of color, black people who,
because our communities, the stigma that had been on homosexuality,
part of their self, you know it it can cause

(01:29:05):
self clothing. Part of that manifested in the criminal behavior,
and part of that, you know, being in jail, behind bars,
away from our community, away from the eyes of their family,
they could they were.

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
They could live their authentic life and be their authentic self, right.

Speaker 5 (01:29:29):
And so that that that was interesting to me.

Speaker 2 (01:29:33):
That is very interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:29:35):
No, he definitely said that, you know, and I said, well,
you know, are like do they like go together or
He was like, well, sometimes they do, but sometimes it's
like he said, you got to think about it, like
their men and they're in here and there's no like
sexual you know, he said, so nine times out of ten,
if a dude is in here for at least two
to three years, he's had some kind of interaction with

(01:29:57):
a man. But what you're saying is that is really different,
and that is very interesting because it's like I cannot
be who I want to freely be outside of these walls,
but when I'm here, I can, and not only can
I but it's accepted.

Speaker 2 (01:30:18):
Nobody's judging me, and you.

Speaker 5 (01:30:20):
Know, people have relationships and it's and it was it
was just interesting to me that, you know, seeing it,
you know what I mean, I mean like seeing a
guy that was clear, like you know that was out, yeah,
and one of his boyfriends was getting out, was getting released. No,
he was like, oh no, he'll be back because he

(01:30:42):
coming back for me, right.

Speaker 2 (01:30:43):
Like you know what I mean? And I was like, well,
what you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (01:30:46):
Like and then he would come back. But yeah, because
so I'm just I'm just curious. I am just curious
if that still, you know, like people's I think we've
come a long way with in our community about homosexuality.

Speaker 2 (01:31:06):
So I don't know if that's still the case. I
would imagine we've come a long way.

Speaker 4 (01:31:10):
But when came that far, Yeah, So it was just
interesting to me when I would have I didn't know
anything about that.

Speaker 2 (01:31:16):
I didn't like I just never thought about it.

Speaker 5 (01:31:19):
You know, when you think about the when you feel ashamed,
when you feel.

Speaker 2 (01:31:28):
Hated, you know what.

Speaker 5 (01:31:29):
I mean, you feel like so like that's when you
you know, you do you self sabotage. Yeah, And I
like I saw you people did it. You know, you
make these bad decisions and end up.

Speaker 4 (01:31:43):
You know, in a safe for you, a safe space.
I never thought about prison being a safe space. In
my mind, prison is no good. Don't want to be there.
I don't have no relationships there. I can have all
my relationships out here. But what you're saying makes sense.
I wish somebody would write a book about it, like

(01:32:03):
you that's not what I would write it. That's not
your wheelhouse. No, No, I don't know enough about it.

Speaker 2 (01:32:08):
I had to.

Speaker 5 (01:32:09):
You know, I was a public defender for like eight
or nine years, you know what I mean. So you've
seen a lot. Yeah, I definitely saw a lot. Not
enough that I would you know, I'm not enough research
enough data to I know I know what I saw. Yeah,
I know enough to know that it happened. So what's
what made me interested? Because you know, my government public

(01:32:30):
policy had started thinking about you know, how much you know.

Speaker 2 (01:32:35):
There are lots of reasons for recidivism.

Speaker 5 (01:32:38):
Nobody is talking about that like that as a you know,
as a potential.

Speaker 4 (01:32:42):
And also wait a minute, like not to be like
all conspiracy theory, like but like you know how like
sometimes you'll hear black people say, oh, they want to
keep us in jail or they want to So.

Speaker 2 (01:32:55):
I think that that can be true. Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:32:57):
I think that a lot of laws that have been
put on the books have very the the the impact
of them is very uneven, and you know, when the
when it levels out, we're you know, we're on the
losing end a lot of times. I don't I think
that's true as well as as well as these other
Do you think.

Speaker 4 (01:33:17):
That they make it easy for them to have relationships
and easy for them to well, I guess that's what
I was thinking about. I just don't know how to
articulate what I was saying. Clearly, I don't think it's
a them thing. I think it's weird if.

Speaker 5 (01:33:35):
You think the community, if I think if our I
think if our community felt differently, that stigma wouldn't force
people to to to self harm yeah, or put the
yes yes, or self sabotage so that they could escape
to their self safe maymen.

Speaker 2 (01:33:54):
Okay, got it? So what do you have going on now?

Speaker 5 (01:33:59):
My biggest thing is my daughter is leaving to go
to spell Mass.

Speaker 2 (01:34:03):
She is shout out to do you say her name
on Sofia? Yes? Okay, shout out to Sofia's on the spelling.

Speaker 5 (01:34:10):
I told her I'm gonna get a dog and name
of Sophia.

Speaker 2 (01:34:13):
And how does she feel about that?

Speaker 5 (01:34:14):
She thinks I'm crazy, that's a little strange, and I
call her Fia.

Speaker 2 (01:34:18):
So I said, I'm gonna call it dog Fia.

Speaker 5 (01:34:20):
I think that's a little bit extras, but but I
was gonna say that's about separation, anxiety, yeah, you would
you move to Atlanta? No, yeah, but so so yeah,
So that's my biggest thing. I'm very excited. She's gonna
be going down in August and we're very excited. I'm very,

(01:34:42):
very very excited spell a dream school, and I'm just so,
you know, proud of her. And I've been doing a
lot more. I want to do more television commentary. The
first year I was out of office, I did for ABC,
not as much as I wanted and I and I

(01:35:05):
got a little jaded with with it and then kind
of step back.

Speaker 2 (01:35:10):
But now I want to do more of it. So
that's been good. I've been do you have like an
agent or a publicist or house? So yeah, so I've
had both.

Speaker 5 (01:35:19):
Well, I've had agents in the past, and you just
have to be very specific about or intentional about the
type of agent you get. Like I had an agent
that was New York and LA based, which was good
for my ABC deal. But I'm in Baltimore, so I
need someone that's right because I'm not going to.

Speaker 2 (01:35:47):
I'm not trying to be uproot your life that much, right,
I'm not trying.

Speaker 5 (01:35:50):
To be the next Oprah, So I'm not going to
you know, move to New York, so you know whatever.
So yeah, so I'm I've been joined that and just
you know, consulting and helping people out with different issues.

Speaker 2 (01:36:04):
Whether you know. I used to be president of the
US Conference of Mayors. I was the first black woman.
I remember that. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:36:11):
So whenever you're on TV and like we get wind
of it, it's like seth, he's gonna be on.

Speaker 2 (01:36:15):
TV at seven o'clock.

Speaker 4 (01:36:17):
Oh no, we watch and we're like, look at her hair.
It's good, she's so per This is my grandmother. She's
such a pretty girl. Like, oh, yes, grandma, let's listen
to what she has to say. She's smart, she's so smart.
Oh that is a nice suit. Oh I like that
color looks good on her. It's like, oh, yes, I'm
supposed to do listen.

Speaker 5 (01:36:37):
I'll take it because you know it's not it's not
always nice, so.

Speaker 2 (01:36:42):
I soak it up. Do you think so? No, I
think some people.

Speaker 5 (01:36:46):
Are crazy, like especially when I do Fox.

Speaker 2 (01:36:48):
Oh my god, like when.

Speaker 5 (01:36:49):
I do that, because I think that.

Speaker 2 (01:36:57):
Our voices need to be her. Yeah, I get that,
but I just feel like they would I don't do
their opinion people, I do their news ship.

Speaker 4 (01:37:05):
Okay, okay, because I'm just thinking, like, why would you
even walk into the lions Den, Like I.

Speaker 2 (01:37:10):
Said, I do. I've done their news like Bill O'Reilly?
Is he even still on team?

Speaker 5 (01:37:16):
No? No, okay, but yeah, so I love doing that.
And a couple of creative projects.

Speaker 2 (01:37:21):
I'm working on. Okay, Like what, so I have a
so you know, I'm a big Baltimore promoter.

Speaker 5 (01:37:29):
So I'm working on HGTV concept around you know, turning
from vacant Homes.

Speaker 2 (01:37:39):
So I got a girl on my show episode twenty
four ship. What is the name of her company?

Speaker 1 (01:37:47):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:37:47):
My god, you have to think of it and tell me.
But yeah, So we're working on.

Speaker 5 (01:37:50):
The Jones Okay, we're working on you know, pitching this. Okay,
So that's I'm doing that. And are a couple of
people that have approached me about doing a drama series
based on.

Speaker 2 (01:38:06):
My time in office. Oh that would be interesting. So
it's you know, like a scandal kind of show.

Speaker 5 (01:38:13):
But yeah, but those things, you know, it's interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:38:15):
Like I feel like it's two tracks.

Speaker 5 (01:38:19):
Either a feel comes like this, yeah, and you know,
and like people buy the story and don't have a
you know, like a you know kind of rush the
show or it's like a development and I've been like
developing this concept for.

Speaker 2 (01:38:32):
A little while. So we'll see and then what else
I have questions? So if they do, what would you
want to play you?

Speaker 5 (01:38:39):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:38:39):
Oh, let me think you know what.

Speaker 5 (01:38:43):
There was a woman now I can't remember her name,
but I did see this woman that I thought would
be good. It was a minute ago. I can't think
it's hard, right because because they're not very many stern

(01:39:16):
faced black actresses. Yeah, they're white ones though, Yeah, like
Tilda's Swinson, Kate Blanchetts.

Speaker 2 (01:39:26):
Yeah, they have stern faces. I'll leave that there. Okay,
so you're doing that, that would be really awesome. I
will watch it.

Speaker 5 (01:39:35):
Yeah, as long as Tyler Perry no, okay, but so
I would watch it if it was Tyler Berry, but
I wouldn't want to. Yeah, so that and you know,
I'm just trying to be healthy as pandemic.

Speaker 2 (01:39:45):
N I gained eighteen pounds. I'm just slad I got
them off.

Speaker 5 (01:39:49):
Yeah. I don't even want to talk about how much.
I mean it was talking about being on a roller coaster.
It was rough, yeah, because all I mean, you're in
the house, You're in the house and you're wearing stretcher clothes,
and then you go to put on clothes that don't
have stretch and.

Speaker 4 (01:40:02):
It's like you can't put them on. Then you have
to go get new stretchy clothed. No, you don't have
to get a new stretch clothes, but you can't wear
anything except stretching clothes. Then you have to try to
figure out how to make stretchy clothes look fancy.

Speaker 2 (01:40:14):
Listen.

Speaker 5 (01:40:15):
Oh, it was horrible, It was horrible, But I'm telling
you it's it's it is a journey that has has
been a challenge. But once it's just like with you
with with mental health, you realize it is not an episode.

Speaker 2 (01:40:30):
It is like forever. Yeah, and that's it is.

Speaker 5 (01:40:33):
It's your forever work. So that's how wellness health, wellness
weight is from me. It's my forever work because I've
struggled with my weight since.

Speaker 2 (01:40:41):
I was ten.

Speaker 4 (01:40:42):
Well, the thing is that in our you know, we
don't come from a small family. It's not that's not
our family's ministry. Yeah, big with big bone, big hipped,
big breasts, big thighs, big arms, big everything, big butts,
big lips. We just big and it's but we're very
very attractive and we are very very smart.

Speaker 5 (01:41:05):
So it balances out not saying that if you are
big and not smart and ugly or unattractive, not say
ugly because people say it's not necessary ly, but not
to say that you aren't doing well in life if
you are those things.

Speaker 2 (01:41:18):
But it helps.

Speaker 4 (01:41:20):
One of the teachers at my school, she's my really
good friend. Her name is Joy McNeil Smith. Shout out
to you, Joy. She has a company if you're local
and you need a face painter or someone to lead
a sip and paint.

Speaker 2 (01:41:33):
She is an artist and she does it and she
does a great job. Anyway, she told me.

Speaker 4 (01:41:38):
I remember her telling one of the students once. She said,
you need to be two of three things. You need
to be kind, you need to be beautiful, or you
need to be smart. She said you need to have
at least two of those.

Speaker 2 (01:41:51):
One is not enough. You need to have at least two.
And she's right, because you can't be mean, pretty and dumb.
It's not gonna work out for you. You can't be unattractive,
smart and uh me, that's not gonna work. You need

(01:42:12):
to have two of three. And I don't think it's
you know, I struggle, you know, while I was in office.

Speaker 5 (01:42:18):
You know that because I because I cared at all
about my appearance.

Speaker 2 (01:42:26):
You know, people thought that that's all I cared about.
You know I heard that too. People had a lot
of shit to say about you. Yeah, that's right. Well,
the thing is that the good thing is that you
do have a tough skin. Because I wouldn't. I couldn't
do it.

Speaker 4 (01:42:42):
I would want to cuss everybody out. Everybody's mother would
be a sorry bitch. I would be so mad. I
would be like, oh, where.

Speaker 2 (01:42:50):
Did she work?

Speaker 4 (01:42:50):
Because I'm gonna go to her job and I'm gonna
knock everything down in the McDonald's.

Speaker 2 (01:42:54):
Where you were.

Speaker 5 (01:42:55):
But you know what is funny, it's interesting, like it's
so little would get under my skin, you know, especially
when people is and and uh, when I saw Venus
Williams give that interview about after Naomi, I know what
you're talking about, and she was talking about you know,
the people that are asking me questions will never be
as good as I. And it's interesting because without you know,

(01:43:18):
I wouldn't have articulated it. Now, I'm not criticizing the
way your artic I just don't I didn't think about
it like that.

Speaker 2 (01:43:24):
But that's my attitude. It's like, I don't care criticize me,
Send me the coordinates for the city that you've run.

Speaker 5 (01:43:32):
Let me see listen that you know, I would love
to see this, this magical place where you've you've you know,
you've ended unemployment, you've cured addiction, you've ended ended crime. Like,
welcome me to that place, and I will take notes.
And it's the same thing like when I pay attention.
When I'm like in a room full of men and
they're watching sports. They have all of the suggestions for

(01:43:55):
how the person could execute the play better, and it's like,
you didn't play beyond high school. Shut up.

Speaker 2 (01:44:03):
I'm like, you barely good at making these wings.

Speaker 3 (01:44:05):
We haven't.

Speaker 2 (01:44:06):
Yeah, go fix the ribs, tyrone, go make the ribs
and be quiet.

Speaker 5 (01:44:13):
But yeah, so yeah, it's interesting. If someone criticized my makeup,
I think, oh, they did that, But that's the only
thing that we get under my skin.

Speaker 4 (01:44:23):
Yes, that being something that bothered you. People would say
that she wears too much makeup, Well, you don't wear enough.
It was interesting, and your makeup looks amazing, and I
actually have watched your makeup transformation thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:44:38):
Yes, well this is light. This is a very a
light face. I get it.

Speaker 4 (01:44:42):
So you have gotten like I know, like I can
see from when you started to when you took off
the makeup, and you are really good.

Speaker 5 (01:44:51):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:44:52):
You are thank you. I received it. Yeah, I love makeup.

Speaker 5 (01:44:56):
And and it's so crazy because the thing that that
amused me is if you're from Baltimore, if you went
to Western like, the whole thing with Western women is
we cared about the way you know right. And it's
not that we were smart and right, but but when

(01:45:19):
I showed up as that person who I have always
been in these important roles, then it was she.

Speaker 2 (01:45:29):
You know been that yeah, and and and there's.

Speaker 5 (01:45:32):
A whole like and there are tons of women in
the city that are the exact same way, and like
stop trying.

Speaker 2 (01:45:39):
To you know like that.

Speaker 5 (01:45:42):
That that's that is something one of the things that
that that bothered me, especially because sometimes it would come
from other women.

Speaker 2 (01:45:49):
Well that's usually where it comes about makeup. They love me. Yeah,
but so yeah, especially when I'm like, you know what
you like you do, you're trying.

Speaker 4 (01:45:59):
To do the same think like everybody like you try
to put your best face forward and literally push, Yeah, why.

Speaker 2 (01:46:05):
Are you mad at me for doing the exact same
thing at the end of the day.

Speaker 4 (01:46:08):
This is what I don't understand. Like my Grandma Shirley
always told me that her mother used to say, what
you eat, don't make me go to the bathroom. I
don't give a ship how much makeup somebody has or
how little. When I first started doing makeup, oh, I
was so bad at it, and I would wear like
turquoise eyes shadow. Oh, it would be turquoise, and I

(01:46:29):
would have on all this makeup. This before I understood
like the whole like flash thing, and I would wear
a lot of makeup.

Speaker 2 (01:46:37):
Listen. I was doing the best of what I could
and actually, for that time, it didn't look bad.

Speaker 4 (01:46:43):
But women would always yeah, we're not gonna look back
at the pictures either. But people always had a lot
of stuff to say, and it's like, why do you
give a shit about my makeup?

Speaker 2 (01:46:53):
Exactly? I don't have pimples, Like what are you what
is it that you're really concerned about.

Speaker 5 (01:46:58):
I'll never forget I was. I was one time during
the election. I can't remember which office I was running
for at the time, but you know, you do you
call voters. Yeah right, and uh, you do phonathons where
people uh sitting on the phone.

Speaker 2 (01:47:13):
You know who you're gonna You're you're gonnavote for Stephanie
the end.

Speaker 5 (01:47:16):
And so I went to the phone bank to sit
and make calls with the people that are doing the call. Right,
So they gave me a book book and I am
on a call and I called this this older black couple,
and I will never forget. The wife said that she
was not gonna vote for me because of my lip

(01:47:37):
gloss and.

Speaker 2 (01:47:39):
What she certainly did, and her husband said, don't worry,
don't worry, I'm a voter because of her lip I was.

Speaker 4 (01:47:50):
People are crazy and women are crazy for them instead
of saying, like I like her lip gloss, that's nice.

Speaker 2 (01:47:58):
Or not, but like, why comment on it? But why
should like? What is it about my lipstick?

Speaker 5 (01:48:05):
My lip gloss choice that impacted the decisions I was
making for the city.

Speaker 2 (01:48:09):
Not a damn thing.

Speaker 4 (01:48:10):
Yeah, well it's the same thing, So tell me what
you think, because this is a hot right now about
shit carry richardson. Everybody has something to say about I
love this girl, about what about her orange hair? And
then she looks ghetto black. Wait a minute, Black women
have been saying things and black men have been saying, oh.

Speaker 5 (01:48:30):
She looks ghetto. She has these long nails. Like I
expect white people to say shit like that because they
don't get it. I get that, But black people tearing
each other, Dawn, It's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:48:41):
What I go about.

Speaker 5 (01:48:42):
I don't know. Like when I see somebody that's doing well,
and especially if it's something that I struggle with, I
take notes.

Speaker 2 (01:48:52):
I'm just like, all right, so what they're doing, you
know what I mean? Like now, I'm not a hater,
Like that's not even in.

Speaker 4 (01:48:59):
My sphere even so, don't get me wrong, like if
somebody has on because I said this early when I
started this show, like I don't judge people on like
major choices, like if you are fifty two and you
having an abortion, that ain't none of my fucking business
because maybe you don't want no fucking kids at fifty two,
But if your.

Speaker 2 (01:49:17):
Hair is ugly, I might be like, oh, look at her,
it's so bad.

Speaker 5 (01:49:21):
But I'm not gonna make it a public like I'm
not going I'm not gonna make it a I write
about it. No, I wouldn't write about it I wouldn't
speak about it publicly if you asked me, No, I'm
gonna say it first. If I if we were somewhere
and somebody had on make up in the face, don't
master nec.

Speaker 2 (01:49:37):
I'ld be like, why was she thinking out here with
this fucking foundation in her face?

Speaker 4 (01:49:41):
Don't match your neck? Why didn't she look at that?
And that would be the end of it. I'm not
gonna ridicule her. I'm not gonna make it her issue
because maybe she likes it. That's the thing that people forget.

Speaker 2 (01:49:51):
Maybe people like it. I gotta think about that. I
think it's not that I don't notice stuff. I don't
know how.

Speaker 6 (01:49:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:50:00):
When it comes to people's face makeup and face and
like outfits, I always notice, but I just don't working
in the like I worked in the fashion and beauty
industry for so long. Like I'm gonna I scan and
it's like, ooh what, Like I hate this new thing
where people don't use lip liner.

Speaker 2 (01:50:20):
It's a sin. It's a sin. Really, it's wait a
minute for gloss and no lip gloss. You don't for
like pink creamy, I mean milky lipstick. You are brown?
Get a brown lip liner, a magenta lip liner.

Speaker 5 (01:50:36):
Heller, But what about people that are still lying there
Jesus with black?

Speaker 6 (01:50:41):
Oh, come on, friend, I was talking. It's not nineteen
eighty eight. They had the dark oh, with the clear gloss.
I was like, oh, remember they used to do in
the eighties with the black.

Speaker 4 (01:50:51):
Liner and the red the red or the wet and
wild fusia like, but that is people still do that.

Speaker 2 (01:50:58):
I was like, it's wrong.

Speaker 5 (01:51:00):
I'm like, you were intentional about that, like you like
and you think it.

Speaker 2 (01:51:03):
Looks good and you think it looks nice. One of
my cheerleaders a couple of years ago, she was like,
I said, you got on this lips? What is going on?
What's this black stuff?

Speaker 1 (01:51:12):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:51:12):
I take my mother's eye line. And I said, no,
you won't. I said, you know what, I'm gonna buy
your brownlip line and you have it. I said, but
stop wearing this black because it's not good. Like this
is not Jamaisa in nineteen ninety two. Nor are you
a cartoon no where you have to outline your lips
so the people know where to color.

Speaker 4 (01:51:30):
I'm in, Come on, friends, like so I will say
things about stuff like that. So what do you think
about Sha Carrie not being in the Olympics.

Speaker 2 (01:51:37):
I think.

Speaker 5 (01:51:39):
She made a bad decision. Everybody knows why.

Speaker 2 (01:51:42):
She knows why, and she owned it and she owned it. Oh,
shout out to her for being brave enough to own it,
so you know, the rules are the rules.

Speaker 5 (01:52:03):
She gets it, and I appreciate the fact that she's like,
you know, I'm messed up and I'm not done.

Speaker 4 (01:52:09):
Like that's my favorite part, right, she's like all she
even I think she even said, like all of you
talking saying all these things about me, I'm only twenty one,
so I have the rest of my life.

Speaker 2 (01:52:19):
I made a mistake. I learned from it, and trust me,
that won't be the last time you see me on
the track. And then there's nothing else to say after that.
I love her confidence.

Speaker 5 (01:52:27):
I love her and whether or not her style is
my style. Like it's funny because I started this Instagram
page that I had a feeling to do that I
haven't done anything with this call officially doing the most
because like that's.

Speaker 2 (01:52:43):
How I feel, like, you know, like I just feel like,
you know, like if if if.

Speaker 5 (01:52:51):
Glitter, if like if sequence is good, then sequence and
glitter is better.

Speaker 2 (01:52:55):
You know what I mean like, I got it. You
know what I'm saying, like, just like that is very
black woman, but and I love it and I was
very black and.

Speaker 5 (01:53:03):
Men too, but I but I you know, my friends
will say I'm extra. People have been saying that about
me my whole life. But it gets on my fucking nerves. Actually, no, love.

Speaker 2 (01:53:14):
I hate when people tell me that I'm doing the most.
What does that even mean? That I've achieved my goal?
That's what it means. So my thing is, like people
tell me all the time, you're too much, You're so extra,
you do the most. Maybe you aren't doing enough, maybe
you are.

Speaker 5 (01:53:33):
Not get upset when somebody tells me that, I'm like, yes,
I am, thank you for noticing.

Speaker 2 (01:53:39):
I tried really hard. I'm doing the most. I actively
participated in doing the most. This it gets on my
nerves because it's never said and uh, it's always in
a condescending way. But again, what does that say about you?
It's not about me. Thank you, It's not about me.
You know what, Thank you? That was a blessing. Sometimes

(01:54:00):
you need your cousins to bless you like that. It's
not about me, it's.

Speaker 5 (01:54:04):
Not it's about them and I'm just that's what I said,
thank you for Like I am, I am actively trying to.

Speaker 2 (01:54:11):
Do the most.

Speaker 4 (01:54:12):
Every single day when I wake up, I say to
myself today I will do the most.

Speaker 2 (01:54:19):
Yes, I mean maybe that's just the way that I live. Yes,
What does it mean though?

Speaker 5 (01:54:25):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:54:25):
Because what are you? When people say it to me,
I think to myself, like, what are you saying about you?

Speaker 5 (01:54:30):
Then?

Speaker 2 (01:54:30):
If I'm doing you need you know what they're saying
about that?

Speaker 4 (01:54:34):
Because if I am doing the most, or I'm doing extra,
or I'm putting forth more effort to be whatever it
is you say, I am, what does that mean for you?

Speaker 2 (01:54:42):
A lot of plane you know what's out there and
they're just happy being and I'm happy for them. I'm okay,
you're not. You know what, I can't I have plain
people if that's what the fuck they like?

Speaker 4 (01:54:55):
Because you know why, because when I go to the store,
that mean that all of the most is still there
for please be playing. I actually got upset when I
moved back here from California and I noticed that there
was like an inservience of people like wanting to be weird.
It's like I want to be weird alone, so that
all of the weird things that I like are available

(01:55:16):
to me, and they're not being consumed by the masks
now being different or being weird or being odd.

Speaker 2 (01:55:22):
It's totally like, okay, And you know why I say this.
I'll say this.

Speaker 5 (01:55:27):
It's not it's I don't like my crew can't be plain.

Speaker 2 (01:55:34):
I'm okay with it. You're plain people in your crew, Plaine. See,
I don't roll with like a so I don't roll
with like a crew.

Speaker 4 (01:55:43):
I saw a picture you posted the other day of
like you and your friends and like the kids are
graduating and stuff, and all of you guys look nice,
and you guys look but you all look together, as.

Speaker 2 (01:55:53):
In, y'all look like y'all belong together.

Speaker 4 (01:55:55):
Y'all have fancy hair, and y'all had flowy outfits.

Speaker 2 (01:55:59):
I don't like roll with a crew. I haven't really
rolled with a crew since high. You don't have a
group of girls. I got a group of girls, but
they don't intercept. Yeah, I don't. I don't don't. Yeah,
I don't fucking do that. I don't like it. I
don't like it, really I don't. I don't know why.

Speaker 4 (01:56:17):
But I have all of them and they are good
and if I were to ever do a thing, all
of them would come and it would be good.

Speaker 2 (01:56:24):
But I do I don't. I don't have a crew anymore.
Is it because Is it because you want to be
the primary friend?

Speaker 5 (01:56:32):
No? I don't think people don't like sharing their friends.
I don't like my sister listens to your podcast, So
I'm just gonna say that was for her.

Speaker 2 (01:56:40):
Yeah, okay, Lisa doesn't like sharing her friends, not at all.
She has what's called a friend's hierarchy.

Speaker 5 (01:56:47):
Oh I don't, Okay, tell me more about that. That
if she has a friend that is her friend, and
if you need to talk to that friend.

Speaker 2 (01:56:57):
You gotta go through her exactly. Yeah, No, I'm not
that been No, uh, it could be a little bit
of that.

Speaker 5 (01:57:03):
I am territorial, but but not like so none of
my friends would even want to be around each other.

Speaker 2 (01:57:10):
You know what I really think it is. I think that.

Speaker 4 (01:57:14):
Group dynamics are tricky one, but all of my friends
give me something that I need in a different way,
like like that are really close to me, and then
I have well, I mean, I guess it's a hierarchy,
but not in it that I love any different more
or right?

Speaker 2 (01:57:30):
So they're the ones that I talk to.

Speaker 5 (01:57:31):
When I say hierarchy, I mean her rules, her engagement,
got it, got it for her friend, not like not
like a order. No, not like that, like.

Speaker 2 (01:57:41):
The only way through the fathers, through the son. Yes,
and she is yeah no, So so I.

Speaker 5 (01:57:48):
Don't invite her friends to something independent, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:57:53):
Without going through her Yeah, oh no, no, I'm not
like that. But I don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 5 (01:57:57):
Because if you if she pops up at something and
one of her friends is there, she's looking like, what's
up on?

Speaker 2 (01:58:03):
Its Lisa's son? We're she I was gonna say she's
a pisces too, I said, I thought, that's she's got rules. Well,
I mean it's what's nothing wrong with boundaries. I'm working
on that this year. That's one of the focuses that
I have this year in therapy is creating boundaries. Because
I'm not good at it.

Speaker 5 (01:58:20):
I'm not. She is not.

Speaker 2 (01:58:22):
She is good at it. So that's that's good. Yeah, no,
my friends don't. That's interesting you brought that up. I
don't have a crew. I don't I have a crew.
But in your crew plane though, that's the question plane,
not in your crew.

Speaker 4 (01:58:40):
But like any of my ki friends, even in my
so there's the the five like the five rider dies
that I can call them if my house was on
fire and it would show up from me right and
then outside.

Speaker 2 (01:58:56):
Of that then the next wrong. I don't have a
lot of maybe, yeah, what's plain though, you don't do that, Nory.
You look at me like, don't even try, don't do
it like dry, like ooh, you're boring. No, like no spice,

(01:59:20):
like you know what I mean, No, I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:59:22):
Really have that because they're gonna have something, whether it's
their hair, whether it's their nails, their shoes, their outfits,
their makeup, They're gonna have something spicy.

Speaker 2 (01:59:33):
I don't really bang with too many girls that are
just like dry dry, because you can't be with me
and be dry, you know what I mean. I was
concerned we had when you were talking to I'm like,
I just don't see it. Yeah, I don't. They got
they got something.

Speaker 4 (01:59:47):
So even if their outfits aren't really like because I
think sometimes a lot of people think that I'm very
like spicy.

Speaker 2 (01:59:54):
If you pay attention to me, I'm not.

Speaker 4 (01:59:57):
I'm really I wear a bas My summer uniform is
baseball cap, T shirt, hoops, leggings, sneakers.

Speaker 2 (02:00:04):
But it's not the it's not I know what you
wear how you wear it. So if that's the case,
then then that's why people always are like, oh, you
have such you know, you're so wild with your style.

Speaker 4 (02:00:17):
And it's like, I am very classic in the clothes
that I wear, Like I'm a very gap centered kind
of outfit wearer. Like I have on pants, I have
on jeans, I have a T shirt. I may cut
the neck off of the T shirt sometimes, Yeah, but
I don't do a lot of Like when I.

Speaker 2 (02:00:35):
Look at other people's outfits, I'm like, I met this
guy last week. He had on Listen.

Speaker 5 (02:00:45):
He had on he was a wild outfit kind of dude,
and I was like, this is one hell of a outfit.

Speaker 2 (02:00:53):
I mean, he had on a big pinky ring. He
had on I couldn't figure him out, a neon cut
off gene vest.

Speaker 5 (02:01:01):
With say officially doing the most. I'm not down for
that he was officially doing the most. But I liked
it for him, right, But but I would never date
a man like that. Was you know that I couldn't
that that and that I know, like, I'm very clear
with myself that like there's room in the mirror for one.

Speaker 2 (02:01:24):
Now, see, I don't mind a man who is I
don't want to metrosexual. M I don't.

Speaker 4 (02:01:30):
Oh, I want you to look good. Sometimes I want
you to be my trophy and that could be that
could be my masculine energy. Really yeah, sometimes I want
to have on like a T shirt, leggings and you
you could be a little more sperasier than me. Really,
I don't give a fuck because because you know, I
don't care, because I stand along.

Speaker 2 (02:01:51):
Like when I walk in the room. Here's the thing.

Speaker 4 (02:01:54):
When I walk in a room, I dominate the room
without even trying. Like I don't even try. I walk
in the room and it's like kaboom, guess who stepped
in the room. Even if I don't say much, I
can talk to two people in a corner and it's
like I'm a magnet for human energy.

Speaker 2 (02:02:12):
I want my man to look good, not too good,
because if you talk to him too much, I'm gonna
be like what you're in the space for it. But
like I want a man to be like a gum. No, no, no,
I'm not saying, but I'm just it's interesting. So When
I say metrosexual, I mean like puff daddy, not like

(02:02:35):
what's that.

Speaker 4 (02:02:36):
It's not like Billy Porter. Yeah no, don't Billy Porter me.
But you can puff daddy. You can be puffy, like
look nice. I want, I want to, and I don't
want to have to be the one to tell you
how to look nice, like put your clothes on and
do a good job without Like, I don't want to
have to dress you. Now I might have something to say,

(02:02:58):
and just like you could have something to say about
what I have to put on. Sometimes that's interesting. Oh no,
I don't want no, I don't want no, no dude
looking like crazy. I want you to look good, Absolutely
I do.

Speaker 2 (02:03:12):
You don't.

Speaker 4 (02:03:13):
I'm thinking about it because I'm gonna shine if I
have on to hat a baseball calf T shirt oops,
and leggings and sneakers. My light is so bright that
even when I try to dumb it down, it's still
blinding people.

Speaker 2 (02:03:28):
So you gotta you. You can't be next to me
and not show up right.

Speaker 5 (02:03:32):
No, no, no, I think it's interesting that you say that, like,
because I in my mind when I say that there's
only room in the mirror fl.

Speaker 2 (02:03:41):
Like, I don't mind, like I want someone that looks nice. Yeah,
but I don't want some like I put effort, you
know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (02:03:54):
Like, I don't want someone that I feel like is
putting an inordinate amount of time and into their appearance.

Speaker 4 (02:04:04):
So I don't mind if it's something that they do
like once a week, like if you're cutting your hair
once a week.

Speaker 2 (02:04:10):
If you go get a man of care, I'm okay
with that.

Speaker 5 (02:04:13):
If you go get a pedicure, I'm okay with that
because I might not so if you do those things.

Speaker 2 (02:04:20):
But I don't. When I say maybe, I'm maybe no
no no, I like no, no no, because I do
know men who are like peacocks.

Speaker 4 (02:04:28):
I don't like a peacock, but I do want a
man who takes the initiative to make sure that he
looks good. I think, yeah, like it's important to him
to look good. I don't like a man who doesn't
care about the cut.

Speaker 2 (02:04:41):
Of his jeans. Correct.

Speaker 4 (02:04:43):
So my best friend and I had this conversation. We
were talking to like people that we work with about this,
and she was like, no, she cares about I care.
I don't want a man who has on big, dumb
relaxed with jeans that that I don't like a man
who has on stupid looking shoes.

Speaker 2 (02:05:05):
What are you doing?

Speaker 4 (02:05:07):
Because all you have to do like there are ways
around that, and that doesn't mean that you have to
have one Yeezy's.

Speaker 2 (02:05:12):
Jordan's because you could wear Chuck Taylor's.

Speaker 4 (02:05:15):
You could have a look, and your look could be
around wearing jacket Seales and Chuck Taylors and it could
be it could work for you.

Speaker 5 (02:05:22):
I think style is important, you know, a guy with
style is important. I just it just can't be too much. No,
I don't want you to be So I tell you
a guy who it was much and it was actually.

Speaker 2 (02:05:35):
Much more than me. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:05:38):
I liked it, though everybody because what I saw and
I was like, oh, look at him, all shiny and stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:05:45):
Yeah, I don't know. But but of course like we
didn't he we weren't in a relationship, because that could
be a problem, like every day having to deal with that.
But like, if I ain't seeing you every day, it's fine. So, oh,
Erica's opened the door. Well, look at that. Our other
cousin is here. Hey, Erica. I was just about to

(02:06:09):
ask s RB yes about who she is dating? And
so what do you want to say to the people
about who you're dating.

Speaker 5 (02:06:21):
So I will say that I even when I was
you know, even when I was married, my personal life
I maintained very privately, just because I give that to
people and that's what I, you know, want in return.
But I will say that according to the streets, it

(02:06:42):
was just so funny to.

Speaker 2 (02:06:43):
Me when you were mayor in these streets you was
getting it in listen. People would say, so rap me
and I would want to say, shut your fucking knock.
You don't know anything about it, I like, and I
didn't because I didn't want people to know you even
these streets. It was so funny and into the streets.
But I would laugh with my staff because I would

(02:07:06):
just say, well, who is it?

Speaker 5 (02:07:07):
Tell me what do they look like? You know, like
just like you know, because I was, you know, I
was so boring. You know, I worked, you know what
I mean, I worked period. Well, people create narratives, they do.

Speaker 2 (02:07:21):
But it was just so funny for me because it
was so far from so far from my life.

Speaker 5 (02:07:27):
But then too, when might I even have time? Like
if you look at my schedule, like literally when would
I have time?

Speaker 2 (02:07:34):
And I would say tobody. People might like schedulers.

Speaker 5 (02:07:36):
I'm like, can you just put the time in my
like this time that y'all say you know that I'm
out with this man?

Speaker 2 (02:07:42):
Can I just have that as a block of time
so I could just.

Speaker 4 (02:07:45):
Go get my toenails, paint anything like, just do not
eat a cheeseburger or something, so I could just go
look at the ducks.

Speaker 5 (02:07:52):
And don't don't even get me started. By the time
they thought they had somebody had thought they had a naked.

Speaker 2 (02:07:58):
Picture of me. What Jesus, Oh, yes, the staff brought
this picture.

Speaker 5 (02:08:02):
In that somebody have put on the thing and put
on the Instagram saying it was me and it was
a girl that with a mushroom. What if I ever
had a mushroom? But you know, it's one of those
things where people say it and then.

Speaker 2 (02:08:16):
Everybody believes it it's snowballs, and then the world. My
staff brought it to me and the guy looked like
he was had seen a ghost. I was like, sweetie,
you don't that's not me. You don't know about it.

Speaker 5 (02:08:25):
I said, if somebody tells you that I'm out sleeping around,
you can on your mother tell him that that is
not the case. Man, woman, a child, know that that
is not the case. I said, if someone tells you
that they saw me with e just Elba, I said,
before you deny it, say just come to know me.

Speaker 2 (02:08:43):
If somebody tells you that they saw me with well,
not now because he's married, of course, but you know this,
but yes, years ago when he was single, or if
the new one, because my new blue is damn Syon Idris. Oh,
I don't know him.

Speaker 4 (02:08:57):
Franklin Saint from Snowfall. You don't find he is a
young man. He's twenty five. Oh, I don't look at children.

Speaker 2 (02:09:02):
Well listen, I look okay, and I'm old enough to
be his mammy. And I don't give a ship that
little boy is. He is dumb. Fine, he's so I
was looking at He posted the story because I put
his stories on notification.

Speaker 4 (02:09:18):
I know, because I just want to see he's so
beautiful and brown and delicious. I said, I gotta go
to London because that is where like, it's a lot
of good product coming out of London in a way,
a black man, that's a lot.

Speaker 2 (02:09:33):
I see him on the TV shows. That's the topic.
That's don't be fool, don't be fool.

Speaker 5 (02:09:38):
Okay, well you get over there and selling belts, right,
I would be so toasty.

Speaker 2 (02:09:45):
I would be devastated. I would be devastated. So there
you hear.

Speaker 4 (02:09:49):
People know she ain't telling you none of your business,
mainly because it's not your business. And if you see
her on the streets where somebody will, then there it is.
And if you don't see her on the streets with anybody.

Speaker 2 (02:09:59):
Well, and there it is. I want to thank SRB.
Thank you very much. Do you like that I do
because I really wanted to say your full government name,
but I didn't.

Speaker 5 (02:10:09):
You can.

Speaker 4 (02:10:10):
Yes, I would like to thank Stephanie Rawlings Blake, former
mayor of Baltimore City, the best mayor that we have.
You and Kurt Schmoke are running a tight race for
the best mayors that we've seen.

Speaker 2 (02:10:23):
We'll see what mister Scott can do or will do.
Thank you for taking the time to sit down and
talk to your little cousin. I am so happy that
we made it work. I love everything that you're doing
and aim that you are doing the most. Thank you
keep doing the most. You keep doing the most too.

Speaker 4 (02:10:40):
Every day, every day I'm gonna wake up and say
today my goal is to do the most.

Speaker 2 (02:10:46):
Thank you, love you so much.

Speaker 1 (02:10:55):
You so friends and Ken. For today's straight Facts, we
have a question from Reesa from I hope I'm pronouncing
that right. Risa from Saint Louis Andriesa wants to know,

(02:11:15):
how do you know when it's time to let go
of a friendship? And is there a way to break
up with a friend that isn't ghosting them or an
all out fight. Reesa, You've come to the right place
because I know a lot about this. I'd venture to

(02:11:37):
say it might be my ministry. So when I say that,
I say that in Jess, But what I mean is
that for me, I don't I don't have a hard
time with that because I feel like if something is
not serving my greater good. I've come to learn after

(02:11:59):
years of not even acknowledging or realizing that this is important.
But if it is not serving my greater good, and
it is bringing me more negative energy than positive energy,
or it just doesn't sit well with my spirit, then
it might be time to release a relationship. So the

(02:12:22):
best thing that I can say is that you have
to look at those things like you have to evaluate,
like why do you want to end this friendship. You know,
are there any redeeming qualities in the friend or in
the friendship? And maybe there are, but sometimes you have
to acknowledge also that sometimes people outgrow one another and

(02:12:48):
sometimes you may move forward. And I don't mean as
far as like things or like status, but I mean
like maturity, social and emotional intelligence, awareness, accountability, responsibility, respect, maturity.

(02:13:11):
Like sometimes when people say you grow apart, a lot
of times it has to do with like you guys
just aren't just aren't on the same page anymore. And
if that's okay, I mean, excuse me. If that is
the case, then I think it's okay to not be
friends anymore. So the question is how do you do

(02:13:33):
it without ghosting them? You can just have a conversation
with them. Sometimes that works. I've had that happen where
a friend of mine, a former friend of mine, and
I had a conversation. I said that I didn't like
something that happened. They said, well, you know, it doesn't

(02:13:59):
bother them or whatever. And you know, I just made
a decision because I had to think about how I
show up as a friend, and you know, how I
want my friends to show up for me, and I
just made that decision. And here's the thing, you have
the right to Nobody can tell you that you don't.
You have the right to do that. And then there's

(02:14:21):
also been a time where, you know, me and another
former friend, we just did not speak to each other anymore,
and I think that that probably really.

Speaker 3 (02:14:34):
Hurt.

Speaker 1 (02:14:36):
I think that communicating is the better way to go.
I do, but I also recognize that everybody is not
in a space where they can receive feedback, honest feedback
about who they are and how they are. And if
having that conversation is going to cause you more stress,

(02:14:58):
it ain't worth this is so put yourself through it,
do what you think is best for you, and always
put your peace of mind at the forefront of how
you navigate relationships. That's what I would say. If you've
got to ghost them up, ghost them, and just don't

(02:15:19):
look at it as ghosts and look at it as
I'm preserving my peace of mind by friends and ken.
For today's We Got to Do Better, I took a
quote from one of my favorite authors, one of her books.
That's Tony Morrison. I taught I use quotes from her
all the time on the show and on my social media,

(02:15:43):
and that's Tony Morrison. And this is from her book
Song of Solomon, and this quote says, when you know
your name, you should hang on to it, for unless
it is noted down and remembered, it will die when
you do more time for the people in the back.
When you know your name, you should hang on to it,

(02:16:05):
for unless it is noted down and remembered, it will
die when you do. Friends and kiin. The first thing
I want to do is thank God first, as I said,
because we all know that God is supreme. And if
you don't believe that, that's your business, it's not my business.
But over here, as for me and my podcast, we

(02:16:29):
believe that God is supreme. I recognize and fully appreciate
the grace that God extends to me every single day
of my life, and for that I am grateful. I'm
also grateful for myself. I'm grateful for myself because I
keep on ticking. I take a looking and I keep
on ticking. And I'm grateful that I am still consistent

(02:16:52):
with giving you this podcast every first and fifteenth of
the month. I continue to do the work that it
takes to present it to you, and it is not easy.
It is hard work, and so even if other people
don't thank me, I think myself, I'm grateful for myself
because showing gratitude for yourself is a form of self

(02:17:14):
care and we all know that here at hand Me
My Purse, we are all about self care. I'm very
grateful for my family, Grateful that my cousin Stephanie excuse me,
my cousin SRB was a guest on the show today,
so grateful for that. I'm grateful for my friends, my supporters,
and of course you guys out there who keep on listening.
I love you guys immensely, and I'm ordered to share

(02:17:36):
my time and my energy with you, especially if you
keep coming back. And I can't wait until the next
time that we get to do this again, which will
be on August the first, twenty twenty one. Now, before
you exit out of whatever streaming service you are using
to listen to this podcast, I want you to stop
what you're doing, and if you haven't already done so,

(02:17:57):
scroll up and go click subscribe or fin if that's
an option on the service that you're listening to. I
want you to go head on over to Instagram and
follow me at Handy my Purse Underscore Podcast. Also follow
me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore podcast and on Facebook
just search hand Me My Purse podcast. If you're listening

(02:18:18):
on Apple Podcasts, Ditcher, or Pandora, or any other medium
that allows you to please rate to and review the
show or give it a thumbs up, be sure to
share Handing My Persey with your friends, loved ones, and
even your enemies, because the best way for people to
find out about Handing My Purse is by you guys
telling them about it. So tell a friend to what,

(02:18:39):
tell a friend to tell a friend. And I'm going
to be reading a review today. This review is from
Jazzy five ten and this review says dropping magical Auntie Gems,
let me tell you how I sat down like it
was story time and got totally lost in this conversation. Yes,
conversation because I was responsing like Auntie Supreme herself was

(02:19:01):
sitting with me, laugh out loud. I truly enjoyed all
the feels I got from this topic from the topics
excuse me and relatability. Do yourself a favor and listen
while telling a friend to tell a friend listen people,
get me tell a friend to telefriend.

Speaker 2 (02:19:17):
That's all.

Speaker 1 (02:19:17):
I ask that you listen and share it. Listen, share, rate, review,
because sharing is caring. That's why show notes are always
available at hand Mempurse dot busprout dot com, and I
highly suggest that you get into the habit of reading
the show notes because they have all of the deats

(02:19:39):
that I talk about on the show and some that
I don't talk about on the show. Also, just an fyi,
the opening and closing music is provided by none other
than Gloomy Tunes straight out of Baltimore, and I don't
want you to forget.

Speaker 4 (02:19:53):
You can expect a brand new episode of Hand Me
My Purse the podcast on the first and fifteenth of
every single month, so the same way you expected those
checks on the first and the fifteenth early in the morning,
you already know your girl is going to have you
covered on those days again the first and fifteenth of
every month on your podcast streaming services such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher,

(02:20:19):
dz are for my international friends and ken and anywhere
else you may even think that you can find it,
or you can just.

Speaker 1 (02:20:26):
Go straight to my bus Sprout website and find it there.

Speaker 2 (02:20:30):
I look forward to you looking forward to listening and
I'm out this bitch.

Speaker 1 (02:20:53):
Hand Me my Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
For more shows from iHeart Podcasts, this is the iHeartRadio
app podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,

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RETRO EPISODE No. 31: Politics in Baltimore City + The Freddie Gray Uprising + Skewed Perceptions & Healing w/Stephanie Rawlings-Blake

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}*RETRO EPISODE* No. 31: Politics in Baltimore City + The Freddie Gray Uprising + Skewed Perceptions & Healing w/Stephanie Rawlings-Blake