April 25, 2022 • 26 mins
Are Eric and Roselyn are having an argument, right here, for us to hear?! I kinda think so....are we taking sides?!
Then, Eric wants to discuss "Wife Guilt". Is this even a real thing?!!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is, he said, a Vihu with Eric Winter and
rogaland Fantas. Oh my god, Ry goin through so much
stuff going on. I want to I want to start
by sharing something. I decided that I wanted to foster
um a dog, because you know, I'm here by myself,
(00:23):
and I said, it's gonna be good for me if
I just have something that i'm taking care of, that
I'm taking care of. And this organization called Love Animal
Rescue Rescue. This dog, though, I called her Fantasy because
she used to visit the set of Fantasy Island all
the time. She lived at the beach at Coco Beach.
When they capture her, they named her Coco because the
(00:44):
area that she grew up in it's called Cocoa Beach,
where we should part of Fantasy Island. So she was
part of like the cruel feeder, like you will accept food,
but she would not allow you to touch her. Anyways.
Make the story short, she got saved, she got fixed
because she wasn't heat. She got Now she's living at
the shelter. I went to visit her, and I was like,
(01:04):
you know, about a couple of days later, I couldn't
stop thinking about her, and I was like, I'm just
gonna go and get her so she can live here
with me for a little bit until I can find
forever home. I've never I've never experienced helping a dog
or owning a dog that comes from the streets, no
previous owner at all, like a true stray from the streets.
(01:26):
So she came in with a lot of psychological issues,
like she doesn't know what's a leash. She's used to
eating I'm assuming iguanas or whatever she can find. She
doesn't know love, she doesn't know anything. It was so hard,
it was too difficult. I had to take her back
(01:48):
to the shelter. We had almost two days. She was
gonna give me a heart attack, like every time I
took her out on a walk with the leash, because
she didn't know what that was. And I live my
villa is very close by two where she grew up,
so it's almost like the beach here smells like her beach.
And it's like, I'm assuming she probably work this grounds
(02:10):
and this golf course and all this eric She wanted out,
She wanted to run away so badly, even though I
was fitting her. She slept in the bedroom with me,
with her condition. I was like, girl, you live in
a freaking life. You're living a life, and I'm assuming
it's instinct. I thought she was gonna run away. I would.
(02:32):
This morning, I was on a fight thord in the morning,
I took her out, like at six thirty on seven
because I'm going she needs to go party, because she's
gonna be all over all over the place. It took
I was like for forty five minutes negotiating with this being,
trying to get her back in. I thought I was
gonna die. I' mean tears going like I'm asking God,
(02:53):
can how can you help me? She doesn't let me
carry her, she's too I feel like a loser, my loser.
Here's the thing. Let me start by saying something positive.
I always have tons of respect and appreciation and admiration
for how much you continue to want to always do
with helping dogs, and you know we both are always
all about it and raising money and and uh, the
(03:16):
amount of time that you give to your causes are
It's incredible. The only thing I'm confused about is if
everybody would have seen the text messages I received maybe
before that and Nick, literally before I'm going to bed,
I got I don't know, five paragraphs of problems that
were going on in her life of this feels like that.
I feel like there's we have COVID shutdown. I'm miserable.
(03:38):
I gotta do there's this job, I'm doing this problem.
I'm full of stressed. I can't stop clinching. I got problem, problem, problem, problem,
problem problem. I'm gonna bring in a dog and I'm
gonna keep the dog at the house that has a
bunch of psychological issues, and let's see how this goes.
And I'm thinking to myself, I know how much you
love dogs, and it's wonderful what you want to do
in your heart. But if I just need back the
(04:00):
text you just sent me about all the issues that
you're going through right now personally, that you feel stressed out,
that you're dying, that you're Oh, you were to read it,
it's like it was like fifteen things that you had
going wrong with you. And I literally wrote you back saying, breathe,
you're exaggerating. I'm not, like, don't be so dramatic. If
(04:21):
I read the text, I think you might have said
I'm gonna die maybe ten times in the text. You're
exaggerating again. Um making me look like again, Yeah, I
was going through stuff, but that doesn't mean that I
don't have it in my heart to take on more stuff. Yeah,
that's what I do. And then and then then what
happens if I can find that means if I can
(04:42):
find the text message this morning, Uh, this is what
I woke up to. Hey, no, don't be reading that.
Hold on, that's a personal I texted this morning. If
I'm in tears outside because I just had a forty
five minute argument with an animal that won't go to
(05:03):
the bathroom and that wants to run away, and now
I'm breaking down mentally and I don't know what else
to do anymore. So this is why I say, you
have some days off because of a COVID situation. You
need to relax and breathe and get yourself stress free
before you keep trying to bring on more stress. But
(05:24):
I don't see it as I'm bringing stress. I'm actually
I see it as I'm doing something that I love.
I was my heart was, I'm gonna do something that
that is amazing and that it makes my heart full.
And it did. Listen, I had the first day, it
was fantastic. She was challenging, but I was like, I
believe in love, and I think every single dog, every
(05:46):
single dog, once they learned and encounter love, everything's cured.
So I was like, it's gonna be amazing. I'm gonna
have an amazing experience, and I'm gonna find this dog
at home because I wanted to have a home, and
she will have a home because I believe she's gonna
be rehabilitated and she's gonna understand that she's not a
straight anymore. You know, it's gonna take some time. I'm
(06:06):
not questioning the amount of love you have in your heart.
I'm not questioned that your heart was in the right place.
What I simply said and what I wrote back to
you is you cannot take on more challenges until you
have put to rest all of the challenges that you're
feeling you're going through at the moment. It's like, I'm
learning through this dog training session with our own dog
that you still don't believe in the psychology of this
(06:28):
dog trainer that I'm trying to Yeah, I'm learning so
much about the energy in your home needs to be
baseline at a level of feeling and control, confidence, stress free, happy, ready,
to rock no worries. You can't then bring in more
issues and not expect your own stress levels to just spike.
(06:49):
It has to be low so you can manage it. Okay,
my this dog has absolutely no idea that I have
any kind of stress after their lines the dog does,
you do know? But I wasn't reflecting that my energy
was in charge like that. My energy was actually, I'm
(07:09):
gonna give you nothing but love. I come for her.
Crying outside where the dogs trying to shake free on
a leash and you're crying outside for forty five minutes
is not bringing stress out of the dog. No, Because
my approach was not like I wasn't aggressive. I wasn't.
I mean today, after like a long time, I was like,
I'm just gonna have to push the heck out of
(07:30):
her because she doesn't let me grab her as I'm
just gonna have to to become the mega alpha and
force her in. And I did. I was. It was
the only time that I lost my bananas and I'm
pulling her like with force. But the rest of the
time I was praying, I'm like going to her level.
I did everything I possible. I talked to every sing
(07:50):
the virgin Buddha. I meditated. I looked at her, I cried.
I mean, I did everything possible, and she was still like,
I you, I want to run. Okay, she senses how
stressed out you are. No, keep doing great things, keep
saving dogs, and I love, I love what you're doing.
(08:10):
Mike my words, she's gonna find at home. I'm gonna
make sure she goes. I know she's gonna be better.
I just I just need, I need more to your
heart's in the right place. I'm not saying it's not,
but get yourself right first. You can't help others until
you help yourself first. Got it now? Read time. Serena
(08:34):
Williams gets real about juggling motherhood and self care and
always feeling guilty and having this like mom guilt um
in a new article. I'm curious, is motherhood guilt something?
I mean, I think it's very real with a lot
of people. I think fatherhood guilt is also very real.
It's not just motherhood guilt. Do you personally is that
(08:55):
part of one of the things that's stressing you out?
Do you have a lot of mom guilt? Of course,
A p like every single day. I'm like, like I
was looking at pictures today because I have my niece
with me and I was showing her some pictures of
the kids and just pictures, right, and I'm going through
my phone. I'm looking at Sabilla and I'm looking at Dylan,
and I was like, what the heck am I doing?
(09:19):
Where are my kids? Like like I'm not, I'm not
kidding you. Last night, like I feel I want to
cry right now, I go to bed and I started
thinking about when they were here, right and I put
my hand out and I imagined myself holding hands with Dylan.
And I went away thinking that I was holding hands
with Dylan, and I was like, oh my god, It's like,
(09:40):
of course, mom, guils is real. You know. I know
I'm doing what I'm what I love, but I'm incredibly
blessed to be doing it in Puerto Rico, my home
with my friends, my family, but my kids are not
with me, and it stugs because I don't want it.
I don't want one day too for them to embvoice me,
you know, emboys me like what were you wanting around
when I did this? And this? And that kills me?
(10:02):
So I understand, I understand what what what where She's
coming from? Serena especially you know with highly successful women.
You know that she's a mega mega starter and know
the most famous athletes, but she has accomplished is it's
never again going to be accomplished, you know what I mean.
So that should make her a whole and make her
feel special and unique and happy. But she has a child,
(10:26):
you know, so at the same time she knows she's
all that, but she goes. You know, when I'm training
and I win tournaments and my kids start school, I'm
not gonna be around as much as I mean, it's insane.
It's insane, and I fully get it. I ask you emotionally,
you're getting for sure, and and I totally understand it.
And and uh, of course the kids miss you and
(10:47):
they love you, and and everything's gonna be fine because
this is not you don't have too much left on
the on the table. Um. But my next question is
do you have wife guilt? What do you read? Well,
you just went on and on and got emotional about
all the motherhood guilt that you have. And I'm curious
(11:08):
if you're gonna get emotional having wife guilt that you're
not there with your husband. You don't see your husband
and you miss him, and you have dreams of reaching
out and and feeling me cuddling with you at night,
and that's how you fell asleep. And do you have
wife guilt that you're not there for me? Well that
question was part was not part of the rundown the
(11:28):
producers doesn't have to be. I don't I don't read it.
Do you have wife guilt? Um? Yeah? Wow? Said two
seconds ago, she was in tears talking about touching fingers
and and being invoiced by her children down the road
in Spanish? Whatever that saying was another new saying, Um,
(11:50):
what if I invoice you down the road? What do
you mean? Whatever? Whatever you ever you said in Spanish?
I mean I don't know that you said I don't
want to be They're gonna be down the road. They're
gonna resent me for not being with me? What about wife? Gil?
You know what's crazy, people is that I told Rose
on the other day that I might be going to
Puerto Rico next week because we uh, thank God knocking.
(12:13):
Would you know more steps going in the right direction
for this project? HSI that we have? Um, I might
be down there to location scout with the other producers,
I said, Ros you know, this works out pretty great.
It's gonna be crazy expensive. You have to go down
there for three days, last minute, but I can at
least go down there. I can, you know, be hands
on still with the production. And and then I get
to see you because I'll be there for three days.
(12:34):
And she goes, oh, why don't you bring the kids?
I said, they were just there for two weeks. And
I get it. I get it. I want to see
the kids. I fully get it. But there was never uh,
oh my god, that's so good. You and I can
finally have like I'm gonna be working a lot, but
when I'm not working, then you and I can have time,
maybe go to dinner together and like week because I
(12:54):
was only there for two days in and out, like
in a blink for her birthday. There was never a
moment of wife built ever. I didn't even cross her
mind that I was going to be there for three
days that she could have quality time with her husband
who she hasn't seen in two months. Am I right
or wrong? No? I did say that because it was
(13:15):
did not say that. I know I said what I said.
I was it was instinctual when you said I go
to Puerto Rico. I was like, oh my god, bring
the kids at that moment, Eric Winter, maybe it's my
fault and it didn't really hurt your bother you so much.
I apologize, you said you don't have to apologize, and
what clearly balid you because you kept going on but
you were pistoff. What about pistoff? Um? So I was like,
(13:38):
oh okay, but I honestly did not. I didn't think
they're gonna take it like that. I didn't mean it
like that. It was just it was just booming, just something,
Oh my god, bring the kids. I wasn't thinking about.
So sorry, No, wife, Gil, that's the bottom line. No, listen,
I tried. I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm gonna
level with you right now. I try not. The only
way that you can make me is what you said before,
(14:01):
invoice me. Yeah. The only way that you can invoice me.
I think it's the way that a guy I would
do it is that one day I find out that
because I'm always gone or I'm working, or you feel neglected,
you decide to be as smart as and I'm cheating
on me or whatever. That's hardcore. That's like dark. I mean,
I can invoice you with like a booklet of like
(14:23):
sex certificates or like I'm like, hey, I'm gonna redeem
all my intimacy certificates down the road or whatever. That
doesn't have to be that that's super weird. That's like,
that's how invoicing you. That's like, uh, going bankrupt on
the marriage. That's totally different. I just don't know what
you mean you. I don't know. I don't know what.
I don't know what you're joking Like I could be
(14:44):
I could be invoicing you like I guess I was
just joking because of what you said about them invoicing you,
But that is that's going dark. My conversation is that
you should. People should also have spousal guilt for not
being around. But I'm not not around because by choice
(15:08):
I don't. I don't feel like I'm neglected. Like one
thing is to like, I live with you, we're together,
but we are neglecting you as a wife. Even though
we're together. I'm neglecting you because I happen to be working.
I don't know the same thing. It's the same thing
with with with with the kids. They know you're working.
I mean, it's harder with kids. Obviously they can't. There's
not there's no way they're going to rationalize Mom, Mom
(15:29):
is going the way you are You're not. I know,
I'm joking. I'm taking that to an extreme. I fully
get the difference between mom guilt and spousal guilt and
wife guilt. But my point of the whole story was that,
you know, when you have a chance to have a
special three day getaway with your with your partner who
you haven't seen in two months, it might be something
(15:50):
to take as a positive. It might be something that
you actually go, oh wow, that's actually, that's great, that's great.
I know that. I know the kids can't come because
they're in school, but you can actually come. You can
come for three days. That's awesome, babe. We can actually
go to dinner together, we can talk, we can catch up.
I barely get to really see you last time you're
there because okay, you know, five people in the household.
(16:12):
I mean, there's ways to doing it, Okay. Um. I
didn't take it as a negative at all. I'm actually
very excited that you're coming. If you're coming, because maybe
you're not coming, I don't know, I might stay tell
somewhere about myself. Guys, let me talk about that, that
joke that he said. I think he went on and
on for like fifteen minutes back and forth texting me
(16:33):
about how he was going to stay at hotel like
he was clearly affected. Then oh my god, Okay, next
topic anyway, Okay, it was the next topic here Trace
(16:54):
Harry can wait to take his kids to Invictus and
reveals live Lee just took her first step. What do
you remember about your kids taking the first steps? Do
you remember I remember Dylan's Dylan's were Dylan's happened? Um?
I think it was on Thanksgiving. It was Thanksgiving, right
around when he turned exactly one. He was in the
(17:16):
living room and we saw him all taking steps. I
think everybody kind of saw that when it happened. And
with Sabella, her first steps happened. I believe in Atlanta.
You missed it, the first steps in Atlanta, having Atlanta,
and I believe we're all there. She started walking earlier
than Dylan, like taking steps, I should say. Actually, her
first steps steps not walking steps for at seby happened
(17:41):
in Los Angeles. We were in her bedroom and she
was like eight months old. She started taking steps. She
watched really really early. She never really crawled. Sabella just
went straight to straight and walking. It was pretty crazy. Um.
And it's funny because they said that, you know, Harry
Megan said that the youngest is always trying to keep
up with the oldest, and we have similar you know,
age differences with with our kids to a degree. But
(18:04):
Dylan is never trying to keep up. Well, he is
trying to keep up with Sabella with like linguistically, I
would say, and like intelligence wise. He's always trying to
make comments and do what she does and be like
her when it comes to that. But as far as
his assertiveness when it comes to activities and sports and um,
just being out there, he wants to do nothing that
Sabella is doing zero. But you know what, it's it's
(18:24):
interesting to me how like you want to play tennis,
I go never. It's almost like he's becoming his own
little individual. He doesn't want to be compared. Um, I
don't know how his baby, so I don't know how
what goes inside that little mind. But yeah, he's very
much about whatever she's doing, I want to do the opposite,
which I think great. You know, we don't it's he's
(18:45):
not a follower that way. He's more of like, I
just want to be my own person. I think it's brilliant.
He definitely is finding that identity where he doesn't wanna
be compared to Sabella. You know, it's this is all
about Sabella, so he really shining away from doing ating
similar in that regard. Um. But speaking about personality difference
is just one last topic that I was actually as
(19:06):
I read through this, I was very happy to here
that we don't have narcissistic kids. I think we have
kids that think Sabella does things that are similar to
a lot of kids. But it says, is my kid
a narcissist, which is a little bit scary. I guess
if you discovered your kid at a young age was
a narcissist. I think all kids tend to have a
little bit of this god complex of of a narcissistic quality.
(19:27):
And um, you know, because as a baby, life is
completely about them seven always, and as they get older
and responsibility you start telling them no, no, you can't
do that, you can't do that. They the god complex
gets stepped on a little bit. Right before it was
basically whatever they wanted, and now there's boundaries being set. Um,
(19:48):
so you see kids start to get this sense of entitlement. UM.
But I don't know, a narcissistic kid would be pretty scary.
I don't know if I want to have that happen
in in my life. Um. Sp is a strong personality,
very strong. Yeah, but I'm not She's not a narcissist,
no way. Do you know any narcissistic narcissistic kids? Did
(20:11):
you grow up with any? I don't know. I wouldn't
even know, don't I don't even know how to describe them.
I don't even know how to recognize one. You know,
I don't know. I think to call a kid a
narcissis it's pretty that's pretty deep, and it feels like
there's gonna be some heavy trauma going on. Um. But
if you, if you do have a kid that seems
(20:32):
to have those tendencies, they have some some good advice
to promote the child's growing identity and self image as
a separate from the parents, which I think is important.
That's something that we well, look, we're trying to do
more of. You had an issue with that with Sabella,
where you always wanted Sabella to be like your little
mini you, and when she tried to create her own
identity with everything, it drives you crazy because she like
(20:53):
does everything the opposite of you. Dress, style, room, hair,
I mean, your name, whatever you say. It's kind of
like I'm gonna be opposite. It's really crazy to me,
Like I don't I will never understand that part of her.
But listen, it is, it is what it is. It is.
I'm getting better. You just don't hurt me severely now,
(21:14):
I just go. You know what Saiv is. She's cool,
she's she's her own little thing. You know, it is,
it is what it is. Um, I think you'll change.
I think I think a little bit a little. I
see her now it's like she wants she doesn't care
what I think. But then she looked to see if
I'm looking. You know what I mean, Like she doesn't
care what I say, but she's making sure that did
she says something. You know, it's it's it's really interesting.
(21:35):
So I think it's all. It's all more like trying.
It's this power, this power trip you know about like um,
on my own on my own thing, which is listen again,
I I appreciate it. I I taught this girl to
be very strong and fears and independent, and I can't
go complain. That's what I that's what I raised. You know, Yeah, no,
(21:56):
for sure, for sure, it's a big it's a big,
a bigger conversation. But I think at the end of
the day, you know, supporting the kids individual identity and
growth like we're talking about with Dylan and Sabella and
trying to root for that, and I think a couple
of the tips they gave it are really important just
in a good overall, you know, with the child development
is allowing the child to make that you know, the
(22:16):
mistakes and the failures instead of always trying to save
them from every mishappen And that's something that I think
with our first child was really was Sabella was really
tough for us to wrap our heads around, always not
wanting to be there to step in to protect and
and we still do to a degree. We still helicopter
parent for sure, but I think we're getting much better.
Like she's been on this three day trip to the
(22:38):
Big Bear with her class sleepover. We have no communication
with her at all. We're just getting pictures sent from
the school. We know nothing and I'm on you know,
a chain with different parents where they're commenting and you
can hear everybody's kind of got their own anxiety about
it and stress about it. And I've actually been pretty
good considering like I thought I was gonna be way worse.
I got that. I'm good because I'm looking at the
(23:01):
pictures of myself, you know, like I said, I see
the pictures of all the kids together, and you know,
the school has been really good about updating the parents
and we know exactly what's happening at all times. Um,
I'm fine, Eric because she I know, she's so happy,
Like like Sibella is the type of kids that will
thrives in a situation like this. She's by herself, she
feels independent, she feels like an adult. Um, I know
(23:24):
that she is so happy that that makes me happy.
I just go, you know what, chill, don't worry because
she she's having a blast. She's having a blast and
she and she's so grateful that we allowed her to
even go, because we could have said, no, you're not going,
you're not comfortable. We don't know these teachers over there,
we don't know the supervisors. She may have run away
(23:45):
if we said that. But yeah, you know, so it is,
what is? What it is? Did I tell you Eric,
like real quick before? We don't know if ever to you? Do?
You know? When I went to this lady to do
the reiki, the energy massage type of thing, and she's like,
besides doing that kind of work, I've been a healer,
you know, and she's all kinds of things. Anyway, she
started getting like, well, like like food from me, and
(24:07):
I'm like looking and I looked because I'm like, I wasn't.
I was not at the table yet, I was standing.
And she said to me, you gonna have another kid?
Hell we are? I was like, unless you're having an affair,
we didn't have another kid, you I know. But I
was like, no, no, no, I'm not as I have
to two already and I can't have any of my
(24:28):
kids I have. I don't have a uterus, you know,
that's right, um. And she's like that's so interested. No,
there's another girl. There's another girl in the picture. I
don't know, you know, Sabella was a twin. I don't
know what she was referring to. But she was like, no, no, no, no,
there's another girl in your life. Not crazy. And I
(24:49):
was like, we're gonna end up adopting. No, we are
not on that note. It's been great, the conversation has
been fun. I'm very happy with my two kids. I
can't do a third. I am good. Let's say that's
what you can't do. You can No, I'm good. I
love my two kids. Um, I'm trying to just you know,
I barely have partner a wife at this moment. Partner
(25:12):
time as it is wife. There's no wife guilt. So
I mean, if I had another kid would be insane.
You know you might as well. You wouldn't see me,
he said. I think, listeners, how much does this this
dude complains about his wife? Oh my god, dude, not
a complain. I simply told the story about wife guilt.
(25:33):
Always like a dig, always like a little comment. My
mom keeps telling me. I'm always like, be aware and
be aware of IMA have to be aware of what
I don't know. You tell me I told the story
already about the wife guilt. What are you talking about?
I say, crystal clear. I may be important to go
next week. You can look me up if you. If
(25:55):
you want to get in contact and have dinner or something,
you let me know. I'll be at a hotel somewhere
in and one location scouting. That's what I'm talking about, guys.
That's a perfect, perfect example, always trying to be sarcastic, passive,
aggressive with this little comments. That's what I'm talking about. Okay,
I love you, Love you bye. Thanks for listening. Don't
(26:15):
forget to write us a review and tell us what
you think. If you want to follow us on Instagram,
check goes out at he said. Orson does an email,
Eric and Ross at i heeart radio dot com, he said,
is part of iHeart Radio's Michael Uda podcast network. See
you next time.
This is, he said, a Vihu with Eric Winter and
rogaland Fantas. Oh my god, Ry goin through so much
stuff going on. I want to I want to start
by sharing something. I decided that I wanted to foster
um a dog, because you know, I'm here by myself,
(00:23):
and I said, it's gonna be good for me if
I just have something that i'm taking care of, that
I'm taking care of. And this organization called Love Animal
Rescue Rescue. This dog, though, I called her Fantasy because
she used to visit the set of Fantasy Island all
the time. She lived at the beach at Coco Beach.
When they capture her, they named her Coco because the
(00:44):
area that she grew up in it's called Cocoa Beach,
where we should part of Fantasy Island. So she was
part of like the cruel feeder, like you will accept food,
but she would not allow you to touch her. Anyways.
Make the story short, she got saved, she got fixed
because she wasn't heat. She got Now she's living at
the shelter. I went to visit her, and I was like,
(01:04):
you know, about a couple of days later, I couldn't
stop thinking about her, and I was like, I'm just
gonna go and get her so she can live here
with me for a little bit until I can find
forever home. I've never I've never experienced helping a dog
or owning a dog that comes from the streets, no
previous owner at all, like a true stray from the streets.
(01:26):
So she came in with a lot of psychological issues,
like she doesn't know what's a leash. She's used to
eating I'm assuming iguanas or whatever she can find. She
doesn't know love, she doesn't know anything. It was so hard,
it was too difficult. I had to take her back
(01:48):
to the shelter. We had almost two days. She was
gonna give me a heart attack, like every time I
took her out on a walk with the leash, because
she didn't know what that was. And I live my
villa is very close by two where she grew up,
so it's almost like the beach here smells like her beach.
And it's like, I'm assuming she probably work this grounds
(02:10):
and this golf course and all this eric She wanted out,
She wanted to run away so badly, even though I
was fitting her. She slept in the bedroom with me,
with her condition. I was like, girl, you live in
a freaking life. You're living a life, and I'm assuming
it's instinct. I thought she was gonna run away. I would.
(02:32):
This morning, I was on a fight thord in the morning,
I took her out, like at six thirty on seven
because I'm going she needs to go party, because she's
gonna be all over all over the place. It took
I was like for forty five minutes negotiating with this being,
trying to get her back in. I thought I was
gonna die. I' mean tears going like I'm asking God,
(02:53):
can how can you help me? She doesn't let me
carry her, she's too I feel like a loser, my loser.
Here's the thing. Let me start by saying something positive.
I always have tons of respect and appreciation and admiration
for how much you continue to want to always do
with helping dogs, and you know we both are always
all about it and raising money and and uh, the
(03:16):
amount of time that you give to your causes are
It's incredible. The only thing I'm confused about is if
everybody would have seen the text messages I received maybe
before that and Nick, literally before I'm going to bed,
I got I don't know, five paragraphs of problems that
were going on in her life of this feels like that.
I feel like there's we have COVID shutdown. I'm miserable.
(03:38):
I gotta do there's this job, I'm doing this problem.
I'm full of stressed. I can't stop clinching. I got problem, problem, problem, problem,
problem problem. I'm gonna bring in a dog and I'm
gonna keep the dog at the house that has a
bunch of psychological issues, and let's see how this goes.
And I'm thinking to myself, I know how much you
love dogs, and it's wonderful what you want to do
in your heart. But if I just need back the
(04:00):
text you just sent me about all the issues that
you're going through right now personally, that you feel stressed out,
that you're dying, that you're Oh, you were to read it,
it's like it was like fifteen things that you had
going wrong with you. And I literally wrote you back saying, breathe,
you're exaggerating. I'm not, like, don't be so dramatic. If
(04:21):
I read the text, I think you might have said
I'm gonna die maybe ten times in the text. You're
exaggerating again. Um making me look like again, Yeah, I
was going through stuff, but that doesn't mean that I
don't have it in my heart to take on more stuff. Yeah,
that's what I do. And then and then then what
happens if I can find that means if I can
(04:42):
find the text message this morning, Uh, this is what
I woke up to. Hey, no, don't be reading that.
Hold on, that's a personal I texted this morning. If
I'm in tears outside because I just had a forty
five minute argument with an animal that won't go to
(05:03):
the bathroom and that wants to run away, and now
I'm breaking down mentally and I don't know what else
to do anymore. So this is why I say, you
have some days off because of a COVID situation. You
need to relax and breathe and get yourself stress free
before you keep trying to bring on more stress. But
(05:24):
I don't see it as I'm bringing stress. I'm actually
I see it as I'm doing something that I love.
I was my heart was, I'm gonna do something that
that is amazing and that it makes my heart full.
And it did. Listen, I had the first day, it
was fantastic. She was challenging, but I was like, I
believe in love, and I think every single dog, every
(05:46):
single dog, once they learned and encounter love, everything's cured.
So I was like, it's gonna be amazing. I'm gonna
have an amazing experience, and I'm gonna find this dog
at home because I wanted to have a home, and
she will have a home because I believe she's gonna
be rehabilitated and she's gonna understand that she's not a
straight anymore. You know, it's gonna take some time. I'm
(06:06):
not questioning the amount of love you have in your heart.
I'm not questioned that your heart was in the right place.
What I simply said and what I wrote back to
you is you cannot take on more challenges until you
have put to rest all of the challenges that you're
feeling you're going through at the moment. It's like, I'm
learning through this dog training session with our own dog
that you still don't believe in the psychology of this
(06:28):
dog trainer that I'm trying to Yeah, I'm learning so
much about the energy in your home needs to be
baseline at a level of feeling and control, confidence, stress free, happy, ready,
to rock no worries. You can't then bring in more
issues and not expect your own stress levels to just spike.
(06:49):
It has to be low so you can manage it. Okay,
my this dog has absolutely no idea that I have
any kind of stress after their lines the dog does,
you do know? But I wasn't reflecting that my energy
was in charge like that. My energy was actually, I'm
(07:09):
gonna give you nothing but love. I come for her.
Crying outside where the dogs trying to shake free on
a leash and you're crying outside for forty five minutes
is not bringing stress out of the dog. No, Because
my approach was not like I wasn't aggressive. I wasn't.
I mean today, after like a long time, I was like,
I'm just gonna have to push the heck out of
(07:30):
her because she doesn't let me grab her as I'm
just gonna have to to become the mega alpha and
force her in. And I did. I was. It was
the only time that I lost my bananas and I'm
pulling her like with force. But the rest of the
time I was praying, I'm like going to her level.
I did everything I possible. I talked to every sing
(07:50):
the virgin Buddha. I meditated. I looked at her, I cried.
I mean, I did everything possible, and she was still like,
I you, I want to run. Okay, she senses how
stressed out you are. No, keep doing great things, keep
saving dogs, and I love, I love what you're doing.
(08:10):
Mike my words, she's gonna find at home. I'm gonna
make sure she goes. I know she's gonna be better.
I just I just need, I need more to your
heart's in the right place. I'm not saying it's not,
but get yourself right first. You can't help others until
you help yourself first. Got it now? Read time. Serena
(08:34):
Williams gets real about juggling motherhood and self care and
always feeling guilty and having this like mom guilt um
in a new article. I'm curious, is motherhood guilt something?
I mean, I think it's very real with a lot
of people. I think fatherhood guilt is also very real.
It's not just motherhood guilt. Do you personally is that
(08:55):
part of one of the things that's stressing you out?
Do you have a lot of mom guilt? Of course,
A p like every single day. I'm like, like I
was looking at pictures today because I have my niece
with me and I was showing her some pictures of
the kids and just pictures, right, and I'm going through
my phone. I'm looking at Sabilla and I'm looking at Dylan,
and I was like, what the heck am I doing?
(09:19):
Where are my kids? Like like I'm not, I'm not
kidding you. Last night, like I feel I want to
cry right now, I go to bed and I started
thinking about when they were here, right and I put
my hand out and I imagined myself holding hands with Dylan.
And I went away thinking that I was holding hands
with Dylan, and I was like, oh my god, It's like,
(09:40):
of course, mom, guils is real. You know. I know
I'm doing what I'm what I love, but I'm incredibly
blessed to be doing it in Puerto Rico, my home
with my friends, my family, but my kids are not
with me, and it stugs because I don't want it.
I don't want one day too for them to embvoice me,
you know, emboys me like what were you wanting around
when I did this? And this? And that kills me?
(10:02):
So I understand, I understand what what what where She's
coming from? Serena especially you know with highly successful women.
You know that she's a mega mega starter and know
the most famous athletes, but she has accomplished is it's
never again going to be accomplished, you know what I mean.
So that should make her a whole and make her
feel special and unique and happy. But she has a child,
(10:26):
you know, so at the same time she knows she's
all that, but she goes. You know, when I'm training
and I win tournaments and my kids start school, I'm
not gonna be around as much as I mean, it's insane.
It's insane, and I fully get it. I ask you emotionally,
you're getting for sure, and and I totally understand it.
And and uh, of course the kids miss you and
(10:47):
they love you, and and everything's gonna be fine because
this is not you don't have too much left on
the on the table. Um. But my next question is
do you have wife guilt? What do you read? Well,
you just went on and on and got emotional about
all the motherhood guilt that you have. And I'm curious
(11:08):
if you're gonna get emotional having wife guilt that you're
not there with your husband. You don't see your husband
and you miss him, and you have dreams of reaching
out and and feeling me cuddling with you at night,
and that's how you fell asleep. And do you have
wife guilt that you're not there for me? Well that
question was part was not part of the rundown the
(11:28):
producers doesn't have to be. I don't I don't read it.
Do you have wife guilt? Um? Yeah? Wow? Said two
seconds ago, she was in tears talking about touching fingers
and and being invoiced by her children down the road
in Spanish? Whatever that saying was another new saying, Um,
(11:50):
what if I invoice you down the road? What do
you mean? Whatever? Whatever you ever you said in Spanish?
I mean I don't know that you said I don't
want to be They're gonna be down the road. They're
gonna resent me for not being with me? What about wife? Gil?
You know what's crazy, people is that I told Rose
on the other day that I might be going to
Puerto Rico next week because we uh, thank God knocking.
(12:13):
Would you know more steps going in the right direction
for this project? HSI that we have? Um, I might
be down there to location scout with the other producers,
I said, Ros you know, this works out pretty great.
It's gonna be crazy expensive. You have to go down
there for three days, last minute, but I can at
least go down there. I can, you know, be hands
on still with the production. And and then I get
to see you because I'll be there for three days.
(12:34):
And she goes, oh, why don't you bring the kids?
I said, they were just there for two weeks. And
I get it. I get it. I want to see
the kids. I fully get it. But there was never uh,
oh my god, that's so good. You and I can
finally have like I'm gonna be working a lot, but
when I'm not working, then you and I can have time,
maybe go to dinner together and like week because I
(12:54):
was only there for two days in and out, like
in a blink for her birthday. There was never a
moment of wife built ever. I didn't even cross her
mind that I was going to be there for three
days that she could have quality time with her husband
who she hasn't seen in two months. Am I right
or wrong? No? I did say that because it was
(13:15):
did not say that. I know I said what I said.
I was it was instinctual when you said I go
to Puerto Rico. I was like, oh my god, bring
the kids at that moment, Eric Winter, maybe it's my
fault and it didn't really hurt your bother you so much.
I apologize, you said you don't have to apologize, and
what clearly balid you because you kept going on but
you were pistoff. What about pistoff? Um? So I was like,
(13:38):
oh okay, but I honestly did not. I didn't think
they're gonna take it like that. I didn't mean it
like that. It was just it was just booming, just something,
Oh my god, bring the kids. I wasn't thinking about.
So sorry, No, wife, Gil, that's the bottom line. No, listen,
I tried. I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm gonna
level with you right now. I try not. The only
way that you can make me is what you said before,
(14:01):
invoice me. Yeah. The only way that you can invoice me.
I think it's the way that a guy I would
do it is that one day I find out that
because I'm always gone or I'm working, or you feel neglected,
you decide to be as smart as and I'm cheating
on me or whatever. That's hardcore. That's like dark. I mean,
I can invoice you with like a booklet of like
(14:23):
sex certificates or like I'm like, hey, I'm gonna redeem
all my intimacy certificates down the road or whatever. That
doesn't have to be that that's super weird. That's like,
that's how invoicing you. That's like, uh, going bankrupt on
the marriage. That's totally different. I just don't know what
you mean you. I don't know. I don't know what.
I don't know what you're joking Like I could be
(14:44):
I could be invoicing you like I guess I was
just joking because of what you said about them invoicing you,
But that is that's going dark. My conversation is that
you should. People should also have spousal guilt for not
being around. But I'm not not around because by choice
(15:08):
I don't. I don't feel like I'm neglected. Like one
thing is to like, I live with you, we're together,
but we are neglecting you as a wife. Even though
we're together. I'm neglecting you because I happen to be working.
I don't know the same thing. It's the same thing
with with with with the kids. They know you're working.
I mean, it's harder with kids. Obviously they can't. There's
not there's no way they're going to rationalize Mom, Mom
(15:29):
is going the way you are You're not. I know,
I'm joking. I'm taking that to an extreme. I fully
get the difference between mom guilt and spousal guilt and
wife guilt. But my point of the whole story was that,
you know, when you have a chance to have a
special three day getaway with your with your partner who
you haven't seen in two months, it might be something
(15:50):
to take as a positive. It might be something that
you actually go, oh wow, that's actually, that's great, that's great.
I know that. I know the kids can't come because
they're in school, but you can actually come. You can
come for three days. That's awesome, babe. We can actually
go to dinner together, we can talk, we can catch up.
I barely get to really see you last time you're
there because okay, you know, five people in the household.
(16:12):
I mean, there's ways to doing it, Okay. Um. I
didn't take it as a negative at all. I'm actually
very excited that you're coming. If you're coming, because maybe
you're not coming, I don't know, I might stay tell
somewhere about myself. Guys, let me talk about that, that
joke that he said. I think he went on and
on for like fifteen minutes back and forth texting me
(16:33):
about how he was going to stay at hotel like
he was clearly affected. Then oh my god, Okay, next
topic anyway, Okay, it was the next topic here Trace
(16:54):
Harry can wait to take his kids to Invictus and
reveals live Lee just took her first step. What do
you remember about your kids taking the first steps? Do
you remember I remember Dylan's Dylan's were Dylan's happened? Um?
I think it was on Thanksgiving. It was Thanksgiving, right
around when he turned exactly one. He was in the
(17:16):
living room and we saw him all taking steps. I
think everybody kind of saw that when it happened. And
with Sabella, her first steps happened. I believe in Atlanta.
You missed it, the first steps in Atlanta, having Atlanta,
and I believe we're all there. She started walking earlier
than Dylan, like taking steps, I should say. Actually, her
first steps steps not walking steps for at seby happened
(17:41):
in Los Angeles. We were in her bedroom and she
was like eight months old. She started taking steps. She
watched really really early. She never really crawled. Sabella just
went straight to straight and walking. It was pretty crazy. Um.
And it's funny because they said that, you know, Harry
Megan said that the youngest is always trying to keep
up with the oldest, and we have similar you know,
age differences with with our kids to a degree. But
(18:04):
Dylan is never trying to keep up. Well, he is
trying to keep up with Sabella with like linguistically, I
would say, and like intelligence wise. He's always trying to
make comments and do what she does and be like
her when it comes to that. But as far as
his assertiveness when it comes to activities and sports and um,
just being out there, he wants to do nothing that
Sabella is doing zero. But you know what, it's it's
(18:24):
interesting to me how like you want to play tennis,
I go never. It's almost like he's becoming his own
little individual. He doesn't want to be compared. Um, I
don't know how his baby, so I don't know how
what goes inside that little mind. But yeah, he's very
much about whatever she's doing, I want to do the opposite,
which I think great. You know, we don't it's he's
(18:45):
not a follower that way. He's more of like, I
just want to be my own person. I think it's brilliant.
He definitely is finding that identity where he doesn't wanna
be compared to Sabella. You know, it's this is all
about Sabella, so he really shining away from doing ating
similar in that regard. Um. But speaking about personality difference
is just one last topic that I was actually as
(19:06):
I read through this, I was very happy to here
that we don't have narcissistic kids. I think we have
kids that think Sabella does things that are similar to
a lot of kids. But it says, is my kid
a narcissist, which is a little bit scary. I guess
if you discovered your kid at a young age was
a narcissist. I think all kids tend to have a
little bit of this god complex of of a narcissistic quality.
(19:27):
And um, you know, because as a baby, life is
completely about them seven always, and as they get older
and responsibility you start telling them no, no, you can't
do that, you can't do that. They the god complex
gets stepped on a little bit. Right before it was
basically whatever they wanted, and now there's boundaries being set. Um,
(19:48):
so you see kids start to get this sense of entitlement. UM.
But I don't know, a narcissistic kid would be pretty scary.
I don't know if I want to have that happen
in in my life. Um. Sp is a strong personality,
very strong. Yeah, but I'm not She's not a narcissist,
no way. Do you know any narcissistic narcissistic kids? Did
(20:11):
you grow up with any? I don't know. I wouldn't
even know, don't I don't even know how to describe them.
I don't even know how to recognize one. You know,
I don't know. I think to call a kid a
narcissis it's pretty that's pretty deep, and it feels like
there's gonna be some heavy trauma going on. Um. But
if you, if you do have a kid that seems
(20:32):
to have those tendencies, they have some some good advice
to promote the child's growing identity and self image as
a separate from the parents, which I think is important.
That's something that we well, look, we're trying to do
more of. You had an issue with that with Sabella,
where you always wanted Sabella to be like your little
mini you, and when she tried to create her own
identity with everything, it drives you crazy because she like
(20:53):
does everything the opposite of you. Dress, style, room, hair,
I mean, your name, whatever you say. It's kind of
like I'm gonna be opposite. It's really crazy to me,
Like I don't I will never understand that part of her.
But listen, it is, it is what it is. It is.
I'm getting better. You just don't hurt me severely now,
(21:14):
I just go. You know what Saiv is. She's cool,
she's she's her own little thing. You know, it is,
it is what it is. Um, I think you'll change.
I think I think a little bit a little. I
see her now it's like she wants she doesn't care
what I think. But then she looked to see if
I'm looking. You know what I mean, Like she doesn't
care what I say, but she's making sure that did
she says something. You know, it's it's it's really interesting.
(21:35):
So I think it's all. It's all more like trying.
It's this power, this power trip you know about like um,
on my own on my own thing, which is listen again,
I I appreciate it. I I taught this girl to
be very strong and fears and independent, and I can't
go complain. That's what I that's what I raised. You know, Yeah, no,
(21:56):
for sure, for sure, it's a big it's a big,
a bigger conversation. But I think at the end of
the day, you know, supporting the kids individual identity and
growth like we're talking about with Dylan and Sabella and
trying to root for that, and I think a couple
of the tips they gave it are really important just
in a good overall, you know, with the child development
is allowing the child to make that you know, the
(22:16):
mistakes and the failures instead of always trying to save
them from every mishappen And that's something that I think
with our first child was really was Sabella was really
tough for us to wrap our heads around, always not
wanting to be there to step in to protect and
and we still do to a degree. We still helicopter
parent for sure, but I think we're getting much better.
Like she's been on this three day trip to the
(22:38):
Big Bear with her class sleepover. We have no communication
with her at all. We're just getting pictures sent from
the school. We know nothing and I'm on you know,
a chain with different parents where they're commenting and you
can hear everybody's kind of got their own anxiety about
it and stress about it. And I've actually been pretty
good considering like I thought I was gonna be way worse.
I got that. I'm good because I'm looking at the
(23:01):
pictures of myself, you know, like I said, I see
the pictures of all the kids together, and you know,
the school has been really good about updating the parents
and we know exactly what's happening at all times. Um,
I'm fine, Eric because she I know, she's so happy,
Like like Sibella is the type of kids that will
thrives in a situation like this. She's by herself, she
feels independent, she feels like an adult. Um, I know
(23:24):
that she is so happy that that makes me happy.
I just go, you know what, chill, don't worry because
she she's having a blast. She's having a blast and
she and she's so grateful that we allowed her to
even go, because we could have said, no, you're not going,
you're not comfortable. We don't know these teachers over there,
we don't know the supervisors. She may have run away
(23:45):
if we said that. But yeah, you know, so it is,
what is? What it is? Did I tell you Eric,
like real quick before? We don't know if ever to you? Do?
You know? When I went to this lady to do
the reiki, the energy massage type of thing, and she's like,
besides doing that kind of work, I've been a healer,
you know, and she's all kinds of things. Anyway, she
started getting like, well, like like food from me, and
(24:07):
I'm like looking and I looked because I'm like, I wasn't.
I was not at the table yet, I was standing.
And she said to me, you gonna have another kid?
Hell we are? I was like, unless you're having an affair,
we didn't have another kid, you I know. But I
was like, no, no, no, I'm not as I have
to two already and I can't have any of my
(24:28):
kids I have. I don't have a uterus, you know,
that's right, um. And she's like that's so interested. No,
there's another girl. There's another girl in the picture. I
don't know, you know, Sabella was a twin. I don't
know what she was referring to. But she was like, no, no, no, no,
there's another girl in your life. Not crazy. And I
(24:49):
was like, we're gonna end up adopting. No, we are
not on that note. It's been great, the conversation has
been fun. I'm very happy with my two kids. I
can't do a third. I am good. Let's say that's
what you can't do. You can No, I'm good. I
love my two kids. Um, I'm trying to just you know,
I barely have partner a wife at this moment. Partner
(25:12):
time as it is wife. There's no wife guilt. So
I mean, if I had another kid would be insane.
You know you might as well. You wouldn't see me,
he said. I think, listeners, how much does this this
dude complains about his wife? Oh my god, dude, not
a complain. I simply told the story about wife guilt.
(25:33):
Always like a dig, always like a little comment. My
mom keeps telling me. I'm always like, be aware and
be aware of IMA have to be aware of what
I don't know. You tell me I told the story
already about the wife guilt. What are you talking about?
I say, crystal clear. I may be important to go
next week. You can look me up if you. If
(25:55):
you want to get in contact and have dinner or something,
you let me know. I'll be at a hotel somewhere
in and one location scouting. That's what I'm talking about, guys.
That's a perfect, perfect example, always trying to be sarcastic, passive,
aggressive with this little comments. That's what I'm talking about. Okay,
I love you, Love you bye. Thanks for listening. Don't
(26:15):
forget to write us a review and tell us what
you think. If you want to follow us on Instagram,
check goes out at he said. Orson does an email,
Eric and Ross at i heeart radio dot com, he said,
is part of iHeart Radio's Michael Uda podcast network. See
you next time.
Host
Roselyn Sanchez
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Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Betrayal: Season 4
Karoline Borega married a man of honor – a respected Colorado Springs Police officer. She knew there would be sacrifices to accommodate her husband’s career. But she had no idea that he was using his badge to fool everyone. This season, we expose a man who swore two sacred oaths—one to his badge, one to his bride—and broke them both. We follow Karoline as she questions everything she thought she knew about her partner of over 20 years. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-3 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.