November 21, 2023 • 21 mins
Rude Jude, DJ and host of Eminem's Shade 45, tells a terrifying tale of demonic possession after consuming a heroic dose of hallucinogenic mushrooms. Did he unlock the gates of hell; attaching a demon to his soul or did he just go stark raving mad and lose his mind? Either way something awful happened.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hmm. There's a place beyond this place, a middle ground
between the light and the darkness, the natire and the zenith.
For some it's a bridge between the living and the dead.
Yet for others, it's something else entirely, it's the place
(00:21):
where our nightmares dwell. Each one of us has touched
the other side and felt the presence of something beyond
this world.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Faces in the house, I don't recognize looking in emeracy,
the devil's eyes mixing too much. I mean, I get
crazy now I'm back alone on my Patrick Sway.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Ghost gave it everything and only took her. Oh yes,
the parasite is looking Fuck ho did you so the
minic find it? Does you sew the sign and side.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
That you ain't never met again?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Today on Hip Hop Horror Stories, we have Detroit Native
and Shade, four or five hosts, Rude Jude with a
dark taiale of demonic possession from the Motor City. Was
the evil just in his mind or was he truly possessed?
Find out next.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
So like the first time I did mushrooms, I was
on my homeboy Jinks and we didn't know how many
we were supposed to do, so we did a lot.
We did a bunch probably shit like an eighth each.
Damn there. We was really really gone. And this was
(01:50):
twenty five years ago, twenty six years ago, something like that.
It was Friday, and I scored a bunch of mushrooms
from this kid and I hollered at because we both
had the night off. Somehow we worked at a restaurant together.
He was running the house, I was. I was in
front of the house waiting tables, and I got them
a job back in the house.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
So we was both somehow we both miracules.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Got this ship and I got drugs, and he's got
he's got to vehicle, so an explorer.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
So we dose and he's screaming, and it's like it's
it's it's it's a fall night. It's it's it's probably
about this time of year. It's probably this time of year, like.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
In October November, late October November, Chris leaves, some of
the leaves are down, have fallen, and and I'm in
the Midwest. I'm by Detroit, so it's like the trees
look like skeletons. All of the different drugs really didn't
(02:54):
reach the black community at that point, you know, it
was just mostly like I don't know, crack and heroin
and maybe some PCP and weed and shit. So showing
up with psychedelics from my homeboy it was kind of
mind blowing for him.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
It was it.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Was like looking at his hand, looking at his tattoos,
like the grim repri was coming out of his skin
and all that shit. So I'm like, man, let's go
holler some chicks, because just us two sitting in this
apartment probably wasn't the best idea. So we go out
from Pontiac. We drive out to the Nose and we
(03:35):
drive around, and we drive around Pontiac and this is
a rust belt city.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
It's gutted. There's nothing. There's just nothing there out of
the roads. And I remember, like.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
We're at a stoplight driving up and the fucking shopping
carts kind of rolled by itself down past us and.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Fucking stock in the street. And we laugh. We're like,
hell no, what the fuck? What the fuck is this ship?
He hops out the car, he moves it.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
When he went ouside to go all of his girls,
he just left me there and like, there's nothing like
me in a closed space in the dark while you're
tripping for the first fucking time, like it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
You don't know what you're gonna get. You don't know
what you're gonna get.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
You don't like tripping a tripples wild until you do it,
then you know what you expect. And when you start
mushrooms from me, there's a heavy feeling. It almost feels
like something's pouring over me. Sometimes like acid is lighter,
it's more like it's more there's more of an agitated feeling.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Mushrooms not like that.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
It's like kind of laid back and you can feel
it pouring over you. So I got that pouring over
me feeling like and I hear you just wrapping like
drive off busses on, and I'm just kind of nodding
in it, almost like you're almost kind of halfway done.
And then you're adrenaline kicks in because that's what you're doing.
You're poisoning yourself. So your adrenaline kicks in once that
(05:10):
shit starts going, and I'm like kind of up and
I'm like, damn, s motherfucker's taking a minute, you know,
like a few songs are gone by.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Meanwhile he's in there.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
I guess he was telling me he was trying to
talk to him, and but parramid started shooting off of
his hands, so he really didn't do much job. He
stuck with that. So I'm out in that car and
when I shut my eyes, I remember the forgot about this.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
So the lights. The car drives by.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
And there's the red there's the red lights that turn
into two eyeballs staring at ship. I shut my eyes
and there's a fluorescent I see a fluorescent river of
skulls going down like like a waterfall from my right
eye to my left eye, just going that way, and
(06:04):
uh like, I shake it off like hell fucking no,
a lot of hell offs, a lot of I'm just.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Saying, hell of a lot, like hell, motherfucking lawn dog.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
And I flip it down, flip down, up the advisor
just to take it.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Look like, yo, what the fuck is going on? I'm
like rubbing my eyes.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I'm rubbing my face and I'm looking at myself and
my dad starts looking back.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
At me, and I'm like, shit, man. So that's when
I shut my eyes.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
And it's fluorescent still, and it's like I'm a child,
and I'm like I'm going back to.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
A child, and I'm being grady and rocked like this demon,
this demonic entity. I like my face. I'm looking at
my face and it turned into my dad's face. Oh shit.
And you know, there's.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Nothing scarier than looking like your old man, because it's
the last you know, that's the last thing you want
to end up being, like, right, you wants to be
their dad.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So I'm like, I shake it off, and I shut
my eyes.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
And because I can't even see it in my in
my head right now as I'm telling.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
You, it's uh.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
I was being cradled by a demon, like a straight
up demon was cradling me like to its bosom, and.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I was like, hell no, man, what the fun was that?
And I wasn't scared or anything. I was just like
ship man being cradled by a fucking demon.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
I think I said, hell no, that said demons, and
I just.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Just kind of left it at that.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
And I never really thought anything of it, except for
the first time I tripped balls. I was chilling with demons,
but I wasn't afraid. I just was just a matter
of fact.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
That's like.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Twenty some years later, maybe fifteen twenty years later, and
now I'm living in Los Angeles and I got a job.
I'm I'm working with serious I'm gonna shake forty five.
And I went to like one of the psychic fairs
for the show, and you know, you should just try
(08:25):
to find an interesting guest, so maybe some topics to
talk about something like that, you know, just I'm not
really into this whole psychics thing.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
The problem with the psychic thing to me is like.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
It's so easy, Like if you agree to go to
a psychic, you're paying, You're showing them that, like, hey,
I believe this, Like whether whether you say you believe
it or not, You're giving them money and time to
listen to them. You're giving that some And the problem
with it is to me is like they can they
can plant they can plant ideas in your head and
change the future for you. So because you're not going
(08:59):
to it's the future the way you might have. So
keep that in mind. So I'm like, all right, man,
let me I'll talk to a psyche.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
So I sit down.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
She's like, what do you want to know about? And
I was like, man, I don't know. Man, I'm just
keep it light. I'm here for my job. And she's talking.
I forgot what the fuck she was saying. It's you know,
stupid things. And then she was like, you have a
demon next to you. I said what she said, Yeah,
(09:27):
you got a demon?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
And he's laughing.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
He's laughing, and he's keep that demon next to you
when he rides he rides to demon, rides you with
a crop, and he's got you almost to die. He's
almost made you die countless times. And it was like
it was a punch in the heart. You know, you
(09:51):
always feel like you got one, you know sometimes, but
is it something supernatural or is it just like moods?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
You know?
Speaker 5 (10:02):
Is it just is this just moods or something supernatural?
And I like, I thought back to all those times
when you know, I trip balls countless times since then,
and there's been times where I be with myself and
get kind of freaked out by myself and have to
go walk away from just being alone and go, I
(10:23):
don't know, watch television, can't look at the mirror because
something darker is there with me. And when she said that,
like all of that stuff, and I'm like, man, nah,
it's she's tripping. Man, I don't got a fucking demon,
(10:47):
you know, I just I just got I got moods,
I got depression. Maybe I don't even like to say depressing.
No more like because like that cripples you too, And
and I'm like, nah, man, oh yeah, And it was
like your dad, I forgot that ship. She was like yeah,
(11:09):
and the demon, the demon is this is something that
this is passed down on your father's side. Your dad
must have done something awful. Dad did something awful, and
my dad has done awful and his dad's gone off
of things.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
To me, I was like, whose father hasn't you know
the fine awful We've all done awful things, but my dad,
you know, he's done. He's done some fucking some ship
to stain the soul. And uh.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
When she said down, I was just like, I don't
know if this bitch is cherry picking or what, but
it hit me in my heart and the only the
only thing, you know, I'm sitting there like I just
wanted to. I just wanted this fucking woman to, like,
I don't know, tell me to stay away from a
(12:12):
guy named Bob or some shit like that, or you know,
you psychic lady like hey, seven's your lucky number? Better
on that ship something like that, don't take this next strip,
and you know I'm sitting here was this weird existential
crisis about demons in my life.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Thinking about.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Thinking about the crazy ship that I've done where I've
almost lost control of myself or or watched myself who
was control observed myself almost like I wasn't myself as
I fucking turned into a maniac.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
And then was that the demon? Was?
Speaker 5 (12:51):
That was that me? Or was at the demon? And uh,
the only thing that the only thing that made me
feel better was like at the end of it, she
was like, ah, I can get rid of them for
you for one hundred dollars more, and I was like, no,
(13:12):
I'm good, and.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Her greed.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Gave me solace, Like maybe this bitch was like because
who in her right mind would allow somebody to walk
around with a demon.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
And put a price on that.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
It felt fucking crazy because it's like I'm being cradled
by a demon, and like, I imagine it felt okay,
but I also.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Realizing it was a demon.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
So it's kind of a mixed bag here, you know,
it wasn't it didn't feel like fucking I didn't feel
like a mother's love.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
It wasn't like this thing. I wasn't hit with all
these dope, like all this dope of me, because if
I was, I don't if it felt that good, I
would have kept my eyes shut, you know what I mean,
Like I felt.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
That good on drugs and like if and if I'm like, oh,
if I just keep my eyest, that's gonna feel really good,
you know what I mean. Like it wasn't there, It
didn't feel bad, you know, And I recognized it for
what it was, and I was and I was able
to and as my eyes were shot, I was like, oh,
hell no, that's the demon. And then this is all
the things I'm saying a lot. I'm like, I'm getting
(14:23):
cradled by dem I'm gonna rock by a demon.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Hell no.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
And then I opened my eyes and was like, all right,
I'm good on that. I don't really want that anymore.
So I might have a demon.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I don't know. I know I got issues. I'll tell
you that much. I know I got issues. It would
be like every April.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
It was crazy when I was growing up as a kid,
Like every Spring, without failure.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
I would do I would lose my ship.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
And just do something to fucking ruin things for myself,
whether it be at school or out and about who
would be like I would lose my handle on things,
and and uh, I don't know, maybe at school where
I could just lose my ship. I started screaming all
(15:16):
the teachers and like fucking doing wild things. And as
it was happening, I would.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Watch myself.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Like like it wasn't even a part of Like I
just watched myself and I would be abused. I'm like,
all right, doing it again, let's go, let's go. I'm
fucking fighting with the principal. I don't tuss lit and
just do them five and I'm throwing them down. I
remember like all this back. That's when I came to
I was like, oh shit, just slam you just slammed
(15:49):
your principal on the back.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
But I watched myself.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
For minutes minutes, not just like oh I just lost
it for a second, just for minutes, leave myself and
it's like always time to go break things.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
When that was said, and you know, I had a.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
I'm odd on drugs and plenty of times.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
And more time since that second, you know.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
So figuratively speaking, one would argue that I do have
my demons more so than a lot of people. Let's
say we're gonna talk like it's there Okay, I think
it's I think it's the ladder. Now. It's funny that
you say that, because I was after my father died
(16:42):
and I had a couple of years ago, and I
just had a hell of a time mourning him. You know,
I don't know if you ever ever had to be
the head of the household, And it's like I had
to turn all my motions off and like just handle
and I never was able to turn it back on.
So I'm like, now, I got the death of my
(17:03):
father's dog and me and we had a complicated relationship.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I'm not gonna fucking throw them under the bus.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
But when she said her dad did fucked up things
to get demons out, I didn't say no, he didn't.
I was like, Okay, that makes sense. So I'm dealing
with that, and I'm going through these bouts of insomnia
where I'm up for days until I'm hallucinating and I'm.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Trying to self medicate.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
I'm doing all this crazy shit just trying to get
myself down, and I end up like oding twice. I
almost die just from getting value off the street. Just
like I've been doing drugs for fun for my whole
fucking life.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Right for a lot of my life. And it's like
the times that I'm like almost dying and.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Ended up waking up an er is like when I
just want to go to bed, like I'm not even
trying to party.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
I'm just trying to be re sit for the show
for my radio show the next day, you know.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
So basically they end up giving me these It gives
me Sarah quoll to sleep. I d I'm having to
go to rehab just to get Sarah could blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
You know whatever, you tighten it up however you want.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
So they give me Sarah Call to sleep, and I
start having I thought the house was haunted because whenever
I would take the pill, I started having these crazy
hallucinations where bubbles would form in the like clear bubbles,
sudsy bubbles would form in the corners of the room
and build out, and then they would they would like
(18:36):
it was almost like they had a mind, and they
would attack me. And it's and it went on and
like whenever I would take the Serah quill, that would happen,
and it was.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
And it's that thing. It's like, is the Sarah quote
dropping my guard?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
So I'm into where I'm looking into another dimension or
is it causing a hallucination? And I spent a whole
summer like freak the fuck out, afraid, afraid to go
to sleep.
Speaker 7 (19:02):
Because like who fuck who's afraid of bubbles? Like it's
it's the most Monday, Like it's the bubbles, but like
these well buff when bubbles have their own ideas and
bubbles start fucking and I and I've tripped balls.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
This wasn't like any other hallucination.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
These things had their own they seem had their own
deal going out, so they're shooting at me.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
I'm freaking out.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
I won't go into my bedroom when I'm sleeping on
the couch, and now I don't.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
I don't like to go to sleep until until until.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
It's light out. And the thing that fucked me up
was these bubbles are going crazy in my downstairs. They're
all over the place. Everything's coverable bubbles. I'm trying to
film it, you know, it's not picking up. And I
go outside and the hallucination stop. There's no bubbles outside.
(19:55):
It doesn't follow me, it doesn't track everything's in my house.
And I look back in through the window when the
bubbles are going fucking crazy, and that's odd if you're
tripping balls, if you've ever done acid, if you don't
acid or anything like that, it tracks This shit was normal, though.
And then I turned back around and I look at
my house and it's fucking like Peeley's playhouse in that bitch.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Man, fuck me up. I was like, I was like, God,
the fuck off of that. But it made me think
about the whole demon shit differently, you know. I It's like,
damn dog, like, could it be.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
This motherfucker's on another plane. There's tons of shit that's
going on that we can't see. It's because we can't
measure it or can't prove it.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
The line between good and evil is a thin one.
For Jude, that line was something he lived with every day.
Were his demons supernatural or were his demons psychological? At
a certain point, what difference does it make when you're
losing your mind. It seems the only way to deal
with it was to make peace with what was inside
(21:05):
his soul. And except that whatever was inside of him
would remain there.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
It could never get a red No, it could never
get a road.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Do.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
It could never get around, It could never get a
road
Hmm. There's a place beyond this place, a middle ground
between the light and the darkness, the natire and the zenith.
For some it's a bridge between the living and the dead.
Yet for others, it's something else entirely, it's the place
(00:21):
where our nightmares dwell. Each one of us has touched
the other side and felt the presence of something beyond
this world.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Faces in the house, I don't recognize looking in emeracy,
the devil's eyes mixing too much. I mean, I get
crazy now I'm back alone on my Patrick Sway.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Ghost gave it everything and only took her. Oh yes,
the parasite is looking Fuck ho did you so the
minic find it? Does you sew the sign and side.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
That you ain't never met again?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Today on Hip Hop Horror Stories, we have Detroit Native
and Shade, four or five hosts, Rude Jude with a
dark taiale of demonic possession from the Motor City. Was
the evil just in his mind or was he truly possessed?
Find out next.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
So like the first time I did mushrooms, I was
on my homeboy Jinks and we didn't know how many
we were supposed to do, so we did a lot.
We did a bunch probably shit like an eighth each.
Damn there. We was really really gone. And this was
(01:50):
twenty five years ago, twenty six years ago, something like that.
It was Friday, and I scored a bunch of mushrooms
from this kid and I hollered at because we both
had the night off. Somehow we worked at a restaurant together.
He was running the house, I was. I was in
front of the house waiting tables, and I got them
a job back in the house.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
So we was both somehow we both miracules.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Got this ship and I got drugs, and he's got
he's got to vehicle, so an explorer.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
So we dose and he's screaming, and it's like it's
it's it's it's a fall night. It's it's it's probably
about this time of year. It's probably this time of year, like.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
In October November, late October November, Chris leaves, some of
the leaves are down, have fallen, and and I'm in
the Midwest. I'm by Detroit, so it's like the trees
look like skeletons. All of the different drugs really didn't
(02:54):
reach the black community at that point, you know, it
was just mostly like I don't know, crack and heroin
and maybe some PCP and weed and shit. So showing
up with psychedelics from my homeboy it was kind of
mind blowing for him.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
It was it.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Was like looking at his hand, looking at his tattoos,
like the grim repri was coming out of his skin
and all that shit. So I'm like, man, let's go
holler some chicks, because just us two sitting in this
apartment probably wasn't the best idea. So we go out
from Pontiac. We drive out to the Nose and we
(03:35):
drive around, and we drive around Pontiac and this is
a rust belt city.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
It's gutted. There's nothing. There's just nothing there out of
the roads. And I remember, like.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
We're at a stoplight driving up and the fucking shopping
carts kind of rolled by itself down past us and.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Fucking stock in the street. And we laugh. We're like,
hell no, what the fuck? What the fuck is this ship?
He hops out the car, he moves it.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
When he went ouside to go all of his girls,
he just left me there and like, there's nothing like
me in a closed space in the dark while you're
tripping for the first fucking time, like it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
You don't know what you're gonna get. You don't know
what you're gonna get.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
You don't like tripping a tripples wild until you do it,
then you know what you expect. And when you start
mushrooms from me, there's a heavy feeling. It almost feels
like something's pouring over me. Sometimes like acid is lighter,
it's more like it's more there's more of an agitated feeling.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Mushrooms not like that.
Speaker 5 (04:48):
It's like kind of laid back and you can feel
it pouring over you. So I got that pouring over
me feeling like and I hear you just wrapping like
drive off busses on, and I'm just kind of nodding
in it, almost like you're almost kind of halfway done.
And then you're adrenaline kicks in because that's what you're doing.
You're poisoning yourself. So your adrenaline kicks in once that
(05:10):
shit starts going, and I'm like kind of up and
I'm like, damn, s motherfucker's taking a minute, you know,
like a few songs are gone by.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Meanwhile he's in there.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
I guess he was telling me he was trying to
talk to him, and but parramid started shooting off of
his hands, so he really didn't do much job. He
stuck with that. So I'm out in that car and
when I shut my eyes, I remember the forgot about this.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
So the lights. The car drives by.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
And there's the red there's the red lights that turn
into two eyeballs staring at ship. I shut my eyes
and there's a fluorescent I see a fluorescent river of
skulls going down like like a waterfall from my right
eye to my left eye, just going that way, and
(06:04):
uh like, I shake it off like hell fucking no,
a lot of hell offs, a lot of I'm just.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Saying, hell of a lot, like hell, motherfucking lawn dog.
Speaker 5 (06:14):
And I flip it down, flip down, up the advisor
just to take it.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Look like, yo, what the fuck is going on? I'm
like rubbing my eyes.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I'm rubbing my face and I'm looking at myself and
my dad starts looking back.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
At me, and I'm like, shit, man. So that's when
I shut my eyes.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
And it's fluorescent still, and it's like I'm a child,
and I'm like I'm going back to.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
A child, and I'm being grady and rocked like this demon,
this demonic entity. I like my face. I'm looking at
my face and it turned into my dad's face. Oh shit.
And you know, there's.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Nothing scarier than looking like your old man, because it's
the last you know, that's the last thing you want
to end up being, like, right, you wants to be
their dad.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So I'm like, I shake it off, and I shut
my eyes.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
And because I can't even see it in my in
my head right now as I'm telling.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
You, it's uh.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
I was being cradled by a demon, like a straight
up demon was cradling me like to its bosom, and.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I was like, hell no, man, what the fun was that?
And I wasn't scared or anything. I was just like
ship man being cradled by a fucking demon.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
I think I said, hell no, that said demons, and
I just.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Just kind of left it at that.
Speaker 5 (07:46):
And I never really thought anything of it, except for
the first time I tripped balls. I was chilling with demons,
but I wasn't afraid. I just was just a matter
of fact.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
That's like.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Twenty some years later, maybe fifteen twenty years later, and
now I'm living in Los Angeles and I got a job.
I'm I'm working with serious I'm gonna shake forty five.
And I went to like one of the psychic fairs
for the show, and you know, you should just try
(08:25):
to find an interesting guest, so maybe some topics to
talk about something like that, you know, just I'm not
really into this whole psychics thing.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
The problem with the psychic thing to me is like.
Speaker 5 (08:36):
It's so easy, Like if you agree to go to
a psychic, you're paying, You're showing them that, like, hey,
I believe this, Like whether whether you say you believe
it or not, You're giving them money and time to
listen to them. You're giving that some And the problem
with it is to me is like they can they
can plant they can plant ideas in your head and
change the future for you. So because you're not going
(08:59):
to it's the future the way you might have. So
keep that in mind. So I'm like, all right, man,
let me I'll talk to a psyche.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
So I sit down.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
She's like, what do you want to know about? And
I was like, man, I don't know. Man, I'm just
keep it light. I'm here for my job. And she's talking.
I forgot what the fuck she was saying. It's you know,
stupid things. And then she was like, you have a
demon next to you. I said what she said, Yeah,
(09:27):
you got a demon?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
And he's laughing.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
He's laughing, and he's keep that demon next to you
when he rides he rides to demon, rides you with
a crop, and he's got you almost to die. He's
almost made you die countless times. And it was like
it was a punch in the heart. You know, you
(09:51):
always feel like you got one, you know sometimes, but
is it something supernatural or is it just like moods?
Speaker 4 (10:01):
You know?
Speaker 5 (10:02):
Is it just is this just moods or something supernatural?
And I like, I thought back to all those times
when you know, I trip balls countless times since then,
and there's been times where I be with myself and
get kind of freaked out by myself and have to
go walk away from just being alone and go, I
(10:23):
don't know, watch television, can't look at the mirror because
something darker is there with me. And when she said that,
like all of that stuff, and I'm like, man, nah,
it's she's tripping. Man, I don't got a fucking demon,
(10:47):
you know, I just I just got I got moods,
I got depression. Maybe I don't even like to say depressing.
No more like because like that cripples you too, And
and I'm like, nah, man, oh yeah, And it was
like your dad, I forgot that ship. She was like yeah,
(11:09):
and the demon, the demon is this is something that
this is passed down on your father's side. Your dad
must have done something awful. Dad did something awful, and
my dad has done awful and his dad's gone off
of things.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
To me, I was like, whose father hasn't you know
the fine awful We've all done awful things, but my dad,
you know, he's done. He's done some fucking some ship
to stain the soul. And uh.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
When she said down, I was just like, I don't
know if this bitch is cherry picking or what, but
it hit me in my heart and the only the
only thing, you know, I'm sitting there like I just
wanted to. I just wanted this fucking woman to, like,
I don't know, tell me to stay away from a
(12:12):
guy named Bob or some shit like that, or you know,
you psychic lady like hey, seven's your lucky number? Better
on that ship something like that, don't take this next strip,
and you know I'm sitting here was this weird existential
crisis about demons in my life.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
Thinking about.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Thinking about the crazy ship that I've done where I've
almost lost control of myself or or watched myself who
was control observed myself almost like I wasn't myself as
I fucking turned into a maniac.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
And then was that the demon? Was?
Speaker 5 (12:51):
That was that me? Or was at the demon? And uh,
the only thing that the only thing that made me
feel better was like at the end of it, she
was like, ah, I can get rid of them for
you for one hundred dollars more, and I was like, no,
(13:12):
I'm good, and.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Her greed.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Gave me solace, Like maybe this bitch was like because
who in her right mind would allow somebody to walk
around with a demon.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
And put a price on that.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
It felt fucking crazy because it's like I'm being cradled
by a demon, and like, I imagine it felt okay,
but I also.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Realizing it was a demon.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
So it's kind of a mixed bag here, you know,
it wasn't it didn't feel like fucking I didn't feel
like a mother's love.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
It wasn't like this thing. I wasn't hit with all
these dope, like all this dope of me, because if
I was, I don't if it felt that good, I
would have kept my eyes shut, you know what I mean,
Like I felt.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
That good on drugs and like if and if I'm like, oh,
if I just keep my eyest, that's gonna feel really good,
you know what I mean. Like it wasn't there, It
didn't feel bad, you know, And I recognized it for
what it was, and I was and I was able
to and as my eyes were shot, I was like, oh,
hell no, that's the demon. And then this is all
the things I'm saying a lot. I'm like, I'm getting
(14:23):
cradled by dem I'm gonna rock by a demon.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Hell no.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
And then I opened my eyes and was like, all right,
I'm good on that. I don't really want that anymore.
So I might have a demon.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I don't know. I know I got issues. I'll tell
you that much. I know I got issues. It would
be like every April.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
It was crazy when I was growing up as a kid,
Like every Spring, without failure.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
I would do I would lose my ship.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
And just do something to fucking ruin things for myself,
whether it be at school or out and about who
would be like I would lose my handle on things,
and and uh, I don't know, maybe at school where
I could just lose my ship. I started screaming all
(15:16):
the teachers and like fucking doing wild things. And as
it was happening, I would.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Watch myself.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Like like it wasn't even a part of Like I
just watched myself and I would be abused. I'm like,
all right, doing it again, let's go, let's go. I'm
fucking fighting with the principal. I don't tuss lit and
just do them five and I'm throwing them down. I
remember like all this back. That's when I came to
I was like, oh shit, just slam you just slammed
(15:49):
your principal on the back.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
But I watched myself.
Speaker 6 (15:54):
For minutes minutes, not just like oh I just lost
it for a second, just for minutes, leave myself and
it's like always time to go break things.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
When that was said, and you know, I had a.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
I'm odd on drugs and plenty of times.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
And more time since that second, you know.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
So figuratively speaking, one would argue that I do have
my demons more so than a lot of people. Let's
say we're gonna talk like it's there Okay, I think
it's I think it's the ladder. Now. It's funny that
you say that, because I was after my father died
(16:42):
and I had a couple of years ago, and I
just had a hell of a time mourning him. You know,
I don't know if you ever ever had to be
the head of the household, And it's like I had
to turn all my motions off and like just handle
and I never was able to turn it back on.
So I'm like, now, I got the death of my
(17:03):
father's dog and me and we had a complicated relationship.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
I'm not gonna fucking throw them under the bus.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
But when she said her dad did fucked up things
to get demons out, I didn't say no, he didn't.
I was like, Okay, that makes sense. So I'm dealing
with that, and I'm going through these bouts of insomnia
where I'm up for days until I'm hallucinating and I'm.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Trying to self medicate.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
I'm doing all this crazy shit just trying to get
myself down, and I end up like oding twice. I
almost die just from getting value off the street. Just
like I've been doing drugs for fun for my whole
fucking life.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Right for a lot of my life. And it's like
the times that I'm like almost dying and.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
Ended up waking up an er is like when I
just want to go to bed, like I'm not even
trying to party.
Speaker 4 (17:59):
I'm just trying to be re sit for the show
for my radio show the next day, you know.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
So basically they end up giving me these It gives
me Sarah quoll to sleep. I d I'm having to
go to rehab just to get Sarah could blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
You know whatever, you tighten it up however you want.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
So they give me Sarah Call to sleep, and I
start having I thought the house was haunted because whenever
I would take the pill, I started having these crazy
hallucinations where bubbles would form in the like clear bubbles,
sudsy bubbles would form in the corners of the room
and build out, and then they would they would like
(18:36):
it was almost like they had a mind, and they
would attack me. And it's and it went on and
like whenever I would take the Serah quill, that would happen,
and it was.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
And it's that thing. It's like, is the Sarah quote
dropping my guard?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
So I'm into where I'm looking into another dimension or
is it causing a hallucination? And I spent a whole
summer like freak the fuck out, afraid, afraid to go
to sleep.
Speaker 7 (19:02):
Because like who fuck who's afraid of bubbles? Like it's
it's the most Monday, Like it's the bubbles, but like
these well buff when bubbles have their own ideas and
bubbles start fucking and I and I've tripped balls.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
This wasn't like any other hallucination.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
These things had their own they seem had their own
deal going out, so they're shooting at me.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
I'm freaking out.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
I won't go into my bedroom when I'm sleeping on
the couch, and now I don't.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
I don't like to go to sleep until until until.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
It's light out. And the thing that fucked me up
was these bubbles are going crazy in my downstairs. They're
all over the place. Everything's coverable bubbles. I'm trying to
film it, you know, it's not picking up. And I
go outside and the hallucination stop. There's no bubbles outside.
(19:55):
It doesn't follow me, it doesn't track everything's in my house.
And I look back in through the window when the
bubbles are going fucking crazy, and that's odd if you're
tripping balls, if you've ever done acid, if you don't
acid or anything like that, it tracks This shit was normal, though.
And then I turned back around and I look at
my house and it's fucking like Peeley's playhouse in that bitch.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Man, fuck me up. I was like, I was like, God,
the fuck off of that. But it made me think
about the whole demon shit differently, you know. I It's like,
damn dog, like, could it be.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
This motherfucker's on another plane. There's tons of shit that's
going on that we can't see. It's because we can't
measure it or can't prove it.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
The line between good and evil is a thin one.
For Jude, that line was something he lived with every day.
Were his demons supernatural or were his demons psychological? At
a certain point, what difference does it make when you're
losing your mind. It seems the only way to deal
with it was to make peace with what was inside
(21:05):
his soul. And except that whatever was inside of him
would remain there.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
It could never get a red No, it could never
get a road.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Do.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
It could never get around, It could never get a
road
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