September 16, 2025 • 55 mins
Wellness is where we started and wellness is where we will end as Joseph sits down with Yolo Akili Robinson of BEAM to talk about mental health in the Age of Trump for Black Queer and Trans Men for the Season 1 finale. Follow Yolo on IG @yoloakili. Follow BEAM on IG @_beamorg and visit their website at beam.community. Find Joseph on IG/X/Threads @josephtheythem and on Buesky @josephtheythem.bsky.social. Email your praise reports and prayer requests to josephreaves@iheartmedia.com so we can shout you out on the show! HELLA BLACK, HELLA QUEER, HELLA CHRISTIAN is an iHeart podcast apart of the Outspoken! Network which seeks to amplify LGBTQ voice in podcasting. Please Like, Comment, Share, Rate and Subscribe!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello Black, Hello Queer, Hello Christian is a production of
iHeart podcast on the Outspoken Network, which seeks to amplify
LGBTQ voices in podcasting. Show me how good is going
to get today? God, dear Universe, you have permission to
(00:21):
amaze me today. I am a beautiful and blessed being
who deserves great things always.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I love my life and I am thankful for my life.
I am safe and I have everything I need. Something
amazing is happening for me today. Show me how good
is going to get today. God, Dear Universe, you have
permission to amaze me today. I am a beautiful and
(00:50):
blessed being who deserves great things always. I love my
life and I am thankful for my life. I am
safe and I have everything I need. Something amazing is
happening for me today. Show me how good is going
to get today. God, Dear Universe, you have permission to
(01:12):
amaze me today. I am a beautiful and blessed being
who deserves great things always. I love my life and
I am thankful for my life. I am safe and
I have everything I need. Something amazing is happening for
me today. Show me how good is going to get today, God,
(01:35):
Dear Universe, you have permission to amaze me.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Today.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I am a beautiful and blessed being who deserves great
things always. I love my life and I am thankful
for my life. I am safe, and I have everything
I need. Something amazing is happening for me today. Well friends, Hello,
(02:15):
and welcome to another episode of Hella Black, Hella Queer,
Hello Christian, a fully black, fully queer, fully human, fully
divine podcast around society and culture, aka the little podcast
that can do all things through Christ. It has been
a wonderful journey and we have come to the final
(02:37):
episode of season one for Hella Black Queer, Hello Christian,
and I just love how Holy Spirit, how the Divine
just worked it to where this inaugural season of the
podcast would have bookends, because if you've been with us
since episode one, we started with my brothers Alfonso, Trey
(02:59):
Campbell and o Loray and we had the conversation around
black men and substance abuse, misused substance use. And we
have had such a wonderful journey over these episodes and
now we are landing this plane for season one and
we are coming back to wellness with an episode named
(03:23):
in honor of one Frankie Beverly because as of today's recording,
September the eleventh, it marks the one year anniversary since
Frankie transitioned from elder to ancestor. I also feel that
it was important to have this conversation around wellness because
(03:44):
for many of us who have who come to this podcast,
For me, as a black, queer Christian who created this podcast,
we are a part of communities where our wellness is
under attack, especially for those of us who live in
these yet to be United States of America. And then
for me, September is a month where I have to
(04:09):
carry myself very tenderly, and I have to carry myself
with a lot of care because as of today's the eleventh,
when we're recording, yesterday was the twentieth anniversary of my
father's passing. So shout out to my father, the late
Maxie Reeves. I am if you listen to but five
(04:33):
minutes of one episode of this podcast, if there's one
thing you don't know about me outside of the fact
that I'm black, queer and Christian, I am a New
Yorker and I am a New Yorker who was of
age on Tuesday, September the eleventh, two thousand and one.
I was in my sophomore year of high school. It
(04:56):
was around second period where we started to hear news
that the planes had hit the towers, and then of
course the planes hit the Pentagon, and then you know,
I'm born in eighty five, so not only did I
witness the not eleven attacks, but I also witnessed the
nineteen ninety three attacks on the World Trade Center, so
(05:19):
that happened on the eleventh. And then, of course, as
I just said, the eleventh now marks that the day
that Frankie Beverly passed for me as a music lover.
And then this coming Tuesday, when you all should be
hearing the podcast, September sixteenth is the fourth anniversary of
my mother's passing. And then for me, the month closes
(05:41):
out on the twenty third, where I will remember my
Grandma Washington, who I've discussed many times on this episode,
because the twenty third will be her one hundred and
fourth birthday, so there's a lot to remember. There's a
lot to hold for me in this month. So I
(06:05):
just really feel like the divine worked it so that
we would close out this season of the podcast with
this conversation, and I would love for my very special
guests to come in, introduce themselves, share their pronouns, and
as an icebreaker, share your favorite Frankie Beverly song.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Oh my God, First, Joseph, my name is Yola Achille Robinson,
and I just want to start by saying thank you
for inviting me into this sacred space, this conversation and
also just holding you with so much tenderness and love
as you are navigating this month as well. My pronouns
(06:48):
are he and they, and my favorite Frankly mat Beverly
song is before I Let Go Without a question. You know,
I was one of the people who, as much as
I adore and love Beyonce, I definitely when she dropped
the remix, I was like, oh, okay, I know if
my spirit is ready for that. I don't know if
I was ready for that. And then but I learned
(07:09):
to come to learn to appreciate her reimagining of the
song just as much as I love the original.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So yeah, So my favorite Frankie Beverly song I ain't
gonna go with Golden Time of Day, and it is
a song that I've actually used during my evening devotional
time on several occasions. So so let's jump in with
this first question because you know, for those that don't know,
(07:36):
Yolo is someone who has really answered the call on
their life to be an advocate for wellness, particularly when
it comes to black folks, and really does it in
a very in a way that is wonderfully intersectional. And
it is from that space that I did want to
have the first question B for you. How are you doing?
(08:02):
And then what are the mental health trends you are
seeing or what are the wellness trends the wellness needs
you are seeing among black, gay, bisexual, and trans men,
particularly since Trump has taken off.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, great question. So I'll start with myself. I think
today I'm feeling a lot of different things. There's a
part of me today that, after a period of not
feeling anchored and rooted, I am feeling anchored and rooted,
which I'm grateful for. Even amidst that groundedness and anchorness,
I'm still managing. Of course, the anxiety of the moment.
(08:39):
There is that is definitely in my body, and there's
also a lot of gratitude in my body and a
lot of curiosity, but definitely holding a lot of anxiety,
and I would say a lot of grief as well
is what I'm holding as well. So the range of
those things is what's kind of with my life right
now and in my body and in my spirit that
I'm managing and actively engaging in practices to help me
(09:02):
hold better. That's kind of where I'm at. It's been
a difficult time in the world, and I think for
any of us who hold healing an emotional wellness space,
we feel it doubly because we are holding space for folks,
you know. So I would say that is something that's
where I'm at now. The question about kind of things
I'm seeing with black wear and transmen and gay men,
(09:26):
you know, I'm seeing a lot of different things without question,
of course, but I want to start with black trans
men and really naming that the increased transphobia in the
world and the environment has definitely contributed to increased anxiety
and fear right And it's not like we've lived in
a country prior to the Trump era where people felt safe.
(09:49):
That's not the case, right, It's just like escalated even
to even higher proportions where so much transphobic violence is
being condoned by you know, often right wing our politicians
and you know, really hate centered leaders, I call them.
And so I'm seeing a lot of distress, a lot
of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot of people
being activated. And through that, I think for all black,
(10:13):
queer man and gayment, I'm seeing we're all turning to
the coping strategies that we have. And let me contextualize that, right,
I'm a big believer that we all develop different kinds
of coping strategies to manage our stress and our anxiety.
And sometimes it's not that it's not that a coping
strategy is quote unquote bad, so much as we may
(10:36):
over use one, or we may have a relationship to
one that may be harmful for us if we overextend
it or if we rely on it solely. And so
I think some of the things that I'm seeing, of course,
I'm seeing a lot of us really leaning into a
relationship to sex that isn't really about honoring our bodies
and honoring our pleasure, but more about managing our anxiety.
(10:58):
And that post of people feeling a lot of guilt
after that intimacy, right, I'm noticing that kind of increase.
Of course, we're talking about substance use. One of the
things I think is so important to do talk when
we talk about substance use, for many of us, we're
using something to help us numb navigate heels, not even
helps our numb navigate our manage some pain or some discomfort, right,
(11:21):
And I think when we think about it from that perspective,
it's a lot more loving and a lot more thoughtful
because we're essentially what we're trying to do is manage
a place where we're hurting, or we're wounded, or we're struggling.
And so I think that during this time period, I've
noticed a lot more of those conversations rising online, a
lot of more people in our groups and spaces really
coming to with those challenges, trying to figure out how
to navigate those things, the coping strategies, and trying to
(11:44):
develop how to develop more useful, are more protective coping strategies. Right.
I think that's something I see. And then the last
week I'll say, this is kind of be a little
bit more social media naming. I think that what happens
in these moments is that we become more viscital and
more we attack each other, more we become more our
(12:04):
capacity for compassion, for grace, it diminishes, right, because our
nervous systems are so irritated and so annoyed. And so
I see a lot more fighting. I see a lot
more battles and like you know, put downs, a lot
more rigidity and thinking that I think comes out of
a time when we're all just really deeply stressed.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, yes to all of that. And then I'm also
feeling more grounded. And then even for me, I took
Black August as a time to fast, and for me,
my fast was I went from from August first to
(12:44):
the twenty fourth to where I abstained from alcohol, so
that really cleared my head. And then also I'm feeling
very grounded because I was just dealing with some finance
things that were really heavy on me, and community came
through for me in some wonderful ways into which that
(13:07):
was able to lift for me. So that's just how
I'm feeling. And then I would say, of course, just
in general, but especially now in this time, for you,
what would you say is the importance of intersectionality and
being explicitly inclusive of black, queer and trans men within
(13:31):
mental health spaces for black men.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Yeah, that's a big question. I will say this, I
believe that all black people have a right to heal
and a right to get access to healing services. And
I think that black gay men and black trans men
have often been left out of the broader conversation around
healing and wellness, particularly from a healing justice perspective. I
(13:55):
think that when I think about black gay men and
the nuances of misogyny and transphobia and internalized patriarchy which
shows up in our relationships with each other, there often
hasn't been a mass movement to really kind of do
that kind of healing work. I think that's been a
big beef of mine, right, I think I talk about
that a lot where I say, you know, one of
(14:15):
the things that I see in the groups and the
spaces that I offer is I see that a lot
of black gay men don't have a lot of space
to really engage the father wound and how that father
wound shows up in the context of our intimate dynamics,
how that father wond shows up in the context of
how we do or do not see the pain of
(14:37):
other black queer men or other black trans men. Right.
And so I think that for me, it's pivotal that
we be a part of the mental health conversation. But
also these intersections need to be really addressed if we're
really talking about decolonial healing, justice centered wellness, like what
does that look like? You know?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Absolutely? And I just think it's important because it's so
important that we have these discussions to where black, queer
and trans men are allowed to come in and our
queerness and or our transnists are not problematized. So I
also think that's important as well.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
And then for you.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Overall, but particularly of course, particularly during this moment, how
are you seeing face spirituality and religion play out in
our lives? Is it a source of trauma? Is it
a source of healing or is it a little bit
of both?
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I think it's a little bit of both, Joseph, in
terms of my experience, so speaking for myself, someone who's
not a Christian, who you know, hasn't been a Christian
most of my life, but really as a very deeply
spiritual person, a very deeply person who loves Jesus and
is very inspired by yeshall and Jesus example, but my
spirituality is very much so influenced by my Tino ancestry
(15:54):
and digenous belief systems influenced by Lukumi and other kind
of African and synchronized spiritual practices. But I will say
this like one of the biggest beefs that I've had,
and I think this is great. We're talking about this
on a podcast called Very Black. You know, Queer and Christian.
Is that? I think that when I remember when I
lived in Atlanta and I talked about this before, I've
(16:16):
had so much rage at really poorly constructed Christian theology
that has really done such a number on the healing
and wellness of our communities. Right, I think about the
so many years I spent time really supporting black queer
men and black trans women, and many folks who had
been taught that they were inherently sinful and inadequate, who
(16:39):
have been taught that the reason things were happening to
them was not homophobia or racism, our capitalism, or because
they were out of God's favor. Right. One of the
things that I wrote in my book Dear Universe is
I say, you know, God does not favor people. Systems
of inequality favored people. And I think that was a
demarcation from how many people have been taught to think
about that, right, Like I said, like, God doesn't favor
(16:59):
people's systems to favor people, and systems of inequality favor people.
And so I think that there's a lot of work
still to be done to really challenge this kind of
cosmological view that really still situates where people have come
to me and ask me, well, like, how do you
reconcile your God with your sexuality? And I was like, well,
in my spiritual belief system, there's no reconciliation that has
(17:20):
to happen, right, But in Judeo Christian belief systems, that's
very true. That Like in this is idea of a
splitting that I think is very common of Western psychology
and Western spirituality. Often there's a dominant narrative, right, because
of course there are many Christians who have interpreted the
Bible and Christian theology very differently, but there's this dominant
idea that it's separate that you know, in my spirituality
(17:41):
doesn't exist, it isn't real, but I see it really
fracturing and hurting people deeply.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Absolutely, And thank you so much for bringing that, and
thank you so much for bringing on your unique spiritual
experience and then another way that I I really see
the divine really kind of ordaining and orchestrating us to
have this conversation in this time because recently within media,
(18:13):
one of our baby brothers was seen in a moment
of crisis and which and there are many within the
community that are still holding this brother as he moves
through this moment of crisis. And of course we're talking
about the little knas X story, or at least I'm
of course I'm talking about the little nas X story
(18:35):
where you know, little where he was found four am
in the morning, more or less roaming the streets of
la in his underwear. He was approached by the police,
got into an altercation with them, which caused for him
to spend some time in jail, and even now he
is facing felony charges. And I want just I was
(19:00):
wondering kind of like where were you when you heard
the story break? What were your thoughts? Oh? And then
how do you think this one story relates to how
mental health plays out in the public eye for black
queer and transmit and also maybe speak to a little
bit how sometimes we need other ways to address people
(19:22):
in mental crisis outside of calling the police.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Absolutely Yeah. When it happened, I was home. I was
in Los Angeles, and I think my immediate thought was
because I live in LA and I'm often in spaces
where there are a lot of black queer people who
are navigating visibility and all of us psychological challenges that
come along with visibility. The first moment I saw it,
(19:47):
I was like, oh, I felt so much grief because
I immediately the place I went into my spirit was
like the pressures of being a highly visible black gay
queer person, or trained a person who's visible in the world,
who has a pressure of performance and the pressure of
appearing a certain kind of way. I know from the
(20:09):
people I love and care for that that psychological pressure
is sometimes feels insurmountable. And then I thought about I
was like, hmm, what is Lil naz K carrying? Who
are the people around him? I begin to think about too,
because I think that, like a lot of times when
we talk about celebrity or even just community a broadly,
you can have a lot of people around you who
just want to benefit from what you're producing, who benefit
(20:31):
from proximity to you, but not always have your best
interest in heart. And so I meanly thought about who's
around him. I merely thought about what are the pressures
that this baby? And I say, baby, I'm forty four
years old, so he's young to me. You know, what
is the pressures that he is experiencing that we don't
even know about that he has that navigate And then
also of course you know, getting access to recreational substances
(20:54):
and different pieces. Is is that relationship on one that's
helpful to him? Is that one that he feel like,
is that one that he's using in a way this
feels good for him, or is the one that he's
using to escape in a way that may be harmful
for himself? Right, And so immediately I went to that
place of like, where's the care, where's the support? And
of course the first thing that comes to mind, you know,
we call the police. The police are not effective, and
(21:16):
the police don't help with mental health, right, that's not
what their role is. Like their role is to you know,
be a continuation of the protection of capital and capitalism, right,
it's not to actually support the wellness of our folks.
And so the necessity if we think about in this moment,
what would have happened if this happened with nas X,
and instead of being met with the met with the police,
he was met with the care team that would have
took him some space where they would have helped them
(21:38):
connect with his family and his community, where he could
have got a space, we got a respite and get
care where he could have like essentially been like actually
engaged from a place of not punishment, which is what
happens in this country. When someone has a something we
call a mental condition or kind of psychological shift or
break down, we merely assume that they need punishment, they
need incarceration, as opposed to they need care, they need support,
(22:00):
they need understanding. And I think it's a mimic of
what happened online. Right. I'm watching the conversations and I'm
seeing these mean spirited things come out, right, people saying like, Aha,
well that's the girls, blah blah blah. You know this,
dismissing this person might be really going through something challenging,
and dismissing also that the criminal legal system is not
the way we heal our folks. It has never been
(22:21):
a healing place for us. And that like and that
we definitely need responses and that are that are largely
and broadly funded that help support people and getting care
and when they're in crisis, and so some things first
things that came to my mind in terms of like
little nas X in that moment, yep.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
And I think the way we just automatically assumed it
was drugs and how it's it's even come out since then,
you know that you know, he was tested and at
least at that time, there were no you know, illegal
substances to be found in his body, and people aren't
(22:59):
being at the out around that as they were being
around the speculations of this, you know, possibly being an
issue of addiction.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I think the piece of it is is like, you know,
there was an assumption of because the substance might have
been we the substance might have been alcohol, the substance
might have been food, the substance might have been but
I think the right the assumption was that the substance
was some cocaine or other some kind of other drug.
And I think that like the piece is, whatever he
was navigating, did we go to care first? You know?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
And then I also think you bring up an important
point when you ask, like who's around him? Because it
has been heartwarming to see this black gay man have
a black father staring with him and behind him, because
we don't see those narratives in the public media as
much as we should. And then also I even think
(23:51):
back to the documentary, and I mean a lot, a
lot of the other black and brown gay men he
was surrounded with were on his staff and on his payroll,
so they were able to provide some context of community,
but it was the community within the context of a tour.
And then when the tour's over, people have to get
(24:15):
to their next gig. It's kind of like what happens.
And then I will say the last question for this
main conversation before we get into our rapidfy benediction and
our prayer for today is what are some wellness wishes
and tips that you have for black queer and transmit.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Okay, well, I'll start. I think the one of the
most invigorating and helpful things that I do is have
a daily ritual for my wellness. And I always tell
people that, like thinking about your mental health and your
wellness is something you fortify every day, just like you
go to some people go to the gym every day,
or some people read their Bible every day. What is
the way you are fortifying yourself in your nervous system
(24:59):
and your spirit. And so for me, I have a
morning ritual, right it involves my oracle cards and my
tarot cards, setting intentions for the day. I also will
do a yoga, a rinasa flow to get myself present
with my body because a lot of times I can
be very detached to my body when I'm moving so much. Right,
so getting myself grounded and regulating my body, getting my
mind kind of informed, and pouring into myself something that's
(25:21):
inspirational on grounding and anchoring that counters the kind of
colonial and destructive and patriarchal narrative I know I'm going
to encounter that throughout the day. Having that regular ritual
is really important for me, so like in my morning,
in my midday, in my evening, like whether it's my
daily walks, whether it is like you know, really making
time for my for how I eat, et cetera, what
(25:43):
I'm eating. Those are the practices that root me so
that whatever is happening, if I'm taking care of my body,
I'm taking care of my spirit. I am more fortified
to be able to do that. So I encourage people
to figure out what are your daily rituals for your wellness.
What are you doing every day that's fortifying your spirit?
Are you opening every day to read your Bible on
your Kuran? Are you opening every day to spend fifteen
(26:03):
or twenty minutes or an hour to meditate our prey?
Are you setting tensions for your day? Are you being
thoughtful and mindful about how you take breaks for your
body and get access to the earth into land. Those
things are really critical and they don't always take a
lot of They don't always have to like got to
buy something right. Sometimes it's like really things you can
do every day, but fortifying that ritual will ground you
(26:25):
and anchor you. And I can tell everyone that is
the number one thing that I really encourage people to do.
The second thing I encourage people to do is, if
it's possible, find a space, whether it is a healing circle,
whether it is a therapist, whether it is you know
your priestess, your Bible, la or your pastor find a
space where you can begin to unpack the heavy emotional
(26:46):
load that we carry right in a safe space where
you can be cared for and someone can help you
unravel the yarn of all the stuff that we have
within us that gets twisted up sometimes in the narratives
that are not accurate, not fully around, and really keep
us rooted in trauma and and derision. Right, find a
practice and someone in your community help that way. Sometimes
(27:08):
you might start with reading books. I'm always recommending like
books by Bell Hooks because I think they're really helpful
to help us rethink some of the rigid standards we
have around body, the rigid of perfectionism, the rigid kind
of like classism and leaders and that can show up
in our communities that are toxic and heal our mental health.
Think about reading books by black women and black feminists,
and books that really challenge you to say, maybe we
(27:28):
can reject this framework and actually embrace something a small
loving it's more compassionate. Right, So I say, like, find
the space where you can challenge and grow your involved
your thinking and your spiritual thinking as well in your
spiritual practice, whatever that looks like. I think those are
two things I've always encourage people to, like find the
spaces and pray for those spaces like you did, Joseph
when you opened us up. You know, like naming and
(27:50):
calling those spaces to us. Because there are people like
us who are also seeking the same thing. And so
sometimes even like it's just me, it's like, well, actually, no,
there are people in the world who also are like
I'm isolated around these things, around the things I'm trying
to learn about my body, I'm trying to learn about
my trauma other ways I've been in a relationship our
love and intimacy, and so find your people, be intentional
about building ritual and be intentional about cultivating relationships that
(28:15):
are based off of authenticity and depth as opposed to
superficiality and proximity. And that's an important piece too, because
you know, one of the therapists I was trained by
he told me, he said, a lot of men of
all sexualities they have a lot of buddies, but don't
have a lot of friends, right, And I think about
that often as a difference between a buddy bud if
somebody kick it, what you hang with. But a friend
(28:36):
is someone who I go to in my moment of
distress and they're gonna pull up for me. I'm someone
I trust who can actually potentially be able to be witnessed,
to witness my vulnerability and not exploit that vulnerability intentionally, right,
Who actually can be there to I don't have to
wear the mask for them. What does that look like? Right?
And finding it build those relationships means that we have
to lend into the vulnerability of being seen, that we
(28:58):
have to be like, this is my different this is
my wounds, my sore spots, you know. And so I
think those are some of the things I think that
I always encourage and try to teach in our in
our trainings and our healing circles and our spaces because
they've helped me. But once again, everyone's journey is different.
I'm really curious, Joe soph what do you what do
you do what helps you in your journey in terms
of cultivating your own wellness and healing.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
So it is really important that you said ritual because
that's important to me. And I'm so I'm where I'm
sitting serves to spaces like it's my workspace, but it
is also like my altar, where like I have a
picture of my family, I have hymn books open, I
(29:41):
have my mother's Bible open, and then I have a
couple of books that I read from. So like, not
sure who needs to hear this butt by me? The
urban who has a pretty big wellness platform. And then
currently I'm also reading Blue Notes and ANTHOLOGI You of Love,
Justice and Liberation, which is an anthology of people who
(30:07):
of black and black individuals within the Unitarian Universalist Church
that I read, I make sure that I start. Even
as a Christian, I don't necessarily feel it important to
always necessarily read my Bible. I just like reading texts
that will inspire me and kind of get me in
that godlike space. But it's also important to me that
(30:31):
I start my day in music. So for each each month,
I'll pick two different sets of songs, two songs to
start my day with, two songs to end my day with.
So for September, I start my day with a song
called Blessed by the Emotions, and then I end my
day and then September by Earth Wind and Fire, and
(30:55):
then I end my day with Zoom by the Commodores
and a song called Sunrise by George Duke. Journaling is
important is an important part for me, So I have
like this thing. It's called Q and A five Q
and A a day. So it's three hundred and sixty
five questions over five years, with one thousand and eight
(31:18):
hundred and twenty five answers. So you just go in
and it's a calendar that you follow for a five
year period, and you just get to track yourself that way,
and you just and I mean really, the space that
you're giving is usually no longer than a sentence, but
it's just a simple question and you just write down
(31:40):
what that question brings up for you. I also find
walking important so that I'm getting out, I'm moving my body,
I'm getting some fresh air. I really find it important
that I make my bed in the morning, that I
open up my blinds and I let natural light in,
(32:03):
like showering, like bathing is an important part of self
care for me. And I even think that even kind
of plays into the fact that I'm a water sign,
so like I'm a cancer sun, I'm a Virgo moon,
and I'm a Capricorn rising, so even that kind of
plays into it for me. And then even during my
morning and even times having times like maybe after I
(32:26):
like after I pray or after I read a selection
from one of the devotional books that I use to
just sit in silence for five minutes and actually allow
God to talk back to me after I pray, and
then I really love like affirmation decks. So right now
(32:46):
I've been working through the Deck of Plenty by Hinny
Nicholas that I really enjoy. So yeah, it's really it
really is about having a system and about you know,
doing the work of wellness.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
For me, absolutely that. And I love all the rituals
that you share and they're so beautiful, and I love
that they're all really accessible, right like from the books
that you read from from the decks. It's about I
love how also response again aligns with what I talk
about with fortifying a daily practice right constantly pouring into yourself,
as opposed to what I think happens a lot for
many of us in our communities. We wait until our
(33:20):
mental health has gotten to the point of the brink
of the on the edge, and then all of a
sudden we're like, Okay, now we need to do something ritual,
where as opposed to every day I'm actually trying to
cultivate something for my wellness. And that I love the
what you presented and shared. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
You're listening to Hella Black, Hella Queer. Hello, Christian.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
We're going to pause for a second, but don't go
too far. More of this conversation when we come back.
So now we're going to move into our rapid fire benediction.
Just eight quick questions and whatever comes up when I
pose the question, that's what you can share.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Sound.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
What are you looking forward to?
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Oh? What am I looking forward to? I am looking
forward to going to I at Kiska are commonly known
as the island of Hispaniola. I'm looking forward to going
back there because that is one of my ancestral homelands
that I feel really deeply at home with and connected to,
and so I'm really excited about that and looking forward
(34:47):
to it. I am excited.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I'm excited about this last quarter of the year. Whenever
it seems like whenever you hit the bird months and
it's kind of like the holiday season, special things happen.
What is one thing you like about yourself?
Speaker 3 (35:05):
Oh? I like that I have a lot of emotional
courage to own the difficult and not easy parts of myself.
I like that I am, I feel I am. I
feel like I am. And I've heard this consistently that
I'm not afraid of my quote unquote onwn ugly, and
(35:25):
I think that that is a part of myself that
I'm I've seen models from my grandmother and my father,
my mother that I'm really proud of, and I like that.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I like the way I make sense of the world.
I like the way my mind works. Oh, I like
the way I like my mind's filing system.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
And when you say violencis you mean like, is that
that virgo in place where you organize everything neatly? Is
that what that is?
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I guess you could maybe not necessarily neatly, But I
just like the way that I make the way I
make things make sense for me. Heard, where are you
a year from today?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Mmmm? A year from today, I would love to be
in a place where I'm consistently holding more beautiful spaces,
where my garden is flourishing, my literal garden. I love
to grow fruits and vegetables and herbs. It's something that's
very sustaining to me, and it keeps me in connection
with the land. And so I would say, a year
from today, I am doing the things that I love,
(36:28):
which is consistently holding healing space but also growing things,
and also being surrounded by the little ones in my
life who I love, and all the people in my
inner circle who keep me sustained so and a year today,
I want to be deeper into those roots and somewhere
in the somewhere in that, in that realm.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
But a year from today, I'm hoping to wrap up
season two of this podcast. A year from today, I'm
hoping to have had a summer with a lot more travel.
A year from today, I am hoping so the streams
of income that I lost when I was laid off
from my main job, I'm hoping that those streams of
(37:07):
income have been replaced by that. What are you thankful for?
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I'm thankful for I'm really thankful in this moment. I
would say for my friends and my community. I'm thankful
for my body. I'm thankful for my ancestors and my spirituality.
I'm thankful that I've had mentors and teachers who have
taught me about life and spirituality and spiritual practices that
have given me the strength to kind of navigate the
(37:33):
very difficult life to reign. And so I'm feeling really
grateful for them, even amidst all the challenges, I feel
really grateful for this life and the opportunity to serve
community through the lens of healing and wellness. So Yeah,
that's how I feel. What about you.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I'm thankful to have a good name, and I'm thankful
to have a name that I can cash in when
I need it. And I'm thankful that God has just
crafted me in my life in such a way to
where I'm someone that people don't mind helping. What are
you proud of?
Speaker 3 (38:08):
I'm proud of the relationships I have that have sustained
twenty thirty plus years. You know, I'm currently home in
my mother's house, mother and father's house, and I have
friends that I've been able to sustain through all the
up and downs, really great relationships, and I think I'm
proud of that. I'm proud. I'm proud that I've had
(38:29):
the skills and the support to cultivate the skills when
I didn't have them. I'm proud that I have people
that I know that really love me and care for
me and show up for me and have fun with
me and see me in all my foolishness and flaws.
I'm proud of that because I know it takes labor
to make that possible, and I put in a lot
of labor to make sure that I had a solid
inner circle. I'm definitely a person who I'm I say,
(38:52):
I'm not a wide social person. I'm more of an
insular social person, like you know, I pop up at
other places, but I'm very to the people that I
and I think that's something I'm proud about of the
contributions and commitments I've had to them and what they've
had to me.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
I'm proud of the way that I've navigated my alcohol
youse after the fast is over, and because like you know,
even today, like a lot of times I would sink,
like I would sink my listening to music to like
my alcohol youth. So and it's like I'm very big
on like anniversaries and people's birthdays and people passing away,
(39:30):
and it's kind of like I couldn't see myself kind
of like starting those anniversaries until after five because I
kind of had a I have a curfew to where
I don't drink before five pm. And then on what
is a thorn for you?
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Tell me more what you mean a thorn? What does
that mean? Like?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Just what's getting your goat? What's your petty pee? What
is something that is just rubbing you the wrong way
right now?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Oh, it's a good point.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Hmmm.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
I would say a thorn for me. I struggle with
the very human reality that some of us can have
significant blocks and myself, all of us included, have significant
blocks on how we psychological blocks on how we perpetuate
(40:23):
the very things we say we don't want. You know,
it is a difficult thing for me to be in
deep community with you know, beautiful people who have those blocks,
and it's a growing point for me in terms of compassion,
because we all have a you know, there's a broad
there's a gap between our practice and our theory for
all of us to some extent. But I think sometimes
(40:43):
when I come across people who have those wide, those
wide distinctions and are very unclear about them, it can
be very activating for me because I'm just like, Okay,
now I have to navigate this. And I think that
that's a thorn for me. It's a little icky point
because it's something I work so rigorously on myself and
(41:04):
don't get right all the time either and fail. But
it's something that I'm always mindful of, you know, the
lack of compassion, the lack of the more the big
blocks and like self perception and the unwillingness to be
a self perceptive around how you might perpetuate a thing
that you say you don't want you know about you.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
So a thorn for me. Something that just really kind
of has my attention right now is of course, how
these HBCUs are having to go on lockdown because people
are choosing to express their grief for the assassination of
(41:48):
Charlie Kirk by attacking HBCUs and by phoning in thretch
to HBCUs. What is giving you joy?
Speaker 3 (41:57):
What's giving me joy? Well, it's giving me joy lately.
My nephew Mason just turned three yesterday. That gives me
a lot of joy. He's so precious. And I got
I got a chance to spend time with my niece
who is five years old be six next month, and
we did. We played soccer, which she beat me in,
(42:18):
and then we also read some books together, some books
I sent to her because I love to share books
with my little ones. So all my little ones are
bringing me a lot of joy. I enjoy the actor
being a nurturer, but also having little people in my
life really means a lot to me, and they bring
me a lot of joy.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
The public library is bringing me joy right now, And
I really do want to shout out the DC Public Library.
I I am just I think DC has a wonderful
public library system that offers a myriad of community events
and offers for a myriad of ways for community to
(42:54):
come together in ways that I'm really proud of. And
I've kind of gotten back into kind of like the
childhood joy of like actually checking out books from the
library and not always feeling the need to buy books.
So and then it's like I've recently gotten into like
reading two books at a time. So right now I
(43:16):
checked out Tony Morrison's The Source of Self Regard, and
then I'm pairing that with the price of the ticket,
which is the collection, which is a bound collection of
James Baldwin's nonfiction work from nineteen forty eight to nineteen
eighty five. And I was actually able to pick that
(43:38):
up from a little free library on my block. So
whether it's the d the formal DC Public Library, or
whether it's the little free libraries on my block, the
public library.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Gives me joy.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
And this actually beats into my final question because it
gives me hope because many of because it seems like
the live public library is one of the last places
of resistance within this moment. So what's given you hope?
Speaker 3 (44:13):
What's giving me hope? I think the resistance has given
me hope. I you know, I'm grateful that I'm in
connection with healers and organizers and disruptors around the world,
and I see people fighting back every single day. I
see people resisting and making new systems to care for
our folks. I see people rejecting dominant frameworks. And it
(44:34):
gives me hope because I know there will always be
a fight, that we are not going down without a fight,
that we've been fighting since we were forcibly brought to
this land. And I am embold in by the fact
that we will have many wins and have had many
wins against this tide of you know, hate based trauma,
like you know what I mean, Like all the pieces
that we have come from these folks. So if it
(44:55):
gives me a lot of hope because I know that
we want to fight back, and I know we're gonna
I know it's always going to be a challeng but
I know there will always be a resistance, and that
gives me hope.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Excellent, excellent, thanks for sticking with Hella Black, Hella Queer. Hello, Christian,
if you don't mind, with the time that we have left,
I would love to close out this episode by us
(45:26):
being together in prayer with our spiritual commonalities and maybe
even some of our spiritual differences. So I'm going to
ask is during this time, is there anything that you
would like to intentionally lift.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
Up in prayer? Hm, that's a great question. Anything I
want to intentional listen from prayer? Oh? Well, you know,
I think of prayer as one piece and I think
of also I think a lot. For me, it's a
lot of affirmations and as one form of prayer. And
you know, I think in this moment, I'm just I'm
(46:02):
just calling on all of us to to heed, to hear,
to listen, to lean into the knowledge and not of
our just of our ancestors, of the knowledge of the land,
knowledge of spirit as a tool to help alchemize, transform,
and transmute the spirit of disconnection and hatred and hurt
(46:23):
that has taken over this planet in so many different ways.
And so I'm calling on more of us to lean
into our lineages. I'm calling on more of us to
lean into our ancestors, faith and resistance traditions, And I'm
calling more of us to understand that we have the
power to heal, we have the power to reimagine. We
don't have to be held hostage to the short sighted
(46:45):
and fear based visions that these men and people and
power have tried to propagate. And so I'm calling into
us remembrance. I'm calling into us our sacred power. Yeah,
and I'm calling I'm calling ancestors. That's what I'm calling
in as a prayer and an affirmation.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Okay, So first I'm hearing a return to praying that
we would return to ourselves. That's really what I'm hearing
you saying. And then for me, I I'm gonna ask
that we intentionally pray pray for our HPC used. I
am gonna intentionally I asked that we intentionally pray for
(47:26):
a little nas X. And I'm also asking that we
intentionally pray for Billy Porter, who's been having a rough moment.
And then it was just announced that the production of
Cavaret that he was starring in is closing early and
he's also having a some some health challenges. He's having
(47:48):
a h A, he's he's come down with with sepsist
so so so we're praying for a return to ourselves.
We're praying for our HBC used, praying for a Little
no Ex and praying for Billy Porter. Dear God, we
love you, precious and wonderful Holy Spirit. We love you, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
We love you.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
God in all of your names. We love you, and
we just come before you, thanking you for this time,
Thanking you for season one of Hello Black, Hello Queer,
Hello Christians. Thank you for the wonderful conversations that we've
been able to have, and thank you for bringing us
(48:36):
back around to wellness. Thank you for my friend Yolo.
Thank you for the time that they took with us today,
thank you for the wisdom that they shared, and thank
you in advance for the ways that this episode is
going to reach who it needs to reach, and it's
(48:56):
going to help somebody. Lord, we come lifting up our brother,
your child, Montero Hill, who we know as Little knas Ex. Lord.
We don't know, we don't need to know, but you
(49:20):
know what you know, and you know what needs to
be known, and we are asking that you would step
in and that you would be a healer, that you
would be an advocate, and that you would be his
vindication in this hour we lift up our brother, our elder,
(49:44):
our pioneer, our trailblazer, Billy Porter, be a doctor in
the sick room for him right now. Once again, we
don't know everything, and we do not need to know everything,
but you know, and you know what needs to be known.
You know what needs to be done. And not only
(50:08):
do you know, not only are you willing, but you
are more than able. For you are Alpha and omega.
You are the beginning and the end. You are the
author and the finisher and the source of all things.
All power is in your hand. And we just stand
(50:32):
in this space and we declare your might, your power,
your capability. But we also proclaim your goodness, your grace,
your mercy, and your love for these individuals and for
us as black, queer and transmen. And then, lastly, God,
(50:54):
we lift up our HBCUs be a hedge around historically
black colleges and universities, especially in this moment where bloodshed
is being being met with the threat of more bloodshed,
(51:16):
where we are holding on to hate because we're too
scared to make the move toward love. And then, finally, God,
we ask that you would return us to ourselves, bring
us back into our right minds. Bring us back, help
(51:42):
us to take back, Help us to pick back up
the tools that we know to use. Because many of
us we know what to do, we just refuse to
do it, and we're just a lie, allowing ourselves to
get sidetracked by our vices and by the whirlwind speed
(52:06):
of the world. But God, help us to pick back up,
pick back up our tools. Help us to return to
our systems of knowing, Help us to return to our
communities and our institutions of belonging. We've got the power,
(52:28):
we just need to take it off the shelf, dust
it off, and we need to work the work all
of this. I pray in all of your names, but
I will specifically call on the name Jesus, a man.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
A man, and Amen, Amen. I love that. Now give
a shared that, Joseph. That was beautiful.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
You're welcome. So with that, that wraps up season one
of Hella Black, Hello Queer, Hello Christian Everyday. Don't have
news yet on when season two will be coming, but
we believe that it will be coming soon, and just
continue to pray and put good energy toward that. But
even in the meantime, while we're waiting for season two
(53:17):
to begin You all can still find me at Joseph
they them on Instagram, on Blue Scott on threads, and
you can still email me Joseph Freese at iHeartMedia dot com.
Would love to hear from you and would love to
hear how Season one of this podcast was a blessing
to you and then Yolo, how can people find you
(53:38):
and the work.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
That you're doing? Absolutely excuse me. You can follow me
at Yolo Achille y O l O A K I
l I on Instagram. You can also find an organization
Beam org It's underscore beam org, or you can look
at Beam dot community. It is not a dot com,
it is a dot community. So Beam as an array
of lights dot com unity. You can find tools and
(54:01):
resources for your healing and mental health journey, as well
as in person and virtual events to find and cultivate community.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
Amen. So with that, I will see you all the
next time. Hella Black, Hello Queer, Hello Christian is a
production of iHeartMedia on the Outspoken Slate, which seeks to
amplify LGBTQ voices in podcasting. I am your host and
(54:30):
executive creative producer, Joseph Freese, along with Gabrielle Collins, who
also serves as executive producer. Dylan you Are is a producer.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Trevle is our lead producer and editor.
Hello Black, Hello Queer, Hello Christian is a production of
iHeart podcast on the Outspoken Network, which seeks to amplify
LGBTQ voices in podcasting. Show me how good is going
to get today? God, dear Universe, you have permission to
(00:21):
amaze me today. I am a beautiful and blessed being
who deserves great things always.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I love my life and I am thankful for my life.
I am safe and I have everything I need. Something
amazing is happening for me today. Show me how good
is going to get today. God, Dear Universe, you have
permission to amaze me today. I am a beautiful and
(00:50):
blessed being who deserves great things always. I love my
life and I am thankful for my life. I am
safe and I have everything I need. Something amazing is
happening for me today. Show me how good is going
to get today. God, Dear Universe, you have permission to
(01:12):
amaze me today. I am a beautiful and blessed being
who deserves great things always. I love my life and
I am thankful for my life. I am safe and
I have everything I need. Something amazing is happening for
me today. Show me how good is going to get today, God,
(01:35):
Dear Universe, you have permission to amaze me.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Today.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I am a beautiful and blessed being who deserves great
things always. I love my life and I am thankful
for my life. I am safe, and I have everything
I need. Something amazing is happening for me today. Well friends, Hello,
(02:15):
and welcome to another episode of Hella Black, Hella Queer,
Hello Christian, a fully black, fully queer, fully human, fully
divine podcast around society and culture, aka the little podcast
that can do all things through Christ. It has been
a wonderful journey and we have come to the final
(02:37):
episode of season one for Hella Black Queer, Hello Christian,
and I just love how Holy Spirit, how the Divine
just worked it to where this inaugural season of the
podcast would have bookends, because if you've been with us
since episode one, we started with my brothers Alfonso, Trey
(02:59):
Campbell and o Loray and we had the conversation around
black men and substance abuse, misused substance use. And we
have had such a wonderful journey over these episodes and
now we are landing this plane for season one and
we are coming back to wellness with an episode named
(03:23):
in honor of one Frankie Beverly because as of today's recording,
September the eleventh, it marks the one year anniversary since
Frankie transitioned from elder to ancestor. I also feel that
it was important to have this conversation around wellness because
(03:44):
for many of us who have who come to this podcast,
For me, as a black, queer Christian who created this podcast,
we are a part of communities where our wellness is
under attack, especially for those of us who live in
these yet to be United States of America. And then
for me, September is a month where I have to
(04:09):
carry myself very tenderly, and I have to carry myself
with a lot of care because as of today's the eleventh,
when we're recording, yesterday was the twentieth anniversary of my
father's passing. So shout out to my father, the late
Maxie Reeves. I am if you listen to but five
(04:33):
minutes of one episode of this podcast, if there's one
thing you don't know about me outside of the fact
that I'm black, queer and Christian, I am a New
Yorker and I am a New Yorker who was of
age on Tuesday, September the eleventh, two thousand and one.
I was in my sophomore year of high school. It
(04:56):
was around second period where we started to hear news
that the planes had hit the towers, and then of
course the planes hit the Pentagon, and then you know,
I'm born in eighty five, so not only did I
witness the not eleven attacks, but I also witnessed the
nineteen ninety three attacks on the World Trade Center, so
(05:19):
that happened on the eleventh. And then, of course, as
I just said, the eleventh now marks that the day
that Frankie Beverly passed for me as a music lover.
And then this coming Tuesday, when you all should be
hearing the podcast, September sixteenth is the fourth anniversary of
my mother's passing. And then for me, the month closes
(05:41):
out on the twenty third, where I will remember my
Grandma Washington, who I've discussed many times on this episode,
because the twenty third will be her one hundred and
fourth birthday, so there's a lot to remember. There's a
lot to hold for me in this month. So I
(06:05):
just really feel like the divine worked it so that
we would close out this season of the podcast with
this conversation, and I would love for my very special
guests to come in, introduce themselves, share their pronouns, and
as an icebreaker, share your favorite Frankie Beverly song.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Oh my God, First, Joseph, my name is Yola Achille Robinson,
and I just want to start by saying thank you
for inviting me into this sacred space, this conversation and
also just holding you with so much tenderness and love
as you are navigating this month as well. My pronouns
(06:48):
are he and they, and my favorite Frankly mat Beverly
song is before I Let Go Without a question. You know,
I was one of the people who, as much as
I adore and love Beyonce, I definitely when she dropped
the remix, I was like, oh, okay, I know if
my spirit is ready for that. I don't know if
I was ready for that. And then but I learned
(07:09):
to come to learn to appreciate her reimagining of the
song just as much as I love the original.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So yeah, So my favorite Frankie Beverly song I ain't
gonna go with Golden Time of Day, and it is
a song that I've actually used during my evening devotional
time on several occasions. So so let's jump in with
this first question because you know, for those that don't know,
(07:36):
Yolo is someone who has really answered the call on
their life to be an advocate for wellness, particularly when
it comes to black folks, and really does it in
a very in a way that is wonderfully intersectional. And
it is from that space that I did want to
have the first question B for you. How are you doing?
(08:02):
And then what are the mental health trends you are
seeing or what are the wellness trends the wellness needs
you are seeing among black, gay, bisexual, and trans men,
particularly since Trump has taken off.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, great question. So I'll start with myself. I think
today I'm feeling a lot of different things. There's a
part of me today that, after a period of not
feeling anchored and rooted, I am feeling anchored and rooted,
which I'm grateful for. Even amidst that groundedness and anchorness,
I'm still managing. Of course, the anxiety of the moment.
(08:39):
There is that is definitely in my body, and there's
also a lot of gratitude in my body and a
lot of curiosity, but definitely holding a lot of anxiety,
and I would say a lot of grief as well
is what I'm holding as well. So the range of
those things is what's kind of with my life right
now and in my body and in my spirit that
I'm managing and actively engaging in practices to help me
(09:02):
hold better. That's kind of where I'm at. It's been
a difficult time in the world, and I think for
any of us who hold healing an emotional wellness space,
we feel it doubly because we are holding space for folks,
you know. So I would say that is something that's
where I'm at now. The question about kind of things
I'm seeing with black wear and transmen and gay men,
(09:26):
you know, I'm seeing a lot of different things without question,
of course, but I want to start with black trans
men and really naming that the increased transphobia in the
world and the environment has definitely contributed to increased anxiety
and fear right And it's not like we've lived in
a country prior to the Trump era where people felt safe.
(09:49):
That's not the case, right, It's just like escalated even
to even higher proportions where so much transphobic violence is
being condoned by you know, often right wing our politicians
and you know, really hate centered leaders, I call them.
And so I'm seeing a lot of distress, a lot
of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot of people
being activated. And through that, I think for all black,
(10:13):
queer man and gayment, I'm seeing we're all turning to
the coping strategies that we have. And let me contextualize that, right,
I'm a big believer that we all develop different kinds
of coping strategies to manage our stress and our anxiety.
And sometimes it's not that it's not that a coping
strategy is quote unquote bad, so much as we may
(10:36):
over use one, or we may have a relationship to
one that may be harmful for us if we overextend
it or if we rely on it solely. And so
I think some of the things that I'm seeing, of course,
I'm seeing a lot of us really leaning into a
relationship to sex that isn't really about honoring our bodies
and honoring our pleasure, but more about managing our anxiety.
(10:58):
And that post of people feeling a lot of guilt
after that intimacy, right, I'm noticing that kind of increase.
Of course, we're talking about substance use. One of the
things I think is so important to do talk when
we talk about substance use, for many of us, we're
using something to help us numb navigate heels, not even
helps our numb navigate our manage some pain or some discomfort, right,
(11:21):
And I think when we think about it from that perspective,
it's a lot more loving and a lot more thoughtful
because we're essentially what we're trying to do is manage
a place where we're hurting, or we're wounded, or we're struggling.
And so I think that during this time period, I've
noticed a lot more of those conversations rising online, a
lot of more people in our groups and spaces really
coming to with those challenges, trying to figure out how
to navigate those things, the coping strategies, and trying to
(11:44):
develop how to develop more useful, are more protective coping strategies. Right.
I think that's something I see. And then the last
week I'll say, this is kind of be a little
bit more social media naming. I think that what happens
in these moments is that we become more viscital and
more we attack each other, more we become more our
(12:04):
capacity for compassion, for grace, it diminishes, right, because our
nervous systems are so irritated and so annoyed. And so
I see a lot more fighting. I see a lot
more battles and like you know, put downs, a lot
more rigidity and thinking that I think comes out of
a time when we're all just really deeply stressed.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, yes to all of that. And then I'm also
feeling more grounded. And then even for me, I took
Black August as a time to fast, and for me,
my fast was I went from from August first to
(12:44):
the twenty fourth to where I abstained from alcohol, so
that really cleared my head. And then also I'm feeling
very grounded because I was just dealing with some finance
things that were really heavy on me, and community came
through for me in some wonderful ways into which that
(13:07):
was able to lift for me. So that's just how
I'm feeling. And then I would say, of course, just
in general, but especially now in this time, for you,
what would you say is the importance of intersectionality and
being explicitly inclusive of black, queer and trans men within
(13:31):
mental health spaces for black men.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Yeah, that's a big question. I will say this, I
believe that all black people have a right to heal
and a right to get access to healing services. And
I think that black gay men and black trans men
have often been left out of the broader conversation around
healing and wellness, particularly from a healing justice perspective. I
(13:55):
think that when I think about black gay men and
the nuances of misogyny and transphobia and internalized patriarchy which
shows up in our relationships with each other, there often
hasn't been a mass movement to really kind of do
that kind of healing work. I think that's been a
big beef of mine, right, I think I talk about
that a lot where I say, you know, one of
(14:15):
the things that I see in the groups and the
spaces that I offer is I see that a lot
of black gay men don't have a lot of space
to really engage the father wound and how that father
wound shows up in the context of our intimate dynamics,
how that father wond shows up in the context of
how we do or do not see the pain of
(14:37):
other black queer men or other black trans men. Right.
And so I think that for me, it's pivotal that
we be a part of the mental health conversation. But
also these intersections need to be really addressed if we're
really talking about decolonial healing, justice centered wellness, like what
does that look like? You know?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Absolutely? And I just think it's important because it's so
important that we have these discussions to where black, queer
and trans men are allowed to come in and our
queerness and or our transnists are not problematized. So I
also think that's important as well.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
And then for you.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Overall, but particularly of course, particularly during this moment, how
are you seeing face spirituality and religion play out in
our lives? Is it a source of trauma? Is it
a source of healing or is it a little bit
of both?
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I think it's a little bit of both, Joseph, in
terms of my experience, so speaking for myself, someone who's
not a Christian, who you know, hasn't been a Christian
most of my life, but really as a very deeply
spiritual person, a very deeply person who loves Jesus and
is very inspired by yeshall and Jesus example, but my
spirituality is very much so influenced by my Tino ancestry
(15:54):
and digenous belief systems influenced by Lukumi and other kind
of African and synchronized spiritual practices. But I will say
this like one of the biggest beefs that I've had,
and I think this is great. We're talking about this
on a podcast called Very Black. You know, Queer and Christian.
Is that? I think that when I remember when I
lived in Atlanta and I talked about this before, I've
(16:16):
had so much rage at really poorly constructed Christian theology
that has really done such a number on the healing
and wellness of our communities. Right, I think about the
so many years I spent time really supporting black queer
men and black trans women, and many folks who had
been taught that they were inherently sinful and inadequate, who
(16:39):
have been taught that the reason things were happening to
them was not homophobia or racism, our capitalism, or because
they were out of God's favor. Right. One of the
things that I wrote in my book Dear Universe is
I say, you know, God does not favor people. Systems
of inequality favored people. And I think that was a
demarcation from how many people have been taught to think
about that, right, Like I said, like, God doesn't favor
(16:59):
people's systems to favor people, and systems of inequality favor people.
And so I think that there's a lot of work
still to be done to really challenge this kind of
cosmological view that really still situates where people have come
to me and ask me, well, like, how do you
reconcile your God with your sexuality? And I was like, well,
in my spiritual belief system, there's no reconciliation that has
(17:20):
to happen, right, But in Judeo Christian belief systems, that's
very true. That Like in this is idea of a
splitting that I think is very common of Western psychology
and Western spirituality. Often there's a dominant narrative, right, because
of course there are many Christians who have interpreted the
Bible and Christian theology very differently, but there's this dominant
idea that it's separate that you know, in my spirituality
(17:41):
doesn't exist, it isn't real, but I see it really
fracturing and hurting people deeply.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Absolutely, And thank you so much for bringing that, and
thank you so much for bringing on your unique spiritual
experience and then another way that I I really see
the divine really kind of ordaining and orchestrating us to
have this conversation in this time because recently within media,
(18:13):
one of our baby brothers was seen in a moment
of crisis and which and there are many within the
community that are still holding this brother as he moves
through this moment of crisis. And of course we're talking
about the little knas X story, or at least I'm
of course I'm talking about the little nas X story
(18:35):
where you know, little where he was found four am
in the morning, more or less roaming the streets of
la in his underwear. He was approached by the police,
got into an altercation with them, which caused for him
to spend some time in jail, and even now he
is facing felony charges. And I want just I was
(19:00):
wondering kind of like where were you when you heard
the story break? What were your thoughts? Oh? And then
how do you think this one story relates to how
mental health plays out in the public eye for black
queer and transmit and also maybe speak to a little
bit how sometimes we need other ways to address people
(19:22):
in mental crisis outside of calling the police.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Absolutely Yeah. When it happened, I was home. I was
in Los Angeles, and I think my immediate thought was
because I live in LA and I'm often in spaces
where there are a lot of black queer people who
are navigating visibility and all of us psychological challenges that
come along with visibility. The first moment I saw it,
(19:47):
I was like, oh, I felt so much grief because
I immediately the place I went into my spirit was
like the pressures of being a highly visible black gay
queer person, or trained a person who's visible in the world,
who has a pressure of performance and the pressure of
appearing a certain kind of way. I know from the
(20:09):
people I love and care for that that psychological pressure
is sometimes feels insurmountable. And then I thought about I
was like, hmm, what is Lil naz K carrying? Who
are the people around him? I begin to think about too,
because I think that, like a lot of times when
we talk about celebrity or even just community a broadly,
you can have a lot of people around you who
just want to benefit from what you're producing, who benefit
(20:31):
from proximity to you, but not always have your best
interest in heart. And so I meanly thought about who's
around him. I merely thought about what are the pressures
that this baby? And I say, baby, I'm forty four
years old, so he's young to me. You know, what
is the pressures that he is experiencing that we don't
even know about that he has that navigate And then
also of course you know, getting access to recreational substances
(20:54):
and different pieces. Is is that relationship on one that's
helpful to him? Is that one that he feel like,
is that one that he's using in a way this
feels good for him, or is the one that he's
using to escape in a way that may be harmful
for himself? Right, And so immediately I went to that
place of like, where's the care, where's the support? And
of course the first thing that comes to mind, you know,
we call the police. The police are not effective, and
(21:16):
the police don't help with mental health, right, that's not
what their role is. Like their role is to you know,
be a continuation of the protection of capital and capitalism, right,
it's not to actually support the wellness of our folks.
And so the necessity if we think about in this moment,
what would have happened if this happened with nas X,
and instead of being met with the met with the police,
he was met with the care team that would have
took him some space where they would have helped them
(21:38):
connect with his family and his community, where he could
have got a space, we got a respite and get
care where he could have like essentially been like actually
engaged from a place of not punishment, which is what
happens in this country. When someone has a something we
call a mental condition or kind of psychological shift or
break down, we merely assume that they need punishment, they
need incarceration, as opposed to they need care, they need support,
(22:00):
they need understanding. And I think it's a mimic of
what happened online. Right. I'm watching the conversations and I'm
seeing these mean spirited things come out, right, people saying like, Aha,
well that's the girls, blah blah blah. You know this,
dismissing this person might be really going through something challenging,
and dismissing also that the criminal legal system is not
the way we heal our folks. It has never been
(22:21):
a healing place for us. And that like and that
we definitely need responses and that are that are largely
and broadly funded that help support people and getting care
and when they're in crisis, and so some things first
things that came to my mind in terms of like
little nas X in that moment, yep.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
And I think the way we just automatically assumed it
was drugs and how it's it's even come out since then,
you know that you know, he was tested and at
least at that time, there were no you know, illegal
substances to be found in his body, and people aren't
(22:59):
being at the out around that as they were being
around the speculations of this, you know, possibly being an
issue of addiction.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I think the piece of it is is like, you know,
there was an assumption of because the substance might have
been we the substance might have been alcohol, the substance
might have been food, the substance might have been but
I think the right the assumption was that the substance
was some cocaine or other some kind of other drug.
And I think that like the piece is, whatever he
was navigating, did we go to care first? You know?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
And then I also think you bring up an important
point when you ask, like who's around him? Because it
has been heartwarming to see this black gay man have
a black father staring with him and behind him, because
we don't see those narratives in the public media as
much as we should. And then also I even think
(23:51):
back to the documentary, and I mean a lot, a
lot of the other black and brown gay men he
was surrounded with were on his staff and on his payroll,
so they were able to provide some context of community,
but it was the community within the context of a tour.
And then when the tour's over, people have to get
(24:15):
to their next gig. It's kind of like what happens.
And then I will say the last question for this
main conversation before we get into our rapidfy benediction and
our prayer for today is what are some wellness wishes
and tips that you have for black queer and transmit.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Okay, well, I'll start. I think the one of the
most invigorating and helpful things that I do is have
a daily ritual for my wellness. And I always tell
people that, like thinking about your mental health and your
wellness is something you fortify every day, just like you
go to some people go to the gym every day,
or some people read their Bible every day. What is
the way you are fortifying yourself in your nervous system
(24:59):
and your spirit. And so for me, I have a
morning ritual, right it involves my oracle cards and my
tarot cards, setting intentions for the day. I also will
do a yoga, a rinasa flow to get myself present
with my body because a lot of times I can
be very detached to my body when I'm moving so much. Right,
so getting myself grounded and regulating my body, getting my
mind kind of informed, and pouring into myself something that's
(25:21):
inspirational on grounding and anchoring that counters the kind of
colonial and destructive and patriarchal narrative I know I'm going
to encounter that throughout the day. Having that regular ritual
is really important for me, so like in my morning,
in my midday, in my evening, like whether it's my
daily walks, whether it is like you know, really making
time for my for how I eat, et cetera, what
(25:43):
I'm eating. Those are the practices that root me so
that whatever is happening, if I'm taking care of my body,
I'm taking care of my spirit. I am more fortified
to be able to do that. So I encourage people
to figure out what are your daily rituals for your wellness.
What are you doing every day that's fortifying your spirit?
Are you opening every day to read your Bible on
your Kuran? Are you opening every day to spend fifteen
(26:03):
or twenty minutes or an hour to meditate our prey?
Are you setting tensions for your day? Are you being
thoughtful and mindful about how you take breaks for your
body and get access to the earth into land. Those
things are really critical and they don't always take a
lot of They don't always have to like got to
buy something right. Sometimes it's like really things you can
do every day, but fortifying that ritual will ground you
(26:25):
and anchor you. And I can tell everyone that is
the number one thing that I really encourage people to do.
The second thing I encourage people to do is, if
it's possible, find a space, whether it is a healing circle,
whether it is a therapist, whether it is you know
your priestess, your Bible, la or your pastor find a
space where you can begin to unpack the heavy emotional
(26:46):
load that we carry right in a safe space where
you can be cared for and someone can help you
unravel the yarn of all the stuff that we have
within us that gets twisted up sometimes in the narratives
that are not accurate, not fully around, and really keep
us rooted in trauma and and derision. Right, find a
practice and someone in your community help that way. Sometimes
(27:08):
you might start with reading books. I'm always recommending like
books by Bell Hooks because I think they're really helpful
to help us rethink some of the rigid standards we
have around body, the rigid of perfectionism, the rigid kind
of like classism and leaders and that can show up
in our communities that are toxic and heal our mental health.
Think about reading books by black women and black feminists,
and books that really challenge you to say, maybe we
(27:28):
can reject this framework and actually embrace something a small
loving it's more compassionate. Right, So I say, like, find
the space where you can challenge and grow your involved
your thinking and your spiritual thinking as well in your
spiritual practice, whatever that looks like. I think those are
two things I've always encourage people to, like find the
spaces and pray for those spaces like you did, Joseph
when you opened us up. You know, like naming and
(27:50):
calling those spaces to us. Because there are people like
us who are also seeking the same thing. And so
sometimes even like it's just me, it's like, well, actually, no,
there are people in the world who also are like
I'm isolated around these things, around the things I'm trying
to learn about my body, I'm trying to learn about
my trauma other ways I've been in a relationship our
love and intimacy, and so find your people, be intentional
about building ritual and be intentional about cultivating relationships that
(28:15):
are based off of authenticity and depth as opposed to
superficiality and proximity. And that's an important piece too, because
you know, one of the therapists I was trained by
he told me, he said, a lot of men of
all sexualities they have a lot of buddies, but don't
have a lot of friends, right, And I think about
that often as a difference between a buddy bud if
somebody kick it, what you hang with. But a friend
(28:36):
is someone who I go to in my moment of
distress and they're gonna pull up for me. I'm someone
I trust who can actually potentially be able to be witnessed,
to witness my vulnerability and not exploit that vulnerability intentionally, right,
Who actually can be there to I don't have to
wear the mask for them. What does that look like? Right?
And finding it build those relationships means that we have
to lend into the vulnerability of being seen, that we
(28:58):
have to be like, this is my different this is
my wounds, my sore spots, you know. And so I
think those are some of the things I think that
I always encourage and try to teach in our in
our trainings and our healing circles and our spaces because
they've helped me. But once again, everyone's journey is different.
I'm really curious, Joe soph what do you what do
you do what helps you in your journey in terms
of cultivating your own wellness and healing.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
So it is really important that you said ritual because
that's important to me. And I'm so I'm where I'm
sitting serves to spaces like it's my workspace, but it
is also like my altar, where like I have a
picture of my family, I have hymn books open, I
(29:41):
have my mother's Bible open, and then I have a
couple of books that I read from. So like, not
sure who needs to hear this butt by me? The
urban who has a pretty big wellness platform. And then
currently I'm also reading Blue Notes and ANTHOLOGI You of Love,
Justice and Liberation, which is an anthology of people who
(30:07):
of black and black individuals within the Unitarian Universalist Church
that I read, I make sure that I start. Even
as a Christian, I don't necessarily feel it important to
always necessarily read my Bible. I just like reading texts
that will inspire me and kind of get me in
that godlike space. But it's also important to me that
(30:31):
I start my day in music. So for each each month,
I'll pick two different sets of songs, two songs to
start my day with, two songs to end my day with.
So for September, I start my day with a song
called Blessed by the Emotions, and then I end my
day and then September by Earth Wind and Fire, and
(30:55):
then I end my day with Zoom by the Commodores
and a song called Sunrise by George Duke. Journaling is
important is an important part for me, So I have
like this thing. It's called Q and A five Q
and A a day. So it's three hundred and sixty
five questions over five years, with one thousand and eight
(31:18):
hundred and twenty five answers. So you just go in
and it's a calendar that you follow for a five
year period, and you just get to track yourself that way,
and you just and I mean really, the space that
you're giving is usually no longer than a sentence, but
it's just a simple question and you just write down
(31:40):
what that question brings up for you. I also find
walking important so that I'm getting out, I'm moving my body,
I'm getting some fresh air. I really find it important
that I make my bed in the morning, that I
open up my blinds and I let natural light in,
(32:03):
like showering, like bathing is an important part of self
care for me. And I even think that even kind
of plays into the fact that I'm a water sign,
so like I'm a cancer sun, I'm a Virgo moon,
and I'm a Capricorn rising, so even that kind of
plays into it for me. And then even during my
morning and even times having times like maybe after I
(32:26):
like after I pray or after I read a selection
from one of the devotional books that I use to
just sit in silence for five minutes and actually allow
God to talk back to me after I pray, and
then I really love like affirmation decks. So right now
(32:46):
I've been working through the Deck of Plenty by Hinny
Nicholas that I really enjoy. So yeah, it's really it
really is about having a system and about you know,
doing the work of wellness.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
For me, absolutely that. And I love all the rituals
that you share and they're so beautiful, and I love
that they're all really accessible, right like from the books
that you read from from the decks. It's about I
love how also response again aligns with what I talk
about with fortifying a daily practice right constantly pouring into yourself,
as opposed to what I think happens a lot for
many of us in our communities. We wait until our
(33:20):
mental health has gotten to the point of the brink
of the on the edge, and then all of a
sudden we're like, Okay, now we need to do something ritual,
where as opposed to every day I'm actually trying to
cultivate something for my wellness. And that I love the
what you presented and shared. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
You're listening to Hella Black, Hella Queer. Hello, Christian.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
We're going to pause for a second, but don't go
too far. More of this conversation when we come back.
So now we're going to move into our rapid fire benediction.
Just eight quick questions and whatever comes up when I
pose the question, that's what you can share.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Sound.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
What are you looking forward to?
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Oh? What am I looking forward to? I am looking
forward to going to I at Kiska are commonly known
as the island of Hispaniola. I'm looking forward to going
back there because that is one of my ancestral homelands
that I feel really deeply at home with and connected to,
and so I'm really excited about that and looking forward
(34:47):
to it. I am excited.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I'm excited about this last quarter of the year. Whenever
it seems like whenever you hit the bird months and
it's kind of like the holiday season, special things happen.
What is one thing you like about yourself?
Speaker 3 (35:05):
Oh? I like that I have a lot of emotional
courage to own the difficult and not easy parts of myself.
I like that I am, I feel I am. I
feel like I am. And I've heard this consistently that
I'm not afraid of my quote unquote onwn ugly, and
(35:25):
I think that that is a part of myself that
I'm I've seen models from my grandmother and my father,
my mother that I'm really proud of, and I like that.
What about you?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I like the way I make sense of the world.
I like the way my mind works. Oh, I like
the way I like my mind's filing system.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
And when you say violencis you mean like, is that
that virgo in place where you organize everything neatly? Is
that what that is?
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I guess you could maybe not necessarily neatly, But I
just like the way that I make the way I
make things make sense for me. Heard, where are you
a year from today?
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Mmmm? A year from today, I would love to be
in a place where I'm consistently holding more beautiful spaces,
where my garden is flourishing, my literal garden. I love
to grow fruits and vegetables and herbs. It's something that's
very sustaining to me, and it keeps me in connection
with the land. And so I would say, a year
from today, I am doing the things that I love,
(36:28):
which is consistently holding healing space but also growing things,
and also being surrounded by the little ones in my
life who I love, and all the people in my
inner circle who keep me sustained so and a year today,
I want to be deeper into those roots and somewhere
in the somewhere in that, in that realm.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
But a year from today, I'm hoping to wrap up
season two of this podcast. A year from today, I'm
hoping to have had a summer with a lot more travel.
A year from today, I am hoping so the streams
of income that I lost when I was laid off
from my main job, I'm hoping that those streams of
(37:07):
income have been replaced by that. What are you thankful for?
Speaker 3 (37:11):
I'm thankful for I'm really thankful in this moment. I
would say for my friends and my community. I'm thankful
for my body. I'm thankful for my ancestors and my spirituality.
I'm thankful that I've had mentors and teachers who have
taught me about life and spirituality and spiritual practices that
have given me the strength to kind of navigate the
(37:33):
very difficult life to reign. And so I'm feeling really
grateful for them, even amidst all the challenges, I feel
really grateful for this life and the opportunity to serve
community through the lens of healing and wellness. So Yeah,
that's how I feel. What about you.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I'm thankful to have a good name, and I'm thankful
to have a name that I can cash in when
I need it. And I'm thankful that God has just
crafted me in my life in such a way to
where I'm someone that people don't mind helping. What are
you proud of?
Speaker 3 (38:08):
I'm proud of the relationships I have that have sustained
twenty thirty plus years. You know, I'm currently home in
my mother's house, mother and father's house, and I have
friends that I've been able to sustain through all the
up and downs, really great relationships, and I think I'm
proud of that. I'm proud. I'm proud that I've had
(38:29):
the skills and the support to cultivate the skills when
I didn't have them. I'm proud that I have people
that I know that really love me and care for
me and show up for me and have fun with
me and see me in all my foolishness and flaws.
I'm proud of that because I know it takes labor
to make that possible, and I put in a lot
of labor to make sure that I had a solid
inner circle. I'm definitely a person who I'm I say,
(38:52):
I'm not a wide social person. I'm more of an
insular social person, like you know, I pop up at
other places, but I'm very to the people that I
and I think that's something I'm proud about of the
contributions and commitments I've had to them and what they've
had to me.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
I'm proud of the way that I've navigated my alcohol
youse after the fast is over, and because like you know,
even today, like a lot of times I would sink,
like I would sink my listening to music to like
my alcohol youth. So and it's like I'm very big
on like anniversaries and people's birthdays and people passing away,
(39:30):
and it's kind of like I couldn't see myself kind
of like starting those anniversaries until after five because I
kind of had a I have a curfew to where
I don't drink before five pm. And then on what
is a thorn for you?
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Tell me more what you mean a thorn? What does
that mean? Like?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Just what's getting your goat? What's your petty pee? What
is something that is just rubbing you the wrong way
right now?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Oh, it's a good point.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Hmmm.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
I would say a thorn for me. I struggle with
the very human reality that some of us can have
significant blocks and myself, all of us included, have significant
blocks on how we psychological blocks on how we perpetuate
(40:23):
the very things we say we don't want. You know,
it is a difficult thing for me to be in
deep community with you know, beautiful people who have those blocks,
and it's a growing point for me in terms of compassion,
because we all have a you know, there's a broad
there's a gap between our practice and our theory for
all of us to some extent. But I think sometimes
(40:43):
when I come across people who have those wide, those
wide distinctions and are very unclear about them, it can
be very activating for me because I'm just like, Okay,
now I have to navigate this. And I think that
that's a thorn for me. It's a little icky point
because it's something I work so rigorously on myself and
(41:04):
don't get right all the time either and fail. But
it's something that I'm always mindful of, you know, the
lack of compassion, the lack of the more the big
blocks and like self perception and the unwillingness to be
a self perceptive around how you might perpetuate a thing
that you say you don't want you know about you.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
So a thorn for me. Something that just really kind
of has my attention right now is of course, how
these HBCUs are having to go on lockdown because people
are choosing to express their grief for the assassination of
(41:48):
Charlie Kirk by attacking HBCUs and by phoning in thretch
to HBCUs. What is giving you joy?
Speaker 3 (41:57):
What's giving me joy? Well, it's giving me joy lately.
My nephew Mason just turned three yesterday. That gives me
a lot of joy. He's so precious. And I got
I got a chance to spend time with my niece
who is five years old be six next month, and
we did. We played soccer, which she beat me in,
(42:18):
and then we also read some books together, some books
I sent to her because I love to share books
with my little ones. So all my little ones are
bringing me a lot of joy. I enjoy the actor
being a nurturer, but also having little people in my
life really means a lot to me, and they bring
me a lot of joy.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
The public library is bringing me joy right now, And
I really do want to shout out the DC Public Library.
I I am just I think DC has a wonderful
public library system that offers a myriad of community events
and offers for a myriad of ways for community to
(42:54):
come together in ways that I'm really proud of. And
I've kind of gotten back into kind of like the
childhood joy of like actually checking out books from the
library and not always feeling the need to buy books.
So and then it's like I've recently gotten into like
reading two books at a time. So right now I
(43:16):
checked out Tony Morrison's The Source of Self Regard, and
then I'm pairing that with the price of the ticket,
which is the collection, which is a bound collection of
James Baldwin's nonfiction work from nineteen forty eight to nineteen
eighty five. And I was actually able to pick that
(43:38):
up from a little free library on my block. So
whether it's the d the formal DC Public Library, or
whether it's the little free libraries on my block, the
public library.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Gives me joy.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
And this actually beats into my final question because it
gives me hope because many of because it seems like
the live public library is one of the last places
of resistance within this moment. So what's given you hope?
Speaker 3 (44:13):
What's giving me hope? I think the resistance has given
me hope. I you know, I'm grateful that I'm in
connection with healers and organizers and disruptors around the world,
and I see people fighting back every single day. I
see people resisting and making new systems to care for
our folks. I see people rejecting dominant frameworks. And it
(44:34):
gives me hope because I know there will always be
a fight, that we are not going down without a fight,
that we've been fighting since we were forcibly brought to
this land. And I am embold in by the fact
that we will have many wins and have had many
wins against this tide of you know, hate based trauma,
like you know what I mean, Like all the pieces
that we have come from these folks. So if it
(44:55):
gives me a lot of hope because I know that
we want to fight back, and I know we're gonna
I know it's always going to be a challeng but
I know there will always be a resistance, and that
gives me hope.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Excellent, excellent, thanks for sticking with Hella Black, Hella Queer. Hello, Christian,
if you don't mind, with the time that we have left,
I would love to close out this episode by us
(45:26):
being together in prayer with our spiritual commonalities and maybe
even some of our spiritual differences. So I'm going to
ask is during this time, is there anything that you
would like to intentionally lift.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
Up in prayer? Hm, that's a great question. Anything I
want to intentional listen from prayer? Oh? Well, you know,
I think of prayer as one piece and I think
of also I think a lot. For me, it's a
lot of affirmations and as one form of prayer. And
you know, I think in this moment, I'm just I'm
(46:02):
just calling on all of us to to heed, to hear,
to listen, to lean into the knowledge and not of
our just of our ancestors, of the knowledge of the land,
knowledge of spirit as a tool to help alchemize, transform,
and transmute the spirit of disconnection and hatred and hurt
(46:23):
that has taken over this planet in so many different ways.
And so I'm calling on more of us to lean
into our lineages. I'm calling on more of us to
lean into our ancestors, faith and resistance traditions, And I'm
calling more of us to understand that we have the
power to heal, we have the power to reimagine. We
don't have to be held hostage to the short sighted
(46:45):
and fear based visions that these men and people and
power have tried to propagate. And so I'm calling into
us remembrance. I'm calling into us our sacred power. Yeah,
and I'm calling I'm calling ancestors. That's what I'm calling
in as a prayer and an affirmation.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Okay, So first I'm hearing a return to praying that
we would return to ourselves. That's really what I'm hearing
you saying. And then for me, I I'm gonna ask
that we intentionally pray pray for our HPC used. I
am gonna intentionally I asked that we intentionally pray for
(47:26):
a little nas X. And I'm also asking that we
intentionally pray for Billy Porter, who's been having a rough moment.
And then it was just announced that the production of
Cavaret that he was starring in is closing early and
he's also having a some some health challenges. He's having
(47:48):
a h A, he's he's come down with with sepsist
so so so we're praying for a return to ourselves.
We're praying for our HBC used, praying for a Little
no Ex and praying for Billy Porter. Dear God, we
love you, precious and wonderful Holy Spirit. We love you, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
We love you.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
God in all of your names. We love you, and
we just come before you, thanking you for this time,
Thanking you for season one of Hello Black, Hello Queer,
Hello Christians. Thank you for the wonderful conversations that we've
been able to have, and thank you for bringing us
(48:36):
back around to wellness. Thank you for my friend Yolo.
Thank you for the time that they took with us today,
thank you for the wisdom that they shared, and thank
you in advance for the ways that this episode is
going to reach who it needs to reach, and it's
(48:56):
going to help somebody. Lord, we come lifting up our brother,
your child, Montero Hill, who we know as Little knas Ex. Lord.
We don't know, we don't need to know, but you
(49:20):
know what you know, and you know what needs to
be known, and we are asking that you would step
in and that you would be a healer, that you
would be an advocate, and that you would be his
vindication in this hour we lift up our brother, our elder,
(49:44):
our pioneer, our trailblazer, Billy Porter, be a doctor in
the sick room for him right now. Once again, we
don't know everything, and we do not need to know everything,
but you know, and you know what needs to be known.
You know what needs to be done. And not only
(50:08):
do you know, not only are you willing, but you
are more than able. For you are Alpha and omega.
You are the beginning and the end. You are the
author and the finisher and the source of all things.
All power is in your hand. And we just stand
(50:32):
in this space and we declare your might, your power,
your capability. But we also proclaim your goodness, your grace,
your mercy, and your love for these individuals and for
us as black, queer and transmen. And then, lastly, God,
(50:54):
we lift up our HBCUs be a hedge around historically
black colleges and universities, especially in this moment where bloodshed
is being being met with the threat of more bloodshed,
(51:16):
where we are holding on to hate because we're too
scared to make the move toward love. And then, finally, God,
we ask that you would return us to ourselves, bring
us back into our right minds. Bring us back, help
(51:42):
us to take back, Help us to pick back up
the tools that we know to use. Because many of
us we know what to do, we just refuse to
do it, and we're just a lie, allowing ourselves to
get sidetracked by our vices and by the whirlwind speed
(52:06):
of the world. But God, help us to pick back up,
pick back up our tools. Help us to return to
our systems of knowing, Help us to return to our
communities and our institutions of belonging. We've got the power,
(52:28):
we just need to take it off the shelf, dust
it off, and we need to work the work all
of this. I pray in all of your names, but
I will specifically call on the name Jesus, a man.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
A man, and Amen, Amen. I love that. Now give
a shared that, Joseph. That was beautiful.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
You're welcome. So with that, that wraps up season one
of Hella Black, Hello Queer, Hello Christian Everyday. Don't have
news yet on when season two will be coming, but
we believe that it will be coming soon, and just
continue to pray and put good energy toward that. But
even in the meantime, while we're waiting for season two
(53:17):
to begin You all can still find me at Joseph
they them on Instagram, on Blue Scott on threads, and
you can still email me Joseph Freese at iHeartMedia dot com.
Would love to hear from you and would love to
hear how Season one of this podcast was a blessing
to you and then Yolo, how can people find you
(53:38):
and the work.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
That you're doing? Absolutely excuse me. You can follow me
at Yolo Achille y O l O A K I
l I on Instagram. You can also find an organization
Beam org It's underscore beam org, or you can look
at Beam dot community. It is not a dot com,
it is a dot community. So Beam as an array
of lights dot com unity. You can find tools and
(54:01):
resources for your healing and mental health journey, as well
as in person and virtual events to find and cultivate community.
Speaker 2 (54:09):
Amen. So with that, I will see you all the
next time. Hella Black, Hello Queer, Hello Christian is a
production of iHeartMedia on the Outspoken Slate, which seeks to
amplify LGBTQ voices in podcasting. I am your host and
(54:30):
executive creative producer, Joseph Freese, along with Gabrielle Collins, who
also serves as executive producer. Dylan you Are is a producer.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Trevle is our lead producer and editor.
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