October 11, 2023 • 10 mins
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:23):
a Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you
call me with yours situation and I try to help
you come up with the right solution. Today, we're going
to listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma says I have a dilemma and I need
your advice. Delilah, one of my best friends, just went
(00:44):
through a nasty breakup with her boyfriend. Now she doesn't
see anything good about herself. She feels like she's not
beautiful and only has flaws, and even worse, she wants
to cut herself. She's done it before, and I really
don't want her to harm herself anymore. She's one of
(01:05):
my best friends and always brightens up my days. She
has an amazing personality, a great sense of humor, and
deep down inside, I know she's one of the most
beautiful people around, but she just doesn't see it. I
don't know what to do or say to convince her,
and I don't want to accidentally say something wrong. Please help.
(01:26):
It hurts me to see her suffer, and I don't
know what to say or to do. I fear for
her safety. Thank you so much. From Jane, not my
real name, Jane, not your real name. I will have
my mother Delilah advice for you coming up next. Tonight's
(01:48):
Delilah's Dilemma is from a young woman whose best friend
went through a breakup and she deals with her pain
the way a lot of young women do by cutting,
and Jane wants to know what to say or do
to help. If you're truly afraid for her safety, if
this isn't something that is she does that is not dangerous.
(02:12):
If you're truly afraid for her safety, you must speak up.
You must let an adult know that you are afraid
for her safety. If she is suicidal, if she is
that depressed, you must speak up, even if she gets
mad at you, even if it costs you her friendship.
(02:33):
You may save her life. And you have to do that.
You have to, And I know it's so hard. I've
had to do that with friends that I dearly, dearly loved.
I had to make really tough choices and say you
may never speak to me again, but that's okay, because
you'll be alive. That said, how do you help somebody
(02:54):
who is depressed from a breakup? You help them cry,
You help them cry, you hold their hand, you hold
their head, you give them a shoulder to cry on.
You don't say you'll get over it. He's not worth it.
Blah blah blah. You say, I am here for you
(03:15):
as you cry your tears, and I will be here
for you as we walk through this pain together, and
we will come out on the other side stronger. And
you help them cry, And in time, when her tears
begin to dry, hopefully her eyes will seem more clearly
(03:36):
the beauty that God has placed in her soul. But
right now her heart is broken and she needs a
friend to help her cry. This is the letter that
I received from Tina. She says, my friend Mike and
(03:57):
I have been friends since high school, over twenty one
years now. I had a wicked crush on him, and
while we never actually really dated, we did remain good
friends of her all these years. Okay, maybe he broke
my heart in high school, but that's in the past.
Over the years anytime he was in town. We went
out to dinner. We had drinks, nothing serious, two friends
(04:17):
having fun. About two years ago, he met the woman
who would be his future wife, but still Mike and
I remained in touch. Only recently I was told by
his best friend that Mike wants me to stop pressuring
him and to leave him alone. He's now involved with
this new girl. I was a bit shocked, and I
backed off a little. Only with birthdays in a Christmas card.
(04:41):
Did I contact him? When I heard of his engagement.
I sent my congratulations to him. I never met his
future wife. I tried on several occasions to be your
friend on Facebook, but I was ignored. I sent her
a congratulations email when I heard of their engagement, and
I never got a response. Told that she doesn't care
for me. I don't know or understand why, but I
(05:04):
think someone's telling her lies about me. My question is
that I believe that Mike has no idea that she
doesn't like me. Should I tell him about these accusations
and on what I was told she feels towards me?
What about a wedding gift? Mike and I have been
friends for twenty one years. Do I send a gift.
What kind of gift do I throw away a twenty
(05:26):
one year friendship because his wife doesn't like his old friend?
Should I confront her? From Tina, I will be back
with my de la la input. Stay tuned for that
coming up next. I received this letter from Tina, and
(05:51):
right up front, I'm going to say Tina needs you,
she needs your support. Okay, are you ready? Tina? You
are not throwing away a twenty year friendship. If he
has told you that he wants you to stop contacting him,
he's the one in the twenty one year friendship, and
you can't force someone to continue to be your friend.
(06:15):
You said that you had a crush on him back
in high school and he broke your heart, and you
have continued to be his friend. But if he is
not invested in your relationship, if he doesn't care to
reach out and continue contacting you and talking to you,
you can't make him want that, and you can't make
(06:35):
his fiance like you. If she chooses not to know
you or not to have a relationship with you, that
is her choice. And if he chooses to end his
friendship with you because of whatever reason, that's his choice.
And you don't get to change that. If he wants
to continue in a relationship with you, a friendship with you,
(06:57):
he will contact you and let you know. But in
the meantime, all you can do is let go and
let God and wish them well. You can't fix it,
you can't change it, you can't manipulate it. Why would
you confront her, you don't even know her. Let it go,
Put it in God's hands, and my God work it up.
(07:24):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma, says, where do I begin? I have stepchildren,
three of them. The mother of these children is trying
to poison their minds to dislike me. What would you do, Delilah?
Their mother has personal issues with me and is doing
nothing but causing hatred and discontent because she doesn't want
(07:46):
her kids to like me. I have been with these
children since they were three and four years old. We've
gotten a long up until a year ago. I went
to their school functions, I took care of them when
they were sick, I read to them, I bitd with them,
I did all the family fun things with them. Now
one of them hates me. How do I handle this?
(08:08):
You have dealt with so many personalities do you have
anything to offer for advice? I'm at my wits end
and i don't know what to do anymore. I love
my husband, he doesn't know what to do either. My
stepdaughter is eleven, and I'm afraid she will in turn
poisoned the other two. Once again, do you have any advice?
(08:29):
Signed a not so wicked stepmother? Oh, I will have
my words of love for you. Coming up next. Tonight's
Delilah's dilemma is from a mom, a stepmom who's been
raising her three step children, and because their biological mother
(08:51):
is bitter and resentful, she is turning the children against
this woman who loves them. Here's what you do. You
keep doing what you have all done. You be honest,
You be truthful, you be loving, and you do not,
under any circumstances, step into this fight. If you stay
out of the arena, you can't get in a boxing match.
(09:14):
This mom is jealous and bitter and resentful, and she
does not want her children liking you or loving you,
so she will try to turn them against you. However,
the love, the tears, the prayers, the baking, the biking,
the hours you have invested in these children will in
(09:35):
time produce good fruits, but not while a child is
going through puberty. I'm afraid, at least that's not my experience.
When kids are going through that physical and emotional change
and they're discombobulated, they need authority and they need direction
(09:56):
and they need boundaries, but they don't want it. I
want freedom. They want to be crazy little monsters sometimes.
So if this child is looking to the mom to
give her permission to not have to follow rules or
be respectful, she's going to resent the mom. That's setting
(10:16):
healthy boundaries. That's the way it works. You keep doing
what you're doing, and do not engage, and do not
take it personally, and do not get in the arena
and argue. Just keep loving, Keep loving, as hard as
that's going to be the next few years, Keep loving, Okay.
(10:40):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah. Do
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:23):
a Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you
call me with yours situation and I try to help
you come up with the right solution. Today, we're going
to listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma says I have a dilemma and I need
your advice. Delilah, one of my best friends, just went
(00:44):
through a nasty breakup with her boyfriend. Now she doesn't
see anything good about herself. She feels like she's not
beautiful and only has flaws, and even worse, she wants
to cut herself. She's done it before, and I really
don't want her to harm herself anymore. She's one of
(01:05):
my best friends and always brightens up my days. She
has an amazing personality, a great sense of humor, and
deep down inside, I know she's one of the most
beautiful people around, but she just doesn't see it. I
don't know what to do or say to convince her,
and I don't want to accidentally say something wrong. Please help.
(01:26):
It hurts me to see her suffer, and I don't
know what to say or to do. I fear for
her safety. Thank you so much. From Jane, not my
real name, Jane, not your real name. I will have
my mother Delilah advice for you coming up next. Tonight's
(01:48):
Delilah's Dilemma is from a young woman whose best friend
went through a breakup and she deals with her pain
the way a lot of young women do by cutting,
and Jane wants to know what to say or do
to help. If you're truly afraid for her safety, if
this isn't something that is she does that is not dangerous.
(02:12):
If you're truly afraid for her safety, you must speak up.
You must let an adult know that you are afraid
for her safety. If she is suicidal, if she is
that depressed, you must speak up, even if she gets
mad at you, even if it costs you her friendship.
(02:33):
You may save her life. And you have to do that.
You have to, And I know it's so hard. I've
had to do that with friends that I dearly, dearly loved.
I had to make really tough choices and say you
may never speak to me again, but that's okay, because
you'll be alive. That said, how do you help somebody
(02:54):
who is depressed from a breakup? You help them cry,
You help them cry, you hold their hand, you hold
their head, you give them a shoulder to cry on.
You don't say you'll get over it. He's not worth it.
Blah blah blah. You say, I am here for you
(03:15):
as you cry your tears, and I will be here
for you as we walk through this pain together, and
we will come out on the other side stronger. And
you help them cry, And in time, when her tears
begin to dry, hopefully her eyes will seem more clearly
(03:36):
the beauty that God has placed in her soul. But
right now her heart is broken and she needs a
friend to help her cry. This is the letter that
I received from Tina. She says, my friend Mike and
(03:57):
I have been friends since high school, over twenty one
years now. I had a wicked crush on him, and
while we never actually really dated, we did remain good
friends of her all these years. Okay, maybe he broke
my heart in high school, but that's in the past.
Over the years anytime he was in town. We went
out to dinner. We had drinks, nothing serious, two friends
(04:17):
having fun. About two years ago, he met the woman
who would be his future wife, but still Mike and
I remained in touch. Only recently I was told by
his best friend that Mike wants me to stop pressuring
him and to leave him alone. He's now involved with
this new girl. I was a bit shocked, and I
backed off a little. Only with birthdays in a Christmas card.
(04:41):
Did I contact him? When I heard of his engagement.
I sent my congratulations to him. I never met his
future wife. I tried on several occasions to be your
friend on Facebook, but I was ignored. I sent her
a congratulations email when I heard of their engagement, and
I never got a response. Told that she doesn't care
for me. I don't know or understand why, but I
(05:04):
think someone's telling her lies about me. My question is
that I believe that Mike has no idea that she
doesn't like me. Should I tell him about these accusations
and on what I was told she feels towards me?
What about a wedding gift? Mike and I have been
friends for twenty one years. Do I send a gift.
What kind of gift do I throw away a twenty
(05:26):
one year friendship because his wife doesn't like his old friend?
Should I confront her? From Tina, I will be back
with my de la la input. Stay tuned for that
coming up next. I received this letter from Tina, and
(05:51):
right up front, I'm going to say Tina needs you,
she needs your support. Okay, are you ready? Tina? You
are not throwing away a twenty year friendship. If he
has told you that he wants you to stop contacting him,
he's the one in the twenty one year friendship, and
you can't force someone to continue to be your friend.
(06:15):
You said that you had a crush on him back
in high school and he broke your heart, and you
have continued to be his friend. But if he is
not invested in your relationship, if he doesn't care to
reach out and continue contacting you and talking to you,
you can't make him want that, and you can't make
(06:35):
his fiance like you. If she chooses not to know
you or not to have a relationship with you, that
is her choice. And if he chooses to end his
friendship with you because of whatever reason, that's his choice.
And you don't get to change that. If he wants
to continue in a relationship with you, a friendship with you,
(06:57):
he will contact you and let you know. But in
the meantime, all you can do is let go and
let God and wish them well. You can't fix it,
you can't change it, you can't manipulate it. Why would
you confront her, you don't even know her. Let it go,
Put it in God's hands, and my God work it up.
(07:24):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma, says, where do I begin? I have stepchildren,
three of them. The mother of these children is trying
to poison their minds to dislike me. What would you do, Delilah?
Their mother has personal issues with me and is doing
nothing but causing hatred and discontent because she doesn't want
(07:46):
her kids to like me. I have been with these
children since they were three and four years old. We've
gotten a long up until a year ago. I went
to their school functions, I took care of them when
they were sick, I read to them, I bitd with them,
I did all the family fun things with them. Now
one of them hates me. How do I handle this?
(08:08):
You have dealt with so many personalities do you have
anything to offer for advice? I'm at my wits end
and i don't know what to do anymore. I love
my husband, he doesn't know what to do either. My
stepdaughter is eleven, and I'm afraid she will in turn
poisoned the other two. Once again, do you have any advice?
(08:29):
Signed a not so wicked stepmother? Oh, I will have
my words of love for you. Coming up next. Tonight's
Delilah's dilemma is from a mom, a stepmom who's been
raising her three step children, and because their biological mother
(08:51):
is bitter and resentful, she is turning the children against
this woman who loves them. Here's what you do. You
keep doing what you have all done. You be honest,
You be truthful, you be loving, and you do not,
under any circumstances, step into this fight. If you stay
out of the arena, you can't get in a boxing match.
(09:14):
This mom is jealous and bitter and resentful, and she
does not want her children liking you or loving you,
so she will try to turn them against you. However,
the love, the tears, the prayers, the baking, the biking,
the hours you have invested in these children will in
(09:35):
time produce good fruits, but not while a child is
going through puberty. I'm afraid, at least that's not my experience.
When kids are going through that physical and emotional change
and they're discombobulated, they need authority and they need direction
(09:56):
and they need boundaries, but they don't want it. I
want freedom. They want to be crazy little monsters sometimes.
So if this child is looking to the mom to
give her permission to not have to follow rules or
be respectful, she's going to resent the mom. That's setting
(10:16):
healthy boundaries. That's the way it works. You keep doing
what you're doing, and do not engage, and do not
take it personally, and do not get in the arena
and argue. Just keep loving, Keep loving, as hard as
that's going to be the next few years, Keep loving, Okay.
(10:40):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah. Do
Host
Delilah
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!