October 2, 2024 • 11 mins
Sometimes life doesn't go quite to plan, and we're left scratching our heads or nursing a broken heart. ~ Delilah
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas, where folks call me or write me
(00:25):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
we're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(00:46):
from Reggie, who gave his heart and had it handed back.
He writes, I'm hoping you'll be able to help me
with a dilemma. I met this beautiful woman back in March.
We started talking and seeing each other. I moved to
the state she's in for work, and she even helped
me with the purchase of my home. She did so
(01:09):
much for me. I finally introduced her to my two
youngest children and they adored her and she Then she
came and spent what I felt was a wonderful weekend
with me and my kids, but then got distant, making
up reasons that getting together couldn't happen sending brief replies
(01:32):
to my text and tell boom she blacked my number.
I need your help in understanding what I may have
done wrong. I was thinking we might have a future together,
and now I am just so confused. Please help me.
From Reggie, Reggie, I will share my words of advice
(01:54):
for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Reggie,
who met a lady I'm guessing online, moved to her
state for work, brought his two young children, spent time together,
(02:15):
had a wonderful time, and then boom, she disappeared. She
ghosted him, and he says, I need your help in
understanding what I may have done wrong. Well, Reggie, I
wasn't there. You may have done something wrong. I don't know.
I wasn't there, and you don't include any of that
information in your story. You thought it was a wonderful weekend,
(02:39):
But maybe she didn't. Maybe she didn't like the way
you talked to her. Maybe she didn't like seeing the
way you parented. I don't know, But my guess is
it has nothing to do with you and everything to
do with her. My guess is she only is attracted
(03:00):
to somebody who is emotionally unavailable. There are a lot
of women, and I know this because I was one
for many years, who are only attracted to men they
cannot or should not have, And when somebody is emotionally
available and ready for an honest, committed, loving relationship, they
(03:26):
get uncomfortable. They get queasy, almost nauseous, they feel suffocated,
and they exit stage right. I did it to nice guys.
I did that very thing because I had been raised
with so much dysfunction that anything that was normal felt
(03:49):
suffocating and miserable until I got help, and I got counseling,
and I got well and I healed my heart. I
don't know, red Gee, if you did something wrong or
if it's just not the right situation, But if she
were an emotionally healthy, stable person, she's a grown adult
(04:13):
ghosting you and blocking you. Pretty immature way to behave.
So I am guessing the only thing you did wrong
was giving your heart and your trust to somebody who
wasn't emotionally ready for that level of commitment. Tonight's Delilah's
(04:39):
Dilemma reads, Dear Delilah, my mom and I listen to
a lot you always give good advice. I'm hoping you
can share some words. Now. I'm writing to you about
my mama. She and my dad divorced a long time ago,
and my dad has a new family now. But my
mom I want her to find someone that makes her
(05:03):
smile and has time to do stuff with me too.
She says that me and her are enough. How can
I make her see we need someone else in our life?
Please help? From Sam, Sam, I will share my thoughts
with you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from
(05:35):
a young person. Don't know how old, don't know what age,
don't know if you're in grade school, junior high, or
high school. But mom and dad are divorced. Dad has
moved on married somebody else, has a new family, but
Mom is quite content to be single with Sam. How
can I make her see we need someone else in
our life? Sam, you don't. You can't make her see
(05:59):
that because you don't. You don't need someone else in
your life. What you are longing for and hoping for
is a dynamic you have imagined in your mind, maybe
from watching TV shows or a movie or reading a book.
(06:20):
But different families look very, very different, and single moms
raising kids are a complete family. Really you are. There
is nothing missing except in your imagination. So if you
(06:40):
can accept what you have and enjoy what you have,
who knows, maybe Mom will open her heart again, maybe
God will bring the perfect person into her life. But
right now, she is completely content focusing on you. Maybe
(07:00):
she's choosing not to date, not to fall in love
because she doesn't want the time to be distracted from you,
the attention to be distracted from you, or maybe she
has other reasons. I don't know Mom's choices, but I
do know this. I was a single mom for a
(07:22):
very long time, and the time that I had, especially
with my oldest son Sonny, because we were alone together
for more than ten years, was precious and rich with
love and things that we did together. So plan things
to do with your mom. Say, can we go hiking?
(07:43):
Can we go to the beach? Can we go to
a park? Can we go shoot hoop? Can we go
to a gym? Come up with things that you and
mom can do together. And the more you focus on
the bonds of love you have with mom, the less
you will think that you are missing out on something.
(08:03):
And you say, you got a dad. So spend time
with dad. If you're missing having a father figure in
your life, you got a dad, and even though he's remarried,
I would bet he would cherish spending time with you.
Good luck and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(08:30):
from a young man named Alex, who says, hi to
Delilah this October, I'm getting married to a wonderful soul.
We've been together for two years. She's twenty years older
than me and has shown me what true love should be.
My dilemma is this, I still think about my ex,
(08:54):
my college sweetheart, who I was with for five years.
What should I do to get over her before I
rush and get married? Thanks for any advice from Alex, Alex,
I will have my Mama Delilah words for you coming
up next. You're listening to Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(09:26):
from a young man named Alex who is engaged to
be married in a few weeks, practically in a few days,
but he is still pining for his college sweetheart. What
should I do to get over her before I get married? Alex,
(09:47):
That's not something that you snap your fingers and you
work through. It's not It's not something that you can
just go bibbity bobbity boo, begone, memories begone. Now, there
is a difference between thinking fondly of somebody and longing
(10:08):
for someone. I have exes that are still a part
of my life and I love them and I think
fondly of them. But that is completely different than longing
or aching or missing someone. And if you are betrothed
(10:29):
to somebody else, you need to stop and look at
that and go, Okay, am I just thinking of her?
Does she just occupy a sweet little spot in my heart?
Or do you still have a soul tie? Do you
know what a soul tie is? Occupying a spot in
your heart? If you have loved somebody, you will never
not love them. If you have truly loved somebody, the
(10:55):
part of their personality or their character that you loved
will always probably be a little part of your heart.
But when you have a soul tied to somebody where
you still have that connection across space, across time, even
if you're not in contact, that's a completely different matter
(11:18):
and you need to really think on that before you
enter into a holy union with someone else. I so
hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as
I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with
you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
called Delilah's Dilemmas, where folks call me or write me
(00:25):
and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
we're going to listen to some of those unique situations
right here on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(00:46):
from Reggie, who gave his heart and had it handed back.
He writes, I'm hoping you'll be able to help me
with a dilemma. I met this beautiful woman back in March.
We started talking and seeing each other. I moved to
the state she's in for work, and she even helped
me with the purchase of my home. She did so
(01:09):
much for me. I finally introduced her to my two
youngest children and they adored her and she Then she
came and spent what I felt was a wonderful weekend
with me and my kids, but then got distant, making
up reasons that getting together couldn't happen sending brief replies
(01:32):
to my text and tell boom she blacked my number.
I need your help in understanding what I may have
done wrong. I was thinking we might have a future together,
and now I am just so confused. Please help me.
From Reggie, Reggie, I will share my words of advice
(01:54):
for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Reggie,
who met a lady I'm guessing online, moved to her
state for work, brought his two young children, spent time together,
(02:15):
had a wonderful time, and then boom, she disappeared. She
ghosted him, and he says, I need your help in
understanding what I may have done wrong. Well, Reggie, I
wasn't there. You may have done something wrong. I don't know.
I wasn't there, and you don't include any of that
information in your story. You thought it was a wonderful weekend,
(02:39):
But maybe she didn't. Maybe she didn't like the way
you talked to her. Maybe she didn't like seeing the
way you parented. I don't know, But my guess is
it has nothing to do with you and everything to
do with her. My guess is she only is attracted
(03:00):
to somebody who is emotionally unavailable. There are a lot
of women, and I know this because I was one
for many years, who are only attracted to men they
cannot or should not have, And when somebody is emotionally
available and ready for an honest, committed, loving relationship, they
(03:26):
get uncomfortable. They get queasy, almost nauseous, they feel suffocated,
and they exit stage right. I did it to nice guys.
I did that very thing because I had been raised
with so much dysfunction that anything that was normal felt
(03:49):
suffocating and miserable until I got help, and I got counseling,
and I got well and I healed my heart. I
don't know, red Gee, if you did something wrong or
if it's just not the right situation, But if she
were an emotionally healthy, stable person, she's a grown adult
(04:13):
ghosting you and blocking you. Pretty immature way to behave.
So I am guessing the only thing you did wrong
was giving your heart and your trust to somebody who
wasn't emotionally ready for that level of commitment. Tonight's Delilah's
(04:39):
Dilemma reads, Dear Delilah, my mom and I listen to
a lot you always give good advice. I'm hoping you
can share some words. Now. I'm writing to you about
my mama. She and my dad divorced a long time ago,
and my dad has a new family now. But my
mom I want her to find someone that makes her
(05:03):
smile and has time to do stuff with me too.
She says that me and her are enough. How can
I make her see we need someone else in our life?
Please help? From Sam, Sam, I will share my thoughts
with you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from
(05:35):
a young person. Don't know how old, don't know what age,
don't know if you're in grade school, junior high, or
high school. But mom and dad are divorced. Dad has
moved on married somebody else, has a new family, but
Mom is quite content to be single with Sam. How
can I make her see we need someone else in
our life? Sam, you don't. You can't make her see
(05:59):
that because you don't. You don't need someone else in
your life. What you are longing for and hoping for
is a dynamic you have imagined in your mind, maybe
from watching TV shows or a movie or reading a book.
(06:20):
But different families look very, very different, and single moms
raising kids are a complete family. Really you are. There
is nothing missing except in your imagination. So if you
(06:40):
can accept what you have and enjoy what you have,
who knows, maybe Mom will open her heart again, maybe
God will bring the perfect person into her life. But
right now, she is completely content focusing on you. Maybe
(07:00):
she's choosing not to date, not to fall in love
because she doesn't want the time to be distracted from you,
the attention to be distracted from you, or maybe she
has other reasons. I don't know Mom's choices, but I
do know this. I was a single mom for a
(07:22):
very long time, and the time that I had, especially
with my oldest son Sonny, because we were alone together
for more than ten years, was precious and rich with
love and things that we did together. So plan things
to do with your mom. Say, can we go hiking?
(07:43):
Can we go to the beach? Can we go to
a park? Can we go shoot hoop? Can we go
to a gym? Come up with things that you and
mom can do together. And the more you focus on
the bonds of love you have with mom, the less
you will think that you are missing out on something.
(08:03):
And you say, you got a dad. So spend time
with dad. If you're missing having a father figure in
your life, you got a dad, and even though he's remarried,
I would bet he would cherish spending time with you.
Good luck and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(08:30):
from a young man named Alex, who says, hi to
Delilah this October, I'm getting married to a wonderful soul.
We've been together for two years. She's twenty years older
than me and has shown me what true love should be.
My dilemma is this, I still think about my ex,
(08:54):
my college sweetheart, who I was with for five years.
What should I do to get over her before I
rush and get married? Thanks for any advice from Alex, Alex,
I will have my Mama Delilah words for you coming
up next. You're listening to Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(09:26):
from a young man named Alex who is engaged to
be married in a few weeks, practically in a few days,
but he is still pining for his college sweetheart. What
should I do to get over her before I get married? Alex,
(09:47):
That's not something that you snap your fingers and you
work through. It's not It's not something that you can
just go bibbity bobbity boo, begone, memories begone. Now, there
is a difference between thinking fondly of somebody and longing
(10:08):
for someone. I have exes that are still a part
of my life and I love them and I think
fondly of them. But that is completely different than longing
or aching or missing someone. And if you are betrothed
(10:29):
to somebody else, you need to stop and look at
that and go, Okay, am I just thinking of her?
Does she just occupy a sweet little spot in my heart?
Or do you still have a soul tie? Do you
know what a soul tie is? Occupying a spot in
your heart? If you have loved somebody, you will never
not love them. If you have truly loved somebody, the
(10:55):
part of their personality or their character that you loved
will always probably be a little part of your heart.
But when you have a soul tied to somebody where
you still have that connection across space, across time, even
if you're not in contact, that's a completely different matter
(11:18):
and you need to really think on that before you
enter into a holy union with someone else. I so
hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as
I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with
you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah
Host
Delilah
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