January 19, 2023 • 27 mins
“With a loud neighbor, their lifestyle is invading my home. I've lived in places where it felt like the roof was gonna cave in because I heard every footstep. “ - Dulcé Sloan
“I will say, a nosy neighbor might just save your life, you know? A loud neighbor has never solved a murder. They've never helped in an investigation.” - Josh Johnson
We’re revisiting nosy vs. noisy neighbors this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson.
Hold Up will be back next week with an all-new episode!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, everyone, it's Josh Johnson here. We're off this week,
but we wanted to revisit one of our favorite episodes,
nosy versus Noisy Neighbors, which is worse? I personally prefer neither,
but tune in to find out which one I hate less.
Have a listen, Welcome to hold Up. It's the show
(00:22):
where two best friends, one being corresponded Dulcie Sloan of
The Daily Show and then me, Josh Johnson. I'm a
writer for The Daily Show. We have arguments, but they're
not just any old arguments. These aren't things that you
know you're gonna see in the news, you're gonna see
in the in the mainstream media. These are things from
(00:42):
the streets, all right. We're the vocal point from the
people talking what they're thinking, and we we hash it
out here, we come to a conclusion. We see who's
right and who's more right. You know, it's usually me.
It's usually me. That's not true. But yeah, what we're
discussing today on the podcast, we're not talking about, you know,
(01:05):
the war, We're not talking about the rising housing prices.
We're talking about loud neighbors versus nosy neighbors. This is
where I'm at. This is where I personally land on
the side of wanting nosy neighbors as opposed to loud neighbors.
M hmm, okay, I feel like you You've mentioned I
(01:29):
feel like in the past that you'd rather loud neighbors
the nosy neighbors. Well, this is the thing. Nosy neighbors
loud neighbors, and I'm not I'm not a cock quala,
you know what I mean. I'm not a cock quala.
I don't play calling the cops. But I think with
loud neighbors there is a like, if it gets to
(01:51):
a certain point, you can like tell the building. Again,
I'm not a snitch either, but if you're iracted or
real donkey, I'm gonna say something right. So, like with
souper or loud neighbors, there's always like a course of
action that you can take to at least get them
to chill the hell out. Because the thing is, it's like,
if you have loud neighbors, it's not just you saying
(02:11):
something like things can be done, actions can be taken,
people can get kicked out. With nosy neighbors, it's someone
always popping their head out of the door. Whenever they
hear another door open, it's somebody standing by the talking
to the maleman for too long, or hey, I saw
you got a package or that, and I'm like, bro,
(02:34):
first of all, get the funk up out my business
first and foremost. This is a person who's looking at
who's coming in and out of your house, right. And
I have like a lot of male friends because I'm
a female comic, so most of my friends, like most
of my friends aren't men. And so if I have
like if you come over and hang out and then
Ben comes over and hangs out in the same week,
(02:56):
what the hell is this neighbor gonna think? You see
what I'm saying, It's like, Wow, one came over, then
the other one came over. Now they're both over. Oh goodness,
what kind of life of you? And I'm like, bitch,
first of all, get some business. So what I'm hearing
is that what you don't like about the nosiness, outside
of just the surface level uncomfortableness, is that nosy people
(03:19):
are usually just pretty lonely. It's just it's just a
loneliness manifesting its nosiness. Because you could be nosy and
have you know a full family in the house. Okay,
Nosy don't mean lonely knows, he just means knows it.
Nosy means like it's you don't have no business of
your own. Yeah, yeah, like your mind and mind because
(03:42):
you ain't got no business to money y'all. So I'm
not gonna lie. I personally feel like nosiness rather than loud,
like you know, nosy versus noisy. I'm gonna go with
nosy every time because I'm a pretty boring dude. So
then they're not gonna get any They're not gonna I'm
gonna I'm gonna bore the hell out of a nosy
(04:03):
person knows he isn't coming for me. Oh nosy, But
the thing is nose. He doesn't care nose. He just
wants to know. It's like, okay, you have a dog, right, Yeah,
So now every time they see they're gonna be pressed
that what's he doing with this dog where you know
they haven't walked him in a while. Well, you know,
(04:24):
his girlfriend's out of town. I hope everything like it's
even though you'd have to be by yourself, never leave
your house and receiving no packages for a nosy person
to not be involved at all. Plus they live in
an apartment building and live in a neighborhood, right, so
they're looking for any any piece of information is information
(04:47):
that they want because when they see because also nosy
people have petendency to talk to everybody because they want
to know what the tea is, so they're gonna ask, oh,
well what do you do? And so they're just building
a case. So then it's like, oh, well have you
taken the dot? Well, oh, I see y'all got a
new dog or y'll been getting a lot of packages,
like like what's going on? Like, well, when you're gonna
have kids? Well maybe they're like it's all it doesn't matter.
(05:11):
Like you to be a boring person means that you
live alone, you have no pets, and you don't engage
with the nosy person. Okay, So on a scale of
one to ten, at this moment in time and the conversation,
how would you say you rank your feeling of wanting
a loud neighbor versus a nosy neighbor? Is it like
(05:31):
seven A they're both that they're both don't want I
want neither neighbor. I want neither person. If you had
to pick though if you had to pick, Well, the
thing about a loud neighbor is how are they loud?
That's the thing. I'm talking loud as a structure of
being in life. So we're talking about loud hookups, loud music.
(05:56):
Maybe they practice drums and they're not very good. We're
talking about all the loud oh nosy every time because wow,
every time. Because it's like the people, it's like somebody
down the hall, they have a dog and every time
they leave, I guess when they don't talk, tie the
dog up, the dog barks by the front door, And
(06:19):
I'm just like, first of all, put your dog away.
I know you have multiple bedrooms in your apartment, Like
I know you do your multiple bedrooms in your apartment,
you have a balcony, Like, there's other things that can
happen with this dog that doesn't include that dog barking
for an hour's by the front door, disrupting the other
(06:43):
people on the floor, Like, do something with your dog.
But since I'm not a snitch and it's not that loud,
I don't say anything because at the end of the day,
the dog doesn't know that it's being a nuisance. The
dog don't just being a dog. No, I get what
you mean. I get I get what you're saying. I
did not expect. I thought you would deal dig your
heels way harder than you actually did. Now that we're
(07:06):
really on the same side, because I'm I'm at about
a seven where I'd rather nosy versus noisy, just because
I will say, a nosy neighbor might just save your life.
You know. Well, let's say I'm falling. I'm old. I
felt nosy neighbor is gonna be like, I haven't seen
them in a little while. Let me call somebody. Loud
neighbor won't even notice. A loud neighbor will be like, man,
(07:28):
nobody's called the cops all us in a while, thank god. Um. Yeah,
because I have my other building that I lived in,
someone did pass away. Oh No. The craziest thing about
that is what I was telling my mom about it.
Something fell off my wall and I was like, oh,
we're not doing this in here. It was the craziest
(07:49):
thing when I was in my apartment one day and
I saw, like, you don't just like those regular like
big house lives. Yeah, I was like, fun, did these slow?
What's happening? I was like, I saw like one or
two and I was like, did I leave a window
open or whatever? And then I pulled the curtain back
and there were forty fucking flies trying to get out
(08:14):
of the window, and it was crazy. Your girl upstairs,
so you know Beth that works at the office. The
way that they found out that something was wrong was
there was another girl that she's friends with on the
floor was just looking out of her window and her
apartment and she saw a bunch of flies on the
window of that apartment and called and called the super
(08:36):
and the super was too afraid to go inside, and
then the wife went inside. I just feel like you're
building needed some nosier people that that's that's what I'm
hearing right now. Well, that's what the That's how that
girl figured it out because she was just looking at
her window. She's like, hey. Because he was a very
quiet man, he kept to himself, but at one point
she was like, why are there all these flies on
(08:57):
this one window. Beth was telling me there was like
a smell in her apartment and she didn't know what
it was. And the one day we both come home
from work and I'm just like, why is an ambulance here?
I left and came back. They were there for fucking hours. Wild.
(09:23):
What's the loudest neighbor you've ever had? M hmm do
you ever even even if this was a hotel, because
you know, being on the road, you have to travel
and stuff. It's just it's always sex or an argument
like this either. I love a good argument. That's that's
when I hope my neighbors will be loud, because maybe
I'm not nosy enough to be nosy, but I'm nosy
(09:44):
enough to be messy. So then when somebody's near me
at it as very loud. Oh, it's amazing, that's I
haven't I've never really hurt. I've never lived anywhere where
I could hear a really good argument. I rarely hear arguments.
I heard arguments on the street when like those don't count.
(10:05):
When I'm like, I've never had it where it was like,
I'm worried about this person. Come come to Chicago. Chicago
has some thin walls, all right. I once heard the
full on argument top to bottom, and then the makeup sex,
and and then honestly, the makeup sex was worse to
hear in the argument because my man had no rhythm.
(10:28):
We're talking about plot plot plot plot, Like just I
was like, what are you doing in there? You need help?
It might have been with the argument. What was the
argument about the argument? I think, okay, I think it
was about some petty cash. I think it was like
they had spent some money that was like communal this
(10:50):
is our like piggy bank money, and then one of
them spent it. But then it was like the whole
point was to spend it. Honestly, don't know who I
sided with in the urument, but it got petty real fast.
It got like, well, you know, because you let your
dad live with us for so long, now we all
our last And I was like, okay, oh no, oh.
(11:12):
What I love about hearing an argument through a wall
is that you have to you have to choose your side.
You have to choose who you're like, all right, I
think I think this is the person that I'm into.
Then you also have to choose as the development happens,
what you feel like is the best uh, is the
(11:33):
best argument? Yeah, it's like the best course of action
for the side that you've picked. So one time I
was just chilling right and there was this there was
this guy that was yelling at his roommate, and the
roommate was was like, hey, no, it's not my turn
or whatever. It's like, of course, it's your turn. It's
always your turn because you'd never do it. And they
(11:54):
were arguing about the dishes, all right. But then as
I as I learned more about this this uh roommate situation,
it was just funny because the one that always does
the dishes apparently wasn't doing anything else, and so it
was like, all right, but I vacuum and it's like,
(12:15):
all right, we'll vacuum up some dishes because you never
do the dishes. And it was it got it got
to the point where it stopped being about the dishes.
Like you know, every every roommate situation is lightly it's
like married. It's like diet marriage, you know, because you're
not even involved, but you're you're stuck together for the
term of this lease. And I don't know, I've just watched,
(12:39):
I've watched and heard a lot of great, great arguments
through a wall like it. Actually, it's one of those
things where when you're broke and you're living like that,
it's one of life's you pleasures. Well, you're like, hey,
this is a bad apartment. I'm not living well right now.
This is a bad situation. But you know what's brightening
my day these loudass neighbors. Sometimes it was happening while
(13:02):
I was trying to get sleep. So I still go
nosy over over loud every time, but every once while
you would just hear like, what was the best way
to put it. It's like, for me, it's just funny
when when a man's voice cracks, all right, it's one
of those things where it's like it's like a helly
(13:23):
grown man. Yeah, he had that base, and he might
even be right. That's the worst part. You might even
be right in all of your anger and your assumptions
and everything's going on. You you fully correct, but now
that your voice is cracked, you have lost credibility. It's
like it's and you can feel it happened. So there
(13:43):
was one time I was laying and this is why
I was on air mattress. I was not I was
not having a good life. You know, I've been on
an air mattress before my first uh, when I first
moved to New York, when I first got my first
department in New York, I had an air mattress that's
because I didn't have And then I moved to New
York with like three okase, never furniture, and I had
one of those good like double decker, like thick, expensive
(14:05):
air mattresses, like you can put two people you got
sex on that air mattress, like it was a high quality. Yeah, no,
I'm with you, it's just you're on that one quality. No,
so I already have to basically put myself in a
slight coma to get to sleep right, and then through
the walls, I just feel like, oh, it's not going
(14:25):
down like that. No, no, no, no, no, it's just
a bunch of nas, which is also how you can
tell someone in an argument can't think of the next thing.
They just remember that baseline is no. My position is no.
I must say no until I think of another point.
But no, no, no, no, no, y'all y'all wrong for that.
You'all wrong for that. And then think that means that
(14:48):
he's usually in the wrong, Like if I hear a
man saying, no, it's not going down like that. Now
you're only going on like this, nig is wrong. Whatever
is happening, he is wrong. I love a good I'm
not going out like that because such a dramatic sentence. Yes,
I'm not going out like that. I'm like, this isn't
no one's coming back to day Ryan. It's not the
(15:10):
end of training day. This is not the end of like,
this is not the climaxic scene of a movie. This
is not a drug deal that could go wrong in
any minute. You're just arguing about you probably got got
caught cheating or you didn't do something you were supposed
to do, like the whole na no, no, oh oh oh,
so that's how you're gonna do me. If I hear
that's how you're gonna do me. It's not going down
(15:32):
like that. Oh oh so what you're trying to say?
What I said? Ding dong. You're fucking wrong, bro. I'm
not had a lot of your start with. Oh. I
feel most of what you over here is oh like,
if I hear an argument Atlanta, oh oh oh oh,
so that's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. That's
how y'all gonna do me. That's how y'all gonna do me.
(15:53):
And like, I know you're wrong, No, you're wrong, You're
not saying nothing. Wow, that's how y'all gonna do. Yeah,
that that's how we're going to do you, bro. Like
it's if I hear certain sentences when I hear an argument,
especially if a man is in an argument with whoever,
if I hear wow, so that's how you're gonna treat
(16:15):
a black man. You were dead fucking wrong. We're dead
fucking I don't care what happened. He wasn't supposed to
take out the trash, or he had a baby that
his girl didn't know about. I'm telling you that niked
is wrong. He is dead asked wrong? Oh or wow,
(16:37):
A good long while we'll do it because in this situation,
the guy was like no, no, no, no, and then
and then I heard some other murmuring because the other
person wasn't mean as loud. I also think he was
positioned too close to the wall and out of nowhere.
My man is like who you talking to? And it
(16:57):
was it was like you could tell he guys are
upset that at the who he lost the base and
he couldn't find it again, like like the base was
avoiding him until he got to the two and the
two was too much. The two was like two, well,
who are you talking to? One is one of my
(17:18):
favorite phrases in black toom right, who you're talking to?
Means I know you're not talking to me. Basically, I
love it when it's black women do when they go
who are you talking to? As it's a legitimate question,
well like you're talking to you? There's no way, and
(17:38):
my favorite is who are you talking? And then the
look up? I love saying the look around is a
is a? The look around? I've done it, I've done it.
I'm sorry, who who are you talking to? I'm it's
like you've been talking to You're It's a legitimate question
because there's no fucking away this arman being is talking.
(18:04):
I've said, I know you're not I know you're not
talking to me. I know you're not talking to me.
Who else? Who else is here? Who are you talking to?
Clearly I've made the mistake of standing in between you
and whoever you're trying to disrespect. Right now, full taxi driver,
(18:25):
I want to have another quick check in because things
took a turn early in the episode where I'm realizing
now that even though we started out in the position
of noisy versus nosy, you've you've quickly come over to
my side of nosy over noisy, and I just want
(18:46):
to see if you still feel that way at this
point in the episode. To be fair, I hate them both.
But if I had to make this devil's choice, it
was Nosey all along. It was because it was like,
well loud only because once I got the parameters of
(19:08):
what the loud was, then I can't be on board,
and gave me on board at all, because now that
I know that this this person is going to be
making every noise humanly possible, there has to be effort
being put into this amount of noise, Like you can't
(19:28):
cook this loudly, you can't talk this loudly. Everything you do,
like that's cartoon level. That's cartoon level. You're walking loud,
you're talking loud everything this is. You're being a fucking
menace as of that point. You're just doing it for
the sake of being disruptive. No one exists out of
(19:49):
volume that everyone can hear at all times. That's not
even how humans work, Like that's insane. I think that
there are people who are unintentional really loud neighbors because
I've lived in places where it felt like the roof
was gonna cave in because I heard every footstep. My
upstairs neighbors used to like vacuum loudly every Friday, which
(20:12):
was confusing because we had hardwood floors. So I was like,
maybe they have rugs, but if there were rugs, it
would soak up the sound. It would soak up the sound.
So you are loudly vacuuming. And it was like just
vacuuming pebbles hard every Friday, like midday on Friday, which
(20:34):
was fine, except that I would record, like the cartoon
that I do Great North. We were recording on Friday's,
so depending on what time they vacuum. And I'm like
what They're like, Oh, we're hearing something they had. My
upstairs neighbor is vacuuming on hardwood floor. They don't own
a broom. All right, This vacuum has been the family
for a very long time. This is a Dison family,
(20:57):
no Dison it. This was a hoover. This is original
in the back. Yes, this was remember being the loudest
things like It's like it's like, I understand the animals
were afraid of these, but like human children are also
afraid of these loud aspects. They were so loud it's
like prove to me this won't eat me. Yeah, I'm free.
(21:20):
What do I know? I'm ten. This still seems like
a problem for the listener who may have landed on
the other side of where we are. I do have
to offer up that a nosy neighbor can still take
you to a place that you're so angry. You don't
you don't even really understand why. It's it's where things
become so petty, you know, like when you have that
(21:42):
neighbor that just moves your trash can and you're like,
why did you do that? It's not a thing that
should even affect your day, but if they do it enough,
you're ready to snap. I feel like nosy people have
that level of effect. It's that metal some kind of
like not minding your business, kind of like you're been
somewhere in a white person who just would randomly pop
up and be like, Hey, what are you doing? And
(22:04):
I'm just like the funk are you? Uh? I don't
know how many times that has happened to be, but
I can see it being very aggrafatic. I've been places
and just be like, hey, what are you up to?
Like what do you want? Do you go? No, I'm
not telling you nothing. Well, I just wondering y'all, like
you're having fun. No, bitch, move you don't. That's not
(22:26):
what you're here for. You want to know what three
niggas is where you at? Move? No, it's the same
concept or it's just like, oh, you just moved in.
What's going on? And it's like the whole concept of
like bringing over like uh, it's like, oh, we just
brought over a like castle roll or whatever. And like,
first of all, I'm I don't know you're not eating
your food. Um, I feel like wait, I feel like
(22:49):
we're crossing it to a territory of just people think believe. No, no, no, no, no,
you do not understand the original intent of that. Oh, hey,
welcome to the neighborhood. They want to see what your
house looks like. They want to see how many people
(23:10):
are in your house. And let's say how you decorated
the it's to be nosy, they don't know you. Welcome
you to the neighborhood to find out who you are,
what you do, who lives over here. So when they
established what the baseline of humans is over here, then
when anybody who's not in a bait, let's like, okay,
well it's a husband and a wife, or it's uh,
(23:33):
you know, two husbands. Whatever. If you see Bobby and
Jim every day and you know Bobby done left on
the trip and Jim got somebody else coming over, well
we notice that's not where's what's Well, you know Bobby
always a Bobby would suitcase. Somebody said he was going
on going on in business trip for a couple of days.
(23:54):
Well why do you see it? And it's that so
now I know. So that's how you create the nosy
neighbor in a neighborhood, like like you know you because
people on apartments don't come check and see how you
that's not it's an apartment. But like in a house,
you know, you want to see who's around, what's popping,
who's doing what? You wanna make sure that you know
foolish is going on. So the original intent of the hey,
(24:17):
welcome to the neighborhood is, well, find out what the
hell is going on at your house and how to
judge you accordingly, for it got you. So the thing
that might be a bit difficult is that the same way,
the same process of big like a new nosy neighbor
(24:40):
is also kind of similar to the cubic A new
for it. It's like it's dangerously close. It's like like
if you just moved in and I want to be
your friend and I don't know you and I don't
even know what you do, but I'm like, maybe I
want to be friends with this person. I think I
have to like come over with some sort of welcome gift.
(25:04):
And I think I have to like, you know, invite
you to stuff and like, yeah, but you don't know
how it. But so say you want to come over
develop a friendship. I you know, you have to both
be interested to be friends. So if it doesn't pop off,
if there's no chemistry there but one of you doesn't
(25:26):
get it, you keep coming over. Now you just well, look,
I I'm glad that we have come to this. I
think I feel like this is like one of the
first times we really really agreed on something that I
did not see this coming. At least with a nosy neighbor.
I can go in my house and then it's done.
(25:46):
With a loud neighbor, their lifestyle isn't isn't what's the
word I'm trying to say, is invading my home? Like
I don't live in your house. But I hear the
noise in your house. Yea, so it's like you don't
pay rent here, So take your sounds music, take the
(26:09):
noise tape, the argument. I don't know, y'all. I don't
want to be involved. I don't want to be involved.
I don't want to be involved, and get out of
my house. I feel well, thank you so much for
listening to hold up. We're here every week, we drop
every Thursday. We bring new topics every time, and I
appreciate you being here toils. I appreciate that for once
(26:30):
we really came to us. This is never like just
so you know, as listeners, I don't know what episode
this is gonna be or anything, but this hasn't happened
before now and even just in our friendship. It's very
rare that me and you both are just like, yep,
when you take when you gave me the uh, the
whole spectrum of of auditory assault that can be done,
(26:54):
and I was like, I gotta be out. I gotta
because the nosy neighbor has to see you to be nosy.
Allowed neighbors never saw to murder, They've never helped in
an investigation. They know the least. They were like, I
didn't see anything. I didn't hear anything either, Right, but
it Nosy neighbor knows well she always comes home around
two in the morning from work and can come home.
(27:15):
Nosy Neighbors accounts hold up in court truly. Listen to
hold Up wherever you get your podcast, and watch the
video version at Daily show dot com. Backslash hold Up
Hey, everyone, it's Josh Johnson here. We're off this week,
but we wanted to revisit one of our favorite episodes,
nosy versus Noisy Neighbors, which is worse? I personally prefer neither,
but tune in to find out which one I hate less.
Have a listen, Welcome to hold Up. It's the show
(00:22):
where two best friends, one being corresponded Dulcie Sloan of
The Daily Show and then me, Josh Johnson. I'm a
writer for The Daily Show. We have arguments, but they're
not just any old arguments. These aren't things that you
know you're gonna see in the news, you're gonna see
in the in the mainstream media. These are things from
(00:42):
the streets, all right. We're the vocal point from the
people talking what they're thinking, and we we hash it
out here, we come to a conclusion. We see who's
right and who's more right. You know, it's usually me.
It's usually me. That's not true. But yeah, what we're
discussing today on the podcast, we're not talking about, you know,
(01:05):
the war, We're not talking about the rising housing prices.
We're talking about loud neighbors versus nosy neighbors. This is
where I'm at. This is where I personally land on
the side of wanting nosy neighbors as opposed to loud neighbors.
M hmm, okay, I feel like you You've mentioned I
(01:29):
feel like in the past that you'd rather loud neighbors
the nosy neighbors. Well, this is the thing. Nosy neighbors
loud neighbors, and I'm not I'm not a cock quala,
you know what I mean. I'm not a cock quala.
I don't play calling the cops. But I think with
loud neighbors there is a like, if it gets to
(01:51):
a certain point, you can like tell the building. Again,
I'm not a snitch either, but if you're iracted or
real donkey, I'm gonna say something right. So, like with
souper or loud neighbors, there's always like a course of
action that you can take to at least get them
to chill the hell out. Because the thing is, it's like,
if you have loud neighbors, it's not just you saying
(02:11):
something like things can be done, actions can be taken,
people can get kicked out. With nosy neighbors, it's someone
always popping their head out of the door. Whenever they
hear another door open, it's somebody standing by the talking
to the maleman for too long, or hey, I saw
you got a package or that, and I'm like, bro,
(02:34):
first of all, get the funk up out my business
first and foremost. This is a person who's looking at
who's coming in and out of your house, right. And
I have like a lot of male friends because I'm
a female comic, so most of my friends, like most
of my friends aren't men. And so if I have
like if you come over and hang out and then
Ben comes over and hangs out in the same week,
(02:56):
what the hell is this neighbor gonna think? You see
what I'm saying, It's like, Wow, one came over, then
the other one came over. Now they're both over. Oh goodness,
what kind of life of you? And I'm like, bitch,
first of all, get some business. So what I'm hearing
is that what you don't like about the nosiness, outside
of just the surface level uncomfortableness, is that nosy people
(03:19):
are usually just pretty lonely. It's just it's just a
loneliness manifesting its nosiness. Because you could be nosy and
have you know a full family in the house. Okay,
Nosy don't mean lonely knows, he just means knows it.
Nosy means like it's you don't have no business of
your own. Yeah, yeah, like your mind and mind because
(03:42):
you ain't got no business to money y'all. So I'm
not gonna lie. I personally feel like nosiness rather than loud,
like you know, nosy versus noisy. I'm gonna go with
nosy every time because I'm a pretty boring dude. So
then they're not gonna get any They're not gonna I'm
gonna I'm gonna bore the hell out of a nosy
(04:03):
person knows he isn't coming for me. Oh nosy, But
the thing is nose. He doesn't care nose. He just
wants to know. It's like, okay, you have a dog, right, Yeah,
So now every time they see they're gonna be pressed
that what's he doing with this dog where you know
they haven't walked him in a while. Well, you know,
(04:24):
his girlfriend's out of town. I hope everything like it's
even though you'd have to be by yourself, never leave
your house and receiving no packages for a nosy person
to not be involved at all. Plus they live in
an apartment building and live in a neighborhood, right, so
they're looking for any any piece of information is information
(04:47):
that they want because when they see because also nosy
people have petendency to talk to everybody because they want
to know what the tea is, so they're gonna ask, oh,
well what do you do? And so they're just building
a case. So then it's like, oh, well have you
taken the dot? Well, oh, I see y'all got a
new dog or y'll been getting a lot of packages,
like like what's going on? Like, well, when you're gonna
have kids? Well maybe they're like it's all it doesn't matter.
(05:11):
Like you to be a boring person means that you
live alone, you have no pets, and you don't engage
with the nosy person. Okay, So on a scale of
one to ten, at this moment in time and the conversation,
how would you say you rank your feeling of wanting
a loud neighbor versus a nosy neighbor? Is it like
(05:31):
seven A they're both that they're both don't want I
want neither neighbor. I want neither person. If you had
to pick though if you had to pick, Well, the
thing about a loud neighbor is how are they loud?
That's the thing. I'm talking loud as a structure of
being in life. So we're talking about loud hookups, loud music.
(05:56):
Maybe they practice drums and they're not very good. We're
talking about all the loud oh nosy every time because wow,
every time. Because it's like the people, it's like somebody
down the hall, they have a dog and every time
they leave, I guess when they don't talk, tie the
dog up, the dog barks by the front door, And
(06:19):
I'm just like, first of all, put your dog away.
I know you have multiple bedrooms in your apartment, Like
I know you do your multiple bedrooms in your apartment,
you have a balcony, Like, there's other things that can
happen with this dog that doesn't include that dog barking
for an hour's by the front door, disrupting the other
(06:43):
people on the floor, Like, do something with your dog.
But since I'm not a snitch and it's not that loud,
I don't say anything because at the end of the day,
the dog doesn't know that it's being a nuisance. The
dog don't just being a dog. No, I get what
you mean. I get I get what you're saying. I
did not expect. I thought you would deal dig your
heels way harder than you actually did. Now that we're
(07:06):
really on the same side, because I'm I'm at about
a seven where I'd rather nosy versus noisy, just because
I will say, a nosy neighbor might just save your life.
You know. Well, let's say I'm falling. I'm old. I
felt nosy neighbor is gonna be like, I haven't seen
them in a little while. Let me call somebody. Loud
neighbor won't even notice. A loud neighbor will be like, man,
(07:28):
nobody's called the cops all us in a while, thank god. Um. Yeah,
because I have my other building that I lived in,
someone did pass away. Oh No. The craziest thing about
that is what I was telling my mom about it.
Something fell off my wall and I was like, oh,
we're not doing this in here. It was the craziest
(07:49):
thing when I was in my apartment one day and
I saw, like, you don't just like those regular like
big house lives. Yeah, I was like, fun, did these slow?
What's happening? I was like, I saw like one or
two and I was like, did I leave a window
open or whatever? And then I pulled the curtain back
and there were forty fucking flies trying to get out
(08:14):
of the window, and it was crazy. Your girl upstairs,
so you know Beth that works at the office. The
way that they found out that something was wrong was
there was another girl that she's friends with on the
floor was just looking out of her window and her
apartment and she saw a bunch of flies on the
window of that apartment and called and called the super
(08:36):
and the super was too afraid to go inside, and
then the wife went inside. I just feel like you're
building needed some nosier people that that's that's what I'm
hearing right now. Well, that's what the That's how that
girl figured it out because she was just looking at
her window. She's like, hey. Because he was a very
quiet man, he kept to himself, but at one point
she was like, why are there all these flies on
(08:57):
this one window. Beth was telling me there was like
a smell in her apartment and she didn't know what
it was. And the one day we both come home
from work and I'm just like, why is an ambulance here?
I left and came back. They were there for fucking hours. Wild.
(09:23):
What's the loudest neighbor you've ever had? M hmm do
you ever even even if this was a hotel, because
you know, being on the road, you have to travel
and stuff. It's just it's always sex or an argument
like this either. I love a good argument. That's that's
when I hope my neighbors will be loud, because maybe
I'm not nosy enough to be nosy, but I'm nosy
(09:44):
enough to be messy. So then when somebody's near me
at it as very loud. Oh, it's amazing, that's I
haven't I've never really hurt. I've never lived anywhere where
I could hear a really good argument. I rarely hear arguments.
I heard arguments on the street when like those don't count.
(10:05):
When I'm like, I've never had it where it was like,
I'm worried about this person. Come come to Chicago. Chicago
has some thin walls, all right. I once heard the
full on argument top to bottom, and then the makeup sex,
and and then honestly, the makeup sex was worse to
hear in the argument because my man had no rhythm.
(10:28):
We're talking about plot plot plot plot, Like just I
was like, what are you doing in there? You need help?
It might have been with the argument. What was the
argument about the argument? I think, okay, I think it
was about some petty cash. I think it was like
they had spent some money that was like communal this
(10:50):
is our like piggy bank money, and then one of
them spent it. But then it was like the whole
point was to spend it. Honestly, don't know who I
sided with in the urument, but it got petty real fast.
It got like, well, you know, because you let your
dad live with us for so long, now we all
our last And I was like, okay, oh no, oh.
(11:12):
What I love about hearing an argument through a wall
is that you have to you have to choose your side.
You have to choose who you're like, all right, I
think I think this is the person that I'm into.
Then you also have to choose as the development happens,
what you feel like is the best uh, is the
(11:33):
best argument? Yeah, it's like the best course of action
for the side that you've picked. So one time I
was just chilling right and there was this there was
this guy that was yelling at his roommate, and the
roommate was was like, hey, no, it's not my turn
or whatever. It's like, of course, it's your turn. It's
always your turn because you'd never do it. And they
(11:54):
were arguing about the dishes, all right. But then as
I as I learned more about this this uh roommate situation,
it was just funny because the one that always does
the dishes apparently wasn't doing anything else, and so it
was like, all right, but I vacuum and it's like,
(12:15):
all right, we'll vacuum up some dishes because you never
do the dishes. And it was it got it got
to the point where it stopped being about the dishes.
Like you know, every every roommate situation is lightly it's
like married. It's like diet marriage, you know, because you're
not even involved, but you're you're stuck together for the
term of this lease. And I don't know, I've just watched,
(12:39):
I've watched and heard a lot of great, great arguments
through a wall like it. Actually, it's one of those
things where when you're broke and you're living like that,
it's one of life's you pleasures. Well, you're like, hey,
this is a bad apartment. I'm not living well right now.
This is a bad situation. But you know what's brightening
my day these loudass neighbors. Sometimes it was happening while
(13:02):
I was trying to get sleep. So I still go
nosy over over loud every time, but every once while
you would just hear like, what was the best way
to put it. It's like, for me, it's just funny
when when a man's voice cracks, all right, it's one
of those things where it's like it's like a helly
(13:23):
grown man. Yeah, he had that base, and he might
even be right. That's the worst part. You might even
be right in all of your anger and your assumptions
and everything's going on. You you fully correct, but now
that your voice is cracked, you have lost credibility. It's
like it's and you can feel it happened. So there
(13:43):
was one time I was laying and this is why
I was on air mattress. I was not I was
not having a good life. You know, I've been on
an air mattress before my first uh, when I first
moved to New York, when I first got my first
department in New York, I had an air mattress that's
because I didn't have And then I moved to New
York with like three okase, never furniture, and I had
one of those good like double decker, like thick, expensive
(14:05):
air mattresses, like you can put two people you got
sex on that air mattress, like it was a high quality. Yeah, no,
I'm with you, it's just you're on that one quality. No,
so I already have to basically put myself in a
slight coma to get to sleep right, and then through
the walls, I just feel like, oh, it's not going
(14:25):
down like that. No, no, no, no, no, it's just
a bunch of nas, which is also how you can
tell someone in an argument can't think of the next thing.
They just remember that baseline is no. My position is no.
I must say no until I think of another point.
But no, no, no, no, no, y'all y'all wrong for that.
You'all wrong for that. And then think that means that
(14:48):
he's usually in the wrong, Like if I hear a
man saying, no, it's not going down like that. Now
you're only going on like this, nig is wrong. Whatever
is happening, he is wrong. I love a good I'm
not going out like that because such a dramatic sentence. Yes,
I'm not going out like that. I'm like, this isn't
no one's coming back to day Ryan. It's not the
(15:10):
end of training day. This is not the end of like,
this is not the climaxic scene of a movie. This
is not a drug deal that could go wrong in
any minute. You're just arguing about you probably got got
caught cheating or you didn't do something you were supposed
to do, like the whole na no, no, oh oh oh,
so that's how you're gonna do me. If I hear
that's how you're gonna do me. It's not going down
(15:32):
like that. Oh oh so what you're trying to say?
What I said? Ding dong. You're fucking wrong, bro. I'm
not had a lot of your start with. Oh. I
feel most of what you over here is oh like,
if I hear an argument Atlanta, oh oh oh oh,
so that's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. That's
how y'all gonna do me. That's how y'all gonna do me.
(15:53):
And like, I know you're wrong, No, you're wrong, You're
not saying nothing. Wow, that's how y'all gonna do. Yeah,
that that's how we're going to do you, bro. Like
it's if I hear certain sentences when I hear an argument,
especially if a man is in an argument with whoever,
if I hear wow, so that's how you're gonna treat
(16:15):
a black man. You were dead fucking wrong. We're dead
fucking I don't care what happened. He wasn't supposed to
take out the trash, or he had a baby that
his girl didn't know about. I'm telling you that niked
is wrong. He is dead asked wrong? Oh or wow,
(16:37):
A good long while we'll do it because in this situation,
the guy was like no, no, no, no, and then
and then I heard some other murmuring because the other
person wasn't mean as loud. I also think he was
positioned too close to the wall and out of nowhere.
My man is like who you talking to? And it
(16:57):
was it was like you could tell he guys are
upset that at the who he lost the base and
he couldn't find it again, like like the base was
avoiding him until he got to the two and the
two was too much. The two was like two, well,
who are you talking to? One is one of my
(17:18):
favorite phrases in black toom right, who you're talking to?
Means I know you're not talking to me. Basically, I
love it when it's black women do when they go
who are you talking to? As it's a legitimate question,
well like you're talking to you? There's no way, and
(17:38):
my favorite is who are you talking? And then the
look up? I love saying the look around is a
is a? The look around? I've done it, I've done it.
I'm sorry, who who are you talking to? I'm it's
like you've been talking to You're It's a legitimate question
because there's no fucking away this arman being is talking.
(18:04):
I've said, I know you're not I know you're not
talking to me. I know you're not talking to me.
Who else? Who else is here? Who are you talking to?
Clearly I've made the mistake of standing in between you
and whoever you're trying to disrespect. Right now, full taxi driver,
(18:25):
I want to have another quick check in because things
took a turn early in the episode where I'm realizing
now that even though we started out in the position
of noisy versus nosy, you've you've quickly come over to
my side of nosy over noisy, and I just want
(18:46):
to see if you still feel that way at this
point in the episode. To be fair, I hate them both.
But if I had to make this devil's choice, it
was Nosey all along. It was because it was like,
well loud only because once I got the parameters of
(19:08):
what the loud was, then I can't be on board,
and gave me on board at all, because now that
I know that this this person is going to be
making every noise humanly possible, there has to be effort
being put into this amount of noise, Like you can't
(19:28):
cook this loudly, you can't talk this loudly. Everything you do,
like that's cartoon level. That's cartoon level. You're walking loud,
you're talking loud everything this is. You're being a fucking
menace as of that point. You're just doing it for
the sake of being disruptive. No one exists out of
(19:49):
volume that everyone can hear at all times. That's not
even how humans work, Like that's insane. I think that
there are people who are unintentional really loud neighbors because
I've lived in places where it felt like the roof
was gonna cave in because I heard every footstep. My
upstairs neighbors used to like vacuum loudly every Friday, which
(20:12):
was confusing because we had hardwood floors. So I was like,
maybe they have rugs, but if there were rugs, it
would soak up the sound. It would soak up the sound.
So you are loudly vacuuming. And it was like just
vacuuming pebbles hard every Friday, like midday on Friday, which
(20:34):
was fine, except that I would record, like the cartoon
that I do Great North. We were recording on Friday's,
so depending on what time they vacuum. And I'm like
what They're like, Oh, we're hearing something they had. My
upstairs neighbor is vacuuming on hardwood floor. They don't own
a broom. All right, This vacuum has been the family
for a very long time. This is a Dison family,
(20:57):
no Dison it. This was a hoover. This is original
in the back. Yes, this was remember being the loudest
things like It's like it's like, I understand the animals
were afraid of these, but like human children are also
afraid of these loud aspects. They were so loud it's
like prove to me this won't eat me. Yeah, I'm free.
(21:20):
What do I know? I'm ten. This still seems like
a problem for the listener who may have landed on
the other side of where we are. I do have
to offer up that a nosy neighbor can still take
you to a place that you're so angry. You don't
you don't even really understand why. It's it's where things
become so petty, you know, like when you have that
(21:42):
neighbor that just moves your trash can and you're like,
why did you do that? It's not a thing that
should even affect your day, but if they do it enough,
you're ready to snap. I feel like nosy people have
that level of effect. It's that metal some kind of
like not minding your business, kind of like you're been
somewhere in a white person who just would randomly pop
up and be like, Hey, what are you doing? And
(22:04):
I'm just like the funk are you? Uh? I don't
know how many times that has happened to be, but
I can see it being very aggrafatic. I've been places
and just be like, hey, what are you up to?
Like what do you want? Do you go? No, I'm
not telling you nothing. Well, I just wondering y'all, like
you're having fun. No, bitch, move you don't. That's not
(22:26):
what you're here for. You want to know what three
niggas is where you at? Move? No, it's the same
concept or it's just like, oh, you just moved in.
What's going on? And it's like the whole concept of
like bringing over like uh, it's like, oh, we just
brought over a like castle roll or whatever. And like,
first of all, I'm I don't know you're not eating
your food. Um, I feel like wait, I feel like
(22:49):
we're crossing it to a territory of just people think believe. No, no, no, no, no,
you do not understand the original intent of that. Oh, hey,
welcome to the neighborhood. They want to see what your
house looks like. They want to see how many people
(23:10):
are in your house. And let's say how you decorated
the it's to be nosy, they don't know you. Welcome
you to the neighborhood to find out who you are,
what you do, who lives over here. So when they
established what the baseline of humans is over here, then
when anybody who's not in a bait, let's like, okay,
well it's a husband and a wife, or it's uh,
(23:33):
you know, two husbands. Whatever. If you see Bobby and
Jim every day and you know Bobby done left on
the trip and Jim got somebody else coming over, well
we notice that's not where's what's Well, you know Bobby
always a Bobby would suitcase. Somebody said he was going
on going on in business trip for a couple of days.
(23:54):
Well why do you see it? And it's that so
now I know. So that's how you create the nosy
neighbor in a neighborhood, like like you know you because
people on apartments don't come check and see how you
that's not it's an apartment. But like in a house,
you know, you want to see who's around, what's popping,
who's doing what? You wanna make sure that you know
foolish is going on. So the original intent of the hey,
(24:17):
welcome to the neighborhood is, well, find out what the
hell is going on at your house and how to
judge you accordingly, for it got you. So the thing
that might be a bit difficult is that the same way,
the same process of big like a new nosy neighbor
(24:40):
is also kind of similar to the cubic A new
for it. It's like it's dangerously close. It's like like
if you just moved in and I want to be
your friend and I don't know you and I don't
even know what you do, but I'm like, maybe I
want to be friends with this person. I think I
have to like come over with some sort of welcome gift.
(25:04):
And I think I have to like, you know, invite
you to stuff and like, yeah, but you don't know
how it. But so say you want to come over
develop a friendship. I you know, you have to both
be interested to be friends. So if it doesn't pop off,
if there's no chemistry there but one of you doesn't
(25:26):
get it, you keep coming over. Now you just well, look,
I I'm glad that we have come to this. I
think I feel like this is like one of the
first times we really really agreed on something that I
did not see this coming. At least with a nosy neighbor.
I can go in my house and then it's done.
(25:46):
With a loud neighbor, their lifestyle isn't isn't what's the
word I'm trying to say, is invading my home? Like
I don't live in your house. But I hear the
noise in your house. Yea, so it's like you don't
pay rent here, So take your sounds music, take the
(26:09):
noise tape, the argument. I don't know, y'all. I don't
want to be involved. I don't want to be involved.
I don't want to be involved, and get out of
my house. I feel well, thank you so much for
listening to hold up. We're here every week, we drop
every Thursday. We bring new topics every time, and I
appreciate you being here toils. I appreciate that for once
(26:30):
we really came to us. This is never like just
so you know, as listeners, I don't know what episode
this is gonna be or anything, but this hasn't happened
before now and even just in our friendship. It's very
rare that me and you both are just like, yep,
when you take when you gave me the uh, the
whole spectrum of of auditory assault that can be done,
(26:54):
and I was like, I gotta be out. I gotta
because the nosy neighbor has to see you to be nosy.
Allowed neighbors never saw to murder, They've never helped in
an investigation. They know the least. They were like, I
didn't see anything. I didn't hear anything either, Right, but
it Nosy neighbor knows well she always comes home around
two in the morning from work and can come home.
(27:15):
Nosy Neighbors accounts hold up in court truly. Listen to
hold Up wherever you get your podcast, and watch the
video version at Daily show dot com. Backslash hold Up
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