February 16, 2023 • 48 mins
“So this is the thing about the chicken sandwich. You can have it fried, you can have it grilled, you can have a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant. That's always nice.” - Dulcé Sloan
“It is possible with burgers to get something rare, medium, medium-well, well-done. Temperature alone adds four times to whatever type of burger you want to have.” - Josh Johnson
It’s chicken sandwiches vs. burgers, the battle of the sandwiches, this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.
#DailyShow #HoldUp #Podcast
Click here for Dulcé’s tour dates: dailyshow.com/dulcesloan
Click here for Josh’s tour dates: dailyshow.com/joshjohnson
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Friends, Americans, countrymen. Lend me your taste buds, give me
that Matt tell you welcome to Hold up everyone. I'm
(00:21):
one of your co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson.
I'm a river for the Daily Show. Okay, I'm joyed
by days long. Okay, I didn't know if you're really
gonna let that pause? Sit there? All right, you are
joined by Dulce, Lizaria Sloane. It is me, welcoming you,
(00:47):
Welcome to me. Hello's your ears? A little little little
little little little all right, well today, why are you
always looks not annoying? It's not my fat tom don't work. Look,
tongue works, all right. I'm using it right now to
form words, So it works. If my tongue didn't work,
(01:11):
it would just be but it's not. It's fully formed wards.
If you have a tongue. If you don't have a tongue,
you probably if your tongue didn't have any muscle to
it, it it would just be hanging and you'd be like,
tell you, yeah, you sound like Charlie Brown's daddy. We
all yo. If I get a message from somebody to
(01:36):
talk about they don't have a tongue, I am gonna
lat Yeah, they have a ton, but they have thumbs,
so they gonna let you die they feel have yeah,
bet thumbs extra fast. Today's episode is about in a way.
(01:59):
In a sense, it might end up that way if
you start you start start off just saying wild things,
then maybe it's gonna be about you and your opinions.
But right now, it's about chicken sandwiches versus burgers. Okay,
which which place do you land? Ask yourself? Truly? All right?
Do you like a nice juicy burger in between whatever?
(02:22):
Your favorite type of bread is, brioche, uh, sour dough,
if anything that you like as a sandwich. This is
the battle of the sandwiches. Right now, we got chicken
sandwiches coming in. Do you like them chopped like a barbecue?
Do you like them hold like some Chick fil a?
What do you what do you like? What? Is it
a file a situation? Do you just want to cram
(02:43):
a piece of breast meat in between the two buns,
sauce it up real good, and eat it up? Maybe
that's your whole vibe. No sandwich is wrong in this scenario.
It's just about which one is better? Okay, So Josh
telling people. First of all, I'm gonna let everybody have
to get people time to guess, play the music, Josh,
(03:11):
telling people where you stand on this, because I don't
think that they I think this is gonna be like
the chocolate and vanilla situation. They're gonna think that they know,
but they don't. Let me tell you the prime and
the superior superior sounds racist. Go ahead, and that's just this.
(03:32):
A word can't be attached to the thing all the time.
Some things are just better. Come on, you just talking
about the supremacy, the sandwich supremacy, the full sandwich supremacy
of the burger. Alright, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all knew he
(03:55):
was gonna say that. What else would he say? Let
me let me tell you right now, Come on in
a burger, Come on in as sandwich as old as time.
Like Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, the beauty is
the bread, the beast is the meat. The beauty and
(04:17):
the beast of sandwiches. It's too good, and it's too classic,
and it's too versatile. Bobby best I heard in a while. Listen,
I have a question, m hm, do you only consist?
Would you partake in a burger that wasn't on a bunt.
(04:41):
Did you grow up eating burgers on bunts? It's a
part of my life I'd like to forget. Okay, so
like me, your mother didn't always buy bunts or we
we had the mismatch of on to meet ratio. That
(05:02):
only happens with hot dogs. No, no, no, because sometimes
you can buy uh, if you buy like packaged burgers,
like frozen package burgers, you might you might get twelve
in the in the box of frozen burgers, but then
in the actual bun package there's uh, there's eight, and
you do that. I remember comments talking about their hot
(05:23):
dog hot dog bun math just for the ways of
the numbers. To get even, you gotta buy forty of each. Yeah. Yeah,
that's where you meet up with it. Okay, that's why
people at barbecues don't have a problem, because they got
so many that it lined up. You know, I can't
say that. There were times where sorry, I'm sorry, No,
(05:47):
it's just funny. It reminded me of I remember in Chicago,
which of my friends as he was having a hot dog,
but he just had the regular sliced bread. I remember
saying to him. I was like, oh man, we really
are poor. Huh, because it's not like the hot dog
(06:09):
bud is that much more expensive, you know what I mean,
Like it's really still just bread. But the fact that
he was like, all right, dog, look all I really
got is these uh is these uh what is it called?
Was it bunny bread? He's like, all really, guys, buddy bread?
And I was like, ah, but here's the thing, though,
(06:30):
he's being the most cost effective. Yeah, what you have
to do when you are broke? Yes, I'm with you.
All I know is I got so accustomed yeah eating,
not that we didn't have the money, but a lot
of times it was just down to like, I'm not
(06:52):
a big bread person to start with. Oh I see, yeah,
I do like the hot dog. But though but really,
but what but a lot of time a hot dog buns,
I end up pulling a lot of the bread off.
WHA's want a hot dog? About one side? So I
was thicker than the other anyway, what when they cook
(07:17):
hot dog buns? The base of a hot dog butt
isn't the bottom the side of a hot dog, but
is actually the bottom bakes up, it fluffs up, but
then you're cutting it through the middle. But then isn't
that middle? Can't that middle be even sometimes because I
feel like it's it's not as it's not always super even.
(07:37):
What I'm saying is that a lot of times the
hot dog buns I end up pulling out of the
bread off anyway. But with hamburger buns sometimes it would
be too much bread. So because I'm not a bread
person to start with, So when my mom would make burgers,
she would do it with regular bread, and I loved
(07:59):
it because she bought hotp because like when people buy burger, like,
she bought burger buns one time for like because you
on my birthday of July four so I've been at
every fucking barber on the planet. She bought buns one
time and they were for like there were people that
were coming, and I was like, okay, but did you
get regular bread? And She's like, I got buns. I
(08:19):
was like, but did you hear regular bread? I got buns.
Just don't ask you. That's not that's not gonna help me.
I need the regular bread. We gotta do smush this
other bread to make this work. I don't want to
do this with you. So what I'm saying is I
prefer if I'm gonna have an amburgassa mm hmm, like
(08:45):
a restaurant. Obviously you're not getting a regular bread. But
like now that you can get a burger as a
rap because you know I love tortilla. So now that
you can get a burger as a rap. Game changer. Okay,
game changer. Let me tell you now. What I also
(09:07):
want you to tell me is how the the deeply
stunted I'll just say stunted because it's not its fault.
It can only be one thing, the chicken sandwich. Tell
me how that matches up in any way to the
versatility that burgers bring to the table. Before I address
(09:28):
this tech, what I will do is proved you proved
to me the versatility. Okay, I can do it real quick,
do a real quick um temperature. For one, you can
get a burger depending on where you are. You know,
not every place does it, but it is possible with
(09:50):
burgers to get something rare, medium, medium, well well done.
Temperature alone adds four times to whatever type of burger
you want to have. Okay, but that's just the nature
of beef's cooking chicken at different temperatures. No, we agree.
(10:12):
So are you just you can only enjoy your chicken
one way cooked? Yeah, but there's different levels of cook
to beef, which means there's different levels of cook to burger.
This point that you're making right now is so wild
it sounds like I said, Oh no, no, no, This
(10:33):
point that I'm making right now should be opening your mind.
All right, if you want, you can cook chicken at
any temperature you want, Will you make it out alive?
Hold the fun? But there's nothing stopping you from cooking
chicken at different temperatures. No, No, what's stopping you is
(10:53):
it won't be It will be nasty if you have
rare chicken. You know what I'm saying. Even the idea
right now is disgusting to me. Whereas, what do you mean,
how do we don't don't try to give me the
poison myself. I'm just saying, how do we know? Has
anyone tried? Yes, and they've all died of salmonella poisoning? Hey, baby,
(11:17):
my sickness or my fitness. But you're gonna get out
of here somewhere, Sam, How you cook something? Yeah? Because
I thought the wildest because like I thought, the wildest
thing was a steak being rare, there is a lower
temperature than rare. You know blue. Yeah, that's horrifying. Blue is.
(11:40):
I don't even play with blue at all. I don't
even entertain the idea. Like if somebody gets a blue
steak in front of me, I'm like, I thank you
so much for telling me you were a killer. For
those that don't know, when you order something blue, it's
it's literally just slightly slightly touched on both sides by
a hot pan to kill any bacteria and then serve
(12:00):
to you like it makes called blue is because it's
still cold. Yeah, it's not even seared to the point
of sealing it. And like it's not even like a
rare one like rare is you know the it can
potentially be cold in the middle. We're talking about a
straight up steak that they were just like we flipped
it on the pan twice to get rid of any
(12:22):
liability on our side. But if you want to eat
it like this, go ahead, have at it. But what's
the difference between that and a beef tartar? Because beef
tartar is completely a cook beef. Not only have I
never entertained the idea of a beef tartar. I refuse
to look at a menu or a plate with a
(12:44):
beef tartar on it because there are people in this
world I don't I don't understand them, and I don't
I I don't think I know anyone personally, but the
amount of people that I've seen have beef tartar with
an uncooked egg on top. Bro I was just going
(13:05):
to say, that is violence, all right, if you want
to know what you can do going into to be
a better person, not that stop doing that, whatever, what whatever,
lad you there seek the help you need. That is
(13:25):
such a whole horror rififying site to see, to see
a raw egg on top of some raw beef, and
then to just see somebody go to town. The first
time I saw it, I actually thought it was it
was fear Factor. I was watching a cooking channel, and
I thought, no, it had no known to be on
(13:46):
the cookie channel. You didn't cook anything. I must have
changed the channel to fear Factor. Joe Rogan is going
to pop up in any second, because this is a
challenge that should only be taking place on network TV
for the good of the money of the company. And
then when I found out it was a quote unquote dish.
(14:07):
I was furious. Now there are people that are gonna say, hey,
this is a dish of my culture, because I don't
think this is just why people eat this. I think
people of color in places do eat this. So we're
not shipping because again I don't want your as people
who consume American food, right mm hmm, raw beef will
(14:30):
make you sick. Yeah, because this is why I don't
understand about this dish. Remember they would tell us not
eat cake batter because there was a raw aggain it
and you might get salmonilla. I wow, I'm glad to
talked to you today because I made it through my
whole life without ever hearing that that's how you were
supposed to bet. Cake battery didn't stop me and anybody
I know. Fuck, no, I never know anybody gets sick. No, No,
(14:51):
I did not know that. You think I got sick
making a dunking Hinze chocolate because I put two eggs
in a third of a couple of oil in it.
Now I'm here to tell the Okay, I just for
one just thinking about this making me noxious? Um, isn't it?
It's like it makes right? Like what do you eat
(15:11):
that I'm first of all, we're putting wrong. We're putting
the sunny side up egg. You know why egg prices
went up because all of these restaurants are throwing sunny
side up eggs on a fucking hamburger. That's why the
prices are going up in these damn egs. That's how
we ran out. And then somebody were you the one
that told me the real reason. I don't think people like, oh,
it's aving fluid. Somebody was like, no, the subsidies are gone.
(15:33):
We were doing so there. Okay, there was South Camerain
who told me there were egg subsidies for poultry farmers,
and they ran out into the prices shot up because
the government subsidies on the way. Okay, I don't if
it's true. What I'm saying is we're doing a lot
with burgers. Right. The chicken sandwich, so one the chicken sandwich.
(15:56):
You get your options, you can. You know, some people
do a breast, some people do aside. I love the
chicken sandwich one of them. By yeah, I pre dark meat, Okay,
I will buy a pack of chicken thighs. If I'm
buying chicken, I'm buying chicken. Thighs. I'll buy chicken thighs,
(16:18):
ground chicken or leg quarters. That's my order. And so
this is thing. My chicken sandwich. You can have fried,
you can have a grilled, you can have chicken salad
sandwich on a croissant. That's always nice. So you're saying
the different temperatures that you can get of meat of beef, right,
(16:38):
there's different styles of cooking for a chicken sandwich, right,
So like you don't often I mean it's like a
Country five steak or like a million Like you don't
really see a lot of like breaded beef. Mhm, but
we bread chicken all damn day. Right, And my least
favorite chicken sandwich is a grilled chicken sandwich because my
(17:00):
least favorite way of having chicken is grilled chicken. Okay,
but because if you get grilled chicken, it's usually your
breast and the breast is the driver's part. If you
gave me a grilled chicken thigh sandwich, now, okay, So
I just want to make sure that we're clear. Do
(17:21):
you think that the chicken sandwich is more versatile than
the burger? Yes, And you're saying that's because of the
styles of cooking. So you're saying that you just gave
me temperature, trying to say it was versatile. That's it's
a totally different experience to right, And the difference of
having a chicken salad sandwich compared to a fried chicken
(17:44):
sandwich is definitely a different experience in your mouth. So
we're talking about the versatility. You're giving me temperature. So
we're both talking about cooking methods. It's still beef, it's
still chicken. One is rid, one's grilled, and one is cooked,
and then you know, you make a little salad out
(18:04):
of it. So we're talking about versatility. But I'm saying,
is there's more that's a burger is grilled, right, Burgers,
for the most part, aren't getting deep fried, And no
one's because we do pulled pork sandwiches, but no one's
(18:25):
doing pulled beef because because the chicken. Because the chicken
salad sand which is basically killed a cook chicken present
you pulled apart. So basically chicken salad is pulled chicken, okay,
on a pork, And why pork is the only one
when we pulled though by name, But everyone else is
(18:45):
out here just getting stretched out. There's also something to
be said for the different grades and types of beef,
which I actually think range fall are there, then chicken,
because you can correct me if I'm wrong, But to
my knowledge, it's like there's dark meat and there's white meat.
(19:08):
There isn't chicken. That's like, oh, yes, this is um
um Korean chicken specifically, right, so wagoo beef and stuff
like that exactly. But again that goes to the nature
of the meat that you're cooking, because you know how
you can make sevici where you're using like lemon juice.
Literally it's cooking the fish or lemon. And I thought
(19:31):
I was sevi was a condrop honestly, because I remember
my Uncle Joel making conk salad and he's squeezing like
a tomato and like lemon and lime juice and coming
up stuff. And I was like, age, just something me got,
said Uncle Joel, it's not cook He said, no, the
lemon juice cooks the meat. And I said, no, Uncle Joe,
heat cooked meat. Mm hmm. So for me, by little
(19:51):
nine year old brain was like, Negro, you're not gonna
tell me that fruit cook shrimp. It's not gonna happen
sitting in a made meat made a shrimp pink nah,
And it wasn't utime I saw somebody make it where
I was like, okay, I mean, sure, you know that's
how If that's how you live your life, that's God
(20:12):
you served. I hear you. But this ship is still
a wild So the fact you can't use lemon juice
to cook beef, you can't lose lemon juice to cook
chicken because it's just the nature of the meat. So
there are there's different types of chickens, but I think
(20:35):
when it comes to the store, it's just here's chicken
like you have. Like the first time I saw a
black chicken at the Ranch ninety nine market in l
A Like black skinned chicken. Okay, have you ever seen
this these African American chickens. I have not. It is
I mean, you're calling black chicken. But the skin's like
purple almost. And the lady, uh, very nice, um Asian
(20:59):
Marria woman, and she had in her cart and it
was like me and my friends were like, oh, she's
like oh yeah. She said it's good, you know, to
make soups. You know, it's good for women's health. And
I was like right right, right, right right, Coco Coca cool,
But KFC, ain't never gonna be frying up Church's chicken
is never gonna be frying up some purple skin chicken
(21:21):
is Everybody, we go, the fuck is this? Because Americans
would believe that they just I would think the skin
was artificially colored because I've only seen chickens one way.
We are talking about the nature of the meat, because
if even if there are different breeds of chicken, no
(21:44):
one's telling us that because you got your Angers beef,
you got your Wago beef, and then you've got your
regular beefe. But the only reason we know that there's
different types of beef is because people have decided that
there's higher price points on these other cut on these
other o the grades. Yeah, species, but it's also like
there's grades and then there's species. Oh yeah, like an
(22:05):
Anger's cow is a different kind of cow than like
a dairy cow mm hmm. And then was it Kobe, Yeah,
there's Kobe, there's Wago angus. These are just differently bread.
It's like breeds of dog. It's also ranged, though it's
also ranged. I'm not saying there's not ranged, but it's
like it's just that we have to acknowledge it's just
(22:27):
the nature of that animal, like we make you don't
be like age beef, which have always been confused about
what do you mean, Like this beef has been aged
for ninety days and so this meat has just been out. Yeah,
but they have to um there's I can't remember what
(22:48):
it's called, but there's something delicate about the process where
they do have to like let it air out. That's
why they have those smoke houses, why they have some
of those um well, smoke meats is like different because
it's like there's certain processes you do with certain animals,
Like you know, we make sausage from pork. Now we're
doing chicken sausage. Uh, you know, we get bacon from pork,
(23:12):
and apparently now we're doing turkey sausages. We all know
turkey sausages a scam and that's why we got to bacon.
Is the real scam? Said, turkey bacon is a scam. Yeah,
that's what I was saying. Let me let me tell
you say this about burgers for a second as well.
Is that I acknowledge that there is in both good
and bad ways, arrange with burgers I've had truly, fundamentally,
(23:37):
unequivocally disgusting burgers. Okay. I've had burgers that I'm like,
I'm like, y'all, y'all shouldn't be allowed to put bread
next to me at all, not even in the freezer. Okay.
And then I've had burgers that made my day. Sometimes
it was the pick me up I needed. It lifted
my soul, all right, it was the soul food that
(24:00):
I needed. I've had burgers that when I bit into
it was so crisp and all the right places, was
so perfectly buttered on the bun was so like absolutely
crunchy at the tip of the meat where it's pressed
against the grill that it made me want to pray
say my grace again. Okay, all right. And I also
(24:25):
had chicken sandwiches, and in my experience, chicken sandwiches have
less of a range, both in versatility and in like
just the general vibe of I mean, to your point, yeah,
breast meat chicken sandwich is gonna be mostly the same
thing outside of the seasoning. I had a chicken thighed
(24:46):
chicken sandwich for the first time. I was like, why
is everybody not doing this? I would put the best
chicken sandwich that I've ever had up against the best
burger they've ever had, and I think I would confidently
serve both of them, two people, and let them decide
(25:10):
which one they enjoyed more. And I think they come
back and tell me that the burger was true, true fire.
Wouldn't that depend on where you got the burger from?
What do you mean in like a blind test? What
I'm saying is that we've all have good burgers, We've
all had bad burgers. We've got good chicken Sammies, We've
(25:31):
had bad chicken Sammy's. I'm just saying that I feel
like sometimes we give burgers more credit than they deserve.
That's just what I just what I think. No, I'm
(25:51):
with you, I'm with you. Look, you're allowed to your opinion.
I just think that when it comes to juiciness and
when it comes to grip, because let's let's that's been
a quick second talking about the grip of a sandwich,
all right, when you're holding on to that thing, I
have the Sammy by the love handles, okay, side to side, Okay.
(26:16):
I think that for me, I've seen less slippage with
burgers than with chicken sandwiches because the chicken sandwich was
not necessarily made to go in the patty form even
a feele. First of all, I love how you say
like because I feel like the rest of us are
saying it wrong. I feel like all of us are
(26:41):
not giving it the respect that it deserves. Well, that's
very kind. I appreciate you appreciating it. Hey man, these
feeles get in. I love it. Um. Well, this is
the other thing about burgers, Okay that I don't think
you're because you brought up the temperatures of meat, but
(27:05):
you did not bring up the types of meat that
can't be burgers. Okay, I mean I thought I did,
but maybe I missed something. No, because you didn't talk
about the turkey burger. M you can talk about the
veggie burger. I mean I wanted to level the playing
field somewhat because now if I if I hit you
(27:25):
with veggie burger turkey burger, I don't think chicken has
a chance. Listen, First of all, we don't know turkey
burgers are trash everyone no one likes them. No one
likes them. Eat them because you have to, because your
doctor told you that you're gonna lose because you're in trouble. Yes,
veggie burgers are because vegetarians can't hold onto the fact
that they can't eat whatever they want any more. Because
(27:48):
about a black bean burger, This is the thing that's
still a veggie, because the thing is a black bean
burger still has rice and carrots and other ship in it.
You didn't make a whole patty out of black beads. Okay,
it's still I remember when the Boca Burger came out,
changing nigga's lives. Okay, these impossible burgers, we may get sued,
(28:10):
but I'm telling you, there's meeting that bitch, there's me.
We've all had an impossible burgers said, you won't lie
to me to day. You will not impossible. Yes, I
know you niggas put beat juice in here. So if
I cooked this rare, it's like bludder is coming out
this A lot of these like these veggie I remember
(28:31):
asking a nutrition like my nutrition is on my all nutritions.
I was like a question, can I have these veggie
sausage patties? And she was said, let me look them up.
I like thinking, I told her the company and she
looked him up. But she looked at all the ingredients
(28:52):
and she was like, I'd rather you eat pork. Wow.
I said, what she said, this is a chemistry test. Wow.
She said this is supposed to be heard. She said,
there's so many chemicals in this. She said, your body
can break down pork this. She's like, just eat the meat. Wow.
(29:13):
She said, don't need a bunch. I mean, like obviouslyn't
need the whole back. But like she said, two of these.
She said, yeah, you look at the calories and stuff
like that. She said, but there's she said, there's so
many chemicals in here, so many, so many chemicals, so
many addams, all this other stuff. She's like, just eat
regular sausage, wow, because your body can break it down.
(29:33):
And I was like, she's also the one that told
me that fruit was a car. Oh yeah, And I said,
excuse me, excuse me fruit, miss lady. It's fruit. He
said fruit is a car. And I said, you're telling
(29:56):
me that fruit and bread man at the same thing
in the body in the Bible there, like sometimes I
even know why I try, Like, dude, I've never know.
(30:20):
I was like my mom in a moment that when
I just said that back to you in the body
in the Bible. But maybe he's so happy. I need
to shout out Mary Anne Hill. You know, yeah, media
here in the body there are there are fruits that
(30:40):
process like carbs. No, it's all a card all fruits
because like what Iver started, because like my little trick,
she was telling me. It's like I can't have do
you know what? That's all this weight? I can't I
couldn't have tropical fruit. Also, you know what I couldn't
have it. I was surprise alt people grapes really whit
(31:04):
white white grapes, because he says, grapes have as much
candy as sugar as candy. Oh I can see that. Yeah,
especially you can pop them really easy, can pop them
like candies. Do you ever have potton candy grapes. I've
stayed away from them. I don't want to like a
new thing. Let me tell you something. Put them in,
(31:27):
he said. It was in the fridge for a good minute,
in the cold, cold, cold like col or, like pop
in the freezer. Don't let me get frozen froz because
the frozen grapes disgusting. But a crack too. But cod
candy grapes, cold cold, cold, you can sell a much
of car nibs all day. But also who the funk
asked for this? Asked for the grapple science. But the
(31:53):
thing about the grapple is that grapples don't smell like grapes.
They smell like purple grape flavor. Grape flavor don't taste
like grapes. Grape flavor is what purple tastes like. I
feel like every fruit can't be a car, Like, like,
(32:13):
there's no way the avocado is that that's such a
fatty fruit. Well, it's technically a fruit, but every fruit
is not a car. But the same way that, like
every fruit is not sweet, like technically cucumbers are a fruit.
But yeah, but yeah, what kind of lunatic would put
that in a fruit salad? Did you ever hear that quote?
It's like, um, being intelligent is knowing that a tomato
(32:36):
has a fruit, but common sense is knowing not to
put it in a fruit salad. I did see that, yeah,
and I think that it did sum up what intelligent was.
I heard in high school and I was like, damn you,
I'll readly be out here just thinking about I want
to ask you a question about a coma. Okay, all right,
(32:59):
all right about toppings sides. I can tell you I
dated a man, dated a man. The wine the white
pose me while I have need to marry them two
different things. I saw this grown man order burger plane, yeah,
just catch up in cheese, and I was like, I
(33:22):
gotta get out of this. Really, I gotta get out
of this because he eats like a child. Just catch
up in cheese, though, like what is it because he
didn't get pickles. I just it just was the vibes,
and it was just like Also, he was like, I
want to go somewhere completely different, and he was stressed
because I don't want any burger in Hawaii. I want
to eat something else, anything else I want to try,
(33:44):
maybe Hawaiian food, right, a roast, just anything anything, you know,
a spam, much shoobi and neat tarot something. Don't laugh
while you do it. So it wasn't a laugh. It
was pure right, give me some things some and so
(34:13):
I just want and I just he keeps stressing me
about this basalt burgers, but salt burgers, but salt burger.
I take a bite of said burger. He's expecting my
eyes to he expected you remember that scene in Pulp
ficture where they opened the suitcase and the light comes out,
or in Atlanta when he opens his JR. Cricket's box
(34:35):
in the light from the limon, Pepper Waine sits him.
That's what he thought was going to happen. M I
took a bite on and fucking impressed. And I knew
I was gonna be because when he said, when I
saw him hold it, I was like, this, this isn't what.
It's not doing what you think it's doing. It's not
getting what it's supposed to give. It wasn't govin what
(34:56):
it's supposed to go. Okay, that's that. That is where
it comes to taste and where it's hard, where even
when I recommend places like I did it, I did
it even before we started recording. I recommend it to
everyone that works on this podcast, some burghers that I
hope they even like, because now if they don't like them,
(35:17):
they'll be like, well, Josh's mouth has gone haywire because
he loves these and this is not good. You know
what I mean? So I love said. I said to
my mother one day, she said she doesn't like Pomegrant.
That sold you, right, okay? And I told her her
mouth is broken. Mm hmm. And then she proceeded to
tell me that my tongue is flat, and I can
(35:38):
truly tell you, I don't know what that means. Yeah,
I don't know if that means the same thing is
what you just said or I said, your mouth is broken.
She said your tongue is flat, and I was like, again,
oh yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't You've lost me. Yeah,
I love my mama. But also when I heard it,
it was I must defend myself. And this is this
(36:01):
is where I think. This is where I think the
burger starts to edge its way out past the chicken sandwich.
Is with the toppings, with with the way, then what
is the topping? Okay? Sorry, no, no, you what is
(36:21):
a topic that you can put on a burger? M
that you cannot? Oh? This is why I say edge
out though, because there is no can't. I'm just saying
when I put if there's ketchup and mustard on a burger,
I'm I'm enjoying myself, right, I don't necessarily want or
(36:44):
knee catchup and mustard on my chicken sandwich. Catchup and
mustards don't go on chicken but but do you see
what I mean? How Like in those situations, I start
to feel like the burger is edging it out for me,
because it's like, if I want to enjoy the tanginess
of some mustard, I can get that on my burger,
whereas a chicken sandwich doesn't know. I don't need that,
(37:04):
I don't want that. No, you can, I depends on
the now. I okay, this is the thing I me,
M don't necessarily enjoy catch up. Okay, the only time
I eat catch up? Almost almost said eat. So I
don't know why. Only time I eat to catch up.
One time you catch up is on the hot dog.
(37:28):
Yes you mentioned that before. Yeah, the only time you
catch up on a hot dog or a McDonald's cheese
burger because that's how they do there. Yeah. Right, So
there's not a lot of situations where I even eat
catch up. Hm. You can put lettuce and tomato on
(37:50):
a chip. My. One of my favorite things is a
fried Chicken club or deluxe fried chicken sandwich where you
get your lettuce, tomato, your onions, your cheese, maybe sometimes
even some bacon. You know, I'm with you. I I
just feel like in a burger you know, there are
things like, for instance, this is another one where this
(38:11):
is where it starts. To get outland Iss, you gotta
go to your cheat burger cheeburgers for this. You gotta
go to some of your other like dying in restaurants
to to get this. But have I been You've been
to a cheatburger cheatburger? Oh? Yeah, where are those at?
There's some in the South. There's not that many. I
don't know if there's that many to begin with, but
I had one in my college town in Schreeveport, Louisiana,
(38:36):
and then there was one in an airport in It
definitely wasn't Jackson, but I was in an airport in
the South and there was a cheeburger. Cheeburger. Now I
will say my favorite fast food burger place is water Burger. Yeah.
It was very good, to the point that I was
in the Dallas airport and it was in the other terminal,
(39:00):
and this is one of the few times I had
gotten to the airport at a good time and I
walked the I think it was like round trip, like
thirty something, almost forty minutes gee to go get this
burger before I went back to l A. This is
my thing those places right that that have either the
(39:21):
good burger or the special And I call it topping
usually a condiment to me, it's it's really just condiments
that are that are toppings. But to me, a topping
um like an onion ring, is something that you see
on some burgers sometimes offered and I've had it before
and I'm not gonna lie. The way they did it
(39:43):
was just right because it wasn't It wasn't chaos right.
It wasn't a hard onion ring that was going to
be crunching and fighting as you tried to eat your burger.
It was actually a really nice, flat onion ring that
was perfectly breaded and went right under the on onto
the patty and with every bite you got a little
(40:04):
bit of onion and that's how you got your onions
instead of diced. And I thought that was great. And
if I was eating a chicken sandwich, I would I
don't think i'd ever mix an onion ring with a
chicken sandwich on the sandwich. I can't tell you. The
time that I have to have a burger is when
it's a special time in your young girl's life. Oh
I can, I can see, Yeah, I've heard that before.
(40:25):
I don't know what it is. I don't know why
it is, but it has to happy. Look, I'll tell
you right now what there are certain chicken sandwiches that
do make me a bit weak. Tell me when when
(40:46):
there is hype around a chicken sandwich, what happens to me?
I don't well, not even just Popeyes. It'll be anybody
being like, hey, our new chicken sandwich. I act like
I haven't had chicken before. I'll get in a line.
You'll get in a line. I'll get in the line.
I won't get in the line first day. I'm not
gonna get in the longest line, but I'll wait in
(41:08):
the line to be like, let me go ahead and see,
just in case it's my new favorite chicken sandwich. It
never is. Have we talked about as a society, because
I don't think we've one. We truly have not processed
COVID yet. No, the fact that we've all been um
collectively traumatized. But have we talked about as a community
(41:33):
the pure on brawls. Yea, the Popeye chicken sandwich and
then when you finally got one, you were like, this
is just a sandwich. It's just a sandwich with the
same season, and that you nobody should there should have
been now person outside of the Popeye's yelling racial slurs.
(41:55):
These lines should not. What I don't understand is I
don't remember how it got to that point. Society has
been breaking down for quite a while. I'll tell you
right now that had it was, it was in twenty
we were from twenty six. We changed a people in
(42:16):
those three years. I feel like there's just been a
breakdown of just how we talk to each other, how
we look at each other, what we want. I think
I think we're talking about some lost people right now,
you know, and not just because they lined up. I'm
talking about the fights. I'm talking about the slurs I'm
talking about I'm talking about the level of hype that
you even let come around a chicken sandwich from a
(42:39):
place that already sells chicken, so you know what their
chicken sandwich is gonna taste like. Also, didn't they already
have I think they had had before, But I don't
think they basically just ran one of the best marketing
campaigns in the history of people, because it was really
like in business classes, I couldn't even understand how people
(43:02):
were so swept up in it because I didn't have
one for maybe three months until after it came out.
And that wasn't me trying to avoid It's just I
live in New York and there's a Popeye's near me,
and there was a line there one time, but then
they stopped selling it for a little while. And yeah,
it was crazy. I just couldn't. I just really could
(43:27):
not understand why people were like. I just could like,
it's Popeyes is good, mm hmm, but it's not fistfight
in a parking lot. I think, don't if they created scarcity,
I mean truly, ask yourself, if you've ever been into
(43:48):
anything worth losing a toothover? No, then I think I
think we have our answer. I think we're all there now.
So I'll say this. With the chicken salad, you can
get a you can get a wrap. You can get
it on a croissant, you can get on toast, you
can regular bread, you can get it on the blunt
because diversity in the bread. Then the way that you
(44:08):
cook it. It's fried, grilled, it's um a chicken salad sound.
You can get white meat, you can get dark meat.
There's a lot of versatility for the chicken sandy, right,
you can get it inter wrap. It's very good. I'll
just say for burgers, sometimes they're too sick. Sometimes the
tooth thin um, the issue of the there's a lot
(44:32):
of times. Right, because I've finally got I've got to
the point in the past ten years or stopped ordering
things medium. Well, I mean, well, John, because that's just
how we get it. Well, that's just how you grew up. Now.
I get things medium well, but sometimes you get things
medium what people think it's medium, and then you just
end up with the murder show on a bun Um.
(44:54):
So I can't handle seeing um bloody meat. M hmm.
This is that's just who I am. Um. So in
in in closing, Uh, friends, Americans, me your taste buds,
(45:15):
give it, tell you to ruin it. Uh. You wanted
me to you about the power and the the overall
supremacy of the burger. Okay, once again, to its temp
(45:39):
from its type, to its titilating on your taste buds
factors all right, the fat, the salt, the acid, all
of all things that come that come with cooking meat. Well,
(46:00):
it gets taken to another level with a burger. Now, yes,
you can have a turkey burger if you want. Why
did you do that? You can have veggie burger alright
inntritious option, But the burger reigned supreme. And with that
we kick it over to you, the listener. What are
you really feeling? What do you like to bite into?
Is it a nice juicy burger? Is it a scrumpted
chicken sandwich? You let us know, all right, because we
(46:22):
care and we want to know who you think is right?
All right? If you're looking up catch up with us
in other places. I have my own podcast, The Josh
Johnson Show. It comes out every Thursday wherever you get
your podcast. And if you're looking to catch up with duels,
say you catch me on this podcast. Wild huh. Hold
up y'all, y'all have a great day and a great weekend. Um,
(46:48):
we will catch you in the next one. Hey, everybody,
it's Josh here. I'm gonna be doing stand up on
the road as part of the Freshman Tour on March
tenth and eleven. I'm gonna be in Kansas City at
(47:09):
the Kansas City Improv. You get your tickets from their
website improv KC dot com or in the link that
we provide, and then after that, I'm gonna be in
Fort Collins March thirty one and April one. Okay, so
it's not a joke. I'm really gonna be there and
I'm gonna be doing a show for you. If you come,
you can get go to their website Comedy for Collins
(47:29):
dot com, or just check out the link that we provide.
Dul Say is also going to be on the road.
Dulsday is gonna be out here in this you read
at the Grand Rapids Comperty Club February and in the
mall with your uncle it it laughs, Seattle, March third
(47:50):
and fourth. I'm just out here trying to just have
older men take me to Rainbow. Hey, what are we
doing for your birthday? I don't know yet. Gonna be
in the mom with somebody's daddy. M
Friends, Americans, countrymen. Lend me your taste buds, give me
that Matt tell you welcome to Hold up everyone. I'm
(00:21):
one of your co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson.
I'm a river for the Daily Show. Okay, I'm joyed
by days long. Okay, I didn't know if you're really
gonna let that pause? Sit there? All right, you are
joined by Dulce, Lizaria Sloane. It is me, welcoming you,
(00:47):
Welcome to me. Hello's your ears? A little little little
little little little all right, well today, why are you
always looks not annoying? It's not my fat tom don't work. Look,
tongue works, all right. I'm using it right now to
form words, So it works. If my tongue didn't work,
(01:11):
it would just be but it's not. It's fully formed wards.
If you have a tongue. If you don't have a tongue,
you probably if your tongue didn't have any muscle to
it, it it would just be hanging and you'd be like,
tell you, yeah, you sound like Charlie Brown's daddy. We
all yo. If I get a message from somebody to
(01:36):
talk about they don't have a tongue, I am gonna
lat Yeah, they have a ton, but they have thumbs,
so they gonna let you die they feel have yeah,
bet thumbs extra fast. Today's episode is about in a way.
(01:59):
In a sense, it might end up that way if
you start you start start off just saying wild things,
then maybe it's gonna be about you and your opinions.
But right now, it's about chicken sandwiches versus burgers. Okay,
which which place do you land? Ask yourself? Truly? All right?
Do you like a nice juicy burger in between whatever?
(02:22):
Your favorite type of bread is, brioche, uh, sour dough,
if anything that you like as a sandwich. This is
the battle of the sandwiches. Right now, we got chicken
sandwiches coming in. Do you like them chopped like a barbecue?
Do you like them hold like some Chick fil a?
What do you what do you like? What? Is it
a file a situation? Do you just want to cram
(02:43):
a piece of breast meat in between the two buns,
sauce it up real good, and eat it up? Maybe
that's your whole vibe. No sandwich is wrong in this scenario.
It's just about which one is better? Okay, So Josh
telling people. First of all, I'm gonna let everybody have
to get people time to guess, play the music, Josh,
(03:11):
telling people where you stand on this, because I don't
think that they I think this is gonna be like
the chocolate and vanilla situation. They're gonna think that they know,
but they don't. Let me tell you the prime and
the superior superior sounds racist. Go ahead, and that's just this.
(03:32):
A word can't be attached to the thing all the time.
Some things are just better. Come on, you just talking
about the supremacy, the sandwich supremacy, the full sandwich supremacy
of the burger. Alright, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all knew he
(03:55):
was gonna say that. What else would he say? Let
me let me tell you right now, Come on in
a burger, Come on in as sandwich as old as time.
Like Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, the beauty is
the bread, the beast is the meat. The beauty and
(04:17):
the beast of sandwiches. It's too good, and it's too classic,
and it's too versatile. Bobby best I heard in a while. Listen,
I have a question, m hm, do you only consist?
Would you partake in a burger that wasn't on a bunt.
(04:41):
Did you grow up eating burgers on bunts? It's a
part of my life I'd like to forget. Okay, so
like me, your mother didn't always buy bunts or we
we had the mismatch of on to meet ratio. That
(05:02):
only happens with hot dogs. No, no, no, because sometimes
you can buy uh, if you buy like packaged burgers,
like frozen package burgers, you might you might get twelve
in the in the box of frozen burgers, but then
in the actual bun package there's uh, there's eight, and
you do that. I remember comments talking about their hot
(05:23):
dog hot dog bun math just for the ways of
the numbers. To get even, you gotta buy forty of each. Yeah. Yeah,
that's where you meet up with it. Okay, that's why
people at barbecues don't have a problem, because they got
so many that it lined up. You know, I can't
say that. There were times where sorry, I'm sorry, No,
(05:47):
it's just funny. It reminded me of I remember in Chicago,
which of my friends as he was having a hot dog,
but he just had the regular sliced bread. I remember
saying to him. I was like, oh man, we really
are poor. Huh, because it's not like the hot dog
(06:09):
bud is that much more expensive, you know what I mean,
Like it's really still just bread. But the fact that
he was like, all right, dog, look all I really
got is these uh is these uh what is it called?
Was it bunny bread? He's like, all really, guys, buddy bread?
And I was like, ah, but here's the thing, though,
(06:30):
he's being the most cost effective. Yeah, what you have
to do when you are broke? Yes, I'm with you.
All I know is I got so accustomed yeah eating,
not that we didn't have the money, but a lot
of times it was just down to like, I'm not
(06:52):
a big bread person to start with. Oh I see, yeah,
I do like the hot dog. But though but really,
but what but a lot of time a hot dog buns,
I end up pulling a lot of the bread off.
WHA's want a hot dog? About one side? So I
was thicker than the other anyway, what when they cook
(07:17):
hot dog buns? The base of a hot dog butt
isn't the bottom the side of a hot dog, but
is actually the bottom bakes up, it fluffs up, but
then you're cutting it through the middle. But then isn't
that middle? Can't that middle be even sometimes because I
feel like it's it's not as it's not always super even.
(07:37):
What I'm saying is that a lot of times the
hot dog buns I end up pulling out of the
bread off anyway. But with hamburger buns sometimes it would
be too much bread. So because I'm not a bread
person to start with, So when my mom would make burgers,
she would do it with regular bread, and I loved
(07:59):
it because she bought hotp because like when people buy burger, like,
she bought burger buns one time for like because you
on my birthday of July four so I've been at
every fucking barber on the planet. She bought buns one
time and they were for like there were people that
were coming, and I was like, okay, but did you
get regular bread? And She's like, I got buns. I
(08:19):
was like, but did you hear regular bread? I got buns.
Just don't ask you. That's not that's not gonna help me.
I need the regular bread. We gotta do smush this
other bread to make this work. I don't want to
do this with you. So what I'm saying is I
prefer if I'm gonna have an amburgassa mm hmm, like
(08:45):
a restaurant. Obviously you're not getting a regular bread. But
like now that you can get a burger as a
rap because you know I love tortilla. So now that
you can get a burger as a rap. Game changer. Okay,
game changer. Let me tell you now. What I also
(09:07):
want you to tell me is how the the deeply
stunted I'll just say stunted because it's not its fault.
It can only be one thing, the chicken sandwich. Tell
me how that matches up in any way to the
versatility that burgers bring to the table. Before I address
(09:28):
this tech, what I will do is proved you proved
to me the versatility. Okay, I can do it real quick,
do a real quick um temperature. For one, you can
get a burger depending on where you are. You know,
not every place does it, but it is possible with
(09:50):
burgers to get something rare, medium, medium, well well done.
Temperature alone adds four times to whatever type of burger
you want to have. Okay, but that's just the nature
of beef's cooking chicken at different temperatures. No, we agree.
(10:12):
So are you just you can only enjoy your chicken
one way cooked? Yeah, but there's different levels of cook
to beef, which means there's different levels of cook to burger.
This point that you're making right now is so wild
it sounds like I said, Oh no, no, no, This
(10:33):
point that I'm making right now should be opening your mind.
All right, if you want, you can cook chicken at
any temperature you want, Will you make it out alive?
Hold the fun? But there's nothing stopping you from cooking
chicken at different temperatures. No, No, what's stopping you is
(10:53):
it won't be It will be nasty if you have
rare chicken. You know what I'm saying. Even the idea
right now is disgusting to me. Whereas, what do you mean,
how do we don't don't try to give me the
poison myself. I'm just saying, how do we know? Has
anyone tried? Yes, and they've all died of salmonella poisoning? Hey, baby,
(11:17):
my sickness or my fitness. But you're gonna get out
of here somewhere, Sam, How you cook something? Yeah? Because
I thought the wildest because like I thought, the wildest
thing was a steak being rare, there is a lower
temperature than rare. You know blue. Yeah, that's horrifying. Blue is.
(11:40):
I don't even play with blue at all. I don't
even entertain the idea. Like if somebody gets a blue
steak in front of me, I'm like, I thank you
so much for telling me you were a killer. For
those that don't know, when you order something blue, it's
it's literally just slightly slightly touched on both sides by
a hot pan to kill any bacteria and then serve
(12:00):
to you like it makes called blue is because it's
still cold. Yeah, it's not even seared to the point
of sealing it. And like it's not even like a
rare one like rare is you know the it can
potentially be cold in the middle. We're talking about a
straight up steak that they were just like we flipped
it on the pan twice to get rid of any
(12:22):
liability on our side. But if you want to eat
it like this, go ahead, have at it. But what's
the difference between that and a beef tartar? Because beef
tartar is completely a cook beef. Not only have I
never entertained the idea of a beef tartar. I refuse
to look at a menu or a plate with a
(12:44):
beef tartar on it because there are people in this
world I don't I don't understand them, and I don't
I I don't think I know anyone personally, but the
amount of people that I've seen have beef tartar with
an uncooked egg on top. Bro I was just going
(13:05):
to say, that is violence, all right, if you want
to know what you can do going into to be
a better person, not that stop doing that, whatever, what whatever,
lad you there seek the help you need. That is
(13:25):
such a whole horror rififying site to see, to see
a raw egg on top of some raw beef, and
then to just see somebody go to town. The first
time I saw it, I actually thought it was it
was fear Factor. I was watching a cooking channel, and
I thought, no, it had no known to be on
(13:46):
the cookie channel. You didn't cook anything. I must have
changed the channel to fear Factor. Joe Rogan is going
to pop up in any second, because this is a
challenge that should only be taking place on network TV
for the good of the money of the company. And
then when I found out it was a quote unquote dish.
(14:07):
I was furious. Now there are people that are gonna say, hey,
this is a dish of my culture, because I don't
think this is just why people eat this. I think
people of color in places do eat this. So we're
not shipping because again I don't want your as people
who consume American food, right mm hmm, raw beef will
(14:30):
make you sick. Yeah, because this is why I don't
understand about this dish. Remember they would tell us not
eat cake batter because there was a raw aggain it
and you might get salmonilla. I wow, I'm glad to
talked to you today because I made it through my
whole life without ever hearing that that's how you were
supposed to bet. Cake battery didn't stop me and anybody
I know. Fuck, no, I never know anybody gets sick. No, No,
(14:51):
I did not know that. You think I got sick
making a dunking Hinze chocolate because I put two eggs
in a third of a couple of oil in it.
Now I'm here to tell the Okay, I just for
one just thinking about this making me noxious? Um, isn't it?
It's like it makes right? Like what do you eat
(15:11):
that I'm first of all, we're putting wrong. We're putting
the sunny side up egg. You know why egg prices
went up because all of these restaurants are throwing sunny
side up eggs on a fucking hamburger. That's why the
prices are going up in these damn egs. That's how
we ran out. And then somebody were you the one
that told me the real reason. I don't think people like, oh,
it's aving fluid. Somebody was like, no, the subsidies are gone.
(15:33):
We were doing so there. Okay, there was South Camerain
who told me there were egg subsidies for poultry farmers,
and they ran out into the prices shot up because
the government subsidies on the way. Okay, I don't if
it's true. What I'm saying is we're doing a lot
with burgers. Right. The chicken sandwich, so one the chicken sandwich.
(15:56):
You get your options, you can. You know, some people
do a breast, some people do aside. I love the
chicken sandwich one of them. By yeah, I pre dark meat, Okay,
I will buy a pack of chicken thighs. If I'm
buying chicken, I'm buying chicken. Thighs. I'll buy chicken thighs,
(16:18):
ground chicken or leg quarters. That's my order. And so
this is thing. My chicken sandwich. You can have fried,
you can have a grilled, you can have chicken salad
sandwich on a croissant. That's always nice. So you're saying
the different temperatures that you can get of meat of beef, right,
(16:38):
there's different styles of cooking for a chicken sandwich, right,
So like you don't often I mean it's like a
Country five steak or like a million Like you don't
really see a lot of like breaded beef. Mhm, but
we bread chicken all damn day. Right, And my least
favorite chicken sandwich is a grilled chicken sandwich because my
(17:00):
least favorite way of having chicken is grilled chicken. Okay,
but because if you get grilled chicken, it's usually your
breast and the breast is the driver's part. If you
gave me a grilled chicken thigh sandwich, now, okay, So
I just want to make sure that we're clear. Do
(17:21):
you think that the chicken sandwich is more versatile than
the burger? Yes, And you're saying that's because of the
styles of cooking. So you're saying that you just gave
me temperature, trying to say it was versatile. That's it's
a totally different experience to right, And the difference of
having a chicken salad sandwich compared to a fried chicken
(17:44):
sandwich is definitely a different experience in your mouth. So
we're talking about the versatility. You're giving me temperature. So
we're both talking about cooking methods. It's still beef, it's
still chicken. One is rid, one's grilled, and one is cooked,
and then you know, you make a little salad out
(18:04):
of it. So we're talking about versatility. But I'm saying,
is there's more that's a burger is grilled, right, Burgers,
for the most part, aren't getting deep fried, And no
one's because we do pulled pork sandwiches, but no one's
(18:25):
doing pulled beef because because the chicken. Because the chicken
salad sand which is basically killed a cook chicken present
you pulled apart. So basically chicken salad is pulled chicken, okay,
on a pork, And why pork is the only one
when we pulled though by name, But everyone else is
(18:45):
out here just getting stretched out. There's also something to
be said for the different grades and types of beef,
which I actually think range fall are there, then chicken,
because you can correct me if I'm wrong, But to
my knowledge, it's like there's dark meat and there's white meat.
(19:08):
There isn't chicken. That's like, oh, yes, this is um
um Korean chicken specifically, right, so wagoo beef and stuff
like that exactly. But again that goes to the nature
of the meat that you're cooking, because you know how
you can make sevici where you're using like lemon juice.
Literally it's cooking the fish or lemon. And I thought
(19:31):
I was sevi was a condrop honestly, because I remember
my Uncle Joel making conk salad and he's squeezing like
a tomato and like lemon and lime juice and coming
up stuff. And I was like, age, just something me got,
said Uncle Joel, it's not cook He said, no, the
lemon juice cooks the meat. And I said, no, Uncle Joe,
heat cooked meat. Mm hmm. So for me, by little
(19:51):
nine year old brain was like, Negro, you're not gonna
tell me that fruit cook shrimp. It's not gonna happen
sitting in a made meat made a shrimp pink nah,
And it wasn't utime I saw somebody make it where
I was like, okay, I mean, sure, you know that's
how If that's how you live your life, that's God
(20:12):
you served. I hear you. But this ship is still
a wild So the fact you can't use lemon juice
to cook beef, you can't lose lemon juice to cook
chicken because it's just the nature of the meat. So
there are there's different types of chickens, but I think
(20:35):
when it comes to the store, it's just here's chicken
like you have. Like the first time I saw a
black chicken at the Ranch ninety nine market in l
A Like black skinned chicken. Okay, have you ever seen
this these African American chickens. I have not. It is
I mean, you're calling black chicken. But the skin's like
purple almost. And the lady, uh, very nice, um Asian
(20:59):
Marria woman, and she had in her cart and it
was like me and my friends were like, oh, she's
like oh yeah. She said it's good, you know, to
make soups. You know, it's good for women's health. And
I was like right right, right, right right, Coco Coca cool,
But KFC, ain't never gonna be frying up Church's chicken
is never gonna be frying up some purple skin chicken
(21:21):
is Everybody, we go, the fuck is this? Because Americans
would believe that they just I would think the skin
was artificially colored because I've only seen chickens one way.
We are talking about the nature of the meat, because
if even if there are different breeds of chicken, no
(21:44):
one's telling us that because you got your Angers beef,
you got your Wago beef, and then you've got your
regular beefe. But the only reason we know that there's
different types of beef is because people have decided that
there's higher price points on these other cut on these
other o the grades. Yeah, species, but it's also like
there's grades and then there's species. Oh yeah, like an
(22:05):
Anger's cow is a different kind of cow than like
a dairy cow mm hmm. And then was it Kobe, Yeah,
there's Kobe, there's Wago angus. These are just differently bread.
It's like breeds of dog. It's also ranged, though it's
also ranged. I'm not saying there's not ranged, but it's
like it's just that we have to acknowledge it's just
(22:27):
the nature of that animal, like we make you don't
be like age beef, which have always been confused about
what do you mean, Like this beef has been aged
for ninety days and so this meat has just been out. Yeah,
but they have to um there's I can't remember what
(22:48):
it's called, but there's something delicate about the process where
they do have to like let it air out. That's
why they have those smoke houses, why they have some
of those um well, smoke meats is like different because
it's like there's certain processes you do with certain animals,
Like you know, we make sausage from pork. Now we're
doing chicken sausage. Uh, you know, we get bacon from pork,
(23:12):
and apparently now we're doing turkey sausages. We all know
turkey sausages a scam and that's why we got to bacon.
Is the real scam? Said, turkey bacon is a scam. Yeah,
that's what I was saying. Let me let me tell
you say this about burgers for a second as well.
Is that I acknowledge that there is in both good
and bad ways, arrange with burgers I've had truly, fundamentally,
(23:37):
unequivocally disgusting burgers. Okay. I've had burgers that I'm like,
I'm like, y'all, y'all shouldn't be allowed to put bread
next to me at all, not even in the freezer. Okay.
And then I've had burgers that made my day. Sometimes
it was the pick me up I needed. It lifted
my soul, all right, it was the soul food that
(24:00):
I needed. I've had burgers that when I bit into
it was so crisp and all the right places, was
so perfectly buttered on the bun was so like absolutely
crunchy at the tip of the meat where it's pressed
against the grill that it made me want to pray
say my grace again. Okay, all right. And I also
(24:25):
had chicken sandwiches, and in my experience, chicken sandwiches have
less of a range, both in versatility and in like
just the general vibe of I mean, to your point, yeah,
breast meat chicken sandwich is gonna be mostly the same
thing outside of the seasoning. I had a chicken thighed
(24:46):
chicken sandwich for the first time. I was like, why
is everybody not doing this? I would put the best
chicken sandwich that I've ever had up against the best
burger they've ever had, and I think I would confidently
serve both of them, two people, and let them decide
(25:10):
which one they enjoyed more. And I think they come
back and tell me that the burger was true, true fire.
Wouldn't that depend on where you got the burger from?
What do you mean in like a blind test? What
I'm saying is that we've all have good burgers, We've
all had bad burgers. We've got good chicken Sammies, We've
(25:31):
had bad chicken Sammy's. I'm just saying that I feel
like sometimes we give burgers more credit than they deserve.
That's just what I just what I think. No, I'm
(25:51):
with you, I'm with you. Look, you're allowed to your opinion.
I just think that when it comes to juiciness and
when it comes to grip, because let's let's that's been
a quick second talking about the grip of a sandwich,
all right, when you're holding on to that thing, I
have the Sammy by the love handles, okay, side to side, Okay.
(26:16):
I think that for me, I've seen less slippage with
burgers than with chicken sandwiches because the chicken sandwich was
not necessarily made to go in the patty form even
a feele. First of all, I love how you say
like because I feel like the rest of us are
saying it wrong. I feel like all of us are
(26:41):
not giving it the respect that it deserves. Well, that's
very kind. I appreciate you appreciating it. Hey man, these
feeles get in. I love it. Um. Well, this is
the other thing about burgers, Okay that I don't think
you're because you brought up the temperatures of meat, but
(27:05):
you did not bring up the types of meat that
can't be burgers. Okay, I mean I thought I did,
but maybe I missed something. No, because you didn't talk
about the turkey burger. M you can talk about the
veggie burger. I mean I wanted to level the playing
field somewhat because now if I if I hit you
(27:25):
with veggie burger turkey burger, I don't think chicken has
a chance. Listen, First of all, we don't know turkey
burgers are trash everyone no one likes them. No one
likes them. Eat them because you have to, because your
doctor told you that you're gonna lose because you're in trouble. Yes,
veggie burgers are because vegetarians can't hold onto the fact
that they can't eat whatever they want any more. Because
(27:48):
about a black bean burger, This is the thing that's
still a veggie, because the thing is a black bean
burger still has rice and carrots and other ship in it.
You didn't make a whole patty out of black beads. Okay,
it's still I remember when the Boca Burger came out,
changing nigga's lives. Okay, these impossible burgers, we may get sued,
(28:10):
but I'm telling you, there's meeting that bitch, there's me.
We've all had an impossible burgers said, you won't lie
to me to day. You will not impossible. Yes, I
know you niggas put beat juice in here. So if
I cooked this rare, it's like bludder is coming out
this A lot of these like these veggie I remember
(28:31):
asking a nutrition like my nutrition is on my all nutritions.
I was like a question, can I have these veggie
sausage patties? And she was said, let me look them up.
I like thinking, I told her the company and she
looked him up. But she looked at all the ingredients
(28:52):
and she was like, I'd rather you eat pork. Wow.
I said, what she said, this is a chemistry test. Wow.
She said this is supposed to be heard. She said,
there's so many chemicals in this. She said, your body
can break down pork this. She's like, just eat the meat. Wow.
(29:13):
She said, don't need a bunch. I mean, like obviouslyn't
need the whole back. But like she said, two of these.
She said, yeah, you look at the calories and stuff
like that. She said, but there's she said, there's so
many chemicals in here, so many, so many chemicals, so
many addams, all this other stuff. She's like, just eat
regular sausage, wow, because your body can break it down.
(29:33):
And I was like, she's also the one that told
me that fruit was a car. Oh yeah, And I said,
excuse me, excuse me fruit, miss lady. It's fruit. He
said fruit is a car. And I said, you're telling
(29:56):
me that fruit and bread man at the same thing
in the body in the Bible there, like sometimes I
even know why I try, Like, dude, I've never know.
(30:20):
I was like my mom in a moment that when
I just said that back to you in the body
in the Bible. But maybe he's so happy. I need
to shout out Mary Anne Hill. You know, yeah, media
here in the body there are there are fruits that
(30:40):
process like carbs. No, it's all a card all fruits
because like what Iver started, because like my little trick,
she was telling me. It's like I can't have do
you know what? That's all this weight? I can't I
couldn't have tropical fruit. Also, you know what I couldn't
have it. I was surprise alt people grapes really whit
(31:04):
white white grapes, because he says, grapes have as much
candy as sugar as candy. Oh I can see that. Yeah,
especially you can pop them really easy, can pop them
like candies. Do you ever have potton candy grapes. I've
stayed away from them. I don't want to like a
new thing. Let me tell you something. Put them in,
(31:27):
he said. It was in the fridge for a good minute,
in the cold, cold, cold like col or, like pop
in the freezer. Don't let me get frozen froz because
the frozen grapes disgusting. But a crack too. But cod
candy grapes, cold cold, cold, you can sell a much
of car nibs all day. But also who the funk
asked for this? Asked for the grapple science. But the
(31:53):
thing about the grapple is that grapples don't smell like grapes.
They smell like purple grape flavor. Grape flavor don't taste
like grapes. Grape flavor is what purple tastes like. I
feel like every fruit can't be a car, Like, like,
(32:13):
there's no way the avocado is that that's such a
fatty fruit. Well, it's technically a fruit, but every fruit
is not a car. But the same way that, like
every fruit is not sweet, like technically cucumbers are a fruit.
But yeah, but yeah, what kind of lunatic would put
that in a fruit salad? Did you ever hear that quote?
It's like, um, being intelligent is knowing that a tomato
(32:36):
has a fruit, but common sense is knowing not to
put it in a fruit salad. I did see that, yeah,
and I think that it did sum up what intelligent was.
I heard in high school and I was like, damn you,
I'll readly be out here just thinking about I want
to ask you a question about a coma. Okay, all right,
(32:59):
all right about toppings sides. I can tell you I
dated a man, dated a man. The wine the white
pose me while I have need to marry them two
different things. I saw this grown man order burger plane, yeah,
just catch up in cheese, and I was like, I
(33:22):
gotta get out of this. Really, I gotta get out
of this because he eats like a child. Just catch
up in cheese, though, like what is it because he
didn't get pickles. I just it just was the vibes,
and it was just like Also, he was like, I
want to go somewhere completely different, and he was stressed
because I don't want any burger in Hawaii. I want
to eat something else, anything else I want to try,
(33:44):
maybe Hawaiian food, right, a roast, just anything anything, you know,
a spam, much shoobi and neat tarot something. Don't laugh
while you do it. So it wasn't a laugh. It
was pure right, give me some things some and so
(34:13):
I just want and I just he keeps stressing me
about this basalt burgers, but salt burgers, but salt burger.
I take a bite of said burger. He's expecting my
eyes to he expected you remember that scene in Pulp
ficture where they opened the suitcase and the light comes out,
or in Atlanta when he opens his JR. Cricket's box
(34:35):
in the light from the limon, Pepper Waine sits him.
That's what he thought was going to happen. M I
took a bite on and fucking impressed. And I knew
I was gonna be because when he said, when I
saw him hold it, I was like, this, this isn't what.
It's not doing what you think it's doing. It's not
getting what it's supposed to give. It wasn't govin what
(34:56):
it's supposed to go. Okay, that's that. That is where
it comes to taste and where it's hard, where even
when I recommend places like I did it, I did
it even before we started recording. I recommend it to
everyone that works on this podcast, some burghers that I
hope they even like, because now if they don't like them,
(35:17):
they'll be like, well, Josh's mouth has gone haywire because
he loves these and this is not good. You know
what I mean? So I love said. I said to
my mother one day, she said she doesn't like Pomegrant.
That sold you, right, okay? And I told her her
mouth is broken. Mm hmm. And then she proceeded to
tell me that my tongue is flat, and I can
(35:38):
truly tell you, I don't know what that means. Yeah,
I don't know if that means the same thing is
what you just said or I said, your mouth is broken.
She said your tongue is flat, and I was like, again,
oh yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't You've lost me. Yeah,
I love my mama. But also when I heard it,
it was I must defend myself. And this is this
(36:01):
is where I think. This is where I think the
burger starts to edge its way out past the chicken sandwich.
Is with the toppings, with with the way, then what
is the topping? Okay? Sorry, no, no, you what is
(36:21):
a topic that you can put on a burger? M
that you cannot? Oh? This is why I say edge
out though, because there is no can't. I'm just saying
when I put if there's ketchup and mustard on a burger,
I'm I'm enjoying myself, right, I don't necessarily want or
(36:44):
knee catchup and mustard on my chicken sandwich. Catchup and
mustards don't go on chicken but but do you see
what I mean? How Like in those situations, I start
to feel like the burger is edging it out for me,
because it's like, if I want to enjoy the tanginess
of some mustard, I can get that on my burger,
whereas a chicken sandwich doesn't know. I don't need that,
(37:04):
I don't want that. No, you can, I depends on
the now. I okay, this is the thing I me,
M don't necessarily enjoy catch up. Okay, the only time
I eat catch up? Almost almost said eat. So I
don't know why. Only time I eat to catch up.
One time you catch up is on the hot dog.
(37:28):
Yes you mentioned that before. Yeah, the only time you
catch up on a hot dog or a McDonald's cheese
burger because that's how they do there. Yeah. Right, So
there's not a lot of situations where I even eat
catch up. Hm. You can put lettuce and tomato on
(37:50):
a chip. My. One of my favorite things is a
fried Chicken club or deluxe fried chicken sandwich where you
get your lettuce, tomato, your onions, your cheese, maybe sometimes
even some bacon. You know, I'm with you. I I
just feel like in a burger you know, there are
things like, for instance, this is another one where this
(38:11):
is where it starts. To get outland Iss, you gotta
go to your cheat burger cheeburgers for this. You gotta
go to some of your other like dying in restaurants
to to get this. But have I been You've been
to a cheatburger cheatburger? Oh? Yeah, where are those at?
There's some in the South. There's not that many. I
don't know if there's that many to begin with, but
I had one in my college town in Schreeveport, Louisiana,
(38:36):
and then there was one in an airport in It
definitely wasn't Jackson, but I was in an airport in
the South and there was a cheeburger. Cheeburger. Now I
will say my favorite fast food burger place is water Burger. Yeah.
It was very good, to the point that I was
in the Dallas airport and it was in the other terminal,
(39:00):
and this is one of the few times I had
gotten to the airport at a good time and I
walked the I think it was like round trip, like
thirty something, almost forty minutes gee to go get this
burger before I went back to l A. This is
my thing those places right that that have either the
(39:21):
good burger or the special And I call it topping
usually a condiment to me, it's it's really just condiments
that are that are toppings. But to me, a topping
um like an onion ring, is something that you see
on some burgers sometimes offered and I've had it before
and I'm not gonna lie. The way they did it
(39:43):
was just right because it wasn't It wasn't chaos right.
It wasn't a hard onion ring that was going to
be crunching and fighting as you tried to eat your burger.
It was actually a really nice, flat onion ring that
was perfectly breaded and went right under the on onto
the patty and with every bite you got a little
(40:04):
bit of onion and that's how you got your onions
instead of diced. And I thought that was great. And
if I was eating a chicken sandwich, I would I
don't think i'd ever mix an onion ring with a
chicken sandwich on the sandwich. I can't tell you. The
time that I have to have a burger is when
it's a special time in your young girl's life. Oh
I can, I can see, Yeah, I've heard that before.
(40:25):
I don't know what it is. I don't know why
it is, but it has to happy. Look, I'll tell
you right now what there are certain chicken sandwiches that
do make me a bit weak. Tell me when when
(40:46):
there is hype around a chicken sandwich, what happens to me?
I don't well, not even just Popeyes. It'll be anybody
being like, hey, our new chicken sandwich. I act like
I haven't had chicken before. I'll get in a line.
You'll get in a line. I'll get in the line.
I won't get in the line first day. I'm not
gonna get in the longest line, but I'll wait in
(41:08):
the line to be like, let me go ahead and see,
just in case it's my new favorite chicken sandwich. It
never is. Have we talked about as a society, because
I don't think we've one. We truly have not processed
COVID yet. No, the fact that we've all been um
collectively traumatized. But have we talked about as a community
(41:33):
the pure on brawls. Yea, the Popeye chicken sandwich and
then when you finally got one, you were like, this
is just a sandwich. It's just a sandwich with the
same season, and that you nobody should there should have
been now person outside of the Popeye's yelling racial slurs.
(41:55):
These lines should not. What I don't understand is I
don't remember how it got to that point. Society has
been breaking down for quite a while. I'll tell you
right now that had it was, it was in twenty
we were from twenty six. We changed a people in
(42:16):
those three years. I feel like there's just been a
breakdown of just how we talk to each other, how
we look at each other, what we want. I think
I think we're talking about some lost people right now,
you know, and not just because they lined up. I'm
talking about the fights. I'm talking about the slurs I'm
talking about I'm talking about the level of hype that
you even let come around a chicken sandwich from a
(42:39):
place that already sells chicken, so you know what their
chicken sandwich is gonna taste like. Also, didn't they already
have I think they had had before, But I don't
think they basically just ran one of the best marketing
campaigns in the history of people, because it was really
like in business classes, I couldn't even understand how people
(43:02):
were so swept up in it because I didn't have
one for maybe three months until after it came out.
And that wasn't me trying to avoid It's just I
live in New York and there's a Popeye's near me,
and there was a line there one time, but then
they stopped selling it for a little while. And yeah,
it was crazy. I just couldn't. I just really could
(43:27):
not understand why people were like. I just could like,
it's Popeyes is good, mm hmm, but it's not fistfight
in a parking lot. I think, don't if they created scarcity,
I mean truly, ask yourself, if you've ever been into
(43:48):
anything worth losing a toothover? No, then I think I
think we have our answer. I think we're all there now.
So I'll say this. With the chicken salad, you can
get a you can get a wrap. You can get
it on a croissant, you can get on toast, you
can regular bread, you can get it on the blunt
because diversity in the bread. Then the way that you
(44:08):
cook it. It's fried, grilled, it's um a chicken salad sound.
You can get white meat, you can get dark meat.
There's a lot of versatility for the chicken sandy, right,
you can get it inter wrap. It's very good. I'll
just say for burgers, sometimes they're too sick. Sometimes the
tooth thin um, the issue of the there's a lot
(44:32):
of times. Right, because I've finally got I've got to
the point in the past ten years or stopped ordering
things medium. Well, I mean, well, John, because that's just
how we get it. Well, that's just how you grew up. Now.
I get things medium well, but sometimes you get things
medium what people think it's medium, and then you just
end up with the murder show on a bun Um.
(44:54):
So I can't handle seeing um bloody meat. M hmm.
This is that's just who I am. Um. So in
in in closing, Uh, friends, Americans, me your taste buds,
(45:15):
give it, tell you to ruin it. Uh. You wanted
me to you about the power and the the overall
supremacy of the burger. Okay, once again, to its temp
(45:39):
from its type, to its titilating on your taste buds
factors all right, the fat, the salt, the acid, all
of all things that come that come with cooking meat. Well,
(46:00):
it gets taken to another level with a burger. Now, yes,
you can have a turkey burger if you want. Why
did you do that? You can have veggie burger alright
inntritious option, But the burger reigned supreme. And with that
we kick it over to you, the listener. What are
you really feeling? What do you like to bite into?
Is it a nice juicy burger? Is it a scrumpted
chicken sandwich? You let us know, all right, because we
(46:22):
care and we want to know who you think is right?
All right? If you're looking up catch up with us
in other places. I have my own podcast, The Josh
Johnson Show. It comes out every Thursday wherever you get
your podcast. And if you're looking to catch up with duels,
say you catch me on this podcast. Wild huh. Hold
up y'all, y'all have a great day and a great weekend. Um,
(46:48):
we will catch you in the next one. Hey, everybody,
it's Josh here. I'm gonna be doing stand up on
the road as part of the Freshman Tour on March
tenth and eleven. I'm gonna be in Kansas City at
(47:09):
the Kansas City Improv. You get your tickets from their
website improv KC dot com or in the link that
we provide, and then after that, I'm gonna be in
Fort Collins March thirty one and April one. Okay, so
it's not a joke. I'm really gonna be there and
I'm gonna be doing a show for you. If you come,
you can get go to their website Comedy for Collins
(47:29):
dot com, or just check out the link that we provide.
Dul Say is also going to be on the road.
Dulsday is gonna be out here in this you read
at the Grand Rapids Comperty Club February and in the
mall with your uncle it it laughs, Seattle, March third
(47:50):
and fourth. I'm just out here trying to just have
older men take me to Rainbow. Hey, what are we
doing for your birthday? I don't know yet. Gonna be
in the mom with somebody's daddy. M
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