January 5, 2023 • 38 mins
“There's way more work that goes into the onion ring, but anything that's classy and of value is going to require more work.” - Dulcé Sloan
“You're telling me that you would rather, in your life, hot battered grease over onions than a delicious, freshly cut crinkled or curly potato. Because you're giving up all types of fries.” - Josh Johnson
It’s french fries vs. onion rings this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. #DailyShow #HoldUp #Podcast
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, everyone, it's Josh Johnson and we want to know
what do you want to hear us argue about next
on the show. Okay, it's very easy to let us know.
You can drop a comment on any of the Daily
Shows clips of hold Up, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, TikTok,
YouTube or Twitter. You can also hit us up with
the hashtag hold up and honestly, if we have an
(00:22):
opinion about it, we'll do an episode about it. We
both love to talk, we love to argue, and we
love you, so without anything else, let's let's get into
the show. Hey, everybody, welcome to hold Up. It's a
the show that's a lot about nothing. It's a big
arguments about small things. I am one of your co host.
(00:44):
My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for The
Daily Show, and I am joined by don't say slan.
You could also make a noise and you say no,
it's it's fine, it's fine. I didn't even say anything
this time. I wasn't even said why you can't be
like it's Josh, like you could do no, no, I'm
(01:08):
with you, but instead you want to hate on my
I wasn't hating. I didn't even say any face, my face.
I was looking down. I felt it through computer daughter. Okay,
I mean, if you say so, all right, But I
really wasn't even thinking about this stuff. I I want
(01:30):
to tell the people. M hmm. Today's topic is uh,
it's something that I even know would be contentious. You know,
we talked about small things. This is so small that
I didn't I never even thought it would come up
on the show. One of our listeners shout out to
Misty on the YouTube's brought it to us, and um,
(01:50):
we just didn't. You don't know till you know, you know,
until you feel it coming on. It's one of those
things you're like, oh, you know what, I do have
a our friends on this, and that should be discussed.
Today's topic is um, French Fries versus on your rings. Well,
(02:11):
I think we should do is give the people one
a moment to decide where they stand on this and
to a moment to decide where they think we are
going to stand. Play the music and we're back. Okay, yes, yes,
(02:36):
what did you decide? What did I decide? Where do
you think? Where did you land on this? Joshua? I
am French Fries. I'm on your rings. I'm on your rings.
I wrong again? Wow, wrong, wrong and wrong again. You
said it because I didn't say it about you, because
usually I'm the one telling you. Hey. But look, I
(03:00):
can admit sometimes I'm not right, but I can easily
admit when you're wrong. That comes to me quickly. Any old,
any old person, okay, any any anyone that walks in
nature doesn't anyone who takes breath can cut up a potato,
(03:21):
m put it in hot grease. The onion ring you
have to onon rings aren't offered everywhere. Onion rings. There's
different levels right to the onion ring. Some of them
are freshly made, some of them prepackaged. And also, I'm
just gonna throw in there's something that's onion ring adjacent
that I think I can throw in here, and I
(03:42):
think people are really going to get on board with,
and that is the blooming onion. Awesome blossom. You can
throw that in there. If tomato soup can be fucking catchup,
if tomato soup can be catch up. So, onion rings
were truly a red herring. Under rings were out here
(04:05):
just standing in the way before you could be like
blow blooming onion. No on Yours were not a red herring.
There were a blue marlin. So you're telling me that
you would rather in your life hot battered grease over
onions then a delicious, freshly cut, crinkled or curly potato,
(04:29):
because you're also giving up curly cues, all right, giving
up getting giving up all types of fries, because we're
when we say French fries, I'm not talking about just
one type of bagged, type of frozen type of fry.
All right, you're giving up the home fries style. Okay,
(04:49):
your hash on their mashed potatoes, make a make a decision.
You're giving up the waffle fry. Fine, just keep saying
wild things. Let's and this is what you don't know
about me. I'm not really fan of the potato to
start with. There are sometimes where you say things where
I'm like, I can't help you that it's really interesting,
(05:12):
like I love rice in regardless of my Irish last name,
because you know Slavery. I'm not a huge potato fan. Um.
I don't know when is that. I could tell you
it's probably been more than a decade since I've eaten
a mashed potato. I don't cook them at my house.
I don't even I don't buy them. I don't buy
(05:35):
the really eat it. The only time I have a
potato really is if I'm eating like a potato chip
or a French fry, and I don't really and so
the only really French fries I really really like other
crinkle cut fries with lowry seasoning, salt, okay, with hot wings.
So unless that's happening like the shoe string potato or
(05:57):
like the releasent one my my nemesis, they're off in
an assult to adulthood. But like curly fries are good
because there's always seasoned. But I always wonder whenever I
see a curly fried, and I'm like, okay, but like
where is the rest of because they can't all be
like curly fries are interesting. I just don't understand how
they make them. Um, I do understand people like people
(06:20):
love potatoes, people love bread. I don't love those things.
You you need, you need listen. I'm always surprised about
how ether size when I don't eat the very starchy things.
But there's other things that will make you fat, like genetics,
Like I just this is genetics in your life. The
(06:42):
love of a French fry. I would rather eat a tortia.
I'd rather eat a slice tortilla deep fried. Cutting the
strips potatoes have been bad. I'm not even saying that
that's that's a crazy thing. I'm just saying, a French
frid what you're missing out on in life? Because here's
thinking I gave up onion rings today, I'd be given
up something that I ate once, maybe a year, by accident,
(07:08):
because it's just what was at the table. Everyone decided
to split everything, and it's what somebody ordered. You know,
Onion rings can be done badly. Yeah, they can be.
I mean it also depends on you. Gotta get the
right because this is where I gain or lose respect
for somebody's onion ring. Okay, it all it exactly. It
(07:32):
all starts around the fold, around the actual onion. Because
if I bite in and there is a shoe string
of onion for this big old onion ring and I've
got nothing but a mouthful of corn meal, a We're
not friends anymore, you know, I hear you. I've also
had French fries that were overdone, that we're underdone, that
(07:54):
we're cold, that were you know, there's the steak fry.
There's the you don't like a steak fry. It's just
it's just too much potato. Sometimes you say it like
you've really been through it with them, Like you said
it like you try to give him a chance, And
then I really did. But my mom got this KFC
(08:17):
face and my brothers. One of my brother's homeboys used
to work at KFC, so we would get hooked up
all the time, and eventually I was just like, I
can't eat a quarter of a potato. M So when
you give me the fries, So it's like, first of all,
they only gave you like five fries. When you ate
all of them, you ate an entire ps like you
(08:39):
could put them together and they would make one whole potato.
And sometimes when you're chewing our friends right, like, sometimes
I'll just get stuck in your chest like you ever
had that? That has happened, and that is terrifying, right,
You're just like, that's what I'm like, I shouldn't be
eating any of this stuff, clearly because I've never had
I've never had a carrot get stuck. M gonna do
(09:01):
you like that carried on slide side stipping slide These
potatoes on the other hand, are just holding on all
the way down. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm not saying
either one of these are healthy. No. Also, sidebar, are
you in a short sleeve shirt? What you wear a
short sleeve shirt? Maybe let you see? No? Never what
(09:31):
how dare my modesty? But for those of you that
don't know, I have never seen Josh Johnson's elbows. So
if you have Josh is a good Christian woman, You'll
(09:53):
never see his ankles or his wrist. You will never
see johnsh Johns's elbows or knees. France that the day,
not ever, they got pants on at the beach. Yep, yep,
even when we all when Daily Show went to Miami,
(10:14):
I walked on the beach a sneakers and long pants.
I'm so glad I did to see you. I would
have pushed you in here, not even high waters, like
straight up ready to go. I would have I would
have hit you with a clumbo went saying like it
was a fucking snowball, and I would have gone back
(10:35):
to my room. I would have put on some different jeans.
Oh man. The whole time we were in Miami, I
didn't have a whole anything. I had addressed. There was
a whole back was out fucking posing for pictures of Trevor.
My toes were never covered the entire time I was
in ever. See that's that's like, I mean, that's a
(10:59):
different discuss and for a different day. But like the
fact that people are out here thinking that sandals or shoes,
I cannot abide it. You know, I was born in
Miami and we lived there, like I was born and raised,
born in Miami, is raised land in Miami. So the
fact that I was like, oh I'm home, bro tells
us out, titties was out, knees was out, the whole, Like,
(11:22):
come on, doctor. And I'm not even saying I don't
like sandals. I'm just saying sometimes especially this is a
New York thing, right, because New York is nasty. So
sometimes something nasty will happen to somebody's foot in New
York and they'll act like they had a shoe on.
(11:42):
But I'll be like, no, you were in sandals, so
when the rat ran over your foot, of course it
touched your toes because you're not wearing shoes, right. That's
just set yourself up for success, is all I'm saying.
They also you have to pay more attention. I do
people walking through New York who aren't paying attention. Yeah yeah,
(12:03):
I mean, if you are walking in New York, it's sandals.
At the bottom of your foot when you get done
with your day is black. You're not wearing a shoe,
then we're out with the elements. I understand Walmart feet
is an issue, okay, because that's when my country asked
(12:24):
friend told me, at the bottom of your feet are black.
She calls it Walmart feet. And the first time she
said I was like what she said, with your bottom
of your feeting like people walking through a Walmart barefoot.
And I was like, this is this. This is thank
you Lagrange Georgia's because this is this is accurate. I
love a sandal. I hate when closes. I mean you
(12:46):
already know the listeners know this. I hate all of
the ac culture amount that comes with fucking non warm weather.
I have very pretty feet I have. I got pedicures
with my mom and everybody go see her home girl
so she could pick up her with and we are
pedicures and we were showing our pedicures off and my
mother was like, look at the baby toe. You never
(13:07):
seen that full of a nail on the baby toe
before and her and her own girls in there going
no why why Everyone at the salon was amazed by
the full whole nail on this baby toe and they
were and I was like, my secret, I never wear
pinching shoes because my mother, you know, she's like, if
a shoe was cute, she's at fuck that, okay, And
(13:31):
as soon as it gets warm, told her out, toes
are out because that ends up happening with people. Because
I'm not even like a foot person or anything, you
know what I mean, I'm not grossed out by feet,
but I just don't think about feet, you know. But
I will say, I will say for most people, you know,
(13:54):
if you don't react, it didn't happen. I know. But
I'm gonna react because the way you said, whoops onion rings,
they have to have there's a time thing. If you
(14:17):
don't get them right at the right time, it's they're
gonna be soft. They're gonna be cold. But also like
a cold French fry, oh, a cold French fry, as
a punch in the tongue is a punch in the
tongue and the in your back, Like I don't want
(14:37):
to feel. I don't want anything that's not back tight,
Like you're like, I gotta, I gotta finish these. But
now my back is tight because I ate the cold
as French fries and ate too many of them because
but also we have to remember is like I don't
know what happened a couple of years ago, but like
or tater talks started hitting restaurants and I was like,
(15:00):
the funk was this? We I guess it got tired
of selling them the elementary schools and all, and somebody
was in a meeting like, yo, I'm telling you, we
send this to one fucking funky restaurant, you know, some
cool glass restaurant, and these ships will blow up. And
now all over the South you get tattos and fucking poutine,
(15:21):
tater tots and all kinds of ship and tater tots.
You know what tater tots are. They're the hot dogs
of potatoes. First of all, how dare you? No? No, no, no,
that's how it happened. Do you ever see that show
How It's Made? No? Maybe I have, I don't think so.
Oh that show How It's Made. Josh was on that
show How it Was Made? They I've never seen your
(15:45):
four arms um on that show How It's Made. They
were saying that tater talks came about because when they
would make French fries there would be these off cuts
and they were like throwing away all of this like
off cut, and they're like, wait a minute, how do
we utilize these because the pieces would be so small
(16:08):
you couldn't turn them in anything else. And somebody was
in some dude was like, hey, I found thinking about
this and that's on tear tizes have got invented because
they were all the fucking off cuts of French fries.
Would you consider the tater tide of French fry? Do
you do? You really believe that? Because I understand the
n pieces, I understand the origin. But now when people
(16:29):
are specifically making tear totes under themselves, do you consider
those French fries? I don't think so. You don't think so,
because I feel like they fall in camp. They fall
in camp, they fall in camp um. Because also, like
you know, there's two different types of hashbrowns. There's the
hash browns that are like the ones from a Awful House,
and then there's the hashbrowns are the ones from McDonald's
(16:51):
knowing to McDonald's are just flat just grown up tear
talks basically, yeah, yeah, but I do. I do love
love a McDonald's hash brown. When I was little, McDonald's
hash brown and McDonald's fries were the only reasons that
I like even looked at the McDonald's. I like the
(17:11):
toy sometimes, but I wasn't a burger kid. Like like
I grew to like hamburgers, but when I was a
little kid, the hash browns and the French fries We're
all I needed. You didn't like burgers as a kid,
I thought they were fine, but I wasn't excited. I
(17:32):
think we've all given the burger entirely too much credit
because we act like that this is like this magnets,
let's American fair food. I was also the saddest, Like
we go to an American fair restaurant, You're just like, okay,
(17:52):
a burger and then what like tell me because like,
because America is just slapped ash fucking place, because America
is a business and not a country. Truly. We talked
about fucking freedom, but it's it's a fucking business more
than anything. Remember as a kid, getting like one of
those kids across the World books, and they would have
(18:15):
kids in their traditional clothing of their country. And then
it got to the United States and it was a
kid is I because I was a boy and a girl. Right,
So I'm looking at the traditional clothing of Poland, fucking uh, China, Japan, Mexico,
(18:36):
Argentina right, showing you that, Russia showing you the traditional
clothing of these countries and a little paint with water book.
It gets to America fucking T shirt and jeans m hm,
and I was like, we have nothing. We have nothing.
So it's like that's why I think about it, Like
(18:57):
America is just like because we're a fucking we invented
the jeans, right, we invented dinnam right, just so it's like, okay,
I get it. I'm sure we invented, but it's also
we invented denam to protect people from machinery. And people
are like, I love wearing jeans, and I'm like, bitch,
you're in and like you're in a you're in protective gear.
(19:21):
Like it's like and plus, jeans have never been comfortable.
We can all calm down, right, So it's like American's
a fucking business. It's like of course, it's like we
have a few things, let's get them right, French fries
and figured that the funk out the potato. The onon ring,
it's like it's a delicate balance. I'll give its delicate balance,
you know. Onion rings are like when you get a
(19:43):
good onon ring with a little bit of give, crispy
but a little bit of give. Also those are like
a good solid onion in there. Yeah, yeah, something with
a bit of crunch, right, because you've had onion rings
where just like all these just been sitting in the
window where the fund was the server, right, I'll tell
you right now too. Sometimes you bite in and you
(20:06):
get like this and this is maybe this this is
maybe too specific of an experience, but I feel like
this must happen other people. You bite into the onon ring, right,
you get you get halfway through, and that's when you
realize that, like the rest of the onion ring itself,
the actual onion is like, now we go together. You're
(20:28):
not biting through anything, and so now you've been through
the crust of the onion ring. But the actual onion
is tough. It's like a little slimy, and it's like
it's not gonna break for you. What I don't like
is when people don't peel enough of the onion, so
you've got the flesh of an onion and then you
(20:51):
get that papery part because it's all in the same
yep yep. Yeah. And I and the just the anger
I had one day these were good onion rings and
this was the last one, and I was like, you
mother fuckers. Why, But like also, but then there's like
(21:13):
the burger King onion ring and just sometimes getting your friers.
You're just like because one of my friends she was like,
she only likes the burger King onion ring. And I
was like, but it's not even like a real it's
like an onion kind of someone's like onion paste in there.
It's not like a real It's not like because you've
got an onion ring in your friens before burger King,
(21:33):
there's not it's not like it's a real I don't
think it's like a real onion onion in there. And
she was like, yeah, that's why I like it, because
it's not a real onion. But it's like I because
any time I see onion rings on the menu, I
get excited. Every time I don't always order them because
I'm just like, you know what, you need to calm that.
(21:54):
You need to calm down. You need to calm down.
I've been looking at the thing that's a thing on TikTok, like, hey,
you got too much dipper on your chick. You need
to relax. You need to relax. And that's what I'm
trying to do it. I'm not make sure I'm not
out here with too much diploma chip. Okay, speaking of dip,
the French fry is the perfect dipping utensil. But but
(22:18):
that means that you're your focus is the dip and
not the fry. No, no, it's both, it's both. I love,
I love what a burger? What a burger? Water burger?
People do not honestly, when are they gonna fucking franchise?
Where are they gonna be bro water Burger? I remember
(22:39):
I went to Texas one TI. I was like when
I first started going on the road doing colleges and
I was starving. I flew in late the night before
because you always had a fly on that night before,
and I had no mode of transportation. And this was
when and uber wasn't popping like it's popping. Now Uber
Eats wasn't even a thing. So I paid the dude
(23:01):
in cash to take me through the drive at water Burger.
And the number of times I remember leaving the Texas
Airport and I was like, it was like the Dallas
Airport because I don't think it's in the Austin airport.
It's not an Austin airport. There's a water Burger in
the Dallas Airport. At the time, I had to go
to a different terminal mm hmm, And I was like,
(23:23):
I actually got to the airport on time. I'm going
to walk the minutes to this other tournamental to get
this water Burger and the I'm gonna eat it in
the plank because when I tell you that the right
sauce with the right French fry cannot be matched, like
like you already you've already told me that the lit
(23:47):
places don't have the onion rings right, so it's not
even an option in some places, yes, but everybody everywhere
has French fries. And once again you were talking about it.
When something is available everywhere, does that make them a
loose woman? Who? No? Does this make the potato of fluzi?
Or is it adaptable, industrial and cheap to produce it is.
(24:08):
But what I would say is I have no problem
with the potato being an ethical slut, all right, I
hear you, I hear you. But I think that it's
not something. A lot of places don't offer onion rings
because their work right everywhere offers French fries because you
(24:31):
just buy them frozen. But I think we could do
better for ourselves when it comes to the French fried potato. Also,
we cannot talk about French fries and I'll talk about
the fact that, uh, we started calling them freedom fries.
I was like, white people don't have enough problems, and
(24:57):
no one got on boards. No one got on board.
Freedom fries is great. Do you remember the nonsense? Yeah? Yeah,
I guess the French wouldn't go to war with us
or some ship. So we stopped. Like they're like, we're
calling was like, it doesn't They don't even call these that.
They don't call them French fries. We do. They call
(25:20):
them palm fruits, which is it's just fried fucking potatoes. Now,
does every type of country do a French fry? I
don't know, because I feel like an onion ring is
very American specific. Yes, it's one of those things where
like this is just us, We're the only ones doing
this because honestly, I've been to Australia. I ain't seen
(25:43):
now bloom and onion the whole fucking time I was there.
But they don't. They do have onions. Everywhere has onions.
So that's what I'm always taken aback wide because the
blooming onion. Because this is the thing. This is also
why a part of me took issue with you wrapping
the bloomen on get into the your rag, because they're
not two different things. They're almost like tater tots and
(26:04):
French fries. But the bloom and onion the power of
a blue. But hey when you remember my first blue
but oh yeah, it's amazing. Oh I think this is
all I eat now, right, which is you you would die,
don't do that, but truly die. But the bloom and onion.
I'm blown away that more countries aren't doing that. I
(26:28):
remember I worked at this place called Old Time Potter
and I was in high school and I bought you know,
you actually have to like the cuts for that thing
are actually really hard to do and just a regular
because there's so many because it's like you have to
cut it so much, but you can't get through the
base of it. I wout to fall apart, and I
remember buying the little it's almost like a guess what
there's going to call it as a jig where it's
(26:49):
got the it's slots as the two but slots in it,
and you cut off the top like the very top
of an onion. You put this down in it, and
then you do you go around with a knife and
just do all of these cuts. And then we made
the tempera batter on Friday. Now was like we we
we were going to do this all the time, like
(27:11):
this is a problem. But the first time you have
a blew it on your cut it, you put it
in a little sauce. Now, the other thing is the
range that the French fries are coming with, because, like
I said before, you got the waffle fried, you've got
the thick cut fries, You've got the skinny, itty bitty fries,
you've got the curly fries, you've got the sweet potato fries.
(27:31):
Now that's a whole different creature, sweet potato. They are
out here doing everything that the regular French fries doing
in the same shapes and the same size. But this
is the thing with the sweet potato fry. If you
don't know how to fry that bitch, right, you just
have a mushy orange French fry. No, that's true. That
the number of times I've just had just the mushy
(27:56):
foldable limp flash and sweet potato fry. Yeah, and you
want people teti fries to be good. You don't succeed, Yeah,
you want them to succeed. You know, it's nice to
see some diversity in the fry industry, right, A potato
of color just coming in? Yeah, sure, you know what
(28:35):
the title of color. I'm with you, though, It's time
we end the segregation at the plate. Yeah, you know,
people already don't want their food to touch. So I
think it's like the your ring is like when I
see them, I get them, and there's it's I can
(28:56):
see them for as much as I really love them.
I've been disappointed so many times, but I keep trying.
It's like I'm a believer. It's like, you know what,
I went back to the same man multiple times in
eight years, and it was never good. So I'm already
making bad decisions. Why not just keep trying these fucking
(29:16):
onion rings. But when you get an onion ring, that's good.
You're like, oh, because like my mom made on your rings.
One day, man, my mom be cooking bro I saw
her one day temper a fry a pound of broccoli
and two pounds of green beans, and it sounds like
a lot, but it's not. You think a pound is
(29:37):
bigger than what it is. And she's doing it. And
my brother was like, why are you frying these vegetables?
Even healthy? And my mother was like, honestly, she's sitting
there eating fire green She's like, honestly, I never even
like vegetables. I just ate them for y'all. And she's
sitting there. Let me let me throw this out there, though,
let me throw this out there. I think one of
(29:59):
the only reasons that we fry green beans is because
we have potatoes and we have French fries. And somebody
looked at a green being one day and they were like,
what if this was a French fry too? Hm. I
think that that's what happened. I have no proof, there
is no evidence behind what I'm saying, but oh, it's
(30:24):
like I believe that, Like, after thinking about it, I
think magnetic lashes are gonna make women cross when not
women whoever wears magnetic lashes, I think it's gonna make
them cross at And because I was saying to my mom,
I was like, I always try his magnetic glass because
she wears lashes all the time. And then I was like,
I think many people cross, Like why don't you going
to try it? And I was like, no, I changed
my mind about it. Don't try it, don't do it,
don't do it, don't do it. I have absolutely no
(30:46):
evidence that a magnetic lash advertised too. So they put
metal shavings because magnets need metal. Yeah. Yeah, So there's
metal shavings in an eyelighter and you put the liner
(31:07):
on your eyes and then you put it on the lash,
and then because of magnetism, is stick to your fucking eyes.
This seems like a bad idea. Thank you of metal
that they were like, there's some metal shavings in the water.
It's like, all right, that's getting cut up. Or I
(31:31):
needed just a strong bridle filter. I'll go as far
as say this, I think that we get the shards
that we do now of carrot of squash, you know
those very thin almost circle shards that that people cut
things into and they either fry them up or they
(31:52):
serve them as a garnish. I think that that comes
from curly cues. I think that comes from the shoe
string fry. Okay, I you know when you see like
the spiral cut vegetables, or like the zucchini noodle, which
I tried the zucchini noodle and it really broke my heart. Yeah. No,
I fought for it for a long time. There was
(32:13):
a place that did zucchini noodles and pat time, and
I wanted to love it so badly. Every time I
bit down, I was like, this is too much of
a battle, This is too much of it. If it's
on my plate, it should be it should be dead.
Especially a vegetable fighting back felt very much alive. And
(32:34):
she was not welcome. No, because it wasn't it was
a soft crutch. It was the texture was this rofessional
was not supposed to be at a sauce like this.
It's like it was coming from a place that should
have been cooked down. Yes, it would be like if
you were eating your KFC and in the middle of
the meal the chicken woke up. It was like, hey,
(32:56):
why are you eating me? Like yo? I was like,
oh my god, could you imagine? I'll say this because
you know, we've all we both want the restaurants, the
French fries. They do their own French fries. It's a
box basically of blades. You put the potato, you pull down,
You put the potato you pulled down, put the potato
(33:16):
you pulled out. With the onion ring. You gotta slice
it up. Then you gotta separate it. Then you got
to toss it in batter. Then you gotta deep fright.
So there's way more work that goes into the onion ring.
But anything that's a classy end of value is gonna
require more work. The potato is a simple, simple person.
(33:37):
He's a simple guy, you know, m he's uh, he's
a simple guy. He probably enjoys staycations. No, probably enjoys
when your time. Wow, how absolutely there? What you mean?
I mean the fact that the fact that you tried
(34:01):
to bring it all the way back around. I'm just
saying I can understand. Listen, I hayten hating that onion
rings will never reach the pinnacle, the level, the echelon.
Oh no, no, no, no, no no, of a French fry.
No no, no, no, no no no. There is no
(34:22):
echelon to be met when you are pedestrian. Okay, there
is no there is no to call a perfectly fried
waffle fried pedestrian. Just lets me know how out of
touch you really are. A waffle fry is just the
French fry with complexity. They just had We had somebody
(34:47):
with some time. That's all. That's all because you know
what waffle fries people are not. No one's cutting people
will cut French fries out of restaurant. They don't not
taking time and a bity restaurant to make their own
waff of fry. That is a factory. No one's making
their own curly fries. That is a factory. You understand
(35:09):
this is factory work. This is factory food. Okay, I'm
not saying that it's factory food. It's factory food. Do
you want do you want people in your kit? I'm
not saying I don't have to join in my life.
What I'm saying is that I want to expand my experiences. Okay,
(35:32):
I want to do new things with my palette. Everybody
sells French fries. If you got hot grease, you can
sell a fucking French fry. Not everybody's taking the time
needed to make a waff of fry because it's not
for everybody. Okay, that's not work that everyone can do.
(35:53):
You have to know what your skill level is, your
level of determination, Okay, your ability to make this batter,
to make sure these fries, make these on your rings
is cut right. French fries doesn't shoot. They strap it
to the wall. That French fries culdn't thing. If you've
(36:16):
made your own fries in your own restaurant. They strapped
that bitch to the wall. All Right, you know what
we're gonna do. We're gonna kick it over to the listener.
Let's sake over. What you're not gonna do? Ask the
people because what I'm because, listen, this is gonna be
another statecation of vacation situation. I'm coming from a different
place in life, and apparently I'm coming pedestrian. You out
(36:39):
here with shoes on the boots on the ground, front
on the ground. You let us know what you feel.
Are you an onion ring fan or your French fry lover? Okay,
I know more people are gonna say French fry, and
I'm fine with that, because if I got on this
(37:01):
podcast trying to impress people, I would be wrong. I'm
just here. It's not about being changing hearts and minds.
It's about letting people know that you don't know what
to do with your mouth. Okay, we want to hear
from all of you. You know what do you love? What?
(37:24):
What can you maybe not stand? Okay? Do you sign
with Duels Say? Do you think that on your rings
are better? Or do you side with me and think
that French fries are a delight? Okay? Let us know.
If you are looking to catch up with us on
the socials, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy
on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. I also have another podcast
(37:47):
called The Josh Johnson Show. And if you are looking
for Duels Say, you can find me on a lot
of the socials except Tumbler. I don't know if that
page still works in as anybody on my space, but
you can find me on the Stuff we Funk with
at dul Say Sloan and it's d u l c
E s l o N. We're gonna spoil across the
bottom of screen. You and we appreciate you listening. We
(38:12):
appreciate you tuning in every week. Um we hope you
have a great rest of the day. And Whap babba,
blue babba, wap bamboo. This has been hold up. We've
covered conscious wrap versus club bangers, bars versus body wash,
diners versus waffle houses, all sorts of things. What else
(38:34):
should we be talking about? We want to know from you.
Let us know, drop us a comment or hit hold
up on social at the Daily Show
Hey, everyone, it's Josh Johnson and we want to know
what do you want to hear us argue about next
on the show. Okay, it's very easy to let us know.
You can drop a comment on any of the Daily
Shows clips of hold Up, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, TikTok,
YouTube or Twitter. You can also hit us up with
the hashtag hold up and honestly, if we have an
(00:22):
opinion about it, we'll do an episode about it. We
both love to talk, we love to argue, and we
love you, so without anything else, let's let's get into
the show. Hey, everybody, welcome to hold Up. It's a
the show that's a lot about nothing. It's a big
arguments about small things. I am one of your co host.
(00:44):
My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for The
Daily Show, and I am joined by don't say slan.
You could also make a noise and you say no,
it's it's fine, it's fine. I didn't even say anything
this time. I wasn't even said why you can't be
like it's Josh, like you could do no, no, I'm
(01:08):
with you, but instead you want to hate on my
I wasn't hating. I didn't even say any face, my face.
I was looking down. I felt it through computer daughter. Okay,
I mean, if you say so, all right, But I
really wasn't even thinking about this stuff. I I want
(01:30):
to tell the people. M hmm. Today's topic is uh,
it's something that I even know would be contentious. You know,
we talked about small things. This is so small that
I didn't I never even thought it would come up
on the show. One of our listeners shout out to
Misty on the YouTube's brought it to us, and um,
(01:50):
we just didn't. You don't know till you know, you know,
until you feel it coming on. It's one of those
things you're like, oh, you know what, I do have
a our friends on this, and that should be discussed.
Today's topic is um, French Fries versus on your rings. Well,
(02:11):
I think we should do is give the people one
a moment to decide where they stand on this and
to a moment to decide where they think we are
going to stand. Play the music and we're back. Okay, yes, yes,
(02:36):
what did you decide? What did I decide? Where do
you think? Where did you land on this? Joshua? I
am French Fries. I'm on your rings. I'm on your rings.
I wrong again? Wow, wrong, wrong and wrong again. You
said it because I didn't say it about you, because
usually I'm the one telling you. Hey. But look, I
(03:00):
can admit sometimes I'm not right, but I can easily
admit when you're wrong. That comes to me quickly. Any old,
any old person, okay, any any anyone that walks in
nature doesn't anyone who takes breath can cut up a potato,
(03:21):
m put it in hot grease. The onion ring you
have to onon rings aren't offered everywhere. Onion rings. There's
different levels right to the onion ring. Some of them
are freshly made, some of them prepackaged. And also, I'm
just gonna throw in there's something that's onion ring adjacent
that I think I can throw in here, and I
(03:42):
think people are really going to get on board with,
and that is the blooming onion. Awesome blossom. You can
throw that in there. If tomato soup can be fucking catchup,
if tomato soup can be catch up. So, onion rings
were truly a red herring. Under rings were out here
(04:05):
just standing in the way before you could be like
blow blooming onion. No on Yours were not a red herring.
There were a blue marlin. So you're telling me that
you would rather in your life hot battered grease over
onions then a delicious, freshly cut, crinkled or curly potato,
(04:29):
because you're also giving up curly cues, all right, giving
up getting giving up all types of fries, because we're
when we say French fries, I'm not talking about just
one type of bagged, type of frozen type of fry.
All right, you're giving up the home fries style. Okay,
(04:49):
your hash on their mashed potatoes, make a make a decision.
You're giving up the waffle fry. Fine, just keep saying
wild things. Let's and this is what you don't know
about me. I'm not really fan of the potato to
start with. There are sometimes where you say things where
I'm like, I can't help you that it's really interesting,
(05:12):
like I love rice in regardless of my Irish last name,
because you know Slavery. I'm not a huge potato fan. Um.
I don't know when is that. I could tell you
it's probably been more than a decade since I've eaten
a mashed potato. I don't cook them at my house.
I don't even I don't buy them. I don't buy
(05:35):
the really eat it. The only time I have a
potato really is if I'm eating like a potato chip
or a French fry, and I don't really and so
the only really French fries I really really like other
crinkle cut fries with lowry seasoning, salt, okay, with hot wings.
So unless that's happening like the shoe string potato or
(05:57):
like the releasent one my my nemesis, they're off in
an assult to adulthood. But like curly fries are good
because there's always seasoned. But I always wonder whenever I
see a curly fried, and I'm like, okay, but like
where is the rest of because they can't all be
like curly fries are interesting. I just don't understand how
they make them. Um, I do understand people like people
(06:20):
love potatoes, people love bread. I don't love those things.
You you need, you need listen. I'm always surprised about
how ether size when I don't eat the very starchy things.
But there's other things that will make you fat, like genetics,
Like I just this is genetics in your life. The
(06:42):
love of a French fry. I would rather eat a tortia.
I'd rather eat a slice tortilla deep fried. Cutting the
strips potatoes have been bad. I'm not even saying that
that's that's a crazy thing. I'm just saying, a French
frid what you're missing out on in life? Because here's
thinking I gave up onion rings today, I'd be given
up something that I ate once, maybe a year, by accident,
(07:08):
because it's just what was at the table. Everyone decided
to split everything, and it's what somebody ordered. You know,
Onion rings can be done badly. Yeah, they can be.
I mean it also depends on you. Gotta get the
right because this is where I gain or lose respect
for somebody's onion ring. Okay, it all it exactly. It
(07:32):
all starts around the fold, around the actual onion. Because
if I bite in and there is a shoe string
of onion for this big old onion ring and I've
got nothing but a mouthful of corn meal, a We're
not friends anymore, you know, I hear you. I've also
had French fries that were overdone, that we're underdone, that
(07:54):
we're cold, that were you know, there's the steak fry.
There's the you don't like a steak fry. It's just
it's just too much potato. Sometimes you say it like
you've really been through it with them, Like you said
it like you try to give him a chance, And
then I really did. But my mom got this KFC
(08:17):
face and my brothers. One of my brother's homeboys used
to work at KFC, so we would get hooked up
all the time, and eventually I was just like, I
can't eat a quarter of a potato. M So when
you give me the fries, So it's like, first of all,
they only gave you like five fries. When you ate
all of them, you ate an entire ps like you
(08:39):
could put them together and they would make one whole potato.
And sometimes when you're chewing our friends right, like, sometimes
I'll just get stuck in your chest like you ever
had that? That has happened, and that is terrifying, right,
You're just like, that's what I'm like, I shouldn't be
eating any of this stuff, clearly because I've never had
I've never had a carrot get stuck. M gonna do
(09:01):
you like that carried on slide side stipping slide These
potatoes on the other hand, are just holding on all
the way down. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm not saying
either one of these are healthy. No. Also, sidebar, are
you in a short sleeve shirt? What you wear a
short sleeve shirt? Maybe let you see? No? Never what
(09:31):
how dare my modesty? But for those of you that
don't know, I have never seen Josh Johnson's elbows. So
if you have Josh is a good Christian woman, You'll
(09:53):
never see his ankles or his wrist. You will never
see johnsh Johns's elbows or knees. France that the day,
not ever, they got pants on at the beach. Yep, yep,
even when we all when Daily Show went to Miami,
(10:14):
I walked on the beach a sneakers and long pants.
I'm so glad I did to see you. I would
have pushed you in here, not even high waters, like
straight up ready to go. I would have I would
have hit you with a clumbo went saying like it
was a fucking snowball, and I would have gone back
(10:35):
to my room. I would have put on some different jeans.
Oh man. The whole time we were in Miami, I
didn't have a whole anything. I had addressed. There was
a whole back was out fucking posing for pictures of Trevor.
My toes were never covered the entire time I was
in ever. See that's that's like, I mean, that's a
(10:59):
different discuss and for a different day. But like the
fact that people are out here thinking that sandals or shoes,
I cannot abide it. You know, I was born in
Miami and we lived there, like I was born and raised,
born in Miami, is raised land in Miami. So the
fact that I was like, oh I'm home, bro tells
us out, titties was out, knees was out, the whole, Like,
(11:22):
come on, doctor. And I'm not even saying I don't
like sandals. I'm just saying sometimes especially this is a
New York thing, right, because New York is nasty. So
sometimes something nasty will happen to somebody's foot in New
York and they'll act like they had a shoe on.
(11:42):
But I'll be like, no, you were in sandals, so
when the rat ran over your foot, of course it
touched your toes because you're not wearing shoes, right. That's
just set yourself up for success, is all I'm saying.
They also you have to pay more attention. I do
people walking through New York who aren't paying attention. Yeah yeah,
(12:03):
I mean, if you are walking in New York, it's sandals.
At the bottom of your foot when you get done
with your day is black. You're not wearing a shoe,
then we're out with the elements. I understand Walmart feet
is an issue, okay, because that's when my country asked
(12:24):
friend told me, at the bottom of your feet are black.
She calls it Walmart feet. And the first time she
said I was like what she said, with your bottom
of your feeting like people walking through a Walmart barefoot.
And I was like, this is this. This is thank
you Lagrange Georgia's because this is this is accurate. I
love a sandal. I hate when closes. I mean you
(12:46):
already know the listeners know this. I hate all of
the ac culture amount that comes with fucking non warm weather.
I have very pretty feet I have. I got pedicures
with my mom and everybody go see her home girl
so she could pick up her with and we are
pedicures and we were showing our pedicures off and my
mother was like, look at the baby toe. You never
(13:07):
seen that full of a nail on the baby toe
before and her and her own girls in there going
no why why Everyone at the salon was amazed by
the full whole nail on this baby toe and they
were and I was like, my secret, I never wear
pinching shoes because my mother, you know, she's like, if
a shoe was cute, she's at fuck that, okay, And
(13:31):
as soon as it gets warm, told her out, toes
are out because that ends up happening with people. Because
I'm not even like a foot person or anything, you
know what I mean, I'm not grossed out by feet,
but I just don't think about feet, you know. But
I will say, I will say for most people, you know,
(13:54):
if you don't react, it didn't happen. I know. But
I'm gonna react because the way you said, whoops onion rings,
they have to have there's a time thing. If you
(14:17):
don't get them right at the right time, it's they're
gonna be soft. They're gonna be cold. But also like
a cold French fry, oh, a cold French fry, as
a punch in the tongue is a punch in the
tongue and the in your back, Like I don't want
(14:37):
to feel. I don't want anything that's not back tight,
Like you're like, I gotta, I gotta finish these. But
now my back is tight because I ate the cold
as French fries and ate too many of them because
but also we have to remember is like I don't
know what happened a couple of years ago, but like
or tater talks started hitting restaurants and I was like,
(15:00):
the funk was this? We I guess it got tired
of selling them the elementary schools and all, and somebody
was in a meeting like, yo, I'm telling you, we
send this to one fucking funky restaurant, you know, some
cool glass restaurant, and these ships will blow up. And
now all over the South you get tattos and fucking poutine,
(15:21):
tater tots and all kinds of ship and tater tots.
You know what tater tots are. They're the hot dogs
of potatoes. First of all, how dare you? No? No, no, no,
that's how it happened. Do you ever see that show
How It's Made? No? Maybe I have, I don't think so.
Oh that show How It's Made. Josh was on that
show How it Was Made? They I've never seen your
(15:45):
four arms um on that show How It's Made. They
were saying that tater talks came about because when they
would make French fries there would be these off cuts
and they were like throwing away all of this like
off cut, and they're like, wait a minute, how do
we utilize these because the pieces would be so small
(16:08):
you couldn't turn them in anything else. And somebody was
in some dude was like, hey, I found thinking about
this and that's on tear tizes have got invented because
they were all the fucking off cuts of French fries.
Would you consider the tater tide of French fry? Do
you do? You really believe that? Because I understand the
n pieces, I understand the origin. But now when people
(16:29):
are specifically making tear totes under themselves, do you consider
those French fries? I don't think so. You don't think so,
because I feel like they fall in camp. They fall
in camp, they fall in camp um. Because also, like
you know, there's two different types of hashbrowns. There's the
hash browns that are like the ones from a Awful House,
and then there's the hashbrowns are the ones from McDonald's
(16:51):
knowing to McDonald's are just flat just grown up tear
talks basically, yeah, yeah, but I do. I do love
love a McDonald's hash brown. When I was little, McDonald's
hash brown and McDonald's fries were the only reasons that
I like even looked at the McDonald's. I like the
(17:11):
toy sometimes, but I wasn't a burger kid. Like like
I grew to like hamburgers, but when I was a
little kid, the hash browns and the French fries We're
all I needed. You didn't like burgers as a kid,
I thought they were fine, but I wasn't excited. I
(17:32):
think we've all given the burger entirely too much credit
because we act like that this is like this magnets,
let's American fair food. I was also the saddest, Like
we go to an American fair restaurant, You're just like, okay,
(17:52):
a burger and then what like tell me because like,
because America is just slapped ash fucking place, because America
is a business and not a country. Truly. We talked
about fucking freedom, but it's it's a fucking business more
than anything. Remember as a kid, getting like one of
those kids across the World books, and they would have
(18:15):
kids in their traditional clothing of their country. And then
it got to the United States and it was a
kid is I because I was a boy and a girl. Right,
So I'm looking at the traditional clothing of Poland, fucking uh, China, Japan, Mexico,
(18:36):
Argentina right, showing you that, Russia showing you the traditional
clothing of these countries and a little paint with water book.
It gets to America fucking T shirt and jeans m hm,
and I was like, we have nothing. We have nothing.
So it's like that's why I think about it, Like
(18:57):
America is just like because we're a fucking we invented
the jeans, right, we invented dinnam right, just so it's like, okay,
I get it. I'm sure we invented, but it's also
we invented denam to protect people from machinery. And people
are like, I love wearing jeans, and I'm like, bitch,
you're in and like you're in a you're in protective gear.
(19:21):
Like it's like and plus, jeans have never been comfortable.
We can all calm down, right, So it's like American's
a fucking business. It's like of course, it's like we
have a few things, let's get them right, French fries
and figured that the funk out the potato. The onon ring,
it's like it's a delicate balance. I'll give its delicate balance,
you know. Onion rings are like when you get a
(19:43):
good onon ring with a little bit of give, crispy
but a little bit of give. Also those are like
a good solid onion in there. Yeah, yeah, something with
a bit of crunch, right, because you've had onion rings
where just like all these just been sitting in the
window where the fund was the server, right, I'll tell
you right now too. Sometimes you bite in and you
(20:06):
get like this and this is maybe this this is
maybe too specific of an experience, but I feel like
this must happen other people. You bite into the onon ring, right,
you get you get halfway through, and that's when you
realize that, like the rest of the onion ring itself,
the actual onion is like, now we go together. You're
(20:28):
not biting through anything, and so now you've been through
the crust of the onion ring. But the actual onion
is tough. It's like a little slimy, and it's like
it's not gonna break for you. What I don't like
is when people don't peel enough of the onion, so
you've got the flesh of an onion and then you
(20:51):
get that papery part because it's all in the same
yep yep. Yeah. And I and the just the anger
I had one day these were good onion rings and
this was the last one, and I was like, you
mother fuckers. Why, But like also, but then there's like
(21:13):
the burger King onion ring and just sometimes getting your friers.
You're just like because one of my friends she was like,
she only likes the burger King onion ring. And I
was like, but it's not even like a real it's
like an onion kind of someone's like onion paste in there.
It's not like a real It's not like because you've
got an onion ring in your friens before burger King,
(21:33):
there's not it's not like it's a real I don't
think it's like a real onion onion in there. And
she was like, yeah, that's why I like it, because
it's not a real onion. But it's like I because
any time I see onion rings on the menu, I
get excited. Every time I don't always order them because
I'm just like, you know what, you need to calm that.
(21:54):
You need to calm down. You need to calm down.
I've been looking at the thing that's a thing on TikTok, like, hey,
you got too much dipper on your chick. You need
to relax. You need to relax. And that's what I'm
trying to do it. I'm not make sure I'm not
out here with too much diploma chip. Okay, speaking of dip,
the French fry is the perfect dipping utensil. But but
(22:18):
that means that you're your focus is the dip and
not the fry. No, no, it's both, it's both. I love,
I love what a burger? What a burger? Water burger?
People do not honestly, when are they gonna fucking franchise?
Where are they gonna be bro water Burger? I remember
(22:39):
I went to Texas one TI. I was like when
I first started going on the road doing colleges and
I was starving. I flew in late the night before
because you always had a fly on that night before,
and I had no mode of transportation. And this was
when and uber wasn't popping like it's popping. Now Uber
Eats wasn't even a thing. So I paid the dude
(23:01):
in cash to take me through the drive at water Burger.
And the number of times I remember leaving the Texas
Airport and I was like, it was like the Dallas
Airport because I don't think it's in the Austin airport.
It's not an Austin airport. There's a water Burger in
the Dallas Airport. At the time, I had to go
to a different terminal mm hmm, And I was like,
(23:23):
I actually got to the airport on time. I'm going
to walk the minutes to this other tournamental to get
this water Burger and the I'm gonna eat it in
the plank because when I tell you that the right
sauce with the right French fry cannot be matched, like
like you already you've already told me that the lit
(23:47):
places don't have the onion rings right, so it's not
even an option in some places, yes, but everybody everywhere
has French fries. And once again you were talking about it.
When something is available everywhere, does that make them a
loose woman? Who? No? Does this make the potato of fluzi?
Or is it adaptable, industrial and cheap to produce it is.
(24:08):
But what I would say is I have no problem
with the potato being an ethical slut, all right, I
hear you, I hear you. But I think that it's
not something. A lot of places don't offer onion rings
because their work right everywhere offers French fries because you
(24:31):
just buy them frozen. But I think we could do
better for ourselves when it comes to the French fried potato. Also,
we cannot talk about French fries and I'll talk about
the fact that, uh, we started calling them freedom fries.
I was like, white people don't have enough problems, and
(24:57):
no one got on boards. No one got on board.
Freedom fries is great. Do you remember the nonsense? Yeah? Yeah,
I guess the French wouldn't go to war with us
or some ship. So we stopped. Like they're like, we're
calling was like, it doesn't They don't even call these that.
They don't call them French fries. We do. They call
(25:20):
them palm fruits, which is it's just fried fucking potatoes. Now,
does every type of country do a French fry? I
don't know, because I feel like an onion ring is
very American specific. Yes, it's one of those things where
like this is just us, We're the only ones doing
this because honestly, I've been to Australia. I ain't seen
(25:43):
now bloom and onion the whole fucking time I was there.
But they don't. They do have onions. Everywhere has onions.
So that's what I'm always taken aback wide because the
blooming onion. Because this is the thing. This is also
why a part of me took issue with you wrapping
the bloomen on get into the your rag, because they're
not two different things. They're almost like tater tots and
(26:04):
French fries. But the bloom and onion the power of
a blue. But hey when you remember my first blue
but oh yeah, it's amazing. Oh I think this is
all I eat now, right, which is you you would die,
don't do that, but truly die. But the bloom and onion.
I'm blown away that more countries aren't doing that. I
(26:28):
remember I worked at this place called Old Time Potter
and I was in high school and I bought you know,
you actually have to like the cuts for that thing
are actually really hard to do and just a regular
because there's so many because it's like you have to
cut it so much, but you can't get through the
base of it. I wout to fall apart, and I
remember buying the little it's almost like a guess what
there's going to call it as a jig where it's
(26:49):
got the it's slots as the two but slots in it,
and you cut off the top like the very top
of an onion. You put this down in it, and
then you do you go around with a knife and
just do all of these cuts. And then we made
the tempera batter on Friday. Now was like we we
we were going to do this all the time, like
(27:11):
this is a problem. But the first time you have
a blew it on your cut it, you put it
in a little sauce. Now, the other thing is the
range that the French fries are coming with, because, like
I said before, you got the waffle fried, you've got
the thick cut fries, You've got the skinny, itty bitty fries,
you've got the curly fries, you've got the sweet potato fries.
(27:31):
Now that's a whole different creature, sweet potato. They are
out here doing everything that the regular French fries doing
in the same shapes and the same size. But this
is the thing with the sweet potato fry. If you
don't know how to fry that bitch, right, you just
have a mushy orange French fry. No, that's true. That
the number of times I've just had just the mushy
(27:56):
foldable limp flash and sweet potato fry. Yeah, and you
want people teti fries to be good. You don't succeed, Yeah,
you want them to succeed. You know, it's nice to
see some diversity in the fry industry, right, A potato
of color just coming in? Yeah, sure, you know what
(28:35):
the title of color. I'm with you, though, It's time
we end the segregation at the plate. Yeah, you know,
people already don't want their food to touch. So I
think it's like the your ring is like when I
see them, I get them, and there's it's I can
(28:56):
see them for as much as I really love them.
I've been disappointed so many times, but I keep trying.
It's like I'm a believer. It's like, you know what,
I went back to the same man multiple times in
eight years, and it was never good. So I'm already
making bad decisions. Why not just keep trying these fucking
(29:16):
onion rings. But when you get an onion ring, that's good.
You're like, oh, because like my mom made on your rings.
One day, man, my mom be cooking bro I saw
her one day temper a fry a pound of broccoli
and two pounds of green beans, and it sounds like
a lot, but it's not. You think a pound is
(29:37):
bigger than what it is. And she's doing it. And
my brother was like, why are you frying these vegetables?
Even healthy? And my mother was like, honestly, she's sitting
there eating fire green She's like, honestly, I never even
like vegetables. I just ate them for y'all. And she's
sitting there. Let me let me throw this out there, though,
let me throw this out there. I think one of
(29:59):
the only reasons that we fry green beans is because
we have potatoes and we have French fries. And somebody
looked at a green being one day and they were like,
what if this was a French fry too? Hm. I
think that that's what happened. I have no proof, there
is no evidence behind what I'm saying, but oh, it's
(30:24):
like I believe that, Like, after thinking about it, I
think magnetic lashes are gonna make women cross when not
women whoever wears magnetic lashes, I think it's gonna make
them cross at And because I was saying to my mom,
I was like, I always try his magnetic glass because
she wears lashes all the time. And then I was like,
I think many people cross, Like why don't you going
to try it? And I was like, no, I changed
my mind about it. Don't try it, don't do it,
don't do it, don't do it. I have absolutely no
(30:46):
evidence that a magnetic lash advertised too. So they put
metal shavings because magnets need metal. Yeah. Yeah, So there's
metal shavings in an eyelighter and you put the liner
(31:07):
on your eyes and then you put it on the lash,
and then because of magnetism, is stick to your fucking eyes.
This seems like a bad idea. Thank you of metal
that they were like, there's some metal shavings in the water.
It's like, all right, that's getting cut up. Or I
(31:31):
needed just a strong bridle filter. I'll go as far
as say this, I think that we get the shards
that we do now of carrot of squash, you know
those very thin almost circle shards that that people cut
things into and they either fry them up or they
(31:52):
serve them as a garnish. I think that that comes
from curly cues. I think that comes from the shoe
string fry. Okay, I you know when you see like
the spiral cut vegetables, or like the zucchini noodle, which
I tried the zucchini noodle and it really broke my heart. Yeah. No,
I fought for it for a long time. There was
(32:13):
a place that did zucchini noodles and pat time, and
I wanted to love it so badly. Every time I
bit down, I was like, this is too much of
a battle, This is too much of it. If it's
on my plate, it should be it should be dead.
Especially a vegetable fighting back felt very much alive. And
(32:34):
she was not welcome. No, because it wasn't it was
a soft crutch. It was the texture was this rofessional
was not supposed to be at a sauce like this.
It's like it was coming from a place that should
have been cooked down. Yes, it would be like if
you were eating your KFC and in the middle of
the meal the chicken woke up. It was like, hey,
(32:56):
why are you eating me? Like yo? I was like,
oh my god, could you imagine? I'll say this because
you know, we've all we both want the restaurants, the
French fries. They do their own French fries. It's a
box basically of blades. You put the potato, you pull down,
You put the potato you pulled down, put the potato
(33:16):
you pulled out. With the onion ring. You gotta slice
it up. Then you gotta separate it. Then you got
to toss it in batter. Then you gotta deep fright.
So there's way more work that goes into the onion ring.
But anything that's a classy end of value is gonna
require more work. The potato is a simple, simple person.
(33:37):
He's a simple guy, you know, m he's uh, he's
a simple guy. He probably enjoys staycations. No, probably enjoys
when your time. Wow, how absolutely there? What you mean?
I mean the fact that the fact that you tried
(34:01):
to bring it all the way back around. I'm just
saying I can understand. Listen, I hayten hating that onion
rings will never reach the pinnacle, the level, the echelon.
Oh no, no, no, no, no no, of a French fry.
No no, no, no, no no no. There is no
(34:22):
echelon to be met when you are pedestrian. Okay, there
is no there is no to call a perfectly fried
waffle fried pedestrian. Just lets me know how out of
touch you really are. A waffle fry is just the
French fry with complexity. They just had We had somebody
(34:47):
with some time. That's all. That's all because you know
what waffle fries people are not. No one's cutting people
will cut French fries out of restaurant. They don't not
taking time and a bity restaurant to make their own
waff of fry. That is a factory. No one's making
their own curly fries. That is a factory. You understand
(35:09):
this is factory work. This is factory food. Okay, I'm
not saying that it's factory food. It's factory food. Do
you want do you want people in your kit? I'm
not saying I don't have to join in my life.
What I'm saying is that I want to expand my experiences. Okay,
(35:32):
I want to do new things with my palette. Everybody
sells French fries. If you got hot grease, you can
sell a fucking French fry. Not everybody's taking the time
needed to make a waff of fry because it's not
for everybody. Okay, that's not work that everyone can do.
(35:53):
You have to know what your skill level is, your
level of determination, Okay, your ability to make this batter,
to make sure these fries, make these on your rings
is cut right. French fries doesn't shoot. They strap it
to the wall. That French fries culdn't thing. If you've
(36:16):
made your own fries in your own restaurant. They strapped
that bitch to the wall. All Right, you know what
we're gonna do. We're gonna kick it over to the listener.
Let's sake over. What you're not gonna do? Ask the
people because what I'm because, listen, this is gonna be
another statecation of vacation situation. I'm coming from a different
place in life, and apparently I'm coming pedestrian. You out
(36:39):
here with shoes on the boots on the ground, front
on the ground. You let us know what you feel.
Are you an onion ring fan or your French fry lover? Okay,
I know more people are gonna say French fry, and
I'm fine with that, because if I got on this
(37:01):
podcast trying to impress people, I would be wrong. I'm
just here. It's not about being changing hearts and minds.
It's about letting people know that you don't know what
to do with your mouth. Okay, we want to hear
from all of you. You know what do you love? What?
(37:24):
What can you maybe not stand? Okay? Do you sign
with Duels Say? Do you think that on your rings
are better? Or do you side with me and think
that French fries are a delight? Okay? Let us know.
If you are looking to catch up with us on
the socials, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy
on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. I also have another podcast
(37:47):
called The Josh Johnson Show. And if you are looking
for Duels Say, you can find me on a lot
of the socials except Tumbler. I don't know if that
page still works in as anybody on my space, but
you can find me on the Stuff we Funk with
at dul Say Sloan and it's d u l c
E s l o N. We're gonna spoil across the
bottom of screen. You and we appreciate you listening. We
(38:12):
appreciate you tuning in every week. Um we hope you
have a great rest of the day. And Whap babba,
blue babba, wap bamboo. This has been hold up. We've
covered conscious wrap versus club bangers, bars versus body wash,
diners versus waffle houses, all sorts of things. What else
(38:34):
should we be talking about? We want to know from you.
Let us know, drop us a comment or hit hold
up on social at the Daily Show
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