July 23, 2025 • 30 mins
This episode that we are going to share with you today is all about letting go. Letting go is a process of releasing whatever no longer serves you.
Whether it’s letting go of a painful relationship, letting go of a bad habit ,letting go of an addiction, letting go of anger…. When you are in a situation that is not good for you, you become stuck.
Embracing the idea of letting go can bring change, it can bring healing, it can bring the possibility of new beginnings.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my friend. Welcome, Welcome back. If you've discovered this
podcast and you've already listened to the first few episodes,
Welcome aboard. If you're a newcomer, if you've just discovered
Have a Little Faith with Delilah. This podcast is near
(00:21):
and dear to my heart, because my heart belongs to God.
Everything I have belongs to the Lord, everything everything I
have in Him. I live and breathe and have my being.
And I try, I try so hard not to preach,
but I can't help but share my love for God
(00:44):
because it is such an integral part. It is woven
into the fabric of my dna. It is who I am.
You cannot take away or separate my faith from me
anymore than you could take away my role as a mother.
(01:04):
I've been a mama for a long long time. I
have been parenting since nineteen eighty one, and I just
got custody of three more young children. So I will
be parenting until Jesus comes back or God calls me home.
I will never have an empty nest at this rate,
(01:26):
because I'm sixty five and my youngest child in my
house is five. Do the math, and that's okay with me.
Because I love being a mom, but my faith in
the Lord is as much a part of my being
as my being a mother. More so, because if God
(01:50):
took all my children away, if he took them all home,
I would still cling to God. I would still cling
to Jesus. And so I thought, in that episode of
Have a Little Faith with Delila, I would share with
you how I came to my faith. It's a long story,
(02:11):
so sit back, relax, fix yourself a cup of tea
if you'd like, And my story might be a little
different than a lot of people you meet who are
religious or who affiliate with a church. You have probably
met a lot of religious people in your life. I
(02:31):
did when I was young. I did not like them.
I did not like the way they treated other people.
I did not like hypocrisy. I didn't want any part
of it. I also didn't want any part of, you know,
believing that a higher power had any authority over me.
(02:52):
And because my parents were not people of faith, they
did not have a particular religion they subscribed to. My
mom sent me to a lot of church activities. She did.
She sent us to vacation Bible school, vacation Bible camp.
Every summer four or five different churches to get us
out of the house and to let us go have
(03:15):
fun with other kids. Not because she particularly wanted us
to be Catholic or Baptist or whatever church in our
little town was having VBS. She just wanted us out
of her hair for a few hours. But I learned
a lot, even though her motivation was more about having
(03:38):
me do little glitter glue projects at their church instead
of in our kitchen, I learned a lot. I learned
about Jesus. I didn't know him personally, but I learned
a lot about him. But I didn't identify or claim
(03:59):
a faith when I was a kid or when I
was a teenager. And I learned about Jesus growing up
from going to VBS or going to Catechism. But I
didn't meet Jesus growing up. But God, in all of
his wisdom, put two men in a position of authority
(04:23):
over me in that they got my foot in the
door in radio when I was in junior high and
the two men that owned the local radio station, Jerome
Kanegi and Steve Kanegi, two brothers, and their chief engineer,
Wes Lockard, were all Christians who loved the Lord, and
(04:49):
I was a kid, a rebellious teenager, and those men
loved me and they made me a part of their family.
They made me their baby. They introduced me to their
wives and their kids, and I babysat for them, and
they allowed me to begin developing my style on the
(05:09):
radio when I was in junior high. That was God.
That was God setting that all up. But God put
the Kanegie brothers and put kd u in in my
path when I was just a kid. And let me
tell you how that saved my life. Because I loved
(05:33):
being at the radio station, because I loved being a
part of the Kanegi family and west Locker's family, because
they gave me such a purpose and such a big
vision for my future. I didn't want to lose that.
And because I didn't want to lose that, I didn't
(05:58):
drink and I didn't get high. I knew if I
got drunk on a Friday night, I wouldn't be able
to open up the radio station at five am on
a Saturday morning. I wasn't willing to risk the joy
I had at the radio station for getting drunk or
(06:20):
getting high or doing any of the other crazy things.
My friends were doing in the mid seventies. I wasn't
willing to risk the joy I felt being on the air.
That was what kept me from making some really bad choices.
I didn't recognize at the time that was God's hand
(06:43):
on me. I didn't recognize how the Lord orchestrated all
of that until a few years later. This episode that
we are going to share with you today is all
about letting go. Letting go is a tough process of
(07:05):
releasing whatever no longer serves us, whether it's letting go
of a painful relationship, letting go of a bad habit,
letting go of an addiction, letting go of anger and
(07:28):
rage from the past, letting go of feeling like the victim,
like somebody owes you because they wronged you. Letting go
moving forward, accepting what is, and embracing the idea of
(07:49):
letting go can bring. Change, can bring healing, can bring
the possibility of new beginnings. I always say I've never
let go of anything that didn't have clawmarks all over it.
Because I stink at letting go. I will hold on
(08:10):
to a toxic relationship long past the time I should
have let go, years past the time I should have
let go. I have stayed in friendships. I'm not even
talking dating relationships or marriages. I have stayed in friendships
for years when they were so toxic, so unhealthy for me.
(08:36):
But I couldn't let go. I couldn't walk away. I
just had to try one more thing to fix it.
Are you always trying to fix a situation that you
should be walking away from? While it can be very
challenging and very very very painful, letting go ultimately allows growth.
It allows healing for all involved. The first all I
(09:00):
have to share with you in this podcast is from
a man named Sean. Sean is kind of breaking my
heart right now because I've been exactly where he is.
I have been there way more times than I would
like to admit. Let's hear Sean's story right now. Good evening,
(09:21):
Welcome to the Delilah Show. Who is this?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
This is Sean? How are you?
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Deliah?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Sean? I'm wonderful, how are you?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I'm sad, but I'm hopeful. I'm hoping you can find
a song for me that will give somebody else some inspiration.
A fight off a bad habit that caused them to
become aggressive and assaultive, be arrested and do bad things
(09:50):
to their fiance being me.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
So, your girlfriend is addicted to what she.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Got addicted to cocaine she got she got into a
car and she had a little brain swelling and got
postconcusive syndrome. So she got really depressed. I got her
some help, A neurologist got her you know, mental health
as well, you know, to deal with the depression and stuff.
She didn't take the medication she was prescribed and turned
(10:18):
to drugs to an old friend of hers who was
bad news. And she knew it beforehand. When she was
with me for the two years, she told me all
about them, A long story short. She's mixed up with him.
Now I found out about it. I found the remnants
of the drug in the bathroom. She got very mad
at me. I got married very mad at her because
(10:39):
of it, and she assaulted me. She's being tried for
that and all that stuff. But I know it's because
of the drugs, you know what I mean. It's not her.
I know this in my heart. There's a huge agent
difference between us. But I'm a huge part of her family,
her mother, her father, her grandmother, every buddy, her brother.
(11:01):
I employed end up employing her brother for years and
trained him to be a master, you know, to be
a technician. I'm a master technician. And everybody, unfortunately, has
isolated her because of this incident. Her whole family. She's
isolated in that drug situation. And I'm just hoping that
she's listening and and and you can play something that
(11:25):
you know, I don't know that would that would let
her see that this is what's going on, you know,
to give her hope to go and get help. She
needs help, and she knows she needs help, honey, in
the same breath. She's addicted to it already. And I
can't help her until she wants to ask for it.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
No, you can't help her even after she asks for it,
because the kind of help she needs, you can't give her.
The kind of help she needs comes from from going
to to na, going to people who've battled this addiction,
going to people who know what it's like. But first
she has to want to get help.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Right exactly, and whether she wants it or not. Unfortunately,
she's going to be getting it next week. There is
a big court day coming up. It's her trial.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Trust me. If she's not ready, I know, But I've.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Lost everything though, I meaning, I lost her whole family,
and everybody.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Go to speak you know, why why are they not
speaking to you because of.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
All this stuff. There's a no contact order natural that
comes in up with all the assaults and.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Stuff, right, But what does that have to do with them.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's just the way that the law works. We were
living together for two years. She was so right. Now
she's in between places and she was staying at her
grandmother's and her mother and father won't let her in
the house because of what happened. So they're mad at her,
but they just don't want to get in the middle
of it.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I don't blame them. You know, they're they're they're trying.
You know, obviously it's their daughter, but you know they
love me too, and they don't want to get in
the middle of it. And I don't blame them, And
you know, it's it's their family. So I don't feel
like I feel like I'm almost intruding, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, So have you ever been to a Nara non meeting?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
No?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I have not.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Naran On in a r A n O n narn
On is a twelve step program okay for people who
love people who love drugs, well, brothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, moms,
dads who are emotionally unavailable to their relationship because they
(13:40):
are high. Narann On is for people who love people
who loved drugs.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I didn't know the addiction the whole time that it
was going on. I really thought it was because of
the posting because of syndrome. But it was the last assault,
she broke through the bathroom door that I had found
the little baggy, and it was almost like flashbacks Forlilah.
(14:10):
It was there was I remembered all the other assaults
because of the same look in her eye. Her eyes
always got really really black. I thought again was because
of the post concussive. It's because of the cocaine. So
all the pages kind of came together in like a
split second. It was terrible. It was horrible. Basically, I've
been being used for over a year, you know, and
(14:32):
you know the engagement ring D.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Do yourself a favor and go to at least can
help go to at least six meetings, six or eight
meetings of naran On.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I need to write this down because I had a
stroke ten days ago. Again because of all the.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Stress and the heartache and the disappointment and the grief
and the loss that you are going through. You already
know this because you said you just had a stroke
from this dress. It will kill you.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah, it will, I know, absolutely will. But it was
it was close.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
So go to Naranan.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Okay, I have thank you very much. You know it's disheartening.
You know, I have to do what I have to do,
like you said, in order for me to make sure
that I distanced myself from that, and I did that.
All of our stuff is out and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Unfortunately, if you don't get help, you will repeat the
same pattern because you are very much a caregiver. You
are very much and I'm going to take care of you.
I'm going to take care of your brother. I'm going
to take care of the world. And you're going to
repeat the pattern and the next person that you give
your heart to is going to have be emotionally unavailable
(15:49):
because you are attracted to people that you can rescue.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I wonder, yeah, I do wonder that.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I don't I don't know that that was the first
person that I've had.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I mean I was married twice prior.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Okay, you just said everything I need to hear. You
have failed relationships, and I would bet you most of
the time you are the one who is left holding
the bag or are you right? So go to a
Naranan okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Well well I'll go and can you play something for
me tonight?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I will play something for you. I'm not going to
play something for her right now. She's using she can't
hear anything you have to say. But I am going,
yep to play something for you.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
You are welcome. God bless you. You're going to be okay.
You're going to make it through. I promise you.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
You know what you help the ton You have no idea.
I listened to you every night. We used to listen
to you every night. So thank you very much. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I tried. Come on, you can't say I didn't try.
I tried very very hard to get through to Sean.
But he, my friend, is in deep denial. I'm not
so sure I succeeded in convincing him to seek help
for himself, but I hope that he does look into
(17:18):
a twelve step program, a support group that will help
him to open his eyes. Sean, open your eyes, my friend,
take off the rose colored glasses. He really, really really
needs to let go of the idea that he can
control any of this. Addictions destroy people, They destroy relationships,
(17:42):
especially families, and it's heartbreaking. It is so heartbreaking when
you love someone with every nano fiber is that something?
Is that a thing? Nano fibers of your being? And
you know that, you know that, you know that they
are lying through their teeth, that they are living a
(18:05):
lie because you want to believe, You want to believe
they care, and they do care. They just care about
their addictions more. I hope Sean will go to a meeting.
I hope he will find a good counselor a healthy
support system and let go and let God. The next
(18:26):
story I want to share with you is from a
listener named Victoria. Victoria is dealing with losses that she
had no choice about. However, Victoria has an amazing attitude
of acceptance. I want to share Victoria's story with you
right now. Hi, Victoria, are you calling me from your
(18:47):
car tonight?
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I am Are you driving? Oh?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Well, I am sitting still, but my phone is connected
to my car.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Few blueche okay, good, so you're safe. Tell me who's
on your heart or what's on your heart?
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Well, my grandfather died four days ago, and so my
heart is sad tonight.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
How old was your grandpa?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
He was ninety two.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Yeah, he lived a long life.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Best lesson or best value? Grandpa taught you well.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
When I spent time with him last year before he died,
he told me to save money.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
That's a good value. Saving for a rainy day always
a good value.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Yes, No, I was really close to him and my
grandmother both when I was younger. My mother left my
dad and I when I was five, and my grandfather
had a clock shop out of his house, and so
he taught my dad how to fix clocks, and so
I was over at their house all the time. So
(19:59):
I spent a lo lot of time with my grandfather
and my grandmother. There's just there's been a lot of
things in the last few days that have been good memories,
but they they bring tears, of course.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So mom dipped on you when you were howled five? Wow,
that's a lot. So your dad was a single dad
and grandparents filled in the gaps. Yes, God bless them.
Did your mom ever come back and make amends or
was she just gone, gone gone.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
I mean she was in my life, but she was
kind of, well, my dad always called her the She
was kind of like the fun aunt. She would come
in and you know, be the fun mom, and then
she would bring me home and you know, be on
her way again. So and another thing that when I
(20:55):
spent time with my grandfather at the end of last year.
He was very religious, and I grew up religious, but
I haven't. I haven't spent as much time in church
as an adult. But I told him that I will
see him again someday. And we talked about my grandmother,
(21:15):
who died about ten years ago, and how we both
missed her very much. And I asked him when he
got to heaven to tell her that I love her.
And so I'll see them again someday. And you know,
that does bring me comfort, but it's so hard having
them gone.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
But what a great joy and great hope that you
know that you know that, you know, you know in
the core of your being that eternity waits, and when
it's your time, you will see them again forever forever. Yes,
no separation, no sickness, no tears, no pain, nothing but eternity.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Yeah. To love one another yeah, and you know my grandfather.
So my grandmother she had been on dialysis for eleven
years when she died, and my grandfather took care of
her every single day of that eleven years. And they
had been married for sixty four years when she died.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
That is unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
I know, it's crazy. They they got married when he
was seventeen and she was twenty one.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Ah, so grandma was a little on the wild side.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Yeah, and they told me stories. They were both in
seminary school down in Florida, and back then you couldn't
go on regular dates, and so every day my grandfather
would go out of his way to walk her to breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. And when they did go on their first date,
they had to be they had to have a chaperone,
(22:58):
and so they chose the teacher that was hard of hearing,
and one of my grandfather's friends went along and he
made a distraction so my grandfather could hold my grandmother's hands.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Oh my goodness, and now they're holding hands in eternity.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I will play a song for him, for your grandma,
but mostly for you.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Thank you very much, Delilah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
All right, God bless you. Honey, thank you for Colin,
Thank you for letting me be a part of your family.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
What a sweet, mature young woman. Victoria had no choice
about her mom letting her go when she was just
a baby. She decided not to get angry. Instead, she
let go of the idea of that relationship and instead
embrace the love her grandparents did have to share with her.
(23:56):
The last call I'm going to share with you in
this podcast is from a man named Brian. Brian is
in a relationship that he wants to end, only he's
not admitting that to himself, and in doing so, he's
stringing along a woman who is younger than him, who
is committed to him, even though he's not all in.
(24:18):
I can tell Brian's a really good guy, but he's
having some trouble telling himself the truth. The truth is,
he told it to me. He's not interested in committing
and loving her completely and fully. He needs to let
her go so she can move on, so that she
can find the right one. He's not, mister Wright. He
(24:41):
knows that, and she is entitled to somebody who will
adore her. Let's hear from Brian right now. Tell me
what you think, Brian, this is Delilah. Speak up nice
and loud so I can hear you. What can I
do for you?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yes, Uh, I'm kind of in a dilemm here. I
want to move away to another state because I'm going
back and want to go back home to another state,
and my girlfriend here wants to go with me, and
I really don't want her to.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
So you're trying to break up with her, but be
smooth about it. Huh.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
Well, I don't want to, but I don't want her
to have to move and move her family and everything
and move away from her family too, because I don't
see where it's fair.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
But I mean, how old are you? I'm forty nine,
and how old is your girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
She's thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
So what you're saying is you don't want to live
with her, You don't want to be with her, You
want your independence, and you want to go. So don't
try to be a hero and say, oh, I just
don't want you to have to move your family baby,
blah blah blah, because that's not the truth. Brian. If
you wanted to be with her, if she was the
top priority, you would move having and earth to stay
with her and to make it work. The fact that
(25:53):
you would rather go back to your mama or your
family or whoever, and you don't want her to come
with means you don't want to commit her, which is fine.
Just be honest about what you want.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
The fact that you are wanting to move to a
completely different state and you do not want her and
her family to move to that state means this relationship
is not your top priority, which is fine. Just be
honest about it.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
So you're saying I should just go ahead and be
done with the relationship.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I'm saying you should be honest with yourself and if
she is not your top priority and say I enjoy you,
I love you. You have a lot of great qualities,
but you are not my top priority.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Right. I do owe it that much?
Speaker 1 (26:43):
You do, and you owe yourself that much. You owe
yourself the truth. There is no crime, there is no foul,
There is nothing wrong with saying this is not what
I envision for my future. You don't have to beat
yourself up. You're not a bad person. You haven't done
anything wrong. So love her enough and respect her enough
(27:04):
to be honest about that.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Right, you know, I do over that much.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
You do owe her that much, and then you can
move on with your life and she will be free
to find the person that loves her enough to move
heaven and earth just to wake up and see her
beautiful face.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yes, she deserves that, so do you. Yeah. I appreciate
the advice good luck.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That call from Brian spoke to me so much, because honestly,
I have been on both sides of that equation. I have.
It's more than okay to end or leave a relationship
that's not working, not a marriage. It's not okay to
just walk away from a marriage because that's a sacred
(27:53):
covenant that you need to work on if you can,
and you need to save it if you can. But
when you are dating somebody, it's okay to say, hey,
this isn't the right fit. You know what, I know it,
Let's kiss and say goodbye so we can find the
(28:14):
person that we fit with. You don't have to be disingenuous,
just be honest, and though it's going to hurt, letting
go is the kindest thing you can do when you
know you are not fully invested. Lastly, I want to
share with you one of the sweetest prayers that I
learned in the twelve step program. You've heard it. I'm
(28:37):
sure it's called the Serenity Prayer. No matter your faith,
I am sure many of you know this. God grant
me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom
to know the difference. God grant me the serenity to
(28:59):
accept the things I cannot change. That is other people,
that is politics, that is the economics of our world,
that is any body outside of you. The courage to
change the things I can. That means change your attitude,
(29:20):
change your behaviors, change the way you relate to situations
or people. Change your eating habits, change your sleeping habits,
take care of you, eat healthy food, go for long walks,
get plenty of rest, change your environment. If you must move,
(29:40):
leave the area, find a better job, find a better fit.
The wisdom to know the difference. That's the key. Sometimes
we do not have that wisdom innately, but God can
give it to us. God can illuminate the situations we
need to be letting go of. Thank you for joining
(30:01):
me today. Your stories both touch me and teach me
a lot. So if you have something to share, if
you have a God's story. You want to share how
God has laid something on your heart put you in
a new direction. Answer to prayer, Call me Monday through
Friday one eight eight, eight, six, three, three, five, four
(30:25):
five two until next time. Subscribe to this podcast anywhere
you download your podcast, and remember to have a little faith,
Be love,
Hello, my friend. Welcome, Welcome back. If you've discovered this
podcast and you've already listened to the first few episodes,
Welcome aboard. If you're a newcomer, if you've just discovered
Have a Little Faith with Delilah. This podcast is near
(00:21):
and dear to my heart, because my heart belongs to God.
Everything I have belongs to the Lord, everything everything I
have in Him. I live and breathe and have my being.
And I try, I try so hard not to preach,
but I can't help but share my love for God
(00:44):
because it is such an integral part. It is woven
into the fabric of my dna. It is who I am.
You cannot take away or separate my faith from me
anymore than you could take away my role as a mother.
(01:04):
I've been a mama for a long long time. I
have been parenting since nineteen eighty one, and I just
got custody of three more young children. So I will
be parenting until Jesus comes back or God calls me home.
I will never have an empty nest at this rate,
(01:26):
because I'm sixty five and my youngest child in my
house is five. Do the math, and that's okay with me.
Because I love being a mom, but my faith in
the Lord is as much a part of my being
as my being a mother. More so, because if God
(01:50):
took all my children away, if he took them all home,
I would still cling to God. I would still cling
to Jesus. And so I thought, in that episode of
Have a Little Faith with Delila, I would share with
you how I came to my faith. It's a long story,
(02:11):
so sit back, relax, fix yourself a cup of tea
if you'd like, And my story might be a little
different than a lot of people you meet who are
religious or who affiliate with a church. You have probably
met a lot of religious people in your life. I
(02:31):
did when I was young. I did not like them.
I did not like the way they treated other people.
I did not like hypocrisy. I didn't want any part
of it. I also didn't want any part of, you know,
believing that a higher power had any authority over me.
(02:52):
And because my parents were not people of faith, they
did not have a particular religion they subscribed to. My
mom sent me to a lot of church activities. She did.
She sent us to vacation Bible school, vacation Bible camp.
Every summer four or five different churches to get us
out of the house and to let us go have
(03:15):
fun with other kids. Not because she particularly wanted us
to be Catholic or Baptist or whatever church in our
little town was having VBS. She just wanted us out
of her hair for a few hours. But I learned
a lot, even though her motivation was more about having
(03:38):
me do little glitter glue projects at their church instead
of in our kitchen, I learned a lot. I learned
about Jesus. I didn't know him personally, but I learned
a lot about him. But I didn't identify or claim
(03:59):
a faith when I was a kid or when I
was a teenager. And I learned about Jesus growing up
from going to VBS or going to Catechism. But I
didn't meet Jesus growing up. But God, in all of
his wisdom, put two men in a position of authority
(04:23):
over me in that they got my foot in the
door in radio when I was in junior high and
the two men that owned the local radio station, Jerome
Kanegi and Steve Kanegi, two brothers, and their chief engineer,
Wes Lockard, were all Christians who loved the Lord, and
(04:49):
I was a kid, a rebellious teenager, and those men
loved me and they made me a part of their family.
They made me their baby. They introduced me to their
wives and their kids, and I babysat for them, and
they allowed me to begin developing my style on the
(05:09):
radio when I was in junior high. That was God.
That was God setting that all up. But God put
the Kanegie brothers and put kd u in in my
path when I was just a kid. And let me
tell you how that saved my life. Because I loved
(05:33):
being at the radio station, because I loved being a
part of the Kanegi family and west Locker's family, because
they gave me such a purpose and such a big
vision for my future. I didn't want to lose that.
And because I didn't want to lose that, I didn't
(05:58):
drink and I didn't get high. I knew if I
got drunk on a Friday night, I wouldn't be able
to open up the radio station at five am on
a Saturday morning. I wasn't willing to risk the joy
I had at the radio station for getting drunk or
(06:20):
getting high or doing any of the other crazy things.
My friends were doing in the mid seventies. I wasn't
willing to risk the joy I felt being on the air.
That was what kept me from making some really bad choices.
I didn't recognize at the time that was God's hand
(06:43):
on me. I didn't recognize how the Lord orchestrated all
of that until a few years later. This episode that
we are going to share with you today is all
about letting go. Letting go is a tough process of
(07:05):
releasing whatever no longer serves us, whether it's letting go
of a painful relationship, letting go of a bad habit,
letting go of an addiction, letting go of anger and
(07:28):
rage from the past, letting go of feeling like the victim,
like somebody owes you because they wronged you. Letting go
moving forward, accepting what is, and embracing the idea of
(07:49):
letting go can bring. Change, can bring healing, can bring
the possibility of new beginnings. I always say I've never
let go of anything that didn't have clawmarks all over it.
Because I stink at letting go. I will hold on
(08:10):
to a toxic relationship long past the time I should
have let go, years past the time I should have
let go. I have stayed in friendships. I'm not even
talking dating relationships or marriages. I have stayed in friendships
for years when they were so toxic, so unhealthy for me.
(08:36):
But I couldn't let go. I couldn't walk away. I
just had to try one more thing to fix it.
Are you always trying to fix a situation that you
should be walking away from? While it can be very
challenging and very very very painful, letting go ultimately allows growth.
It allows healing for all involved. The first all I
(09:00):
have to share with you in this podcast is from
a man named Sean. Sean is kind of breaking my
heart right now because I've been exactly where he is.
I have been there way more times than I would
like to admit. Let's hear Sean's story right now. Good evening,
(09:21):
Welcome to the Delilah Show. Who is this?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
This is Sean? How are you?
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Deliah?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Sean? I'm wonderful, how are you?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I'm sad, but I'm hopeful. I'm hoping you can find
a song for me that will give somebody else some inspiration.
A fight off a bad habit that caused them to
become aggressive and assaultive, be arrested and do bad things
(09:50):
to their fiance being me.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
So, your girlfriend is addicted to what she.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Got addicted to cocaine she got she got into a
car and she had a little brain swelling and got
postconcusive syndrome. So she got really depressed. I got her
some help, A neurologist got her you know, mental health
as well, you know, to deal with the depression and stuff.
She didn't take the medication she was prescribed and turned
(10:18):
to drugs to an old friend of hers who was
bad news. And she knew it beforehand. When she was
with me for the two years, she told me all
about them, A long story short. She's mixed up with him.
Now I found out about it. I found the remnants
of the drug in the bathroom. She got very mad
at me. I got married very mad at her because
(10:39):
of it, and she assaulted me. She's being tried for
that and all that stuff. But I know it's because
of the drugs, you know what I mean. It's not her.
I know this in my heart. There's a huge agent
difference between us. But I'm a huge part of her family,
her mother, her father, her grandmother, every buddy, her brother.
(11:01):
I employed end up employing her brother for years and
trained him to be a master, you know, to be
a technician. I'm a master technician. And everybody, unfortunately, has
isolated her because of this incident. Her whole family. She's
isolated in that drug situation. And I'm just hoping that
she's listening and and and you can play something that
(11:25):
you know, I don't know that would that would let
her see that this is what's going on, you know,
to give her hope to go and get help. She
needs help, and she knows she needs help, honey, in
the same breath. She's addicted to it already. And I
can't help her until she wants to ask for it.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
No, you can't help her even after she asks for it,
because the kind of help she needs, you can't give her.
The kind of help she needs comes from from going
to to na, going to people who've battled this addiction,
going to people who know what it's like. But first
she has to want to get help.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Right exactly, and whether she wants it or not. Unfortunately,
she's going to be getting it next week. There is
a big court day coming up. It's her trial.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Trust me. If she's not ready, I know, But I've.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Lost everything though, I meaning, I lost her whole family,
and everybody.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Go to speak you know, why why are they not
speaking to you because of.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
All this stuff. There's a no contact order natural that
comes in up with all the assaults and.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Stuff, right, But what does that have to do with them.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's just the way that the law works. We were
living together for two years. She was so right. Now
she's in between places and she was staying at her
grandmother's and her mother and father won't let her in
the house because of what happened. So they're mad at her,
but they just don't want to get in the middle
of it.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I don't blame them. You know, they're they're they're trying.
You know, obviously it's their daughter, but you know they
love me too, and they don't want to get in
the middle of it. And I don't blame them, And
you know, it's it's their family. So I don't feel
like I feel like I'm almost intruding, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, So have you ever been to a Nara non meeting?
Speaker 4 (13:15):
No?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I have not.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Naran On in a r A n O n narn
On is a twelve step program okay for people who
love people who love drugs, well, brothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, moms,
dads who are emotionally unavailable to their relationship because they
(13:40):
are high. Narann On is for people who love people
who loved drugs.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I didn't know the addiction the whole time that it
was going on. I really thought it was because of
the posting because of syndrome. But it was the last assault,
she broke through the bathroom door that I had found
the little baggy, and it was almost like flashbacks Forlilah.
(14:10):
It was there was I remembered all the other assaults
because of the same look in her eye. Her eyes
always got really really black. I thought again was because
of the post concussive. It's because of the cocaine. So
all the pages kind of came together in like a
split second. It was terrible. It was horrible. Basically, I've
been being used for over a year, you know, and
(14:32):
you know the engagement ring D.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Do yourself a favor and go to at least can
help go to at least six meetings, six or eight
meetings of naran On.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I need to write this down because I had a
stroke ten days ago. Again because of all the.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Stress and the heartache and the disappointment and the grief
and the loss that you are going through. You already
know this because you said you just had a stroke
from this dress. It will kill you.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah, it will, I know, absolutely will. But it was
it was close.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
So go to Naranan.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Okay, I have thank you very much. You know it's disheartening.
You know, I have to do what I have to do,
like you said, in order for me to make sure
that I distanced myself from that, and I did that.
All of our stuff is out and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Unfortunately, if you don't get help, you will repeat the
same pattern because you are very much a caregiver. You
are very much and I'm going to take care of you.
I'm going to take care of your brother. I'm going
to take care of the world. And you're going to
repeat the pattern and the next person that you give
your heart to is going to have be emotionally unavailable
(15:49):
because you are attracted to people that you can rescue.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I wonder, yeah, I do wonder that.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I don't I don't know that that was the first
person that I've had.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I mean I was married twice prior.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Okay, you just said everything I need to hear. You
have failed relationships, and I would bet you most of
the time you are the one who is left holding
the bag or are you right? So go to a
Naranan okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Well well I'll go and can you play something for
me tonight?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I will play something for you. I'm not going to
play something for her right now. She's using she can't
hear anything you have to say. But I am going,
yep to play something for you.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
You are welcome. God bless you. You're going to be okay.
You're going to make it through. I promise you.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
You know what you help the ton You have no idea.
I listened to you every night. We used to listen
to you every night. So thank you very much. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I tried. Come on, you can't say I didn't try.
I tried very very hard to get through to Sean.
But he, my friend, is in deep denial. I'm not
so sure I succeeded in convincing him to seek help
for himself, but I hope that he does look into
(17:18):
a twelve step program, a support group that will help
him to open his eyes. Sean, open your eyes, my friend,
take off the rose colored glasses. He really, really really
needs to let go of the idea that he can
control any of this. Addictions destroy people, They destroy relationships,
(17:42):
especially families, and it's heartbreaking. It is so heartbreaking when
you love someone with every nano fiber is that something?
Is that a thing? Nano fibers of your being? And
you know that, you know that, you know that they
are lying through their teeth, that they are living a
(18:05):
lie because you want to believe, You want to believe
they care, and they do care. They just care about
their addictions more. I hope Sean will go to a meeting.
I hope he will find a good counselor a healthy
support system and let go and let God. The next
(18:26):
story I want to share with you is from a
listener named Victoria. Victoria is dealing with losses that she
had no choice about. However, Victoria has an amazing attitude
of acceptance. I want to share Victoria's story with you
right now. Hi, Victoria, are you calling me from your
(18:47):
car tonight?
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I am Are you driving? Oh?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Well, I am sitting still, but my phone is connected
to my car.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Few blueche okay, good, so you're safe. Tell me who's
on your heart or what's on your heart?
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Well, my grandfather died four days ago, and so my
heart is sad tonight.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
How old was your grandpa?
Speaker 4 (19:13):
He was ninety two.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Yeah, he lived a long life.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Best lesson or best value? Grandpa taught you well.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
When I spent time with him last year before he died,
he told me to save money.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
That's a good value. Saving for a rainy day always
a good value.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Yes, No, I was really close to him and my
grandmother both when I was younger. My mother left my
dad and I when I was five, and my grandfather
had a clock shop out of his house, and so
he taught my dad how to fix clocks, and so
I was over at their house all the time. So
(19:59):
I spent a lo lot of time with my grandfather
and my grandmother. There's just there's been a lot of
things in the last few days that have been good memories,
but they they bring tears, of course.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So mom dipped on you when you were howled five? Wow,
that's a lot. So your dad was a single dad
and grandparents filled in the gaps. Yes, God bless them.
Did your mom ever come back and make amends or
was she just gone, gone gone.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
I mean she was in my life, but she was
kind of, well, my dad always called her the She
was kind of like the fun aunt. She would come
in and you know, be the fun mom, and then
she would bring me home and you know, be on
her way again. So and another thing that when I
(20:55):
spent time with my grandfather at the end of last year.
He was very religious, and I grew up religious, but
I haven't. I haven't spent as much time in church
as an adult. But I told him that I will
see him again someday. And we talked about my grandmother,
(21:15):
who died about ten years ago, and how we both
missed her very much. And I asked him when he
got to heaven to tell her that I love her.
And so I'll see them again someday. And you know,
that does bring me comfort, but it's so hard having
them gone.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
But what a great joy and great hope that you
know that you know that, you know, you know in
the core of your being that eternity waits, and when
it's your time, you will see them again forever forever. Yes,
no separation, no sickness, no tears, no pain, nothing but eternity.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Yeah. To love one another yeah, and you know my grandfather.
So my grandmother she had been on dialysis for eleven
years when she died, and my grandfather took care of
her every single day of that eleven years. And they
had been married for sixty four years when she died.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
That is unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
I know, it's crazy. They they got married when he
was seventeen and she was twenty one.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Ah, so grandma was a little on the wild side.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
Yeah, and they told me stories. They were both in
seminary school down in Florida, and back then you couldn't
go on regular dates, and so every day my grandfather
would go out of his way to walk her to breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. And when they did go on their first date,
they had to be they had to have a chaperone,
(22:58):
and so they chose the teacher that was hard of hearing,
and one of my grandfather's friends went along and he
made a distraction so my grandfather could hold my grandmother's hands.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Oh my goodness, and now they're holding hands in eternity.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
I will play a song for him, for your grandma,
but mostly for you.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Thank you very much, Delilah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
All right, God bless you. Honey, thank you for Colin,
Thank you for letting me be a part of your family.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
What a sweet, mature young woman. Victoria had no choice
about her mom letting her go when she was just
a baby. She decided not to get angry. Instead, she
let go of the idea of that relationship and instead
embrace the love her grandparents did have to share with her.
(23:56):
The last call I'm going to share with you in
this podcast is from a man named Brian. Brian is
in a relationship that he wants to end, only he's
not admitting that to himself, and in doing so, he's
stringing along a woman who is younger than him, who
is committed to him, even though he's not all in.
(24:18):
I can tell Brian's a really good guy, but he's
having some trouble telling himself the truth. The truth is,
he told it to me. He's not interested in committing
and loving her completely and fully. He needs to let
her go so she can move on, so that she
can find the right one. He's not, mister Wright. He
(24:41):
knows that, and she is entitled to somebody who will
adore her. Let's hear from Brian right now. Tell me
what you think, Brian, this is Delilah. Speak up nice
and loud so I can hear you. What can I
do for you?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yes, Uh, I'm kind of in a dilemm here. I
want to move away to another state because I'm going
back and want to go back home to another state,
and my girlfriend here wants to go with me, and
I really don't want her to.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
So you're trying to break up with her, but be
smooth about it. Huh.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
Well, I don't want to, but I don't want her
to have to move and move her family and everything
and move away from her family too, because I don't
see where it's fair.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
But I mean, how old are you? I'm forty nine,
and how old is your girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
She's thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
So what you're saying is you don't want to live
with her, You don't want to be with her, You
want your independence, and you want to go. So don't
try to be a hero and say, oh, I just
don't want you to have to move your family baby,
blah blah blah, because that's not the truth. Brian. If
you wanted to be with her, if she was the
top priority, you would move having and earth to stay
with her and to make it work. The fact that
(25:53):
you would rather go back to your mama or your
family or whoever, and you don't want her to come
with means you don't want to commit her, which is fine.
Just be honest about what you want.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
The fact that you are wanting to move to a
completely different state and you do not want her and
her family to move to that state means this relationship
is not your top priority, which is fine. Just be
honest about it.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
So you're saying I should just go ahead and be
done with the relationship.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I'm saying you should be honest with yourself and if
she is not your top priority and say I enjoy you,
I love you. You have a lot of great qualities,
but you are not my top priority.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Right. I do owe it that much?
Speaker 1 (26:43):
You do, and you owe yourself that much. You owe
yourself the truth. There is no crime, there is no foul,
There is nothing wrong with saying this is not what
I envision for my future. You don't have to beat
yourself up. You're not a bad person. You haven't done
anything wrong. So love her enough and respect her enough
(27:04):
to be honest about that.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Right, you know, I do over that much.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
You do owe her that much, and then you can
move on with your life and she will be free
to find the person that loves her enough to move
heaven and earth just to wake up and see her
beautiful face.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yes, she deserves that, so do you. Yeah. I appreciate
the advice good luck.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That call from Brian spoke to me so much, because honestly,
I have been on both sides of that equation. I have.
It's more than okay to end or leave a relationship
that's not working, not a marriage. It's not okay to
just walk away from a marriage because that's a sacred
(27:53):
covenant that you need to work on if you can,
and you need to save it if you can. But
when you are dating somebody, it's okay to say, hey,
this isn't the right fit. You know what, I know it,
Let's kiss and say goodbye so we can find the
(28:14):
person that we fit with. You don't have to be disingenuous,
just be honest, and though it's going to hurt, letting
go is the kindest thing you can do when you
know you are not fully invested. Lastly, I want to
share with you one of the sweetest prayers that I
learned in the twelve step program. You've heard it. I'm
(28:37):
sure it's called the Serenity Prayer. No matter your faith,
I am sure many of you know this. God grant
me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom
to know the difference. God grant me the serenity to
(28:59):
accept the things I cannot change. That is other people,
that is politics, that is the economics of our world,
that is any body outside of you. The courage to
change the things I can. That means change your attitude,
(29:20):
change your behaviors, change the way you relate to situations
or people. Change your eating habits, change your sleeping habits,
take care of you, eat healthy food, go for long walks,
get plenty of rest, change your environment. If you must move,
(29:40):
leave the area, find a better job, find a better fit.
The wisdom to know the difference. That's the key. Sometimes
we do not have that wisdom innately, but God can
give it to us. God can illuminate the situations we
need to be letting go of. Thank you for joining
(30:01):
me today. Your stories both touch me and teach me
a lot. So if you have something to share, if
you have a God's story. You want to share how
God has laid something on your heart put you in
a new direction. Answer to prayer, Call me Monday through
Friday one eight eight, eight, six, three, three, five, four
(30:25):
five two until next time. Subscribe to this podcast anywhere
you download your podcast, and remember to have a little faith,
Be love,
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