"Happy New Year" Recap Season 4, Episode 13

The Tanner family is celebrating New Years in many forms... Kimmy Gibbler throws a rager, Stephanie eats a raw onion in preparation for her first kiss, Joey meets someone via video dating and almost gets married, and Michelle's New Years kiss is a dog!!

If you think all of THAT is whacky, just wait until Jodie reveals some crazy stories from the Fuller House set... Let's just say there is never a dull moment when Jodie Sweetin is around! And, it's all right here on How Rude, Tanneritos! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I mean, I don't feel it's I don't feel that bad.
Like it's not like signed prop bad, you know what
I mean, it's sign the props right. Although as close
second to signing the prop bad feeling was the time
that I was standing next to you and I was
telling some very animated story and I had a bottle

(00:41):
of water in my hands and I thought the cap
was on it and it was not, and in full
hair and makeup, I proceed to dump the entire bottle
of water because it was I was talking about something
putting it over their head, and I dump in hair,
full hair and makeup, the entire bottle of water. I

(01:02):
think you were standing there for that, right, And I
got my phone.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I think I got video of it. You were in
like a tacky bridesmaid stress, so maybe you had wed.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
It was it was the wedding expo week, so I
was also in that stupid awful dress and I just
soaked it. And I'm like, oh no, like yes, like
wardrobe is gonna kill me, hairm maher making again I'm
never I'm like, oh no, I screw up. Then it
affects you know, seven people.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Anyway, I don't think that's quite as bad. Well, that's
about even with when you were when we were outside
shooting the DJ Steve Proposal, that very very very very
hot day on the back lot of Warner Brothers.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
It was the Engagement, Yeah, it was the Proposal episode
the Proposal d bands number on the back lot and
you I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Remember what we were doing, just standing around.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
We were just standing there. You were waiting for everybody
to get you know, you were in the wheelchairs and
I think I think dam Chris was with us the
eighties like there was I don't know. We were just
kind of standing there, like trying to find some shade
and like you know, bs before we had to start
shooting this horrific day. Haven't even shot anything. Nothing done.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
This is the topic.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Nothing done. Have just walked out from stage to the
shade of this tree. And again it's very hot, right,
So all of a sudden, I hear this buzzing in
my ear and there were these giant beetles flying around,

(02:44):
right that had been like dive bombing us, like you know,
the ones who are like ear doesn't So I think
it's one of those things. And it sounds like it's
now in my hair, So I freak out and I
just panicked. I ran straight you in the wheelchair, you're like,
and then I like veered off to the right, but

(03:06):
the top half of my body was was like about
seven inches farther ahead than my legs were, and I
just couldn't quite get the bottom half caught up. And
I slide on my like just on in wardrobe on
the ass frosts the blacktop, and everyone's like, what happened?

(03:28):
What happened? What happened? I look back and there stands Terry,
my makeup artist, with a little fan. But she held
up to me to try and cool me off.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
She's like, I thought you were hot.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
I thought you were figured you were hot. She walked
up behind me and I just hear and screamed. People
came over.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
It was like we were like, what just happened? I
thought you were possessed running you. I'm like, why are
you reacting like this? That she was just trying to
cool you off?

Speaker 1 (04:07):
And you yourself standing in front of me, sees what's happening.
I have no idea, so they think I'm just running
away screaming from Terry. Yes, mind you. I slide on
the black top like I manage to only skin, like
the palm of my hand right here. I don't rip wardrobe.

(04:29):
It didn't like come up and like because I was
in a like little dress, like it didn't. I didn't
get any of my legs. Amazing.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, that could have been really bad, knowing how much
you like break your ankles and stuff like that could
have been really bad.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
And even started today, that's all the day started.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I don't know, if I guess in a weird way,
I should feel flattered that you always run towards me
when you pay a massive mistake, it waits around.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
This is weird somehow You're always involved, like directly but
sort of around.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
And I'm always whipping out my phone on my.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Ridiculous let me record it. Yeah yeah, yeah, well there
we go. You're welcome.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
I haven't thought about that in a long time.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Oh I haven't either. Oh my god, good time. And
everyone was so concerned.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Well yeah, and I was like, I'm not for sure
you would have ripped your dress, your wardrobe. I've gotten skin.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, I just managed to hold together. But yeah, everyone
thought something really terrible. It happened because I screamed and
ran and we had that It was just a fan
in my ear.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yeah, with all those dancers, for the extra the extra dancers.

Speaker 4 (05:45):
We've got extra people, like like not just like our
usual casting, like twenty of extra hair and makeup people
and extra dancers.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
And it's like, yeah, so it really I I A
lot of people got to witness that. Yeah, that's my favorite.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Duh, oh, my favorite. I will never get tired of
these stories. Oh, such good times, such good memories. Oh indeed, well,
shall we recap an episode?

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Now? Just recap an episode rather than my stupid backstage.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Moves, Like now I got like I've had like an
ab workout from laughing. Oh god, right for yeah, like
twenty minutes straight.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
So great.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well, welcome back to How Rude Tan Rito's. I'm Andrea
Barber and I'm Jody Sweedon, and today we're discussing season four,
episode thirteen, Happy New Year. It originally aired December twenty eighth,
nineteen ninety, and it goes a little something like this,
Joey feels lonely when he can't find a date for
New Year's Eve. I didn't realize this aired like right

(06:55):
near New Year's Eve. That's brilliant, brilliant planning.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yeah, I think they probably figured that out. They probably
were like, this episode's going to air that or were
you saying good idea on that?

Speaker 2 (07:05):
No, that was a great idea. Yeah, okay, Usually we're
not known for our advanced planning. So right, it's a
good job sitcom. You did something, you did something good.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
We got we got one airing right before holiday. Throw
that in there, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
It was directed by Joelswick, it was written by Jeff Franklin.
And we have lots of returning guest stars this week.
Jordan Christopher Michael returns as Rusty. Make sure you check
out our interview with him if you haven't already listened
to it. Also, Deborah Stipe returns as Cindy again, another
great interview we did a few weeks ago. Then we

(07:42):
have Yvette Nippar as Christine, the Lovely Christine. She is
known as Detective Lisa Madigan on RoboCop, and she played
the role of Jackie Garrett on twenty one.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
Jump Street and Got a lot of police things.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Lots of police things, and she did nineteen episodes of
Days of Her Lives as Sasha Roberts in nineteen eighty seven.
I had just left the show, so there was no
overlap atween the two almost had no idea. Then we
have R. J. Williams. He returns as Rusty the paper Boy.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Wait wait, no, no, no, he's not Rusty, No, not Rusty.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
He's uh wait, what is his name?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Uh Y, Ricky Ricky. There we go. That's right, Rusty Ricky.
I sound like my days. I remember that the Robert
something with an R name someone.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yes, okay. R J. Williams returns as Ricky the paper Boy.
It was like, something doesn't sound right.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
He's great.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
I kind of wish he had stayed on as DJ's boyfriend.
I think they had a good, like, yeah love connection.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
You know. I liked him. He kind of had a
little like he had game. He had game, he had game,
and he had like a little mischievous glint in his eye.
Yeah you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, you could tell he was thinking, he was thinking.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah, I know. I liked him.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
This is his last appearance on Full House. Unfortunately, I
wish he had stayed around for longer. And next we
have Robin Donnie, the Fabulous Robin Donnie. She returns, but
this time as a different character. She's a ginger Ginger.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
This week we.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Last saw her in season three's Doctor Dare Rides again.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
And she'll be she was also one of our stand ins.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Oh yeah, she was.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
She was always around, she was always she was a
part of the crew, and she was brilliantly hilarious improv artist.
And yeah she got to do some fun stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, she was great. She'll be back in season seven
as somebody completely different. So right, I look forward to that.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
So well, Becky's sister.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
There's still more. There's more Howie.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Oh no, Howie.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
We should put Howie on a shirt too, not Howie Howie.
And last, but certainly not least, we have Sherry Rose
as Darlene, best known for her starring role in the
nineteen ninety nine film Me and Will opposite Patrick Dempsey.
She's great, she's one of the she's the uh one

(10:07):
of the video dating girls, right right, right, yeah, Joey's
strange options of the video dating. So we start with
the teaser. In the backyard, Michelle is examining a bug
that's crawling on her hand. She asks the little insect,
what kind of bug are you? But when she doesn't
receive an answer, she calls out for DJ to help.

(10:28):
DJ asks what she has on her hand, and Michelle
guesses a hairy worm. DJ tells her that the critter
is actually called a caterpillar. Michelle analyzes the bug with
a frown. Mister caterpillar is an ugly bug, but DJ
tells her the ugly bug will one day turn into
a beautiful butterfly. Michelle doesn't believe it. She responds, no way, Jose,

(10:51):
and DJ shrugs, It's true, Magoo. It's like in the
fairy tales, the princess kisses the ugly frog and he
turns into a handsome prince. Get it. Michelle gives her
a thumbs up.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Got it, dude.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
DJ leaves her to be and Michelle directs her attention
back to the caterpillar. She sternly tells him, you're gonna
stay a caterpillar because I'm not kissing you and we're out.
That's a teaser.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
That's the teaser. There you go. You learn the lesson.
Don't put random bugs in your mouth.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
I'm impressed they got her to hold the thes are great.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
They articularly though when they.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
You know I'm not a fan of bugs. I'm not.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Well, we know I'm not either. But if as long
as they don't fly. I'm okay. It's the flying. It's unpredictable.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
It's true. They're just loose cannons flying as long.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
As it's a caterpillar. Once it starts flying, I'll be
like I'm sorry, Like I'm out. Now you're a weird bug. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
So next in the living room, Joey is on a
very large cordless phone. Oh my god, I'm calling a
woman a brick. It's like half the size of his head.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
And remember you had to pull the antenna out.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, yeah, this is a relic man, This is a relic.
So he's calling a woman named Melinda, and unfortunately, when
he tells her who's calling, she doesn't recognize him. He
explains that they went out about ten months ago, but
that still doesn't ring any bells for her, so Joey
does his Popeye impression to jog her memory, and that

(12:22):
does the trick. He asks Melinda how she's doing, and
Joey echoes her words in defeat. Oh you're married, so
he starcastically comments, well, then you probably have a date
for New Year's Eve, and he hangs up shortly after
and mumbles to himself in the Popeye voice as Wenda.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Then Danny, Cindy, Becky, and Jesse appear at the front door.
Danny is carrying a huge stuffed tiger, while Becky trails
behind carrying an equally large stuffed gorilla. Joey's happy to
see them, and he asks how their double date went.
Cindy beams, Oh, it was great. We ended up at
Happy Mountain Amusement Park.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
In those outfits, the women are in heels and like
panny hose and and well shoulder padded jackets.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
It was not practical for any suits. Yeah, very impractical clothing.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
It was just I mean, I get they they wound up.
There was a surprit, you know, like oh hey, let's
go here. But yeah, if it were me, I would
have been like, yeah, I don't know that that's gonna
work for me because I'm in heels.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
I'm gonna have to go buy some Yes, yes, oh boy.
So Becky chimes in. It was so romantic. We went
to the Test your Strength booth and with one swing
of the hammer, Jesse rang the bell and won me
this cute teddy gorilla. Danny adds. Then Cindy stepped up

(13:48):
and won this for me, and emotions to the stuffed
tiger that he's carrying. Joey watches the couples with a
hint of sadness. Jesse asks him, if all right, frog
in my throat, you should kiss it too much kissing frogs,
it'll turn into him friends. Hey, if that's all it takes.

(14:11):
Jesse asks him if they'll be doing a triple date
for New Year's and Joey admits, not yet, but I
still have t through Z and he holds up his
address book for reference. He reminds him that he can't
miss the party at the station, and Joey asks if
Danny's going to be baby New Year again, and Danny
shakes his head. Not after that wicked diaper rash I

(14:32):
got last year.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
You it reminds me of the AI baby video that's
going around. Oh that it creeps me out.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
It was cute, like the first couple of seconds are cute,
and then I was just disturbed.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Now from the second the bob baby popped up, I
was like, nop, not here for this, not here for it?
What is happening?

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, that was a baby with a mullet. The baby
like the day the baby is Joey looked really cute.
But I was terrified. The baby's cute give her terrifying.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Just I don't know. It weirds my eye anyway, the baby, Yeah,
don't it's making people into babies.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
AI is a I can be very creepy. I do
agree with this. So everyone hounds Joey to continue with
the phone calls so he can find a date. Joey
obliges and calls the next person in his book. Someone
on the other end answers, and Joey asks to speak
to Mary trabulous, I mean with fabulous. He smiled. His

(15:30):
smile fades as he repeats, Oh it's sister Mary. Now,
Oh well, you got a date for New Year's Eve.
Sister Mary says something on the other end, so Joey
puts her on a brief hold to ask his friends, Hey,
you want to skip the party and go to mass
And he has met with silence. Poor Joey, Like this
is only the opening scene.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
I already feel bad for him, Like he's just and
they have your friends standing there awkwardly listening.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
I know it's given smug.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Mary, watch your failure. Yeah, anyway, I just.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
I feel bad for him this whole episode.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Well, but it's I'm telling you that the cartoon voices
are killing it.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, that it's enough, is enough.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Let's see how this episode of Chris is okay because
we might find somebody that doesn't doesn't hate that.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
There is a match for everyone out there, that is right,
That is the lesson here. Yes, so up in the
girls room, Comet is balancing a treat on his nose
when DJ instructs, go ahead, give it a try, and
on command, the dog flips the treat into the air
and catches it in his mouth.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
That's part of the show. Ye're so cute, right, he's
so normal. I was like, oh, look at you comment.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
He's just so good, such a good boy. Everyone's impressed.
The audience claps, and everyone is just overjoyed. Michelle asks
her sisters, how does he do that? DJ's not sure,
so she thinks they should give it a try. All
three girls place treats on their noses and try to
copy Comet's trick, but no success there. Just then Kimmy

(17:02):
walks in wearing billiard pool balls on her shorts.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah that was a choice that was there was there was, Yeah,
billiard balls.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
It's it's here, like it's we've arrived at the point
of Kimmy's just fully wacky with the clothing. It's full
gibbler now, like there's it's halfway through season four. We
are full gibbler, Like I just cringe when I see
myself now.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
But wait, did it had a matching jacket too, didn't it? No,
this one didn't have a matching I'm thinking I'm thinking
of that denim outfit you had on like I think
maybe last.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Episode then the Missus trunch bowl outfit or no different.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
It was like a denim skirt and a and a
and a denim jacket and it had just sort of
weird patterns all over it, but very bright color.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh right, yeah, you know, I.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Like not to be confused with billiard.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
Ball pants or or the Mermaid. But went Onesie, like
there's a to choose from here. Yeah yeah, so, Kimmy comments, great,
I'm just in time for stupid Tanner tricks and stuff.
Doesn't miss a beat. Here's a good New Year's relution
for you, resolution for you move to Costa Rica. Kimmy responds,

(18:18):
just for that, you're not invited to my New Year's
Eve party. Kind of weak, kind of weak jabs. You know,
we've done better.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
It was a week. Yeah, I moved to Costa Rica.
Coast Rica is lovely and I.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Would want to go to the sloths there, Like, why
wouldn't you want to go to Costa Rica? Right? Yeah.
So DJ is shocked to hear that Kimmy's parents are
allowing this party. Kimmy explains, they said I could have
it as long as it was limited to a small,
intimate gathering of my closest personal friends, which is exactly
what I put on the flyers. I feel like Kimmy's

(18:50):
whole purpose this season is just to have parties to
lure DJ into something else, you know, like the shape
up a party.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
They balance each other out, Like DJ's so like straight
out and Kimmy's just like, come on, that's go to
a rager at my head. Yeah, suck gets a good friend.
It's got to balance each other out. Somebody's got to
be like this is a terrible idea.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
It's true, we do balance each other out. So Kimmy
hands a flyer to DJ and then walks off, telling
DJ she will see her there. DJ takes a look
at the flyer and reads out loud, cute boys admitted free.
She grins and admits good idea, but Stephanie bursts her bubble.
Did we forget who's spending New Year's Eve babysitting me?

(19:30):
And Michelle? DJ refuses to believe it. Steph wonders, who
needs a party full of cute boys when you can
ring in the New Year with your sweet, adorable sisters.
And to top it off, she and Michelle give DJ
big smiles and eyebrow raises to seal the deal.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
Once they knew I could do that with my eyebrows,
like then, yeah, they were like, do that. It's funny, Yeah,
it is.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
It's so funny to see you raise an eyebrows. It's
it's fantastic. Uh So, in respe this, DJ yells out
Dad and storms out of the room. Immediately after, stephan
Michelle both shout Dad in unison and follow DJ out
the door. In the kitchen, poor Joey is still going

(20:19):
through the numbers in his address book, desperately trying to
find a date for New Year's Now he's calling Barbara Zorek,
which means he is nearing the end of his contact list.
Barbara's mother answers the call and tells him that Barbara
moved to Alaska. So Joey changes his approach and tries
to make a move on missus Zorrek instead.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Okay, it's choice.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
He's desperate. He's just desperate that this poor guy, I'd like.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Why does he have to miss the party if he
doesn't have New Year's Yeah, there's plenty of people at
the station party that he could meet and introduce himself to.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Right, just go stag like, this isn't a critical thing
to have, just anyone to go, Like, just go with
your friend. You know, it's fine.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
It's that New Year's hype up. You know, you got
to have someone to GISs it midnight.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
So much pressure at New Year's I hate it.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
I do.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
It's one of my least favorite holidays. So unfortunately missus
zoric is busy as well. So Joey says, well, maybe
next year, and he hangs up. That's when DJ, stephan
Michelle all come running down the stairs yelling for their dad.
Danny rushes into the room with concern. DJ immediately starts
to explain Kimmy's having a big New Year's Eve party.

(21:28):
I know I promised to babysit Michelle and Stephanie, but
just for one night. Can't we put them in a
kennel or something. Danny responds, that's a terrible thing to
say about your sisters. Besides, kennel's are very expensive.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Because now we're worrying about money.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
In the South, they renovated the basement, they've gone on.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Vacation, but seventy five dollars dog kennels. That's where Danny
draws the line.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Hey, you know, can't waste that money.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
It's true.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
So Joey chimes in, don't worry, I have no life.
Babysit them. Dj runs up to Joey and embraces him, saying,
I love you, thank you for having no life out
Yeah right, I know for Joey, I know. She runs
back upstairs and Jesse makes his way into the living room. Next,

(22:18):
he asks Joey if he has a date for New
Year's Eve yet, and Joey grins, yep, I got two
of them. He looks over to Stephan Michelle and exclaims
we are going to have one happy New Year's Eve,
and Steph exclaims all right, and Michelle copies her all right,
and then Michelle wonders what is New Year's Eve? Steph
summarizes it as the funnest party of the year and

(22:40):
tells Michelle that they will get to stay up late
and scream Happy New Year. Michelle copies Steph and screams
Happy New Year over and over and over again. Stephanie
finally gets her to stop and reminds her it's not
New Year's Eve yet. Michelle matter of factly states, I
know that, silly, I'm just practicing, and Steph gives her

(23:00):
a fake smile before walking out. Michelle follows behind, shouting
Happy New Year over and over and over again. This
is like the mimicking she's done this bit before. Yeah,
this shadow game. Jesse continues his conversation with Joey, admitting
that he hates the thought of him missing out on
this party. Joey sighs, what's the point. The clock will

(23:24):
strike midnight and Danny will kiss his girlfriend, Jesse will
kiss his fiance, and Joey will go into the pathetic
bit where he wraps his arms around himself and pretends
he's making out with someone.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Danny tells him he's just in a little slump. Things
will turn around, and Joey wonders when that will be.
He wants to marry the girl of his dreams, have
a couple of kids, and know that he'll always have
a date. On New Year's Eve, the audience aws as
Joey hangs his head and walks downstairs to his room.
Jesse approaches Danny and declares, got to get that boy

(24:00):
a woman, and Danny nods in agreement. Okay, I hate
this for joe Like this is I know. I hate
this for him, Like, give him. He needs a solid girlfriend,
a solid a solid career something.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
I think what it is is that when women are like, hey,
so where do you live and he's like, in my
friend's basement, people are like, I don't know, that's a
deal breaker. Yeah, but they haven't seen that the basement's
actually the nicest news part.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
It's the biggest room in out it's the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
And he's got a gigantic attic.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Please yeah, yeah, no, poor poor Joey. Yeah, I feel
bad for him. So next in the attic, Jesse is
fiddling with a poster. Well, Danny tells him Joey is
never going to agree to make a tape for a
video dating service, and Jesse agrees, that's why we don't
tell him. I have a plan.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
He shows you I mean I was unsay, do you
remember because we were children? But no, I don't. It's
literally the it's like like the original Tinder.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Like so you would have to record.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, have you ever seen like real ones?

Speaker 2 (25:10):
No, this is a foreign, foreign world to me, So no,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
They're on YouTube. It's it's worth of you. Oh yeah,
it's it's not only just for like the time of
it of like the eightiesiness of it, but just the
cringe the cringe factor is yeah, but no, they would
people would like answer a few questions so you could
see their personality, you know, and often it was people

(25:36):
that did not have a personality at all. Right, you
want to share prob Yeah, and you go tell like
the people kind of what you were interested in, and
then you'd get a tape of different submissions of people
that sort of met that very criteria, and then you'd
have to watch the tape that's commendments. It takes a

(25:59):
lot of swiping left or right not No.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Yeah, it's so easy now with apps and phones, but
back then you really had to put like do a
whole setup, like a camera setup.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Multiple something was as most people didn't do video dating.
It was kind of like, oh that where you went
if you couldn't meet somebody. Now it's the opposite. No
one meets anybody in real life because they're all on
the apps. Yep, yep.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
The tide has changed, that's for sure. Yeah, this was
this was very old school. Jesse shows off the permit
teeth poster that he has cut a hole into, and
he places the cutout directly in front of a video
camera so it's hidden. They will put Joey in the
chair directly in front of the camera so he can
be recorded without his knowledge. Who came up with this crime?

(26:45):
I was like, Jesse, this is a terrible idea.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
Attempt to hide it very well. You've got such gigantic
attic you could you could mount something into one of
the roof.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
Support beams, anything, anything but the permit teeth pressure board.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
I feel like the attic got even bigger. I imagine it.
I was like, and they were only.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Using that one little section of it.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah. The because it's so big. It's a nightmare to
shoot in, because it's so deep that like any directors like,
if I do that, I can't see him with the lights.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yep, yep. The booms don't reach that far.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
So, yeah, that's how big the attic is massive, the.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Size of the living room basically. Yeah, So Danny is flabbergasted.
You feel good about all this underhanded trickery, Jesse's miles Yes,
and that's good enough for Danny. So Danny jumps onto
the intercom that we have never seen before and tells
Joey they need him up in the attic so they

(27:46):
can have a talk with him.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Have we seen it before?

Speaker 2 (27:49):
We've seen a baby monitor in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Well, that's right, it was the baby monitor. I was like, oh, no,
we have we've seen that. Yeah, it was a baby monitors.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
I've seen the intercom.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
This is a very strategically Yeah, and now that we've
got a student up there.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
It makes sense the house needs an intercom.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
People, and intercoms were very big in the eighties. I
remember every like house that you would go into when
you were like looking, you know at what open houses
all had the intercom.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah. That that was a sign of wealth. Like if
you had an intercom, that means you lived in a
big house, right, totally. So Joey nervously asks what kind
of emergency? Jesse shouts from across the room, none of
your business, get up here. He quickly makes some finishing
touches onto the setup and fixes his hair before starting

(28:35):
the video. Danny and Jesse introduce themselves to the dating candidates.
Before introducing Joey Gladstone, Jesse explains that Joey would never
join one of these dating services himself because he wouldn't
want to look desperate. Danny gives him a look, and
Jesse realizes his mistake. He tries to right his wrongs
by telling the women they're not desperate at all, but

(28:57):
he's just digging himself into a deeper hole. Son takes
over again, like I'm cringing at this. Who has friends
introducing them them on? Like this is so bad on
so many When.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
You're illegally recording someone's reaction and trying to trick them
into a date, you know, you've got to do some
things that you wouldn't normally do, like any of that,
all of it, all of it is a bad idea.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
None of this was smart, right, But that's this is fair.
Jo's gotta work right. So Danny asks to the camera,
who is Joey Gladstone? Well, if I was a woman,
that's a big if. By the way I'd say, Joey
is a major hunk of beef. Then Joey's voice sounds
from below, so Danny and Jesse hastily wrap up their introductions.

(29:46):
Jesse reminds the viewers that Joey doesn't know they're taping,
so they're going to see the realist version of him.
On cue, Joey runs up the stairs wearing a plaid
robe and towel wrapped around his neck. His hair is
wet and he has shaving cream all over his face
and neck. He looks at his friends with a worried
look and asks if they're okay. I'm still stuck on
the intercom. So was the inner com in the bathroom

(30:09):
like they they intercolmed down to and he stepped out
of the shower to answer the intercom? Where is this interview?

Speaker 1 (30:15):
I guess I have to know. I maybe, well, I
guess maybe the intercom is in just the downstairs basement
and the and you would hear it. Maybe he would shower,
maybe with the door. I don't know why, because there's
no door on the basement.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
So so he just ran out of the shower. I'm
overthinking this.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Ran the flights of stairs and into the attic. Wow, yeah,
this is this is deception in record time. Might I
add like, yeah, no, that was made a pretty good time.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
He's he's got quads of steel apparently, just uh yeah
going up all those steps. So they both guys give
Joey a big smile, and Danny proudly points out how
Joey Gladstone always puts others first. Joey asks what the
emergency is and Jesse points out that they have a
new chair. He forces Joey to take a seat in it,

(31:10):
and Joey wonders why he was forced out of the
shower to look at a chair. Jesse shrugs, I don't
make a move without you. After all, you do own
half of this production company. You're a very successful stand
up comic. You enjoy hockey, the Three Stooges, and long
walks along the beach. This isn't suspicious at all, right now,

(31:30):
this isn't weird. Yeah. Danny grabs the razor out of
Joey's hand and starts to shave him, saying, underneath all
this shaving cream is a handsome and manly face. Jesse
agrees and starts to brush Joey's hair to show the
viewers how nice it is. Joey is starting to catch
on to their weird behavior. He asks why they keep
talking to the easel. Danny plays it off like it's

(31:53):
a joke.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
They're really terrible at this.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
This is not that I know. They're just banking on
the patch that Joey is dense and.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
He like it's work. It's working. He's not blind, yes,
it just it's so bad.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
So Jesse wipe's remaining the remaining shaving cream off of
Joey's face and asks the camera doesn't he clean up nice?
Joey takes a hard look at his friends and admits,
you guys are scaring me, and he slowly backs away
from in the rolling chair and tells them he's gonna
leave now and if they try to chase him, he'll
scream like a girl. Jesse and Danny laugh it off

(32:31):
and return their attention back to the camera. Danny grabs
a headshot of Joey and shows it to the camera,
but it's upside down. Nevertheless, he tells all of the
women to call now. Operators are standing by, like, is
this really the best storyline they could come up with
to introduce this? Christine character, Like there wasn't any other
scenario besides I'm tracking him into a video dating service,

(32:55):
like have them meet in a comics store, you know,
or have them I don't know. She could be like
his high school sweetheart that he reconnects.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
With years later. It's not as pathetic, and I think
that's the you know what I mean, I mean truly
like that's It's part of the whole point is that
it's like, you know, Joey's sort of which sucks for Joey,
you know, Yeah, but he does live in a basement
with pop Eye puppets, so I know.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
It's hard to get past the puppets and the.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
And the always half a production company somehow.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Yeah, that's in his head.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
It's basically he never has to leave his house. That's
not good either.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
He needs to get out. No, this he's just he's
they're writing him very one dimensional, and I yes, I
felt bad for him this whole episode because I'm like,
give the guy something, like, don't write him so pathetic,
because I believe that Joey has a lot of great
character character traits and he does not really highlight but looking.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Dude, he's a stand up Yeah, he's got to be
like stand up clubs all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Yeah, Well, and everyone else is kind of had an arc,
like Jesse has finally come to terms with living in
a house full of kids, Danny's getting over his dead
wife and dating again, and then there's Joey who's still
doing Popeye voices.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
And can't find a girl Like this is right, I
think that's kind of been story life. Actually, yeah, we're
season four and it's still season Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
Justice for Joey, man, I'm yeah still waiting.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, justice for Joey. He needs he needs a yeah,
and it needs a different storyline.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah he does. Uh, or he could have said this
just occurred to me. Uh, don't we here in Fuller House, Yes,
Joey and Kimmy have a scene before the engagement party
or something, and Jesse or Joey talks about his home
life how it wasn't great. His parents were divorced. He's
mentioned that a full House before, so he didn't have

(34:48):
great role models growing up of a solid like you know,
partnership marriage. So but there was nothing, like no backstory,
there was nothing like I needed more, I need something
to sing my teeth into.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Wasn't really important in eighties sitcoms. It was now there wasn't.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah, but I don't like it. I don't give me something,
give me something.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
I'm not. I'm with you. But joke's gotta work. Jokes,
it's gotta be something that you can watch with the
sound off and still kind of get the point.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Yeah, doing your ironing or putting away laundry, and then
still follow the storyline. You're true. Yeah, that's that's exactly
what this is for. So down in Joey's room, Jesse
and Danny run downstairs to find Joey cutting a newspaper
into tiny pieces. He explains that he's making confetti for
his big New Year's Eve party with Steph and Michelle.

(35:37):
He decides to show off how wild this party is
going to be by throwing his homemade confetti into the air,
and then he imitates the trumpet sound to auld long
sign that that's that song. Yes, Danny snaps him back
to reality. Remember the other day when we had you

(35:57):
test that new chair. Joey gets nervous that they're going
to try to shave him again. Right, he has a
right to be.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
He was strangely accosted by his friends in a basement
who were talking to a poster be a little concerned too.
I'd start, I'd put a door up. I'll tell you
that much, right, that's yeah, that's the order of business.
Paul a locksmith and a lumberment erected door. So Jesse reveals, sorry, Jody, jokey,

(36:32):
I just my first word would have been billed. But
I'm glad that you said the other one.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
You could build a door. You can erect a door.
You know, there's all different, all kinds of ways to
build a door called lang sign. So Jesse reveals the truth.
They enrolled him in a video dating service. Joey is upset.
How dare you so object me to that kind of
public humiliation without my personal consent?

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Yeah, yes, that's the right reaction. Yes, that is yeah,
I believe that's actually in like the legal ease of
it all is. Yeah, you can't subject a person to
public mmuiliation without their personal absolutely.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Jesse responds, I have a tape here of women who
want to meet you, and Joey's attitude quickly changes. God
bless you fellas roll that tape. So Danny responds by
doing an impression of his own, pretending he's Chuck Woolery
on the Love Connection. Jesse plays the tape and the
first woman to pop up is Darlene. At first, she

(37:34):
seems quite normal until she mentions that she's twenty four
hundred and twenty years old and hails from the planet Zoran.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
One of those people like that.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
Joey wants to skip her and see if any Earthlanes
like him instead, so the next woman is Ginger. Her
reason for being on this service, her parole officer says
she needs new friends. Joey is officially uninterested at this point,
but Jesse fast forwards to the next candidate. This woman's
name is Christine. She admits her friends signed her up

(38:08):
for this dating service for Christmas, when in reality she
just wanted a foot massager. Joey is infatuated with her
and decides he's going to give Christine a call. The
eyes follow him over to the phone and chant Joey, Joey, Joey.
Christine answers, and she asks Joey if he was the
chair tester, to which he says yes. Then he mentions,

(38:29):
I know it's New Year's Eve, but uh. He pauses
and his eyes go wide before repeating, you're not busy
that's great. But then he falters, well, wait, I'm busy.
I could make us dinner. We could hang out here.
Somehow Christine agrees to this.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Offer, right, I was like sure, I mean, like even
with abs, now you're talking about sure, random stranger man,
I'll show up to your house on New Year's Eve
and let you cook me dinner with random children. I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Children he's not related to. Yeah, there's so many red flags,
like Christine, what are you?

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Christine? What are you doing?

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Run?

Speaker 2 (39:07):
Christine? Right?

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Run a background chat.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
In a public well lit you know.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Yeah, public place, well lit. Tell your friends where you're going,
don't just yeah go over to their house, Oh Christine again,
A storyline that could have gone very differently with just
like a slight left turn, yes, a different background music. Yeah,
And then it becomes a thriller.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
Yes, So Joey is very excited. He tells her that
he'll call her back with all the details, and he
hangs up, and then he.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Invites her down to the basement. You know what I mean, Hey,
come once you come to my house and go in
the basement. No, that's when you run.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
This is like an instruction manual for like serial killers,
you know, come to my house for dinner.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
No one will.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
We'll be here except two children that I'm not related to.
So Danny and Jesse are pumped. Now Joey has a
date for New Year's but Joey takes it a step further.
My search is over. I have finally found the girl
of my dreams. He walks over to the TV, where
Christine's face is still frozen on the screen, and admits,

(40:20):
I think I'm in love boy.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
I think I now know why Joey hasn't been dating anyone.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
If this is the way he had, I.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
Can see why women are like, you know, that's a
little much.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Between that and the voices. It's like, dude, he just
needs to take a step back, Like, just just take it.
Dial it down to a two, please, right, Yeah, he's
at eleven mm hm, so down in the living room.

(40:53):
Dj runs downstairs telling her dad, I'm going to Kimmy's party.
See you next year, and Danny, who is all dressed
up in a tucks gives his daughter a kiss and
reminds her of her eleven thirty pm curfew. She reminds
him it's New Year's and he corrects himself, Sorry, twelve
oh five. DJ pokes funded him, Dad, don't be such

(41:13):
a dad. It's going to be a quiet little party
at Kimmy's and Danny can prove otherwise. He found one
of Kimmy's flyers on his windshield at the market, so
DJ aims for a compromise. I'll be home at four
in the morning, Danny offers twelve thirty, and it's a deal.
Danny makes his way back over to Cindy, who is
also dressed up in a beautiful gown. I'm kind of

(41:35):
digging these formal looks. You know, people don't like people
dress up for New Years anymore. It's kind of yeah.
I mean I certainly don't. I'm asleep by eleven, but yeah,
I liked that they're putting effort into it dressing up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
My question though, Oh, I guess Rusty was always gonna
stay because DJ was going to watch Okay. I was like,
oh yeah, I was thinking, like, what was she going
to do with Rusty if Joey wasn't saying home but
they were all gonna be the re teacher?

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Well, no wonder. DJ got the heck out of there,
like she's like, I'm not watching the menace and.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
The sisters sociopath of a kid, and she doesn't get
paid enough for that, you know.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
So Cindy looks at Rusty and reminds him you're gonna
be on your best behavior. No water balloons, no food fights,
and no indoor campfires. Rusty is not thrilled with these rules,
so he asks, can't I come with you guys to
the party. Danny ruffles the boy's hair and says, not
in a million years. Michelle and stephan into the room,

(42:31):
and Michelle is still hung up on shouting Happy New
Year over and over and over. Steph reminds her to
only say it at midnight, and Michelle sighs, give me
a break. I can't tell time.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
I can only write session notes. I can't tell time.
I can only take notes after my therapy, right like.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
Her internal jock stops at fifty Yes. True. So Rusty
approaches Stephanie with a smirk. Guess what happens at midnight?
You get a New Year's kiss and he makes kissing
noises for emphasis. Stephanie's face sours ew gross, I'd rather
kiss a frog. She tries to run away, but Rusty

(43:11):
follows after her, saying ribbitt.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
And then she turns around and punches him.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
You see, you're fighting off the urge to do that.
I was.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
I was like, okay, yeah, ghost, She's like yeah, like
I'm gonna kiss.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Excuse me, sorry, Yeah. Steph's not having it. Like, she's
not having it, not at all. She's a strong woman.
She knows what she wants and doesn't want yes. So
Jesse and Becky passed by Michelle on the way out
to the living room. Jesse is also dressed in tucks
and Becky's wearing a black, sparkly gown. At that moment,
Joey walks into the house and greets his well dressed friends.

(43:47):
He carries a grocery bag and announces I wanted to
get the perfect dinner for my perfect girl, Christine. I
don't know her last name yet. Jesse tries to snap
him back to reality. I'm happy you're excited for your eight,
but I don't want you to be disappointed. If there's
no bells and fireworks going off. The odds of love
at first sight are pretty slim. Pal On que, Christine

(44:10):
enters the house. On que Christine enters the house, and
her focus goes directly to Joey. Joey sees her and
falls into a similar trance. They approach each other and
say hi, already looking madly in love. Jesse sees this,
it admits, then again, what the hell do I know?
We've established that not in terms of relationships. He's not

(44:34):
the one to be giving advice about no, no, no,
long term relationships.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
Yeah, because he's done the same exact thing the first
couple seasons. So we had Jesse like in love with
some you know, somebody. Every week.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Let's get married in Tahoe, let's get married in Vegas.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Let's get exactly right, exactly And now he's like, you
should slow down. That's rich. Six weeks ago, buddy, you
were you were reno, or you were riding your motorcycle
on top.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Of a building. Yes, like, just take a seat, Jesse,
just cool it for a minute. So next in the kitchen,
Joey and Christine are setting up the dinner table together
and they're figuring out all the things they have in common.
Christine even does her own Bullwinkle impression, which is enough
to win Joey over.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Like you said, there's a there's a nut for every bolt.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
They're really it disproves it.

Speaker 4 (45:27):
It does.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
He beams, this is so amazing. Two total strangers forced
to join a video dating service against their will discover
they have the exact same interests. He figures that she
must be a stand up comedian as well, but Christine
explains that she's actually a veterinarian at the zoo and
Joey jokes so I. They lean in for a kiss,

(45:51):
and after they pull apart, Joey does his bullwinkle impression.
That was so beautiful. She giggles at his goofiness. Talk
about a mood killer, dude, you have to stop with
these impressions after you kiss a woman, like, come on, Oh,
nothing kills the mood faster than.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
Nothing kills the mood faster than a cartoon moves, the
well known fact. Geez. But also, how long has she
been in the house?

Speaker 2 (46:22):
An hour?

Speaker 1 (46:24):
If even that?

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Yes, probably I would say fifteen minutes.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
The whole thing is moving very quick, and I'm and
that's me saying it. So I've made very stupid relationship
choices and timeline. So I think it's going too fast.
Something's wrong.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
It's record speed, yes, yeah, going super fast even first,
like you'd never seen a girl before. Yeah, he's like
an alien who's like whoa, You're like, look at this,
how we do this on Earth? I'm sorry. So next
in the living room, Rusty, Steph and Michelle are slumped
on the furniture, but rusty main mission is to get

(47:01):
on stuff's nerves. Rigorously applies chapstick while staring directly at her.
Then he takes it a step further and uses some banaka,
still maintaining eye contact, and.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Burns every taste but off of his tongue in the process.
I can just straight rubbing alcohol with one mint leaf
thrown in.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
Dude, banaco is great, man. Nothing gave you fresher breath instantly,
right fresher breath, and probably just like scared your gums
back into your.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Oh it hurt.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
Oh man, this is the Rusty scoots closer to her,
and Steph decides to move her party hat from her
head to her mouth so she can shield herself from
any more of his advances.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
That is a brilliant idea. I'm gonna get that and
just walk around with it.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Yeah, Steph is smart enough, you know she.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
Things can get weird and it just just so that
nobody gets any idea.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
No, wearing a party hat over your mouth is a
clear indicator that you do not want any sort of
human content. Obviously, people like, oh, I get it. Yeah, yeah,
I've been there at all, judge. So Christine and Joey
make their way out to the living room hand in hand,
and Christine announces there's only three more minutes until midnight.
Joey realizes that Michelle is sleeping, so he gently shakes

(48:22):
her awake. She slowly opens her eyes and says Happy
New Year, Happy New Year. Joey laughs and tells her
it's still not time yet. She frowns. This is taking forever.
Preach girlfriend. Yes, New Year's Eve is the longest day.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
I'm like two more I do.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
I hate it. I hate that holiday. It's just it
can't end fast enough. So just then DJ and Ricky
the paper Boy walk in. Joey asks what happened to
the party, and DJ explains Jimmy's dad freaked out and
sent everyone home. Ricky adds just because a few extra
guests showed up. Joey wonders how many extra people came,

(49:02):
and DJ tells him the police estimated four hundred. Wow,
I feel like you would have.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
Heard that, like Wow. I mean it's either right over
the back fence or next door, whichever one.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Yeah, Like, how did they not hear these people in
the backyard? Did the Ostrich run them off?

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Like?

Speaker 2 (49:22):
I don't know, how do you They can't have him.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
In the backyard because of the Ostrich. Yes, it's contained
in the house.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Everyone's in the house all right, So Jesse, Becky, Danny,
and Cindy burst through the front door. Danny asks the
family what the heck is going on outside? He estimated
about four hundred people are out there. Joey says, yeah,
that's a great estimate, and then asks the question, we're
all thinking, what are you guys doing here? Jesse tells

(49:49):
him they wanted to ring in the new year with
their family, the people they really love. The codependency is
strong in this house. It is still strong, very strong
in the full house.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Jesse examines the room and adds, like our paper boy, Ricky,
and Ricky waves at him, completely unaware. Hey, dude, next
we have a very oddly placed commercial break.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Ricky, at least you've met, you know him, you know
his nick. Christine is really the odd one. She've never
met this woman in your life.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Right, she's been there fifteen minutes.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
All right, Well, at this point she's been there a
couple hours. But yeah, so crazy aperboy Evening TV.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Hey, Michelle is wide awake. Now dressed in her Happy
New Year headband and Christmas colored dress. She complains to
the family, I'm wearing the hat. Where's the party? Becky says,
it's almost time. Then she reminds the family to go
get their confetti and noisemakers ready for midnight. Rusty slyly says,

(50:50):
and your lips to Stephanie. Danny tells Cindy, I just
called the phone lady and synchronized my watch. There's precisely
eleven seconds to go the phone lady, I missed the time.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Late the phone lady, Yes, you could get there. What
was the what was the number you put it? It
was like two one one or something, it was something.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
Yeah, it was like just a simple three digits.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
But and you would call and be like, the time
is eleven fifty two am, and then it would then
be it. It was a very you had to rely
on that.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Yeah, that's how there was no like Apple interface sinking
watching clocks, and we had to had to talk to
the phone lady, if your watch died, that was it? Yeah,
you're off the whole day. I wonder who that lady is, Like,
do you think she gets royalties? Well not anymore, but
did she how much was she paid for that job? Like?
Does she do another voiceover work? I got questions?

Speaker 1 (51:45):
I don't know. All right, well you should have her
on the show.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Let's get her on the show. So Danny turns on
the TV, which is doing a New Year's countdown. They
all join in counting backwards from ten. When no one's looking,
Stephanie takes a giant out of an onion. Everyone breaks
into a celebration for the new Year, and all of
the grown ups kiss DJ hugs Ricky, Michelle kisses comment.

(52:09):
Stephanie grins at Rusty ready for my kiss, and he's appalled.
Are you crazy? You really think I would kiss you?
I just love torturing you?

Speaker 1 (52:19):
And then she punches in it.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Steph smirks, well, in that case, she gets up close
and personal so he can smell her onion breath. When
she says Happy New Year. Rusty gags at the smell,
but he has no time to recover before Stephanie shoves
him onto the couch and plants a kiss right on him.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Take that.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Take that that was aggressive, Like Stephanie was not having it.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
No, steph doesn't play. She's like, are you're coming for me? Yes,
I'm coming for you. So great.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
I loved when you talked about this with Jordan on
the podcast last week. That was a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
That was great. First kiss for you, first kiss for
him to Yeah, and he remembered that I bit into
an apple. Oh yeah, and that's so I was like,
looking at it, I was like, wait, what is it?
Trying to figure out what was actually like in my hand.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Yeah, it was hard to I mean, you couldn't tell no, no,
look like an onion.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
It's like an onion.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Good prop work there. So Rusty gets up as soon
as he can and yells for his mommy. Danny witnessed
the whole thing and asks, stuff, where'd you learn that?
And then he notices DJ still embracing Ricky. He darts
over to them and forces them apart, while suggesting they
just shake hands and say good night.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Everybody just makes out in front of each other in
this house.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
Well, they learned it from Jesse, you know, like this
is the originator yes.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Yeah, this isn't how you greet people in your home. Huh.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
You know, Jesse is like New Year's Eve. This is
just a Tuesday for me.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
So Danny makes his way over to Michelle and tells
her it's time for bed. She wonders what happened to
the party, and Danny explains New Year's is over. I'm sorry,
but she doesn't understand. Where's the cake? Where's the present?
And Becky says they don't do that on New Year's.
Michelle's disappointment is palpable. I stayed up all night to
kiss a dog. This is nuts.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Michelle's attitude is really everyone's attitude about New Year's. Yes,
it's over hyped. At some point, like in your twenties,
you're like, this is gonna be great, and it never is,
and then it always never works out. You're wherever you
are at like ten thirty pm. You're like, no, the
better place is gonna be somewhere else, and then you're
stuck outside or driving in your car at midnight, and

(54:31):
then everyone goes home, and then the nights of us
it's terrible.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
The New Year's is even either full of bad decisions
or boredom and people just want to go to bed
like there's just no middle ground.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, but I agree with you. Show where's the cake,
where's the presence? Yes, make this holiday couple night to
hang out with your dog is totally acceptable.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
Of course there should be cake, Yeah, should be Yeah.
If you're gonna stay up till midnight, you need some sustenance.
So cake was a requirement. So in the backyard, Joey
and Christine are hugging and happily swaying back and forth.
When Joey admits, so far nineteen ninety one has been
the best year of my life, she agrees, saying she
doesn't want this night to end. Joey eagerly looks into

(55:12):
her eyes and says, we got to keep the magic going.
She asks any ideas, and Joey thinks for a moment
before blurting out, let's get married.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
Don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it, don't
do it.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
Christine laughs at the suggestion, considering they've only known each
other for a few hours, right, but Joey is firm
in this decision. She gets giddy and admits, Okay, I'm
in let's do it. See bad decisions on New Year's Eve.
This is what happens. Joey realizes this is crazy, but

(55:47):
he tells her they can head to Tahoe tonight. Christine
exclaims that's even crazier. I'll go home and pack. They
both say crazy in unison and she gives him a
kiss before leaving, but he grabs her and confesses, I
really like you. She grins and tells Joey that she
really likes him too. They kiss once again, and she
tells him she'll be right back. That was whiplash, man,

(56:12):
that's just a lie.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
I don't the timeline of this is I'm like, wait,
are what I just don't. I'm like, I don't like
has Joey ever We've seen this in Jesse, but we don't.
Really Joey doesn't necessarily tend to be but I guess
that's why it's all the more alarming for everyone. Yeah,
he's not.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
He hasn't been known to be an impulsive person, right,
But this is showing desperation again. They really want to
convey that he's a desperate character. And again that makes
me feel sad because I'm like, you could have a
really fulfilling life without a girlfriend. You know, this isn't
the end all be all of everything.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
You don't you don't need to like yeah, I mean
he wasn't even invited to the party. If he came
by himself, that sucks, I know, very yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Not okay, but this is moving very fast. For twenty
two minute show, this is still moving extremely fast.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Yeah, it is so fast. And did she just saund
her off through the backyard.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
Yeah, she just left through the gibbler a little pet
the Ostrich head on.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
I was like, she came through the front door, right
and now just going on the Okay, yeah, that's how
that's how it works.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
She's going to operate from the backyard.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well it's just one big thing that
sort of wraps around.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Yeah. So we cut to the kitchen where Jesse, Becky,
and Danny are gathered together. When Joey bursts through the door,
he announces, great news, you guys, Christine and I are
going to Tahoe tonight and we're getting married. His three
friends look at him like he's crazy. When they don't respond,
Joey pretends to hit a microphone and repeats his announcement.

(57:48):
Danny is the first to say something I'm about to
do this to you because I love you like a brother.
He walks up to his best friend and pretends to
slap him, asking are you crazy. Joey argues, I know
I'm doing but Becky is the next to chime in, no,
you don't. I know you've been a tad lonely lately,
but you don't have to marry the first woman that

(58:08):
walks by in a party hat out brutal?

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Is it Christine standing here?

Speaker 2 (58:15):
She left? That's right, she just left.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
What am I thinking?

Speaker 2 (58:18):
She left to go back? But this is still like this,
This is brutal honesty and maybe he needed it, but dang,
and I guess yeah, out they could have They could
have phrased it a little nicer, though, Joey.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
I mean, look, when you're making an impulsive marriage decision,
your friends tend to uh say some things that are
trying to okay, and you don't listen. No doubt, I'm
just saying in this show, just in the show, just
not speaking from personal experience, not tall so.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Joey argues, but I really like her, and Jesse insists
he takes the reins. Now marriage is here we go.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Jesse's getting on as you might as well get married.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Time for Jesse.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Soapbox everyone right, right, she was a relationship advice. She
gave up, she said this stupid holiday. I'm done.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
She's done, she's asleep. Yep, and so here goes Jesse.
Marriage is a commitment you got to make for the
rest of your life. There's no escape. You're going to
be looking at the same woman's face day after day.
Becky places herself directly in front of Jesse while he's
saying this, and he switches up real quick, which can
be a beautiful thing. Joey's confused at this point. I

(59:33):
thought you and Danny set this whole thing up so
i'd meet the girl of my dreams. He's not wrong,
you know, he's really not wrong. They started all of this, right.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
You guys were the one that cut the hole in
the poster board. Okay, that just led right into everything. Yep,
you guys started this.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
They should take some ownership. Yeah, you know, bad decisions.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
You got him into it, yes, yes, and now they're
just Man explained he didn't invite him to the party
because he didn't have a date, so now he feels
like just to be included with his friend group. He's
got to have somebody. I know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
It's so sad.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
It is. I blame Jesse.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Oh well that's different from any other day.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
No blame Jesse. But somehow that's gonna all be traced
back that it was his bad idea.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
All problems lead back to. So Danny doesn't deny that
they have some culpability here, but it's important that Joey
gets to know Christine first. Joey still can't understand these perspectives.
He questions, why aren't you guys happy for me? Danny clarifies,
we are. We're just a little shocked and overwhelmed and distraught,

(01:00:44):
but in a happy way. Jesse changes his mind, telling
Joey that if he wants to do it, he should. Jesse,
Joey throws his arms in the air, well then I'm going.
Becky gives him a half hearted congratulations, and Danny joins
into giving Joey a hug and say, you're getting married
to Christine? Is it? I always knew you two were

(01:01:04):
meant for each other. Joey happily exclaims, I'm getting married.
They all give a hesitant nod in response, and Joey
says it again. A little less enthusia this time. Then
his face contorts into utter shock. I'm getting married? What
the heck do I know about this girl?

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Here? Have you been? Did you just like, did you
just come out of a blackout?

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
It's like you just will go from a coma? Did yees?

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
You figured that out in one sentence? Yes, the turn
is so.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
The whiplash, Yes, it's very this is very rushed. For
the end of the episode. It's very, very rushed. But whatever,
so on cue. Christine knocks on the door and calls
out for Joey. He tells his friends, well, I know
she's a fast Packersly she's really walking to sance.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
Show you the fine. How are you gonna get home
at twelve fifteen in the heart of San Francisco?

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Right? Did she take a cabby?

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
A nightmare?

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
Oh, traffic would be terrible. All the cabs are taken.
You're right. How did she get back? Well, she didn't
actually pack, we find out, but still to go.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
Okay, that's right, never mind, she didn't actually pack.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
That's it's still very it's still very quick, though, I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Well it's quick because she realized it and then turned
right around, So she didn't actually leave.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
So okay, Okay, she just had an epiphany in the
shape shifting backyard.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Okay, yes, so Christie, she walked for twenty minutes in
one direction and he was like, you know, I should
head back.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Time to head back.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
So Christine walks in, but no luggage is with her.
Joey starts off by saying he needs to talk to her,
and she notices the others, so she leads him out
to the backyard. Christine admits that she needs to talk
to Joey too, and Joey asks if he can go first.
He starts off by saying, I have never been more
excited to meet someone. She tells him she feels the same,

(01:03:03):
but he continues, I just think we should postpone the
wedding until we know each other a little better, and
she grins, that's exactly what I came back here to
tell you. Joey lets out a sigh of relief it
admits he got a little carried away there. He attributed
that to their date, which is the most fun he
has ever had with someone. Christine nods in agreement and asks,

(01:03:24):
so what'll we do tomorrow? And he suggests, let's roller
blade and she playfully nudges him.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
I was gonna say that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
That's a great activity, you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Know, rollerblading. Yeh, it's so nineties.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Yeah, I used to love rollerblading.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
They sit down next to each other, and Joey's enthusiasm
is through the roof. He tells her, I want to
know everything about you, starting with uh, what's your last name?
And that is our show?

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
All right? Okay, you know New Year Now likes.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
Like most Joey centric episodes, I'm left wanting more for Joey.
But yeah, you know they're writing him, Yeah, they're writing him.
Was like juvenile, clueless, lonely, and I just end up
feeling sad.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Yeah I'm not.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
It isn't funny. Joey's a really funny character and this
is not a funny storyline.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Yeah, sort of like oh yeah, lonely and they keep
rubbing it in, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
Like this was giving smug Marrieds from Bridget's diary Bridget
Jones's diary where she talks about the smug marrieds how
they're like, oh yeah I have I have look one
made a teddy bear. Okay, well, smug marrieds is it's
a phrase to describe married people who are smug about
being coupled up and like they look down on the singletons.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
So oh, I don't look down at anybody out there.
I've seen what my friends are going through. Yes. Other
than being great comedic material, it's rough much. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
No, let's cut on some slack you know, you know,
but this was an okay episode.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
It wasn't a uh you know what. Here's the thing though,
This episode was uh first lip to lip contact with
another human being, I mean outside of my family.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
So oh yeah, your first kiss. That that alone makes
it memorable. Yes, since it's true.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
Yeah, and I remember being like mortified that I had
to sort of attack him in it. I and go
for it. But then I was like, just commit, admit
to the bit. Oh and you did?

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
Did you commit?

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
It was so great? I did so a great Did
you have any everywhere he looks? I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Oh that's right, but you do? What is you're everywhere
you look? You can to I've hyped it up to
like if some because I couldn't guess it. So I
really want to know what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
So when Michelle is bummed about staying up uh at
midnight or whatever Christine's hand is on Jesse's shoulder as
he's speaking.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
Christine's hand yes, oh you see.

Speaker 1 (01:06:04):
Her standing behind and like she's in the flower dress
and she has her hand on Jesse's shoulder and I
and again I was like, that's such an odd actor
choice of physicality to do that because you don't really
know him, and you like, it was just a I
was like, what, why is she touching him?

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
Yeah, that is just I.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
Thought about it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
That's a weird.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
It was a strange again, not like an everywhere you
look like oh it's so and so or oh look
at this thing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
And I was just like, wait, you just met these
you met him, you don't even know him, right, Yeah,
it's interesting. I bet the actress was just kind of
really excited to be in a scene with John Stamos,
and so.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
She's like, yeah, just gonna choose here while I'm within
arms reach, I'm touching him.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
Yes, take your chance, girl, take your chance. She's probably
a big like General Hospital Blackie fan, and she's right stems.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
But yeah, that was that was my everywhere you look.
And also that we hear Brian Cale's voice.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
Oh yeah, it's the announcer. That's right, Brian Kale.

Speaker 1 (01:07:09):
Oh that was. And Robin Donnie's ginger as the punk
was hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Yeah, it's just we're all ginger. However, she said it
with that accent ginger. Yeah, so great good. Oh yeah,
that was. It was not a bad episode, not fantastic.

Speaker 1 (01:07:26):
The holidays. We had to have something, yes, to get
us through into nineteen nineteen ninety one, nineteen ninety one,
nineteen ninety one.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
Wow, I am impressed. They dressed the set for Christmas.
But we didn't have a Christmas episode this season, but
they still will.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
But it wasn't dressed like not tan, dressed like DJs
enough to hint that it had been the holidays and
that maybe they had put some things away, because we
know the Tanners take there decorating very seriously. Oh yes,
but I'm amazed. I mean, already by New Year's they
got that stuff back to their gigantic warehouse, clean it

(01:08:04):
up really quick.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
Yeah, they just had the tree and some garlands and
throw that out of and they're done.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Twenty foot tree. You know, it's easy. You know, everything garlanded,
you know, Oh man, they just rip all that down
and just leave a little bit so, you know, it's
still the holidays.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Just to give you, yeah, just to give you an idea,
so you know what month it is in case you
didn't know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Well, it's like, uh, it's like you know the rom
Coms or whatever. Like in every if it's a Christmas movie,
you have to be able to look at every frame
of the film and know that it's Christmas somehow in there.
You have to have some like identifying things now a bow,
a tree, red, something like, you have to know that

(01:08:48):
it's Christmas when you look at it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
So, yeah, the poor art department, the more set deck
person that has sure moves around.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
Like when you're shooting it is just like just rip
it off that wall, stick it over here. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
Oh my gosh, wow wow.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
But but no, this was this is cute. We're in
nineteen ninety.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
One, nineteen ninety one, bring it on, we are older.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Halfway through the season. This was halfway point. That's right,
Oh my god, it's halfway point. It's number thirteen or
wait no.

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Did we have twenty four about halfway well, you know
about were taken episode or two. That's crazy, and then
we're going to be halfway done with the series soon.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
This is flying halfway done because we'll be finishing season four.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
Oh wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
Season four has twenty six episodes. Okay, oh that was
an that was a nice that was a good one.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
That was a nice, fat season.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
Okay, twenty six So yeah, this is right smack dab
in the middle.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
We're halfway through season four.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
Now, remember some of the fan Urito said that season
four was their favorite season. Do you feel like the
season has earned that title yet?

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Not yet? I agree, Well not yeah, not yet. I
I I mean, i'd have to go back and like
look at definitely the like the list of the thirteen
that we've watched so far to kind of dog my memory,
But so far, I don't think that any of them
have really been like oh yeah, maybe one.

Speaker 2 (01:10:12):
Well the shape was one, so shape Up was definitely memorial.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Shape Up was a memorable one. But yeah, other than that,
I'm like, yeah, I kind of you know, some of
the episodes, I'm like, oh yeah, I would have forgot
about that. I mean not yeah, this was the New
Year's First Kiss one. But yeah, yeah, we'll see. I'm
no shame on the Tan Dourito's that love this right.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Now, I'm I'm more curious why they feel that way
if we didn't feel I think.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
As we worked. Yeah, despite that, despite seeing Howie again, they.

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
Still well it's different played by a different actor this time,
brought by a different actor.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
And yeah they should have just cast a different mom.
Why not you know?

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
Oh no, no, no, Debbie Gregor, No, she'll be back.

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
Yeah. Well that was it for today's show. That was fun, cool, Happy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
New Year, Happy new Year, that's right, Happy new Year
in March.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
Right, yes, happy New Year in March. And I agree
there should definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
Be away always.

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
So thank you guys so much for listening to another episode.
We love you fan ritos. Remember, if you guys want
to check us out on Instagram, you can find us
at how Rude Podcast. You can send us an email
at how Rude Tanturritos at gmail dot com. Make sure
you're liking and subscribing to the podcast. That way you
get all the new episodes right when they come out.

(01:11:29):
And check out our our merch store, howarudemerch dot com.
We have been working on that and.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
That's it for this week's episode. For this week, another
one down, Yeah, another one in the books. All right
right here, we go on to nineteen ninety one. Woo, well,
remember everybody, the world is small.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
The house is full.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
Of hidden video cameras behind poster board, which is really
creepy when you think about it. That's that's a.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
Problems so violent.

Speaker 1 (01:12:03):
Yeah, oh, don't have Eddie poster board in that house.

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
Don't trust Jessie period. Oh ye aye yea ye bye