April 20, 2023 • 48 mins
"Waffle House knows their lane. They have figured out what they are doing. Diners have chapter books for menus. You mean to tell me that you have a turkey dinner, a lobster bisque, but also disco fries? What is happening here?” - Dulcé Sloan
“So when I see that chapter book laid out in front of me, I'm like, "Wow, I really have options in life. Am I going to get pasta with a burger? Maybe. I'm crazy like that. I can get wild like that because I'm at a diner right now. I'm not limited to the limited thinking of a Waffle House.” - Josh Johnson
We’re revisiting diners vs. waffle houses this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.
#DailyShow #HoldUp #Podcast
Click here for Dulcé’s tour dates: https://www.dulcesloan.com/tour
Click here for Josh’s tour dates: https://www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, friends, it's Duel Say Sloan corresponding for the Daily Show.
We're off this week, but we thought we'd re visit
one of our favorite episodes, Diners Versus waffle House, And
since it's Sport twenty and some of y'all might have
the munches today, we thought we'd give you our takes
and who has a better quality food, if it's better
to have a menu with an abundance of options or
a select few items, and the pros and kinds of
(00:20):
a place we can open twenty four to seven.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Tune in to find out which side of the debate
we each land on.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Enjoy.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up with Dulce Sloan and
Josh Johnson. That's us, by the way, I know I
was saying it like it was two other people that
we were going to interview and talk to, but it's us.
I don't know why I say my name like I
forgot my name before I say my name. But we
are here to discuss a really important topic today, something
that's weighed on our hearts and our minds for basically
(00:55):
our entire lives. And we had no idea that the
other didn't feel the same way. Honestly, this is one
of those things where it's best that we became good
friends before we found this out about each other, or
else one would have judged the other pretty harshly. We
probably would have judged each other. Today's topic is diners
(01:16):
versus waffle Houses. Yep, okay, so this is waffle Houses
of the world taken on the diners of the world.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Well, well, well it's the waffle houses of America.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Because I don't believe waffle House is a international company.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I feel like if it is, we would have heard
about it. I feel like.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yes, because waffle House only operates, Like the closest waffle
house to hear is in Pennsylvania. And me and you know,
my friend Ben ben Bergman shop Big Bergman. Me and
Ben Bergman have contemplated renting a car to go. I
think it's like a Scranton pen of vang your waffle house.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, one of the best, one of the best outings
you could probably have is hitting the six Flags on
the way and then going to a waffle house. That
sounds like an incredible weekend.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Well, you know, you have to do the waffle house
after six Flags?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, yeah, you don't want to.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, you want to lose your waffle house.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, you don't want to have a biological refund on
all of your waffle house. I'll tell you right now, though,
the thing that would make that trip better besides six
Flags and then a waffle House is a six Flags
and any diner along the way, because waffle house it
doesn't stack up. Okay, what to an American institution of dinerism?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
All right, listen, listen. This is how you know you
have life fucked up. Okay, I'm gonna tell you this.
This is the reason you don't drink. Okay, and I
think you've only had like one drink in your life, right, No,
I never drank. So you've never had alcohol. No, in
(03:09):
your American Christian life, not one sip. You didn't have
a rogue ut tea you know, irresponsible uncle.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I mean buncle's irresponsible, but he had drake.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Interesting, So the missing ingredient of waffle house is alcohol.
So for a long time, when you first start going
to waffle house, usually if you didn't go as a kid,
you went in college, you start going to walk was
like you've been out laid with your friends. There's nothing,
(03:43):
there's nothing else open, so you go to waffle house.
It was a lot of food, it was super affordable,
and you were drunk, okay, or a little tipsy. So
a lot of it is like, if you are trying,
if you have been out drinking mm hm, and you
are trying to ensure that you do not have a
(04:06):
biological refund mm hmm on all the alcohol that you purchased.
Waffle House is a sure fire away to make sure
that you do not do that. Because all the times
I've been out late and been drinking and seeing people
very drunk in the waffle house, it is very rare
that I have seen somebody have a biological refund because
(04:26):
all that waffle house just soaks up all the liquor.
See what I'm saying. That's why you eat carbs like
that after you drink. That's why when people are drunk
they want French fries, they want potatoes, they want stuff
like that, because it's just your body is like, bitch,
I need help.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Okay, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
So they're out here, they're saving they're saving the children,
that's what they're doing. They're helping people that.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Would helped me and then helped me understand, right, Because
in my in my experience, just from the outside looking in.
Like I said, I've never drank before, so I'm not
I'm not going to act like I know what you're
talking about and what I'm talking about. You know what
you're talking about. I know what I'm talking about. And
I've just noticed that in life, when someone has to
be drunk for something, it's probably not as good as
(05:13):
they think it is.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, I'm not talking about I've
never been to a diner and been like this food
is amazing. There's a lot of times hold on, let
me finish. Hold on. I remember my mom asked me
to go to waffle House and it was like a
Sunday morning, and I was like, are we going to
(05:36):
get drunk first? What are we doing? And then I
was able to have out waffle House without having it
be three in the morning and nothing else is open
or not being a little tips McGee and I had
waffle House and I was like, oh, this is actually
good even without the alcohol. And alcohol does give you
a little like a little bit of a you know,
(05:58):
it's like, you know, it's just a little little kiss
from a rose when you when you're a little inebriated
and you're in a waffle house. And also it's like
the ambiance of a waffle house. Also, the waffle house has.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I'm sorry to interrupt, but is way too sophisticated of
a word to use for a waffle house.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Listen, ambiance is too sophisticated a word to use for Denny's. Like,
that's what I'm talking about, because it's like, also there's diners,
but it's like, is Denny's a diner or the restaurant
is a diner or a restaurant, But a waffle house, nigga,
it's a waffle house. So like you know what you're
dealing with.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
So this is just just for the listener, just just
to make sure we've caught everyone up to speed. It
seems clear that you are on the side of waffle house.
I'm on the side of diner, and we're both coming
at this thing with maybe an eight out of ten.
Like I don't really see our position shifting or changing,
but I do plan and to help you along get
(07:02):
understanding why waffle house is uh is not where it's
at all. Right, First of all, you mentioned ambions. I'm ambiance,
the ambiance of fists, the chokes the ads of someone
that might be let your food burn only because they
are currently engaged in a fist fight.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Listen, I have never had burned food from waff House
because I mean, sometimes you're hat but because I get
my hash brown scattered, smothered and covered, so sometimes it'll
be a little crispy on the edges that I want
it to be. But like, honestly, I can't. I don't
know often I've had burned food from a restaurant period.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I'm not I'm not talking about charge to an absolute Chris.
I'm saying it would have been perfect had somebody not
jumped the counter.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Listen, I haven't seen have I seen a fight in
a waffe House? Yes? Was it with the employees. I've
never seen a waffle house fight with the employees. I
know what happens. We all know what.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Happens, but no, we all have the same internet.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Right, But I've never seen I've never seen it. Also,
what we can always credit the waffle house for waffle
House employees more convicted felons than anyone has ever seen.
If there's a man on it, first of all, if
the dude on the grill don't look like he served
(08:34):
at least five years. I don't want to cooking shit
for me.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah yeah, because that that comes with its own level
of experience, Like now he's working with real ingredients and
not prison ingredients. I understand what you're saying, but let
me let me kick it to you. Why I think
the diners are just far superior.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Because your bougie go ahead, because I'm boogie.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Okay. Look, all I'm saying is when someone tells me
that they're about to give me steak, I just wanted
to be steak. You know, when I get steak at
a diner, I know that that's steak. Why get steak
at a waffle house that's burger. That's just burger.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
No waffle house one has steaks too. Why are you
ordering a steak at a diner or a waffle house
in the first place. You have set yourself up for failure.
This is this is my issue with That's on you.
You wanted a high quality steak from somewhere whose menu
(09:34):
is thick like an encyclopedia. This is my issue with diners,
and this has always been my issue with diners. Waffle
House it's breakfast and then like burger shit right, like
I know there's a high turnover. This ship's coming out
the door. Yeah, their menu is laminated. Yeah, I see
the pictures. I flip it over. I see the pictures.
(09:57):
Understand diner menu, chapter books, chapter books, Old Testament, New Testament.
Do you mean to tell me that you have a
turkey dinner, a lobster florentine or whatever, but also disco fries?
(10:19):
What the fuck is happening in here? I don't know.
It is the middle of July. It is the middle
of July. Who who is coming in here and ordering
turkey dressed in cranberry juice, I mean cranberry sauce. Who
is ordering turkey with all the fixings in the middle
of July. There's so many things on those menus. There's kalamari,
(10:43):
but then there's also chicken tenders, like all of like
it's it's like, oh, there's like chicken kiev, but then
it's onion rings. So it's like, I know that there's
stuff in here that has just been sitting in your
freezer because people aren't ordering the talking me somebody who
(11:03):
ordered a meatloaf, sandwich and a Greek salad in the
same day. How long has that meatloafs been in the freezer?
How long has that lobster been in the freezer? Turkey dinner?
How long has that turkey been? The fuck? I have
questions and concerns.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
First of all, how dare you slanger the name of
diners by assuming that stuff is sitting there? Any good
diner has the kitchen and has the freezer. That's like
a Narnia. All right, there's just amazing stuff back there.
But there is this amount of space. And I'll tell
you right now, what you think is the beast, I
think is the beauty.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
All right.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
So when I see that chapter book laid out in
front of me, I'm like, wow, I really have options
in life. I could I could try something and get
something that I already like as a backup. So am
I gonna get, you know, a pasta with a burger?
Maybe I'm crazy like that. I can get wild like
that because I could get wild like that. Because about
(12:00):
a dinner right now, I'm not limited to the to the.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You're gonna get a grilled cheese, cheese. You're gonna get
a grill cheese and a chicken al fredo, You fucking child.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I'm gonna get a grilled cheese. I'm gonna get spaghetti.
I'm gonna go ahead and.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
No grilled cheese.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I gainst spaghetti. And you know what, you know what,
just the top it all, just because I care. Because
this is what options in life do for you, you know,
because when you go to a diner, you're your own
little Elon Musk, your own little Jeff Bezos. They're going
to space. I'm out here having orange juice, chocolate milk.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
With a mon of crystal sandwich.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
About a crystal sandwich.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And that's how okay, And that's how you have a
biological refund is chocolate milk, orange juice, and I'm money
crystal sand okay.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Also this is there is another metric that I want
to bring up because you you already brought up a
point for waffle House that they employ a lot of
X cons, they're leading employers of X cons and everything
I will I will offer up to you. A lot
of diners out there have some of the best cooks
in the world that just are struggling right now. Right
(13:24):
So there are some cooks at diners that should be
in some of those Michelin Star restaurants. But you know what,
they fell off a little bit. You know, maybe they
maybe they burned the wrong person's steak. Maybe they got
into it with a supervisor, and so then they regulated
to only work at diners after that. Okay, I'm just
(13:48):
saying I think the quality because you see the menu
that takes skill to be able to do.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
All that take skill.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It takes a ton of skill.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Tell me something on the diner media gives me that
I need to go for Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
A Greek don a suit, I know, but it is
It's a no.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Do you really think that they are in the back
of a diner making a stock from lobster shells and
meat and then adding a cream and doing all this.
It's it's still a restaurant that mass produces food you
buy it from. Have you worked in a restaurant before.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I have worked at a restaurant before, ye all, And
I can tell you right now that the best restaurants
put love, time, care, attention into every dish. And so
when I go to it, if I'm but.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
If I'm getting a lobster bisk, that's five ninety nine.
You did not put love and care into the sobster bisk.
You opened a can.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Don't first of all.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Don't don't act like I'm not judging the matter of love.
What I'm saying is there could be plenty of love,
but what there was not was prep work and care
and time involved. You can't there's too much stuff on
the menu. This is a high volume situation because if
you don't use a lobster bisk out of a can,
(15:11):
say don't sell out that lobster bisc It's easier to
throw away a can of soup that's old than to
every day create this stock. Because it's the thing. There
are so many things on a diner menu that if
you have anything with a short shelf life, you're throwing
(15:33):
away a lot of shit. You're throwing away a lot
of inventory. You're not selling all of this. You have
seven different soups. Lobster bisc isn't flying off the shelf,
so why would you make that fresh every day? You can't.
It makes no sense. You'd be throwing that soup out
every day. So you have to have something in the
back that comes in a small enough can to where
(15:55):
this one dude that ordered lobster bisk in the past
two days, he is going to get all the love
and care that comes from a can opener and heating
up to something up on the self.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Even if you think, because we don't know, we can't verify.
Even if you think that all the lobster biscu and
all the diners is canned, I'll tell you right now.
To be able to go from type of food to
type of food that also takes skill. All Right, you're
coming at me with a piping hot, delicious, veggie filled casadilla,
and you're coming at me with some chicken alfredo that's
(16:29):
just cooked to perfection. I would love I would love
to see waffle holes try to pull off both of
those things.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Because waffle house knows they're laying. They have figured out
what they are doing.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
They have figured out what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
No, No, I'm learning about as a company, not as
individual not as individual stores. Because I have been an
example of waffle houses. I'm just like I was giving
pure chaos on a plate. H And I've been in
some waifle houses. I was like, Oh, somebody wiped down
the edge of this. Somebody gave me some presentation of that.
You see what I'm saying. Every experience is different, but
(17:03):
every diner is different. But every diner, to me, every
diner menu feels like pure chaos. It's like there's too
many there's too many things in this menu. How is
all this food in your kitchen? Once you?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Why would you want less good? Why are you talking
about me?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Because it's like that, I don't know. I'm trying to
get the saying right where it's like, oh, it's like
a master of none situation.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Okay, okay, so how's that? Let me have the phrase
goes it's a jack of all trades, master of none.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Right, So if you were in here making egg rolls, right,
m you're making egg rolls and and Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah,
and pasta and casadas and dry nachos because the nachos
are always dry, always always draw the number of times
(18:02):
that I have been just given just a just the
sands of time nacho. There's a thousand things on your menu.
So it's like, oh, there's span of copada and chili.
What the hell is going on in here? So jack
of all trades? But yeah, I cannot wait. I cannot wait.
(18:23):
So people hear you say, dip the span of copada
in the chili, you are a wild man. I love you.
But that was a phrase that was a wild phrase,
dip the span of copa and the chili. Oh, the
Lord can't bless you living like that? So sounds like
a that sounds like a move from a poor child
(18:46):
who just got money, like just just got out here.
Oh man, I'll tell you this. I met a guy
at a bar. We went to the waffle house because
I was the only thing that was open, and we
were just sitting there talking. We were at this we
were I guess it was a date or hanging out
or whatever. We were at this waffle house for so long.
(19:09):
We ate twice, ate twice.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
You saw people change shifts.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh, there was a shift change. There was definitely a
shift change. We were in there talking for like probably
like seven hours, just hanging out. Like the sun came up.
I was like, well we might as well have breakfast
now we're in this bitch. So it's like but that
was the other great thing about a waffle house. White
house is never going to kick you out unless you're
acting a fool. Yeah, if they're not super busy, a
(19:36):
waf house will let you be there as long as
you want. Okay, Yeah, you could order a coffee in
a waffle house as long as you're not taking up
a whole booth. Wilf House will let you have that
coffee and be in there until the return of our Lord.
And say, for Jesus Christ, white House does not care. Okay,
you're in here, You're in here. Yes, people will fight,
(19:58):
but I've also seen bar fights, all right. We've all
been in a place. People fighting a Walmart, people fighting
the CDs, people fighting, doctors offices, people fight everywhere. People
fight in the street train. So I don't know why
waffle House is getting all of the slack.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
No, don't do that, don't do that. That's that's because
you love waffle house too much.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Because it's not like it's not a love thing.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
It's like you came with the loving attitude of like
a mob. That's like, look, everybody fights sometimes, and Pete,
there's fighting. There's fighting overseas. They're fighting hit a war
right now. There they fighting bars. But I don't understand
why my baby fighting means he gotta be suspended because
you you came with this thing of like singing a
(20:47):
loud waffle House. But waffle House versus regular dins has
more fights per capita, all right, there are more punch thrown.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Google, I want what you I want facts, statistics. You're
not gonna come in here and act.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Like I mean if we're if we're putting the Dinny's
of the world and the eye Hops of the world.
You know, I've seen listen asking if we're doing that.
I'm just saying, when we talk about virality, there are
more viral videos of some ass whoopings and some waffle
houses than there are at the eye hops. I'm not
(21:24):
saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying that the Dennis and
the eye hops and the places that.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Have But you have to understand that, like eye hops
close close, So when you're dealing with a business that
is open during the drunk people time, you're going to
have more altercations just because you're open during the drunk
(21:52):
people time, You're open during fight time, you're open during
shoot up the club time. Now because the eye hops
that are open eight. If you take eye hops that
close at ten or nine and a twenty four hour
eye hop, I've seen plenty of altercations in a twenty
four hour eye hope. And anytime I'm in a twenty
(22:14):
four hour eye hop, it's because the line at waffle
house was too long. If I'm in a Denny's, it's
because listen, we all enjoy our moons over my hammy Okay,
shout out to Denny's. All right, all enjoyed a love
an ache, you know, an egg and cheese and ham sandwich. Delicious.
But if you're if you're a twenty four hour restaurant,
(22:37):
you're gonna deal with nonsense. You just are. You see
people act a full on a twenty four hour diner.
We've all seen. But yeah, let's not act like you're
going to just get more riff raff because your business
model is riffraff time.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Okay, but I think that there's something to be said.
This is also where the diners, the spectrum of diner
that we're in right now, it just it outclasses waffle
house because some diners do close at a late hour.
Some of them close at one, some of them close
at two, And that's a little period of closing. Just
(23:17):
that little period closing saves you so much because now
there's time to come back in and meal prep, the
staff gets to rest. There's no one am to seven
am shift. I know that I'm getting the best and
brightest of that time period when that shift starts like.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
No, you're getting a shift. That's it. If your shift
is one am, Union, your shift is one am. If
your shift is from twelve to twelve, your shift is
from twelve to twelve. Some of the worst service I've
had is it a restaurant that's empty in the middle
of the afternoon. An empty restaurant at four pm is
the worst service I get every time. But this I
(23:54):
will say, yeah, it's let's let's not act like that
waffle House is not contributing to the community at large,
because have you all on have you heard of the
Waffa House hurricane index.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I've heard of the waffle House hurricane index. You can
tell it for the people, for the people that don't know.
But so I'm already with you.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Okay, let me, let me, let me give the folks
the full google able definition straight from your Wikipedia page. Okay.
The waffle House index is an informal metric named after
the Waffa House restaurant chain to determine the effect of
a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for
(24:41):
disaster recovery. It was coined by former administrator Craig Fugate
of the Federal Emergency Management Agency aka FEMA. The metric
is unofficially used by FEMA to inform disaster response. So
the index is based on waffle House's reputation for having
good disaster preparedness, staying open during extreme weather, or reopening
(25:05):
quickly afterwards. Now, if you get there and now this
is the quote from Craig Fugate, former head of the
Federal Emergency Management Agency aka FEMA, if you get there
and the waffle house is closed, question mark, that's really bad,
(25:27):
is what the man is quoted as saying. Now, there
are levels to this shit. Green full menu, restaurant has
power and damage is limited or no or don't damage
at all. Yellow, limited menu, no power or only power
from a generator where food supplies may be low. Red
the restaurant is closed indicates severe damage or severe flooding. Now,
(25:53):
if you can tell me of any other restaurant, store, business,
or food chain that is being used by a federal
preparedness agency, I will be glad to hear it. Go ahead,
go ahead.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
All that you have proven just now is that FEMA
is in shambles.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Shut all right, the hell up.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Because it's the hell up.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
House.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
You know, FEMA's not doing well it's an in.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Now listen in formal it Basically, it's like, okay, this
is a colloquial kind of It's like, you know how
like all the birds fly away before a tsunami comes. Yeah, yeah,
no one's looking to birds. There was an earthquake, a
tsunami is coming. But if these birds fly to coop,
(26:51):
that's your indicator. You see what I'm saying. If you
tell me waffle house is closed because the weather is
so bad, I'm gonna go, oh shit, we got to
get the hell up out of here. Already boarded up
my windows, bat and down the hatches. Right. But if
I steel on the news that the Waffa House is closed,
I'm fleeing the city. I've already put my boards up,
(27:13):
I've already done all my stuff. But if waffle house
is closed, I mean, like, damn, this storm is batter
than I thought it was. This is worse than this
is worse than I thought it was.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
If anything, this is an indication that waffle houses stay
too open.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
That's not that that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
It makes total sense. A place should open and close
in a way that isn't such an indicator. It would
be like it would be like saying, oh, I know,
I know this. Uh, this guy right this, Uh, this
gentleman who does a lot of drugs. We all usually
is not is not concerned about anything in life. So
(27:52):
then if he gets concerned, you know, it's bad. It's
like yeah, but also his level of concern doesn't doesn't
really piqued my interest because he's dealing with a whole
bunch of other stuff over there.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I understand they're saying that waffle house is a drug addict.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
No, no, I'm not saying waffle house is a drug
act I'm saying that it shouldn't take a hurricane to
break through normal procedure. I think that maybe.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
What do you think should have what? What do you
so you don't think it should be you don't think
any restaurant should be open twenty four hours? Not not.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I'm not saying any and every I'm just saying, for
the sake of just when I go to a waffle house,
for the sake of everyone there, I think it would
be best if this place closed for four hours. I
don't know, Like like.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Now, I have been I have been to one where
we walked in and like we're closed, and we went
your waffle house.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yeah. Yeah, So she's like, there are some out there
I just don't know about.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I think they just decided they were done. Like that's
the other thing. It's like they just they just I
think they just decided they needed a break. Because she's like,
we're closed, and I was like, your waffle house and
she was like, but the reason they were closed is
because they had just gotten robbed. So then we had
(29:07):
to go to the White House across the street. Now
the reason, no, don't do that. So you know the
twenty four hour McDonald's, you know, after a certain time,
you can't go inside. Yea, it is because people were
robbing twenty four hour McDonald's. So that's why you can't
go inside. The reason that certain Popeyes and certain neighborhoods
(29:30):
have the check cash and place class because that's why
you know what kind of neighbor Like, if you're not
sure what kind of neighborhood you're in, go into a
fast food restaurant, especially like a Popeye is like a
church of Chicken. A church of Chicken should already tell
you what neighborhood you're in, But if you're confused, go
inside said church of chicken. If there is check cash
(29:51):
and place class, you know where you are.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
And just for people who don't know, the check cashing
place glass is not just a type of bulletproof ish glass.
It's also glass that has a little compartment in it
so that you can put your money in and then
turn it, and then they can put your product in
and then turn it. Yeah, and that that also stops
hands from having to exchange, you know, because then with
(30:17):
with when hands exchange, it means they have easy access
to you, which means they could bring in use.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
A weapon, right, so they can slide a gun underneath,
they can grab you by your hand. But I can't
tell you the food you get out of Popeyes or
a church is chicken. With check cash and place glass.
It's never as good as the as the experience of
having to it never matches.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Up it Like yeah, yeah, it feels like the robberies
that took place. There were four refunds. Jevy like like
the chicken.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
That I've had, no give me my money back.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Give me my money back, And they're like, I don't
want all of the money.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I want my eleven sixty two, that's all. I want
one of my Homeboys, was like, how can you do
diners versus waffle house? Waffle House is a diner, and
I was like, but you know that waffle house is
waffle house. Like, let's stop playing with it, Like, let's
(31:19):
let's call it saith.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah, it's it's essentially like a calling when people are like,
actually dolphins are mammals.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, it's like yeah, but like the square rectangle thing.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Yeah, because if I had the choice between a diner
and a waffle house, I'm going diner.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Every time I'm going White House, I'm going waffle house
because it's like, I know, when I go to the
White House, ninety percent of the time, I get two things.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Okay, when I go to a.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Diner, No, no, no, no, what's your waffle house order?
Speaker 3 (31:54):
What's my waffle house order? I guess I get the
all star thing, the all star Yeah, yeah, the thing
that is at the top of the menu.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I think, okay, this is okay. So what we've established
here is you are not a person who goes to
wait house. How you get your hash browns?
Speaker 3 (32:14):
I get them flat. I don't I don't know what the.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Listen, listen, Li's sen You have not been to enough
waffle houses. You don't even have your hash brown order down.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Houses. I get my hash browns on the way they come.
I don't. I don't ask them to be extra.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
You don't get your hash browns customized.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
No, because because here's the thing, the hash browns that
you get at a diner. You can just go crispy,
or you can go hey, can you you know, put
a little gravey on whatever the gravestation. I don't know
what people do.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I'm just saying, but sauce and a little syrup on mine,
on your hash browns, just just a mean pepper yet
sauce and just a little just a little, just a whisper,
just a little, you know, just petals in the wind
of just a little bit of syrup, just because like
(33:20):
the whole milk just be like sometimes it's too salty.
But scattered smothered, actually I get scattered smothered covered or
scattered smother covered and peppered.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
I mean, if you really got to cover up your
hash browns like that, you didn't do them.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Right, ma'am, ma'am, Like, ma'am, do you know any of
these do you know what any of these words mean
that I just said scattered so when you get waffle
house hash browns, they'll come. They'll put them in the
ring so they'll be like formed. Right, Yeah, I get
mine scattered, so because for me, when they're in the
(33:54):
little ring, they're not all crispy because they're not. So
I like mine scattered, so it's crisp because it's like
I get one more surface area. I'm scattered. Smothered is
with grilled onions, covered, is with cheese, peppered is hiletpenions? Right?
You can also get it capped, which is mushrooms.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Sounds like shot what it sounds like. You can get
them shot capped?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Why they call them capped because it's mushrooms.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Just say with mushrooms.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Listen, it's a whole little cute little thing. I'm trying
to remember whether one when you put add gravy to it,
what's it called.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Maybe maybe I'm just being biased, but I feel like
when I go to a diner, I go to diner
specifically for breakfast food, you know. So that's why I
compare it to a waffle house in my mind, because
the same way that I go to waffle house, I
get that all star. I go to a diner and
I get you know, two eggs, scramble with cheese, bacon, crispy,
(34:52):
and I get hash browns and then some toast if
they have it, and I'm easy, I'll get some.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Yeah, you can just get that at But it's not
it's not the same.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
It's not it's not like I don't know how I
describe this in a way that that won't maybe sum
it all up. The way that it's done at a
waffle house, to me is is a bit too familiar,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
So familiar. Yeah, so when I go to you feel
like you could cook it.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Yeah, when I when I get my order.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
All breakfast food, you can cook.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Yeah, but there's something you can make.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
No, you can cook it. No, you can make your
own eggs. We are not talking about. This is not
French cuisine. This is not a soup desure. Okay, this
is not a fine no fine dining experience.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Which all diners have.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
By the way, let me say something. Is there a
Michelin star restaurant that's only doing breakfast?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
I mean nothing, I'm aware.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Exactly because it's eggs. It's eggs. It's fucking eggs. Okay.
If you think that you every man makes breakfast. I
don't know if that's the only thing we teach y'all
how to make as a society. But a man can
make breakfast, you understand. So it's like I because like
(36:28):
I love you. Done of our favorite things that've been
having a hard time to find in New York. Patty sausage.
I love a patty sausage. I don't know why I
love a pat Wow. Okay, listen, hash Browns and wildfowls
scattered okay, smothered with oven with onions, covered with cheese, chunked,
(36:54):
grilled hickory, smoked tam diced grilled tomatoes, pepper and jalapenos,
capped grill's button mushrooms, topped is with birch chili. Country
is when they got the sausage gravy on top, or
you could get all of them. You can also get
(37:15):
it in a double, a triple, or a quadruple order. Now,
I don't know who's out here getting quadruple orders of
hash Browns. That sounds I've seen it, and you've all
we've all gone that's too much. That's too much. A
double order. Like it's like it's if it's been all
day and I was out like it's not often I
will get like a double order of hash brows.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
I saw a quadruple order. What time? And when that
band stood up, his gun fell out of his waistband like.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
That, that's so funny. There was no room for the gun.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
There was no room for the gun anymore. So this dude,
this dude got quadruple order of hash brows, ate them
all and when he got up, the gun was like,
it's too tight. I can't I can't be in.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I just I know there's people like listening that are
just like, we are so casual about talking about a gun,
and it's like y'all have to remember, like I grew
up in Georgia, Josh grew up in Louisiana, and we
both grew up in America. So if you have an
issue with what we're talking about, yeah, one, you forgot
(38:22):
where you live. Yeah, you forgot where you live. I
have no sympathy for you. You forgot where the hell
you live. You need to calm down. You need to
talk to your congressman. Okay, talk to your congressman. Make
it so that us talking about a pistola that it's
not so casual. But hey, man, sometimes your guns, like, yo,
you know, I gotta honestly, that lets you know the
(38:46):
strength and the vigor of a waffle house hash Brown.
If it's pushing guns out the waistband, come on, bro,
come on.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
To a gun fall like to a child. Floor has
a very particular clatter that oh yeah, everybody got real quiet,
oh because.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You're like, oh, that's not okay, okay, we know we
anybody just got to go, oh, sorry, my bad.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
I just he was just like, hey, my bad. And
then then he tried to put it back and it
was not going easy. That gun did not walk be
at his wife's bad anymore. I know, I was was
gonna shoot himself. Like I was like, what's well those
things where he really like hiked up his chest and
everything trying to make room, and.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
I started just because like he can't hold it walking out. Yeah, yeah,
it's gonna look crazy. Just this's just let's just rec
let's just recap and just think about this, Okay. Usually
when we have these conversations, we can have things to
say about the one thing and things to say about
(39:57):
the other thing. We have been talking about waffle House
most of the time because it's an engaging conversation. Okay,
because we know that wilf House is for the people. Okay.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
I understand that we've let waffle House dominate most of
the conversation because it's particular episode, but I think that
it's because I really wanted to give you the time
and attention for your waffle House arguments, to let you
sort of like put yourself on the grill and get burned,
because I think that they're not coming out quite like
(40:34):
you they are. Okay. I think that one of the
reasons that waffle House has been confined to the parts
of the country that it has been is specifically because
other states are like, we see the problems and we
don't want them. Okay, we see, we see the issue,
we see the issues. Hold on, we already have diners
(40:55):
that are better. Don't bring that. Okay. Wow, I think
that's what's happening.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Wow mm hmm. The disrespect, that's all hearsay I have
given you that, not even hearsay. That's Josh say, Okay,
we don't know why these other states don't have a
wife House. You don't know we also, no, no, no,
you can't say that the reason Wilfa House isn't in
(41:21):
other states. Is because of how Wilfi House has been
presented to the people. You're the proof for that. You
don't know. In the words of my mama, you don't know.
You don't know because you don't know. Okay. But I
think that's because big Diner, Okay, big.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Diner, Big diner, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Is keeping out the little guy.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
The little guy, the little the little mega corporation that
FEMA uses to track how bad a storm is.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
You cannot use FEMA. I'm now why because you used
because you were like that sorces of just closed. No, no, no,
you can't use it FEMA to defend your argument when
you were just shitting on FEMA for using for Waffe
House being with you can't do that.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
Now I can do I could do both because the
association is still there.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
That's not no, no, no, that's not right. That's not right.
That's not right.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Denied that the association existed. I'm just saying it means
femas and shambles, but it's also tracking something that's not
a little guy. It's a mega corporation. So that's me
throwing out my there's more likely big waff House. There
is Big Diner Okay, I think that all these many
different types of diners for them to form a coalition
(42:44):
of eggs, bacon and hash browns and Monte crystal sandwiches
to keep out the whuses. Waff House has the power.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
And a stuffed flounder and your Thanksgiving dinner and you're
Calamari and I every thing I've ever had at a
diner tasted reheated?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Is that here saying?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Is that here saying?
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Now I've worked in a restaurant before, and so of you.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
A restaurant, but I didn't know anything about one. You
chapters Lengthen.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
There's too there's too much food. Your burgers might get
in heavy rotation. Your breakfast stuff is definitely your eggs
are gonna constantly be going.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
Yeah, but leggs, by the way, not just a bunch
of egg juice, right, wif.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
House using whitle House uses real eggs.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Are we sure about that?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You see the basket of eggs when they're cooking your breakfast?
You see them?
Speaker 3 (43:37):
You see a basket of eggs. Do we see them?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Use? Yes?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Me?
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Bro watch them. You've never seen them cook.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I've seen them cook.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
They're right there. You're just being rude. Now you know,
good and damn well they be using them eggs. You know,
good and damn well they be using them eggs and eggs.
Don't just sit there. You've seen them refill the basket. Okay,
you've seen.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Them reaching those plastic eggs. How do we know?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Get off my internet, Get off my internet, Get off
my internet. I will not do this with you. You
can see them take the egg out the basket, crack it,
put it in a bowl, mix scrambled eggs, or put
it directly on the grill where some person is going
to have just the raw sunnyside as ashy.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Yeah, it's you know, hearsake because you said that. I
heard it.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Wow okay, no no, no, no, no, you had your
Josh say, I had my duel say so I will
not be.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
I mean, we have to give it to the people,
all right now, we have to give it to the people.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
It's are you team? Because this is diners and so
this is diners. Mean like any restaurant ends of the
word diner or are we including I hopandemics are those diners?
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Personally? I find them to be diners.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
I know it's steak and shake is a diner.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
I think when we were talking about this, I don't
I know, I wasn't considering the eye Hops or the Dennis.
I was thinking waffle House versus your true true diners.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Okay, So this is what we'll do, just to make
it clear for the people as we wrap up. All right, Okay,
when we go diners versus waffle House as well, I
want you to keep in mind is that we're just
talking about diners, like not not chains. So you know,
you don't have to give up your Golden Corral, your Denny's,
your Eye Hops or anything. We're just gonna have nd
(45:35):
diners versus waffle House is an institution. Okay, I will
say in the end, I can give you a little
bit of ground that waffle House has a level of
consistency that I appreciate. It also has a level of
calm even in the chaos that I appreciate because when
that dude's gun fell, it was like it was kind
(45:56):
of nothing, like it was like we we all stats
kind of nothing. But that's like that and a dine
or someone would have run, yes, because.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I'm sure the employees were the people that cared the
least that a gun just hit the floor. But I
can say the number of times I've seen a fight
in a waffle house it has It's been less than ten.
Calm down. I've never been worried like I was in
a Like I saw a fight in an eye hop
and I was like, Oh, we need to run. Yeah,
they're fighting in an eye hop. This is this is
(46:29):
a wild situation, right they mean it Like ever walked
into somewhere and been like there's fight energy in here,
Like there's just like.
Speaker 3 (46:37):
Yeah, if I walk in and I smell like just
the room smell yeah, spilled hennessy, I think that there's
there's definitely something that's about something either already happened or
something's about to happen.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Like when you smell dark liquor in a room, just
like like.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Yeah, and you smell it like off the floor, like
not I'm not talking about on people's breath or like
pouring drinks or I'm talking about the whole room has
a hint.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
You're like, no, we gotta go.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
I just want to thank everyone for listening. I appreciate
the points that you made, and I hope you can
see where I'm coming from that diners are far superior
and you were.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Not able to prove. You did not present any evidence
to prove that diners are superior. All you did was
try to bad mouth the WAFA house. You didn't give
me anything to do. All you said was diners have
a lot of options, and I order food like a child.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
So we're gonna hand it over to you, the listener.
All right, we appreciate you. We thank you for tuning in,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (47:44):
For listening to hold Up. It's always great to get
Josh being wrong on WAX and I'm Jill Day's son.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
I'm Josh Johnson. This has been hold up.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
Hey, make sure you vote correctly. God's watching.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
Listen to hold Up wherever you get your podcasts, and
watch the video version at Dailyshow dot com. Backslash hold
Up m
Hello, friends, it's Duel Say Sloan corresponding for the Daily Show.
We're off this week, but we thought we'd re visit
one of our favorite episodes, Diners Versus waffle House, And
since it's Sport twenty and some of y'all might have
the munches today, we thought we'd give you our takes
and who has a better quality food, if it's better
to have a menu with an abundance of options or
a select few items, and the pros and kinds of
(00:20):
a place we can open twenty four to seven.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Tune in to find out which side of the debate
we each land on.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Enjoy.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up with Dulce Sloan and
Josh Johnson. That's us, by the way, I know I
was saying it like it was two other people that
we were going to interview and talk to, but it's us.
I don't know why I say my name like I
forgot my name before I say my name. But we
are here to discuss a really important topic today, something
that's weighed on our hearts and our minds for basically
(00:55):
our entire lives. And we had no idea that the
other didn't feel the same way. Honestly, this is one
of those things where it's best that we became good
friends before we found this out about each other, or
else one would have judged the other pretty harshly. We
probably would have judged each other. Today's topic is diners
(01:16):
versus waffle Houses. Yep, okay, so this is waffle Houses
of the world taken on the diners of the world.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Well, well, well it's the waffle houses of America.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Because I don't believe waffle House is a international company.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I feel like if it is, we would have heard
about it. I feel like.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yes, because waffle House only operates, Like the closest waffle
house to hear is in Pennsylvania. And me and you know,
my friend Ben ben Bergman shop Big Bergman. Me and
Ben Bergman have contemplated renting a car to go. I
think it's like a Scranton pen of vang your waffle house.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, one of the best, one of the best outings
you could probably have is hitting the six Flags on
the way and then going to a waffle house. That
sounds like an incredible weekend.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Well, you know, you have to do the waffle house
after six Flags?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, yeah, you don't want to.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, you want to lose your waffle house.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, you don't want to have a biological refund on
all of your waffle house. I'll tell you right now, though,
the thing that would make that trip better besides six
Flags and then a waffle House is a six Flags
and any diner along the way, because waffle house it
doesn't stack up. Okay, what to an American institution of dinerism?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
All right, listen, listen. This is how you know you
have life fucked up. Okay, I'm gonna tell you this.
This is the reason you don't drink. Okay, and I
think you've only had like one drink in your life, right, No,
I never drank. So you've never had alcohol. No, in
(03:09):
your American Christian life, not one sip. You didn't have
a rogue ut tea you know, irresponsible uncle.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I mean buncle's irresponsible, but he had drake.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Interesting, So the missing ingredient of waffle house is alcohol.
So for a long time, when you first start going
to waffle house, usually if you didn't go as a kid,
you went in college, you start going to walk was
like you've been out laid with your friends. There's nothing,
(03:43):
there's nothing else open, so you go to waffle house.
It was a lot of food, it was super affordable,
and you were drunk, okay, or a little tipsy. So
a lot of it is like, if you are trying,
if you have been out drinking mm hm, and you
are trying to ensure that you do not have a
(04:06):
biological refund mm hmm on all the alcohol that you purchased.
Waffle House is a sure fire away to make sure
that you do not do that. Because all the times
I've been out late and been drinking and seeing people
very drunk in the waffle house, it is very rare
that I have seen somebody have a biological refund because
(04:26):
all that waffle house just soaks up all the liquor.
See what I'm saying. That's why you eat carbs like
that after you drink. That's why when people are drunk
they want French fries, they want potatoes, they want stuff
like that, because it's just your body is like, bitch,
I need help.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Okay, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
So they're out here, they're saving they're saving the children,
that's what they're doing. They're helping people that.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Would helped me and then helped me understand, right, Because
in my in my experience, just from the outside looking in.
Like I said, I've never drank before, so I'm not
I'm not going to act like I know what you're
talking about and what I'm talking about. You know what
you're talking about. I know what I'm talking about. And
I've just noticed that in life, when someone has to
be drunk for something, it's probably not as good as
(05:13):
they think it is.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, I'm not talking about I've
never been to a diner and been like this food
is amazing. There's a lot of times hold on, let
me finish. Hold on. I remember my mom asked me
to go to waffle House and it was like a
Sunday morning, and I was like, are we going to
(05:36):
get drunk first? What are we doing? And then I
was able to have out waffle House without having it
be three in the morning and nothing else is open
or not being a little tips McGee and I had
waffle House and I was like, oh, this is actually
good even without the alcohol. And alcohol does give you
a little like a little bit of a you know,
(05:58):
it's like, you know, it's just a little little kiss
from a rose when you when you're a little inebriated
and you're in a waffle house. And also it's like
the ambiance of a waffle house. Also, the waffle house has.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I'm sorry to interrupt, but is way too sophisticated of
a word to use for a waffle house.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Listen, ambiance is too sophisticated a word to use for Denny's. Like,
that's what I'm talking about, because it's like, also there's diners,
but it's like, is Denny's a diner or the restaurant
is a diner or a restaurant, But a waffle house, nigga,
it's a waffle house. So like you know what you're
dealing with.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
So this is just just for the listener, just just
to make sure we've caught everyone up to speed. It
seems clear that you are on the side of waffle house.
I'm on the side of diner, and we're both coming
at this thing with maybe an eight out of ten.
Like I don't really see our position shifting or changing,
but I do plan and to help you along get
(07:02):
understanding why waffle house is uh is not where it's
at all. Right, First of all, you mentioned ambions. I'm ambiance,
the ambiance of fists, the chokes the ads of someone
that might be let your food burn only because they
are currently engaged in a fist fight.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Listen, I have never had burned food from waff House
because I mean, sometimes you're hat but because I get
my hash brown scattered, smothered and covered, so sometimes it'll
be a little crispy on the edges that I want
it to be. But like, honestly, I can't. I don't
know often I've had burned food from a restaurant period.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I'm not I'm not talking about charge to an absolute Chris.
I'm saying it would have been perfect had somebody not
jumped the counter.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Listen, I haven't seen have I seen a fight in
a waffe House? Yes? Was it with the employees. I've
never seen a waffle house fight with the employees. I
know what happens. We all know what.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Happens, but no, we all have the same internet.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Right, But I've never seen I've never seen it. Also,
what we can always credit the waffle house for waffle
House employees more convicted felons than anyone has ever seen.
If there's a man on it, first of all, if
the dude on the grill don't look like he served
(08:34):
at least five years. I don't want to cooking shit
for me.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah yeah, because that that comes with its own level
of experience, Like now he's working with real ingredients and
not prison ingredients. I understand what you're saying, but let
me let me kick it to you. Why I think
the diners are just far superior.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Because your bougie go ahead, because I'm boogie.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Okay. Look, all I'm saying is when someone tells me
that they're about to give me steak, I just wanted
to be steak. You know, when I get steak at
a diner, I know that that's steak. Why get steak
at a waffle house that's burger. That's just burger.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
No waffle house one has steaks too. Why are you
ordering a steak at a diner or a waffle house
in the first place. You have set yourself up for failure.
This is this is my issue with That's on you.
You wanted a high quality steak from somewhere whose menu
(09:34):
is thick like an encyclopedia. This is my issue with diners,
and this has always been my issue with diners. Waffle
House it's breakfast and then like burger shit right, like
I know there's a high turnover. This ship's coming out
the door. Yeah, their menu is laminated. Yeah, I see
the pictures. I flip it over. I see the pictures.
(09:57):
Understand diner menu, chapter books, chapter books, Old Testament, New Testament.
Do you mean to tell me that you have a
turkey dinner, a lobster florentine or whatever, but also disco fries?
(10:19):
What the fuck is happening in here? I don't know.
It is the middle of July. It is the middle
of July. Who who is coming in here and ordering
turkey dressed in cranberry juice, I mean cranberry sauce. Who
is ordering turkey with all the fixings in the middle
of July. There's so many things on those menus. There's kalamari,
(10:43):
but then there's also chicken tenders, like all of like
it's it's like, oh, there's like chicken kiev, but then
it's onion rings. So it's like, I know that there's
stuff in here that has just been sitting in your
freezer because people aren't ordering the talking me somebody who
(11:03):
ordered a meatloaf, sandwich and a Greek salad in the
same day. How long has that meatloafs been in the freezer?
How long has that lobster been in the freezer? Turkey dinner?
How long has that turkey been? The fuck? I have
questions and concerns.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
First of all, how dare you slanger the name of
diners by assuming that stuff is sitting there? Any good
diner has the kitchen and has the freezer. That's like
a Narnia. All right, there's just amazing stuff back there.
But there is this amount of space. And I'll tell
you right now, what you think is the beast, I
think is the beauty.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
All right.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
So when I see that chapter book laid out in
front of me, I'm like, wow, I really have options
in life. I could I could try something and get
something that I already like as a backup. So am
I gonna get, you know, a pasta with a burger?
Maybe I'm crazy like that. I can get wild like
that because I could get wild like that. Because about
(12:00):
a dinner right now, I'm not limited to the to the.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You're gonna get a grilled cheese, cheese. You're gonna get
a grill cheese and a chicken al fredo, You fucking child.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I'm gonna get a grilled cheese. I'm gonna get spaghetti.
I'm gonna go ahead and.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
No grilled cheese.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I gainst spaghetti. And you know what, you know what,
just the top it all, just because I care. Because
this is what options in life do for you, you know,
because when you go to a diner, you're your own
little Elon Musk, your own little Jeff Bezos. They're going
to space. I'm out here having orange juice, chocolate milk.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
With a mon of crystal sandwich.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
About a crystal sandwich.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And that's how okay, And that's how you have a
biological refund is chocolate milk, orange juice, and I'm money
crystal sand okay.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Also this is there is another metric that I want
to bring up because you you already brought up a
point for waffle House that they employ a lot of
X cons, they're leading employers of X cons and everything
I will I will offer up to you. A lot
of diners out there have some of the best cooks
in the world that just are struggling right now. Right
(13:24):
So there are some cooks at diners that should be
in some of those Michelin Star restaurants. But you know what,
they fell off a little bit. You know, maybe they
maybe they burned the wrong person's steak. Maybe they got
into it with a supervisor, and so then they regulated
to only work at diners after that. Okay, I'm just
(13:48):
saying I think the quality because you see the menu
that takes skill to be able to do.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
All that take skill.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It takes a ton of skill.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Tell me something on the diner media gives me that
I need to go for Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
A Greek don a suit, I know, but it is
It's a no.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Do you really think that they are in the back
of a diner making a stock from lobster shells and
meat and then adding a cream and doing all this.
It's it's still a restaurant that mass produces food you
buy it from. Have you worked in a restaurant before.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I have worked at a restaurant before, ye all, And
I can tell you right now that the best restaurants
put love, time, care, attention into every dish. And so
when I go to it, if I'm but.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
If I'm getting a lobster bisk, that's five ninety nine.
You did not put love and care into the sobster bisk.
You opened a can.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Don't first of all.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Don't don't act like I'm not judging the matter of love.
What I'm saying is there could be plenty of love,
but what there was not was prep work and care
and time involved. You can't there's too much stuff on
the menu. This is a high volume situation because if
you don't use a lobster bisk out of a can,
(15:11):
say don't sell out that lobster bisc It's easier to
throw away a can of soup that's old than to
every day create this stock. Because it's the thing. There
are so many things on a diner menu that if
you have anything with a short shelf life, you're throwing
(15:33):
away a lot of shit. You're throwing away a lot
of inventory. You're not selling all of this. You have
seven different soups. Lobster bisc isn't flying off the shelf,
so why would you make that fresh every day? You can't.
It makes no sense. You'd be throwing that soup out
every day. So you have to have something in the
back that comes in a small enough can to where
(15:55):
this one dude that ordered lobster bisk in the past
two days, he is going to get all the love
and care that comes from a can opener and heating
up to something up on the self.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Even if you think, because we don't know, we can't verify.
Even if you think that all the lobster biscu and
all the diners is canned, I'll tell you right now.
To be able to go from type of food to
type of food that also takes skill. All Right, you're
coming at me with a piping hot, delicious, veggie filled casadilla,
and you're coming at me with some chicken alfredo that's
(16:29):
just cooked to perfection. I would love I would love
to see waffle holes try to pull off both of
those things.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Because waffle house knows they're laying. They have figured out
what they are doing.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
They have figured out what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
No, No, I'm learning about as a company, not as
individual not as individual stores. Because I have been an
example of waffle houses. I'm just like I was giving
pure chaos on a plate. H And I've been in
some waifle houses. I was like, Oh, somebody wiped down
the edge of this. Somebody gave me some presentation of that.
You see what I'm saying. Every experience is different, but
(17:03):
every diner is different. But every diner, to me, every
diner menu feels like pure chaos. It's like there's too
many there's too many things in this menu. How is
all this food in your kitchen? Once you?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Why would you want less good? Why are you talking
about me?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Because it's like that, I don't know. I'm trying to
get the saying right where it's like, oh, it's like
a master of none situation.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Okay, okay, so how's that? Let me have the phrase
goes it's a jack of all trades, master of none.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Right, So if you were in here making egg rolls, right,
m you're making egg rolls and and Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah,
and pasta and casadas and dry nachos because the nachos
are always dry, always always draw the number of times
(18:02):
that I have been just given just a just the
sands of time nacho. There's a thousand things on your menu.
So it's like, oh, there's span of copada and chili.
What the hell is going on in here? So jack
of all trades? But yeah, I cannot wait. I cannot wait.
(18:23):
So people hear you say, dip the span of copada
in the chili, you are a wild man. I love you.
But that was a phrase that was a wild phrase,
dip the span of copa and the chili. Oh, the
Lord can't bless you living like that? So sounds like
a that sounds like a move from a poor child
(18:46):
who just got money, like just just got out here.
Oh man, I'll tell you this. I met a guy
at a bar. We went to the waffle house because
I was the only thing that was open, and we
were just sitting there talking. We were at this we
were I guess it was a date or hanging out
or whatever. We were at this waffle house for so long.
(19:09):
We ate twice, ate twice.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
You saw people change shifts.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh, there was a shift change. There was definitely a
shift change. We were in there talking for like probably
like seven hours, just hanging out. Like the sun came up.
I was like, well we might as well have breakfast
now we're in this bitch. So it's like but that
was the other great thing about a waffle house. White
house is never going to kick you out unless you're
acting a fool. Yeah, if they're not super busy, a
(19:36):
waf house will let you be there as long as
you want. Okay, Yeah, you could order a coffee in
a waffle house as long as you're not taking up
a whole booth. Wilf House will let you have that
coffee and be in there until the return of our Lord.
And say, for Jesus Christ, white House does not care. Okay,
you're in here, You're in here. Yes, people will fight,
(19:58):
but I've also seen bar fights, all right. We've all
been in a place. People fighting a Walmart, people fighting
the CDs, people fighting, doctors offices, people fight everywhere. People
fight in the street train. So I don't know why
waffle House is getting all of the slack.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
No, don't do that, don't do that. That's that's because
you love waffle house too much.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Because it's not like it's not a love thing.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
It's like you came with the loving attitude of like
a mob. That's like, look, everybody fights sometimes, and Pete,
there's fighting. There's fighting overseas. They're fighting hit a war
right now. There they fighting bars. But I don't understand
why my baby fighting means he gotta be suspended because
you you came with this thing of like singing a
(20:47):
loud waffle House. But waffle House versus regular dins has
more fights per capita, all right, there are more punch thrown.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Google, I want what you I want facts, statistics. You're
not gonna come in here and act.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Like I mean if we're if we're putting the Dinny's
of the world and the eye Hops of the world.
You know, I've seen listen asking if we're doing that.
I'm just saying, when we talk about virality, there are
more viral videos of some ass whoopings and some waffle
houses than there are at the eye hops. I'm not
(21:24):
saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying that the Dennis and
the eye hops and the places that.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Have But you have to understand that, like eye hops
close close, So when you're dealing with a business that
is open during the drunk people time, you're going to
have more altercations just because you're open during the drunk
(21:52):
people time, You're open during fight time, you're open during
shoot up the club time. Now because the eye hops
that are open eight. If you take eye hops that
close at ten or nine and a twenty four hour
eye hop, I've seen plenty of altercations in a twenty
four hour eye hope. And anytime I'm in a twenty
(22:14):
four hour eye hop, it's because the line at waffle
house was too long. If I'm in a Denny's, it's
because listen, we all enjoy our moons over my hammy Okay,
shout out to Denny's. All right, all enjoyed a love
an ache, you know, an egg and cheese and ham sandwich. Delicious.
But if you're if you're a twenty four hour restaurant,
(22:37):
you're gonna deal with nonsense. You just are. You see
people act a full on a twenty four hour diner.
We've all seen. But yeah, let's not act like you're
going to just get more riff raff because your business
model is riffraff time.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Okay, but I think that there's something to be said.
This is also where the diners, the spectrum of diner
that we're in right now, it just it outclasses waffle
house because some diners do close at a late hour.
Some of them close at one, some of them close
at two, And that's a little period of closing. Just
(23:17):
that little period closing saves you so much because now
there's time to come back in and meal prep, the
staff gets to rest. There's no one am to seven
am shift. I know that I'm getting the best and
brightest of that time period when that shift starts like.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
No, you're getting a shift. That's it. If your shift
is one am, Union, your shift is one am. If
your shift is from twelve to twelve, your shift is
from twelve to twelve. Some of the worst service I've
had is it a restaurant that's empty in the middle
of the afternoon. An empty restaurant at four pm is
the worst service I get every time. But this I
(23:54):
will say, yeah, it's let's let's not act like that
waffle House is not contributing to the community at large,
because have you all on have you heard of the
Waffa House hurricane index.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I've heard of the waffle House hurricane index. You can
tell it for the people, for the people that don't know.
But so I'm already with you.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Okay, let me, let me, let me give the folks
the full google able definition straight from your Wikipedia page. Okay.
The waffle House index is an informal metric named after
the Waffa House restaurant chain to determine the effect of
a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for
(24:41):
disaster recovery. It was coined by former administrator Craig Fugate
of the Federal Emergency Management Agency aka FEMA. The metric
is unofficially used by FEMA to inform disaster response. So
the index is based on waffle House's reputation for having
good disaster preparedness, staying open during extreme weather, or reopening
(25:05):
quickly afterwards. Now, if you get there and now this
is the quote from Craig Fugate, former head of the
Federal Emergency Management Agency aka FEMA, if you get there
and the waffle house is closed, question mark, that's really bad,
(25:27):
is what the man is quoted as saying. Now, there
are levels to this shit. Green full menu, restaurant has
power and damage is limited or no or don't damage
at all. Yellow, limited menu, no power or only power
from a generator where food supplies may be low. Red
the restaurant is closed indicates severe damage or severe flooding. Now,
(25:53):
if you can tell me of any other restaurant, store, business,
or food chain that is being used by a federal
preparedness agency, I will be glad to hear it. Go ahead,
go ahead.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
All that you have proven just now is that FEMA
is in shambles.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Shut all right, the hell up.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Because it's the hell up.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
House.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
You know, FEMA's not doing well it's an in.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Now listen in formal it Basically, it's like, okay, this
is a colloquial kind of It's like, you know how
like all the birds fly away before a tsunami comes. Yeah, yeah,
no one's looking to birds. There was an earthquake, a
tsunami is coming. But if these birds fly to coop,
(26:51):
that's your indicator. You see what I'm saying. If you
tell me waffle house is closed because the weather is
so bad, I'm gonna go, oh shit, we got to
get the hell up out of here. Already boarded up
my windows, bat and down the hatches. Right. But if
I steel on the news that the Waffa House is closed,
I'm fleeing the city. I've already put my boards up,
(27:13):
I've already done all my stuff. But if waffle house
is closed, I mean, like, damn, this storm is batter
than I thought it was. This is worse than this
is worse than I thought it was.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
If anything, this is an indication that waffle houses stay
too open.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
That's not that that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
It makes total sense. A place should open and close
in a way that isn't such an indicator. It would
be like it would be like saying, oh, I know,
I know this. Uh, this guy right this, Uh, this
gentleman who does a lot of drugs. We all usually
is not is not concerned about anything in life. So
(27:52):
then if he gets concerned, you know, it's bad. It's
like yeah, but also his level of concern doesn't doesn't
really piqued my interest because he's dealing with a whole
bunch of other stuff over there.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I understand they're saying that waffle house is a drug addict.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
No, no, I'm not saying waffle house is a drug
act I'm saying that it shouldn't take a hurricane to
break through normal procedure. I think that maybe.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
What do you think should have what? What do you
so you don't think it should be you don't think
any restaurant should be open twenty four hours? Not not.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I'm not saying any and every I'm just saying, for
the sake of just when I go to a waffle house,
for the sake of everyone there, I think it would
be best if this place closed for four hours. I
don't know, Like like.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Now, I have been I have been to one where
we walked in and like we're closed, and we went
your waffle house.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yeah. Yeah, So she's like, there are some out there
I just don't know about.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I think they just decided they were done. Like that's
the other thing. It's like they just they just I
think they just decided they needed a break. Because she's like,
we're closed, and I was like, your waffle house and
she was like, but the reason they were closed is
because they had just gotten robbed. So then we had
(29:07):
to go to the White House across the street. Now
the reason, no, don't do that. So you know the
twenty four hour McDonald's, you know, after a certain time,
you can't go inside. Yea, it is because people were
robbing twenty four hour McDonald's. So that's why you can't
go inside. The reason that certain Popeyes and certain neighborhoods
(29:30):
have the check cash and place class because that's why
you know what kind of neighbor Like, if you're not
sure what kind of neighborhood you're in, go into a
fast food restaurant, especially like a Popeye is like a
church of Chicken. A church of Chicken should already tell
you what neighborhood you're in, But if you're confused, go
inside said church of chicken. If there is check cash
(29:51):
and place class, you know where you are.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
And just for people who don't know, the check cashing
place glass is not just a type of bulletproof ish glass.
It's also glass that has a little compartment in it
so that you can put your money in and then
turn it, and then they can put your product in
and then turn it. Yeah, and that that also stops
hands from having to exchange, you know, because then with
(30:17):
with when hands exchange, it means they have easy access
to you, which means they could bring in use.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
A weapon, right, so they can slide a gun underneath,
they can grab you by your hand. But I can't
tell you the food you get out of Popeyes or
a church is chicken. With check cash and place glass.
It's never as good as the as the experience of
having to it never matches.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Up it Like yeah, yeah, it feels like the robberies
that took place. There were four refunds. Jevy like like
the chicken.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
That I've had, no give me my money back.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Give me my money back, And they're like, I don't
want all of the money.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I want my eleven sixty two, that's all. I want
one of my Homeboys, was like, how can you do
diners versus waffle house? Waffle House is a diner, and
I was like, but you know that waffle house is
waffle house. Like, let's stop playing with it, Like, let's
(31:19):
let's call it saith.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah, it's it's essentially like a calling when people are like,
actually dolphins are mammals.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, it's like yeah, but like the square rectangle thing.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Yeah, because if I had the choice between a diner
and a waffle house, I'm going diner.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Every time I'm going White House, I'm going waffle house
because it's like, I know, when I go to the
White House, ninety percent of the time, I get two things.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Okay, when I go to a.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Diner, No, no, no, no, what's your waffle house order?
Speaker 3 (31:54):
What's my waffle house order? I guess I get the
all star thing, the all star Yeah, yeah, the thing
that is at the top of the menu.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I think, okay, this is okay. So what we've established
here is you are not a person who goes to
wait house. How you get your hash browns?
Speaker 3 (32:14):
I get them flat. I don't I don't know what the.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Listen, listen, Li's sen You have not been to enough
waffle houses. You don't even have your hash brown order down.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Houses. I get my hash browns on the way they come.
I don't. I don't ask them to be extra.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
You don't get your hash browns customized.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
No, because because here's the thing, the hash browns that
you get at a diner. You can just go crispy,
or you can go hey, can you you know, put
a little gravey on whatever the gravestation. I don't know
what people do.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I'm just saying, but sauce and a little syrup on mine,
on your hash browns, just just a mean pepper yet
sauce and just a little just a little, just a whisper,
just a little, you know, just petals in the wind
of just a little bit of syrup, just because like
(33:20):
the whole milk just be like sometimes it's too salty.
But scattered smothered, actually I get scattered smothered covered or
scattered smother covered and peppered.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
I mean, if you really got to cover up your
hash browns like that, you didn't do them.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Right, ma'am, ma'am, Like, ma'am, do you know any of
these do you know what any of these words mean
that I just said scattered so when you get waffle
house hash browns, they'll come. They'll put them in the
ring so they'll be like formed. Right, Yeah, I get
mine scattered, so because for me, when they're in the
(33:54):
little ring, they're not all crispy because they're not. So
I like mine scattered, so it's crisp because it's like
I get one more surface area. I'm scattered. Smothered is
with grilled onions, covered, is with cheese, peppered is hiletpenions? Right?
You can also get it capped, which is mushrooms.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Sounds like shot what it sounds like. You can get
them shot capped?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Why they call them capped because it's mushrooms.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Just say with mushrooms.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Listen, it's a whole little cute little thing. I'm trying
to remember whether one when you put add gravy to it,
what's it called.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Maybe maybe I'm just being biased, but I feel like
when I go to a diner, I go to diner
specifically for breakfast food, you know. So that's why I
compare it to a waffle house in my mind, because
the same way that I go to waffle house, I
get that all star. I go to a diner and
I get you know, two eggs, scramble with cheese, bacon, crispy,
(34:52):
and I get hash browns and then some toast if
they have it, and I'm easy, I'll get some.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Yeah, you can just get that at But it's not
it's not the same.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
It's not it's not like I don't know how I
describe this in a way that that won't maybe sum
it all up. The way that it's done at a
waffle house, to me is is a bit too familiar,
if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
So familiar. Yeah, so when I go to you feel
like you could cook it.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Yeah, when I when I get my order.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
All breakfast food, you can cook.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Yeah, but there's something you can make.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
No, you can cook it. No, you can make your
own eggs. We are not talking about. This is not
French cuisine. This is not a soup desure. Okay, this
is not a fine no fine dining experience.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Which all diners have.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
By the way, let me say something. Is there a
Michelin star restaurant that's only doing breakfast?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
I mean nothing, I'm aware.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Exactly because it's eggs. It's eggs. It's fucking eggs. Okay.
If you think that you every man makes breakfast. I
don't know if that's the only thing we teach y'all
how to make as a society. But a man can
make breakfast, you understand. So it's like I because like
(36:28):
I love you. Done of our favorite things that've been
having a hard time to find in New York. Patty sausage.
I love a patty sausage. I don't know why I
love a pat Wow. Okay, listen, hash Browns and wildfowls
scattered okay, smothered with oven with onions, covered with cheese, chunked,
(36:54):
grilled hickory, smoked tam diced grilled tomatoes, pepper and jalapenos,
capped grill's button mushrooms, topped is with birch chili. Country
is when they got the sausage gravy on top, or
you could get all of them. You can also get
(37:15):
it in a double, a triple, or a quadruple order. Now,
I don't know who's out here getting quadruple orders of
hash Browns. That sounds I've seen it, and you've all
we've all gone that's too much. That's too much. A
double order. Like it's like it's if it's been all
day and I was out like it's not often I
will get like a double order of hash brows.
Speaker 3 (37:38):
I saw a quadruple order. What time? And when that
band stood up, his gun fell out of his waistband like.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
That, that's so funny. There was no room for the gun.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
There was no room for the gun anymore. So this dude,
this dude got quadruple order of hash brows, ate them
all and when he got up, the gun was like,
it's too tight. I can't I can't be in.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I just I know there's people like listening that are
just like, we are so casual about talking about a gun,
and it's like y'all have to remember, like I grew
up in Georgia, Josh grew up in Louisiana, and we
both grew up in America. So if you have an
issue with what we're talking about, yeah, one, you forgot
(38:22):
where you live. Yeah, you forgot where you live. I
have no sympathy for you. You forgot where the hell
you live. You need to calm down. You need to
talk to your congressman. Okay, talk to your congressman. Make
it so that us talking about a pistola that it's
not so casual. But hey, man, sometimes your guns, like, yo,
you know, I gotta honestly, that lets you know the
(38:46):
strength and the vigor of a waffle house hash Brown.
If it's pushing guns out the waistband, come on, bro,
come on.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
To a gun fall like to a child. Floor has
a very particular clatter that oh yeah, everybody got real quiet,
oh because.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You're like, oh, that's not okay, okay, we know we
anybody just got to go, oh, sorry, my bad.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
I just he was just like, hey, my bad. And
then then he tried to put it back and it
was not going easy. That gun did not walk be
at his wife's bad anymore. I know, I was was
gonna shoot himself. Like I was like, what's well those
things where he really like hiked up his chest and
everything trying to make room, and.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
I started just because like he can't hold it walking out. Yeah, yeah,
it's gonna look crazy. Just this's just let's just rec
let's just recap and just think about this, Okay. Usually
when we have these conversations, we can have things to
say about the one thing and things to say about
(39:57):
the other thing. We have been talking about waffle House
most of the time because it's an engaging conversation. Okay,
because we know that wilf House is for the people. Okay.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
I understand that we've let waffle House dominate most of
the conversation because it's particular episode, but I think that
it's because I really wanted to give you the time
and attention for your waffle House arguments, to let you
sort of like put yourself on the grill and get burned,
because I think that they're not coming out quite like
(40:34):
you they are. Okay. I think that one of the
reasons that waffle House has been confined to the parts
of the country that it has been is specifically because
other states are like, we see the problems and we
don't want them. Okay, we see, we see the issue,
we see the issues. Hold on, we already have diners
(40:55):
that are better. Don't bring that. Okay. Wow, I think
that's what's happening.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Wow mm hmm. The disrespect, that's all hearsay I have
given you that, not even hearsay. That's Josh say, Okay,
we don't know why these other states don't have a
wife House. You don't know we also, no, no, no,
you can't say that the reason Wilfa House isn't in
(41:21):
other states. Is because of how Wilfi House has been
presented to the people. You're the proof for that. You
don't know. In the words of my mama, you don't know.
You don't know because you don't know. Okay. But I
think that's because big Diner, Okay, big.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Diner, Big diner, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Is keeping out the little guy.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
The little guy, the little the little mega corporation that
FEMA uses to track how bad a storm is.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
You cannot use FEMA. I'm now why because you used
because you were like that sorces of just closed. No, no, no,
you can't use it FEMA to defend your argument when
you were just shitting on FEMA for using for Waffe
House being with you can't do that.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
Now I can do I could do both because the
association is still there.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
That's not no, no, no, that's not right. That's not right.
That's not right.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
Denied that the association existed. I'm just saying it means
femas and shambles, but it's also tracking something that's not
a little guy. It's a mega corporation. So that's me
throwing out my there's more likely big waff House. There
is Big Diner Okay, I think that all these many
different types of diners for them to form a coalition
(42:44):
of eggs, bacon and hash browns and Monte crystal sandwiches
to keep out the whuses. Waff House has the power.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
And a stuffed flounder and your Thanksgiving dinner and you're
Calamari and I every thing I've ever had at a
diner tasted reheated?
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Is that here saying?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Is that here saying?
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Now I've worked in a restaurant before, and so of you.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
A restaurant, but I didn't know anything about one. You
chapters Lengthen.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
There's too there's too much food. Your burgers might get
in heavy rotation. Your breakfast stuff is definitely your eggs
are gonna constantly be going.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
Yeah, but leggs, by the way, not just a bunch
of egg juice, right, wif.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
House using whitle House uses real eggs.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Are we sure about that?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You see the basket of eggs when they're cooking your breakfast?
You see them?
Speaker 3 (43:37):
You see a basket of eggs. Do we see them?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Use? Yes?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Me?
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Bro watch them. You've never seen them cook.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I've seen them cook.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
They're right there. You're just being rude. Now you know,
good and damn well they be using them eggs. You know,
good and damn well they be using them eggs and eggs.
Don't just sit there. You've seen them refill the basket. Okay,
you've seen.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Them reaching those plastic eggs. How do we know?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Get off my internet, Get off my internet, Get off
my internet. I will not do this with you. You
can see them take the egg out the basket, crack it,
put it in a bowl, mix scrambled eggs, or put
it directly on the grill where some person is going
to have just the raw sunnyside as ashy.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Yeah, it's you know, hearsake because you said that. I
heard it.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Wow okay, no no, no, no, no, you had your
Josh say, I had my duel say so I will
not be.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
I mean, we have to give it to the people,
all right now, we have to give it to the people.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
It's are you team? Because this is diners and so
this is diners. Mean like any restaurant ends of the
word diner or are we including I hopandemics are those diners?
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Personally? I find them to be diners.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
I know it's steak and shake is a diner.
Speaker 3 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
I think when we were talking about this, I don't
I know, I wasn't considering the eye Hops or the Dennis.
I was thinking waffle House versus your true true diners.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Okay, So this is what we'll do, just to make
it clear for the people as we wrap up. All right, Okay,
when we go diners versus waffle House as well, I
want you to keep in mind is that we're just
talking about diners, like not not chains. So you know,
you don't have to give up your Golden Corral, your Denny's,
your Eye Hops or anything. We're just gonna have nd
(45:35):
diners versus waffle House is an institution. Okay, I will
say in the end, I can give you a little
bit of ground that waffle House has a level of
consistency that I appreciate. It also has a level of
calm even in the chaos that I appreciate because when
that dude's gun fell, it was like it was kind
(45:56):
of nothing, like it was like we we all stats
kind of nothing. But that's like that and a dine
or someone would have run, yes, because.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I'm sure the employees were the people that cared the
least that a gun just hit the floor. But I
can say the number of times I've seen a fight
in a waffle house it has It's been less than ten.
Calm down. I've never been worried like I was in
a Like I saw a fight in an eye hop
and I was like, Oh, we need to run. Yeah,
they're fighting in an eye hop. This is this is
(46:29):
a wild situation, right they mean it Like ever walked
into somewhere and been like there's fight energy in here,
Like there's just like.
Speaker 3 (46:37):
Yeah, if I walk in and I smell like just
the room smell yeah, spilled hennessy, I think that there's
there's definitely something that's about something either already happened or
something's about to happen.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Like when you smell dark liquor in a room, just
like like.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Yeah, and you smell it like off the floor, like
not I'm not talking about on people's breath or like
pouring drinks or I'm talking about the whole room has
a hint.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
You're like, no, we gotta go.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
I just want to thank everyone for listening. I appreciate
the points that you made, and I hope you can
see where I'm coming from that diners are far superior
and you were.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Not able to prove. You did not present any evidence
to prove that diners are superior. All you did was
try to bad mouth the WAFA house. You didn't give
me anything to do. All you said was diners have
a lot of options, and I order food like a child.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
So we're gonna hand it over to you, the listener.
All right, we appreciate you. We thank you for tuning in,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (47:44):
For listening to hold Up. It's always great to get
Josh being wrong on WAX and I'm Jill Day's son.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
I'm Josh Johnson. This has been hold up.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
Hey, make sure you vote correctly. God's watching.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
Listen to hold Up wherever you get your podcasts, and
watch the video version at Dailyshow dot com. Backslash hold
Up m
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