January 15, 2025 • 11 mins
A "magnet for abusive partners", an addict trying to get clean, and a recent widow... all struggling in their own way. All have my encouragement and support. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Welcome, my friend.
I'm so glad that you have found us. Is this
(00:22):
your first time here and you're thinking to yourself, Gosh,
Delilah is so nice. Trust me, I'm not always that nice.
Those of you who've been listening for years you know
that truth. But I am here for you. I'm here
to talk with you. I'm here to listen to you.
And even though I can't always take good advice, I
(00:45):
have a lot of experience and I've made a lot
of mistakes, so I can give you some good advice
pretty much based on what not to do. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Sarah, who says, I have a dilemma.
I am the mother of young adult children, and I
am a magnet for toxic, abusive men. I've been in
(01:07):
three long term relationships, each time waiting for them to
become better men, and they never did. My father moved
away when I was eight, and he went to raise
another woman's children and had very little contact with me
over the years. Now he has Alzheimer's disease has trouble
(01:27):
even remembering me, and I have been asked to go
take care of him. I've been in and out of
so many toxic relationships, each time leaving with less than
I came with that I'm now down to owning a
car and the clothes I can carry. So I'm tempted
to do this because part of me hopes it could
(01:49):
help me heal and at the same time get back
on my feet. Another part of me is afraid, and
I'm just going back to the first toxic man in
my life. What do you think, Ah, Sarah? I will
have my words of advice for you coming up next.
(02:13):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Sarah. Sarah who has been
in three long terms and relationships with men who've abused her.
Now the first person who abused her and disappointed her
has Alzheimer's and it looks like family wants to dump
him on her, and she's thinking about going and taking
care of him. Sarah, how is that going to help
(02:37):
you heal at all? How is going and caring for
somebody who abandoned you going to help heal your heart?
That's like going back to pet and alligator that bit
your leg off. Come on, you need to forgive him.
You definitely need to forgive your father and let go
(02:59):
of the fact that he abandoned you and went to
raise somebody else's children. But you do not need to
put yourself in a situation where you're just going to
get knocked down again. How is that going to help
you get back on your feet. I don't know who
is asking this of you, but if he's not been
a part of your life, if he didn't raise you,
if he hasn't been connected to you, let the people
(03:22):
that he was connected to and has a relationship with
care for him. That's not your responsibility. What you need
to do now that you're down to a car in
the clothes on your back, is figure out why you're
broken and how to fix it. Your letter said you
(03:42):
stayed in relationship waiting for them to become better men,
and they never did. When somebody shows you by their
actions who they are, believe them, don't try to change them.
When somebody shows you that they don't respect you, believe
them and get away from him. Get the heck away
(04:04):
from them. I heard somebody say today, you can't change
the people around you. But you can change the people
that surround you. You're not going to change somebody who
is abusive or disrespectful, but you can change and get
away from them and surround yourself with healthy people. Surround
(04:28):
yourself with people who don't need drama and trauma and
drugs and alcohol and meth and crack and all the
other garbage that goes with that. But you need to
heal yourself. You need to heal your heart. Good luck
and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is somebody who
(04:58):
readily admits that they are an addict. They say, Hi, Delilah,
I listen to your station every night, and you feel
like a friend. I've been struggling with a heroin addiction
for twelve years and just recently got clean by using vivitrol,
a medication that helps to block the effects of opiates.
It seems to be working. However, just getting off the
(05:22):
drug isn't the only battle. Like most addicts, I've isolated
myself for all the years I was using, and now
I find I don't have friends or even a support system,
and I feel very alone. Do you have any words
of advice for me? Yes, yes I do, Amy, and
(05:42):
I will share those words coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Amy, who readily admit she's an addict
has been battling heroin addiction for twelve years. First off, Amy,
I want to say God bless you and thank you
for being courageous and brave enough to be honest. A
(06:05):
lot of people listening the minute they heard battling a
heroin addiction judged you because they think that that addictions
happen to other people. They don't understand that all of
us have battles and struggles, and addiction happens to so
many people, myself included. So first off, thank you for
(06:27):
your bravery and thank you for your honesty. Second off,
you say I don't have any friends or a support system,
and I feel very alone. If you go online and
look up and in a meeting, you will find one
Tonight in your town. If there's not one Tonight in
your town, there is one Tonight online. There's hundreds Tonight online,
(06:52):
and there you will find friends. More importantly, there you
will find support and unconditional love. You will find other
men and women who have battled heroin addiction. Cocaine addiction,
meth addiction, whatever the drug of choice is, and you
have one thing in common, and that is that you
(07:14):
want to get better. That you want to get better,
that you want your life to be better. And like
you said, it isn't just getting off the drugs, it's
learning to live a new life, a new life where
you open your heart, where you open your mind to
possibilities and opportunities, You open yourself up to love, to
caring about others, to being intimately connected instead of shut
(07:37):
off hiding behind your addiction. So please find your way
to an NA meeting and please find a sponsor. And
for me, the most important part of my recovery is
my faith, having people that encourage me and my faith.
(07:58):
That's what's made my life amazing the last what thirty
six years since since I hit rock bottom with my problems.
So please find somebody who has a strong faith that
you can lean on and learn from. Good luck and
God bless you. And again I'm so proud of you.
(08:19):
Amy Linda writes, I've been listening to your show for
thirteen years. Please keep up the good work. I lost
my husband of forty eight years very suddenly last year
due to lung cancer, and it's been a rough year
for me. Neighbors who were friendly with seem suddenly to
(08:43):
avoid me. I'm kind of shy and quiet. My husband
was the more outgoing of the two of us, and
I feel very alone. I don't understand why people behave
this way. I've continued to belong to a few clubs
to keep busy. Why do people ignore or those of
us who are widowed. I just don't get it. Do
(09:03):
you have any suggestions for me? I do, Linda, and
I will share my words coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Linda, who was married for forty eight years,
almost half a century, and lost her husband very suddenly,
(09:27):
and now she says that people that used to be
friendly are ignoring her. Linda, it's not that they are
ignoring you, It's that they are uncomfortable setting with you
in the midst of your sorrow. Our culture does not
teach people. I was never taught this. I never learned
(09:48):
this how to set with somebody and hold space for
them in their grief and sorrow. We feel like we
have to fill up the space with words, and there
are no w You were loved and cared for and
in a relationship for almost half a century, and that
(10:09):
loss is immense, and people don't know how to just
sit and be with you without trying to make you happy,
knowing that your heart has been ripped in half. So
do I have any suggestions for you? Find a group,
(10:29):
a support group for widows or for people who have
lost loved ones. When I lost my boys, I've lost
two sons and my stepson, so between my husband and
I in a ten year period, less than that an
eight year period, we lost three children, and all of
a sudden, people got weird around us. And I found
(10:51):
a support group in my area for people who've lost children,
and that made all the difference in the world, having
a place I could go and cry and share and
share my feelings without making other people uncomfortable because they're
going through grief as well. And we helped each other.
(11:12):
Find a support group in your area or online for widows,
find some people or someone that is not uncomfortable with
your grief that can walk you down this path of sorrow.
(11:32):
And I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah Lo
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Welcome, my friend.
I'm so glad that you have found us. Is this
(00:22):
your first time here and you're thinking to yourself, Gosh,
Delilah is so nice. Trust me, I'm not always that nice.
Those of you who've been listening for years you know
that truth. But I am here for you. I'm here
to talk with you. I'm here to listen to you.
And even though I can't always take good advice, I
(00:45):
have a lot of experience and I've made a lot
of mistakes, so I can give you some good advice
pretty much based on what not to do. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Sarah, who says, I have a dilemma.
I am the mother of young adult children, and I
am a magnet for toxic, abusive men. I've been in
(01:07):
three long term relationships, each time waiting for them to
become better men, and they never did. My father moved
away when I was eight, and he went to raise
another woman's children and had very little contact with me
over the years. Now he has Alzheimer's disease has trouble
(01:27):
even remembering me, and I have been asked to go
take care of him. I've been in and out of
so many toxic relationships, each time leaving with less than
I came with that I'm now down to owning a
car and the clothes I can carry. So I'm tempted
to do this because part of me hopes it could
(01:49):
help me heal and at the same time get back
on my feet. Another part of me is afraid, and
I'm just going back to the first toxic man in
my life. What do you think, Ah, Sarah? I will
have my words of advice for you coming up next.
(02:13):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Sarah. Sarah who has been
in three long terms and relationships with men who've abused her.
Now the first person who abused her and disappointed her
has Alzheimer's and it looks like family wants to dump
him on her, and she's thinking about going and taking
care of him. Sarah, how is that going to help
(02:37):
you heal at all? How is going and caring for
somebody who abandoned you going to help heal your heart?
That's like going back to pet and alligator that bit
your leg off. Come on, you need to forgive him.
You definitely need to forgive your father and let go
(02:59):
of the fact that he abandoned you and went to
raise somebody else's children. But you do not need to
put yourself in a situation where you're just going to
get knocked down again. How is that going to help
you get back on your feet. I don't know who
is asking this of you, but if he's not been
a part of your life, if he didn't raise you,
if he hasn't been connected to you, let the people
(03:22):
that he was connected to and has a relationship with
care for him. That's not your responsibility. What you need
to do now that you're down to a car in
the clothes on your back, is figure out why you're
broken and how to fix it. Your letter said you
(03:42):
stayed in relationship waiting for them to become better men,
and they never did. When somebody shows you by their
actions who they are, believe them, don't try to change them.
When somebody shows you that they don't respect you, believe
them and get away from him. Get the heck away
(04:04):
from them. I heard somebody say today, you can't change
the people around you. But you can change the people
that surround you. You're not going to change somebody who
is abusive or disrespectful, but you can change and get
away from them and surround yourself with healthy people. Surround
(04:28):
yourself with people who don't need drama and trauma and
drugs and alcohol and meth and crack and all the
other garbage that goes with that. But you need to
heal yourself. You need to heal your heart. Good luck
and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is somebody who
(04:58):
readily admits that they are an addict. They say, Hi, Delilah,
I listen to your station every night, and you feel
like a friend. I've been struggling with a heroin addiction
for twelve years and just recently got clean by using vivitrol,
a medication that helps to block the effects of opiates.
It seems to be working. However, just getting off the
(05:22):
drug isn't the only battle. Like most addicts, I've isolated
myself for all the years I was using, and now
I find I don't have friends or even a support system,
and I feel very alone. Do you have any words
of advice for me? Yes, yes I do, Amy, and
(05:42):
I will share those words coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Amy, who readily admit she's an addict
has been battling heroin addiction for twelve years. First off, Amy,
I want to say God bless you and thank you
for being courageous and brave enough to be honest. A
(06:05):
lot of people listening the minute they heard battling a
heroin addiction judged you because they think that that addictions
happen to other people. They don't understand that all of
us have battles and struggles, and addiction happens to so
many people, myself included. So first off, thank you for
(06:27):
your bravery and thank you for your honesty. Second off,
you say I don't have any friends or a support system,
and I feel very alone. If you go online and
look up and in a meeting, you will find one
Tonight in your town. If there's not one Tonight in
your town, there is one Tonight online. There's hundreds Tonight online,
(06:52):
and there you will find friends. More importantly, there you
will find support and unconditional love. You will find other
men and women who have battled heroin addiction. Cocaine addiction,
meth addiction, whatever the drug of choice is, and you
have one thing in common, and that is that you
(07:14):
want to get better. That you want to get better,
that you want your life to be better. And like
you said, it isn't just getting off the drugs, it's
learning to live a new life, a new life where
you open your heart, where you open your mind to
possibilities and opportunities, You open yourself up to love, to
caring about others, to being intimately connected instead of shut
(07:37):
off hiding behind your addiction. So please find your way
to an NA meeting and please find a sponsor. And
for me, the most important part of my recovery is
my faith, having people that encourage me and my faith.
(07:58):
That's what's made my life amazing the last what thirty
six years since since I hit rock bottom with my problems.
So please find somebody who has a strong faith that
you can lean on and learn from. Good luck and
God bless you. And again I'm so proud of you.
(08:19):
Amy Linda writes, I've been listening to your show for
thirteen years. Please keep up the good work. I lost
my husband of forty eight years very suddenly last year
due to lung cancer, and it's been a rough year
for me. Neighbors who were friendly with seem suddenly to
(08:43):
avoid me. I'm kind of shy and quiet. My husband
was the more outgoing of the two of us, and
I feel very alone. I don't understand why people behave
this way. I've continued to belong to a few clubs
to keep busy. Why do people ignore or those of
us who are widowed. I just don't get it. Do
(09:03):
you have any suggestions for me? I do, Linda, and
I will share my words coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Linda, who was married for forty eight years,
almost half a century, and lost her husband very suddenly,
(09:27):
and now she says that people that used to be
friendly are ignoring her. Linda, it's not that they are
ignoring you, It's that they are uncomfortable setting with you
in the midst of your sorrow. Our culture does not
teach people. I was never taught this. I never learned
(09:48):
this how to set with somebody and hold space for
them in their grief and sorrow. We feel like we
have to fill up the space with words, and there
are no w You were loved and cared for and
in a relationship for almost half a century, and that
(10:09):
loss is immense, and people don't know how to just
sit and be with you without trying to make you happy,
knowing that your heart has been ripped in half. So
do I have any suggestions for you? Find a group,
(10:29):
a support group for widows or for people who have
lost loved ones. When I lost my boys, I've lost
two sons and my stepson, so between my husband and
I in a ten year period, less than that an
eight year period, we lost three children, and all of
a sudden, people got weird around us. And I found
(10:51):
a support group in my area for people who've lost children,
and that made all the difference in the world, having
a place I could go and cry and share and
share my feelings without making other people uncomfortable because they're
going through grief as well. And we helped each other.
(11:12):
Find a support group in your area or online for widows,
find some people or someone that is not uncomfortable with
your grief that can walk you down this path of sorrow.
(11:32):
And I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah Lo
Host
Delilah
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