January 17, 2024 • 10 mins
In a sticky situation? Maybe I can help... maybe not. What do you think? ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or Folks call me or write me
(00:26):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says
over twenty five years ago, my parents kicked me out
(00:48):
of their house at the age of sixteen when they
learned that I was gay. Soon after, I found the
love of my life and we had thirteen wonderful years
together before he passed. The years after his death, I
struggled with addiction. I have been clean for three and
a half years now. I just found out I have
(01:10):
lymphoma and I'm also HIV positive. I have a longing
to reconnect with my family, but I'm not sure if
they would want to. They are the type that believe
that you choose to be an addict just as you
choose to be gay. So I would love to have
some advice on how to handle this dilemma. Sincerely from Chris. Chris,
(01:34):
I will have my words of love for you coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from someone that got
kicked out of his family's life a quarter of a
century ago because of his sexual orientation. He says, I
(01:57):
feel a longing to reconnect with my family, but I
I'm not sure if they would want to. Chris. If
they have made no effort to reach out to you
in all these years to acknowledge your existence, to try
to connect with you, then I am guessing that any
(02:17):
effort on your part is not going to be received
the way you are hoping it will. You can try,
but if you do reach out, reach out without any expectations,
because if they wanted to be connected to you, it
seems to me like they would have let you know
that somewhere along the way. Okay, you cannot set yourself
(02:44):
up for another heartache. You can't your heart can't handle it,
and your health can't handle it. So do not set
yourself up for another heartache. If you want to reach
out and say I'm thinking of you, I miss you.
I would like to reconnect with you. Then do that,
(03:05):
but don't do it with expectations of how they will respond,
because it does not sound like they understand what unconditional
love is. So reach out if that will help your heart,
but do so without any expectations, because it doesn't sound
(03:26):
like they understand the gift of unconditional love. That said,
I am sure you've got people in your life who
love you unconditionally. That's where you should be putting your
energy in the people who love you and support you
just the way you are. Kevin wrote to me and said,
(03:49):
Hi to Lailah. I'm a forty two year old married man,
remember that phrase, married man, And I have a great
job that I've been working at for fifteen years. My
wife is wanting to move to another state and start
from scratch. We have no family there, no home, no job.
The list goes on and on. In addition, we have
(04:12):
a twenty four year old special need son who has
established relationships with doctors and support where we are. The
only reason she gives is that she feels it will
give our younger son a better chance of going to college.
She doesn't get along with my family and she's talked
(04:34):
my younger son into this scheme. We'd be leaving everyone
and everything we have on a whim. I'm at a
loss and I'm at my wits end. We've been married
eighteen years, and I fear that moving will be the
worst mistake of our lives and will end up getting divorced.
But if I don't go along, the outcome would be
the same. Do you have any thoughts on this? From Kevin? Kevin,
(04:58):
I will be back with my thoughts on this coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Kevin, who's been
married eighteen years, has a twenty four year old special
(05:18):
need son, and his wife has decided she wants to
take their younger son, not the special need son, a
younger son, and move out of state for him to
have a better chance at going to college. Kevin, you
said in your first sentence, I'm a forty two year
old married man. It doesn't sound like you have much
(05:41):
of a marriage. It doesn't sound like your wife considers
your thoughts, or your needs, or your wants at all.
It sounds like your wife has made up her mind
that she is moving out of Dodge and it doesn't
really matter what's best for your marriage, for you, for
(06:03):
your twenty four year old son. It doesn't sound to
me like the fabric of your married life is one
that is built to unrespect and trust. If she respected
you and trusted you, she wouldn't be saying this is
what I'm gonna do, and if you don't want to
(06:24):
do it, too bad for you. But you need to
sit down and say, let's get honest. Let's put our
cards on the table. Let's get completely honest about where
we are in relationship to one another. Can we rebuild
a foundation of trust and of love and respect? Kevin,
(06:47):
you can always get another job, but your decision needs
to be made all four of you. Your special needs son,
your younger son, and you and your wife all need
to be on the same Your family needs to come
together and honestly talk about this and then figure out
(07:08):
what will be best for everyone. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says
my wife of six years is filed for divorce because
she says now she's into women. We have two children together.
I feel so many things right now. I feel betrayed,
(07:30):
I feel lost, I feel angry, and I feel so sad.
I don't want to be angry because honestly, I love her.
I want whatever is best for her. But I'm not
having much luck letting go. I need some Delilah words
to help me out. Thanks for your positivity in my
(07:51):
life each night. I love listening to your show. From Josh, Josh,
I will have my Mama Delilah words coming up. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Josh, who is feeling betrayed, lost, angry,
(08:12):
and sad. Josh, it wouldn't matter if your wife is
leaving you because she has discovered in herself that her
sexuality does not line up with her marriage, or if
she was sleeping with your best friend. The truth is
she has betrayed you, and that's what hurts. What hurts
(08:34):
is betrayal because when you take your marriage vows and
you mean them, and then you find out the other
person didn't mean them and they betray you, either physically
by having an affair or emotionally, that hurts. That hurts
(08:54):
like a pain you can't even describe to somebody unless
they've been through it. All your eggs in one basket
and you think that we are in this together we're
planning a life. We have two children, we are betrothed,
we pledged ourselves to each other. We've talked about apartments
(09:14):
or houses or where we're going to live, and how
we're going to raise the children together. And oh, by
the way, your better half, your other half, decided to
betray you and take off with somebody else. Whether it
was for a night or a month or a week
or whatever. That betrayal hurts to the very core of
(09:37):
your being. And letting go doesn't happen overnight. It's a process.
It takes time, and it takes tears, and it takes prayers,
and there's no shortcut. There's just not. You can go
to support groups, you can find a great counselor you
(09:59):
can talk to your friends, you can cry your tears,
but there is no shortcut. There is no short path
of grief. You just have to go through it. So grieve.
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
(10:20):
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah.
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas, or Folks call me or write me
(00:26):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says
over twenty five years ago, my parents kicked me out
(00:48):
of their house at the age of sixteen when they
learned that I was gay. Soon after, I found the
love of my life and we had thirteen wonderful years
together before he passed. The years after his death, I
struggled with addiction. I have been clean for three and
a half years now. I just found out I have
(01:10):
lymphoma and I'm also HIV positive. I have a longing
to reconnect with my family, but I'm not sure if
they would want to. They are the type that believe
that you choose to be an addict just as you
choose to be gay. So I would love to have
some advice on how to handle this dilemma. Sincerely from Chris. Chris,
(01:34):
I will have my words of love for you coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from someone that got
kicked out of his family's life a quarter of a
century ago because of his sexual orientation. He says, I
(01:57):
feel a longing to reconnect with my family, but I
I'm not sure if they would want to. Chris. If
they have made no effort to reach out to you
in all these years to acknowledge your existence, to try
to connect with you, then I am guessing that any
(02:17):
effort on your part is not going to be received
the way you are hoping it will. You can try,
but if you do reach out, reach out without any expectations,
because if they wanted to be connected to you, it
seems to me like they would have let you know
that somewhere along the way. Okay, you cannot set yourself
(02:44):
up for another heartache. You can't your heart can't handle it,
and your health can't handle it. So do not set
yourself up for another heartache. If you want to reach
out and say I'm thinking of you, I miss you.
I would like to reconnect with you. Then do that,
(03:05):
but don't do it with expectations of how they will respond,
because it does not sound like they understand what unconditional
love is. So reach out if that will help your heart,
but do so without any expectations, because it doesn't sound
(03:26):
like they understand the gift of unconditional love. That said,
I am sure you've got people in your life who
love you unconditionally. That's where you should be putting your
energy in the people who love you and support you
just the way you are. Kevin wrote to me and said,
(03:49):
Hi to Lailah. I'm a forty two year old married man,
remember that phrase, married man, And I have a great
job that I've been working at for fifteen years. My
wife is wanting to move to another state and start
from scratch. We have no family there, no home, no job.
The list goes on and on. In addition, we have
(04:12):
a twenty four year old special need son who has
established relationships with doctors and support where we are. The
only reason she gives is that she feels it will
give our younger son a better chance of going to college.
She doesn't get along with my family and she's talked
(04:34):
my younger son into this scheme. We'd be leaving everyone
and everything we have on a whim. I'm at a
loss and I'm at my wits end. We've been married
eighteen years, and I fear that moving will be the
worst mistake of our lives and will end up getting divorced.
But if I don't go along, the outcome would be
the same. Do you have any thoughts on this? From Kevin? Kevin,
(04:58):
I will be back with my thoughts on this coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Kevin, who's been
married eighteen years, has a twenty four year old special
(05:18):
need son, and his wife has decided she wants to
take their younger son, not the special need son, a
younger son, and move out of state for him to
have a better chance at going to college. Kevin, you
said in your first sentence, I'm a forty two year
old married man. It doesn't sound like you have much
(05:41):
of a marriage. It doesn't sound like your wife considers
your thoughts, or your needs, or your wants at all.
It sounds like your wife has made up her mind
that she is moving out of Dodge and it doesn't
really matter what's best for your marriage, for you, for
(06:03):
your twenty four year old son. It doesn't sound to
me like the fabric of your married life is one
that is built to unrespect and trust. If she respected
you and trusted you, she wouldn't be saying this is
what I'm gonna do, and if you don't want to
(06:24):
do it, too bad for you. But you need to
sit down and say, let's get honest. Let's put our
cards on the table. Let's get completely honest about where
we are in relationship to one another. Can we rebuild
a foundation of trust and of love and respect? Kevin,
(06:47):
you can always get another job, but your decision needs
to be made all four of you. Your special needs son,
your younger son, and you and your wife all need
to be on the same Your family needs to come
together and honestly talk about this and then figure out
(07:08):
what will be best for everyone. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma says
my wife of six years is filed for divorce because
she says now she's into women. We have two children together.
I feel so many things right now. I feel betrayed,
(07:30):
I feel lost, I feel angry, and I feel so sad.
I don't want to be angry because honestly, I love her.
I want whatever is best for her. But I'm not
having much luck letting go. I need some Delilah words
to help me out. Thanks for your positivity in my
(07:51):
life each night. I love listening to your show. From Josh, Josh,
I will have my Mama Delilah words coming up. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Josh, who is feeling betrayed, lost, angry,
(08:12):
and sad. Josh, it wouldn't matter if your wife is
leaving you because she has discovered in herself that her
sexuality does not line up with her marriage, or if
she was sleeping with your best friend. The truth is
she has betrayed you, and that's what hurts. What hurts
(08:34):
is betrayal because when you take your marriage vows and
you mean them, and then you find out the other
person didn't mean them and they betray you, either physically
by having an affair or emotionally, that hurts. That hurts
(08:54):
like a pain you can't even describe to somebody unless
they've been through it. All your eggs in one basket
and you think that we are in this together we're
planning a life. We have two children, we are betrothed,
we pledged ourselves to each other. We've talked about apartments
(09:14):
or houses or where we're going to live, and how
we're going to raise the children together. And oh, by
the way, your better half, your other half, decided to
betray you and take off with somebody else. Whether it
was for a night or a month or a week
or whatever. That betrayal hurts to the very core of
(09:37):
your being. And letting go doesn't happen overnight. It's a process.
It takes time, and it takes tears, and it takes prayers,
and there's no shortcut. There's just not. You can go
to support groups, you can find a great counselor you
(09:59):
can talk to your friends, you can cry your tears,
but there is no shortcut. There is no short path
of grief. You just have to go through it. So grieve.
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
(10:20):
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah.
Host
Delilah
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