June 26, 2025 • 26 mins
Housewives stars Alexia Nepola and Jennifer Fessler are joining forces to give you the latest in divorce news! Which A-list celeb is having his own "gray" divorce? (And some tips on how to navigate your own silver situation).
Plus, Alexia explains how watching her own marital issues play out on camera, right now, makes her feel! And, the women give their thoughts on fellow housewife Porsha Williams' post-divorce interview.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hi, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm
so excited to be on today on one of your
celebrity mentors, Alexia Nicola from the Real Housewives of Miami.
And I'm so excited to have my fellow mentor, Jennifer
Bestler from the Real Housewives of New Jersey on with
(00:30):
me today.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hi girl, how are you good? And I'm doing great?
How are you, Patsey.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm very excited to have a chance to like we've
I mean, we've met before, but we haven't really had
a chance to sit down and shoot. I'm a huge fan,
to be.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Honest, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I'm also a fan of your show, and i'm you
and I'm so happy that we get to do this
together and have some fun.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Me too, Me too.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
It's going to be, actually, I think, a really interesting episode.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I mean, the longest it's not about me and my divorce.
I can talk about anybody else's divorce, right.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
What divorce going there? I have a feeling you're a
little tired of it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, I kind of am. Yes, I am here. You
want me to ask you about it? When I've got
the notes, Well, you know it's not in the notes.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And when I got the notes, and I'm like, oh
my god, of course, yes, I'll do it as long
as I don't have to get to talk about mine.
But you know, divorce is going on every single second,
every single minute that we're talking unfortunately, but you know,
sometimes you know it is necessary, and I feel like
being in the public eye is is just one of
the causes of divorce just in itself, just like for
(01:36):
me personally, Like that's what I believe. And today we're
going to be talking about celebrities who are you know,
who are going through a divorce right now, and you know,
different kind of divorces we're going to talk about, which
is actually like fawn and cute because I don't know
about you, but I had never heard about great divorce
and silver divorce.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I just I want to say you and I'm not
asking you anything. I just want to say that I
think that, Uh, it's like, I think so easy right
for people in the outside to watch. They don't know
what you've been through, but they know what they read
or they know what they hear, and it just what
you've been through reminds me. I hadn't been divorced, but
I was separated for like a year and a half
(02:15):
and there is it is such I'm very crass, Alexias,
so forgive me, but it is such a mindfolk right
when you have those types of feelings that you have
immu least at my age I had. I was seeing
someone when I was in my separation, and the feelings
are overwhelming for me, especially I was, you know, I
was older and got caught up in this relationship that
(02:37):
I had. It felt like the sparks in the chemistry
and ultimately it wasn't right for me. And I'm not
asking you about you and Todd, but people don't understand
how hard that can be when you are intimately emotionally
involved with someone for whatever reason, and it doesn't matter
what everyone says or what everyone does. It's like you
(03:00):
close your eyes. At least for me, I remember, and
all it is is about that person, that person, that person,
that person, that person, And I just know you've been
through it, and Sister, I admire you because that's not easy.
It's not easy.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And you know what's the most diffical part is having
to share this, you know, on TV, because you know
it's already hard enough to end.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
You're going through this privately.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
You know between you know, your husband and wife and
then you you're like put in a position that I
was filming a show. And I've always been very real,
you know, I lived my truth. I've been very authentic.
And that's what you guys got to see. You know,
you got to see and will continue to see because
you know, our episode is you know, will be airing
for a few months now, so for a few months,
(03:42):
so you'll get to see like my whole journey and
it really has not been easy, but there was I
had no other choice.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I had no other choice.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And you know, like I said, you know, you guys
don't get to see the full story. You know, you
get to see, you know, whatever day I was filming,
whatever Alexa was feeling that way, you know I was that.
You know, I was an emotional roller coaster. You know,
sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad, the highs
the lows. So you guys got to see me like
the most vulnerable and however I showed up that day
(04:09):
whatever I was feeling, that's what you guys saw. But
it was really difficult, Jen Like I honestly like I
don't know, but I feel like every season for me
is like that.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I can't.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I'm not and I don't say this just to be
self deprecated. I was a friend of a housewife for
two years. It's not the same, right, Apple's stablished. I
haven't been through years and years of this. So but
for me, even on days that were bad, there's there's
life outside of what the camera catches. To have to
sit there, go through glam, you're getting phone calls, whatever
(04:41):
part of your life is creeping in and whether it's
you know, for me, my husband, my kids, a friend
is in trouble a and then it doesn't matter because
then boom, cameras are on. But all of that stuff
is still there. It's in your stomach, it's in your body.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
It's like once you get that anxiety, my friend always
says is I think it's so true, Like it's hard
to get it out of your body. So now you're
filming and you already have the lump in your throat
and you're interacting and you're talking about things that it's
hard to even focus on.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I I give it one of the hardest things that
I that I've had to do, you know, one of
the hardest things, and then reliving it, because that's the
other thing that was some months ago. I had to
relive all that, you know, episode one, episode two, which
was a breaking point for me. And you know, and
you'll get to follow my journey, you know. That's all
like I want to say, Like for now, I don't
(05:31):
really want to talk about it, but you know, you
guys will get to see it. And you know, for me,
the most important thing is that it's unfortunate that you
only get to see like, you know, bits and pieces,
you know, because the show is not only about me,
it's about other you know, but I shared the show
with eight other women.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You know, we all have a story to tell.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
And again it's about Todd. I mean it's not easy, right.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I mean you don't get to see the full story,
you know, unfortunately for him. You know, since we're talking
about him, you know you're going to get to see that.
But you know, there's good and bad, like in every relationship,
and there's highs and lows, and you know we're here
today to talk about other people's.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yes, yes, I just wanted to make sure that that
you know that I appreciate just what you're doing, how
you're hanging on and you're inspiring.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I sometimes thank you sometimes like your pain turns into
a purpose, into purpose and if I can help any woman,
and that's not what I want. I'm not trying to
play victim. I'm not trying to be inspiring. I'm just
leaving my truth and I'm telling my story.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Well that's why.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
By the way we're talking, we're talking about you guys, yes, divorced,
but right now specifically, we're talking about women of a
certain age that get divorced. And Alex and I were
just talking about something called gray divorce, which I hadn't
heard of, or silver divorce, and I guess it's when
people that are over fifty get divorced, over the people
(06:50):
that have had a long term marriage. But there's all
of this these tips. I guess it was in USA
today talking about how to survive that, because I think
it's probably different. Divorce is gonna suck, doesn't matter, the
age doesn't matter. But it's probably a little different and
maybe even in some ways scarier when you're older and
you've shared a life with someone for so many years.
(07:12):
House is someonney. You just shared kids with them, and
you shared money with them, and these things become you know,
all of a sudden, you get upended and everything that
you knew I think, I mean I haven't I haven't
gotten a divorce yet, you know. But anyway, so, but
there's this advice that in this article. So we'll just
(07:35):
like you're just go through it and then you'll tell
me what you'll take you So, uh, one of the
tips is don't expect to have the same lifestyle after divorce.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
That's a problem that stops a lot of women from
wanting to get divorced because they're afraid, you know, to
lose their lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Women, Yes, I stick you know, to their relationship and
because they're afraid, you know, they're gonna afraid what's going
to happen to them? And you know, like we said,
you know, they're older, so like where do they start again?
You know, the women in the workforce don't have the
same opportunities when they're fifties, you know, versus their twenties
or thirties.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
So it's like a really scary position to be in.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
And by the way, I have friends who got divorced
later in life, and I honestly, I hate to say it,
not all of them, some of them are living their
best lives. They some of them that say divorce is
so underrated, like it's the best by many of them
who also say they wouldn't do it again. You know,
their lives got turned so upside down.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What do you mean they wouldn't do They wouldn't have
to divorce again?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Right?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And so much of this. I know you guys know this,
but I'm sorry to say it out loud, But it's
just about finances, right, And I guess for a lot
of people, when you've lived a certain way, you know,
you don't have to necessarily lived like a housewife or
a billionaire. But even whatever makes you whatever's comfortable, might
not be so comfortable anymore, right, And like your standing
(08:59):
habits may have to change, and your home may have
to change. And forget about the fact that you're also
divorcing and all the complications that go along with that.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Not easy, right, Well, luckily we're going to ski about
delm what's his name, Delmo Dylan mulroney. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
he because he just also he filed for divorce from
(09:31):
his wife whose name.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
There's no way you try that. I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I know, Prima, something she changed her name. Actually, I
think she made it worse.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I felt like her name before she changed, it was
a lot easier to see She's Italian sense, but from
her new name Prima. And you know, and in their case,
you know, you would you would wonder. You know, they're
both she's a singer songwriter. You know, he's an actor.
They have, you know, two teenager children, and they were
(09:59):
together for fifteen years, you know, and he filed.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
But so, what do you think is happening?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Do you think that people are just getting like tired
of each other or they just like grow apart because
they spend too much time apart, and then they get
comfortable with being alone. I mean, there's so much to unpack,
you know, with these divorces. First of all, we don't
live in their houses. That's to start off with, because
you know, we all have an opinion, but you know,
we don't live in them, we don't sleep in their bedrooms.
(10:24):
We don't know what goes on, right, so we're just
kind of like speculating, you know, on what could have
gone wrong, and don't need them to know what went wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
And I'm sure I don't know. I'm guessing they didn't
read this article before they got divorced, and I think
their issues I don't know if it would be if
their issues are similar to getting a great divorce, but
like the money stuff, I would think for these types
of people from really big celebrities is also a very
different thing, maybe more complicated, maybe less complicated. I think
(10:52):
that he it says that they're amicable, right, I mean,
that's what the article said. It said, no one's asking
for anything, no one's denying anything, not arguing over children
or money. That seems very very unusual.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
It seems to have a mediator. They haven't, you know,
hired a churney. They're trying to resolve it.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I think too that some people sometimes also, I think
it's a huge factor is when they both want out.
So when they both want out, I feel like it's
going to be amicable because there's nothing to fight about.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I don't want to be with you and you don't
want to be with me.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
And you know, we have two children and they're almost
sixteen years old, and we want to be good parents
and we're going to be civil about this.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So I think that's a lot easier.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I think it becomes a problem when, you know, when
it's not consensual, you know, when they're not in the
same page. It's not mutual, like one really wants something
the divorce, the other one doesn't want it. And that
and also money, if you're not fighting over money, I
think money is like the number one thing that couples
fight about.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Yeah too, you see it. You see even like the
doorces that maybe could have started out amicable dissolve. I
don't know how pk and reads divorce started out if
it was amicable getting but all I keep reading is
I don't know the truth, but they're fighting over money.
Let me ask you this, Alexi. If you you're getting divorced,
you've lived in a house for years and years and years,
(12:08):
do you because they said something about don't get hung up.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
On the house.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, because women usually get hung up on the house.
But then guess what happens. They can't afford it, because
you know, that's what happens. And then whatever little money
they're getting or whatever, even if it's a lot of money, right,
they're spending everything on the home, on the mortgage, on
the expenses, and then they run out of money. I
am always a firm believer that it's better to have cash,
you know what you want the house, stick your app,
(12:32):
stick your boot, stick your house up your butt, And
I don't want your house, and you stay with the
house and you deal with it. I always feel like
it's better to have cash, you know, in your in
your brank.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yep, yep, yep. So listen, I think that for me personally,
I wouldn't even want to stay in the house, like
the house is part of the old life, you know
what I mean. It's like I don't know, but I
know a lot of women do. They don't want to
be kicked out of their house. And I understand that.
But for me also, I and again I maybe I'm
just saying this, and when if it actually happened, I
(13:04):
would feel differently. But I would want such a fresh
start such I would want smaller, I would want easier,
whatever makes my life more peaceful. And I think a
lot of women do get caught up in that. And
I think they get caught up on it. First of all,
it feels like it's their house. Of course, maybe it's
the size they don't want to downsize. But also, I mean,
the experts are now saying, you know, just you won't
(13:24):
leave that I won't leave the house like it, you're
doing yourself a disservice in a way, so which I
can think is interesting.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Right, if you can't afford it, you're definitely doing yourself
a disservice. But sometimes it's more like fry, you know,
like I stayed with the house. You know, I understand
sometimes that moms want you know, women that are moms
and have children want to day in the house. People
the children are already going with your trauma of you know,
their father not living there and the separation. So then't
want to keep the children in the home because it's
(13:50):
familiar and it just you know, it's just better for
them as a family unit, for the mom and the children.
But you know, speaking about divorce, data on in life,
the grades divorce, right, these older women are staying with
the homes, and then what happens is they burnt all
their money. They go through the money just to maintain
the house, and then they're left with nothing.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Right, Yeah, I'm totally on the same page. What about
So when I was separated and we were talking about
divorce just goes back a long way. But we've I
in my mind, like you have to be married to
a certain a certain amount of years, then you get
permanent alimony and what kind of alimony was getting. But
I don't think any of that.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I don't know exactly how it stands right now. But
I don't even know if there's any such thing as
permanent alimony, right, and if you get to the rest,
I don't things have changed a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
They have, you know, to benefit the men.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
And with all the defense, you know, you know a
lot of these men, you know, they do were stuck
with permanent alimony so many years ago, you know, do
grow older and then what are the chances that they
can retire?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
You know, and like some might have money for them.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Too, So you know, I'm I'm fifty to fifty, you know,
I feel like there should be some kind of law
that money can't be you know until you know, like
social security agents or you know, you're so much older,
because you know, a lot of men have to keep
on working, can never retire because they need to take
care of their wife. But I think that also depends
on the state, right It depends also, like every state
(15:14):
has like different laws, you know and whatnot. But some
of these women, in other defense have never worked and
day in their life. So imagine you marry your high
school sweetheart like in their twenties or and you know,
you have children, you never work. You know, they give
you like this, you know, beautiful, incredible life where women
have never like.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Had to, you know, be responsible for bills or anything.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
And then they're left at fifty something and they usually
replace you with somebody that's younger. So you know, apart
from everything that you're going through, you also have to
worry about how are you going to live the rest
of your life?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
No, it's brutal, and you know, I just I feel
like all of this depends on the specific couple, and
but there's always just so much mess. Did you hear
about Portia Williams? You did you?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:58):
By the way, you see that in What was It In?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
What was It? In? And People and People Magazine?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Oh no, she was doing the Angela basset thing.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Oh that was so bad. As I love Porscha. I
got to know Porsche. We want the ultimate girls' trip
together to Thailand, and she brought so much joy, you know,
just she just likes a pro room when she comes
in and by the way, she had just she flew
because you know, her work ethics are so strong. And
she left Simon and her family to come film with
(16:27):
us at the Ultimore Girls Trip. And she had just
been on this beautiful vacation, you know, with Simon all
over Europe, and she flew from there basically to Thailand
so she can work. And you know, I totally understand
Porsche because I feel like she's like me, like we
believe in love, the idea of love and the romanticism
and the whole thing. So she meets this guy and
(16:48):
she swept off her feet because he's like a prince,
you know from Africa whatever, you know. I mean not
literally a prince with with with the title, but I'm
just saying like, and he tweats her like a princess,
and she's just like falls in love with him.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
You know, she's hot.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
She doesn't have such great relationships in the past, so
it's easy, you know, when you're like down in Vronerbo whatever,
like somebody comes, you know, into your life and you're like, WHOA,
I feel like that, you know, you fall in love
with a person.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
She talks about. I think they were like fIF there's
a fifteen year age gap, right, a seventeen year seventeen years.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You know, do you think that that's a factor.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I think that's the break. If I had to do
it again, I'm going older and I am. I don't
know if that was a factor specifically in their breakup.
I feel like, especially when you've been through a lot,
what you look for probably, at least my opinion, I
would look for peace.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee peace.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
An older man that literally does piece and an older
man does not guarantee stability either.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
You know, there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Of older men that are emotionally unavailable, They are emotionally immature,
and they bring nothing to the table. But I do
get it in her case, because she was so excited
about this man, even though I know it was like
the husband of one of her friends on the show.
You know, I don't have too much information about that,
or do I care, because I don't think anybody really
breaks anybody's marriage. You know, obviously he was not okay
(18:08):
with with his ex when he you know, wanted to
you know, date Portiche. So that's like a whole different thing.
But what I'm trying to say is that I understand
why she fell in love with this man, and you know,
she kind of thought that he was going to like
save her from whatever she was looking for. You know
what I mean, We're all looking for different things in
different stages in our lives.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Do you think that you were susceptible?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Like I think that if I'm looking for love, because
even you're right, older men don't necessarily they're not necessarily
more stable, They're not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
More emotionally aware.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
For me, I would just be so tired. You know,
at some point, what do you want in life? I
mean I don't know if you. Let's not even let's
not to make this about you, but like do you
still want at a certain age? Are you still looking
for the spark? I mean you always talk about you
know how you're trast so attracted. I know they'll talk
about topic you always so attract me.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I've read through my journey, I've like come to understand
that a spark is not a good thing, right, But
you know what, sometimes you don't have that spark and
it still doesn't turn out the same.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So I need to feel excited.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I need a little bit of that spark, and I
need a little bit of that challenge. But at the
same time, and I've wanted this all stages in my life,
not now that I'm older.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I've always wanted peace.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Stability and just happy, like a happy family, Like you know,
I love my children, and I love my children to
be happy with me and whoever I'm with and just
just be happy. I mean, that's what I've always wanted
and just peace. I just I want you to come
to add things from my life, not because I lack them,
but because I just wanted to be even better and
like you know, and have more joy.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
So that's I think that's the trick. It's like, yes,
I don't. You have to be attracted to someone, You
have to be excited to even after all these years.
Like I always make jokes about you know, I'm not
a menopause and if I never had sex again, but
I always want to, Like I always want to touch
my husband. I wanted to be close to me physically
and that you know what I mean, just like even
if it's just holding hands. He makes me feel safe
(20:03):
and I like the way he smells and whatever all
of that. But but I think at some point, maybe thats
a good thing about going through a silver divorce or whatever,
is that you're smarter and you're right, it's not just
you get not older does not necessarily mean more, but
you're smarter, right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And you know what you want. I think that's the
key thing.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
I think as we get older, you know what you know,
and we may change, you know, you can be changing
husbands every time, like we change. But what I'm trying
to say is, as we get older, you know, we
really know what we want and we're not going to settle.
I think when we're younger, we settle, and when there's children,
you know, and involved, you know, we settle as well.
But I feel like now, you know, at our age,
(20:47):
we really know what we want and we're not going
to you know, and you know we have our boundaries,
you know, we we we've created like a different vision
of what makes us, of how we want to be happy,
and it has to be somebody that's gonna, you know,
being on the same ride with us.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know, my husband and I are like, there's this
whole thing about watching TV and the happiest couples.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Do watch together, don't watch TV.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
But like, to me, that just translates to like space,
Like my husband and I are not, in any sense
of the word, all over each other. And if I'm
being completely honest. Like when we watch TV, we don't
fight over which show because I'm upstairs watching TV and
he's downstairs watching TV.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Well, that's not watching a part together. And you know what,
there's nothing wrong with that. It's again, like what we're saying,
it doesn't necessarily mean because you're sitting next to each
other and you're holding hands at being cuddly that you
come up with a beautiful won dierferent relationship and you're
so connected and there's so much into intimacy.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
You know, that doesn't really, you know, mean that.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So sometimes it is better that you get to watch
your shows that make you happy and make you laugh,
and he can watch whatever shows.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Your own thing. And then at the end of the.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Night, you both go to your bed, and you both
go to your room and there you cuddle and then you're.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Intimate and then you do whatever you have to, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
But I don't think that God determines whether you have
a good relationship or not.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I say this to my daughter all the time. She
has a boyfriend and she adores him. They adore each other,
But I'm like, reach, you can't. Everything is not about
I won't say his name just in case. But like
z everything is not about z z Z. Where is he?
What is he? What is he doing? Is he mad?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Is he not?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
You gotta have your own thing, your own things, separate
from him, separate from this relationship. Like I always encourage her.
You have to have you know, you've got to nurture
other friendship. This is the time to get busy, not
to just see your whole self into a man, into
a relationship, you know. And I listen, I don't even
(22:52):
a little. I'm alone. I love my alone time.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That's important too.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, yeah, you know, but I still like sometimes you know,
we say, you know, like I hear like a lot
of women, you know that they want to control the man, like, oh,
like on Sundays, I don't want him to watch football.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
You know what, if it's good for him, it's a
lot of foot it's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
By the way, when I hear my friends complaining about, oh,
my husband wants to play golf, I'm like, playing golf
is not so bad. It's actually a good thing for him.
And that isn't me not like he doesn't want to
be with you know, he wants to be with you.
But he also likes to play golf and be with
his friends, so that's cool too with me.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
So you know, I don't know. I think we just
got to be smarter about it.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
And and yeah, and keep on watching, you know, the
women need to keep on watching the Real Housewives.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Yeah, well that's how you learn everything, right, that's how
are you going to live and now live your life?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
And like sports, right, and.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
The man can watch the sports or whatever it may be.
And please don't let your guys watch the housewives, you know.
I don't like when the guys come up to me
and say, oh, by.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
The way, like I watched my wife. I'm like, no, no, no,
you shouldn't be watching.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
But so, yeah, so that's fine, you know, I think
that that's actually healthy and good for the relationship.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I would you ever consider sleeping in.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Separate No, absolutely not, Like that's my favorite.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
I wouldn't either.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Relationship is actually sleeping on the same bed.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I agree people talking about that, but that wouldn't be
for me either. I mean, and not because of sex,
just because there's something about.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Coming home in the same or do you want to
wait up together, go to together, give each other a
good night kiss? You know, oh, I mean whatever, whatever, maybe,
but look no, definitely we have to sleep in the
same bed.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, I'm with you, Alexia. Big kudos to you girl.
Like people don't understand you're going through it and you're
showing up and looking like that. Actually, you know how,
I actually find a little annoying. It's more of an accusation,
like do you ever just let yourself fall apart?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
No, you know what, I try to keep it together,
you know, as much as it good. I mean, I
think the most I fall apart was the season, And
like I said, you know, there were like times that
I couldn't even like show up to film because I
was feeling that shitty inside, you know what I mean that,
and I just couldn't do it. But you know, besides that,
you know, I love to work out and I keep
(25:03):
myself busy. I feel like that's my biggest therapy is
just you know, moving, just keep it moving. I have
a lot of great friends and family and support, and
you know, I feel like when you're going through something
like this, you really need your friends.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Well, having said that, I want to see your friends, so.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Please, like I always have.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Finally, you go in through your Housewives. You're like you
see people on TV and you kind of like, I
feel like her, and I could really do this for sure.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
We have this bond and meet you also. I love
your energy, I love who you are, and we have
so much to talk about. I love that you love
to talk like me.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah, so we'll do this again. That was actually really
interesting getting to talk about great divorce and about how
some people choose to approach divorce and their living situation. So,
are you going through a great divorce and need some advice,
Call us or email us. We're here to guide you.
All of this information is in the show notes. Follow
us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the
podcast I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcasts where falling
(26:01):
in love is the main objective.
Hi, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm
so excited to be on today on one of your
celebrity mentors, Alexia Nicola from the Real Housewives of Miami.
And I'm so excited to have my fellow mentor, Jennifer
Bestler from the Real Housewives of New Jersey on with
(00:30):
me today.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hi girl, how are you good? And I'm doing great?
How are you, Patsey.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm very excited to have a chance to like we've
I mean, we've met before, but we haven't really had
a chance to sit down and shoot. I'm a huge fan,
to be.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Honest, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I'm also a fan of your show, and i'm you
and I'm so happy that we get to do this
together and have some fun.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Me too, Me too.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
It's going to be, actually, I think, a really interesting episode.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I mean, the longest it's not about me and my divorce.
I can talk about anybody else's divorce, right.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
What divorce going there? I have a feeling you're a
little tired of it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, I kind of am. Yes, I am here. You
want me to ask you about it? When I've got
the notes, Well, you know it's not in the notes.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And when I got the notes, and I'm like, oh
my god, of course, yes, I'll do it as long
as I don't have to get to talk about mine.
But you know, divorce is going on every single second,
every single minute that we're talking unfortunately, but you know,
sometimes you know it is necessary, and I feel like
being in the public eye is is just one of
the causes of divorce just in itself, just like for
(01:36):
me personally, Like that's what I believe. And today we're
going to be talking about celebrities who are you know,
who are going through a divorce right now, and you know,
different kind of divorces we're going to talk about, which
is actually like fawn and cute because I don't know
about you, but I had never heard about great divorce
and silver divorce.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I just I want to say you and I'm not
asking you anything. I just want to say that I
think that, Uh, it's like, I think so easy right
for people in the outside to watch. They don't know
what you've been through, but they know what they read
or they know what they hear, and it just what
you've been through reminds me. I hadn't been divorced, but
I was separated for like a year and a half
(02:15):
and there is it is such I'm very crass, Alexias,
so forgive me, but it is such a mindfolk right
when you have those types of feelings that you have
immu least at my age I had. I was seeing
someone when I was in my separation, and the feelings
are overwhelming for me, especially I was, you know, I
was older and got caught up in this relationship that
(02:37):
I had. It felt like the sparks in the chemistry
and ultimately it wasn't right for me. And I'm not
asking you about you and Todd, but people don't understand
how hard that can be when you are intimately emotionally
involved with someone for whatever reason, and it doesn't matter
what everyone says or what everyone does. It's like you
(03:00):
close your eyes. At least for me, I remember, and
all it is is about that person, that person, that person,
that person, that person, And I just know you've been
through it, and Sister, I admire you because that's not easy.
It's not easy.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And you know what's the most diffical part is having
to share this, you know, on TV, because you know
it's already hard enough to end.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
You're going through this privately.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
You know between you know, your husband and wife and
then you you're like put in a position that I
was filming a show. And I've always been very real,
you know, I lived my truth. I've been very authentic.
And that's what you guys got to see. You know,
you got to see and will continue to see because
you know, our episode is you know, will be airing
for a few months now, so for a few months,
(03:42):
so you'll get to see like my whole journey and
it really has not been easy, but there was I
had no other choice.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I had no other choice.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And you know, like I said, you know, you guys
don't get to see the full story. You know, you
get to see, you know, whatever day I was filming,
whatever Alexa was feeling that way, you know I was that.
You know, I was an emotional roller coaster. You know,
sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad, the highs
the lows. So you guys got to see me like
the most vulnerable and however I showed up that day
(04:09):
whatever I was feeling, that's what you guys saw. But
it was really difficult, Jen Like I honestly like I
don't know, but I feel like every season for me
is like that.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, I can't.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I'm not and I don't say this just to be
self deprecated. I was a friend of a housewife for
two years. It's not the same, right, Apple's stablished. I
haven't been through years and years of this. So but
for me, even on days that were bad, there's there's
life outside of what the camera catches. To have to
sit there, go through glam, you're getting phone calls, whatever
(04:41):
part of your life is creeping in and whether it's
you know, for me, my husband, my kids, a friend
is in trouble a and then it doesn't matter because
then boom, cameras are on. But all of that stuff
is still there. It's in your stomach, it's in your body.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
It's like once you get that anxiety, my friend always
says is I think it's so true, Like it's hard
to get it out of your body. So now you're
filming and you already have the lump in your throat
and you're interacting and you're talking about things that it's
hard to even focus on.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I I give it one of the hardest things that
I that I've had to do, you know, one of
the hardest things, and then reliving it, because that's the
other thing that was some months ago. I had to
relive all that, you know, episode one, episode two, which
was a breaking point for me. And you know, and
you'll get to follow my journey, you know. That's all
like I want to say, Like for now, I don't
(05:31):
really want to talk about it, but you know, you
guys will get to see it. And you know, for me,
the most important thing is that it's unfortunate that you
only get to see like, you know, bits and pieces,
you know, because the show is not only about me,
it's about other you know, but I shared the show
with eight other women.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You know, we all have a story to tell.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
And again it's about Todd. I mean it's not easy, right.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I mean you don't get to see the full story,
you know, unfortunately for him. You know, since we're talking
about him, you know you're going to get to see that.
But you know, there's good and bad, like in every relationship,
and there's highs and lows, and you know we're here
today to talk about other people's.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yes, yes, I just wanted to make sure that that
you know that I appreciate just what you're doing, how
you're hanging on and you're inspiring.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
I sometimes thank you sometimes like your pain turns into
a purpose, into purpose and if I can help any woman,
and that's not what I want. I'm not trying to
play victim. I'm not trying to be inspiring. I'm just
leaving my truth and I'm telling my story.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Well that's why.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
By the way we're talking, we're talking about you guys, yes, divorced,
but right now specifically, we're talking about women of a
certain age that get divorced. And Alex and I were
just talking about something called gray divorce, which I hadn't
heard of, or silver divorce, and I guess it's when
people that are over fifty get divorced, over the people
(06:50):
that have had a long term marriage. But there's all
of this these tips. I guess it was in USA
today talking about how to survive that, because I think
it's probably different. Divorce is gonna suck, doesn't matter, the
age doesn't matter. But it's probably a little different and
maybe even in some ways scarier when you're older and
you've shared a life with someone for so many years.
(07:12):
House is someonney. You just shared kids with them, and
you shared money with them, and these things become you know,
all of a sudden, you get upended and everything that
you knew I think, I mean I haven't I haven't
gotten a divorce yet, you know. But anyway, so, but
there's this advice that in this article. So we'll just
(07:35):
like you're just go through it and then you'll tell
me what you'll take you So, uh, one of the
tips is don't expect to have the same lifestyle after divorce.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
That's a problem that stops a lot of women from
wanting to get divorced because they're afraid, you know, to
lose their lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Women, Yes, I stick you know, to their relationship and
because they're afraid, you know, they're gonna afraid what's going
to happen to them? And you know, like we said,
you know, they're older, so like where do they start again?
You know, the women in the workforce don't have the
same opportunities when they're fifties, you know, versus their twenties
or thirties.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
So it's like a really scary position to be in.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
And by the way, I have friends who got divorced
later in life, and I honestly, I hate to say it,
not all of them, some of them are living their
best lives. They some of them that say divorce is
so underrated, like it's the best by many of them
who also say they wouldn't do it again. You know,
their lives got turned so upside down.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What do you mean they wouldn't do They wouldn't have
to divorce again?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Right?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
And so much of this. I know you guys know this,
but I'm sorry to say it out loud, But it's
just about finances, right, And I guess for a lot
of people, when you've lived a certain way, you know,
you don't have to necessarily lived like a housewife or
a billionaire. But even whatever makes you whatever's comfortable, might
not be so comfortable anymore, right, And like your standing
(08:59):
habits may have to change, and your home may have
to change. And forget about the fact that you're also
divorcing and all the complications that go along with that.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Not easy, right, Well, luckily we're going to ski about
delm what's his name, Delmo Dylan mulroney. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
he because he just also he filed for divorce from
(09:31):
his wife whose name.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
There's no way you try that. I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I know, Prima, something she changed her name. Actually, I
think she made it worse.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I felt like her name before she changed, it was
a lot easier to see She's Italian sense, but from
her new name Prima. And you know, and in their case,
you know, you would you would wonder. You know, they're
both she's a singer songwriter. You know, he's an actor.
They have, you know, two teenager children, and they were
(09:59):
together for fifteen years, you know, and he filed.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
But so, what do you think is happening?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Do you think that people are just getting like tired
of each other or they just like grow apart because
they spend too much time apart, and then they get
comfortable with being alone. I mean, there's so much to unpack,
you know, with these divorces. First of all, we don't
live in their houses. That's to start off with, because
you know, we all have an opinion, but you know,
we don't live in them, we don't sleep in their bedrooms.
(10:24):
We don't know what goes on, right, so we're just
kind of like speculating, you know, on what could have
gone wrong, and don't need them to know what went wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
And I'm sure I don't know. I'm guessing they didn't
read this article before they got divorced, and I think
their issues I don't know if it would be if
their issues are similar to getting a great divorce, but
like the money stuff, I would think for these types
of people from really big celebrities is also a very
different thing, maybe more complicated, maybe less complicated. I think
(10:52):
that he it says that they're amicable, right, I mean,
that's what the article said. It said, no one's asking
for anything, no one's denying anything, not arguing over children
or money. That seems very very unusual.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
It seems to have a mediator. They haven't, you know,
hired a churney. They're trying to resolve it.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I think too that some people sometimes also, I think
it's a huge factor is when they both want out.
So when they both want out, I feel like it's
going to be amicable because there's nothing to fight about.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I don't want to be with you and you don't
want to be with me.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
And you know, we have two children and they're almost
sixteen years old, and we want to be good parents
and we're going to be civil about this.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So I think that's a lot easier.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I think it becomes a problem when, you know, when
it's not consensual, you know, when they're not in the
same page. It's not mutual, like one really wants something
the divorce, the other one doesn't want it. And that
and also money, if you're not fighting over money, I
think money is like the number one thing that couples
fight about.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Yeah too, you see it. You see even like the
doorces that maybe could have started out amicable dissolve. I
don't know how pk and reads divorce started out if
it was amicable getting but all I keep reading is
I don't know the truth, but they're fighting over money.
Let me ask you this, Alexi. If you you're getting divorced,
you've lived in a house for years and years and years,
(12:08):
do you because they said something about don't get hung up.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
On the house.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, because women usually get hung up on the house.
But then guess what happens. They can't afford it, because
you know, that's what happens. And then whatever little money
they're getting or whatever, even if it's a lot of money, right,
they're spending everything on the home, on the mortgage, on
the expenses, and then they run out of money. I
am always a firm believer that it's better to have cash,
you know what you want the house, stick your app,
(12:32):
stick your boot, stick your house up your butt, And
I don't want your house, and you stay with the
house and you deal with it. I always feel like
it's better to have cash, you know, in your in
your brank.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yep, yep, yep. So listen, I think that for me personally,
I wouldn't even want to stay in the house, like
the house is part of the old life, you know
what I mean. It's like I don't know, but I
know a lot of women do. They don't want to
be kicked out of their house. And I understand that.
But for me also, I and again I maybe I'm
just saying this, and when if it actually happened, I
(13:04):
would feel differently. But I would want such a fresh
start such I would want smaller, I would want easier,
whatever makes my life more peaceful. And I think a
lot of women do get caught up in that. And
I think they get caught up on it. First of all,
it feels like it's their house. Of course, maybe it's
the size they don't want to downsize. But also, I mean,
the experts are now saying, you know, just you won't
(13:24):
leave that I won't leave the house like it, you're
doing yourself a disservice in a way, so which I
can think is interesting.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Right, if you can't afford it, you're definitely doing yourself
a disservice. But sometimes it's more like fry, you know,
like I stayed with the house. You know, I understand
sometimes that moms want you know, women that are moms
and have children want to day in the house. People
the children are already going with your trauma of you know,
their father not living there and the separation. So then't
want to keep the children in the home because it's
(13:50):
familiar and it just you know, it's just better for
them as a family unit, for the mom and the children.
But you know, speaking about divorce, data on in life,
the grades divorce, right, these older women are staying with
the homes, and then what happens is they burnt all
their money. They go through the money just to maintain
the house, and then they're left with nothing.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Right, Yeah, I'm totally on the same page. What about
So when I was separated and we were talking about
divorce just goes back a long way. But we've I
in my mind, like you have to be married to
a certain a certain amount of years, then you get
permanent alimony and what kind of alimony was getting. But
I don't think any of that.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I don't know exactly how it stands right now. But
I don't even know if there's any such thing as
permanent alimony, right, and if you get to the rest,
I don't things have changed a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
They have, you know, to benefit the men.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
And with all the defense, you know, you know a
lot of these men, you know, they do were stuck
with permanent alimony so many years ago, you know, do
grow older and then what are the chances that they
can retire?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
You know, and like some might have money for them.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Too, So you know, I'm I'm fifty to fifty, you know,
I feel like there should be some kind of law
that money can't be you know until you know, like
social security agents or you know, you're so much older,
because you know, a lot of men have to keep
on working, can never retire because they need to take
care of their wife. But I think that also depends
on the state, right It depends also, like every state
(15:14):
has like different laws, you know and whatnot. But some
of these women, in other defense have never worked and
day in their life. So imagine you marry your high
school sweetheart like in their twenties or and you know,
you have children, you never work. You know, they give
you like this, you know, beautiful, incredible life where women
have never like.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Had to, you know, be responsible for bills or anything.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
And then they're left at fifty something and they usually
replace you with somebody that's younger. So you know, apart
from everything that you're going through, you also have to
worry about how are you going to live the rest
of your life?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
No, it's brutal, and you know, I just I feel
like all of this depends on the specific couple, and
but there's always just so much mess. Did you hear
about Portia Williams? You did you?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:58):
By the way, you see that in What was It In?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
What was It? In? And People and People Magazine?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Oh no, she was doing the Angela basset thing.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Oh that was so bad. As I love Porscha. I
got to know Porsche. We want the ultimate girls' trip
together to Thailand, and she brought so much joy, you know,
just she just likes a pro room when she comes
in and by the way, she had just she flew
because you know, her work ethics are so strong. And
she left Simon and her family to come film with
(16:27):
us at the Ultimore Girls Trip. And she had just
been on this beautiful vacation, you know, with Simon all
over Europe, and she flew from there basically to Thailand
so she can work. And you know, I totally understand
Porsche because I feel like she's like me, like we
believe in love, the idea of love and the romanticism
and the whole thing. So she meets this guy and
(16:48):
she swept off her feet because he's like a prince,
you know from Africa whatever, you know. I mean not
literally a prince with with with the title, but I'm
just saying like, and he tweats her like a princess,
and she's just like falls in love with him.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
You know, she's hot.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
She doesn't have such great relationships in the past, so
it's easy, you know, when you're like down in Vronerbo whatever,
like somebody comes, you know, into your life and you're like, WHOA,
I feel like that, you know, you fall in love
with a person.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
She talks about. I think they were like fIF there's
a fifteen year age gap, right, a seventeen year seventeen years.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You know, do you think that that's a factor.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
I think that's the break. If I had to do
it again, I'm going older and I am. I don't
know if that was a factor specifically in their breakup.
I feel like, especially when you've been through a lot,
what you look for probably, at least my opinion, I
would look for peace.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee peace.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
An older man that literally does piece and an older
man does not guarantee stability either.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
You know, there's a lot.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Of older men that are emotionally unavailable, They are emotionally immature,
and they bring nothing to the table. But I do
get it in her case, because she was so excited
about this man, even though I know it was like
the husband of one of her friends on the show.
You know, I don't have too much information about that,
or do I care, because I don't think anybody really
breaks anybody's marriage. You know, obviously he was not okay
(18:08):
with with his ex when he you know, wanted to
you know, date Portiche. So that's like a whole different thing.
But what I'm trying to say is that I understand
why she fell in love with this man, and you know,
she kind of thought that he was going to like
save her from whatever she was looking for. You know
what I mean, We're all looking for different things in
different stages in our lives.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Do you think that you were susceptible?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Like I think that if I'm looking for love, because
even you're right, older men don't necessarily they're not necessarily
more stable, They're not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
More emotionally aware.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
For me, I would just be so tired. You know,
at some point, what do you want in life? I
mean I don't know if you. Let's not even let's
not to make this about you, but like do you
still want at a certain age? Are you still looking
for the spark? I mean you always talk about you
know how you're trast so attracted. I know they'll talk
about topic you always so attract me.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
I've read through my journey, I've like come to understand
that a spark is not a good thing, right, But
you know what, sometimes you don't have that spark and
it still doesn't turn out the same.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So I need to feel excited.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I need a little bit of that spark, and I
need a little bit of that challenge. But at the
same time, and I've wanted this all stages in my life,
not now that I'm older.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I've always wanted peace.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Stability and just happy, like a happy family, Like you know,
I love my children, and I love my children to
be happy with me and whoever I'm with and just
just be happy. I mean, that's what I've always wanted
and just peace. I just I want you to come
to add things from my life, not because I lack them,
but because I just wanted to be even better and
like you know, and have more joy.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
So that's I think that's the trick. It's like, yes,
I don't. You have to be attracted to someone, You
have to be excited to even after all these years.
Like I always make jokes about you know, I'm not
a menopause and if I never had sex again, but
I always want to, Like I always want to touch
my husband. I wanted to be close to me physically
and that you know what I mean, just like even
if it's just holding hands. He makes me feel safe
(20:03):
and I like the way he smells and whatever all
of that. But but I think at some point, maybe thats
a good thing about going through a silver divorce or whatever,
is that you're smarter and you're right, it's not just
you get not older does not necessarily mean more, but
you're smarter, right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And you know what you want. I think that's the
key thing.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
I think as we get older, you know what you know,
and we may change, you know, you can be changing
husbands every time, like we change. But what I'm trying
to say is, as we get older, you know, we
really know what we want and we're not going to settle.
I think when we're younger, we settle, and when there's children,
you know, and involved, you know, we settle as well.
But I feel like now, you know, at our age,
(20:47):
we really know what we want and we're not going
to you know, and you know we have our boundaries,
you know, we we we've created like a different vision
of what makes us, of how we want to be happy,
and it has to be somebody that's gonna, you know,
being on the same ride with us.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know, my husband and I are like, there's this
whole thing about watching TV and the happiest couples.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Do watch together, don't watch TV.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
But like, to me, that just translates to like space,
Like my husband and I are not, in any sense
of the word, all over each other. And if I'm
being completely honest. Like when we watch TV, we don't
fight over which show because I'm upstairs watching TV and
he's downstairs watching TV.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Well, that's not watching a part together. And you know what,
there's nothing wrong with that. It's again, like what we're saying,
it doesn't necessarily mean because you're sitting next to each
other and you're holding hands at being cuddly that you
come up with a beautiful won dierferent relationship and you're
so connected and there's so much into intimacy.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
You know, that doesn't really, you know, mean that.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So sometimes it is better that you get to watch
your shows that make you happy and make you laugh,
and he can watch whatever shows.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Your own thing. And then at the end of the.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Night, you both go to your bed, and you both
go to your room and there you cuddle and then you're.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Intimate and then you do whatever you have to, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
But I don't think that God determines whether you have
a good relationship or not.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I say this to my daughter all the time. She
has a boyfriend and she adores him. They adore each other,
But I'm like, reach, you can't. Everything is not about
I won't say his name just in case. But like
z everything is not about z z Z. Where is he?
What is he? What is he doing? Is he mad?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Is he not?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
You gotta have your own thing, your own things, separate
from him, separate from this relationship. Like I always encourage her.
You have to have you know, you've got to nurture
other friendship. This is the time to get busy, not
to just see your whole self into a man, into
a relationship, you know. And I listen, I don't even
(22:52):
a little. I'm alone. I love my alone time.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That's important too.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, yeah, you know, but I still like sometimes you know,
we say, you know, like I hear like a lot
of women, you know that they want to control the man, like, oh,
like on Sundays, I don't want him to watch football.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
You know what, if it's good for him, it's a
lot of foot it's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
By the way, when I hear my friends complaining about, oh,
my husband wants to play golf, I'm like, playing golf
is not so bad. It's actually a good thing for him.
And that isn't me not like he doesn't want to
be with you know, he wants to be with you.
But he also likes to play golf and be with
his friends, so that's cool too with me.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
So you know, I don't know. I think we just
got to be smarter about it.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
And and yeah, and keep on watching, you know, the
women need to keep on watching the Real Housewives.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Yeah, well that's how you learn everything, right, that's how
are you going to live and now live your life?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
And like sports, right, and.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
The man can watch the sports or whatever it may be.
And please don't let your guys watch the housewives, you know.
I don't like when the guys come up to me
and say, oh, by.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
The way, like I watched my wife. I'm like, no, no, no,
you shouldn't be watching.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
But so, yeah, so that's fine, you know, I think
that that's actually healthy and good for the relationship.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I would you ever consider sleeping in.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Separate No, absolutely not, Like that's my favorite.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
I wouldn't either.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Relationship is actually sleeping on the same bed.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I agree people talking about that, but that wouldn't be
for me either. I mean, and not because of sex,
just because there's something about.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Coming home in the same or do you want to
wait up together, go to together, give each other a
good night kiss? You know, oh, I mean whatever, whatever, maybe,
but look no, definitely we have to sleep in the
same bed.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, I'm with you, Alexia. Big kudos to you girl.
Like people don't understand you're going through it and you're
showing up and looking like that. Actually, you know how,
I actually find a little annoying. It's more of an accusation,
like do you ever just let yourself fall apart?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
No, you know what, I try to keep it together,
you know, as much as it good. I mean, I
think the most I fall apart was the season, And
like I said, you know, there were like times that
I couldn't even like show up to film because I
was feeling that shitty inside, you know what I mean that,
and I just couldn't do it. But you know, besides that,
you know, I love to work out and I keep
(25:03):
myself busy. I feel like that's my biggest therapy is
just you know, moving, just keep it moving. I have
a lot of great friends and family and support, and
you know, I feel like when you're going through something
like this, you really need your friends.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Well, having said that, I want to see your friends, so.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Please, like I always have.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Finally, you go in through your Housewives. You're like you
see people on TV and you kind of like, I
feel like her, and I could really do this for sure.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
We have this bond and meet you also. I love
your energy, I love who you are, and we have
so much to talk about. I love that you love
to talk like me.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah, so we'll do this again. That was actually really
interesting getting to talk about great divorce and about how
some people choose to approach divorce and their living situation. So,
are you going through a great divorce and need some advice,
Call us or email us. We're here to guide you.
All of this information is in the show notes. Follow
us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the
podcast I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcasts where falling
(26:01):
in love is the main objective.
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