March 4, 2022 • 35 mins
ARE YOU ON THE HUNTer?? Well march on over right now because Paris Hilton’s cohost and host of E’s Nightly Pop is your guest host this week. He’s been single for 30 years so he knows a lot!!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
is how Men thick and I heard radio podcast. Hi guys,
some Hunter March and you're listening to How Men Think,
where basically I'm going to unveil what I can without
being excommunicated by my people's you know what though, honestly,
(00:21):
I don't really care about them. Men are the worst,
right So I'm gonna give you all the down and
dirty secrets. If you guys don't know who I am.
I host a show on e called Nightly Pop and
I host a show on Netflix called Sugar Rush. So
I hope you uh enjoy this episode. I'm looking forward
to answering your questions. But before I do that, let
(00:42):
me do eleven questions about myself. So the first one
is what are you known for? Tell us about yourself. Um, well,
besides those two shows, I think I'm known for my
breakfast skillets. It's something that I've made for quite a
few people. So women, some very lucky women, have stayed
(01:02):
the night. We'll start this off right now with this stand.
The night's a tricky one. I am. I have a
king bed for this reason. I don't want to really
be touching in the evening. And it's not because I
don't like the person, It's it's the opposite. I like
them so much that it's going to distract me from sleeping.
(01:22):
Let's get into the next one. Who are you in
your personal life? But what a lot of people don't
know about me is that outside of my personality on
television and in my podcast with Paris Hilton, this is Paris.
Uh what I didn't know. What people don't know about
me is that I'm pretty reserved, like in my personal
(01:45):
life and and I deal with you know, the same
anxiety and other things that a lot of people deal it.
But I have used my humor and everything to kind
of compensate. And uh So, so if you really get
to know me in my personal life, it's still funny
and it's still jokes, but you realize that it's there's
(02:06):
also a deeper side of me where I like to
cook and paint and garden. Um And if you're watching
the video, you can see some of my paintings behind me,
So go check that out. Uh. Three shows that I'm
binge watching right now, I'm binge watching Get Back the
Beatles documentary on Disney Plus. I just I've never seen
(02:27):
such brilliant people collaborate in such a cool way. And
as someone who's starting my own YouTube channel back up
and I have hired somebody and we're collaborating every day.
I literally showed my employee. I was like, this is
what I want us to be like it is like
the Beatles, which I realized I'm asking this young guy
who I started working with a week ago. I'm like,
how come you're not my lenin right now? But I,
(02:52):
uh yeah, that's I'm binge watching that. I'm also binge
watching um Attack on Titan, which is an anime show
I don't never watch. May my brother was like, you
should check it out. My brother likes anime and I
watched it and it's really good. It's an intense show,
but it's good. And then the final thing that I'm
binge watching is um a lot of YouTube. I'm getting
(03:14):
back into YouTube right now, so I watch a lot
of YouTube videos. I love YouTube. It's how I started
in this industry. And um, yeah, what is my favorite food? Well,
I already mentioned breakfast skillets and that would be my
favorite food. I love all breakfast. I just started doing
a it's a very French way of of scrambling eggs.
But basically you do a super slow scramble in butter,
(03:37):
like the eggs should barely be cooking as you're whisking
them slowly. Let me do this seductively, whisk those eggs
so slowly. Not with a whisk. Instead, take a small spatula,
a spoon even, and just slowly push it around the pan,
letting the butter seep into every crevice of those runny,
(03:57):
runny eggs. Then, is it's cooking up, don't add the
salt yet, Get your hand off the salt. We're gonna
place that over a nice piece of sour dough that's
got a thin layer of butter on it. Butter's your friend,
not your enemy. Then we're gonna top it with chopped
chives and thinly sliced smoked salmon chopped up as well,
and then we're gonna add ourselves a finishing flake salt,
(04:20):
a little bit of pepper, and a dash of olive
oil on top. Oh my god, I'm trying so hard. Um,
all right, let's let's move on. But that that is
an enjoyable food for me, right now. Tell us about
your career. Well, I'm very lucky with my career I've been.
I started as an intern for this company called Awesome's TV,
(04:42):
which was a YouTube channel, and I had my own
little YouTube channel, but you know, it wasn't anything that
was paying any bills. And when I got the job
at Awesomeness, I just grinded and grinded for like five, six,
seven years and eventually became the face of the channel.
And then I was hosting, probably hosted thousands of videos
for them, and I told myself, I was like, Oh,
wouldn't it be cool to be on TV? And then
I got a game show network show, and then all
(05:05):
my friends were all I was like, you guy should
watch this show. And they're like, we don't have cable
and I was like, okay, that makes it hard to
watch the show. Neither did I at the time, so
I couldn't even watch my own show. And then Netflix
called Netflix, was like, we want you to do this
baking show called Sure Rush, and I was like absolutely.
Did not tell them that I was gluten intolerant until
season three, um, and then uh, that only shot for
(05:27):
a couple of weeks a year, and then we were done.
I said, how cool would it be to get a
show that I could shoot every day, and then Nightly
Pop came around, which we shoot four days week and
it's been a dream. And we're about to hit episode
five hundred of that show, which is just so rare
and television. I'm so blessed my entire career. I'm very
thankful for. And uh, yeah, what's my biggest fear in life? Um,
(05:50):
it's it's between two different things I really don't like, uh,
the idea of bones breaking, Like I don't want to
get hurt. I hate getting hurt. It sucks. And then
the second one is dying alone. No, if you are
just experiencing who I am as a person right now,
and this these eleven questions are your intro. Oh boy,
(06:13):
I'm sorry this is an aggressive intro. What is your
biggest pet? Peeve? My biggest I hate when people don't
say thank you, just be appreciative. It's so easy to
say thank you. I say thank you like it's you know,
candy on Halloween. I give it to everybody. I don't care, like,
(06:34):
thank you for so simple. Someone holds a door if like,
a guy holds a door open for me on my
way into Starbucks, and I'm like more than five feet away.
I literally look at dead in the Hind I go,
thank you so much, man, that was nice, just because
I just think and so like, if I ever take
a girl out to dinner, I don't mind. I always
love paying. I I believe in that I should pay
(06:56):
just because I asked a person on a date. Um,
if they don't say thank you, it just it rubs
me the wrong way. It's it's last date. Um. What
makes you the most happy? I think making my family
laugh makes me the most happy. You know. I think
(07:18):
getting to do what I do. I get the chance
to try and joke around for a lot of people,
and luckily I get to do it day and day out.
But there's nothing like seeing my dad or my mom laugh,
or my brother laugh a lot at something. It really
makes me happy. What is your ideal Saturday morning? UM?
Ideal Saturday morning would be waking up already off to
(07:43):
a good start, better than it could have been. Um.
Then making a really yummy breakfast, hanging out with my
dog Lucy, taking her on a walk, doing a workout,
but preferably playing a sport like paddle, tennis or basketball,
all in the backyard. Something to just get the left flowing,
and then again hanging out with friends I love and
(08:05):
going to the beach or doing something. Yeah, and work,
I do love work. I'm very lucky that I like
my job, so i'd get some editing done or some producing.
Are you more of the athlete or the armschare quarterback?
The thing is neither. Really, I'm athletic, but nobody's calling
(08:26):
me saying, hunter, we need a fifth on the on
the court. It's just not happening. I'm good, I've played
sports my whole life, but I'm not that good. And
then the armshair quarterback. Now, I don't care about other
grown men. I don't get invested like that. I hosted
a Super Bowl party. I had you know, sixty seventy
people at the house, and I watched maybe twenty five
(08:48):
seconds of the game. I rather, I just enjoyed having
people over and and taking care of them more than
I enjoyed the sports. And finally, what keeps you motivated?
It's mostly money. Um, just the ability to accrue wealth,
hold it over people with less wealth and kind of
dictate their lives and in the way that I see fit.
(09:09):
Because I have so much money, that would be that
would be not it. I'm kidding. What keeps me motivated?
I I get I've gotten some opportunities to work with
UH people who have disabilities with this company called Ability First,
this program called Ability First, and got to teach painting
classes and stuff like that. And seeing them excited about
(09:31):
the guy from Sugar Rush is like the only time
I'm excited to be the guy from sugar Rush. So
doing that getting people excited to like go try cooking
or get excited to try and make some jokes and
be funny, that's exciting to me. Anyway. Those are the
eleven questions with me. Now we're going to get into
(09:52):
some callers, but before we do that, we're gonna say
a quick break. Welcome back. I hope you guys bought
all those products. Let's go ahead and talk to our
first caller. Hi, how's it going good? How are you?
(10:13):
I'm fantastic, is it, Mara? Yes? It is all right, Maura. Well,
I'd like to hear more of you right now. So
what's your question? Okay? So, um I am born and
raised in southern California and I have loved growing up here.
It's very beautiful, but um in l A unfortunately, UM
(10:34):
I feel like, especially with like social media, like it's
really hard to find someone who's not like looking for
the best, shiniest, most perfect person. Which brings me to
my question, Um, Like, I mean in l A, where
there's like actresses and models and Instagram influencers, how does
(10:55):
a normal girl who is an in the industry stand out?
It's a great question because one, I don't think it's
as valid as as some people fear, you know, like
there are is much as l A is known for
the glitz and glamour, the people here are still you know,
(11:20):
like I consider myself one of those normal people, Like
I don't consider myself I don't go out to the
parties or the clubs. I don't meet people that way. Um,
when what have I what have I been doing to
meet people? So what are you saying? Are you do
you want to know how to meet people or how
to stand out at Do you already like go to
places and you just want to stand out at those places? Um?
(11:44):
I guess a little bit of both, a little bit
of both, but especially I think, um, I just feel
like I don't stand out. I just feel like I
can't compare it to these like women I don't know. Well,
first of all, these women can't even compare to themselves,
you know, like the Instagram look and the TikTok and
(12:04):
obviously when they're on TV and in the movies or whatever,
if there musicians, it's it's so much is put into
building an image that really isn't them, and I think
they obviously are aware of that. And then in the
same with men, they all kind of put this image up.
But what a lot of people don't realize is like
(12:26):
that goes away and then you are stuck with the
real person. And if the real person is great, whether
it's um, someone who's really smart or really funny or
just really genuine. I love authenticity in a partner almost
more than I love anything else. Um, you you'll stand
out to the right person. Undoubtedly. The thing that happens
(12:51):
in l A is, and it happens with men and women.
They come to l A looking for something better than themselves, right,
because a lot of people who come to l A
want something. They want to be famous or successful, and
if they don't have that yet, they do anything to
elevate their status. But at some point you meet a
(13:11):
guy or a woman who isn't who doesn't need to
like date somebody or do something for the cloud for
lack of a less disgusting word, And you mean someone
who's ready to meet someone genuine And I'm at that
stage in my life now where, um, I don't need
to date someone in the industry by any means. I
would love to date somebody who I met getting coffee
(13:34):
who had nothing to do with this industry. And ah,
just made me laugh. That's it. So you know, I'm
still single, so I think we're probably in the same
boat more. I don't know if that answers your question.
It does. Actually, that made me feel a lot better, um,
because you're I mean, I'm at the end of the day,
I'm looking for authenticity too, So yeah, I mean I
would actually, you know, just kind of be thankful that
(13:58):
you haven't gotten stuck with one of the guys who's
you know, like I always the one thing I would
not want for one of my friends or families for
them to be with somebody who, especially like in l
A where they're just in it for the wrong reasons.
It's so common, um, And I think like you, being
single and obviously being aware of this industry in this
(14:19):
world means You're already leaps and bounds above a lot
of other people who come here, so I think you'll
find the right person for sure, just a matter of
In terms of meeting people. I love going to some
of these, like group classes and stuff like that, whether
it's painting or cooking or even workout classes. Sometimes it's
(14:41):
odd to go up to somebody, but if you if
you here's the thing. If a guy's single and you're
single and there's an attraction, all you have to do
is look at him twice and he'll come up to
if he if he wants to. You know, it's not
about the big aggressive move, but um, you can or
you just go up to me whatever you want. But yeah, anyway,
I hope that helps much. I love that it really did.
(15:02):
Thank you so much. Now you're welcome. Thank you all right,
Bye bye, Hilarissa, Hi Hunter, how's it going. Everything's good.
I hear you have a question. I do so obviously,
with the state of the world over the past two years,
(15:23):
I haven't had many dating opportunities, so I'm ready to
get back in there, you know. But nowadays I really
don't know how the game is played, and I really
don't want to play games anymore so. Growing up, I
was taught to play hard to get, so you know,
that was supposed to keep a guy's attention or keep
(15:45):
his interest. And I kind of feel like that's the
wrong kind of attention these days, and it brings the
wrong kind of men, Like is this still a thing?
Like how much hard to get do you play? What
if you're tired of playing games? What are the rules
in twenties one? You too? And what's the best way
to date? Yeah? I wish that I was smarter so
(16:07):
that I didn't fall for the hard to get thing
all the time. But boy, oh boy, when a girl
is hard to get, my monkey brain turns on and
I am I it does affect it. But then eventually,
hard to get means that at some point you still
have the chance of getting to the point of a relationship,
right do you get past the games? And if I
(16:30):
wasn't gonna like in the beginning when you weren't playing
hard to get, I'm not gonna like you after we're
done playing hard to get? You know? So I think
like it does work unfortunately on a lot of guys
and on women too, Like I've played it accidentally, just
in times where like I started talking to a girl
and it just happened to be the busiest two weeks
of my life. And and then afterwards we'll be talking.
(16:52):
She's like, I really thought you didn't like me, like
I thought, And I was like, no, no, no no, no,
I was busy, but I understood that it is attracted
of um to be busy. And I think that that's
the difference. You shouldn't be hard to get. To be
hard to get, you should be prioritizing yourself and your
job and your hobbies and your friends and your family
(17:13):
before any guy can come into your life and destruct
any of that. And when you are doing that, you're
not playing hard to get. You just are a little
harder to get. But it's all while just again making
sure that you are putting you first in the healthiest
way possible. UM. I think the better way to look
at it would be like, look at the antithesis of that,
(17:35):
which should be to just be constantly available for virtually
a stranger. Doesn't matter if you've got a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten, dates,
that person is still a stranger for the most part. UM,
So you know, it's not about again, it's not about games,
but everybody likes someone who's who's working on them. Everybody
(17:56):
likes somebody who's busy, successful, career driven in so that
I hope that answers that question about that. But in
terms of the other games of of of dating right now,
I think people are a little tired of games. I
think we've been in a pandemic for too long where
if you don't like games, now it's kind of the
chance to date because people just want to cut to
(18:19):
the to the meat of a relationship and kind of
have somebody, especially if we've been single for the past,
you know, two years of isolation. Yes, is that you've
been single for the pandemic or did you have someone
to so you at this point? What are you looking for? Mostly?
(18:39):
I mean just something that can start off as a
good strong friendship, good common interests, and something that has
the opportunity to blossom into more, but without the uncertainty
like is this person really into me? Am I wasting
my time? Like I understand what you were saying about
prioritizing yourself and I totally agree with that, um, but
(19:00):
you also want to know like this that we're both
on the same page and we're both moving forward and
we're open to more, but taking it slow and also
knowing where we're going as opposed to being totally confused
on what's going on. Yeah, I think having the conversation again,
it doesn't negate the hard to get It doesn't. It
(19:23):
doesn't stop like that when you have that conversation. I
was talking to a girl recently and I was I
liked her, and I told her on the phone because
we were both really busy. She went back to New York.
I was in l A And on the phone, I
just was kind of like, you know, it's nice talking
to you. I enjoy it because I got a little crush.
(19:44):
You know, saying you have a little crush is and
isn't a bad thing. Again, It's it's not like I
want you to date me. I'm gonna take over your life.
It's not that. You know, you can still put those
little signs out there. And I think when you put
those little signs out there, if you're being really really objective,
(20:05):
you know what signs you get back. There are times
where some guy will say something and you're like, what
was that. Does that means that mean he's into me?
Or does that mean he's not into me, and usually
if you have to really ask, it means he's not
giving you what you're given him. Yeah, you know, like
in my mind, a guy and a woman both should
make it somewhat known after the second, third, fourth, fifth
(20:29):
date that there's interest. Otherwise you wouldn't be going on
these dates. You know, you wouldn't be on the fifth
date if you weren't into them. So you know, again,
it's not about jump in the line and basically saying
I love you or you know, on date two. But
you can let him know and see what his responses.
Just say something like I enjoy spend time with you,
(20:49):
because that could be anything. But if he goes yeah,
you're like it's like my sister, you know, you're like,
all right, I'm out of here. But if he goes,
I jest, I want to spend more time with you.
Then hopefully that calms that anxiety that we all get
when we date, you know, like do they like me
as much as I like them? Blah blah blah. So
I think I think there's little ways to do it
(21:11):
with where you're not putting it all on the table,
and it's like doing little litmus tests and seeing if
if their feedback gives you the answers you're looking for. Absolutely,
that's great advice. Thank you, You're welcome. Everybody's saying it's
great advice, which makes me wonder if you were told
to say it's great advice at the end of each
of these calls. And that laugh makes me think that
that's the case, that was genuine. Okay, well, thank you, Leisa.
(21:35):
Uh let me know how it goes damn me afterwards.
I'm ready to put it to the test. All right,
nice bye bye. Hi Stephanie, Hi are you? I'm good.
I love your voice. Thank you. I think like just
being separated by the zoom and only hearing the voice.
(21:56):
I'm painting the most stunning image of like you and
where you are. It's like buy a fire somewhere and
in there's snow outside. I don't know why I envisioned
that very cozy thoughts. Yes, yeah, well Stephanie, what can
I answer for you? Well, um, so I was hanging
out with my boyfriend last night and mind then to
(22:19):
everything I said earlier, I mean you can still have
that thought, all right. Um. We were hanging out and
he got a couple of text messages from a group message,
which he's in a few groups, so it wasn't strange
or anything, but I did ask him what group it was,
and he said it was a bunch of his guy friends.
They have a group message where they message each other
(22:39):
about relationships, stuff like problems in their relationship or positives
in their relationship. They basically just ask each other a
bunch of advice. And I thought, wow, like, do you
guys really do this? Is this more than just these
guys or like I know, with my girlfriends, I text
each one of them and we over text and over
share and all that stuff. But me curious and a
(23:01):
little fascinated on the subject of do guys have group
messages like this? Is it something I should worry about
what he's sharing? Is the over sharing her personal details?
Or is it just quote unquote lacker room talk or
something like that. Or Yeah, it's tough for me to
know because I unless you're dating the most emotionally intelligent,
(23:26):
vulnerable straight man on the planet and all of his
friends are that guy as well, it's not the same
conversations you're having with your girlfriends. Yeah, um, I think
I've had those conversations, but like one on one with
a guy friend, and I've like been very vulnerable where
(23:48):
I'm like, I don't like this feeling at all about
telling him something that I'm dealing with. It makes me
uncomfortable and I just need someone to talk to. But
I'm not sending that in a group chat, and I
don't think he is either, Like I don't think he's
saying anything that you should necessarily worry about. But I
think he may have powdered and put some lipstick on
(24:09):
that group chat so that it didn't sound as probably
a crude as it might be with his friends. More so,
maybe his single friends or um other people kind of
talking about that stuff, Like I don't know. I mean, again,
I don't know your boyfriend. Maybe he is that guy,
but he's really nice and he's really sweet, Like we
(24:31):
have great communication, he's my best friend. We talked about
a lot of stuff, so you know, I can't imagine
something he would reach out to a bunch of his
guys friends for that would be like, I don't know
something big, I don't know. This is why I'm calling
in really, because we can talk about a lot of things.
And who would you ask a panel of five of
(24:52):
your friends, like what would you ask them about, unless
it was something funny or unless I like, was weak
or you know, something like that. But then I wonder,
is it that deep? Do they do? You all have
these deep connections and these similar issues that you deal
within relationships that you seek out a panel of your
closest buddies. I just I think it's funny that I'm
(25:18):
imagining him and his five friends sitting on shares on
the view talking and having a show doing it, and
it's just not the view. What they're talking about is
not in my mind. Again, I could be wrong, but
I think it's probably closer to locker room talk. I
don't think again, if you have that was my next question,
Do you guys have a good open dialogue? And if
the answers yes, what you said it is, then I
(25:40):
don't think you have anything to worry about. I think
men go to their friends and put a male spin
on the conversation, whether it becomes again a little bit
less vulnerable maybe instead of being like, oh, she hurt
me because she didn't uh say that she liked my outfit, whatever,
they might come to their friends and be like, you
(26:01):
like this, look right, yeah, step says she hated it.
And I was like, what the you know, it's like
guys talk like that to their friends that they don't
have to admit that. Like, oh, it hurt me when
she said this. As long as he's not like reaching
out and being like this crazy woman that I'm with,
she's ridiculous because I mean, I know he's not. He
and I, like I said, we talked about everything. We
(26:21):
joke a lot. Um yeah, that's what I'm picturing, is
like she yelled at me for wearing another plaid shirt
or something. Just all you have to do is go
into his phone and search in his messages for crazy
girl and plaid shirt and you'll know pretty quick. Um yeah.
I mean you can always ask him like hey, you
just be really vulnerable with him. Again. I love vulnerability
(26:43):
and relationship because it gives the other person nowhere to
go besides the truth, right, Like if you if you
kind of came out of in an accusatory way or
from a place of just like mistrust, it's different than
being than going to him and saying, hey, by the way,
Ever since you said the thing about the group chat,
it's been on my mind and I just I'm like
(27:07):
a little nervous that like, I don't know why, and
maybe it's maybe I'm being a little um, a little cuckoo,
but it's just been on my mind. See what he says,
Because if it was me and the group chat really
had nothing bad about my partner, I would say, take
a look at the group chat whatever you want. Yeah,
it struck me that it was like we talk about
(27:28):
our relationships, and I was like, the hell do you
talk about literally Yeah, I mean, did you ask him
to see it? I mean no, when if I did,
he would probably absolutely show it to me. But I
also we provide each other with space for growth, and
if he wants to have privacy with his guy friends, like,
that's cool. But I don't know. I just can see
us all at a party coming up, you know, and
(27:49):
and all of us girls seeing around and me being like,
oh my god, they have this group message, and I
just don't want to be confronted by anything surprising. And
I also don't want to be in a situation with
all these friends where I'm like, oh, you know about
my private parts or oh you know about like all
of this. And I'm sure that they do know some
of those things, but I was just curious to know
(28:11):
if it was a common thing for guys to have
group messages like this, well, again, this is just personal experience.
But if it was with a girl that I actually
really liked, that like my family and friends had met,
if my friends know the girl, I never share details
about our personal life like that, like anything about private
parts or sex capades or whatever it is like that
(28:33):
just that doesn't come up because it's so private. But
if if I just got back from a trip to
New York and I come back and talk to my
friends with without showing them a picture of telling them
a name, I will share those details a little bit
more the way guys do. So as a girl friend
who seems to be with a great guy, and you
seem to be a great girl, I don't think you
have anything to worry about. I don't think he's sharing
(28:54):
those details hopefully, But again, you can always ask, because
if he is, that is an invasion of your privacy
and it'll just lead to mistrust and it's not it's
not fair to you, So feel free to ask a question.
But I also think if you trust him, you don't
even have to worry about it. Well, thank you, that's
a really great advice. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Enjoy
the rest of your day, Stephanie. Enjoy that fireplace on
(29:16):
that bear skin rug um in the mountains with my cocoa.
Get out of your stuff. You're distracting all right. Bye? Bye.
Hi Sassia, Hi, how are you good? How are you today?
I'm good? What's uh? What's your question? So? I have
(29:39):
a large group of friends, and I guess we're just,
you know, pretty closely acquainted, knowing each other from college.
So I mean, we have our own opinions about one another,
and we have a couple in particular, they've been through
a lot of ups and downs. So I am a
little concerned for their relationship. It just doesn't seemed to
(30:00):
be going well. It feels like it's time for them
to go their separate ways. But I just don't know
how to approach this. Um. Yeah, it's really toxic as
far as their relationship goes. And I just don't even
know how to start this conversation with them. Are you
closer with either of them? I'm probably closer with her.
(30:21):
She's like we knew each other before we met. She
met him and started dating him. And have you talked
to be honest right now, Stacie, have you talked to
any of the other girls or guys in the group
about this toxic relationship. Um, there's definitely been some talks
with uh, you know, amongst most of us. Uh, just none,
(30:43):
None of us have really approached this with them, and
we just feel like, you know, they're always walking on
egg shells. One day they're perfectly fine, the other day
they're in a heated argument. The consensus what's your friend's
consensus on whether or not you should say, we have
all kind of come to the conclusion and one of
us need to step up and definitely have this this
(31:05):
conversation with them and just make it known to them
like that this is not a way to have a relationship.
There's probably a better out there for them both to
to just have a healthy relationship with Yeah, I mean,
I think it would not be a bad thing to do,
especially if if there is like a consensus among the
(31:27):
friend group. Not bringing that up obviously because you don't
want them to know that, you know, you kind of
speaking behind their back, even if it is for their
best intentions. But if maybe you went to the girl
privately obviously not to the couple as a whole and
said like, hey, are you happy with so and so
are you and maybe trying to see if they'll come
(31:49):
to you first and open up to you first before
you bring it to them, you know, so it doesn't
seem like you are kind of instigating, uh, a tricky conversation.
So if you went to them and you said, how's
everything was, so and so I noticed you guys weren't
talking really at the last event, or I noticed that
(32:10):
you didn't come to this thing. Is everything okay? And
maybe if you put out the energy like hey, I
want to help you, if that person wants to be helped,
I think they'll they'll pick up on that energy and
they will go ahead and do the right thing and
and have a conversation with you. But some people are
so stuck in their own bubble or they're embarrassed. A
(32:31):
lot of people are embarrassed by unhealthy relationships and then
they'll never bring it up because it's almost like admitting
that they've failed. Like some people feel like if they're
in an unhealthy relationship that they've failed, which is obviously
not the case. Um So if that's the case, if
they're not giving, if she's not giving, you anything you
want in terms of a response or an openness to
talk about it. You can just say, by the way,
(32:53):
I have seen this and this behavior, and I just
want to let you know that I think you deserve better,
whatever however you want to phrase it. But I don't
think that's a conversation that you should avoid having because
it could be the light bulb switch that they need
to be like, oh my god, I'm not crazy for
thinking that I was in this thing. And how come
(33:14):
none of my friends have mentioned it? Do they all
think that this relationship is better than it is? Am
I the one who's wrong here? There's that opportunity, there's
that potential too, So I think you should have the conversation. Yeah,
for sure, she's definitely want to isolate herself whenever she
becomes angry with him and they're in an argument. So
(33:36):
I definitely sense that, and I think when, like I
bring it up to her, it will be in that
moment just like, hey, you feel this way right now,
so you know this is clearly not a healthy relationship.
I think there's plenty of other people you could you
could be dating right now that will treat you well.
You're not walking on eggshells, feeling like everything you say
is avoiding an argument with him, So definitely something to
(34:01):
to bring up. I wish you the best luck with it.
I think you seem like a great friend who cares
about another person, and well that might seem obvious to you,
it is a very special quality to have a friend
too would put your happiness before their own comfort, because
there are a lot of friends out there who don't
say anything because they don't want to be uncomfortable. So
(34:24):
what you're doing is not only okay. I think it's
the right thing to do, and I wish you the
best of luck. Thank you, You're welcome, good luck. Let
me know how it goes. Yeah, definitely will be in touch,
all right, bye bye, All right. Well, first of all,
(34:48):
thank you to everybody who called in. I had a
pleasure talking to you and I hope it helped. If
you guys enjoyed listening to the podcast, make sure to subscribe.
How men think it's a fantastic show. I hope to
come back soon, and of course go listen to This
is Paris with myself in Paris Hilton she If you
also know who she is, then get off from under
(35:08):
your rock. People, everybody knows who she is, and of
course watch Nightly Pop on Monday through Thursday somewhere around
eleven o'clock. They keep changing it, and of course follow
me on Instagram let me know if you enjoyed the episode.
I'd love to chat. If you have questions, you can
DMN me and uh maybe next time I come on
I'll answer them. But have a lovely day everybody. Bye.
(35:29):
This is how men think. An I Heart Radio London
audio production. Listen each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts
We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
is how Men thick and I heard radio podcast. Hi guys,
some Hunter March and you're listening to How Men Think,
where basically I'm going to unveil what I can without
being excommunicated by my people's you know what though, honestly,
(00:21):
I don't really care about them. Men are the worst,
right So I'm gonna give you all the down and
dirty secrets. If you guys don't know who I am.
I host a show on e called Nightly Pop and
I host a show on Netflix called Sugar Rush. So
I hope you uh enjoy this episode. I'm looking forward
to answering your questions. But before I do that, let
(00:42):
me do eleven questions about myself. So the first one
is what are you known for? Tell us about yourself. Um, well,
besides those two shows, I think I'm known for my
breakfast skillets. It's something that I've made for quite a
few people. So women, some very lucky women, have stayed
(01:02):
the night. We'll start this off right now with this stand.
The night's a tricky one. I am. I have a
king bed for this reason. I don't want to really
be touching in the evening. And it's not because I
don't like the person, It's it's the opposite. I like
them so much that it's going to distract me from sleeping.
(01:22):
Let's get into the next one. Who are you in
your personal life? But what a lot of people don't
know about me is that outside of my personality on
television and in my podcast with Paris Hilton, this is Paris.
Uh what I didn't know. What people don't know about
me is that I'm pretty reserved, like in my personal
(01:45):
life and and I deal with you know, the same
anxiety and other things that a lot of people deal it.
But I have used my humor and everything to kind
of compensate. And uh So, so if you really get
to know me in my personal life, it's still funny
and it's still jokes, but you realize that it's there's
(02:06):
also a deeper side of me where I like to
cook and paint and garden. Um And if you're watching
the video, you can see some of my paintings behind me,
So go check that out. Uh. Three shows that I'm
binge watching right now, I'm binge watching Get Back the
Beatles documentary on Disney Plus. I just I've never seen
(02:27):
such brilliant people collaborate in such a cool way. And
as someone who's starting my own YouTube channel back up
and I have hired somebody and we're collaborating every day.
I literally showed my employee. I was like, this is
what I want us to be like it is like
the Beatles, which I realized I'm asking this young guy
who I started working with a week ago. I'm like,
how come you're not my lenin right now? But I,
(02:52):
uh yeah, that's I'm binge watching that. I'm also binge
watching um Attack on Titan, which is an anime show
I don't never watch. May my brother was like, you
should check it out. My brother likes anime and I
watched it and it's really good. It's an intense show,
but it's good. And then the final thing that I'm
binge watching is um a lot of YouTube. I'm getting
(03:14):
back into YouTube right now, so I watch a lot
of YouTube videos. I love YouTube. It's how I started
in this industry. And um, yeah, what is my favorite food? Well,
I already mentioned breakfast skillets and that would be my
favorite food. I love all breakfast. I just started doing
a it's a very French way of of scrambling eggs.
But basically you do a super slow scramble in butter,
(03:37):
like the eggs should barely be cooking as you're whisking
them slowly. Let me do this seductively, whisk those eggs
so slowly. Not with a whisk. Instead, take a small spatula,
a spoon even, and just slowly push it around the pan,
letting the butter seep into every crevice of those runny,
(03:57):
runny eggs. Then, is it's cooking up, don't add the
salt yet, Get your hand off the salt. We're gonna
place that over a nice piece of sour dough that's
got a thin layer of butter on it. Butter's your friend,
not your enemy. Then we're gonna top it with chopped
chives and thinly sliced smoked salmon chopped up as well,
and then we're gonna add ourselves a finishing flake salt,
(04:20):
a little bit of pepper, and a dash of olive
oil on top. Oh my god, I'm trying so hard. Um,
all right, let's let's move on. But that that is
an enjoyable food for me, right now. Tell us about
your career. Well, I'm very lucky with my career I've been.
I started as an intern for this company called Awesome's TV,
(04:42):
which was a YouTube channel, and I had my own
little YouTube channel, but you know, it wasn't anything that
was paying any bills. And when I got the job
at Awesomeness, I just grinded and grinded for like five, six,
seven years and eventually became the face of the channel.
And then I was hosting, probably hosted thousands of videos
for them, and I told myself, I was like, Oh,
wouldn't it be cool to be on TV? And then
I got a game show network show, and then all
(05:05):
my friends were all I was like, you guy should
watch this show. And they're like, we don't have cable
and I was like, okay, that makes it hard to
watch the show. Neither did I at the time, so
I couldn't even watch my own show. And then Netflix
called Netflix, was like, we want you to do this
baking show called Sure Rush, and I was like absolutely.
Did not tell them that I was gluten intolerant until
season three, um, and then uh, that only shot for
(05:27):
a couple of weeks a year, and then we were done.
I said, how cool would it be to get a
show that I could shoot every day, and then Nightly
Pop came around, which we shoot four days week and
it's been a dream. And we're about to hit episode
five hundred of that show, which is just so rare
and television. I'm so blessed my entire career. I'm very
thankful for. And uh, yeah, what's my biggest fear in life? Um,
(05:50):
it's it's between two different things I really don't like, uh,
the idea of bones breaking, Like I don't want to
get hurt. I hate getting hurt. It sucks. And then
the second one is dying alone. No, if you are
just experiencing who I am as a person right now,
and this these eleven questions are your intro. Oh boy,
(06:13):
I'm sorry this is an aggressive intro. What is your
biggest pet? Peeve? My biggest I hate when people don't
say thank you, just be appreciative. It's so easy to
say thank you. I say thank you like it's you know,
candy on Halloween. I give it to everybody. I don't care, like,
(06:34):
thank you for so simple. Someone holds a door if like,
a guy holds a door open for me on my
way into Starbucks, and I'm like more than five feet away.
I literally look at dead in the Hind I go,
thank you so much, man, that was nice, just because
I just think and so like, if I ever take
a girl out to dinner, I don't mind. I always
love paying. I I believe in that I should pay
(06:56):
just because I asked a person on a date. Um,
if they don't say thank you, it just it rubs
me the wrong way. It's it's last date. Um. What
makes you the most happy? I think making my family
laugh makes me the most happy. You know. I think
(07:18):
getting to do what I do. I get the chance
to try and joke around for a lot of people,
and luckily I get to do it day and day out.
But there's nothing like seeing my dad or my mom laugh,
or my brother laugh a lot at something. It really
makes me happy. What is your ideal Saturday morning? UM?
Ideal Saturday morning would be waking up already off to
(07:43):
a good start, better than it could have been. Um.
Then making a really yummy breakfast, hanging out with my
dog Lucy, taking her on a walk, doing a workout,
but preferably playing a sport like paddle, tennis or basketball,
all in the backyard. Something to just get the left flowing,
and then again hanging out with friends I love and
(08:05):
going to the beach or doing something. Yeah, and work,
I do love work. I'm very lucky that I like
my job, so i'd get some editing done or some producing.
Are you more of the athlete or the armschare quarterback?
The thing is neither. Really, I'm athletic, but nobody's calling
(08:26):
me saying, hunter, we need a fifth on the on
the court. It's just not happening. I'm good, I've played
sports my whole life, but I'm not that good. And
then the armshair quarterback. Now, I don't care about other
grown men. I don't get invested like that. I hosted
a Super Bowl party. I had you know, sixty seventy
people at the house, and I watched maybe twenty five
(08:48):
seconds of the game. I rather, I just enjoyed having
people over and and taking care of them more than
I enjoyed the sports. And finally, what keeps you motivated?
It's mostly money. Um, just the ability to accrue wealth,
hold it over people with less wealth and kind of
dictate their lives and in the way that I see fit.
(09:09):
Because I have so much money, that would be that
would be not it. I'm kidding. What keeps me motivated?
I I get I've gotten some opportunities to work with
UH people who have disabilities with this company called Ability First,
this program called Ability First, and got to teach painting
classes and stuff like that. And seeing them excited about
(09:31):
the guy from Sugar Rush is like the only time
I'm excited to be the guy from sugar Rush. So
doing that getting people excited to like go try cooking
or get excited to try and make some jokes and
be funny, that's exciting to me. Anyway. Those are the
eleven questions with me. Now we're going to get into
(09:52):
some callers, but before we do that, we're gonna say
a quick break. Welcome back. I hope you guys bought
all those products. Let's go ahead and talk to our
first caller. Hi, how's it going good? How are you?
(10:13):
I'm fantastic, is it, Mara? Yes? It is all right, Maura. Well,
I'd like to hear more of you right now. So
what's your question? Okay? So, um I am born and
raised in southern California and I have loved growing up here.
It's very beautiful, but um in l A unfortunately, UM
(10:34):
I feel like, especially with like social media, like it's
really hard to find someone who's not like looking for
the best, shiniest, most perfect person. Which brings me to
my question, Um, Like, I mean in l A, where
there's like actresses and models and Instagram influencers, how does
(10:55):
a normal girl who is an in the industry stand out?
It's a great question because one, I don't think it's
as valid as as some people fear, you know, like
there are is much as l A is known for
the glitz and glamour, the people here are still you know,
(11:20):
like I consider myself one of those normal people, Like
I don't consider myself I don't go out to the
parties or the clubs. I don't meet people that way. Um,
when what have I what have I been doing to
meet people? So what are you saying? Are you do
you want to know how to meet people or how
to stand out at Do you already like go to
places and you just want to stand out at those places? Um?
(11:44):
I guess a little bit of both, a little bit
of both, but especially I think, um, I just feel
like I don't stand out. I just feel like I
can't compare it to these like women I don't know. Well,
first of all, these women can't even compare to themselves,
you know, like the Instagram look and the TikTok and
(12:04):
obviously when they're on TV and in the movies or whatever,
if there musicians, it's it's so much is put into
building an image that really isn't them, and I think
they obviously are aware of that. And then in the
same with men, they all kind of put this image up.
But what a lot of people don't realize is like
(12:26):
that goes away and then you are stuck with the
real person. And if the real person is great, whether
it's um, someone who's really smart or really funny or
just really genuine. I love authenticity in a partner almost
more than I love anything else. Um, you you'll stand
out to the right person. Undoubtedly. The thing that happens
(12:51):
in l A is, and it happens with men and women.
They come to l A looking for something better than themselves, right,
because a lot of people who come to l A
want something. They want to be famous or successful, and
if they don't have that yet, they do anything to
elevate their status. But at some point you meet a
(13:11):
guy or a woman who isn't who doesn't need to
like date somebody or do something for the cloud for
lack of a less disgusting word, And you mean someone
who's ready to meet someone genuine And I'm at that
stage in my life now where, um, I don't need
to date someone in the industry by any means. I
would love to date somebody who I met getting coffee
(13:34):
who had nothing to do with this industry. And ah,
just made me laugh. That's it. So you know, I'm
still single, so I think we're probably in the same
boat more. I don't know if that answers your question.
It does. Actually, that made me feel a lot better, um,
because you're I mean, I'm at the end of the day,
I'm looking for authenticity too, So yeah, I mean I
would actually, you know, just kind of be thankful that
(13:58):
you haven't gotten stuck with one of the guys who's
you know, like I always the one thing I would
not want for one of my friends or families for
them to be with somebody who, especially like in l
A where they're just in it for the wrong reasons.
It's so common, um, And I think like you, being
single and obviously being aware of this industry in this
(14:19):
world means You're already leaps and bounds above a lot
of other people who come here, so I think you'll
find the right person for sure, just a matter of
In terms of meeting people. I love going to some
of these, like group classes and stuff like that, whether
it's painting or cooking or even workout classes. Sometimes it's
(14:41):
odd to go up to somebody, but if you if
you here's the thing. If a guy's single and you're
single and there's an attraction, all you have to do
is look at him twice and he'll come up to
if he if he wants to. You know, it's not
about the big aggressive move, but um, you can or
you just go up to me whatever you want. But yeah, anyway,
I hope that helps much. I love that it really did.
(15:02):
Thank you so much. Now you're welcome. Thank you all right,
Bye bye, Hilarissa, Hi Hunter, how's it going. Everything's good.
I hear you have a question. I do so obviously,
with the state of the world over the past two years,
(15:23):
I haven't had many dating opportunities, so I'm ready to
get back in there, you know. But nowadays I really
don't know how the game is played, and I really
don't want to play games anymore so. Growing up, I
was taught to play hard to get, so you know,
that was supposed to keep a guy's attention or keep
(15:45):
his interest. And I kind of feel like that's the
wrong kind of attention these days, and it brings the
wrong kind of men, Like is this still a thing?
Like how much hard to get do you play? What
if you're tired of playing games? What are the rules
in twenties one? You too? And what's the best way
to date? Yeah? I wish that I was smarter so
(16:07):
that I didn't fall for the hard to get thing
all the time. But boy, oh boy, when a girl
is hard to get, my monkey brain turns on and
I am I it does affect it. But then eventually,
hard to get means that at some point you still
have the chance of getting to the point of a relationship,
right do you get past the games? And if I
(16:30):
wasn't gonna like in the beginning when you weren't playing
hard to get, I'm not gonna like you after we're
done playing hard to get? You know? So I think
like it does work unfortunately on a lot of guys
and on women too, Like I've played it accidentally, just
in times where like I started talking to a girl
and it just happened to be the busiest two weeks
of my life. And and then afterwards we'll be talking.
(16:52):
She's like, I really thought you didn't like me, like
I thought, And I was like, no, no, no no, no,
I was busy, but I understood that it is attracted
of um to be busy. And I think that that's
the difference. You shouldn't be hard to get. To be
hard to get, you should be prioritizing yourself and your
job and your hobbies and your friends and your family
(17:13):
before any guy can come into your life and destruct
any of that. And when you are doing that, you're
not playing hard to get. You just are a little
harder to get. But it's all while just again making
sure that you are putting you first in the healthiest
way possible. UM. I think the better way to look
at it would be like, look at the antithesis of that,
(17:35):
which should be to just be constantly available for virtually
a stranger. Doesn't matter if you've got a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten, dates,
that person is still a stranger for the most part. UM,
So you know, it's not about again, it's not about games,
but everybody likes someone who's who's working on them. Everybody
(17:56):
likes somebody who's busy, successful, career driven in so that
I hope that answers that question about that. But in
terms of the other games of of of dating right now,
I think people are a little tired of games. I
think we've been in a pandemic for too long where
if you don't like games, now it's kind of the
chance to date because people just want to cut to
(18:19):
the to the meat of a relationship and kind of
have somebody, especially if we've been single for the past,
you know, two years of isolation. Yes, is that you've
been single for the pandemic or did you have someone
to so you at this point? What are you looking for? Mostly?
(18:39):
I mean just something that can start off as a
good strong friendship, good common interests, and something that has
the opportunity to blossom into more, but without the uncertainty
like is this person really into me? Am I wasting
my time? Like I understand what you were saying about
prioritizing yourself and I totally agree with that, um, but
(19:00):
you also want to know like this that we're both
on the same page and we're both moving forward and
we're open to more, but taking it slow and also
knowing where we're going as opposed to being totally confused
on what's going on. Yeah, I think having the conversation again,
it doesn't negate the hard to get It doesn't. It
(19:23):
doesn't stop like that when you have that conversation. I
was talking to a girl recently and I was I
liked her, and I told her on the phone because
we were both really busy. She went back to New York.
I was in l A And on the phone, I
just was kind of like, you know, it's nice talking
to you. I enjoy it because I got a little crush.
(19:44):
You know, saying you have a little crush is and
isn't a bad thing. Again, It's it's not like I
want you to date me. I'm gonna take over your life.
It's not that. You know, you can still put those
little signs out there. And I think when you put
those little signs out there, if you're being really really objective,
(20:05):
you know what signs you get back. There are times
where some guy will say something and you're like, what
was that. Does that means that mean he's into me?
Or does that mean he's not into me, and usually
if you have to really ask, it means he's not
giving you what you're given him. Yeah, you know, like
in my mind, a guy and a woman both should
make it somewhat known after the second, third, fourth, fifth
(20:29):
date that there's interest. Otherwise you wouldn't be going on
these dates. You know, you wouldn't be on the fifth
date if you weren't into them. So you know, again,
it's not about jump in the line and basically saying
I love you or you know, on date two. But
you can let him know and see what his responses.
Just say something like I enjoy spend time with you,
(20:49):
because that could be anything. But if he goes yeah,
you're like it's like my sister, you know, you're like,
all right, I'm out of here. But if he goes,
I jest, I want to spend more time with you.
Then hopefully that calms that anxiety that we all get
when we date, you know, like do they like me
as much as I like them? Blah blah blah. So
I think I think there's little ways to do it
(21:11):
with where you're not putting it all on the table,
and it's like doing little litmus tests and seeing if
if their feedback gives you the answers you're looking for. Absolutely,
that's great advice. Thank you, You're welcome. Everybody's saying it's
great advice, which makes me wonder if you were told
to say it's great advice at the end of each
of these calls. And that laugh makes me think that
that's the case, that was genuine. Okay, well, thank you, Leisa.
(21:35):
Uh let me know how it goes damn me afterwards.
I'm ready to put it to the test. All right,
nice bye bye. Hi Stephanie, Hi are you? I'm good.
I love your voice. Thank you. I think like just
being separated by the zoom and only hearing the voice.
(21:56):
I'm painting the most stunning image of like you and
where you are. It's like buy a fire somewhere and
in there's snow outside. I don't know why I envisioned
that very cozy thoughts. Yes, yeah, well Stephanie, what can
I answer for you? Well, um, so I was hanging
out with my boyfriend last night and mind then to
(22:19):
everything I said earlier, I mean you can still have
that thought, all right. Um. We were hanging out and
he got a couple of text messages from a group message,
which he's in a few groups, so it wasn't strange
or anything, but I did ask him what group it was,
and he said it was a bunch of his guy friends.
They have a group message where they message each other
(22:39):
about relationships, stuff like problems in their relationship or positives
in their relationship. They basically just ask each other a
bunch of advice. And I thought, wow, like, do you
guys really do this? Is this more than just these
guys or like I know, with my girlfriends, I text
each one of them and we over text and over
share and all that stuff. But me curious and a
(23:01):
little fascinated on the subject of do guys have group
messages like this? Is it something I should worry about
what he's sharing? Is the over sharing her personal details?
Or is it just quote unquote lacker room talk or
something like that. Or Yeah, it's tough for me to
know because I unless you're dating the most emotionally intelligent,
(23:26):
vulnerable straight man on the planet and all of his
friends are that guy as well, it's not the same
conversations you're having with your girlfriends. Yeah, um, I think
I've had those conversations, but like one on one with
a guy friend, and I've like been very vulnerable where
(23:48):
I'm like, I don't like this feeling at all about
telling him something that I'm dealing with. It makes me
uncomfortable and I just need someone to talk to. But
I'm not sending that in a group chat, and I
don't think he is either, Like I don't think he's
saying anything that you should necessarily worry about. But I
think he may have powdered and put some lipstick on
(24:09):
that group chat so that it didn't sound as probably
a crude as it might be with his friends. More so,
maybe his single friends or um other people kind of
talking about that stuff, Like I don't know. I mean, again,
I don't know your boyfriend. Maybe he is that guy,
but he's really nice and he's really sweet, Like we
(24:31):
have great communication, he's my best friend. We talked about
a lot of stuff, so you know, I can't imagine
something he would reach out to a bunch of his
guys friends for that would be like, I don't know
something big, I don't know. This is why I'm calling
in really, because we can talk about a lot of things.
And who would you ask a panel of five of
(24:52):
your friends, like what would you ask them about, unless
it was something funny or unless I like, was weak
or you know, something like that. But then I wonder,
is it that deep? Do they do? You all have
these deep connections and these similar issues that you deal
within relationships that you seek out a panel of your
closest buddies. I just I think it's funny that I'm
(25:18):
imagining him and his five friends sitting on shares on
the view talking and having a show doing it, and
it's just not the view. What they're talking about is
not in my mind. Again, I could be wrong, but
I think it's probably closer to locker room talk. I
don't think again, if you have that was my next question,
Do you guys have a good open dialogue? And if
the answers yes, what you said it is, then I
(25:40):
don't think you have anything to worry about. I think
men go to their friends and put a male spin
on the conversation, whether it becomes again a little bit
less vulnerable maybe instead of being like, oh, she hurt
me because she didn't uh say that she liked my outfit, whatever,
they might come to their friends and be like, you
(26:01):
like this, look right, yeah, step says she hated it.
And I was like, what the you know, it's like
guys talk like that to their friends that they don't
have to admit that. Like, oh, it hurt me when
she said this. As long as he's not like reaching
out and being like this crazy woman that I'm with,
she's ridiculous because I mean, I know he's not. He
and I, like I said, we talked about everything. We
(26:21):
joke a lot. Um yeah, that's what I'm picturing, is
like she yelled at me for wearing another plaid shirt
or something. Just all you have to do is go
into his phone and search in his messages for crazy
girl and plaid shirt and you'll know pretty quick. Um yeah.
I mean you can always ask him like hey, you
just be really vulnerable with him. Again. I love vulnerability
(26:43):
and relationship because it gives the other person nowhere to
go besides the truth, right, Like if you if you
kind of came out of in an accusatory way or
from a place of just like mistrust, it's different than
being than going to him and saying, hey, by the way,
Ever since you said the thing about the group chat,
it's been on my mind and I just I'm like
(27:07):
a little nervous that like, I don't know why, and
maybe it's maybe I'm being a little um, a little cuckoo,
but it's just been on my mind. See what he says,
Because if it was me and the group chat really
had nothing bad about my partner, I would say, take
a look at the group chat whatever you want. Yeah,
it struck me that it was like we talk about
(27:28):
our relationships, and I was like, the hell do you
talk about literally Yeah, I mean, did you ask him
to see it? I mean no, when if I did,
he would probably absolutely show it to me. But I
also we provide each other with space for growth, and
if he wants to have privacy with his guy friends, like,
that's cool. But I don't know. I just can see
us all at a party coming up, you know, and
(27:49):
and all of us girls seeing around and me being like,
oh my god, they have this group message, and I
just don't want to be confronted by anything surprising. And
I also don't want to be in a situation with
all these friends where I'm like, oh, you know about
my private parts or oh you know about like all
of this. And I'm sure that they do know some
of those things, but I was just curious to know
(28:11):
if it was a common thing for guys to have
group messages like this, well, again, this is just personal experience.
But if it was with a girl that I actually
really liked, that like my family and friends had met,
if my friends know the girl, I never share details
about our personal life like that, like anything about private
parts or sex capades or whatever it is like that
(28:33):
just that doesn't come up because it's so private. But
if if I just got back from a trip to
New York and I come back and talk to my
friends with without showing them a picture of telling them
a name, I will share those details a little bit
more the way guys do. So as a girl friend
who seems to be with a great guy, and you
seem to be a great girl, I don't think you
have anything to worry about. I don't think he's sharing
(28:54):
those details hopefully, But again, you can always ask, because
if he is, that is an invasion of your privacy
and it'll just lead to mistrust and it's not it's
not fair to you, So feel free to ask a question.
But I also think if you trust him, you don't
even have to worry about it. Well, thank you, that's
a really great advice. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Enjoy
the rest of your day, Stephanie. Enjoy that fireplace on
(29:16):
that bear skin rug um in the mountains with my cocoa.
Get out of your stuff. You're distracting all right. Bye? Bye.
Hi Sassia, Hi, how are you good? How are you today?
I'm good? What's uh? What's your question? So? I have
(29:39):
a large group of friends, and I guess we're just,
you know, pretty closely acquainted, knowing each other from college.
So I mean, we have our own opinions about one another,
and we have a couple in particular, they've been through
a lot of ups and downs. So I am a
little concerned for their relationship. It just doesn't seemed to
(30:00):
be going well. It feels like it's time for them
to go their separate ways. But I just don't know
how to approach this. Um. Yeah, it's really toxic as
far as their relationship goes. And I just don't even
know how to start this conversation with them. Are you
closer with either of them? I'm probably closer with her.
(30:21):
She's like we knew each other before we met. She
met him and started dating him. And have you talked
to be honest right now, Stacie, have you talked to
any of the other girls or guys in the group
about this toxic relationship. Um, there's definitely been some talks
with uh, you know, amongst most of us. Uh, just none,
(30:43):
None of us have really approached this with them, and
we just feel like, you know, they're always walking on
egg shells. One day they're perfectly fine, the other day
they're in a heated argument. The consensus what's your friend's
consensus on whether or not you should say, we have
all kind of come to the conclusion and one of
us need to step up and definitely have this this
(31:05):
conversation with them and just make it known to them
like that this is not a way to have a relationship.
There's probably a better out there for them both to
to just have a healthy relationship with Yeah, I mean,
I think it would not be a bad thing to do,
especially if if there is like a consensus among the
(31:27):
friend group. Not bringing that up obviously because you don't
want them to know that, you know, you kind of
speaking behind their back, even if it is for their
best intentions. But if maybe you went to the girl
privately obviously not to the couple as a whole and
said like, hey, are you happy with so and so
are you and maybe trying to see if they'll come
(31:49):
to you first and open up to you first before
you bring it to them, you know, so it doesn't
seem like you are kind of instigating, uh, a tricky conversation.
So if you went to them and you said, how's
everything was, so and so I noticed you guys weren't
talking really at the last event, or I noticed that
(32:10):
you didn't come to this thing. Is everything okay? And
maybe if you put out the energy like hey, I
want to help you, if that person wants to be helped,
I think they'll they'll pick up on that energy and
they will go ahead and do the right thing and
and have a conversation with you. But some people are
so stuck in their own bubble or they're embarrassed. A
(32:31):
lot of people are embarrassed by unhealthy relationships and then
they'll never bring it up because it's almost like admitting
that they've failed. Like some people feel like if they're
in an unhealthy relationship that they've failed, which is obviously
not the case. Um So if that's the case, if
they're not giving, if she's not giving, you anything you
want in terms of a response or an openness to
talk about it. You can just say, by the way,
(32:53):
I have seen this and this behavior, and I just
want to let you know that I think you deserve better,
whatever however you want to phrase it. But I don't
think that's a conversation that you should avoid having because
it could be the light bulb switch that they need
to be like, oh my god, I'm not crazy for
thinking that I was in this thing. And how come
(33:14):
none of my friends have mentioned it? Do they all
think that this relationship is better than it is? Am
I the one who's wrong here? There's that opportunity, there's
that potential too, So I think you should have the conversation. Yeah,
for sure, she's definitely want to isolate herself whenever she
becomes angry with him and they're in an argument. So
(33:36):
I definitely sense that, and I think when, like I
bring it up to her, it will be in that
moment just like, hey, you feel this way right now,
so you know this is clearly not a healthy relationship.
I think there's plenty of other people you could you
could be dating right now that will treat you well.
You're not walking on eggshells, feeling like everything you say
is avoiding an argument with him, So definitely something to
(34:01):
to bring up. I wish you the best luck with it.
I think you seem like a great friend who cares
about another person, and well that might seem obvious to you,
it is a very special quality to have a friend
too would put your happiness before their own comfort, because
there are a lot of friends out there who don't
say anything because they don't want to be uncomfortable. So
(34:24):
what you're doing is not only okay. I think it's
the right thing to do, and I wish you the
best of luck. Thank you, You're welcome, good luck. Let
me know how it goes. Yeah, definitely will be in touch,
all right, bye bye, All right. Well, first of all,
(34:48):
thank you to everybody who called in. I had a
pleasure talking to you and I hope it helped. If
you guys enjoyed listening to the podcast, make sure to subscribe.
How men think it's a fantastic show. I hope to
come back soon, and of course go listen to This
is Paris with myself in Paris Hilton she If you
also know who she is, then get off from under
(35:08):
your rock. People, everybody knows who she is, and of
course watch Nightly Pop on Monday through Thursday somewhere around
eleven o'clock. They keep changing it, and of course follow
me on Instagram let me know if you enjoyed the episode.
I'd love to chat. If you have questions, you can
DMN me and uh maybe next time I come on
I'll answer them. But have a lovely day everybody. Bye.
(35:29):
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