August 21, 2024 • 10 mins
In need of an exit strategy? Let's work on one together! ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Do Love. Hey
it's Delilah. Come on in and make yourself at home
as we share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's
(00:27):
dilemmas when people get themselves into a bind, into a mess,
and need a little wisdom to find their way out.
Stay tuned for that coming up next. I received this
letter from a young man named Lemuel. He says, I'm
twenty one years old, raised by a single mom. I
(00:48):
made my own promise to myself not to date until
I was twenty three. This is because I'm afraid that
if I someday fell in love and then divorced orated,
I might put a woman into long term suffering, just
like my father did to my mom. In short, I
just want to make sure I will be mature enough
(01:10):
to take on the responsibility of loving one woman for
my entire lifetime. I've never dated, but not long ago,
I met an awesome lady. She was my student, and
by the time of her graduation from college, she had
swept me off my feet. I was sure I had
met the woman of my life, but not yet sure
(01:33):
if I was ready for her. I have not asked
her out. I met another lady about a month ago
on a business call. By the time she left, we
had exchanged cell phone numbers. She called me the next
day in a relationship has been blossoming. She helps me
in the office, she brings me lunch. She's an amazing lady.
But I have not dated her either. I have always
(01:55):
kept my word. I'm just unsure whether I should break
this twenty three three year old embargo in order to date.
Should I break the promise I made to myself. I
have two ladies that I have feelings for. I would
only need one of them, and now I can't decide
which one. Have you got some advice? I really need
(02:16):
some le mule. I will be back with my mother
Delilah insight coming up in just a moment. Tonight's letter
comes from a young man who had made a commitment
to himself not to date until he was twenty three.
That was the arbitrary number he chose, thinking at that
(02:38):
point everything would become crystal clear, And at twenty one
he finds himself attracted to two different women both that
he cares about, but neither one that he is dating,
and he wants to know what he should do. And
here here is my insight to your Delilah dilemma. If
(03:01):
you think that you're going to wake up on your
twenty third birthday and have everything figured out and have
supernatural wisdom and ability to make wise choices, especially in
the matters of the heart, I'm afraid you might be
a little mistaken because you're not going to have the
answers at twenty three. You're not going to have the
answers probably at thirty three, But that doesn't mean that
(03:25):
you should put this embargo on your heart. Dating and
marrying are two very very different things, young men, And
if you stay true to yourself and don't use women,
abuse women, take advantage of women, but just get to
know them, there's absolutely nothing wrong with dating. And a
(03:49):
promise you made to yourself about this arbitrary number of
twenty three based on what your mama went through doesn't
really make a whole lot of sense. You should relax
and unwind and just be a good friend and get
to know somebody and then see what happens, see what develops.
(04:18):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from someone I shall call no name.
No name rights. A little over a year and a
half ago, I became friends with one of the small
shop owners in my town, and since her store specialized
in merchandise that I enjoyed, I offered to help her
out in her shop when and if she needed help.
I am unemployed right now, so she availed herself to
(04:40):
my offer and set up a special sale she was having.
She offered to pay me for the time I spent
working her booth and store during this event. Needless to say,
I never saw a penny of pay. At one point,
she shared with me a financial problem that could cause
her to have family problems as well as business problems.
(05:00):
I took money out of my savings and borrowed against
one of my credit cards to help her. I lent
her over four thousand dollars. She's only paid back twenty
five hundred. It's been a year since I've seen any
money from her. She still owes me sixteen hundred dollars.
I have no savings left and I really need this money,
(05:21):
and she refuses to pay me. Now. She's even forbidden
me from coming into her store. I cannot afford to
get an attorney. I cannot afford to collect this. So
I'm hoping you could give me some insight as to
my dilemma. No Name. I will have my response to
you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from No
(05:49):
Name who lent money. First, she lent her time to
a friend who did not pay her for that time
after she promised she would. And then even after that,
she gave her a very large sum of money and
she's gotten less than well a little over half of
it back. No Name. Here's what I can say to you.
That was a very expensive lesson that you learned, but
(06:12):
hopefully you learned it. There is a very old book
that's been around a few thousand years that says, when
you lend to somebody, consider it a gift. If you
don't have it to give as a gift, don't lend
it because chances are you will not get it back.
I have learned that lesson. Well, I can't say I've
(06:32):
learned it because I still do it. But time and
time and time again, people have said I'll pay you back,
I'll pay you back, and of course they're not in
a position to pay me back. So I can either
get resentful and hurt, or I can realize that if
I'm going to lend somebody something, what I'm really saying
is I don't need this. You can have it if
(06:54):
you need it, you don't have it to lend to
somebody else. Since you cannot hire a lawyer, chances are
you are not going to get it back. So what
can you do. You can purpose in your heart to
turn it over to God and say, Okay, God, I
didn't really mean to give that as a gift, but
since I'm not getting it back, I'm going to let
go of it, and I'm going to trust and have faith.
(07:16):
And if you will do that, and if you will
put it in God's hands, I promise you he will
pay you back tenfold. So if I were you, I
would put that in God's hand and then see how
he prospers you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Tina. Tina says,
(07:43):
I've been married to a man I love dearly for
almost seventeen years. My husband is thirteen years older than
I am. We have a wonderful twelve year old son.
But Delilah, he is not the same man that I
married anymore. His life is consumed by Pott. It seems
the only time he is happy is when he's stoned.
He suffers from depression, but refuses to seek treatment. He
(08:06):
also refuses to see a marriage counselor. When I ask
him if he's willing to try to quit, he says no,
he does not want to stop. Please tell me what
I should do. Thanks a lot from Tina. I will
have my Delilah's response for you coming up next. Tonight's
(08:30):
Delilah's Dilemma is from Tina, who for seventeen years has
loved her husband. However, he is no longer the same
man she married because he's stoned out of his everloving gord.
She says, the only time he's happy is when he's
smoking weed. She went on to say, he suffers from depression,
refuses treatment, and refuses to see a marriage counselor. Tina,
your husband is an addict and he is not willing
(08:53):
to give up his drug of choice right now. So
what can you do? You cannot force him to stop,
you can force him to change. You cannot force him
to want to get professional treatment. All you can do
is take care of you and the best way you
can do that is get to a Narinon meeting or
an Alanon meeting. Narin On is a twelve step support
(09:15):
group for families and friends of people who are addicted
to drugs, whether that's pot, crack, cocaine, methanphetamines, over the
counter drugs. If you love somebody whose behavior is altered
by chemical substances and you cannot get them to change,
they are addicted and you are affected. So go to
(09:38):
these meetings, talk to other people who have been in
your shoes, learn from them, and then apply the steps
to your life. And whether your husband decides to give
up his addiction or not, I don't know, but you
will know in your heart of hearts what to do.
You will have clarity, you will be able to proceed
(10:01):
and make healthy choices for you and your son. I
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah l
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Do Love. Hey
it's Delilah. Come on in and make yourself at home
as we share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's
(00:27):
dilemmas when people get themselves into a bind, into a mess,
and need a little wisdom to find their way out.
Stay tuned for that coming up next. I received this
letter from a young man named Lemuel. He says, I'm
twenty one years old, raised by a single mom. I
(00:48):
made my own promise to myself not to date until
I was twenty three. This is because I'm afraid that
if I someday fell in love and then divorced orated,
I might put a woman into long term suffering, just
like my father did to my mom. In short, I
just want to make sure I will be mature enough
(01:10):
to take on the responsibility of loving one woman for
my entire lifetime. I've never dated, but not long ago,
I met an awesome lady. She was my student, and
by the time of her graduation from college, she had
swept me off my feet. I was sure I had
met the woman of my life, but not yet sure
(01:33):
if I was ready for her. I have not asked
her out. I met another lady about a month ago
on a business call. By the time she left, we
had exchanged cell phone numbers. She called me the next
day in a relationship has been blossoming. She helps me
in the office, she brings me lunch. She's an amazing lady.
But I have not dated her either. I have always
(01:55):
kept my word. I'm just unsure whether I should break
this twenty three three year old embargo in order to date.
Should I break the promise I made to myself. I
have two ladies that I have feelings for. I would
only need one of them, and now I can't decide
which one. Have you got some advice? I really need
(02:16):
some le mule. I will be back with my mother
Delilah insight coming up in just a moment. Tonight's letter
comes from a young man who had made a commitment
to himself not to date until he was twenty three.
That was the arbitrary number he chose, thinking at that
(02:38):
point everything would become crystal clear, And at twenty one
he finds himself attracted to two different women both that
he cares about, but neither one that he is dating,
and he wants to know what he should do. And
here here is my insight to your Delilah dilemma. If
(03:01):
you think that you're going to wake up on your
twenty third birthday and have everything figured out and have
supernatural wisdom and ability to make wise choices, especially in
the matters of the heart, I'm afraid you might be
a little mistaken because you're not going to have the
answers at twenty three. You're not going to have the
answers probably at thirty three, But that doesn't mean that
(03:25):
you should put this embargo on your heart. Dating and
marrying are two very very different things, young men, And
if you stay true to yourself and don't use women,
abuse women, take advantage of women, but just get to
know them, there's absolutely nothing wrong with dating. And a
(03:49):
promise you made to yourself about this arbitrary number of
twenty three based on what your mama went through doesn't
really make a whole lot of sense. You should relax
and unwind and just be a good friend and get
to know somebody and then see what happens, see what develops.
(04:18):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from someone I shall call no name.
No name rights. A little over a year and a
half ago, I became friends with one of the small
shop owners in my town, and since her store specialized
in merchandise that I enjoyed, I offered to help her
out in her shop when and if she needed help.
I am unemployed right now, so she availed herself to
(04:40):
my offer and set up a special sale she was having.
She offered to pay me for the time I spent
working her booth and store during this event. Needless to say,
I never saw a penny of pay. At one point,
she shared with me a financial problem that could cause
her to have family problems as well as business problems.
(05:00):
I took money out of my savings and borrowed against
one of my credit cards to help her. I lent
her over four thousand dollars. She's only paid back twenty
five hundred. It's been a year since I've seen any
money from her. She still owes me sixteen hundred dollars.
I have no savings left and I really need this money,
(05:21):
and she refuses to pay me. Now. She's even forbidden
me from coming into her store. I cannot afford to
get an attorney. I cannot afford to collect this. So
I'm hoping you could give me some insight as to
my dilemma. No Name. I will have my response to
you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from No
(05:49):
Name who lent money. First, she lent her time to
a friend who did not pay her for that time
after she promised she would. And then even after that,
she gave her a very large sum of money and
she's gotten less than well a little over half of
it back. No Name. Here's what I can say to you.
That was a very expensive lesson that you learned, but
(06:12):
hopefully you learned it. There is a very old book
that's been around a few thousand years that says, when
you lend to somebody, consider it a gift. If you
don't have it to give as a gift, don't lend
it because chances are you will not get it back.
I have learned that lesson. Well, I can't say I've
(06:32):
learned it because I still do it. But time and
time and time again, people have said I'll pay you back,
I'll pay you back, and of course they're not in
a position to pay me back. So I can either
get resentful and hurt, or I can realize that if
I'm going to lend somebody something, what I'm really saying
is I don't need this. You can have it if
(06:54):
you need it, you don't have it to lend to
somebody else. Since you cannot hire a lawyer, chances are
you are not going to get it back. So what
can you do. You can purpose in your heart to
turn it over to God and say, Okay, God, I
didn't really mean to give that as a gift, but
since I'm not getting it back, I'm going to let
go of it, and I'm going to trust and have faith.
(07:16):
And if you will do that, and if you will
put it in God's hands, I promise you he will
pay you back tenfold. So if I were you, I
would put that in God's hand and then see how
he prospers you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Tina. Tina says,
(07:43):
I've been married to a man I love dearly for
almost seventeen years. My husband is thirteen years older than
I am. We have a wonderful twelve year old son.
But Delilah, he is not the same man that I
married anymore. His life is consumed by Pott. It seems
the only time he is happy is when he's stoned.
He suffers from depression, but refuses to seek treatment. He
(08:06):
also refuses to see a marriage counselor. When I ask
him if he's willing to try to quit, he says no,
he does not want to stop. Please tell me what
I should do. Thanks a lot from Tina. I will
have my Delilah's response for you coming up next. Tonight's
(08:30):
Delilah's Dilemma is from Tina, who for seventeen years has
loved her husband. However, he is no longer the same
man she married because he's stoned out of his everloving gord.
She says, the only time he's happy is when he's
smoking weed. She went on to say, he suffers from depression,
refuses treatment, and refuses to see a marriage counselor. Tina,
your husband is an addict and he is not willing
(08:53):
to give up his drug of choice right now. So
what can you do? You cannot force him to stop,
you can force him to change. You cannot force him
to want to get professional treatment. All you can do
is take care of you and the best way you
can do that is get to a Narinon meeting or
an Alanon meeting. Narin On is a twelve step support
(09:15):
group for families and friends of people who are addicted
to drugs, whether that's pot, crack, cocaine, methanphetamines, over the
counter drugs. If you love somebody whose behavior is altered
by chemical substances and you cannot get them to change,
they are addicted and you are affected. So go to
(09:38):
these meetings, talk to other people who have been in
your shoes, learn from them, and then apply the steps
to your life. And whether your husband decides to give
up his addiction or not, I don't know, but you
will know in your heart of hearts what to do.
You will have clarity, you will be able to proceed
(10:01):
and make healthy choices for you and your son. I
so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much
as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more
with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah l
Host
Delilah
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