"Captain Video: Part 2" Recap Season 5, Episode 26

Season 5 is ending with a BANG. Not only are we getting a remixed version of "Forever" that requires John Stamos to dance AND rap, but we're also getting "Forever" (Jesse's Version) in the form of an ultra 90's music video. Throw in a therapist moment for Michelle + a dig at Kimmy's "stinky feet" and that's season 5 of Full House, baby. And it's all right here on How Rude, Tanneritos!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hold on, let me pin your little face. I pinned
your little face. There we go. Hi friend, Hello friend,
How are I today? I'm good. I'm good.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
I feel like I can't hear myself in my microphone.
Oh I can hear you play, I can hear you
just fine, Okay, then it's just my Then it's you're like, no,
you're allowed to actually back off.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's the story of my life.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
You know. Maybe you got a clad is probably Yeah,
I definitely. I'm like a month away from my next
anti visit, so I'm sure I can't hear. Okay, I
have to go like every three months. It's really annoying. Yeah,
because I literally will lose my When I went to England,
I scratched my ear and internally something stuck to my
ear drum. I could not hear out of my left

(00:59):
ear the whole trip.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Oh that's so annoying. That's so annoying.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
And it happens all the time. It's happened when I've
been working and I'm like, oh God, please please let
everyone be in blocking beyond my right side.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
So I can we reblock this scene please. Yeah, I'll
be like, oh no, you're on the bad side. Yeah,
but what's the treatment for a damaged ear drum.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
It's not a damaged ear drum. It's just it's like
build up in there. So there's just a little tiny
ear vacuum and suck it out and it feels like
your ear drum's being sucked out of your head. But
then you can hear after, so it's a plus.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
So it's worth it. It's worth it. Is it like
when you're on a plane and your ears get your
ears get clogged from.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
The altitude and then it doesn't Yes, but like worse
because it just you can feel that there's no air
vibration on your ear drum and whatsoever. It's completely blocked off.
So you're like, there is there's nothing. I got nothing?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, you got nothing?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
But maybe that's why I talks a lot. Yeah, let's
I think there's a theory here, that's why you talk.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
I like hearing loss in my on my right side.
I'm going to credit that with my teenage years and
twenties of just sticking my head inside gigantic speakers at
a concert.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
But yeah, I feel like I'm developing here los hear loss,
ear loss, Yes, Yes, the hear loss. In addition hearing loss.
They hear I'm experiencing hear loss. But I don't know
if that's just I'm getting older, or maybe I should
go see an e N T.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Ye go see an ant.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
They stick you in a little booth, a little soundproof box,
and they put headphones on you and then you have
to like push a button if.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
You hear the thing.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Oh, it's like the eye test, but with you it's
like an eye test. But yeah, yeah it's but it's
an ear test. Yeah, because it's for your ears, well,
for your for your ear loss right or.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Your ear loss right.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
You don't want to you gotta use yeah, monoxidyal for
your ear loss. Yeah, anyway, what else is going on
with you?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I'm sweating. It's just I know, we've always talk about
the weather and people.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Oh God, we're sweating, But not for the reasons that
you think. It has nothing to do with our hormones
and has everything to do with the weather.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah it is. It is ninety It's been ninety degrees
out here where I live, and it's just.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Just yeah, no, I don't like it. It does not
give me the Christmas spirit. Although maybe if I were
from Australia.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
It would oh yeah, oh that's you know what I
mean about Christmas in Australia.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
H yeah, so that's it's their summer. So I'm trying
to just be like, Okay, this is.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
What it would be like, we're calls playing Australians.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah. Yeah, well look I hear New Zealand is probably
the only place that's going to survive everything. So so
I'm just trying to prepare myself for the Southern Hemisphere.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
You know, Okay, this is great preparation. This is you know,
drive by the fake snow and the degrations.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Santa's in board shorts. I mean, that's the thing you
hear in LA, Like, I walk into CVS and there's
like a just like four or five Santa's and Missus
Claus in board shorts and bathing suits with beach chairs,
and I'm like, man, that's that's how we do.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
But also Australia. Yeah, oh right, okay, so I'm reframing
my thinking and I'm welcoming the heat because this is
prepping us to be Australians. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I would like to be welcoming the heat if it
weren't for the fact that somewhere deep in my gut.
I know that this should probably not be happening, and
it's rather alarming. This heat, you know what a joint
and you're like, yeah, I'm going to lay out.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
By the pool in the middle of December. That's not good.
That's not good. That's not so supposed to happen. My
plants are very confused. They're happy, but confused because the trees.
The trees are like, am I should I get rid
of these? Should I keep them grow fruit? Or should
I like throw my leaves off? I don't so well,
that's fine, Okay, so that's weather. We were just covered

(04:51):
all the old people.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Getpointments, uh hormones and uh hear.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Loss, you're lost. We were talking about before we started recording.
We were saying how people our fan ritos tend to
enjoy this pre show chatter for some reason. I am,
but we're not. We don't even talk about anything relevant
or important. It's not like we're changing lives here what
we are answered.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I would beg to differ because I think we have
offered important information at times in our pre show chatter
with either random factoids that I throw out or some
sort of you know, uh useful almost said useless medical advice.
But that's probably more accurate. Actually, is probably more accurate
to use medical advice. Yes, or although random even Manny

(05:42):
was saying.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
He was like, I'm cracking up when I edit you guys.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
And he's already, he's already, he's already. I already heard
at least once. Yeah, no, I don't. I laugh when
I listened to the replace too, I'm like, we're insane.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
We're insane. If nothing else, at least we are educating
the masses about menopause, women in middle age and the
things we go through. Oh yeah, you know, we're in it.
We will talk about it. Are in it.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Welcome, We're in it together. You're not a little And
I have a question. Did you take your little microphone
thing off and put it in front of.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
The Okay I did, because I have an I don't
have the My microphone is on an arm. I wish
mine was on an arm. Yeah. This is Michael, Michael,
my audio visual guy, right and my boyfriend. You're living
an audio visual guy live in Yes, we have a
special relationship. I'm not going to go on a tangent
just yet. I'll save that for later.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Okay, mental sticky note the arm for I guess, so.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
It's out of the way. Yeah, it's so much better
than arm.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
But it's so much better, but I have to sit
so weird in my chair to be at the right height.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, so maybe you need an art Hey, I'll send
him over and you can stall over. I got a guy.
I don't need him to stay.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
But but just a couple hours, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
It's just a couple of things I got for my
little how. How doesn't fit because because of the way
the arms, I can't adjust my microphone. It gotch Maybe
we shouldn't be adjusting our microphones anyways, because you have
the ghost mic, you're always muting yourself.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
I'm trying not to touch my mic or look at
it the wrong way.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
You just don't touch it. Just don't. And maybe the
arm wouldn't be good because I feel like I'm always
like moving the arm around.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
This is fascinating conversation. What was the other thing that
I put a mental sticky note on that to come
back to that?

Speaker 1 (07:26):
You were like, oh, wait, we have to come back
to that. It's not very exciting.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
But for the first time, I mean, let's not stop now.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
So Michael and I have been together eleven years. This mom,
Oh my god, is it about eleven years? Eleven years?
I know, it's crazy as for the first time in
eleven years. We talked about getting married last night, but
not like in a serious way. It's because we're talking
about health insurance and like how to afford health insurance
and benefit to being married.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
And I got married for health insurance once.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I don't recommend it, but not kidding.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
It was like coming out and it was like, I mean,
I guess why not yeah, And it was really to get.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Added on insurance, to get added onto the insurance. Okay,
so I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
You wouldn't be the first person and you guys.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Have already been together for eleven years.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Like I think it's that it's just sort of a yeah,
a formality. It would literally be just like but it
does help insurance taxes, Yeah, okay, hey a lot less
in taxes.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
I maybe I should. I don't know. It feels it
feels so unromantic to say, yeah, let's get married for
tax benefits and health insurance benefit.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Is it's not Yeah, it's not exactly the like oh
this is yeah, I just I don't have a desire
to get married, but it's also probably the way more
mature way to get married.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Probably think of, wait, why should I do this and
how does it benefit me? Right?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Well, because it's you know, it's about health, legal contract, and.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
So it's yeah, I don't know, I have I guess
I have a very unromantic view of marriage now.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
And I know, I just think you guys are looking
at it from a pract a who point of view.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
You've lived together forever, you've been together eleven years.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
The only thing you can't do is like make medical decisions.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Right, But I can't. I can't. I have a will
and a trust and write he's named in it. So like, maybe, well, ship.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
You're so yeah, I mean yeah, not going anywhere. You're
true already in some sort of.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Illegal cous in some sort of legal document. It's just
I don't want to go. I just I've never had
the desire to get married again since I got divorced.
Very different you and I be very different our views
on marriage because I was like one and done. I
just don't feel the desire to do it again. But
and I still don't, except for I'm like, well, how
much money could I do have? The desire for cheaper

(09:45):
health insurance. Yes, like only reason i'd want to get
married again.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Look, I am, I'm here to support it. Okay, So
if you need members, if you need a witness, just
let me know. I'll roll with you.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
And hey made me down at the courthouse. Yeah, yeah,
on it.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
I just thought he was her audio visual guy. But
I mean, if they want to get married, sure, I'll
sign off on it.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
You know, like, wow, what kind of services is he present?

Speaker 2 (10:10):
I've heard of those movies? Okay, all right, well keep.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
I'll talk my CPA and see if this is a
worthwhile venture. But I mean your dad, No, I.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Haven't really, not your CPA. Yeah, he's on my CPA.
I got a real CPA and he uh yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
I'm sure he has opinions on this too. I'm sure
he does. My dad would have different opinions, not related
at all to health insurance. He'd just be like, I
always have opinions on stuff. Now they're they're cute. It's okay.
I know my dad's had lots of opinions over the years.
Your dad does he share? Does he share his opinions
with you like Janice? Or does he keep see?

Speaker 2 (10:50):
I think part of the reason that Janie shares so
many of her opinions with me is because my dad
doesn't in my presence, but then when I leave, he's
bitching about whatever it was or the thing, or that
I need to do the thing, or that I'm not
listening about the whatever, and drives my mom bananas. So
then then she's coming at me with the force of

(11:12):
two people.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
You know what I mean, He's a really a double Janis, right,
It's right, it's double Janis because.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
It's like, I got this fool say what he's.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Thinking, and then you leave, and then he's like, you know,
and just has all sorts of opinions. So that's my dad.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
He pretends in the company of other people that everything's fine,
and then.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
I relate to just about I would do that.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
I would do the same thing, you know, I would do,
although there are time.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
When I have Yeah, my dad's been like, that's not
the way it works.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
I'm like, Dad, unless you suddenly became an attorney. I'm
pretty sure that is what the judge said, So I
think that actually is that that goes well.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
I don't think that can be I'm like, I know, yeah,
I want to hear more of Sam's opinions, like I know,
don't they'll get us all. Oh, oh okay, those types
of opinions.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
It does not know. He's just an old, ninety one
year old man. He says things and you hit are
You're just like, oh, you shared that, Although I do
that too, so it's fine.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, I mean that's a generational thing. There's saying like, God,
you can't say that. I think when you get to
ninety one.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
Hell, I'm at forty three, almost forty four, and I
don't care.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
By ninety one you really don't care. No, I'm being intentional.
I can't mind until you're ninety one. I hope we
live till ninety one because I imagine like us, imagine
us as old women.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Listen, I'm gonna be just out of my mind. It's
going to be great.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yes, it's going to be so great. Oh man, I
hope we're still podcasting then because we will have so
many opinions.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
You know what, if we keep going with this pre
show chatter, we might be so what do we get
to the show?

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Excellent segue.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Welcome back to how were You Tannerito's I'm Andrea Barber
and I'm Jody Sweeten, and today we're discussing the last
episode of season five.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
We finally made it suspended.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Season it really most of the year, I feel like
about half the year.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
I means twenty six twenty six weeks plus.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Some change probably maybe thirty two or thirty three to
get through everything.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Have we skipped in it? I don't think we've skipped
I think we release a recap every week except maybe
Christmas Giving or Thanksgiving. No, we released one on Thanksgiving week.
It was on the tour on the Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, but sometimes we don't release a minisode.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
But yeah, twenty six weeks.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
It's a long only fifty two weeks.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
In a year, so that is a good portion of
them over half the year, over half.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
So today we're discussing season five, episode twenty six. Captain
Video Part two. Oh, that's right, left on a cliffhanger.
It was just a stunning cliffhanger. It originally aired May twelfth,
team ninety two, and it goes little something like this.
Jesse faces conflict when a record company asks him to
change his image that fish music. It was directed by Joelswick.

(14:12):
It was written by Dennis Frintzler and Mark Warren. Oh
h which is very appropriate because they take over as
showrunners in season six. We say goodbye to Jeff unfortunately.
So this is sort of like a transition.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, the transition sort of a yeah, a handoff.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
We have three guest stars this week.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Four.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Technically we have Kai Brackett, who plays Richard the Choreographer.
He's a dancer and a choreographer in real life. He
choreographed and performed in Manilo on Broadway in twenty thirteen. Uh,
I've seen Manilo on Broadway. Thank you came out? What
are you serious? You've seen it? Not of my own?

Speaker 2 (14:52):
No, it wasn't what I picked, but it wasn't bad.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Who did you go with that made you see man
Al on Broadway?

Speaker 2 (14:58):
Morty, come on, Oh yeah, I mean I should have guessed, yeah,
but no, we went.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
We went and saw it and I was like, Manilo,
I don't know, it was good.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
It was he was amazing that you know, oh man,
and he put on a hell of a show.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
I mean it looks like a wax figure, but he's
very very talented, very talented. Well good for him and
all of the songs you say. I was like, oh damn,
that was Barry Manilo. Yeah, he didn't.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Actually, it was one of those things where you're like, huh,
I actually liked Barry man alone.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
I didn't know it. Okay, okay, well that's good to
hear anyway, Good for this guy. Pleasantly surprised and I'm
sure you were just blown away by Kai Brackett's performance
in this stage show. That was why I went. Wait,
that's the only reason he went, just to see him.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah, Barry Manilo.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
And then more recently in twenty twenty three, Kai was
involved with Barry Manilow's a very Verry Christmas. I love it.
You get him with Barry and he takes care of
you for him. He's very loyal. So yes, yes, he's
very loyal. He's very so bad just stupid. I love it.

(16:10):
Bad joke. Okay, love it so much. That's my love language,
bad dad jokes. Brian Robbins returns as David JENNILRII we
have Martha Quinn on the show, playing herself. Behold my
MTV nineties heart, Oh my gosh. Yes. She's best known
as one of the original video jockeys on MTV in

(16:31):
the early nineties. She also hosted the MTV programs, Martha's
Greatest Hits, MTV Prime with Martha Quinn, and rock Line,
and critics have dubbed Quinn's departure from MTV as the
day music video died. Just true. It's very dramatic, but
also true. It's true. I love her so much. This

(16:52):
is her first of three full house episodes. I'm very
excited she's coming back. Yeah, she's coming back. Times we
have Martha Quinn on the show.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
I don't know why she will read obviously because you
just said that, but I wow, Well, I don't know
why she was willing or we're trying to get her
on the show.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
I've sent in my recall, are we YEA? So I
really really hope she comes home. I shall be too,
and she'll be back. For the second I heard her voice,
I was like, Oh, Marthy Quinn, EMTV News, what's happening?
She was goals, man. I admired her so much. I
was just like, wow, Martha Quinn. She returns in season
six for six eleven Designing Mothers and six thirteen The
Dating Game. Don't know what those are about or why

(17:29):
she's involved, but I'm very excited that she's coming back.
And then last, but definitely not least, Garry Griffin returns Uncle.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Gary Gibler, Uncle Gary Gibler, Uncle Gary Gibler.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
All right, so we start, Uh, we start with the
weird teaser. In the living room, Jesse and Michelle are
sitting on the couch and Michelle asks, in a very
meta way, guess what happened last week? Usually hate these things.
I hate these bites.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
I hate these so much, hate because then because it
takes me out of the Yes, it brokes sort of
broke the fourth wall. But it's yeah, I guess, but
this was a nineties thing, right, you had the.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Very nineties thing, Yes, very nineties thing. It's it's well,
I'll share my thoughts after I after I recapped the teaser.
So Jesse replies to her, I don't have to guess.
We're going to show them, and he gestures towards the camera.
Those people that watch us all the time, right, yeah,
the people that are in our walls. Well, it's the
Trimman Show. So then we get highlights from the last

(18:30):
episode showing Jesse's record deal and how they would like
to alter his image. We snap back to reality present day,
and Jesse asks Michelle what's going to happen next? She shrugs,
I can't tell you because I don't know, and Jesse
laughs and leans over to tickle her. Okay, well this,
even though I hate these, it worked better than the

(18:51):
last time Michelle did this because she was alone talking
to the camera. Now it's Jesse and Michelle having a conversation.
It works better with two people than with a five
year old just talking randomly to the camera. It's a
little bit better with two people. Even though I still
don't live bit, just get the get with the previously on.
Now we just we don't have Yeah, that was a
nineties thing. We don't have characters doing this anymore. Now

(19:12):
it's it's just previously on Full House. So we uh,
we continue. We're in the living room. Stephanie walks in,
wearing a matching workout set and carrying some snacks. As
you do, as you do. She's ready. Becky reminds her
that she can't hang out in this room because Jesse
is getting his first dance lesson today. Steph plops onto

(19:34):
the couch and grints, I know I got a front
row seat. She knows this is gonna be good. She's
not going to be trying to hide it, like she's
just like she's like, look, we all know this is
going to be a disaster. I'm just here to watch. Yeah, totally.
So the doorbell rings and Becky calls for Jesse to
come get it. Becky tells steph that he's been working
on his dance moves the past couple of days and

(19:54):
he's getting better. On cue, Jesse runs into the living
room singing dance in and tries to slide in coolly,
but his foot gets caught on the rug and he trips.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Which is probably way harder to do than actually, do
you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Like making something look like an accident is impossible. Oh
it's hard. It is very hard. Was that I'm dancing?
Was that a throwback to Stephanie's dream sequence?

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Yeah, it's so great. Yeah, she's dances in. So Stephanie,
Bob and Dave's turn that into something. He pants me.
He can't, he pants me. It's just typical, typical. So
Stephanie sarcastically comments, hey, you're right, he's really improved. Jesse

(20:38):
answers the door and it's David from Fat Fish Music.
David introduces his choreographer Richard Williams, who takes Jesse's hand
and does an arm wave. What in the electric boogloo
are we doing? I don't know, but I love this
guy's beret. Like his whole look is fantastic. So it's
eighties dancer. He's got a beret with like pins and
buttons on us.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
It was it was giving a different world, you know
what I mean? Yeah, yeah, he looked so good, the
letterman's jacket with all like pat on it or maybe
even a little like bel Biv devout boys.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, he was cool.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
It was like you see him in your immediate Like,
this guy's a professional dancer.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
I like it. So Jesse tries a last ditch effort
to get them to rethink this whole dance idea. He says,
you know, Forever isn't really a dance song. It's more
of a ballad. He's not wrong. David shakes his head
and holds up a tape. Not anymore. We just re
recorded it and now it's a rap song. Oh here

(21:40):
it comes. It's here people, It's here, boy. I can't
believe we've had to wait all season for this.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
My question is can they do that, like just re
record like who owns the ip?

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Like, is it the Beach Boys? Is it just the
said they didn't care.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
They just they're like, we don't need music rights.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
But they have. If they knew it was going to
be a rap songs, No, they wouldn't have done that.
They wouldn't have let the.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Rights go in the first place. True, true, yeah, no,
And I don't think they. I mean, I guess if
he's he's the like the head of Fatfish Records, But
I don't know if he's the producers. Like sometimes a
producer might have ideas about how they'd want to change
a song or do something like rearrange it, but I don't,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I feel like you just need the music.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
Business is very much like yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. Okay,
Now instead of this, you're gonna be completely different, and
this is what you're gonna do, you know, because it's.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Very it's very messy. That is very messy, but business
is a mess makes for great entertainment. Though, Jesse lets
out a nervous chuckle and reminds him he's not really
a rapper, but David is unbothered. Vanilla I said the
same thing. Then he reveals his his hot new concept
for the Forever video. It's gonna be Arabian themed. Oh boy,

(23:00):
I'm not going to go poorly. Oh my gosh, this
is so why Like nothing this, this is nothing to
do with anything, Like it doesn't have to do with
the song, the lyrics, Like what is the dance moves
have to do with the rap? Nothing? Like none of
it is cohesive. Like it's just a mess. It is

(23:20):
hot mess. It is a hot mess.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
He should have stuck with one of the other two
or three record deals that he had, like this one.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Doesn't seem to be you know right. Oh And as
I was prepping for the next episode we're taping, which
is the our season five review with Jeff, I noticed
how many times, oh Jesse tries to land a record deal.
Jesse's going to focus on his music this episode, like
you yes, at least three times this season, maybe four
or five. It's ridiculous. Oh yeah, So David is revealing

(23:49):
the new hot concept for the Forever video. It's going
to be Arabian themed, and apparently it will encourage people
to do this new dance move called the jess Man,
which you know, I kind of I gotta give you
this guy was ahead of his time, Like, I gotta
give hi kudos for coming up with this idea a
viral dance before the internet was even invented.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Like that's pretty, you know, But.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
That was the thing. This was the that was the thing.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
The butterman like you mentioned, no, but there was always
un man see roll the running Man.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, dances were definitely, uh, they were a thing took off.
But when we had internet, like full long music videos,
not oh that's right, so you had to watch him
on TV. You couldn't just look him up on YouTube.
You had to sit down and watch Martha Quinn introduce
each video, right, all right, So Jesse points out once
again he is not a dancer, regardless, David plays the

(24:42):
cassette and Richard begins the dance lesson. He tells Jesse
it's easy and encourages him to start small. First, Richard
has him move his head side to side. Jesse's able
to do it, so Richard has him add in his
shoulders next, but as Jesse tries to move his head
and his shoulders at the same time, he starts to
go completely out of sync. Nonetheless, Richard tells him to

(25:04):
sway his hips from side to side next, including the
shoulder and the head movements. Unsurprisingly, Jesse can't manage it,
but he thinks he can.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Well. Yes, the thing though, as a drummer, he should
that one of the skills you have to have is
to have four body parts doing different rhythms at the
same time. That's right, So you would think that being
able to move his body in different ways that multiple
times would be a little bit better.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
But that doesn't.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
It doesn't. It doesn't translate necessarily, It doesn't translate.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
That doesn't, you know.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
But I was surprised actually that Jesse had as a
little rhythm as he does being a drummer.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
But John has rhythm, more rhythm than Jesse, Like does John.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
I mean, I wouldn't call John a dancer, but yeah,
but nobody has rhythm.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Rhythm, Okay, okay, yeah, all right, yeah this is but
the joke's gotta work. The episode has to work. The
whole episode is predicated on Jesse not being able to dance,
so he cannot dance. So, yeah, Jesse can't manage this.
He shouts, I'm dancing, everybody, see, I got it. I'm dancing. Finally,

(26:11):
Richard snops him and suggests that they just start with
something a little simpler, like The running Man, even though
I would argue the running Man is not simpler. Richard
gives him a demonstration of the move and Jesse tries
to follow, but he's unsuccessful. He's just moving his body
erratically and jumping around.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
At this point, then John with the hilarious physical comedy.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
He excels like he shines with.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
It's very Jerry Lewis, it's very Dick van Dyke like that.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
It really is. I know we talk about it a lot,
but I will continue to talk about it because for
somebody that could like he's known as a heart throb.
He's so handsome, you'd think he'd be more image conscious
of like, oh, I don't want to look like a fool,
But he leans into this. He leans into looking like
an idiot, which makes the best comedy. Yeah, and I
admire him for that. So kudos to John for just

(26:58):
leaning into all of this awkward dancing. Stephan beck Stephan
Beck Stephan Becky decide to give him a run for
his money, taking the spot next to him and executing
a flawless running man. And I love how Laurie is
watching you to know how to do the steps, so
it's so great.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Also, I think I had to teach Lori Actually I
think I remember I was.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
She was like, what do I even do? And I
was like, Okay, here we go. So I had to
like teach a little things.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
But I have to say, Laurie's hair and outfit, the
little half up, half down with a big scrunchy so nineties,
so nicey. Yeah, she looked adorable.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
She looks great. She could really pull that off. But yeah,
very very nineties. Richard comments, Well, at least somebody in
the family can dance, and Stephanie beams I can sing too.
She proceeds to belt out the Whitney Houston song Greatest
Love of All. Yeah, one of the hits, you know.
And I feel like, as a kid, were you embarrassed

(27:58):
to do these songs? Or no? You were love it?
Oh god, I loved it. This was before I was
trying to be cool.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
You know.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
This is still the era of like, oh I'll go
for it, you know. Yeah, yeah, this is free middle school.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
It was right leading up to where you're you start
just cringing it existence.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Okay, okay, so at some point you would be embarrassed
to sing a song on camera, even though you're good.
Was always I. As I got older, I.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Got more and more shy to sing in front of people,
until now I kind of got back over that after
doing like Fuller and other just saying you know, a
lot more singing stuff. But yeah, yeah, I think I
was more nervous about it.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
But as a kid now they were like when you're
eight old and you're like, go for it. Yes, and
it was fantastic. Thank you. Jesse nervously laughs, thank you, Stephanie.
That's enough. But she continues to sing her heart out,
and he comments, this isn't a telethon, this is it's
just such a stuff moment, like look at me. I'm
a theater kid. Yeah, Oh, she's such a theater kid. Yeah.

(29:00):
Then Jesse turns to Richard and tells him once more
he can't dance. Richard assures him for the next forty
eight hours, you are gonna move your body in weighs
you never thought possible. Jesse winces, will this involve pain?
And Richard nods before breaking out into some hip hop moves,
showing Jesse how it's done. He encourages Jesse to let

(29:21):
the music move him so Jesse tries his best, but
his dance moves are haphazard, and he eventually lands in
the splits. For his final move, his voice turns extremely
high pitched as he begs Becky to grab him some ice.
Although he did pretty well, he did good. He could
do the splits better than I could, So he did.
He did very well. Oh John, he's just he's just hysterical.

(29:53):
Next in the kitchen, Joey is making lemonade with Michelle.
They toast their glasses to her first stay in the
lemonade business. As they both take a sip, their faces
sour and they agree in unison more sugar. Joey instructs
her to add one more teaspoon, but instead she pours
the whole jar of sugar into the picture. Of course

(30:15):
she does. He jokes, well, that ought'll wake up and
rot your teeth, and then he mentions it won't be
long before you earn enough money to buy yourself that
ant farm.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
No one should never intentionally bring ants into their house.
That is, I feel like you're you're a little triggered here.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
You have have you had experience with an ant farm?
Not an ant farm, just ants. They are I hate
I hate them.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
They like you'll see a couple in the kitchen and
I get them in my kitchen when it.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Gets really hot. Yeah, they're the worst.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
I just don't because once they're there, they're not going
away for a while. And like, I just the thought
of an ant farm, Like all I can think is like,
oh my god, what if they get out? Ew we
get to see them build their tunnels, and like it's
just like a big social experiment.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
It's for the ants. See, that's good for them.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
They don't need to be watching them, you know, then,
I'm you don't need to be exhibitionists about their home building.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
How do you feel about like ladybug farm, like bringing
ladybugs into the house or like a Chris when you
have butterflies and chris fines and crysalises.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
That's fine crystals, fine caterpillars uh roaming around my kitchen,
uh covering you know, food.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
That I would like to eat.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
So I have a little less of a problem with
them than I do the ants.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Okay, so this is specific to it seems like.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Something I have to deal with it involuntarily in my house.
I would never voluntarily choose to bring them inside, right.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
This is Danny Tanner would not approve what I'm saying,
would be like, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Michelle ants, you know how hard I work to keep
them out of here?

Speaker 1 (31:53):
True, all you need is your first aunt infestation living
on your own independently, and it is like, oh, forget
about it. Uh So Michelle hopes that this is the
case that she could afford an ant farm, and she
grabs her jar of ants that are swarmed around a
lollipop and admits that they can't live in there forever
crapes me out. She grabs She examines the jar, going

(32:16):
cross eyed as she watches the little guys move around.
And this was cute, was as Ashley. I think how
she could cross her eyes and look yes at the
super cute trick. That was a great way to incorporate
this trick. Then Kimmy indeed walk in. Kimmy compliments her
on a great lesson, and she grins, I think my
dad was pretty impressed with my driving. Shortly after, Danny

(32:38):
walks in, looking horrified. He leans over a chair and
dramatically says, thank God, I'm alive. Kimmy admits, you know,
tea man for an uptight guy, you stayed pretty cool.
Danny casually responds, thanks, Jimmy, no sweat, and he shrugs
off his jacket to reveal two giant sweat marks below
each armpit. Just a little bit us so great. I

(33:03):
remember standing in the off off camera waiting for our
entrance and wardrobe, just trying to keep it saturating, you know,
because like Jeff's like more more, you want more sweat.
It has to read on camera. So meanwhile, Michell Michell,
Michelle is wearing a lemonade sign to promote her company
and shouts get your lemonade. Danny feels he could use

(33:26):
a cup, and Kimmy snarks, you could use some dress shields.
Danny throws it right back. You could use some exercise,
take a hike. It's kind of rude like this. I
was like, damn, you know, he's getting it's getting. It's
this is when we started getting This is where we
start getting the meaner. It started crossing the line because
the jokes aren't funny, they're just mean, and I I

(33:47):
don't like it. He walks over to Michelle and he
takes a cup. He soon realizes the lemonade is full
of sugar and says, oh, A couple more SIPs of
this and I'll need dentures. He realizes he only has
one dollar and the lemonade is ten cents. When he
hands Michelle the bill, she shuts her cash box and
says thank you. He wonders, aren't you forgetting something, and

(34:07):
she says, oh, yeah, have a nice day. She turns
to walk into the living room and we see that
the back of her sign reads sorry, no change. Come on, Danny,
just give your kids.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
For ninety cents. He's a tight wad. Well he's got
a for it. The next got renovation.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
The next person that moves in like you've got to
save his pennies, I guess so. Over at the table,
Kimmy is telling DJ that she can't go to Spain
with her unless she passes her Spanish class. She begs
DJ for help and DJ instantly agrees, considering she doesn't
want to be alone in Spain for six weeks. Kimmy complains,
why do I have to learn the whole language? All

(34:47):
I need to know are three words, food, boys and bathroom.
DJ nod's true, but you don't want to get them
mixed up. A studio moos smouchacha, which translates to let's study, girl,
But Kimmy misunderstands. No time for dancing. We have to
go study, and I walk off with my bike shorts,
my patterned bike shorts, Like this is mye me in

(35:09):
my bike shorts. Era. Yeah, we were.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
I believe we all started uh getting into our bike
shorts era.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
But I hate. I hated. I don't know why, but
I hated wearing my patterned bike the Kimmy Gibbler bike shorts.
For some reason.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
I think it just accentuated my chicken legs and my
pale stick legs.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
And your bangs.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
By the way, if I could hold a ruler up
to them, Oh yeah, it was at least two and
a half inches.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Gravity does not apply. It was.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
There was at least from the from the top of
your of your scalp to where your hair went up
was was measurable in inches.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Lots of awquin it, lots of awquin it. The owl
pellet is gone.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
It's now. It is now just sky high banks. Next,
we're here, We're in the studio. We are making the
Forever Wrap video. Oh my god, here I forgot.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Like when we would cut to that, I was like, oh,
it's worse than I remember.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
It's word it's worse. It's worse than we remember. Absolutely. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
I think the whole reason they made it that theme though,
because they wanted to put him in empty hammer type pants.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
But is that the reason I was wondering? I don't know.
I looked up, I'm like, when did Aladdin come out?
Because like, was this around like the Aladdin Aladdin was late?
Aladdin was November of nineteen ninety two. This was May
of nineteen ninety two, so yeah, before Aladdin came out,
So it wasn't a nod to Aladdin either, even yeah,
I think it was just it was just.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
A lot of pretty culturally inappropriate. I was just like,
we don't do that, yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
Right, But yeah, I think it was just the visual
gag of putting John in the hammer pants. That's yeap
oh dear. Okay. So they are on take twenty seven
of this Arabian themed Forever music video. Obviously it's not
going well. The music plays and Jesse appears out of
a basket wearing giant pants, a vest with no shirt,

(37:14):
one hoop earring, and his hair is in a little ponytail.
He's that little ponytail, a little phonytail. Just snuck in there.
It's just a great detail. He is dancing off cue,
missing his steps and not in sync with the rest
of the dancers, and then, to top it all off,
he accidentally spins into one of the set designs and
knocks it down. Richard calls cut and demands everyone takes

(37:38):
a break. David and Becky are watching the entire thing,
and David is not pleased. Becky tries to make light
of things, saying I think it's going very well, don't you.
He sighs, We've been here for six hours and I
don't have one frame of usable film. He warned you,
he warned you, He did like, this is still on you.
This is totally on him. He did not listen to Jesse.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
No.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Becky awkwardly holds up her sandwich and says, well, yeah,
but this tuna great. Yeah, I'm glad she appreciates us.
Going to say, it's not a tune of melt, but
it's close. It's a tune of melt, but I'll accept it. Meanwhile,
Richard helps Jesse up and asks jess Man, do you
have control of any of your body parts? He defends himself,

(38:21):
saying it's not his fault. His leg cramped up at
the beginning, and Becky chimes in, that's true, he has
very bad circulation. Jesse tells her he shouldn't make excuses,
but then he turns to Richard and starts to harp
on his bad circulation. Jesse emphasizes that this isn't the
forever he wants to do, but David reminds him that
they know what they're doing. Jesse's had enough. He grabs

(38:45):
Becky's hand and tells David and Richard that he quits.
Becky slams the tuna sandwich into David's hand and says here.
David tries to get Jesse to reconsider this is your
one shot at making it. You can't walk out. Actually, David,
it's not his one shot. This is his fourth shot. Okay,
your fourth in line, sir, don't write David has no
got no, it's not you've obviously never watched this show. Yeah,

(39:09):
David did not keep up with the prior. Yeah, you
didn't get it. So he says, you can't just walk out, babe,
and Jesse leans in and says, watch me, babe, and
he hurries out with Becky hand in hand. You know
I'm proud of Jesse. You know, he's standing up for
his vision. That's good for him. It's not just about
the quick making a quick fuck. He's he's standing up

(39:31):
for himself.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
This is smart of him because this video was terrible,
so nobody would want to be with this video.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Fat Fish Music does not have good ideas. I'm sorry,
they just don't know. Next in the attic, Jesse is
holding his twins and he looks off in the distance
with regret. He realizes, oh my god, what have I done.
He tells Nicky and Alex that he's got to go
back to fat Fish Music and beg them for a
second chance. He apologizes to the babies. I'm sorry, guys,

(40:04):
I was so selfish. I wasn't even thinking of you two.
I mean, I could have you totally set. One of
the babies reacts with cooing noises and Jesse nods, yeah,
that's right. College trust funds. Jupeys if the hair never
happens for you, and then he gives them a little
kiss on their bald heads. Babies gnaw on their chew
toys and Jesse promises he won't let them down. M

(40:28):
okay for all these babies, with their cooing like I'm
gonna last episode with the renterrheas, I'm.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
So sid that's right, yeah, because they're gonna be cast
next year or next season, and they're just so cute.
They were very cute bald heads, so they were very
very cute.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
They weren't chewing on like a.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
It looks like one of those things that you used
to like you'd put keys on and put it around
your wrist. Now like you can use them for hair
ties that don't put their hair what they were chewing on.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Yeah, you did look like that.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah, and my thought is that adrias keys.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Like, did Adrian Hannam here play with this?

Speaker 1 (41:03):
This is a situation where they're like, we lose the
babies in five minutes. We got to get the shot.
So Adria's like, here, play with here? Do this right?
And secondly, this is a very relatable dilemma. Do you
stick with your vision or do you take the paycheck
because you got to support your family like it is,
do you take your dream or do you take the
reality check? Right, It's very relatable. Next in DJ's room,

(41:26):
DJ is trying to help Kitty Kimmy. Why can't I
get anyone's name right today, no one's we got we
got Kitty, we got the Yeah, stephan Beck. I have
mispronounced every character's name just in this episode. I'm very awake.
I had extra coffee and everything.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
It's okay, I'm not I'm sor right, just so well,
you know, this is just one of those days I've
been trying to tell you, Okay, you got to quit
drinking as much as wanting a little less before we record.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
All right, I'll leave the bourbon out of my Okay,
what you put in I don't know.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Right, that's yeah, you're going to fill up your coffee.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
So Kimmy is exhausted, and she complains I can't conjugate
any more Spanish. It's after midnight. Can't we go to sleep?
DJ responds n Espanol. So Kimmy tries el sleep. Oh,
bego please. Oh and I'm wearing these hot dog earrings. Oh,
it's just like the beginning of Kimmy Gibbler and her
food accessories. It's so great. Then there's a knock on

(42:29):
the door. DJ panics because it's her dad. Danny assumes
that she fell asleep with the light on again, but
he has no clue that Kimmy is still there. DJ
forces her to hide, so Kimmy scrambles under the bed sheets,
forcing DJ to pick a different spot. Danny opens the
door and DJ quickly steps into her closet. Danny turns
on the light and asks his daughter, have you been

(42:50):
up studying this whole time? Wait? Didn't he Wasn't the
light just on? Didn't he say? Did you fall asleep
with your light on? Oh? Right, so it turns the lights.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Also, if you thought you fall asleep, why the hell
are you doing the lights on?

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Right?

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Why don't you keep her asleep? Yeah? This that doesn't
make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. That's just
the sitcom land. So Kimmy answers under the covers see.
Danny realizes she must be exhausted, and Kimmy answers with
another see. Then Danny tries to comfort her, saying, you
know what, let me give you a kiss, and Kimmy
quickly responds no. That's when Danny notices her feet sticking

(43:28):
out of the blankets. He spots the orange socks, and
his face sat worse when he sniffs them. He realizes
it's Kimmy. It's always a giveaway. Stinky feet, poor feet.
He decides to trick her, saying, oh, you must be
really excited about your trip to Spain this summer, and
Kimmy answers. See, he continues, I hope you take my

(43:48):
advice about ditching Kimmy, and this time she responds huh.
He explains it. It's all set up. Pepe the Pinata
Maker is going to wrap her in paper mache and
hang her in the village square. All the village children
are gonna come at her with their flaming sticks. This
took a turn, right When did you become like Quasi

(44:14):
Moto and the Hunchback of Notre Dame. You know, like
this isn't just freeing the pill smorks are coming out.
You know, it went from DJ ditching Kimmy to like
a full on, like just a village roast of Jimmy
being burned at the steak. Right, Danny's got a lot

(44:34):
of unresolved and like.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
I feel like, uh, Pepe the Pinata Maker. Uh, aside
from being ridiculous, but also like Pepe the Pinata I
feel like that's more.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
Mexico not Spain. Mmmm. Good point.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
Well, you know, I mean, look Danny's not being accurate.
He's talking about, you know, making an effigy of Kimmy
and having.

Speaker 1 (44:57):
Children flaming sticks feed it.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
So I don't think it really matters the correctness.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
But it's no, it doesn't. Pepe the Pinata Maker is
lovely alliteration, So let's just runs it. So Kimmy pops
up from under the covers and says she gasps flaming sticks,
and Danny laughs, got ya, gibbler, you can come out.
DJ apologizes to her dad, saying she just wants to

(45:22):
help Kimmy with her Spanish. Danny reminds Kimmy that if
she wants to pass the test, she's gonna need her sleep,
so he tells her to go home. He waves bayinas
no chase, and Kimmy perks up. Oh, nacho's great. I'm starving.
Danny's eyes widen as he tells DJ maybe a couple
more minutes of studying wouldn't hurt Jimmy. Kimmy is like

(45:45):
that American that you don't want to see abroad. She
doesn't care.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Where's the hot dogs kind of American? Yeah, where's the McDonald's.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Where's the McDonald's American? Yeah, why don't you speak English?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Like, oh, right, that one you're like, you know, it's
probably better if you don't go Kimmy, it's from way better.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
She doesn't know.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
I'm gonna say, uh, flaming sticks would make a pinata
much more.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Exciting, that's true. Oh yeah, then you have like a
flaming ball's candy.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
Right, you want that candy, You're gonna have to risk
some things for it.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Put some pop rocks in there, and you'll just have
an exploitive Yeah. Oh great. Next to the living room,
Joey and Michelle are counting up her change from her
lemonade stand. She made a total of eight dollars and

(46:37):
forty cents.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
Which did you do if you don't didn't do the math, Yeah,
that means she sold eight hundred and flory cup.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
This shot.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
This is this isn't just a little front yard lemonade stand.
This child has been walking all over San Francisco. Yeah,
door to door like she is an entrepreneur. Like she's
done very very well for herself.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Or she robbed a couple of people. Yeah, I don't know, man,
Either way, she's going to make it in the business world.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
This was the start of the empire a raging successes.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
Yeah, Joey excitedly tells her that if she sells one
more cup, she'll have enough money to buy her aunt farm.
Michelle begs him to buy one more, but he reminds her,
I've already had fifty cups. I'm sweating lemon juice.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Okay, Well, so that's what seven and ninety.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Yeah, yeah, still a lot of a lot of lemonade
from the city of San Francisco. Well, maybe you know
there's lots of like horses walking by, and you know
there's there's there's a lot of horses drink lemonade. No,
but I'm just saying all the things and animals that
have stairs. Yeah, I'm assuming they're in the front yard
or maybe they're in the backyard.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Who knows, Like where did they sell this lot of
sandwich board on like a little sign.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
I think she's walk in the streets. So it's a
traveling lemonade stand.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
The traveling I don't know, probably now that Yeah, that
wouldn't make sense, a traveling lemonade stand anyway, it's neither
way in the lemonade business.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
She's killing it, so uh, and she reminds him she
reminds him that he doesn't actually have to drink the lemonade,
he just has to buy it. Joey siys, why didn't
I think of that? Forty nine cups ago, and he
plops ten more cents into Michelle's cash box. Jesse and
Becky come downstairs, and she asks if he really wants
to do the I Dream of Jesse video. Yeah, it

(48:34):
was kind of giving that, Yeah, it was giving up.
Yeah that's true. Jesse responds, No, I'd rather do the
video my way, but I've got to think of you
and our children and our future. It's very responsible of him.
This is very unlike Jesse, but very responsible. Well done, Jesse.
Joey chimes in, admitting it's too bad he can't just

(48:54):
buy his own record company, and Jesse sarcastically says, yeah,
I'm just a few books short.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Huh does he wind up buying just starting his own music?

Speaker 1 (49:03):
I think he was a setup. Their next venture probably
going to be next season. Danny's gonna fund Danny's gonna
fund this an He's like the silent investor on a
lot of things.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
I know.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
So I don't know. Do they do they start their
own record company? Probably? I don't think. I don't know
if they did or not. They they know they want
anything possible. They like a big stand up for Yeah, yeah,
I thought it was a setup. What are the rush
Hour renegades? That's radio? Yeah, that's radio. That's not that's

(49:37):
not a music company, is it. Oh that's right.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
They become they become radio host radio.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Anyways, Well, I think this is just a setup for
this with Michelle. So Michelle happily offers, you can have
my aunt farm money. Jesse crouches down to her level
and tells her that that is the greatest offer he's ever.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
Received, second only to being able to move into an
attict for free.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yes, and have a whole new recording studio downstairs in
the basement. Right, those were also pretty cool. He urges
her to keep the money she worked so hard for,
but Michelle insists, but I love you, and you're more
important than my aunts. She glances at her aunt jar
and says, sorry, guys, I mean he is an uncle.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, yeah, Jody, I'm just.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Full of them today. I can't help it. I'm full
of mispronunciations. You're full of dad jokes today.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Well, this is what you get on, aren't people glad
they too didn't. Okay, they're like, when's the next commercial? Look,
if they made it through the pre shiow chatter, then
that's true.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
They get they all get gold stars for randing and
there without size. So Jesse reaches over to Michelle. He
gives her a big kiss in response, and then the
doorbell rings. Jesse wishes there was another way out of this.
He opens door and greets David with an apology. I'm
sorry I blew up. I'd like you to accept my apology.

(51:06):
David smirks. He knew he'd come crawling back. He tells Jesse,
let's face it, Without fat fish music, you're nothing. Who
else would make you an offer like we did, Jess.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
A great way to bring someone back, right like this?

Speaker 1 (51:21):
I do not like this, David jenially, Yeah, music is
pretty crappy though. Man, this is rough. Jesse pauses and
looks at Michelle, who's sitting on the couch, raising her
eyebrows at him. He tells David that he actually did
get another offer, and David's shocked from who Jesse walks

(51:42):
over to Michelle and picks her up, casually, saying it's
a five year old company. Small but very generous, and
they really love me. David Scott's yeah, what kind of
money are they talking about? Jesse tells him big money.
He looks down at Michelle's jar of ads and ads
enough to buy a farm now. Joey chimes in, you

(52:04):
know what, Dave, you're starting to remind me of the
guy who turned down the Beatles. David nervously asks who,
and Joey shrugs out it doesn't matter. He's the laughing
stock of the music business. He's still kicking himself over
that one. He walks over to Becky and kicks himself
repeatedly to drive home the point. Becky joins in, Oh,
don't worry. I'm sure you'll get another job. Can you say,

(52:27):
would you like fries with that?

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Sir?

Speaker 1 (52:30):
David anxiously turns to Jesse and asks if he's serious.
Jesse firmly states, I gotta go with the company that
believes in me. As he begins walking David to the door.
David immediately changes his tune, assuring him, we believe, we believe. Look,
I know we've had our creative differences, but that's the
way the biz is. You work, you fight, you do lunch,

(52:51):
you compromise, but Jesse continues to play hardball. We do
the song my way or there's no deal. David hesitates,
but finely gives in, you got it. See we're compromising,
Jess Babe.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
Jesse gives him a big grin. Dave Babe, hit me, and.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
They hug it out. David tells him he loves him,
and Jesse points at him as he leaves right back
at you. As soon as he shuts the door, David
calls Jesse calls David a goon, but he excitedly turns
to his family and collaps. We did it. Everyone congratulates him,
and he gives Michelle a special shout out. I couldn't
have done it without you very much rights giving. He's

(53:32):
really could.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
He's like, I could not have done this without my
my therapist who's been with me for the past few years. Yeah,
really makes me reevaluate my life and my choices.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Yeah, I'm so glad he gave her credit for this.
She really has worked hard for this, and Michelle has
built this man's life. I mean, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
She's like, I've decided where you're gonna live.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
I'm decided what you know what?

Speaker 2 (53:55):
What job you're gonna have because you're gonna do this. Yeah,
she's here much in control.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
She is, she is just making the demands. She's the
Colonel Parker to his Elvis. Oh she is? She Oh, Michelle,
And then she confesses I don't know what I did,
but I'm glad I did it. Oh, honey, you know
what you did? You know what you did. Next, in

(54:23):
the living room, Kimmy happily pops in, saying, oh lah tannerritos.
Danny is fiddling with the TV and complains, I gotta
change the locks again.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
In Dj'm in the first place, door's always open.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
It's not gonna be Why start now. Then DJ walks
in from the kitchen and asks Kimmy if she got
her grades. Kimmy grins, they just came in the mail
and I passed Spanish. Isn't that mooy? Awesome? Girls jump
up and down, realizing they officially get to go to
Spain together. Danny takes a look at her report card

(54:56):
and says, WHOA, you got a D minus. Your parents
must be very prod out. Jimmy doesn't catch the sarcasm
and responds, yeah, my dad says that with grades like this,
I'm on the fast tracked air conditioning school where you'll
probably make a ton of money. And like as a trade, like,
that's a that's a smart that's a smart decision to me.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
When people are like, oh, you're gonna go via, then
like an electrician, you're like, yeah, and I'm gonna go
make a ton of money.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
They're so in demand, they are so in demand right now.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
Yeah, that is if you want to get into a business,
be an electrician, plumber.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Yep, HVAC. Yeah, that is that's high end demand. Uh So,
then Jesse and Becky make their way downstairs with the twins.
Jesse yells out for everybody to come down to the
living room because he's gonna be on MTV.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Oh man, back now, MTV for those of those youth,
it actually used to show music videos, say music television.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
It wasn't lying now not so much, no, not so much.
But it was like music videos countdowns, top ten premiers.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Remember video premieres, Yeah, the worldwide premiere and it was
like a big old thing and they.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Had a big deal. This was like appointment TV. You
would sit down and watch the debut of the music video.
Just that The Tanners are about to do so, the
entire family gathers around the TV to watch Out of
the Blue with Martha Quinn. She introduces the show as
featuring new artists you've never heard of and may never
heard of, may never hear of again hear loss? Member,

(56:30):
here is the here loss? Yeah right. She goes on
to introduce Jesse, who is visibly nervous. He looks into
the wrong camera, thinking they do a close up of
him since he's having a good hair day. Then he rambles,
I just want to say, there's been some very hard struggles,
you know, a lot of sleepless nights, rejection, cold sweats,
summit cramps, a bit of gas. Martha stops him and

(56:53):
tries to toss it over to his music video, but
he interrupts her to say thanks to his family, Danny, Joey, Stephanie,
and Deep. Martha tries to cut him off again, but
there are more people he needs to think, he continues, Michelle,
my favorite little munchkin, my wife, Rebecca, my twins, Nikki
and Alex put begging at the bottom. Why didn't she
come first? Right, saying Danny, well you know what I mean.

(57:18):
I mean, Danny did give you the record studio in
a place to live.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
But I would have been like my wife Rebecca, who
was traveling with me pregnant on my last record deal.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
I know, I know, It's just he's just reciting them
in the cast list orders. The writer was like, let
me go down the cast list and just list them
in order. So at this point, Jesse's showing off photos
of them from his wallet. Martha throws her arms up
and says, Okay, we're out of time now. She looks
off stage and asks them to bring in somebody else.

(57:51):
Jesse panics, thankfully, she was just kidding. She teases, You're
not going to have a gas attack, now, are you. Finally,
she introduces Jesse and the Ripper's new song and points
out that Forever is a Beach Boys song. Jesse nods
and says that he knows them. He even mentions that
they sang on this track. Then the music video starts.

(58:13):
Jesse is in a bed, shirtless in the middle of
a rustic building. Oh, it's better than the Arabian Nights video,
like the I Dream of Fair.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
There were a lot of music videos like this. I'm
instantly I'm thinking of I think there was a he
was a Seal music video.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
I think there was a Janet Jackson music video.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
I think that where they were like outdoors in like
a bed and things were flowing and it looked like
they were in some sort of like desert little town.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
Yeah, it was. That was a big That was a
big aesthetic, the biggest that even like the New Kids
in their The Right Stuff video, it was like that
Cepia tone, the black and white cep A tone, and
they're running through like a cemetery. It's like, this makes
no sense. Yeah, but that was this video didn't have
to make sense. It didn't know.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
So it doesn't look cool, all right, done, it's nonsense,
but you were like, I'm in it.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Yeah, so great. This video, though, is so much. It's
very extra. It's so extra.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
I hadn't watched it in its flip full thing ever, probably,
but since we take this episode and uh yeah yeah yeah,
I also have to say I think at one point
he lifts the baby up. I saw there was a
little it's a little.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Little baby, but a little baby, but little. There was
a little more than a baby, but there was a
little more. Yeah, there was, there was there was I
can't show that. Yeah, I know this little babies, A
little baby, a little yeah, a little you know things.
I was like, this is it appropriate? His testicles have
definitely dropped by now, so that's yes.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Oh yeah, yeah, we can all agree that we can
all uh you know, have an input on that because
we saw.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
But you know, it was you can't you can't show baby. No,
it was a it was just it was just it
was a lot. I feel like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Putting infants in your music video is not the way
to sell it on MTV.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
No, it was well right, because Jesse wants to be
the big famous rock star. But being married happily with
babies in the.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Video, yeah, well maybe he's trying to try.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Trying to attract chicks like a chick magnet with the babies.
Although that does but that's kind of you know what
I mean, Like it doesn't. This just doesn't doesn't anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
This video, for all its weirdness, is just it is
peak nineties.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
You guys peak nineties. It's a peak full hoigh, it's
peak Jesse too. It's just so yes, he takes himself
so seriously in this. I know this it seems like
it should be satire, but it's not. Like it's just
Jesse and Jesse just living it up in this music video.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
Yeah. Oh man, there's billowing drapes and and shirtless vests.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
There was at one point he's got like a little
Davy Crockett uh suede.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
Fringy number on when he's in the in there and
he turns around, oh fringe on the back.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
Yes. How much did it make to make this? How
much did it cost to make this video? That's what
I want to know, because like they really they put
some money into this.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
So did it I mean did it ever get released
any Like?

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Did it? Oh? I don't know at the time, you
know what I mean, Like, was there a place where
you could It's not like.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
There was the internet, right, So I was like, did
they put it online? No, they didn't because there wasn't one.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
A lot of people have shared that they used Forever
as their wedding song, like in real life that they're
at their wedding.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
So yeah, like now it's available, but back then, yeah,
I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Yeah. I think you just had to watch this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
The Beach Boys are really kicking themselves for turning those
rights over all that all those songs it could have been,
you know, in.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
Royalties darn it. Oh man each boys. Yeah, and they
were in the video as well. Oh yeah, yeah, this
was if this was real life, this would never this
would never happen. They give up the rights, like, yeah, sure,
we'll be in your video. We'll do it for free.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Like the best friends with them now they've been to
his house twice, the ffs.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Yeah. So in this video there's shots of Jesse and bed.
He holds the twins, he singing to them. Then they
they're in the side of the church. Like you mentioned,
there's a choir. The candles just like hanndles galore.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
I was like, someone's gonna get lit on fire. I
was waiting for the fringe to go up, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
I was like, how do they get a fire permit
to have this many candles lit on a set? Oh,
you could do it. Maybe you just gotta have a
fire permit. Back then, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
No, you needed a fire permit and you have to
have a fire like a fire marshal on set writing
with a little extinguisher ready to go.

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
They needed the whole fire department in this set, in
some underground layer, I don't know where they went to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
It was great though, whatever was happening and this was
just yeah, and the choir. Choirs were also a very
big part of nineties music videos.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
Yeah, yeah, Jesse loves choirs. They were at his wedding,
now they're in his music video, Hey Love. Everything sounds
better with a good choir. So there's multiple shots of
Jesse messing around on his guitar. He's either shirtless or
wearing a shirt that covers nothing or a vest or
a vest. The video ends with Jesse dramatically blowing out

(01:03:41):
a candle.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
The drama it was so just like it felt like
an snl skit like it was just it really did
it was. It was so extra and it was so
full house and it was so here for it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
Yeah, so here for it. So now we're we returned
back to the Tanner's living room. We see everyone cheering
for him. Jesse is soaking all of this up and
he tells them, thank you very much. That was the
greatest two and a half minutes I've ever experienced in
my life. And Becky says, hey, and he corrects himself,

(01:04:21):
I mean musically, there's so fortunate. Yeah, give himself little
more credit. And we got I had higher expectations for
Jesse and Becky. I'm just gonna say, yeah, I'm surprised.
So Joey asks, Hey, how does it feel to be

(01:04:43):
a big rock star? Jesse reminds him he's not a
big rock star, he just has one single. Danny chimes in, well,
I don't want to get you overly excited, but I
went to the music store to buy a copy and
they were completely sold out. The whole family cheers in excitement.
There used to be living that did copies of sounds.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
That you purchased on little platin plastic containers and brought
them home and listened to them from start to finish.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
It did not live in a phone that you could
carry around. You went to Sam Goodie and you were like,
where's my blah blah blah blah, and it was popular.
You're like, damn, yep, missed out, missed out it. So
Jesse walks over to the side of the couch and confesses, well,
I may have had a tiny bit to do with that.

(01:05:31):
He picks up a box to reveal I bought every
copy they had. He hands out a CD to each
family member, including Comet, who holds it in his mouth.
The boy Jesse treats Joey the same way, placing a
CD in his mouth too, And that is our show
showing our season that season five ladies and Joemen Boy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
Who were dramatically blowing out the candle on that season.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
That was. I don't know how I got mixed feelings
of about this episode. I think it was as a
standalone episode, as a standalone two parter, it was great.
Was it worthy of a season finale? It was.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I was surprised this season that that was the season finale.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
Yeah, I was too. There was no like cliffhanger, like,
what what are we looking forward to in season? In
season six?

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
Well, but yeah, but that wasn't I don't. I feel
like sitcoms and.

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
Really do that. No, we're even renewed at that point.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
Maybe we're probably like ooh, fingers crossed.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
I don't know if we were renewed and I don't,
but I feel like, yeah, the end of a season.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Well, last season Becky was pregnant. Well that's right, there
was a pregnancy, right and baby's being born. So maybe
I'm just basing it because the last season ended, you know,
very cliffhangary with oh my gosh, Yeah, they're starting a family.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
And I feel like, to you end the season with
whatever it is that you're going to have to jump forwards.
So maybe it's the it's Joey's comment about, hey, wouldn't
it be great if you had your own grecor gum
feels right because it is that when like Viper comes
in and there's a whole isn't that how to do

(01:07:09):
with it where he's like recording them as a band
or something, or maybe you could I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. I have no idea
what happens in season six, like zero idea. So I'm
just so this episode did not do a good job
of setting up a season six if there were to
be a season six, because we have no idea what's
going on. No pregnancies, there's no weddings, there's no engagements,
there's no but maybe it's a record no company there,
I don't know. There's a choir, there's there's a choir.

(01:07:35):
There's naked babies. Yeah, that's all you need to know.
They're gonna age up the twin, so that is gonna happen.
So we're gonna have toddlers in season six, we're gonna
have Scott Wenger. He appears season six, So that's exciting
Steve comes back. Besides that, I can't tell you a
single thing that happens in season six me either, looking forward.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
To it, but I can't believe that we're finally we
did it. We're done with the longest season of the show. Wait,
I know this was the long one.

Speaker 1 (01:08:05):
Yeah, this was the long one. In going back to
look at these previous episodes, I was like, wow, that
was season five. Yeah again months ago.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
Yeah, it's it's been a minute for a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
There was a lot in this season. Yeah. Did you
have any everywhere he looks in this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
Other than the thing I shouldn't have seen on the baby? No,
not really, Yeah, no I didn't. It wasn't I didn't
really notice anything else. The black of a shirt, Yeah,
we should not have seen that. No, that's an everywhere
you shouldn't look at that, right, right, although I mean, hey,
remember the the cover.

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Of the Nirvana album.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
Oh yeah, that's right. Maybe that was in that was
just the kids sued in the suit. Hey did the
rentery has any ideas? So? Right?

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
Never mind? Yeah, sorry, never mind. They're famous drummers. Now,
so there's like we're gonna see it, right, they'd.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
Be like, ah them, yeah, so I have one okay
was on.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
In the Okay, we're in the kitchen on the front
of the kitchen island. There's that little wooden sign that
says welcome friends, but it's been beat to crap.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
It's the things. Oh it's missing that it's missing a
duck because plants. Yeah, because everyone would hop up on
the counter right there.

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
We'd up right there. John would do it a lot.
But we always, even just rehearsals or whatever, like we
always sat on the kitchen.

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
Counter, and I think it just got like stuff knocked
into it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
Yeah, it's so you could really see it in the
lemonade Yeah, like cramade scene. And I can't believe props
didn't like replace it or put something else to department.
Why why wouldn't they like put something else there. No,
We're just gonna leave the sign there with nothing but
the words like there's like half a duck there, there's right.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
I mean, it was probably the most realistic thing about
the episode though, because that's actually what what it would
look like in a kitchen with nine people living in
a house.

Speaker 1 (01:10:08):
Yeah, that's true. That's very realistic. It's just like, yeah,
things break and he's right to just release them, right,
and you just learn to ignore it and don't even
look at it. It's so funny. I'm gonna laugh every
time I see that. I hope it's there just looking
like crap. Next beginning of season six too, I hope
it is. I feel like we had that sign in
Fuller too. Didn't we have something similar when we read

(01:10:29):
something on the front. It's something on the front. I
have to go back and look now, because I don't
remember that. We should have had a sign with with
the just.

Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
Everything, you can just see the outline of.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
What used to be there. So funny. Anyways, Yeah, so
that was that was a thing that we saw. That's
season five. That's what we did. Season I don't know,
not my favorite season. I know we're gonna review season
five next, but it's it's not. It's there was a
lot that happened. Not my favorite season.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
Yeah, not not my favorite. It started feeling like, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
It's like, Okay, yes, we've done five years of the
show and we're running out of ideas, right, That's what
I felt like.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
We were starting to jump the choir as.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
They jumping the choir. We're jumping, We're jumping, yes, yes,
But we will talk more about that in our episode
with Jeff that airs soon.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Yep, and our season five ranking, which is always fun
and we're looking forward to it, so make sure you
tune in for that one as well. All right, thank
you fan Ritos for making it through season five with
us and through another episode of our Random Tangents.

Speaker 1 (01:11:37):
We love you, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
Thank you so much for listening though. We really do
appreciate it, fan Ritos, And if you want to find
us on Instagram, you can check us out at how
Rude Podcast, or you can send us an email at
how Rude Tanertos at gmail dot com. You can visit
our merch store howardmerch dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
And is there anything else?

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
You got it?

Speaker 1 (01:11:58):
That's it? That's it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
I don't know why say that every week, but I
always feel like I'm missing something.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
Well, I always feel like I'm forgetting something like that's
my that's my normal. Now it's just I'm like, what
are you forgetting? It's something?

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Well, everybody, remember the world is small, but the house
is full. I was gonna say something, But then I
thought it would I was gonna say it, say it.
I would say the world is small, but the house
is full of inappropriate baby balls.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
That was what I was gonna say. See, why wouldn't
it Why shouldn't have said that? Now I said it,
it's your fault.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
If I get canceled, it's your fault.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
I'm putting it back on you. I'm gonna say Andrew
wrote the chick I'll I'll take it. Man. That was
because it's true. You're not saying anything that's wrong. Yeah,
I just know a little too much. You guys. Season five.
That's a wrap. We will see you for the next episode.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
Bye bye, no no,