March 16, 2023 • 37 mins
“When there’s lightning, I can swim in my pool. When it's a rainy day, I can swim in my pool. When it's just nasty outside, I can swim in my pool. My pool indoors is consistent.”- Josh Johnson
“For me, the outdoor pool has represented a lifestyle. Because a pool day is a sunny day. We are drinking a nice beverage, we’re out here just judging others, really taking in the scene.” - Dulcé Sloan
It’s an “aquatic argument” of indoor vs. outdoor pools, this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.
#DailyShow #HoldUp #Podcast
Click here for Dulcé’s tour dates: https://www.dulcesloan.com/tour
Click here for Josh’s tour dates: https://www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So step your game up, living indoor pool lifestyle, feed
clothes and pull your family. That's amazing. Okay, feed cloth
and pull your family. Honestly, I can get behind that. Hey, everybody,
(00:22):
welcome to hold up. I am josh Johnson. I am
one of your co hosts. I'm a writer for the
Daily Show, and I am joined by Josey's love cut
cut cut cut, No hat, No, I'm not. I'm not
(00:45):
a hater. I was waiting for the rest because I
said your name, but then you did the noises. But
then you stopped talking. Oh yeah, they know I'm a
chorus probably in the Daily Show. I got to see
this every time. I don't know, I don't know who's listening. Joshua,
tell the people what is a topic for today? We
are gonna be talking about something that is, uh, it's
(01:09):
tough because some people. To some people, it's gonna seem
the same, all right, and we need you to know
it's not. It's not the same at all. Okay, Today's
topic is indoor pool versus outdoor pool. And you know,
as originally a Florida Negro, you know exactly what side
(01:31):
I'm gonna pick. But we're gonna give the people like
hinta che a momento to think about it? Play the music. Now,
what side do you think me and josh pick? Because
(01:52):
you picked your side. And I'm gonna tell you, Joshua,
tell the people lie hid tight? What in? You are?
Always misguided? Always misc wow, always inaccurate, incorrect points of view?
What did you pick? I chose indoor pool? Incorrect? We're going, okay,
(02:19):
you want to talk about incorrect? Okay, I'm telling you
right now because the thing that you are picking with
outdoor pool, you're imagining a specific type of pool that
I don't have to deal with being inside. Okay, And
I'm talking about that above ground outdoor pool. All right.
That's that's up. That's up with your pools. Okay. All
(02:41):
of my pools go deep, all right. All of my
pools inside are lavish decades. So you're saying that there's
no indoor above grand pools. I have not seen one.
That don't mean don't exist. Yeah, but where have you
seen one? You've never seen? Jesus, But you believe even
in I'm saying, where have you seen the pools that
(03:04):
we're talking about outside? I would never seen an above
ground indoor pool I'm starting to think that maybe there
aren't any all right, if I haven't say what you
haven't seen, there has to be somewhere, Yes, but we're
talking about one maybe, versus thousands of above ground right
sitting on the top of the lad ray to bust
(03:27):
like bad boys two above ground pools is indoor above
ground pool just a hot tub. I feel like even
the hot tubs are a little bit more sunken indoors.
There've never I've never climbed up to get to a
hot tub. All indoor therapy pools are above are sit
(03:47):
up above ground. Oh so even when my pools are
above ground, they're therapeutic. Thank you, Thank you for helping
me at my point outdoors, out there with the elements. No, no,
thank you. Your chip too much dip on my chip? Okay, wow,
(04:08):
pretty rich coming from you. It might always misguided we
had barely started the episode. It might always misguided you,
because here's the thing. When you are in an indoor
pool situation, Okay, when you're protected from the elements. Now,
I could actually go swimming when it's raining. I go
(04:29):
swimming when it's lightning. Okay, I don't have to worry
about what the rest of the world is doing when
I go swim. Okay, I'm just gonna see. Okay, it's
five grand Are you talking about kittie pool? Is that
what you're sending me? No, okay, because the kittie pool
could be indoors or outdoors. That's a stalemate. No, no,
(04:52):
this this is still outside. Don't do that. That's an
outside trying to be inside outdoor pool. Now, help me out.
Tell me what you think it's so special about outdoor pools?
What puts them over the edge of indoor? Because I
got air conditioning, I got safety. Me and my brother
(05:12):
and my mama. My family used to live on North
Miami Beach. Okay, we lived in a hotel on Nor
Frami Beach, and every day I would either go swimming
in the pool or swimming in the ocean, right like
my brother and my brother had a German tours tap.
My brother had to swim for me. A pool is nostalgia.
(05:37):
You know. When I was little, we would go to
my Auntie Joy's house for my birthday every year, and
they had a pool at their house because and then
you know my Ntfefe her parents had a pool. So
like I grew up going to black people's houses with pools,
okay uh. And then we went to camp and so
we would go swimming. And because I can swim enough
(05:57):
to keep myself alive. I'm not out here going to
the Olympics or nothing like that. But you know, water
won't kill me. Land probably will, but water, I'm good.
I'm buying a shit for me, the outdoor pool. Also,
it's like me, I'd appreciate this. So when I moved
to LA at twenty sixteen, I met Madison Shepherd and
(06:19):
Danielle Perez, so like one of my best friends now.
And we started this group on Facebook called you Can't
Swim with Us and we would throw pool parties. But
Daniel didn't have a pool at her house. Danyelle, his
mom had a pool, but Daniel didn't have a pool
(06:42):
at her house. Madison lives in an apartment with no pool.
So we would be at other people apartment complexes and
it was it was a private group on Facebook, and
these comics were really trying because we were private. We
were not letting everybody in because I listen, it's gonna
be plus sized bitches and two piece bas and suits,
and we don't need no stap at it okay, And
(07:02):
people were pressed to get in this group, Josh pressed
and sometimes like somebody who's like, oh, this person wants
to get in, I'm like, I don't really like them,
so like they had to have like at least two
thirds approval m to get into the group. Well, the
other wild thing about being in LA at that time
was that it would be like fucking three thirty and
(07:25):
afterton on Wednesday, and they're like twelve people here to
go swimming, and I'm like, why are none of y'all
are at work? Yeah, I'm a full time comic. Okay,
you're not m and you always bitch about being broke.
Go okay, Like LA is the only I've never had
lived and we're like LA where nobody was at work.
(07:47):
So for me, the pool has represented a lifestyle. Can
you swim when there's lightning? No? And I've had people
tell me they go swimming in the rain, which I
think is a complete stupid thing to do. But I
don't like about indoor pools is that the room that
they're in one always reeks of chlorine. It's just muggy
(08:11):
a lot of times. Also, you know when you're on
the road, a lot of the hotels like Michigan or
like Pennsylvania will always have indoor pools. Okay, I always
feel gross in an indoor pool. There's something about the
room is always wet, it's always kind of human in there.
It's always smelling a chlorine, a little muggy. So it's
(08:31):
like when you're in an outdoor situation, because like a
pool day is like a sunny day. We are drinking
and a nice a beverage, you know, just sitting just
out here, just judging others, really taking in the scene,
like stuck, excited, excited, excited. So like a pool day. Yeah,
(08:56):
a pool day is a day like I remember my
mom used to drop me and my brother off that
I don't think she was supposed to be doing this
at the public pool in a best friend park in
Norcross and she drop us off with some lunchee. So
I've always been like a swimming gold swimming kind of camp.
Like the dream of my life is to have a
house with a cement pond. Okay, all right, hey, yeah,
(09:20):
yeah I think that that. I think that's dope. I
want that for you. I will just say indoor pool
pool day is every day you keep listing the best
conditions for an hour. But see, that's the thing. It's like,
it's the best conditions because you're not in a muggy room.
You're not in you don't come out stinking of chlorine.
(09:43):
Your eyes aren't burning, you know what I mean. It's
like the room that an indoor pool is in is
never a nice It never feels good. It never feels
good to you. Wa No, the water and indoor pool
feels nasty. The it's always the wrong hot, it's the
(10:03):
wrong kind of hot. Okay, it never feels good. It
never feels good to me because it's like humid but chlorine. Human,
it's muggy. It's this pool heated as this room heated.
What's going on? Yeah, and then it's like your eyes
start burning because it's just a mist of chlorine. I
(10:26):
just I've allergic to chlorine. Absolutely not, Okay, it's just
there's a lot about the chlorine, and I feel like
that's never hit me the same because indoor pools, I
think are over chlorinated because I've never had this. Yeah,
I can see that because they don't have the sun.
(10:49):
M you know, to really just burn things off, truly,
you have to adapt for the fact that this pool
is on a arrest of light. To me, I guess
an outdoor pool is redundant because if you have an
outdoor pool and you have the ocean, just go for
(11:12):
the ocean. Some people don't like the ocean. I understand
some people. I'm very afraid of the ocean. Also, it's
like there's nothing swimming the nothing that swims in a pool,
as people kind of there's no fish in a swimming pool,
not on purpose. Shut up, Josh. Chlorine will kill a fish. Shop.
(11:34):
That's why pools are chlorinated. Nose fishes jumping out of
the sea, Elmar, I'm sure there's one, all right. I'm
not playing this game. I will not live for these
shenanigans on this day. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying
(11:58):
is that is also, if you're don't landlocked area, you
have to have a pool. If the closest ocean is
more than two hours away, you're not going there on
a regular basis. If you want to get a quatic
in this bitch, you have to have a pool. Now,
when you talk about the history of swimming pools, it
is very fucked up. You know the fact that we
(12:19):
weren't just swimming them. You know, people having pools at
their houses because public pools got closed because they didn't
want us in there, you know. But now we get
to swim, don't we mostly? I think, yeah, But I
think that indoor you can bring you if you have
(12:40):
an indoor pool, you know what it speaks to me personally?
You somebody's house or an establishment. Oh I'm talking about both.
But the one at the house is gonna be hard
to be okay, because an outdoor pool at your house,
all right, you might still have to give that one
to nature every once in a while. But an indoor
pool in your house, I'm bringing the snacks. Okay. You
(13:04):
wouldn't bring snacks to outdoor pool? Not always, No, especially
if it's above ground. Have you ever heard of the
redneck trifector? I have heard of it, but remind me
what it actually is above ground pool? Okay, trampoline, pontoon boat,
three of the most fun things you could hope for
(13:24):
on a Saturday afternoon. Do you know anyone who lives
in Florida? Mhmm. Yeah, we've been to the home of
someone with a pool in Florida, I believe. So. Yeah, Now,
did you see that the pool is outside, but is
encased by a screen, like a giant screen as big
(13:47):
as they Basically it's as big as the house. I
don't know if I've seen that. So basically you're like
indoors and outdoors at the same time. Don't don't tell
me that on that. Hold on, let me send it
to you. Oh no, this is this is nice. I
thought you meant when you said a screen. I thought
(14:08):
you meant the you know, like the screen door material.
That meant that made out of the door, it is
made out of that. I thought that you meant the
walls were made out of it, and the ceiling was
made out of it. It doesn't look like there's got
you've got support beams. Yeah, there's some real wall. No,
what it is just the support beams to create the shape,
(14:31):
and then in between that is pure screen. The thing
is if you have a hybrid situation where you essentially
built onto your pool from outside to make it kind
of inside. I don't know where that lands. I don't
know if that becomes inside or it stays outside. Well,
the pool and a screen enclosure. But what it does,
(14:53):
it's like you can enjoy being outside without like the
mosquitos and the bugs and all that. Yeah. Also you
can have food out there, so there's no flies, there's
no Yes, it's gonna it's gonna come down somewhat on
the flies, somewhat on the mosquito. If you're outside, they're
(15:13):
fighting their way in, okay, And I think with an
indoor pool, you don't have to worry about the flies.
You don't have to worry about them. You can get
in your house if you're going in and out of
a door, they can, but not at the right No,
just being outside outside, of course, it's just that's where
the bugs are. You can that they ship. M. But
(15:35):
you're in their neighborhood. You're in their neighborhood. That's why
I don't kill bugs outside because I'm in the ship.
You don't want if I'm out, I don't kill bugs.
I try not to kill a bug if i'm outside.
What is his face? I'm just from outside, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't want to kill a bug if I'm outside, like,
(15:56):
that's their ship. Now, if you're in my house, that's
a difference. M. You came in my ship. But I
try to help you. I'll try to put you outside.
But if you donkey. You die like flies. Though there's
a fly in my house, you die. I can say that.
(16:18):
I don't think you've given me any good reason to
have an indoor pool. The reason I've given you to
have an indoor pool is that you are not out there.
And I can list them if you need, but you're
not out there with the elements, all right, when it
light when it's lightning, When it is lightning, I can
swim in my pool when it's a rainy day. I
can swim my pool when it's just nasty outside, you know,
(16:39):
like sometimes it's just not fun outside, even though it's
not bad weather. I could swim in my pool. My
pool indoors is consistent. Also a pool indoors, if you
can afford it, if you're blessed like that. Everything it
is lavish, it is. It is a beautiful thing. I've
never seen. I'll just say this. I've never been in
someone's house to an indoor pool, and it was ugly.
(17:01):
All right, every indoor indoor pool. I'm not gonna say
all their names, but it's it's it's been two friends, yeah,
two where they was this the Louisiana or is the Chicago?
Third one was Chicago, and one was New York. Yo.
(17:23):
An indoor pool in New York. Yeah, at their house? Yeah, Yo,
you should marry it personally. Uh No, he's taken. Mary's parents,
get adopted, do something. Why don't you put in work?
Why don't you try? Yeah? Now, I'm with you, New
(17:44):
York with just the lack of an access, Tom. I mean,
as a child, I remember seeing on TV kid's playing
like a fire hydrant, and it was the saddest thing
I've ever seen. Look, i'll tell you right now for
for my listeners listening right now, who get me? Who
understand me? Who get where I'm coming from. There's two
(18:05):
angles right here that I want you to hear me
from truly. All right? One men, all right, men, I
want you to listen to me right now. Your family
deserves an indoor pool, all right. So then, as a man,
you gotta go out there. You gotta work, You gotta
do everything that you need to do to go ahead
(18:27):
and get an indoor pool for your family. You don't
want those kids out there struggling in an above ground pool. Daddy,
I can't get out. It's six feet tall, right, You
forgot to put the water in. I live here now right.
You don't want your children yelling at you like that.
You don't want your wife yelling at you. Hey, how
are you gonna get these kids out of this pool?
There's no water, all right? They broke their little feet
(18:49):
jumping in doing cannonballs to nothing. All right, Get an
indoor pool. Let them see the water down there before
they jump in. Don't make them jump off. Faith, But
look second angle right here, second angle. For the people listening,
I want you to have enough money in this world
to get an indoor pool, because you deserve it. After
(19:11):
only after you've put in that work, after you've grinded. Okay,
after that grinding, what's gonna come up? I felt it? Yeah, yeah,
because honestly, a lot of the no one gets an
indoor pool by chance. People put in below ground pools.
(19:35):
Nobody gets that by chance. All right. If your house
didn't already come when you got to work for exactly,
you gotta work, You gotta grind. Okay, duels, they already
know what I'm talking about. You gotta put in work.
You gotta go home. Look at your house and be
like house, Why are you being lame? Why are you
being lame? Okay? All right, don't rest your head until
(19:56):
you can rest your head underground in an indoor poo.
Don't rest on your laurels because you need to be
resting on the tile of a swimming pool. Go ahead
and rest on those floaties that you get from bringing
home all that money to build an indoor pool. You
already know, you already know. I can see what you're saying.
(20:18):
You can swim whatever you want. You can swim anytime
in an indoor pool. You can grind any time to
get it. Indoor poolool. It has to be heated because
if it's cold outside and it's a below ground pool,
your pool could be cold. So you have to get
(20:38):
a heated pool. And if you're gonna be really doing
it right, you gotta get a saltwater pool. That's just
a little extra grinded, all right, you don't even really
need to worry. Okay, that's just you already got the
indoor pool, buddy, that go ahead, just grind until you
get the full pool money. Yeah. Because yeah, Also, also
you want some lights. Okay, maybe you need some lights
(20:59):
of the pool with no lights, a pool with no lights,
a dark pool dark, you might as well be in
stranger things Oh my god, I saw somebody I don't
know on my TikTok. It was a pool. It was
cleaning TikTok. It was pool TikTok, British man that cleans pools.
I didn't know people have some pools England. Yeah, outside pools.
(21:20):
Oh wow, that is a surprise. Yeah, it's only I
don't know what even. We were there for the warmest
month of the year and it wasn't warm enough to
go swimming. Yeah. Yeah, And so he had a client
and they painted the bottom of the pool red. That's
so like it was disturbing. I don't even know what
(21:41):
to say. It was disturbing a red bottom pool. So
did it just look like you were swimming in blood?
It did. Apparently this person is not the only psychopath
to ever do this shit. That's that's deeply disturbed. I
can't even imadgin diving in now. What is your because
because I want to be fair, I brought up outdoor,
(22:03):
above ground pools, all this stuff, all the elements everything
I do want to be fair. What is your ideal
perfect pool? Oh? Well, my ideal perfect pool one is
actually near the beach. Okay, why is that? Because the
feeling you get when you get into the ocean is
not the feeling you get when you get into a pool. Okay.
(22:26):
And I don't like swimming in the ocean at night
because I don't want to go missing. So when you're
near the ocean but you're in a pool, you get
the ocean feeling without the ocean, without being in the ocean. Okay,
got you, got you? And so your ideal pool. Does
it have any extra features or there any other things
(22:48):
going on with your pool besides it being near the
ocean or was that just the first thing? That was
just the first thing? So first thing. Also, there needs
to be an area. It's like the pool that was
at the house we had in the Bahamas was great
because there was a basically as a bench that went
all the way like in the water, that went all
the way around the pool inside when you're in the pool,
(23:09):
but you can sit down because not everybody can fit
on the stairs, you know what I mean. So there's that.
I did also like the fact that pool was all
it was just a little bit deeper in the middle,
but for the most part it was all the same depth.
I don't even have a pool in my house is
eight feet deep. That's insane, A good six feet. Also,
(23:31):
I like those pools where the ones that's not the
one where you step in, but the ones that like
start like two or three inches of water and then
it just graually gets deeper. The pools on a full incline.
I like that because then you can really like almost
just lay down, h and still be in the pool.
(23:54):
Got you? So, so I want to get it right,
So help me list it right near the ocean has
the seated step all the way around, but has the
gradual steps to enter that that take a while. The
rise and run of those is smoother and longer. Yeah,
because if you're doing that, so when you have those
(24:16):
rising like is that what in there's a spot where
it just like becomes one level and then you can
sit and then there's the deeper part of it. Got you?
And it's only going six feet deep, but it's not
going eight feet not going way way beyond? Right? Okay, um,
all right? Is there anything else? This is my dream pool? Yeah,
(24:39):
So don't even think about the house, think about just
the pool. You can have whatever you want at the pool,
because because when I tell you mine, I just want
to make sure we're not talking about the house it's in.
It's specifically the pool. Oh, then I want there to
be a bar. Okay, I want there to be a
bar bar pool side a bar side are so uh?
(25:01):
My homeboy his pool and his apartment had these like
seats in them, like the concrete seats so you could
be sitting down, but like really like secured sitting down,
so you could like sleep if you wanted to. Because
I end up being in water and being asleep. It
is great, all right. Yeah, I think I think that
those are all respectable choices. Oh wait, I forgot something.
(25:24):
I forgot, Yeah, what's up. I would want the ability
to cover it if I needed to. Mmmmm, sounds like
someone's come around. No no, no, no, no, like in
the winter time, to keep up the leaves and stuff
out of it so you don't have to like shock
your pool and all those other stuff. Yeah. Yeah, to
(25:44):
be able to keep the stuff out. Also if it's
a particularly bad mosquito season, because like the covering, because
like the enclosures for pools to screen. Enclosures are cool,
but you still feel like you're inside. I liked sitting
in the open earth. But say it's a rainy day,
(26:06):
or there's a lot of you know, the buzz is out,
then you can throw a little covering up. You know.
I'm with you, but for the most part. But also
it's like, I think it's okay that there's a rainy
day and you can't go swimming. That's okay, hmm. You
know the whole winter time, Okay, you can't go swimming.
I got a balcony. I was on my balcony was
(26:29):
ten degrees outside or or or maybe you wouldn't have
to deny yourself if you would just go ahead and
hustle until you had this indoor pool money and us
indoor pool can go swimming all the time, NonStop, hot
or cold, outside, raining, lightning, thundering, swimming, all of it. Now,
(26:56):
can't you swim not? Well no, yeah, yeah, you can
do a little less than that. But yeah, yeah, So
you're telling me the water get too deep mm hmm,
then it is bye bye Josh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I go. I go pretty uh, pretty knee heavy, knee heavy. Yeah.
(27:19):
I'm like once it hits the knees, you know, I'm like,
ah that the rest of the water over there too
heavy for me. Oh okay, the knee is your threshold? Mmm,
knee is? Knee is you know, maybe stick my hands
in a little bit, lean in front of the knees
and let the water touch me. But oh no, no,
not not going not going deep deep my ideal pool.
That's why it's six feet because even though I'm not
(27:41):
six feet, I can still give a little jump, grab
some air, grab a little air with my mouth, and
then come back down, you know, snatch some some air
with my lips, and then come back down and swim
around and walk around and stuff. But every once in
a while, just instead of when you have a six
foot deep pool and you're at least average height, you
(28:01):
don't have to swim. You can just hop. You can
just hop every now again, just grab some water, come
back down. That's what the dolphins do, you know. So
I would just pop up, be like oo and then
come back down and look around or whatever you do
when you're at a pool where the kid like, the
ideas of opening your eyes in a pool was insane. Yeah,
(28:22):
I was like, guys, all go blind, right, and then
you did it, and you're just like, one, I can't
see shit, and two now my eyes are burning. Yeah
I could see just enough to get kicked in the
face like I could see. Yeah, you're always too close
with somebody. Yeah us. Did you ever your friends have
a baptize each other in a bool? Nah? Not really.
(28:43):
We used to play that game and baptize each other.
H what a fun little Southern thing to do. You
would all your friends just baptized in each other because
that makes sense? Yeah, um, no, I'm with you. I
guess this is my thing to me, the perfect pool
indoors six feetmax. It has It has a little bit
(29:07):
of a mimic to what you were saying, because it
does have a little place for you to sit if
you want to be in the pool but not actually swimming,
and heated with the lights, all right, So heated with
the lights so I can see myself in case I'm drowning.
I can see it, right, I can. Let me go
ahead and pop up real quick. You know. The thing
(29:28):
has to be weirriy about for the indoor pool is
the cleanliness of the pool. You always have to be
on top of that. But I feel like indoor pools.
He's never been an indoor pool like that's on, like
those pools like a YMCA place. I always feel like
there's a film on my body. Whenever I get out
of an indoor pool, Yeah, I don't know what I
(29:50):
can now. I'm always itchy whenever I get have an
indoor pool, like, yeah, ticket shot, I'm so itchy. I
don't know if they put more. I don't know what
it is, but I'm always like oh when I get
out of an indoor pool. So maybe I'm anti indoor
(30:12):
pool because of the experiences that I've had of how
just gross I have felt. Yeah, because like a hotel
or YMCA are the only time I really see indoor pools.
I'm with you. I guess my thing is okay, Okay.
When I've been at an outdoor pool, I have been
(30:32):
accosted with germs like just just the visible. You want
to talk about a film, Let's talk about p okay,
Because the amount of children who I've seen p in
a public pool, it's it's violence. There's not enough chlorine
in the pool. The whole thing should be a vat
(30:54):
of chlorine for all the p and you're letting people do.
I can tell you I was at a pool and
um or was that Austin, Texas Austin, Texas hotel pool?
The water was only like way was probably three feet deep,
and it wasn't a very big I'm talking about Josh,
(31:16):
this was I guess it was like a big dinner
to The pool wasn't big enough for how many people
were in it, and everybody was drinking, every single person,
probably fifty people in that pool. Yeah, it was probably
a pool that you have twenty people in it. Max.
It's a very Vegas thing to have happened. It's a
very Vegas thing. The water wasn't deep at all. Yeah. Yeah,
(31:39):
you're just getting those elbows wet, so you're like your
waist it's like a six foot man was waist deep.
Everybody's drinking. We were probably there for three or four hours.
I really didn't see people getting out of this pool,
and I saw people have multiple drinks. And once I
realized that another hour one, I was like, oh, everybody's
peeing in this pool because I pete in that pool.
(32:25):
And I was like, oh, this water looks different. Let
me get out of this pool. Because I don't thought
I was telling the truth on it was just like
my my still brain. I was like, I think this
water is like changing. Oh God, so we all are
(32:46):
churches were just in peak that yeah, yeah, coming back
to my room took the most magnificent shower m hm.
Because I was like, this is a bunch of us
all noticed it the same, Like nobody was getting out.
People were getting like drink, go after drink. And this
guy was like, so we're just standing each other's pete
and somebody went yes, that person definitely pet the one
that said yes. But uh, let's um, let's kick it
(33:09):
to the listeners. Yeah, I mean I want to hear
from all of you what would you rather, and also
tell us about your dream pool? Who do you think
was right? Um? And who do you think is Josh?
I mean, why you gotta like like I'm I'm trying
this whole episode. I've tried to help and have points
and all, and then you're gonna come at me at
(33:31):
the top end the back end. You said you like
at an indoor pool, and I can't. I can't. I
can't condone that. You can't condone. I gave you every
clear reason because why my pools are superior? I I
might here for your pool supremacy. Yeah, but you you
also don't really want to listen to to reason, you know.
(33:53):
I mean, like, hey, man, the little you know what
the little listeners tell us. Okay, let the listeners. Let
us know who is living the truth, who was telling
the truth about these pash who is letting the children
know how to live their lives. So listen, you tell us.
(34:14):
You go to the comments and YouTube. Now you tell
us how you feel. And I'm not gonna try to
bias you in this last few seconds of the show.
I would never do that. You make your own decisions.
Oh my gosh, what No, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no.
It's not the head scratch. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine,
it's fine. No, not the high acting and the head scratch.
(34:39):
You're talking to me like I'm a man. You earned both. Okay,
I am not a man. You can't head scratch. No,
I'm good, I'm fine. Listen until next time. Okay, keep
putting in work on yourself, keep grind and keep hustling,
(35:01):
all right, get to the top, Get to the top
of the top. And when you're at the top of
the top, when you're the top one percent of the
one percent, look yourself in the mirror and still say
it's not good enough. Okay, remember that, all right, And
for you men, out there. Remember what I said about family,
Remember what I said about pools. All right, so step
(35:23):
your game up, living indoor pool lifestyle, feed clothes and
pull your family. That's amazing. Okay, feed cloth and pull
your family. Honestly, I can get behind that. That's what
I want for you, and that's what I want for
the people in your life. And I was going to
(35:44):
say that there is someone messenges me Jill Burden seventy eight.
Then we need some duels, say merge that said get
your books up, because she is an inspiration to the
cheer drink. Okay, all right, Josh, how you inspiring children today?
I'm inspiring them with ways ways coming through my book
(36:07):
coming out this summer, grind grind ground. Okay, your bathard,
your bad. Thank you so much for listening. We love
(36:29):
you and we will catch you next week by LaBamba.
Hey everybody, I'm gonna be out on the road as
part of the Freshman Tour doing stand up. You can
catch me in Oklahoma City March sixteenth and eighteenth, in
four Collins March thirty first and April first, in San
Diego April twentieth through the twenty second, and in Dayton, Ohio.
(36:52):
June twenty third to the twenty fourth. If you were
looking for tickets or any of that stuff, you can
find it at Daily show dot com slash Josh Johnson
can't wait to see you there. Hello friends at your
Girl Don't Say Slump, and I got some shows coming
up at the Blue Room Comedy Club April fifth through
the sixth in Springfield, Missouri. Come check me out, Blood
(37:16):
you Pie
So step your game up, living indoor pool lifestyle, feed
clothes and pull your family. That's amazing. Okay, feed cloth
and pull your family. Honestly, I can get behind that. Hey, everybody,
(00:22):
welcome to hold up. I am josh Johnson. I am
one of your co hosts. I'm a writer for the
Daily Show, and I am joined by Josey's love cut
cut cut cut, No hat, No, I'm not. I'm not
(00:45):
a hater. I was waiting for the rest because I
said your name, but then you did the noises. But
then you stopped talking. Oh yeah, they know I'm a
chorus probably in the Daily Show. I got to see
this every time. I don't know, I don't know who's listening. Joshua,
tell the people what is a topic for today? We
are gonna be talking about something that is, uh, it's
(01:09):
tough because some people. To some people, it's gonna seem
the same, all right, and we need you to know
it's not. It's not the same at all. Okay, Today's
topic is indoor pool versus outdoor pool. And you know,
as originally a Florida Negro, you know exactly what side
(01:31):
I'm gonna pick. But we're gonna give the people like
hinta che a momento to think about it? Play the music. Now,
what side do you think me and josh pick? Because
(01:52):
you picked your side. And I'm gonna tell you, Joshua,
tell the people lie hid tight? What in? You are?
Always misguided? Always misc wow, always inaccurate, incorrect points of view?
What did you pick? I chose indoor pool? Incorrect? We're going, okay,
(02:19):
you want to talk about incorrect? Okay, I'm telling you
right now because the thing that you are picking with
outdoor pool, you're imagining a specific type of pool that
I don't have to deal with being inside. Okay, And
I'm talking about that above ground outdoor pool. All right.
That's that's up. That's up with your pools. Okay. All
(02:41):
of my pools go deep, all right. All of my
pools inside are lavish decades. So you're saying that there's
no indoor above grand pools. I have not seen one.
That don't mean don't exist. Yeah, but where have you
seen one? You've never seen? Jesus, But you believe even
in I'm saying, where have you seen the pools that
(03:04):
we're talking about outside? I would never seen an above
ground indoor pool I'm starting to think that maybe there
aren't any all right, if I haven't say what you
haven't seen, there has to be somewhere, Yes, but we're
talking about one maybe, versus thousands of above ground right
sitting on the top of the lad ray to bust
(03:27):
like bad boys two above ground pools is indoor above
ground pool just a hot tub. I feel like even
the hot tubs are a little bit more sunken indoors.
There've never I've never climbed up to get to a
hot tub. All indoor therapy pools are above are sit
(03:47):
up above ground. Oh so even when my pools are
above ground, they're therapeutic. Thank you, Thank you for helping
me at my point outdoors, out there with the elements. No, no,
thank you. Your chip too much dip on my chip? Okay, wow,
(04:08):
pretty rich coming from you. It might always misguided we
had barely started the episode. It might always misguided you,
because here's the thing. When you are in an indoor
pool situation, Okay, when you're protected from the elements. Now,
I could actually go swimming when it's raining. I go
(04:29):
swimming when it's lightning. Okay, I don't have to worry
about what the rest of the world is doing when
I go swim. Okay, I'm just gonna see. Okay, it's
five grand Are you talking about kittie pool? Is that
what you're sending me? No, okay, because the kittie pool
could be indoors or outdoors. That's a stalemate. No, no,
(04:52):
this this is still outside. Don't do that. That's an
outside trying to be inside outdoor pool. Now, help me out.
Tell me what you think it's so special about outdoor pools?
What puts them over the edge of indoor? Because I
got air conditioning, I got safety. Me and my brother
(05:12):
and my mama. My family used to live on North
Miami Beach. Okay, we lived in a hotel on Nor
Frami Beach, and every day I would either go swimming
in the pool or swimming in the ocean, right like
my brother and my brother had a German tours tap.
My brother had to swim for me. A pool is nostalgia.
(05:37):
You know. When I was little, we would go to
my Auntie Joy's house for my birthday every year, and
they had a pool at their house because and then
you know my Ntfefe her parents had a pool. So
like I grew up going to black people's houses with pools,
okay uh. And then we went to camp and so
we would go swimming. And because I can swim enough
(05:57):
to keep myself alive. I'm not out here going to
the Olympics or nothing like that. But you know, water
won't kill me. Land probably will, but water, I'm good.
I'm buying a shit for me, the outdoor pool. Also,
it's like me, I'd appreciate this. So when I moved
to LA at twenty sixteen, I met Madison Shepherd and
(06:19):
Danielle Perez, so like one of my best friends now.
And we started this group on Facebook called you Can't
Swim with Us and we would throw pool parties. But
Daniel didn't have a pool at her house. Danyelle, his
mom had a pool, but Daniel didn't have a pool
(06:42):
at her house. Madison lives in an apartment with no pool.
So we would be at other people apartment complexes and
it was it was a private group on Facebook, and
these comics were really trying because we were private. We
were not letting everybody in because I listen, it's gonna
be plus sized bitches and two piece bas and suits,
and we don't need no stap at it okay, And
(07:02):
people were pressed to get in this group, Josh pressed
and sometimes like somebody who's like, oh, this person wants
to get in, I'm like, I don't really like them,
so like they had to have like at least two
thirds approval m to get into the group. Well, the
other wild thing about being in LA at that time
was that it would be like fucking three thirty and
(07:25):
afterton on Wednesday, and they're like twelve people here to
go swimming, and I'm like, why are none of y'all
are at work? Yeah, I'm a full time comic. Okay,
you're not m and you always bitch about being broke.
Go okay, Like LA is the only I've never had
lived and we're like LA where nobody was at work.
(07:47):
So for me, the pool has represented a lifestyle. Can
you swim when there's lightning? No? And I've had people
tell me they go swimming in the rain, which I
think is a complete stupid thing to do. But I
don't like about indoor pools is that the room that
they're in one always reeks of chlorine. It's just muggy
(08:11):
a lot of times. Also, you know when you're on
the road, a lot of the hotels like Michigan or
like Pennsylvania will always have indoor pools. Okay, I always
feel gross in an indoor pool. There's something about the
room is always wet, it's always kind of human in there.
It's always smelling a chlorine, a little muggy. So it's
(08:31):
like when you're in an outdoor situation, because like a
pool day is like a sunny day. We are drinking
and a nice a beverage, you know, just sitting just
out here, just judging others, really taking in the scene,
like stuck, excited, excited, excited. So like a pool day. Yeah,
(08:56):
a pool day is a day like I remember my
mom used to drop me and my brother off that
I don't think she was supposed to be doing this
at the public pool in a best friend park in
Norcross and she drop us off with some lunchee. So
I've always been like a swimming gold swimming kind of camp.
Like the dream of my life is to have a
house with a cement pond. Okay, all right, hey, yeah,
(09:20):
yeah I think that that. I think that's dope. I
want that for you. I will just say indoor pool
pool day is every day you keep listing the best
conditions for an hour. But see, that's the thing. It's like,
it's the best conditions because you're not in a muggy room.
You're not in you don't come out stinking of chlorine.
(09:43):
Your eyes aren't burning, you know what I mean. It's
like the room that an indoor pool is in is
never a nice It never feels good. It never feels
good to you. Wa No, the water and indoor pool
feels nasty. The it's always the wrong hot, it's the
(10:03):
wrong kind of hot. Okay, it never feels good. It
never feels good to me because it's like humid but chlorine. Human,
it's muggy. It's this pool heated as this room heated.
What's going on? Yeah, and then it's like your eyes
start burning because it's just a mist of chlorine. I
(10:26):
just I've allergic to chlorine. Absolutely not, Okay, it's just
there's a lot about the chlorine, and I feel like
that's never hit me the same because indoor pools, I
think are over chlorinated because I've never had this. Yeah,
I can see that because they don't have the sun.
(10:49):
M you know, to really just burn things off, truly,
you have to adapt for the fact that this pool
is on a arrest of light. To me, I guess
an outdoor pool is redundant because if you have an
outdoor pool and you have the ocean, just go for
(11:12):
the ocean. Some people don't like the ocean. I understand
some people. I'm very afraid of the ocean. Also, it's
like there's nothing swimming the nothing that swims in a pool,
as people kind of there's no fish in a swimming pool,
not on purpose. Shut up, Josh. Chlorine will kill a fish. Shop.
(11:34):
That's why pools are chlorinated. Nose fishes jumping out of
the sea, Elmar, I'm sure there's one, all right. I'm
not playing this game. I will not live for these
shenanigans on this day. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying
(11:58):
is that is also, if you're don't landlocked area, you
have to have a pool. If the closest ocean is
more than two hours away, you're not going there on
a regular basis. If you want to get a quatic
in this bitch, you have to have a pool. Now,
when you talk about the history of swimming pools, it
is very fucked up. You know the fact that we
(12:19):
weren't just swimming them. You know, people having pools at
their houses because public pools got closed because they didn't
want us in there, you know. But now we get
to swim, don't we mostly? I think, yeah, But I
think that indoor you can bring you if you have
(12:40):
an indoor pool, you know what it speaks to me personally?
You somebody's house or an establishment. Oh I'm talking about both.
But the one at the house is gonna be hard
to be okay, because an outdoor pool at your house,
all right, you might still have to give that one
to nature every once in a while. But an indoor
pool in your house, I'm bringing the snacks. Okay. You
(13:04):
wouldn't bring snacks to outdoor pool? Not always, No, especially
if it's above ground. Have you ever heard of the
redneck trifector? I have heard of it, but remind me
what it actually is above ground pool? Okay, trampoline, pontoon boat,
three of the most fun things you could hope for
(13:24):
on a Saturday afternoon. Do you know anyone who lives
in Florida? Mhmm. Yeah, we've been to the home of
someone with a pool in Florida, I believe. So. Yeah, Now,
did you see that the pool is outside, but is
encased by a screen, like a giant screen as big
(13:47):
as they Basically it's as big as the house. I
don't know if I've seen that. So basically you're like
indoors and outdoors at the same time. Don't don't tell
me that on that. Hold on, let me send it
to you. Oh no, this is this is nice. I
thought you meant when you said a screen. I thought
(14:08):
you meant the you know, like the screen door material.
That meant that made out of the door, it is
made out of that. I thought that you meant the
walls were made out of it, and the ceiling was
made out of it. It doesn't look like there's got
you've got support beams. Yeah, there's some real wall. No,
what it is just the support beams to create the shape,
(14:31):
and then in between that is pure screen. The thing
is if you have a hybrid situation where you essentially
built onto your pool from outside to make it kind
of inside. I don't know where that lands. I don't
know if that becomes inside or it stays outside. Well,
the pool and a screen enclosure. But what it does,
(14:53):
it's like you can enjoy being outside without like the
mosquitos and the bugs and all that. Yeah. Also you
can have food out there, so there's no flies, there's
no Yes, it's gonna it's gonna come down somewhat on
the flies, somewhat on the mosquito. If you're outside, they're
(15:13):
fighting their way in, okay, And I think with an
indoor pool, you don't have to worry about the flies.
You don't have to worry about them. You can get
in your house if you're going in and out of
a door, they can, but not at the right No,
just being outside outside, of course, it's just that's where
the bugs are. You can that they ship. M. But
(15:35):
you're in their neighborhood. You're in their neighborhood. That's why
I don't kill bugs outside because I'm in the ship.
You don't want if I'm out, I don't kill bugs.
I try not to kill a bug if i'm outside.
What is his face? I'm just from outside, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't want to kill a bug if I'm outside, like,
(15:56):
that's their ship. Now, if you're in my house, that's
a difference. M. You came in my ship. But I
try to help you. I'll try to put you outside.
But if you donkey. You die like flies. Though there's
a fly in my house, you die. I can say that.
(16:18):
I don't think you've given me any good reason to
have an indoor pool. The reason I've given you to
have an indoor pool is that you are not out there.
And I can list them if you need, but you're
not out there with the elements, all right, when it
light when it's lightning, When it is lightning, I can
swim in my pool when it's a rainy day. I
can swim my pool when it's just nasty outside, you know,
(16:39):
like sometimes it's just not fun outside, even though it's
not bad weather. I could swim in my pool. My
pool indoors is consistent. Also a pool indoors, if you
can afford it, if you're blessed like that. Everything it
is lavish, it is. It is a beautiful thing. I've
never seen. I'll just say this. I've never been in
someone's house to an indoor pool, and it was ugly.
(17:01):
All right, every indoor indoor pool. I'm not gonna say
all their names, but it's it's it's been two friends, yeah,
two where they was this the Louisiana or is the Chicago?
Third one was Chicago, and one was New York. Yo.
(17:23):
An indoor pool in New York. Yeah, at their house? Yeah, Yo,
you should marry it personally. Uh No, he's taken. Mary's parents,
get adopted, do something. Why don't you put in work?
Why don't you try? Yeah? Now, I'm with you, New
(17:44):
York with just the lack of an access, Tom. I mean,
as a child, I remember seeing on TV kid's playing
like a fire hydrant, and it was the saddest thing
I've ever seen. Look, i'll tell you right now for
for my listeners listening right now, who get me? Who
understand me? Who get where I'm coming from. There's two
(18:05):
angles right here that I want you to hear me
from truly. All right? One men, all right, men, I
want you to listen to me right now. Your family
deserves an indoor pool, all right. So then, as a man,
you gotta go out there. You gotta work, You gotta
do everything that you need to do to go ahead
(18:27):
and get an indoor pool for your family. You don't
want those kids out there struggling in an above ground pool. Daddy,
I can't get out. It's six feet tall, right, You
forgot to put the water in. I live here now right.
You don't want your children yelling at you like that.
You don't want your wife yelling at you. Hey, how
are you gonna get these kids out of this pool?
There's no water, all right? They broke their little feet
(18:49):
jumping in doing cannonballs to nothing. All right, Get an
indoor pool. Let them see the water down there before
they jump in. Don't make them jump off. Faith, But
look second angle right here, second angle. For the people listening,
I want you to have enough money in this world
to get an indoor pool, because you deserve it. After
(19:11):
only after you've put in that work, after you've grinded. Okay,
after that grinding, what's gonna come up? I felt it? Yeah, yeah,
because honestly, a lot of the no one gets an
indoor pool by chance. People put in below ground pools.
(19:35):
Nobody gets that by chance. All right. If your house
didn't already come when you got to work for exactly,
you gotta work, You gotta grind. Okay, duels, they already
know what I'm talking about. You gotta put in work.
You gotta go home. Look at your house and be
like house, Why are you being lame? Why are you
being lame? Okay? All right, don't rest your head until
(19:56):
you can rest your head underground in an indoor poo.
Don't rest on your laurels because you need to be
resting on the tile of a swimming pool. Go ahead
and rest on those floaties that you get from bringing
home all that money to build an indoor pool. You
already know, you already know. I can see what you're saying.
(20:18):
You can swim whatever you want. You can swim anytime
in an indoor pool. You can grind any time to
get it. Indoor poolool. It has to be heated because
if it's cold outside and it's a below ground pool,
your pool could be cold. So you have to get
(20:38):
a heated pool. And if you're gonna be really doing
it right, you gotta get a saltwater pool. That's just
a little extra grinded, all right, you don't even really
need to worry. Okay, that's just you already got the
indoor pool, buddy, that go ahead, just grind until you
get the full pool money. Yeah. Because yeah, Also, also
you want some lights. Okay, maybe you need some lights
(20:59):
of the pool with no lights, a pool with no lights,
a dark pool dark, you might as well be in
stranger things Oh my god, I saw somebody I don't
know on my TikTok. It was a pool. It was
cleaning TikTok. It was pool TikTok, British man that cleans pools.
I didn't know people have some pools England. Yeah, outside pools.
(21:20):
Oh wow, that is a surprise. Yeah, it's only I
don't know what even. We were there for the warmest
month of the year and it wasn't warm enough to
go swimming. Yeah. Yeah, And so he had a client
and they painted the bottom of the pool red. That's
so like it was disturbing. I don't even know what
(21:41):
to say. It was disturbing a red bottom pool. So
did it just look like you were swimming in blood?
It did. Apparently this person is not the only psychopath
to ever do this shit. That's that's deeply disturbed. I
can't even imadgin diving in now. What is your because
because I want to be fair, I brought up outdoor,
(22:03):
above ground pools, all this stuff, all the elements everything
I do want to be fair. What is your ideal
perfect pool? Oh? Well, my ideal perfect pool one is
actually near the beach. Okay, why is that? Because the
feeling you get when you get into the ocean is
not the feeling you get when you get into a pool. Okay.
(22:26):
And I don't like swimming in the ocean at night
because I don't want to go missing. So when you're
near the ocean but you're in a pool, you get
the ocean feeling without the ocean, without being in the ocean. Okay,
got you, got you? And so your ideal pool. Does
it have any extra features or there any other things
(22:48):
going on with your pool besides it being near the
ocean or was that just the first thing? That was
just the first thing? So first thing. Also, there needs
to be an area. It's like the pool that was
at the house we had in the Bahamas was great
because there was a basically as a bench that went
all the way like in the water, that went all
the way around the pool inside when you're in the pool,
(23:09):
but you can sit down because not everybody can fit
on the stairs, you know what I mean. So there's that.
I did also like the fact that pool was all
it was just a little bit deeper in the middle,
but for the most part it was all the same depth.
I don't even have a pool in my house is
eight feet deep. That's insane, A good six feet. Also,
(23:31):
I like those pools where the ones that's not the
one where you step in, but the ones that like
start like two or three inches of water and then
it just graually gets deeper. The pools on a full incline.
I like that because then you can really like almost
just lay down, h and still be in the pool.
(23:54):
Got you? So, so I want to get it right,
So help me list it right near the ocean has
the seated step all the way around, but has the
gradual steps to enter that that take a while. The
rise and run of those is smoother and longer. Yeah,
because if you're doing that, so when you have those
(24:16):
rising like is that what in there's a spot where
it just like becomes one level and then you can
sit and then there's the deeper part of it. Got you?
And it's only going six feet deep, but it's not
going eight feet not going way way beyond? Right? Okay, um,
all right? Is there anything else? This is my dream pool? Yeah,
(24:39):
So don't even think about the house, think about just
the pool. You can have whatever you want at the pool,
because because when I tell you mine, I just want
to make sure we're not talking about the house it's in.
It's specifically the pool. Oh, then I want there to
be a bar. Okay, I want there to be a
bar bar pool side a bar side are so uh?
(25:01):
My homeboy his pool and his apartment had these like
seats in them, like the concrete seats so you could
be sitting down, but like really like secured sitting down,
so you could like sleep if you wanted to. Because
I end up being in water and being asleep. It
is great, all right. Yeah, I think I think that
those are all respectable choices. Oh wait, I forgot something.
(25:24):
I forgot, Yeah, what's up. I would want the ability
to cover it if I needed to. Mmmmm, sounds like
someone's come around. No no, no, no, no, like in
the winter time, to keep up the leaves and stuff
out of it so you don't have to like shock
your pool and all those other stuff. Yeah. Yeah, to
(25:44):
be able to keep the stuff out. Also if it's
a particularly bad mosquito season, because like the covering, because
like the enclosures for pools to screen. Enclosures are cool,
but you still feel like you're inside. I liked sitting
in the open earth. But say it's a rainy day,
(26:06):
or there's a lot of you know, the buzz is out,
then you can throw a little covering up. You know.
I'm with you, but for the most part. But also
it's like, I think it's okay that there's a rainy
day and you can't go swimming. That's okay, hmm. You
know the whole winter time, Okay, you can't go swimming.
I got a balcony. I was on my balcony was
(26:29):
ten degrees outside or or or maybe you wouldn't have
to deny yourself if you would just go ahead and
hustle until you had this indoor pool money and us
indoor pool can go swimming all the time, NonStop, hot
or cold, outside, raining, lightning, thundering, swimming, all of it. Now,
(26:56):
can't you swim not? Well no, yeah, yeah, you can
do a little less than that. But yeah, yeah, So
you're telling me the water get too deep mm hmm,
then it is bye bye Josh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I go. I go pretty uh, pretty knee heavy, knee heavy. Yeah.
(27:19):
I'm like once it hits the knees, you know, I'm like,
ah that the rest of the water over there too
heavy for me. Oh okay, the knee is your threshold? Mmm,
knee is? Knee is you know, maybe stick my hands
in a little bit, lean in front of the knees
and let the water touch me. But oh no, no,
not not going not going deep deep my ideal pool.
That's why it's six feet because even though I'm not
(27:41):
six feet, I can still give a little jump, grab
some air, grab a little air with my mouth, and
then come back down, you know, snatch some some air
with my lips, and then come back down and swim
around and walk around and stuff. But every once in
a while, just instead of when you have a six
foot deep pool and you're at least average height, you
(28:01):
don't have to swim. You can just hop. You can
just hop every now again, just grab some water, come
back down. That's what the dolphins do, you know. So
I would just pop up, be like oo and then
come back down and look around or whatever you do
when you're at a pool where the kid like, the
ideas of opening your eyes in a pool was insane. Yeah,
(28:22):
I was like, guys, all go blind, right, and then
you did it, and you're just like, one, I can't
see shit, and two now my eyes are burning. Yeah
I could see just enough to get kicked in the
face like I could see. Yeah, you're always too close
with somebody. Yeah us. Did you ever your friends have
a baptize each other in a bool? Nah? Not really.
(28:43):
We used to play that game and baptize each other.
H what a fun little Southern thing to do. You
would all your friends just baptized in each other because
that makes sense? Yeah, um, no, I'm with you. I
guess this is my thing to me, the perfect pool
indoors six feetmax. It has It has a little bit
(29:07):
of a mimic to what you were saying, because it
does have a little place for you to sit if
you want to be in the pool but not actually swimming,
and heated with the lights, all right, So heated with
the lights so I can see myself in case I'm drowning.
I can see it, right, I can. Let me go
ahead and pop up real quick. You know. The thing
(29:28):
has to be weirriy about for the indoor pool is
the cleanliness of the pool. You always have to be
on top of that. But I feel like indoor pools.
He's never been an indoor pool like that's on, like
those pools like a YMCA place. I always feel like
there's a film on my body. Whenever I get out
of an indoor pool, Yeah, I don't know what I
(29:50):
can now. I'm always itchy whenever I get have an
indoor pool, like, yeah, ticket shot, I'm so itchy. I
don't know if they put more. I don't know what
it is, but I'm always like oh when I get
out of an indoor pool. So maybe I'm anti indoor
(30:12):
pool because of the experiences that I've had of how
just gross I have felt. Yeah, because like a hotel
or YMCA are the only time I really see indoor pools.
I'm with you. I guess my thing is okay, Okay.
When I've been at an outdoor pool, I have been
(30:32):
accosted with germs like just just the visible. You want
to talk about a film, Let's talk about p okay,
Because the amount of children who I've seen p in
a public pool, it's it's violence. There's not enough chlorine
in the pool. The whole thing should be a vat
(30:54):
of chlorine for all the p and you're letting people do.
I can tell you I was at a pool and
um or was that Austin, Texas Austin, Texas hotel pool?
The water was only like way was probably three feet deep,
and it wasn't a very big I'm talking about Josh,
(31:16):
this was I guess it was like a big dinner
to The pool wasn't big enough for how many people
were in it, and everybody was drinking, every single person,
probably fifty people in that pool. Yeah, it was probably
a pool that you have twenty people in it. Max.
It's a very Vegas thing to have happened. It's a
very Vegas thing. The water wasn't deep at all. Yeah. Yeah,
(31:39):
you're just getting those elbows wet, so you're like your
waist it's like a six foot man was waist deep.
Everybody's drinking. We were probably there for three or four hours.
I really didn't see people getting out of this pool,
and I saw people have multiple drinks. And once I
realized that another hour one, I was like, oh, everybody's
peeing in this pool because I pete in that pool.
(32:25):
And I was like, oh, this water looks different. Let
me get out of this pool. Because I don't thought
I was telling the truth on it was just like
my my still brain. I was like, I think this
water is like changing. Oh God, so we all are
(32:46):
churches were just in peak that yeah, yeah, coming back
to my room took the most magnificent shower m hm.
Because I was like, this is a bunch of us
all noticed it the same, Like nobody was getting out.
People were getting like drink, go after drink. And this
guy was like, so we're just standing each other's pete
and somebody went yes, that person definitely pet the one
that said yes. But uh, let's um, let's kick it
(33:09):
to the listeners. Yeah, I mean I want to hear
from all of you what would you rather, and also
tell us about your dream pool? Who do you think
was right? Um? And who do you think is Josh?
I mean, why you gotta like like I'm I'm trying
this whole episode. I've tried to help and have points
and all, and then you're gonna come at me at
(33:31):
the top end the back end. You said you like
at an indoor pool, and I can't. I can't. I
can't condone that. You can't condone. I gave you every
clear reason because why my pools are superior? I I
might here for your pool supremacy. Yeah, but you you
also don't really want to listen to to reason, you know.
(33:53):
I mean, like, hey, man, the little you know what
the little listeners tell us. Okay, let the listeners. Let
us know who is living the truth, who was telling
the truth about these pash who is letting the children
know how to live their lives. So listen, you tell us.
(34:14):
You go to the comments and YouTube. Now you tell
us how you feel. And I'm not gonna try to
bias you in this last few seconds of the show.
I would never do that. You make your own decisions.
Oh my gosh, what No, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no.
It's not the head scratch. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine,
it's fine. No, not the high acting and the head scratch.
(34:39):
You're talking to me like I'm a man. You earned both. Okay,
I am not a man. You can't head scratch. No,
I'm good, I'm fine. Listen until next time. Okay, keep
putting in work on yourself, keep grind and keep hustling,
(35:01):
all right, get to the top, Get to the top
of the top. And when you're at the top of
the top, when you're the top one percent of the
one percent, look yourself in the mirror and still say
it's not good enough. Okay, remember that, all right, And
for you men, out there. Remember what I said about family,
Remember what I said about pools. All right, so step
(35:23):
your game up, living indoor pool lifestyle, feed clothes and
pull your family. That's amazing. Okay, feed cloth and pull
your family. Honestly, I can get behind that. That's what
I want for you, and that's what I want for
the people in your life. And I was going to
(35:44):
say that there is someone messenges me Jill Burden seventy eight.
Then we need some duels, say merge that said get
your books up, because she is an inspiration to the
cheer drink. Okay, all right, Josh, how you inspiring children today?
I'm inspiring them with ways ways coming through my book
(36:07):
coming out this summer, grind grind ground. Okay, your bathard,
your bad. Thank you so much for listening. We love
(36:29):
you and we will catch you next week by LaBamba.
Hey everybody, I'm gonna be out on the road as
part of the Freshman Tour doing stand up. You can
catch me in Oklahoma City March sixteenth and eighteenth, in
four Collins March thirty first and April first, in San
Diego April twentieth through the twenty second, and in Dayton, Ohio.
(36:52):
June twenty third to the twenty fourth. If you were
looking for tickets or any of that stuff, you can
find it at Daily show dot com slash Josh Johnson
can't wait to see you there. Hello friends at your
Girl Don't Say Slump, and I got some shows coming
up at the Blue Room Comedy Club April fifth through
the sixth in Springfield, Missouri. Come check me out, Blood
(37:16):
you Pie
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