September 18, 2024 • 9 mins
Life throws everyone curve balls, and sometimes we're just too overwhelmed to deal. Let me see if I can help... ~ Delilah
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:24):
Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you call
me with yours situation and I try to help you
come up with the right solution. Today, we're going to
listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Pete, who says Jenny and I were
dating for about two years. We've known each other for
(00:45):
the past thirty seven years, which tells me, Pete, you
guys are not teenagers, you are adults. In the beginning
when we were dating, it was fine. Suddenly she wanted
to break it off because she said she wanted space.
I gave her space. We talked, we got back together again,
and everything was great. During this time, Jenny's mom became
(01:08):
ill and we would have to go to the hospital
a lot. Most of the time I would accompany her
and stay with both of them. But then her mom
passed away last summer. While grieving, we took a trip
out of town to see my family. We went sightseeing,
we shopped, we had a great time. We came back home.
Everything was good. That a month later, Ginny calls me
up on the phone and says, Pete, I need to
(01:30):
break up with you. I need to find myself. She says,
of course, this is like a blow to my gut.
I do not know how to respond because it's so
out of the blue. So since then until today, I
have been in complete limbo. I know everyone's telling me
it's not my fault, but she doesn't even want to
(01:50):
talk to me. Of course it's my fault. I say,
can you help me? What is going on? And yes,
I'm giving her the space that she says that she
won from Pete. Pete, I don't know the full story.
I would have to talk to your girlfriend, but I
will have my words of advice for you coming up next.
(02:15):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a grown man who has
known a woman for his whole life thirty seven years.
They've been dating for two and she keeps doing the
on again, off again Pete, how could that possibly be
your fault unless you have physically or emotionally hurt her
or cheated on her. Or taken advantage of her. Unless
(02:39):
you have done something grievous horribly wrong like that, you
do not deserve the silent treatment. This person is not
mentally stable, Pete. If you have done those something horrible,
if you have cheated on her, had a secret relationship
texting her best friend. If you have done something grievous,
(03:03):
then I understand why she doesn't want to talk to you.
But it sounds to me like you are a gentleman,
that you are a sweet, gentle kind man, and that
you have given her your heart and your attention and
cared for her mother. And there's something broken in her
that when she starts to feel close to you she
runs the other direction. You can't fix that. Nothing you
(03:28):
can do but realize that she is not healthy. She
is not able to fully commit herself. Let her go
and move on. I know that's hard, since you've known
her and loved her so much, but you're just going
to keep getting your heart broken over and over and
over again. So hopefully you will realize this has nothing
(03:53):
to do with you and everything to do with your Jenny,
who just liked the girl in Forrest Gump runs away.
Good luck and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from somebody that I'm going to change their name to
(04:15):
protect the innocent, so I'm going to call her Peggy.
This person says, I've been married for several years and
I don't know what to do. My husband and I
have a good friendship and a good marriage. All is
good except for our love life or lack thereof. I've
tried everything from pretty little nineties to candles, to racy
(04:36):
love letters and beyond anything he likes, and yet I've
received no response. Nothing has worked. I keep trying to
talk to him, but it always ends up as an argument,
which is opposite of what I want. I've tried to initiate,
but I get excuses or pushed away. What should I do.
(04:57):
I've gained some weight since we got married, and I
blame myself for a while, but I don't think that's
the problem. My husband's fifty, so I thought maybe he
was having a medical problem that he refuses to get
help for. In the back of my mind, I believe
he's cheating on me, but there's no evidence that he
really is. We have not had any romantic time together
(05:20):
in over a year, and I'm running out of options.
Our marriage was never based on a physical, loving relationship,
but can you really have a marriage without it? I
have reached the point of either wanting a divorce or
finding somebody else to be with. What should I do?
From Peggy not her real name, I have no clue.
(05:44):
I will share my thoughts with you and that will
be next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma from a woman who is
in a happy marriage, a good friendship and yet there
(06:05):
is no shall we say, romance, no quality time in
a physical respect, slow dancing or whatever. And she's frustrated,
and she's tried talking, and she's tried begging, and she's
tried flirting and nothing works. Here's what I would do
if I were you. I would go see a professional counselor.
(06:26):
I would share your situation with them. I would honestly
confront your husband and say, here's the deal. I did
not sign up for a marriage to not have this
aspect of it, and we need to address it. But
I would definitely talk to somebody who can give you
some professional counseling because I can't. I really am not
(06:48):
qualified to, you know. I would have said the roses
and the pretty little nineties. But you tried that and
it didn't work. So this is a much, much, much
much deeper issue you and you're going to have to
talk to somebody who's a professional and can give you
some real help. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is about jealousy and
(07:15):
envy and not being able to control those feelings. A
listener writes, about two years ago, my husband and I
started the journey of trying to have children, and unfortunately
we have not been able to conceive as of yet.
It is wearing on me emotionally. I recently found out
that my brother and his lady love are now pregnant,
(07:36):
and I find myself green with envy, so much envy
to the point that I have cut them out of
my life. I do love them, but my stubbornness, my pain,
my jealousy is keeping me from letting them know. Can
you please find a song that lets them know that
I do love them? And what do I do about
my feelings? I will have my response to you coming up.
(08:08):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young woman who is
struggling with infertility, has been trying to get pregnant, not
been successful, but her brother and his girlfriend have and
now she's so jealous she doesn't even want to have
contact with them. Well, first off, the fact that you
recognize it for what it is and you're willing to
admit it, not just to yourself but to some dischuckie
you don't even know. That's huge, huge emotional maturity there. Now,
(08:33):
what do you do about those feelings? Well, you do
just what you did. You admit them, you own them,
and then you pray that God would help you deal
with them, and you tell your brother and his girlfriend
the truth. You say. Listen, I want to rejoice for you.
I want to be happy for you. I love you,
but I've got this monster of envy that's eating me alive.
(08:55):
So please be patient with me while I work through it.
I don't mean to put my pain on you, but
I don't seem to be able to handle this emotion.
And the more you talk about it, and the more
you own it and the more you look at it
for what it is, the less power it will have
over you. Good luck. I so hope you have enjoyed
(09:19):
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you. I'll share more with you. Each weekday on Hey,
it's Delilah
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast, Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:24):
Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you call
me with yours situation and I try to help you
come up with the right solution. Today, we're going to
listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's Delilah's
Dilemma is from Pete, who says Jenny and I were
dating for about two years. We've known each other for
(00:45):
the past thirty seven years, which tells me, Pete, you
guys are not teenagers, you are adults. In the beginning
when we were dating, it was fine. Suddenly she wanted
to break it off because she said she wanted space.
I gave her space. We talked, we got back together again,
and everything was great. During this time, Jenny's mom became
(01:08):
ill and we would have to go to the hospital
a lot. Most of the time I would accompany her
and stay with both of them. But then her mom
passed away last summer. While grieving, we took a trip
out of town to see my family. We went sightseeing,
we shopped, we had a great time. We came back home.
Everything was good. That a month later, Ginny calls me
up on the phone and says, Pete, I need to
(01:30):
break up with you. I need to find myself. She says,
of course, this is like a blow to my gut.
I do not know how to respond because it's so
out of the blue. So since then until today, I
have been in complete limbo. I know everyone's telling me
it's not my fault, but she doesn't even want to
(01:50):
talk to me. Of course it's my fault. I say,
can you help me? What is going on? And yes,
I'm giving her the space that she says that she
won from Pete. Pete, I don't know the full story.
I would have to talk to your girlfriend, but I
will have my words of advice for you coming up next.
(02:15):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a grown man who has
known a woman for his whole life thirty seven years.
They've been dating for two and she keeps doing the
on again, off again Pete, how could that possibly be
your fault unless you have physically or emotionally hurt her
or cheated on her. Or taken advantage of her. Unless
(02:39):
you have done something grievous horribly wrong like that, you
do not deserve the silent treatment. This person is not
mentally stable, Pete. If you have done those something horrible,
if you have cheated on her, had a secret relationship
texting her best friend. If you have done something grievous,
(03:03):
then I understand why she doesn't want to talk to you.
But it sounds to me like you are a gentleman,
that you are a sweet, gentle kind man, and that
you have given her your heart and your attention and
cared for her mother. And there's something broken in her
that when she starts to feel close to you she
runs the other direction. You can't fix that. Nothing you
(03:28):
can do but realize that she is not healthy. She
is not able to fully commit herself. Let her go
and move on. I know that's hard, since you've known
her and loved her so much, but you're just going
to keep getting your heart broken over and over and
over again. So hopefully you will realize this has nothing
(03:53):
to do with you and everything to do with your Jenny,
who just liked the girl in Forrest Gump runs away.
Good luck and God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from somebody that I'm going to change their name to
(04:15):
protect the innocent, so I'm going to call her Peggy.
This person says, I've been married for several years and
I don't know what to do. My husband and I
have a good friendship and a good marriage. All is
good except for our love life or lack thereof. I've
tried everything from pretty little nineties to candles, to racy
(04:36):
love letters and beyond anything he likes, and yet I've
received no response. Nothing has worked. I keep trying to
talk to him, but it always ends up as an argument,
which is opposite of what I want. I've tried to initiate,
but I get excuses or pushed away. What should I do.
(04:57):
I've gained some weight since we got married, and I
blame myself for a while, but I don't think that's
the problem. My husband's fifty, so I thought maybe he
was having a medical problem that he refuses to get
help for. In the back of my mind, I believe
he's cheating on me, but there's no evidence that he
really is. We have not had any romantic time together
(05:20):
in over a year, and I'm running out of options.
Our marriage was never based on a physical, loving relationship,
but can you really have a marriage without it? I
have reached the point of either wanting a divorce or
finding somebody else to be with. What should I do?
From Peggy not her real name, I have no clue.
(05:44):
I will share my thoughts with you and that will
be next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma from a woman who is
in a happy marriage, a good friendship and yet there
(06:05):
is no shall we say, romance, no quality time in
a physical respect, slow dancing or whatever. And she's frustrated,
and she's tried talking, and she's tried begging, and she's
tried flirting and nothing works. Here's what I would do
if I were you. I would go see a professional counselor.
(06:26):
I would share your situation with them. I would honestly
confront your husband and say, here's the deal. I did
not sign up for a marriage to not have this
aspect of it, and we need to address it. But
I would definitely talk to somebody who can give you
some professional counseling because I can't. I really am not
(06:48):
qualified to, you know. I would have said the roses
and the pretty little nineties. But you tried that and
it didn't work. So this is a much, much, much
much deeper issue you and you're going to have to
talk to somebody who's a professional and can give you
some real help. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is about jealousy and
(07:15):
envy and not being able to control those feelings. A
listener writes, about two years ago, my husband and I
started the journey of trying to have children, and unfortunately
we have not been able to conceive as of yet.
It is wearing on me emotionally. I recently found out
that my brother and his lady love are now pregnant,
(07:36):
and I find myself green with envy, so much envy
to the point that I have cut them out of
my life. I do love them, but my stubbornness, my pain,
my jealousy is keeping me from letting them know. Can
you please find a song that lets them know that
I do love them? And what do I do about
my feelings? I will have my response to you coming up.
(08:08):
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young woman who is
struggling with infertility, has been trying to get pregnant, not
been successful, but her brother and his girlfriend have and
now she's so jealous she doesn't even want to have
contact with them. Well, first off, the fact that you
recognize it for what it is and you're willing to
admit it, not just to yourself but to some dischuckie
you don't even know. That's huge, huge emotional maturity there. Now,
(08:33):
what do you do about those feelings? Well, you do
just what you did. You admit them, you own them,
and then you pray that God would help you deal
with them, and you tell your brother and his girlfriend
the truth. You say. Listen, I want to rejoice for you.
I want to be happy for you. I love you,
but I've got this monster of envy that's eating me alive.
(08:55):
So please be patient with me while I work through it.
I don't mean to put my pain on you, but
I don't seem to be able to handle this emotion.
And the more you talk about it, and the more
you own it and the more you look at it
for what it is, the less power it will have
over you. Good luck. I so hope you have enjoyed
(09:19):
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you. I'll share more with you. Each weekday on Hey,
it's Delilah
Host
Delilah
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!