REARVIEW: Wrong view

Stop looking back. Faceforward and onward! ~ Delilah

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Do you ever find yourself hanging on to memories from yesteryear?

(00:25):
Going back, replaying old conversations, rethinking old relationships. Maybe you
have actual dreams about the person, or the past or
the situation, and you think, if only, if only I
could go back, if only they were in my life now,
And you can't stop thinking about that, even though you're
not in relationship with them, even though you're not seeing them,

(00:49):
that ideal lives on, that fantasy lives on in your mind.
In just a moment, I'm going to talk with a
woman who, for half a century has been going back
and visiting yester year in her mind, despite the fact
that she's married and has a life now. She would

(01:13):
much rather turn back the hand of time. Hi, Peggy,
what can I do for you tonight?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Okay, You're gonna think I'm crazy, but I'm in my
early seventies and I'm in my very first love fifty
two years ago. I think about him every day. He
was my first love, and I will never forget him
as long as I live.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
And did you go on and have subsequent relationships or
a relationship with a true love.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
I'm in my second marriage. I don't know why I
think about this guy. I think about this guy every day.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Would you like to know why?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I'd like to know why.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's kind of a long explanation, but I'd be happy
to tell you if you want to know why. Okay,
have you ever seen a photograph or a good drawing,
a good picture of somebody's brain?

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Do you know how? There's wrinkles in the brain. Every
time we think a thought, it forms a little tiny
wrinkle in our brain matter, and if we think that
thought continuously for a day or two, the wrinkle gets deeper.

(02:31):
So when you're fighting to quit smoking, or when you're
fighting to quit drinking, or in my case, quit eating
sugar and white flour, the problem isn't just physical. The
problem is my brain, for the last sixty plus years,
has become accustomed to thinking, I'm kind of kind of bored.

(02:51):
Let me go eat something that's me.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
That's me.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Your brain when it's stressed, when it's tired, when it's lonely,
when it's whatever. Our brain wants to go to a
place that's peaceful and for you, you have developed the
pattern of going back to yesteryear.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, well that's true. And I have a lot of
trauma and stuff in my life and I think about
I guess that's the reason why.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah, because it's a happy place. It's a safe place,
and it's the place your brain goes to so it
doesn't have to deal with the trauma or the sadness
or whatever is going on in the here and now.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
I want to really do a britishate you talking to me.
It makes me feel better, makes me wonder why I
do it. But I just it's been fifty two years
since I seeing the.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Guy Peggy, Peggy, Peggy. I understand he trust me, I do.
I can tell that you are a loving person. You
asked for my advice, though, so now listen, your solution
does not involve a person and you've not seen or
spoken to in over half a century. Your answer is

(04:08):
right in front of you. Learn to love the life
you're living. If you don't like an aspect of your life,
change it and stop running to this imaginary place in
your mind when there's real love and real life right
in front of you. I'm going to find a song
that honors you because I think that you are an

(04:31):
incredibly loving woman and you deserve a happy, joy filled life.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Thanks to Laule, I really do appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Okay, thank you, Peggy, you have a great night. Hi,
you've called the Delilah shall Who is this?

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Hi? This is Ryan?

Speaker 1 (04:55):
What can I do for you?

Speaker 3 (04:57):
So? I heard the story earlier of the gentleman who
I had some stuff in the past, and you know,
it was kind of negative as already, and it just
really like kind of inspired me because you know, I've
had the same thing, but I'm with this wonderful woman
now and they just you know, inspired me to go
ahead just call and try to make a dedication to it.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
So are you talking about the conversation I had with
somebody who couldn't let go of the past?

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Yeah? Yeah, I guess those negative things that happened to
him in the past, and I've had the same thing,
you know what I mean. So it's just kind of
was like, I feel for the guy and I was
kind of in the same boat. But I'm just I'm
doing my best, you know, making those changes to be
more positive and not dwell. On you know, oh this,
this is eventually gonna happen, and just that this is

(05:39):
a good relationship, and that Marabelle, that's my girlfriend. Now
that we love each other so deeply and there's nothing
that can break us apart.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Good for you, Good for you? You know? Do you
know how that thrills my heart to hear you say that?

Speaker 3 (05:55):
It feels good.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
I have seen so many people destroy the here and now,
the gift that God has given them in love or
friendships or healthy loving relationships, and they blow them up
because they're looking backwards at the past, going well, what if, Well,
what if that happens again? Well what if this one
cheats on me? Well what if? And and because the

(06:18):
past was painful, they destroy the present.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
It's not easy, but you know it's you. Just work
at it and work at it and try to be better.
I mean that's really all we can do.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
God bless you, good luck son. I will play a
great song for you in your sweetheart.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Thank you, bye bye, Byie.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
I don't live with regrets. I've made a lot of
bad choices, but through it all I have seen God's
love and God's grace, and my life is so good
that to beat myself up over bad choices doesn't make
much sense. This letter comes from a listener who can't
seem to forgive herself. She says, my story happened twenty

(07:09):
six years ago. I met a man I had worked
with in Dallas. I was eighteen, he was twenty one.
We fell in love. I loved Dan to this day.
But I was the one who messed up so horribly.
He once told me a story about his mother just
growing tired of his father, and she left. She just left. Eventually,

(07:31):
his father remarried a younger woman and had a child together. Unfortunately,
his mother realized her mistake too late, but she had
lost her love forever. I remember that story all these
years later because I have followed in her footsteps. I
so wish I could roll back time. I found Dan
on the internet. I wrote to him, but he's not

(07:53):
written back, and that breaks my heart. I do hope
he's found happiness in his life, and someday, hopefully I
will find mine. Could you please find a song for
this story. Thanks for listening, and take care, Kathleen. Stop
looking back. God has a wonderful plan for your future.
You can't live in the past. Look forward and wait

(08:17):
to see what is going to unfold in your future.
I promise you, I promise you, if.

Speaker 4 (08:23):
You'll just have a little faith, your life will unful
in a beautiful way.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Hi, Danny, this is Delilah. What can I do for you?

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Okay, it happened, he like thirty years ago. I met
this gun and we were madly in love. But every
time she will call to my house, my mother and
my sister would tell him that I wasn't there, when
you know, I used to tell her that I was there,
and I lost contact with her. She always thought I

(09:00):
was fooling around and this and that, but I never
fooled a round of her. And I love her. And
it's been thirty years already, and I'm always looking for her,
trying to find her. But I have never got a
chance to talk to her and tell her the truth
of what happened.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Right, But that was thirty years ago, a lifetime ago,
and you're hanging on to sadness or sorrow or wishing
that things had been different, when if God wanted those
things to be different, they would have been different.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
Right.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
When you drive a vehicle which is bigger your window
that you look out in the front the windshield or
your rear view mirror. The wind Shit, it's good to
check the rear view mirror. You've got to check your
rearview mirror to make sure that some fool's not driving
too fast and running up behind you. Right right, But

(09:55):
you're not sitting there looking in your rear view mirror
trying to figure out where you're going. That's not the
direction you're going, right, Honey, If you're spending all your
time and energy thinking about dreaming about longing for wondering
about somebody from thirty years ago, you are wasting your
precious present worrying about something from the past. Right, don't

(10:20):
miss out on blessings right before you because you're thinking
about a situation that happened three decades ago. I so
hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as
I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with
you each weekend on Hey It's Delilah.