July 3, 2024 • 12 mins
Lemme see if I can see this from a different perspective. ~ Delilah
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:24):
a Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you
call me with yours situation and I try to help
you come up with the right solution. Today, we're going
to listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's
Delilah's dilemma is somebody who does not want to use
their name. She says, I want do not want my
name said on the air, But I have a dilemma
(00:47):
with a friend. Everyone is saying she's using me. They
say she's talking about me behind my back in unkind ways,
while it is her that has a lot of issues
right now. Currently she has a case with Child Protective
Services because her house is really unsanitary. She doesn't clean
(01:09):
up after her animals, and it's not safe or healthy
for her three children. We've been friends for so long,
but the problems are mounting. Should I walk away from
this friendship? Signed anonymous Anonymous, I will have my mother
Delilah words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
(01:38):
is from someone who says she is feeling used. She
says her friend is talking about her in unkind ways,
while her friend is the one with a lot of
issues right now, Anonymous, you don't say why or how
she is using you. Is she taking advantage of you financially?
Is she asking you to do things for her that
(02:01):
she should in fact be doing herself. Is she saying
unkind things to your face or behind your back? If so,
who is the tattle tale, the gossiper that's running to
you with this information. If she has a case open
with Child Protective Services and she is unable to make
(02:21):
her home sanitary, I would guess she is overwhelmed and
probably battling mental illness. If she is a single mama,
she's got three kids and pets, and she can't keep up,
and so she's probably slipping into a deep depression. Should
you walk away from her? Why would you do that?
(02:44):
If you were going under, if you were drowning in
a sea of problems, would you want your oldest and
dearest friend to walk away from you? Or would you
want that friend to come alongside you and say I
can't fix you. I can't fix this, but I can
hold your hand and walk you through it. Maybe she
(03:05):
needs a team of friends to come and soar through
her house and clean it up and get it in order.
Maybe she needs one or two hours a day without
three children to watch so she can attempt to do that.
Maybe she needs to go to a hospital and be evaluated.
Maybe she is in a mental health crisis. I don't know.
(03:26):
So you can't fix whatever is going on with her,
but you can love her through it and pray her
through it, and talk her and walk her through it.
So if you love her and she's a true friend,
right now, I think she needs you more than ever.
(03:49):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma sounds like sounds like a chapter out
of a crazy novel or a crazy movie. Somebody writes
to me and says, I am willing to try anything
to reconnect with the love of my life. Last year
we were together, we went through some incredibly hard times.
(04:13):
We suffered a tubal pregnancy and two miscarriages. I've struggled
with depression for many years, and I turned to alcohol.
I was drinking heavily at that point. A coworker made
advances towards me, and that resulted in a brief affair.
(04:34):
I quickly realized that I was making a terrible mistake
and I ended it, and in December I found out
I was once again pregnant. My love and I found
new joy together, but when my coworker claimed the baby
was his, I had to tell my boyfriend about everything,
and though we are together, he mistrusts me. DNA testing
confirms the child that we had tried for so long
(04:57):
to have is indeed his baby. He cannot leave the
affair in the past and is continuously reaching out to
this co worker for information, trying to catch me and lie.
I've been honest with him, but the coworker is being spiteful.
I want nothing more than to raise this child together.
(05:17):
Please help me win back the love of my life,
or at least tell my story so that he can
hear how much he truly means to me and that
I will do anything for him to prove my love.
Thank you so much, from a distraught Heather. Heather, I
will have my very stern Mama, Delilah words for you
coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young
(05:50):
woman who's a hot mess and is trying to prove
to her sweetheart that she loves him and wants to
have a life with him. Here's the problem I have
with that declaration, Heather. Nowhere in your letter do you
take ownership of your bad choices. You blamed your miscarriages
(06:13):
and your depression for turning to alcohol, and then you
blamed your drinking and the person who made advances towards
you on having an affair. Nowhere in here do I
read I made really bad choices. I'm an alcoholic. I
need to go to AA. I need to not drink again.
(06:34):
I need to make amends for choosing to step outside
of my committed relationship and cheat on my beloved. I
need to fix this. I don't hear you saying that.
I hear you saying what can I do? I will
do anything for him to prove my love. You need
(06:56):
to get help for you and your baby. Of course,
he's trying to catch you in a lie because you've lied.
You were a liar and a cheater. And you say
I've been honest with him, Yes, but you were only
honest with him once you were caught. That's not being honest,
that's just being caught. So if you want to show
(07:16):
him that you are mature and that you are trustworthy,
then act like you are mature and trustworthy by owning
your behavior. Go to AA, get sober, work the steps,
do an honest fourth step. It's hard, It's really, really,
really hard being mature, says I did this. I created
(07:38):
this mess, and I dragged you into it, and I'm sorry,
and I am going to do everything in my power
to do the right thing. I am going to show
you by my actions that I am accountable and that
I love you. If you do that, you may rebuild
(08:00):
the trust. I don't know. But if you don't do that,
you will never rebuild the trust. I guarantee you that
good luck, good luck on your baby and your future,
and may God bless you whatever life brings. Mary writes,
(08:22):
my dear Delilah, I listen to your program every night,
and I have for years. I enjoy the music and
the stories, and I admire your ability to pick the
right songs for each situation. Thank you. My issue is
that I was married for almost twenty years to the
only person I have ever felt real love from. Almost
(08:46):
three years ago, COVID took him from me. I feel
so guilty about that because I was sick first and
I brought it into our home. I had a very
mild case, but it got him so much worse. He
went in to the hospital, but he did not recover.
I had to be the one to give consent to
take him off the ventilator. And that's a burden that's
(09:08):
overwhelming me. I feel like I let him down. I
wonder if he will ever be able to forgive me.
How do I get past this grief and guilt and
continue to live my life? Thank you so much from
a grieving Mary, Mary, I will have my words of support, advice, insight, insight,
(09:32):
That's what it is coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
is from Mary who got sick with COVID. Her husband
then caught it and he did not recover from it,
and she had to give consent to take him off
the ventilator. And now you are feeling overwhelmed with guilt, Mary, Stop. Stop.
(09:59):
Only God gives life and only God takes a life.
And there's a very old book that I believe to
be true that says all of our days are numbered.
Every single day is numbered before a single one comes
to pass. Before I was born, all of my days
(10:23):
were numbered. So I can try to be cautious. I
can try to be careful. I can wear a seat belt.
I can not drink and drive. I choose not to
drink at all. There's a lot of things I can
do to try to live a long and healthy life.
But ultimately, God knows exactly how long I'm going to live,
(10:46):
and there is nothing I can do to change that.
There is nothing my husband can do to change that.
If I did not believe that to be true, I
would lose my mind because between my husband and myself,
we have lost three of our boys, three sons. One
(11:07):
was sixteen, one was eighteen, one was twenty nine. And
there is no way to wrap your head around that
unless you believe that there is a higher power. You say,
will he ever be able to forgive me? Forgive you
for what you didn't purposefully hurt him? So forgive yourself
(11:31):
and go live a life that honors him, that celebrates
all the love that he felt for you. Go live
your life fully to honor him. Okay, God bless you.
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
(11:51):
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah. Don't
happy
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Every night on my radio show, we share something called
(00:24):
a Delilah dilemma, where you write to me or you
call me with yours situation and I try to help
you come up with the right solution. Today, we're going
to listen to some of those on this podcast. Tonight's
Delilah's dilemma is somebody who does not want to use
their name. She says, I want do not want my
name said on the air, But I have a dilemma
(00:47):
with a friend. Everyone is saying she's using me. They
say she's talking about me behind my back in unkind ways,
while it is her that has a lot of issues
right now. Currently she has a case with Child Protective
Services because her house is really unsanitary. She doesn't clean
(01:09):
up after her animals, and it's not safe or healthy
for her three children. We've been friends for so long,
but the problems are mounting. Should I walk away from
this friendship? Signed anonymous Anonymous, I will have my mother
Delilah words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
(01:38):
is from someone who says she is feeling used. She
says her friend is talking about her in unkind ways,
while her friend is the one with a lot of
issues right now, Anonymous, you don't say why or how
she is using you. Is she taking advantage of you financially?
Is she asking you to do things for her that
(02:01):
she should in fact be doing herself. Is she saying
unkind things to your face or behind your back? If so,
who is the tattle tale, the gossiper that's running to
you with this information. If she has a case open
with Child Protective Services and she is unable to make
(02:21):
her home sanitary, I would guess she is overwhelmed and
probably battling mental illness. If she is a single mama,
she's got three kids and pets, and she can't keep up,
and so she's probably slipping into a deep depression. Should
you walk away from her? Why would you do that?
(02:44):
If you were going under, if you were drowning in
a sea of problems, would you want your oldest and
dearest friend to walk away from you? Or would you
want that friend to come alongside you and say I
can't fix you. I can't fix this, but I can
hold your hand and walk you through it. Maybe she
(03:05):
needs a team of friends to come and soar through
her house and clean it up and get it in order.
Maybe she needs one or two hours a day without
three children to watch so she can attempt to do that.
Maybe she needs to go to a hospital and be evaluated.
Maybe she is in a mental health crisis. I don't know.
(03:26):
So you can't fix whatever is going on with her,
but you can love her through it and pray her
through it, and talk her and walk her through it.
So if you love her and she's a true friend,
right now, I think she needs you more than ever.
(03:49):
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma sounds like sounds like a chapter out
of a crazy novel or a crazy movie. Somebody writes
to me and says, I am willing to try anything
to reconnect with the love of my life. Last year
we were together, we went through some incredibly hard times.
(04:13):
We suffered a tubal pregnancy and two miscarriages. I've struggled
with depression for many years, and I turned to alcohol.
I was drinking heavily at that point. A coworker made
advances towards me, and that resulted in a brief affair.
(04:34):
I quickly realized that I was making a terrible mistake
and I ended it, and in December I found out
I was once again pregnant. My love and I found
new joy together, but when my coworker claimed the baby
was his, I had to tell my boyfriend about everything,
and though we are together, he mistrusts me. DNA testing
confirms the child that we had tried for so long
(04:57):
to have is indeed his baby. He cannot leave the
affair in the past and is continuously reaching out to
this co worker for information, trying to catch me and lie.
I've been honest with him, but the coworker is being spiteful.
I want nothing more than to raise this child together.
(05:17):
Please help me win back the love of my life,
or at least tell my story so that he can
hear how much he truly means to me and that
I will do anything for him to prove my love.
Thank you so much, from a distraught Heather. Heather, I
will have my very stern Mama, Delilah words for you
coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a young
(05:50):
woman who's a hot mess and is trying to prove
to her sweetheart that she loves him and wants to
have a life with him. Here's the problem I have
with that declaration, Heather. Nowhere in your letter do you
take ownership of your bad choices. You blamed your miscarriages
(06:13):
and your depression for turning to alcohol, and then you
blamed your drinking and the person who made advances towards
you on having an affair. Nowhere in here do I
read I made really bad choices. I'm an alcoholic. I
need to go to AA. I need to not drink again.
(06:34):
I need to make amends for choosing to step outside
of my committed relationship and cheat on my beloved. I
need to fix this. I don't hear you saying that.
I hear you saying what can I do? I will
do anything for him to prove my love. You need
(06:56):
to get help for you and your baby. Of course,
he's trying to catch you in a lie because you've lied.
You were a liar and a cheater. And you say
I've been honest with him, Yes, but you were only
honest with him once you were caught. That's not being honest,
that's just being caught. So if you want to show
(07:16):
him that you are mature and that you are trustworthy,
then act like you are mature and trustworthy by owning
your behavior. Go to AA, get sober, work the steps,
do an honest fourth step. It's hard, It's really, really,
really hard being mature, says I did this. I created
(07:38):
this mess, and I dragged you into it, and I'm sorry,
and I am going to do everything in my power
to do the right thing. I am going to show
you by my actions that I am accountable and that
I love you. If you do that, you may rebuild
(08:00):
the trust. I don't know. But if you don't do that,
you will never rebuild the trust. I guarantee you that
good luck, good luck on your baby and your future,
and may God bless you whatever life brings. Mary writes,
(08:22):
my dear Delilah, I listen to your program every night,
and I have for years. I enjoy the music and
the stories, and I admire your ability to pick the
right songs for each situation. Thank you. My issue is
that I was married for almost twenty years to the
only person I have ever felt real love from. Almost
(08:46):
three years ago, COVID took him from me. I feel
so guilty about that because I was sick first and
I brought it into our home. I had a very
mild case, but it got him so much worse. He
went in to the hospital, but he did not recover.
I had to be the one to give consent to
take him off the ventilator. And that's a burden that's
(09:08):
overwhelming me. I feel like I let him down. I
wonder if he will ever be able to forgive me.
How do I get past this grief and guilt and
continue to live my life? Thank you so much from
a grieving Mary, Mary, I will have my words of support, advice, insight, insight,
(09:32):
That's what it is coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
is from Mary who got sick with COVID. Her husband
then caught it and he did not recover from it,
and she had to give consent to take him off
the ventilator. And now you are feeling overwhelmed with guilt, Mary, Stop. Stop.
(09:59):
Only God gives life and only God takes a life.
And there's a very old book that I believe to
be true that says all of our days are numbered.
Every single day is numbered before a single one comes
to pass. Before I was born, all of my days
(10:23):
were numbered. So I can try to be cautious. I
can try to be careful. I can wear a seat belt.
I can not drink and drive. I choose not to
drink at all. There's a lot of things I can
do to try to live a long and healthy life.
But ultimately, God knows exactly how long I'm going to live,
(10:46):
and there is nothing I can do to change that.
There is nothing my husband can do to change that.
If I did not believe that to be true, I
would lose my mind because between my husband and myself,
we have lost three of our boys, three sons. One
(11:07):
was sixteen, one was eighteen, one was twenty nine. And
there is no way to wrap your head around that
unless you believe that there is a higher power. You say,
will he ever be able to forgive me? Forgive you
for what you didn't purposefully hurt him? So forgive yourself
(11:31):
and go live a life that honors him, that celebrates
all the love that he felt for you. Go live
your life fully to honor him. Okay, God bless you.
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
(11:51):
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey it's Delilah. Don't
happy
Host
Delilah
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!