Is It Back-to-School Jitters—or Something Else?

Kids who are anxious about returning to school could be worried for several reasons: they may be reacting to the pressure on them for good grades, or they fear they can't do the work, or they’re dealing with an issue like ADHD. Dr. Saltz has advice on how to find out what’s really going on—and suggestions to help children get on a better, happier path.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Bees are challenging times, but you don't have to navigate
them alone. Welcome to How can I Help? I'm doctor
Gale Saltz. I'm a clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at
the New York Presbyterian Hospital, a psychoanalyst, and best selling author,
and I'm here every week to answer your most pressing questions,

(00:26):
hopefully with understanding, insight and advice. At the start of
a new school year, most children face a new teacher,
a new curriculum, a step up in workload, and, for
some children, more than you might think, the development of
a mental health issue or learning disability that affects academic performance. Today,

(00:52):
I have a question from a mom concerned about her
child handling the increased workload at school when this year starts.
Oftentimes kids don't tell parents or anyone when they feel
anxious that somehow they are struggling with the work. Sometimes
they don't know why they have difficulty concentrating, or they

(01:16):
can't master something that it seems like they should be
able to. They grow increasingly anxious in this awareness, but
they hide what's happening as best they can. Unfortunately, they
often end up feeling ashamed like they must be dumb,
their self esteem drops, and the problem therefore only worsens.

(01:41):
School age is when an issue first presents. The most
common of these is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The symptoms
are difficulty regulating when you are paying attention, difficulty following directions,
impulsiveness forgetting things like books or homework at home. A

(02:07):
teacher may not realize this is what's happening, although sometimes
they do. Talking to your child about what is working
for them in school and what isn't, what's hard and
what's not, can give you insight into what may or
may not be developing. Similarly, of all children will develop

(02:33):
an anxiety disorder sometime in childhood. A child who is
worried all the time and having a lot of anxiety
can't really engage well with school work, or for that matter,
learn Noticing when a child expresses a lot of worries
what if something happens, has dread, feels nervous, does don't

(03:00):
want to leave you or go to a friend's house
can all indicate an anxiety disorder. Again, talking to your
child about their mood and their worries over the summer
and re encouraging this conversation in the fall can allow
you to pick up whether your child is struggling with anxiety.

(03:24):
So with that, let's turn to my listeners question and
ask how can I help, dear doctor Saults. My son
is starting middle school this fall, and I am worried
about whether the school work increase will be too much
for him this year. In the spring of fifth grade,
he started getting nervous about assignments and quizzes. He felt

(03:49):
upset about not getting a good score even one time.
I'm not putting pressure on him to be some kind
of perfect student, but he already seems to be putting
a lot of pressure on himself, and I'm not sure
what to do if he again starts getting upset about
grades or managing the workload. I would appreciate any suggestions

(04:11):
you have. Even if you are not telling him he
needs to get good grades, the world around him probably
is telling him that good grades matter, that grades reflect potential,
And unfortunately, it's hard to not feel evaluated by grades
as a person overall, especially if by nature you are

(04:35):
a striver and a bit of a perfectionist. So the
question becomes is he indeed being too perfectionistic or was
he starting to actually struggle with something specific, So ask
yourself these questions. Did you see a change in academic

(04:58):
performance and other words? Were his grades good and then
they started slipping? Was he nervous about other things besides grades,
like social things or safety things or family stuff? In
other words, was he expressing a lot of concerns? Do

(05:18):
you notice other issues related to school, like forgetting to
bring his homework to school or his book that he
needs at home to do his homework. Is he losing stuff?
Is his work messy or disorganized? Is he having more
difficulty in a subject that doesn't interest him at all
versus doing really well and staying focused on subjects that

(05:42):
he is excited about. It is at about the start
of middle school when kids who may turn out to
be struggling with an attentional issue first exhibit meaningful symptoms.
So if he does have other accompanying symptoms, for example
losing things forgetting things, then it may be worth screening

(06:03):
him for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, because then the way
that he approaches his work could benefit from a specialist
who can teach him skills to cope with a d
h D symptoms. If, however, in a different vein. What
you hear are numerous different worries. What if this happens?

(06:26):
What if that happens? Then? Another common issue for kids
is generalized anxiety disorder, and it is also treatable, But
an evaluation is needed also to determine if this is
the case, and then a short course of treatment of
psychotherapy can relieve him of his worries. It is important

(06:49):
to find out if either is the case, because the
longer the situation goes on untreated, the more all aspects
of his life and self esteem can suffer, and the
farther he falls off his expected developmental curve. Treatment can
set him back on his normal path. It could, however,

(07:11):
be none of these, and he may just be a
victim of our society's over emphasis on the need for
perfect and high performance across the board. This alone, though
not pathology, can derail a child who's putting too much
pressure on themselves and whose self esteem suffers if they

(07:34):
don't meet their own unrealistic goals. Continued support and messaging
that perfect is the enemy of the good, that you
care more that he's learning, engaging mining areas of interest
and trying then what exactly the results are and that

(07:55):
he should too. That might really help. You might also
speak to his teacher about your concerns and your preferred
messaging about good versus perfect, about learning versus having to
have a's because it teachers messaging can really make a

(08:17):
big difference. I hope that was helpful. I'll be back
in a moment with some more thoughts. Back with a
few more thoughts. When a child is diagnosed with a

(08:41):
learning disability or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, might they only
have difficulty in school? Could they also have a potential strength.
About ten of school aged children have attention deficit disorder,
and ten to fi actually have dyslexia, the most common

(09:03):
of the learning disabilities, A d h D affect the
child's ability to regulate when they are attending to something.
This results in difficulty concentrating on subject matter that the
child does not find especially compelling, but also hyper focusing

(09:23):
on material that is of great interest to them. It includes,
for many, difficulty with being disorganized, misplacing or forgetting things,
being impulsive, and for those with a d h D,
the hyperactivity part or physical restlessness the child experiences is

(09:44):
in addition to the other symptoms. Dyslexia affects a child's
ability to process written language correctly. Both of these differences
in a child's brain can make aspects of school and
homel life more difficult. Many parents are reticent to pursue
a diagnosis, even when they have a visibly struggling child,

(10:09):
because the very idea of any mental illness or learning
disability feels so distressing and stigmatizing. But delaying diagnosis has
two significant drawbacks. One is that the longer a child
stays off track with regard to their school ability and

(10:29):
overall development, the more difficult it is to get them
back on track. Children's brains are very plastic, meaning they change,
and the earlier you treat them, the more quickly those
brain changes can happen. This can result in fewer symptoms

(10:50):
or the development of coping skills that enable your child
to work around their symptoms. The second drawback of laying
diagnosis is that along with the brain differences that cause
symptoms such as distractability and difficulty reading, come particular strengths that,
if nurtured, could make all the difference in terms of

(11:13):
your child's actual potential and their future self esteem. Case
in point is dr Beryl Benseraph, a radiologist who discovered
the method of using ultrasound to do prenatal screening for
Down syndrome. Dr Nisarraph has dyslexia, and though school was

(11:35):
challenging for her due to difficulty reading, her uniquely wired
grain also helped her make breakthroughs that eluded other doctors.
This was no doubt due at least in part to
a heightened ability to spot patterns and to think creatively,

(11:56):
and these are known strengths for people with dyslexia. Data
also support a connection between a d h D and
exceptional originality and creativity, high energy, and an ability to
take risks that can pay off. When a child is

(12:16):
diagnosed with a d D. One of the first things
I advise parents is to be aware of the particular
types of strengths that often accompany these disorders. I tell
parents to expose their children to subject matter and experiences
that allow for that strength to be discovered and to

(12:36):
manifest itself. For example, introduce your child to puzzles in
various three dimensional mazes and blocks to explore their visual
spatial aptitude. To art projects and music of various types
to gauge interest in creative aptitude and to subject matter

(12:59):
from a strong enemy to coding to jazz, to allow
a spark to catch that will engage both their strength
and perhaps even their passion. Discuss with your child their
ideas for solving problems that exist in these different arenas,
to allow them to generate creative solutions, and all over

(13:22):
what might work and what might not. Allow space in
their day for imaginative play, because unstructured time is needed
to allow creative thought to blossom. It's also important to
speak to your school and teachers about allowing for methods

(13:42):
of completing work that may play to your child's strengths.
That way, they can show what they know and build
confidence in their capabilities. Parents can and should balance getting
a diagnosis and treatment was searching for and nurturing strengths

(14:03):
in their child. The earlier parents do this, the better.
Many of the world's most creative and successful people also
have a mental health diagnosis or a learning disability. Do
you have a problem I can help with? If so,
email me yet how can I help? At Seneca women

(14:25):
dot Com, all centers remain anonymous and listen every Friday too.
How can I help with me? Doctor Gale's salts,