S3E81, Delilah Dilemmas

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Come on in and make yourself at home as we

(00:22):
share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when
people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and
need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay
tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is
from somebody I'm gonna call Teresa, not her real name. Teresa,

(00:47):
not her real name, says Delilah. I'm in love. I
met him in November. His girlfriend of two years had
just left him. We were friends at first, but I
fell for him eventually. I know he's starts did to
fall for me too. His girlfriend came back to him,
and now we all live together together, the three of them.

(01:12):
Their relationship is toxic. They call each other names and
argue every single day. She threatens to leave him every
other day but never does. And I still love him
though he completely ignores me. What should I do? I
want to hate him, I want to move on, but
my love just doesn't go away because I wanted to.

(01:35):
What should I do? Delilah Teresa seriously. We will have
a chat coming up next Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from Casey.
She says, my fiance and I have known each other
for ten years. Two years ago, we welcomed our son,

(01:56):
who has brought us so much love and laughter. My
soon to be father and law, who I've recently started
calling my monster in law, has been going behind our
backs and talking badly to our family about our parenting skills.
My parents are not impressed with him at all. They
know we're great parents. We do so much for our
son and give him all the things he needs. We

(02:18):
arrange family outings together. It doesn't seem like a lot,
but we don't have a lot of money. We go
to the park, we have picnics, we play on the playground.
We take a family trip to the toy store and
let him pick out one toy. We do everything we
can for him, but monster in law puts us down
because we don't have a lot of money. He tells
people we cannot properly care for our son. We live

(02:41):
with my family in a home they have built. It's
a nice house, and we have our own apartment downstairs.
I'm tired of being told I'm a bad parent because
I don't have any money. Our family is being torn apart.
What do I do? I thought love was about happiness,
not about money, Casey. I will share my response to
you coming up netxt. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Casey,

(03:13):
who has a two year old son and her fiance's
father is meddlin in their family business. Casey, here's the thing.
He can only tear apart your family and steal your
joy if you let him. If what he is saying
is nonsense, and according to your letter it is, ignore him.
He can only take your joy or affect you if

(03:35):
you allow his nonsense to seep into your relationship. So
when he starts putting you down, when he goes behind
your back and underminds you, just ignore it. Clearly, if
you are in love with your son and going to
parks and having fun and engaged with this child, you

(03:57):
are a loving parent. Now. If there's things you're not
telling me that have nothing to do with money, that's
another story. But it sounds to me like you just
need to You're not going to shut this man up
because he's a meddler, and people like that never shut up.
They never change. You can't change them. You need to
say the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to

(04:18):
accept the things I cannot change. You can't change your
father in law, the courage to change the things I can.
You can change the way you receive his information you
can ignore it, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Good luck. Tonight's letter comes from William, who says I'm

(04:40):
currently living with my girlfriend, who I care for deeply. Recently,
she has allowed her grown son to move back home.
Now it's her house, and I did sell my place
so we could live together. The son also brings two
small boys with him that are well small boys. I
haven't been in a relationship in a very long time

(05:02):
and have to confess that I'm a five and a
half year recovering alcoholic. I wasn't looking for all this
drama in this relationship, but I don't want to lose
her either. Any advice for me from William, Yes, William,
I will share my words of wisdom and love for
you coming up next. Tonight's letter is from a man

(05:29):
who sold his house so he could move in with
his beloved. After he did so, she allowed her grown
son and her two grandkids to move in with him,
and the house is a little crowded. William's got five
and a half years recovery and didn't plan on all
this drama. William, guess what, that's life. Life has drama,
and your recovery program should help you to deal with

(05:51):
that and to roll with the flow, to take it
one day at a time. If you go to your meetings,
if you talk to your sponsor, if you find a
place of peace a haven there at home, then you're
gonna make it through this. If you can't, if there
is too much drama, if the grown Sun is there
because he's using, or if the children are not disciplined

(06:12):
and given structure, and it's too much drama, then you
got to take care of you. You got to put
your oxygen mask on first before you help somebody else.
And if taking care of you means you've got to
find another place to live away from that. If the
Sun is the grown Sun is healthy and mature and
responsible and caring for his children, then you need to

(06:33):
learn to roll with life. If it's drama, trauma, chaos, insanity,
fighting kids marking all over couches, spilling cereal in the
living room because nobody's teaching them to eat at the table.
Then you got to take care of you, and that
may mean a change of address. I so hope you
have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I enjoy

(06:55):
bringing them to you. I'll share more with you each
weekday on Hey It's Delilah. The