"Yours, Mine and Ours" Recap Season 5, Episode 21

Ahoy, Fanneritos! This week, we're taking a trip to a pirate-themed restaurant where a luxury meal costs $24... That brought us back to the good ole days, where the entire Taco Bell menu cost that much. Plus, we witness a dream-sequence that shows the twins as teenagers! We're here for the relatability and silliness this episode has to offer & it's all right here on How Rude, Tanneritos!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Baby.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hi, what's up? Girlfriend? What's up? I never called you
girlfriend before in my life. Yeah?

Speaker 1 (00:25):
No, girlfriend, Yeah that was it doesn't maybe one of
the whitest things you've done.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, yeah it was cute. No, but you're wrong, but
I'm not wrong.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, what's up?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Girlfriend?

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Oh no, no, no, no no. We're starting out strong,
no killing it already.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah strong. We were just talking. I get to fly.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Today and I'm so excited for its government shutdown?

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, I is anyone even? Is anyone even in the
tower these or is it just like?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Are we all keeping the windows open on the plane
And they're like, holler if you see something?

Speaker 2 (01:05):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:06):
I guess how I don't know, man, And I've got
I'm going to Vegas next week for the new Kids,
so I have my East Coast friends are flying in
Atlanta JFK, like all of the major airports are, and
I'm like, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, they're canceling a lot of flights now too.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
They're getting rid of tons of flights into all the
big cities because there's not They're canceling like, I don't know,
some ten thousand, six thousand flights something like that.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
I'm stressed about it and I'm not even flying anywhere,
so this is you're.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Just like, look, me and my little carry on. Yeah
we can. We can live in the airport if we
need to. I don't want to. You're very resourceful. I'll
be okay, you'll be fine.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Yeah, they'll be fine, So no problem.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
But it should be fun, going to do some fun
comedy stuff and.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Christine Lican is going to be there with me.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
It's me and Christine and the guys from the Parent
Lounge and we're doing it like a live Oh cool stands.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
That Yeah great, that's it'll be great.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
And we get there. Yeah, yeah, once we.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Get there, because I think it's also like a two
hour drive when we get to Syracuse, and then the
drive because it's Pennsylvania, it's gonna be a plane's trains
and automobiles kind of dah dear.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
For sure. I brought yeah snacks, bring chargers like ever,
we got two.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Chargers just in case in case I need to charge
my iPad and my phone.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
You know you're out of things.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah no, no, you gotta prepar to be to live
off the land.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
As long as you Oh god, fun. How's your week? Then,
how was uh, how was your Halloween?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Hell it was Haven's. No, that was this week.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
No, no, that was Friday, Friday. It was fine, It
wasn't It didn't even feel like Halloween because my kids
are grown and so Felicity was off at a show
show choir retreat. Tate wasn't speaking to me. So it's
just one of those I was like, all right, So
we just it was just me and Michael and Little
and we watched the Charlie Brown The Great Pumpkin. Charlie

(03:08):
Brown made Mummy Dogs. It was, you know, just a quiet,
little celebration, lovely and and now Little is trying to
get her say how is little?

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Little is great?

Speaker 3 (03:20):
But she's still on daylight savings time, right, And this dog,
I know, you know, I love you know, I love
fallback like Fallback is my favorite damn day of the year.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
To tell you, I'm going to tell you ab, I'm
having a completely different experience with it this year.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
So well, I am too this year because the dog
has not adjusted.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
The dog doesn't want an extra hour of sleep.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
I do, but the dog is still in daylight savings
and she is this I'm not used to this terrier
energy row. She wakes up, she wakes up, pounce on
me face.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
What do we do today?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Right?

Speaker 3 (03:54):
And I'm like, no, I wake up at a one
and I need time to just kind of ramp my
self up. But she's like, no, no, We're just like
we're gonna patty.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
We're gonna eat. Yeah, the first of the day. Oh
my god.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Right, I wish I was as excited as my dog
for every day.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah she is, just so it's been early mornings for me.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
That's okay. She's cute, she's worth.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
It, right, But I am why they made them cute
when they're little and annoying.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, well, Holly.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Was totally Holly the poodle. She just wanted to sit
on the couch and judge people. I was all about that,
as I'm older.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
When you got her, though, too.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Wasn't she So she was already like, look, I'm just
give me a couch.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
She's basically where we were where we are now when
you adopted her. She was a middle aged woman who
just wanted to be left the hell alone.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Perry menopause right started elephant talk to me right right?
And now little is like, Hi, I'm a teenager. Oh
my god, that's gonna be great, right, Yes, not craziness. Craziness.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
We had so many trick or treaters. Oh yeah, because
you had the main the big dair role. Well for
where Yeah, we we usually buy like a couple bags
of candy and and then it stays here and we
eat it all.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
So this year, mis guy was like, oh, you know,
I'll get I'll get a bag. We never because they just.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Never come to our neighborhood and they never make it
like to our end of the street because we're kind
of on the edge of the neighborhood, like half our
streets apartments and then we're you know, right, so we
don't get a lot of people. But the lights definitely
attracted people. Yes, we got the entire fifth grade class
of Dixie Canyon Elementary Why into my house as our kids.

(05:33):
So our friend Rocco Roberta. Hayes's grandson.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, Rocco and his.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Son came by, uh and he and and that's you know,
his kid goes in there. And so they brought over
the entire class that I had just performed for on
Wednesday for Young Storytellers with Christine Laken because she does
it's like a young storyteller's uh program and uh accidental, right,

(06:00):
And yeah, they all came to my house.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Oh my gosh. I felt like they were no, they
were losing their and I.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Was like like I wasn't prepared for it, you know
what I mean. I was like, I don't even know
if I had a brown like a sweatsh and I
just came out and I was like, oh, there's a lot.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
But and then the little pathway up, you know, I
came out like halfway and they were getting candy.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
And but then they.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Were like they were these little kids. They were walking
across my plants, Nolan sleeping on the l right, and
I was like, hey, I did stay off the plants.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
And I was like, oh my god, you're it's it's
a lawn. Get off my lawn now. Yeah, yeah, get
off my plan.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
I was like, I was so I was trying to
hand out candy but also be like yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Step on that plant.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah, oh middle age.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yes. And they we were.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Out of candy within the first like thirty five minutes
after the fifth grade class came.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
They just tapped us out. Yeah, but we did get
some like cute littles.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Like right, like before it was even dark dark, like
the Little Ones came and the apparently they had been
in love with the werewolf, so they were like, we
have to go to the Werewolf's house.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
You're known as the Werewolf House now and.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
I'm now now, forever and ever, I had me and
the way to do it every year.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Now they have expectations, but.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
It was just some I definitely I built my nightmare
before Christmas. Legos and I watched the ed Gan Netflix show.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Oh, how is that is that? It's good?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on the Lyle and Eric Menendez Monsters.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Oh no, that's a good I watched that whenever it
came out.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, yeah, no, it's it's really good.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
And crime.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
I watched The Murdoch I'm watching The murdochs on.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
I haven't watched last Night, so don't say anything if
you watched.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, so I didn't know. I didn't know there's a
new one out last night. I wan last time at
the five. Okay, good, me too.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
The acting is so good, guys, it's so good. I
thought this was going to be terrible, like a lifetime.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
No, it's so when I Patricia Clark and Patricia Arquette
and uh and Jason Clark like phenomenal actors.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
I like, there have.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Been a couple of scenes where it's like it's almost
like uncomfortable because you feel like you're in the middle
of like a fit, like you're somehow spying on a
very private, intimate argument between family.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Oh yeah, it's very uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Yeah, oh it's it's so good though. The acting is great,
you just the people in it are.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
It's it makes me feel better about my own family actually,
to be honest.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Kind of like it's just so bad and everything. I know,
they've got a ton of money. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
So I mean every family is crazy in their own way, right,
but sure, but having assets really doesn't preclude you from it.
In fact, it makes you a little bit more so.
Oh yeah, yeah, watching this is just like, oh my god, Yeah, anyway,
highly recommend it you guys. Yeah, I'm watching yeah, be
uh creepy television while I build my legos.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
That just sounds like ideal self care, right.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
I was like, don't talk to me. Leave. After the
like chaotic three weeks I had or whatever, it was just.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Like one stupid thing after another, had a lot of
crap going on Sunday. I was like, leave me alone.
Maybe it was Saturday, I don't remember one. I think
it was Sunday. I just was in my office for
like seven hours alone. I was like, no, I'm not driving,
I'm not doing I'm not going. Nobody asked me anything.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, that's the best. That's the best. Yeah, just leave
me alone.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
The dog is allowed in. But that's it, right, right,
the dog and that can actually talk.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah yeah, No, not actual conversation.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Great, right, just you and your thoughts and your legos
and uh whatever music you.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Put on in yeah, heaven. All right, that's so great.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
Well, let's get into this because we have an exciting
interview coming up.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
So I coming up and I got to go get
to the airport where I am going to move in
for the next week probably, So yeah, I don't oh god,
I don't want to be late for.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
Waiting, you know. Yeah. So let's get going. Everyone sit
at the gate for seventeen hours.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Welcome back to how Rude Tanner Ritos. I'm Andrea Barber
and I'm Jody Sweeten, and today we're discussing season five,
episode twenty one, Yours Mine and Ours. It originally aired
March third, nineteen ninety two, and it goes a little
something like that, like this, like that, like this, like that,
like this.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, Jesse, with this, you can get with that.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Sorry, I could do the whole box Chi songs we want,
but I won't.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
No, yeah, use all, yeah, not today, not today. Jesse
and Rebecca disagree over how to raise the twins, and
Jesse imagines them as teenagers a dream sequence.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Oh gotta love a good dream sequence.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Meanwhile, Danny and Joey tried to make peace between the
bickering girls talk about families fighting like this is just right.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Just righting, Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Just And of course there is a film of the
same name, Yours, Mine and Ours. The first one was
in nineteen sixty eight, starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda,
about a widower with ten kids who dates a widow
with eight kids.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
They go on a date. There's there's this is basically
where the Brady Bunch came fright right.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Then they remade the film fives three and three is
one thing. It's eighteen Yeah, that's that's like, I'm sorry,
that's a lot you have, yes, And they remade the
film in two thousand and five with Dennis Quaid and
Renee Russo. So I haven't seen it, got to watch it.
I'm excited about it.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
This episode was directed by joel's Wick. It was written
by Stacy Hurr. And we have a lot of great
guest stars. We've got to Devin Odessa as Shelley Phillips,
you know her best awesome hat.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
God, those were so popular.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
Those were so cool, those hats. I was envious of those.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
I remember you had a hat like that. I remember it.
It was like a black, velvety one with a big
kind of like it like flipped like kind of a
little and it had like a big pink.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Flower on it. I had one with it, you like.
I remember there's a picture of you in it or something.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
I have the black I had the black hat that
looked like Joey McIntyre's black hat.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
And I remember, so there was that.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
I was definitely I'm I'm the daughter of Sherry Barber,
like you're going to wear.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
There's going to be stars after happening. Yeah, chapeaus if
you will, Okay.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
So Devin Odessa, you know her best as Sharon Chirski
from My So Called Life, And we had a lovely
interview with her a few weeks ago, so make sure
you check that out. Bruce Baum returns this time as
the Pirate. We remember him from the Phyllis Diller episode
in season one and Misadventures and Babysitting in season three,

(12:46):
and this is his last full house appearance.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Also, yeah, I'm pretty comedian, definitely in the comedy's great.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Yeah, he's really good in this episode. He's doing the most.
Then we have Gil Cheron.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
I don't know if I'm saying sorry, is it SHARONI?
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
I tried looking it up, couldn't find a pronunciation, so
I'll just say Gil Sharoni as teenage al Sharon Sharoni.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
Tomato Jimatto uh.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
He is a very talented drummer. He was or is
a member of the metal band Stolen Babies, and in
twenty thirteen he joined Marilyn Manson and worked on the
album The Pale Emperor. Oh okay, this is his only
acting credit. He was like, forget this, I'm going into music.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Is that right?

Speaker 1 (13:33):
He basically did what John wanted to do, which he
has just become a drummer, right right, But I will
tell you man, metal drummers. I'm metal is not necessarily
my thing. I I listened to like Marilyn Manson's have
in high school. But metal drummers are super talented because
there is so much going on.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
There's really old body workout.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Any drummer really, but metal drummers it's there's.

Speaker 3 (13:54):
It's a lot insane.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
He even filled in for like Travis Barker on some
of the true stuff.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:59):
He's like very very accomplished. I hadn't, right, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
Cool.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Then we have Ronnie Sharoni his his twin Gil SHARONI.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Ronnie SHARONI makes it. It sounds better than Sharon it does.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
It does sound better. I agree.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
Ronnie played teenage Nikki and he is the bassist and
guitarist for Stolen Babies.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
Oh they stayed together.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
This is fantastic.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Stolen Babies what a name.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
That's a great name for a metal band, right it is.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
I mean it could be an episode of full House
really good. Yes, yeah they probably got it from this
I met you.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
They were like, you know what, too many children on
this show.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
They won't mind if we just steal a few babies,
Like there's babies for everybody. So most recently he did
the music for K pop demon Hunters or he was
part of the music. So yeah, he's very still very relevant.
These guys are very talented, really talented musicians. Yeah, I
wonder if they were by John or if this is

(15:01):
just was built into their DNA.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
I was very happy to read all of that.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Also, my cousin Shane is the sneezer. He's the sneeze.
This is my sneeze.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Shane Jacobson is the sneezer upon the food get a credit.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
He should have got his brother, I know, he should
have got a credit.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
And his his brother Brandon is like right over Dave's
shoulder next to him, and their mom, Jane was in
the scene to like sitting back at the table with them.
But this was one of the first times, I think
maybe the first time they came out from Iowa because
my mom's family's off from Iowa, so they.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Had come out. They'd never seen the ocean.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
My gosh, they'd never been to Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Disappointing. They were like, this is it. We're like, yeah,
nobody goes here.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
But he also but he got to, he got to
having got to have a moment.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's invidible.

Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yeah, to go from never seeing the ocean to being
on the number exactly Friday night, it was pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
And now he is the CEO of the American Cancer Society,
and he was also the ce formerly the CEO of
the V Foundation, which started working with Dave on. I
had introduced them to start working on a lot of
the cancer awareness stuff, and I believe Mel and Mel
are still working with V Foundation.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
I believe. Yeah, fun little uh, fun little thing. My
cousin Jane Jacobson and Brandon Jacobson.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
Hey, the world is small. That is so funny, fantastic.
I got all of the the Iowins episode just pure,
you know, not jaded, lovely people, lovely people, very polite. Anyways,
so let's get into the recap. We don't have a teaser.
We go straight to the credits, and then we're in

(16:55):
the living room. Danny comes home from work and on cue,
all three of his dog run downstairs to have a
word with him.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Always fun to come home too, right, this is very relatable.
You come home and no can I walk out again?

Speaker 3 (17:10):
He was less stressful at work than it is at home.
Danny thinks that they're just coming to say hi, so
he extends his arms out for a group hug. Instead,
they all start complaining about each other. First, Stephanie asks
him to tell dj to stop hogging the bathroom. Hej
quickly hops in to defend herself. It just so happens,
I was in there first. Stephanie quips, well, pinaose on

(17:33):
your nose. Missed that catchphrase.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
This was my second favorite. I did like pinerose on
your nose.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
The good sarcasm of it, Like, yeah, big effen deal.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
I love the dry sarcasm. It's just ye, you never
get tired of it.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Danny is still holding out his arms in the hopes
that Michelle will give him a hug. But Michelle tattles
on Stephanie she turned off My Beauty and the Beast
tape and stuff points out that it was only after
the hundredth time she played it, played it like.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
A hundred times myself, So right, it's a good that's
a good favorite favorite is so good?

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
Danny puts his arms down when he realized nobody's in
the mood for a hug. Then Joey walks in from
the kitchen, still carrying mister Woodshop.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
It right, it's like attached to his arm at.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
This point, it's a third limb for a third arms.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
You know, how do you do anything? How do you drive?
Is there?

Speaker 1 (18:32):
You know?

Speaker 2 (18:32):
The woodchuck like holding it with his teeth? Yeah, I'm one.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
I have so many questions about this. So Joey's complaining
about the day he had with his junior Rangers. He sighs,
I had a crier, two wetters, and some kid got
a splinter in his butt. Of course, that's those kids
seemed a little old for that, right, Well, maybe.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
They were nervous. You know what, the woodchuck scared him.
They just feed themselves.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yeah, they're just urinated fear. Right, mister Woodchuck chimes in,
was the splinter made of wood? And the girls are
ignoring him. They all start to argue amongst each other.
Danny finally chimes in, hold it. If I didn't know
any better, I'd say this wasn't the happiest family on earth,

(19:16):
and Michelle responds with her signature oh please, with a
hand on her hip. Danny responds by mocking her sassy
pose and putting a hand on his hip too, and
then he tells the girls he has an idea. Steph
guesses reserved seating in the bathroom. Danny shakes his head. No,
let's take time out from all this bickering and go
out together as a family. I hereby declare tonight Tanner

(19:40):
Family Fun Night.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
Nothing says fun like naming it, you know, with your family. Yeah,
it's always a certain good way to get him ramped up.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Right, this is the worst opening, Danny, the worst.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
The girls and Joey look less than enthused, but Danny
insists go with me on this two hours of non
stop feel good Tanner Family fun. They all reluctantly agree,
and Danny happily tells them to grab their coats upstairs.
Then Becky walks in carrying a laundry basket while Jesse
follows close behind, and it's obvious that they're in the

(20:16):
middle of an argument. Becky questions, are you saying my
mother is wrong? And Jesse smiles, No, I'm saying she's insane, Danny.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Insane is the outfit that Becky is wearing. What does
she wear? She's wearing like a suit to do laundry?

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Right, I was like, you look incredible to do laundry.
She laundry I'm wearing the things that aren't being washed,
which is.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Like dregs, you know.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yeah, especially when I had like little babies, like.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
There was no.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Done. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
No, she had perfectly curled hair.

Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah it was She's Becky with the hair.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Danny feels awkward. We all feel awkward. Becky reminds her husband,
my mother simply suggested that we use cornstarch when we
diaper the boys.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Jesse argues, we.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
Want to keep the boys dry, not grow crops in
their underpants.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Turns out Becky's mom was right, though, because that talcum
powder had cancer causing things in it. Oh yeah, actually
turn out to not be so great for babies. So
when one for Becky's mom, Nedra was rightause she always
listened to Nedra.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
So Danny interrupts this fight and suggests that they need
a little dose of Tanner family fun and invites them
in the twins out to dinner. Jesse agrees, but Becky
says they'll pass. She points out, we don't want the
boys going out to a restaurant during cold and flu season.
Jesse accuses her of babying them, and she simply states

(21:45):
they are babies. Danny tries to encourage them. Are you
sure you don't want to come? We're gonna sing show
tunes all the way there, and Jesse quickly backtracks. You know,
when you put it that way, why take a chance
during cold and flu season. We'll have to pass. Becky
nods an agreement, and they grab their laundry basket before
rushing out of the room. Danny calls out for the

(22:06):
rest of his family to get downstairs, saying, it's Tanner
Family fun time.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
What is now where you got that this morning?

Speaker 1 (22:13):
For?

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (22:15):
I stole it from Danny. Danny says, what do you
want to eat? Each family member has a different answer.
Joey wants pizza, DJ wants burgers, Stephanie wants tacos, and
Michelle needs her emotional support chocolate cake.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Right, I gotta say, though Stephanie always wants tacos, I
always want tacos.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
Tacos. These are great. I don't mind any of these
healing food.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
This does sound like an evening at my house when
we're like, okay, what are we going to order? Like
we're not making dinner night, what are we ordering? And
it's like everyone wants something different. I'm like, never mind,
this is when you need to go to like a food.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Court or something you don't like.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
Everybody, just get what you want. We'll meet back here
in an hour. So Danny jokingly responds, no problem, I'll
just find a Mexican Italian burger and cake emporium.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
She's cake factory.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Got everything, the nineteen foot tall chocolate cake, a burner
the size of your head.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yes, gosh, man, they do have everything there, there's there.
You're not wrong. So next we're at a pirate themed restaurant.
I don't think we ever learned the name of this restaurant.
Oh it's Pirate Co.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it says it right line here
actually says. The Tanners show up to a restaurant called
Pirate Cove.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, don't mind. I see myself for much. But I
didn't see that if I had just read a little
bit further. The Tanners show up to a restaurant called
Pirate Co.

Speaker 3 (23:44):
Oh my god, raw, and Danny's the only one who's
excited about it. Joey does admire the lifelike pirates that
are placed around the room. He goes to touch one,
and it ends up being a real human being.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Bruce Baum creepy though they put the cannikins in the pack.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yes, and they look like bruce Baum like they were.
They look the hair, they look.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Like rejects from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
They were like, oh no, we can't put that in there,
but we could throw it in the.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
Pirate cop The Pirates of the Caribbean pirates aren't even lifelike.
They're just very right.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I mean, I haven't been a wax figures.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yo ho yo, I've been singing that song all week.
So the pirate welcomes them to the restaurant and leads
them to their table. DJ cringes at her surroundings. Dad,
this is so lame. What if my friends see me here?
Danny responds, well, that would make them just as lame
as you, wouldn't it. He puts on his best pirate
voice and laughs, yo ho ho, got you there. Maybe

(24:46):
They sit down and the pirate waiter gives Stephanie a
kitty menu. She glares at the man and says, how rude.
On the other hand, Michelle is happy with her kitty menu.
She boasts that it has puzzles. Stephanie ro her eyes
connect the dots very challenging, and Michelle insists, don't worry,
I'll help you. It was a great exchange. Meanwhile, Joey

(25:12):
glances at the menu it admits he doesn't want seafood.
He asks the waiter if they have any pizza. The
pirate waiter breaks character to tell him maybe he didn't
notice the boat pal, but we kind of got a
seafood thing going on here.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, Joey's just like a kid.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
He wants the one thing. That's like, if we came
here for a reason, come on in.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
It was like my my grandpa Sweeten when he was
getting near the end and he we took him to
Marie Calendars, which has pies, and he would not give
up asking for chocolate cake every time. The waitress came
and would ask her, like, are you sure you don't
have any chart pick? We're like, no, We're pretty sure.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Calendars. Yeah, like Michelle's grandma.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Michelle is the same person here.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
You know.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
It's so funny.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
So then bruce Baum turns up his pirate voice and says,
but I'll go up to the galley and see if
I can drum you up a sliver of dried salted beef.
He's really he really is doing the most here like
he's just turned it up.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
To a ten.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
He is, yes, So Danny decides they should all get
into the pirate spirit, so he places one of the
complimentary pirate hats on his head. Dj tells him he
looks like a dweeb, and Danny challenges her, I'm a
dweb having fun. You know why, because everything is more
fun with a hat on.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
Jay lats yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
In response, they all put their matching pirate hats on too,
and then the waiter returns and asks if they're ready
to order. Stephanie begs her dad to let her order
from the regular menu. He gives in this is Tanner
Family fun night, and sweetheart, you can have anything you
would like. Stephanie looks through the adult menu and decides
all have the Sunken Treasure, a scrumptious assortment of King

(27:08):
Neptune's favorites from the bottom of the Sea.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Oh, Stephanie, Yeah, it's not say anything about deep fried
their stuff. It's no, yeah, it's it's fresh, fresh from
the bottom of the sea. Danny thinks that it sounds
like a fun meal until he looks over at Joey's
menu and sees that this meal costs twenty three ninety five,
twenty three dollars ninety.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Your burger meal for that.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Now you're a small burger at twenty three dollars.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Yeah, you can't.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Even you can't even spend twenty three dollars at McDonald's.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
No, two people, these days.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
You used to be able to order the entire taco
bell menu for like five bucks, and now you can't
even get a taco meal for twenty three bucks.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yes, they're like, we're the under five dollars menu.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
You're like, this is a deal, right, deal? That's not
a deal, right twenty three ninety five. Those were the days.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
So Danny makes a comment to the waiter, boy, fun
doesn't come cheap around here, does it, and the pirate
just urgs in response. Next, Michelle asks for her chocolate cake.
The waiter tells her, oh, a delicious slab nearly as
big as your head, MIHARTI. Michelle reacts, whoa baby, and
then the waiter breaks it to her in his normal voice,

(28:25):
we're all out, and Michelle shouts, what a rip off.
Then a group of teenagers walk in and DJ quickly
ducks under the table and urges her family to follow suit.
She whisper shouts, there are some kids here from my school.
Danny looks up and realizes it's Shelley Phillips, but DJ begs,

(28:45):
please don't do anything to attract attention. On cue, a
group of pirate waiters arrive at the table with a
giant chocolate cake. They place the cake in front of
Mi Shelle and sing Happy birthday to a girl named Sarah's.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
This always happens at.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
The worst moments, you know, like I hate You're.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Like, oh wow, that couldn't have been timed any worse. Right,
Just go away. I have something to tell you.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
You are you the person though that that uh has
people come sing at the table?

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Do you like it? Do you hate it? Hate it?

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Okay, I hate it, hate it. I'll soolo they make
you wear the lice sombrero, like I hate it.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
See I it's not that I don't hate it. Whatever.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
I think it's hilarious and I do it I to
friends that hate it, although I wouldn't ever do it
to Mescal.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Because I think he would leave me there. But like,
oh yeah, I have friends that hate it.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Celia hates that, and so you'll say it's her birthday.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Oh you're that friend. Wow, okay, it's not actually their birthday.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Oh okay, but you'll want No, that's unnecess But if.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
It's their birthday, it's gone.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Well yeah, I mean, if it's their birthday, they deserve
to be celebrated.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
It was like Celia went on a bad date and
the guy told them it was her birthday and it
wasn't and it was a sushi restaurant and they tied
a sushi bandana around her head and saying happy birthday.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
And she said it was one of the worst dates
of her life. Oh my god, that's instant. No she's
a date.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
No no, no, never again, never again, poor Celia.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Oh man.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
So Stephanie chimes in, her name's not Sarah, and the
pirates realize they brought the cake to the wrong table.
They quickly take the cake away. Michelle shouts at them
to come back, and then she glares at Stephanie and says,
you have a big mouth. Come on, Steph, this was
free cake. You know.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
I wouldn't have said anything. I would have been like, oh.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Bring some extra plates and forks Sarah's family needs. So
I don't know, man, this this pirate's cove. This might
be worse than Chuck e Cheese.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
There.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
There is so much going on, it's very I was
stressed out. Yeah, but it's true. You don't have the.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
Creepy rat in the on stage singing the whatever they sing.
But I don't know, I just found it very over stimulating.
I would never want to eat at Pirate's Cove. I
don't even like the pirates thing at at knots Erry Farm.
The medieval times like that stresses me out. You wanted

(31:27):
to go to medieval I feel like we've been to
medieval times together.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Have been together. Yeah, it was for my night there. Yes,
you're a birthday party there, yess what it was.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
And I feel like the night oh I've been I've
had to go with the girl scouts. Like at least
they have an open not an open bar, but they
have a bar where you could pay twenty three dollars
for a small dree. But yeah, it's just I don't know, man.
I do like the meal, like you get to eat
the turkey leg with your hands or whatever, and that
the meal's not bad, But I don't know entertainment, it's

(32:00):
not Pirates at least. So next in Jesse and Becky's room,
Jesse is back with a baby in one arm and
a pizza box in the other. He tells Becky he
got her favorite pineapple and anchovy.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
I don't hate anchovy really, but not with pineapple.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Oh see, I love pineapple.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
I like just pine pineapple. I love you pineapple and
the Yeah, that's fine, I am. I know it's a
controversial opinion, but it's okay. I like it.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
I don't think pineapple is as controversial as Anchovy's.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Though.

Speaker 3 (32:31):
Do you like the salt?

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Like?

Speaker 3 (32:32):
What is it about salty?

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Yeah? I mean I don't order it often, but I
don't mind. I've had them on there and I'm like, oh,
that's a nice little salty tree.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Bobby. I did not know that about you. I'm silently
judging you though. That's fine.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
So Becky walks in with her arms crossed and tells
him he forgot something. Jesse admits he forgot the extra cheese,
but he thinks it's a rip off. Anyways, Becky interrupts him.
I was talking about the hat, the one I asked
you to put on baby if you took him out
in the cold air. Jesse proceeds to lie, saying he
did put the hat on, but it must have fallen
off on his way out. Becky wonders how it ended

(33:09):
up behind a pillow on the couch. Then oh, they
start to bicker. Becky puts a hand on her baby's
head to realize it's freezing. She tells Jesse, my mother
says that sixty percent of the body's heat is lost
through the head, and Jesse argues back, sixty percent of
his body is his head.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
He's not wrong. No babies are all they're all head
just head.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
Becky tells him that's why he should be wearing the hat,
and she places the accessory on his bald little head.
Jesse immediately takes the hat off, telling her he doesn't
need to wear it inside because it'll stunt his hair growth.
Becky points out he doesn't have any hair, so this
arguing continues. Becky grabs the phone to call her mother,

(33:54):
who always said a hat on the head keeps a
child out of bed. He decides to grab the other
phone to call to call his mother too.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
I was like, why are there two phones? I'm like,
this is gonna oh there.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Well, I know DJ got her own line, but maybe
that extends to the attic. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Well, everyone in the house has their own line. They
have their own line and then the house line. You know,
they can and they have the inter calm system. They
can call each other.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
What is Danny's phone bill per month? Like, I gotta
know there's a lot. So Jesse says that his mom
had a saying that he always loved too. My boy
is always right.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
I don't know how we got here. It's not Nick.
Maybe it's it's the combination.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
They both start complaining to their moms on the phone
about the other's behavior, and Becky admits Jesse is too
cavalier with the babies, and Jesse says Becky is really
over protective. They both hand each other the phone and
say in unison, she wants to talk to you. However,
neither of them want to talk to their in laws.
They eventually give in and swap phones. Jesse asks Becky's

(35:10):
mom if she really said a hat on the head
keeps a child out of bed, and she says yes,
and she tells them another a scarf on the throat
goes great with a coat.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Of regular doctor Seuss, I really dig.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
These scenes, you know, like this is such a mom thing.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
To It is right.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
I was saying, like someone in Minnesota said this in
like nineteen fifty eight.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Yeah, yes, totally this Nebraska, Nedra and ned Nebraska.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
This is totally. That's exactly what it is. This is
what I think is.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Becky is just nodding as Irene blabs on the other end,
and eventually both of the moms say they'd like to
talk to each other. Becky and Jesse position the phones
so that the two moms can hear each other, and
there's loud bickering coming from each end. I gotta say
I would I would watch a spin off of Jesse
Becky and their mother in laws like a wood.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
That would just be Nedra and Irene yes.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Pass and then they both gye there fighting to live
in the backyard EIGHTYU move in together?

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Yeah, I think you just pitched an idea for a
spin off.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Sorry, it's already at the writer's gille guys, so you
can't take that idea.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
So Jesse doesn't want to put his mom through this anymore,
so he grabs one of the phones and says, doesn't
Becky's mom squawk like a chit? And that's when he
realizes he picked up the wrong phone. He tries to
explain himself to Nedra. No, I didn't say squawk like
a chicken. I said, talks like Charles Dickens. Then he
takes both phones and says the infamous Charles Dickens line,

(36:44):
God bless us everyone, and hangs out each to both
of them.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah, Becky hears.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
Alex Cooeen in the nursery and begins to walk towards him,
but Jesse stops her. You can't go charging into the
room every time the kid makes the slightest peep.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
I mean, she did seem a little high strong at this,
Like the kid made a nooise and she was like,
I'm like, Becky.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
They both were a little You're both a little extreme
ends and I.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
Mean not like they ever do that, So this is true.
He's strange.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
Well, Becky's a new mom, Like I cut her a
lot more slack just because we're.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
All just crazy, Jesse, you know what I mean, she
basically has three kids. I really feel for her. Yeah, yes,
and you know what, You're right right.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
So Becky shrugs him off and says watch me, before
going to Alex's crib and picking him up, and Jesse
accuses her of doing this just to annoy him. I
would do this thing all.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
About you, Jesus, you're just the baby to annoy.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
No, he's crying, he's he has a need. So you
for the baby, yes, exactly. As Becky comforts Alex, Jesse
grabs Nikki and brings him into the nursery. He tells Becky,
you're treating them like mama's boys. He's got to stand
on his own two feet. Becky argues, he doesn't even

(38:04):
know he has two feet. Babies need to feel secure.
Their personalities are affected by every decision we make. Jesse agrees,
they've got to be cool, so the boys grow up
to be cool. He believes that these kids were born
to be wild. Oh boy, here we go. Becky corrects him,
they were born to be little gentlemen, and Jesse sarcastically

(38:25):
tells her that would make a great tattoo. Then he
accuses her of turning the kids into little whims.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
They're the infant's, Jesse, infants. They can't infants. They hide
a motorcycle A lah, doctor, dare you know what I mean?
Like they just calm down.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
He's really putting the cart before the horse here it's like,
you know, let's wait till they can sit up on
their own maybe before we start.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Right.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
You can't call someone that has no muscle control of whimp.
That's not even you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
That's it's really unfair. Ye can't even hold their arm
up to throw a punch.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
He's got high expectations of his son's, like, very high.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
It all comes from Nick, you know what I mean
in this, this sort of weird internalized misogyny against your
mama's boy.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
There's some stuff done deck here. I get it.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Uh So, beck Jesse suggests from now on, you ought
to let me make the parenting decisions around here. Becky
argues that every decision he makes is wrong. Jesse claims
that he knows more about raising kids than Becky does.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
I'm gonna say that's not true.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
Oh boy, she scoffs. I bet if I raised Alex
and you raised Nikki, my child would be perfect and
yours would be a mess. This is getting nasty now,
Like they're just.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
A little bit like divorced people that are like you
take one, I'll take the other.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
There was case like that he was like, what.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
We know, that's not that's not fifty to fifty custody.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
That's totally different. Sort depends on, yeah, what you're measuring, but.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah, yeah, the parents parent exactly. So Jesse rolls his
eyes and, in the words of Michelle Police, I can
just imagine how Alex would turn out, Becky argues, I
can just imagine what you would do to Nicky.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
And I bet we're all about to imagine it in
a dream sequence.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
Here we go, we see the special effects, and then
we enter a sequence exactly a teenage Alex. Oh, we
flash forward to the future. We see a teenage Alex
run into the attic yelling Mommy, Mommy. He's wearing a
bow tie, an argyle vest, shorts, long argyle socks, penny loafers,

(40:50):
and a bucket hat with his name embroidered on it.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
I think this is at the moment when he decided
to start Stolen Babies the band. It's like he was like,
I can't do this anymore. Ye yes, yes, it was
this moment right here.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
I gotta say, Wardrobe really knocked it out of the
park though, Like this he was dressed like it was
a very much a good visual for what was going
on here. Becky walks into the room dressed in a
very sophisticated outfit she's wearing she does, yes, Nedro would be.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Becky. Yeah, this has to become her mother.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
Especially.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
That was the point where yeah, she.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Has the little updo that is just so like uptight
and oh god, yeah, fantastic. Becky asks her son what's
going on, and he really he reveals he has big news,
but first he asks where dad is. Becky calls out
for Jesse, who walks into the room looking like an
absolute mess. He has hair plugs shooting out of his bald,

(41:54):
balding scalp.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
Well, the rest of I guess becker picker, not pecker,
that's all. Uh yeah, no picker picker picker.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yeah this no not boy h yeah, oh boy. So
the rest of his hair is pulled back in a
low ponytail. He has a big belly and jeans that
keep falling down. John totally used these jeans as like
a prop.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Great. Well, it was so like if you see like
I'm gonna you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (42:30):
It was perfect again John with the physical comedy brilliant, Oh,
very good at it, very Dick Van Dyke, very Jerry Lewis. Yeah, yeah, No,
he's so great.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Hysterical and you could tell he loved it. Yeah to
you know, emphasize his points.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Yeah. Great.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
So Jesse tells his wife that he was moosing his
hair plugs and Alex reveals the big news he made
the team. Jesse gives him a proud handshake getting into
sports at a boy, what are you playing football or basketball?
Alex clarifies that he made the chess team, and technically

(43:10):
he's just the equipment manager, but he gets to carry
all the pieces and set them up before every match.
Alex even shows them their team cheer. Take your time,
take your time, think, think, think, out maneuver your opponent.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Tilly's in a quandary. The rhyming not so much. You
know they're good at chess, not a cheers stick stick
to chess, not cheers.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Jesse covers Nicky's ears and Becky says, what have you
done to our son?

Speaker 2 (43:40):
No, that goes the other way.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Jesse covers Alex's ears, oh, and asks Becky that have done?

Speaker 3 (43:46):
Jesse covers okay. Jesse covers Alex got these these names.
So Becky argues, oh, like you did such a good
job with NICKI. We hear a motorcycle engine revn nearby,
and Becky frowns at her husband. I thought you were
going to talk to him about riding that motorcycle in
the house. Jesse huffs and pulls up his loose fitting

(44:08):
pants before hurrying into the boy's room. Sure enough, we
see Nicki sitting on a real motorcycle in their room.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
That's the most realistic thing about the whole dream sequence
in this house.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
What actually did they get the crane?

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Like?

Speaker 3 (44:22):
How did they did he ride it up the stairs?

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Like?

Speaker 3 (44:25):
I got a lot of questions. So Nicky has a
curly mullet, a bandana on his head, a sleeveless leather jacket,
and colorful tattoos. Nicki gives them a nod. Hey Ward, Hey, June,
hey beef. Becky questions him, Nicholas, what did I tell
you about riding that motorcycle in the bedroom? Jesse hops

(44:48):
in to defend his son. Apparently he has to ride
it in the house because he's too young to ride
it in the streets. But he reminds Nicky to wear
a helmet when he's going up and down the stairs.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Ah, okay, so we did go up down the stairs.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
At least he's wearing a helmet though he right, Nicki responds.
Nicky laughs him off and says, I know, don't pop
a plug, and Jesse nervously touches his hair and asks,
you can tell I have plugs. Nicky responds, only when
I look at him and laughs at him. Becky points

(45:22):
out that Jesse sure didn't raise a MoMA's boy, but
Jesse claims he's just going through a difficult stage his life.
Then Alex interrupts the conversation to tell his mom that.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
He's chafing again.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Becky quickly grabs the corn starch and pours some down
his pants, and Alex sighs in relief.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
That was odd.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
That was I was uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
I was uncomfortable. I was I was Yeah, I was like, Oh, Becky,
Becky Becky.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Nicky hops off his motorcycle and laughs at his brother,
calling him a dork, and this causes Alex to cry.
Becky hugs him, and she and Jesse find admit they
messed up both kids before where.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
You go the dream sequence like every good parent, you know, yeah,
you know.

Speaker 3 (46:08):
This reminded me of the episode where we flash forward
to the guys all dressed you know, stressed as older
men like those better not be the days. Yes, but
I didn't like this dream sequence as much as that
dream sequence with the three older guys.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
I don't know, because it was that was more like
the original family. The girls were older, kings older, and
the three guys.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
Were older, and the three guys were just so funny,
like this was awkward, like it wasn't as I get
the point of what right you know?

Speaker 2 (46:38):
But I don't.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
I just didn't think it was that funny. So I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
The guys.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
The boys did a good job, they did fantastic. Yeah,
but I don't know, just but more contrived or I
don't know. I don't know why I didn't hit for me.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
But on this show contrived contrived.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
Anyways, Back to present day, Jesse emphasizes to Becky, you
see see what you see? What'll happen if we baby
these kids? She argues, my kid would never turn out
to be such a whimp. But your kid, well that
was pretty scary. Jesse tells her that would never happen,
and Becky scoffs, are you saying your kid wouldn't be
out of control? Jesse shakes his head. I'm talking about

(47:17):
the hair plugs, and he explains he would just get
one of those hair rugs that stays on even in
the pool. Becky glances at one of the babies and
picks him up. She looks him over with concern and asks, Jesse,
does this baby look a little flushed to you? Jesse
says yes and realizes that he feels warm and even
sounds a little congested. Their kids have never been sick,

(47:41):
so they've never had to go through this before. They
drop their arguing and go into full parent mode. Jesse
takes the other baby out of the room in case
he's contagious and goes to grab the humidifier, while Becky
takes his temperature and calls the doctor.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
I know you will. And she had that real glass thermometer.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
You know where that came from.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Thank goodness.

Speaker 3 (48:05):
They have the head ones now and the ear and yeah,
way easier than the butt. So we cut to a
there's a stressful music cue. Cut to commercial, so you
know that we're stressed about this, right. We come back
to Pirate Cove. Joey is impatient because his dinner is
taking forever, and DJ is slumped over covering her face

(48:27):
with a Pirate hat to avoid her friends from school.
She asks they're staring, and Danny assures her that they're not,
but we can clearly see them pointing and laughing. DJ
asks if she can just go wait in the car,
but Danny tells her there's no fun happening in the car.
All the fun is right here. Meanwhile, Steph is examining
her bowl of seafood with a disgusted look on her face.

(48:49):
She sighs, ugh, why did I order this? She picks
up a squishy octopus and sets it on Michelle's plate.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Poor little guy, well supple a pod friend, H.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
Yeah, he belongs in an aquariums or an ocean somewhere.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
They're very smart. Oh, they're incredibly smart. I didn't know.
Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Have you never watched the one The My Friend, My
Teacher of the Octopus. It's a documentary. No no, no, no,
you'll be crying.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
It's brilliant, really, it's brilliant. It's about this guy that
this I forget.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I don't think he's like a marine biologist, but he's
a scuba diver or whatever, and he befriends this one
particular octopus and it's amazing and they find out like
they're very Yeah, it'll make you never want to eat
octopus again. They are incredibly intelligent. They are like social.
It's yeah, it's pretty it's pretty amazing. And yeah they

(49:49):
I would say, don't eat them because.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
I don't usually make a habit of eating them. But octopus,
they get a bad OCTOPI they get a bad rap
with the tentacles and the section ups and the thing
and the thing.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
But are think the ones that sting you or the
squid who sting you when.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
You's a jellyfish. Jellyfish, Okay, so octopus don't sting.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
They're very gentle.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
They're nice little beaks that that like in the center
of their body and that's what cracks open, like shells
of muscles and things like that. So they like go
out after it and like and they grab it and
then the little beak that's kind of in the middle
there sort.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
Of okay, cracks it open. I didn't I didn't know
they had a beak. I didn't know.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Like it's hard to see past all those arms and
uh know what their heads look like. That's amazing the
things you learn on Howard Tannerto's fantastic. Uh So, Michelle
gasps at this creature and yells kill it, Daddy. She
pushes the plate towards him. Danny assures them it's just
an octopus and it's already dead.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
But when he picks up the plate, the octopus sticks
to it.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
Danny quickly motions a waight or over and asks, can
you put our little eight legged cephalop.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Back in the tank please?

Speaker 3 (51:02):
To no one's surprised, Michelle is still thinking about that
chocolate cake. She asks, Danny, are you sure it's not
my birthday? He responds, yes, sweetheart, for the hundredth time,
it's that little girl's birthday, and that's why she gets
the chocolate cake, all right. Michelle can't believe the girl
is going to eat the whole thing, but Stephanie tells
her to suck it up.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
And move on.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
Finally, the waiter delivers Joey's food, which is knock Worst
and potato pancakes, a odd combination of Okay.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
I mean maybe not at a German restaurant, right this like,
of all the things that they would have that's not seafood,
knock Worst and potato pancakes wouldn't be the easy, right?

Speaker 3 (51:45):
And didn't he order pizza like, it's not like he
ordered bread all breafood anything seafood okay, and this is
what they brought all right. Before the waiter leaves, he
lifts up his eye patch and realizes, Hey, I know you.
You're Ranger Joe from TV. He proceeds to wave over
every single child in the restaurant and shouts, look, who's here.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
It's Ranger Joe.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
This is like you on Halloween with the fifth grade class.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Coming to the door.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Over the table and ask him for his autograph, but
he tells me he'd like to eat his dinner first.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Yes, I can relate to this.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Yes, So the the kids are surrounding Joey and a
kid sneezes all over his food. Jody's cousin, the aforementioned
cousin Joey, immediately ditches the dinner and begins to sign
autographs instead. That's when DJ's classmate Shelley comes over to
say hi in her blossom hat. DJ nervously asks, oh,

(52:42):
what are you guys doing here, and Shelley lets out
a laugh. We thought it'd be a riot to come
goof at all the lame families that come here. DJ
lies and says, oh, they're doing the same thing, but
Michelle corrects her.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Nah ah, it's family fun night. Who's got a big
now now Michelle.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
Shelley grins, I gotta tell the guys this one, and
she walks away. DJ shakes her head in humiliation. I
gotta find a new school. Steph is still playing with
her food. This time she picks up a crawfish and exclaims, you,
this one has eyes. I'm sorry, but I can't eat
anything that's looking at me, and she pushes the plate

(53:22):
towards Danny. Danny doesn't want to waste food, so he
tries to get Joey to eat it, but Joey tells
him that's not dinner.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
It's Marine Land. Yeah, it's like a like the little
title pools it is. Yeah, that's all on Stephanie's plate.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
At this point, oh DJ is still sulking from seeing
Shelley and tells her family a whole semester of trying
to be cool wiped out by one night of Tanner
family fun, and at this point Danny has had it.
He throws his napkin onto the table, takes off his
pirate hat, and asks the waiter for the check.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
This is so relatable.

Speaker 3 (53:58):
To where you're just like.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
This, Can we go out?

Speaker 3 (54:02):
Yeah, Flag, You're just like.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
Ah, kids, nobody's happy, someone's always upresing to have fun.
We will have fun.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
So the waiter stops Danny not so fast. Maybe I
spy a landlubber who hasn't finished his sunken treasure. That
means you walk the plank, and the entire restaurant starts
shouting plank, plank, plank, as the lights go down and
a spotlight shines on Danny. This is the Pirate staff

(54:40):
bring Danny up to a plank with a ball pit
underneath and ask him any last words. Danny announces, yes,
there's something I want to say to my family in
front of the whole restaurant.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
So great, very tanner of him. It's so tanner tonight.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
I had a dream that people who love each other
would go out to laugh, to have fun.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
To eat fish.

Speaker 3 (55:04):
And we see Stephanie get up from the table as
Danny continues, but who was I kidding? Only myself? Okay,
I'm ready now, and he starts to walk off the plank,
but steph stops him. She blames herself for ordering the
Undersea world of Jacques Cousteau and thinks she should walk
the plank instead, and then Joey walks onto the plank too.

(55:25):
He blames his bad attitude for their horrible night and
offers to sacrifice himself instead. Then Dj joins them. She
admits she also had a bad attitude and announces to
the restaurant goers, when I first came here, I was
a little embarrassed, But now that I'm up here, standing
on a boat and seeing everyone stare at me, I'm
totally humiliated. Michelle is the last to join and tells

(55:47):
them it's her turn. She stares down Sarah and asks,
are you gonna eat all that cake? And Sarah is
glaring at her right and nods in response over chocolate cake.
Sarah takes her cake very seriously.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
Now that the whole.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
Family is there, Danny smiles at them. This was really
sweet of you guys to come up here. This is
the kind of Tanner family fun night I was hoping for.
The crowd begins to chant once more, plank, plank, plank,
so Danny declares, Gosh, darn it, we Tanner's are going
to have some fun, am I right?

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Buckos.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
Everyone gives their best hour and he jumps into the
ball pit. Joey follows after him, yelling in his Popeye voice,
well brow me down?

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Whoa?

Speaker 3 (56:33):
Stephanie's next yelling cannon ball, and Michelle follows after shouting
cow u bunga. TJ decides she'll just wait in the car,
but the pirates prevent her from leading, so she's forced
to jump into Finally, everyone is smiling and having fun
at Tanner Family Fun.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Night, including everyone in the restaurant. Who's watching Tanner Family
Fun Night?

Speaker 2 (56:58):
How is that?

Speaker 1 (56:59):
Mother's a family? And then there was like, wait, it's
not the same family, but right, aren't they from.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Wake Up San Francisco? They all do different segments?

Speaker 2 (57:06):
Yeah, and that Bowie's aunt.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Ah we.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
How was that ballpit?

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Was that fun doing that?

Speaker 1 (57:16):
As? Is that?

Speaker 2 (57:17):
Actually?

Speaker 1 (57:18):
I forgot that there was a ballpit in this scene
because there was a lot going on really out of
the shot at first, you know, you want to spoil
the plank surprise totally, but no, I remember there was
a lot of jumping into the ballpit. I remember a
lot of like Brian Kle going okay, okay, come here,
come here, you know, like you guys trying.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
To get like me and and h Ashley and or
Mary Kate out of the ball pit.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
Oh so fun, so fun as a kid to jump
the ball pit with your castmates, which it was so
much fun. Yeah, that's a good time right there. That
is Tanner Family fun night. So back in the nursery,
Becky is holding Alex well. Jesse places a cold compress
on his forehead. He nervously wonders when the doctor's gonna call,

(58:02):
considering it's been over an hour. Jesse is just as worried.
He admits, I'm so sorry. This whole thing is my fault.
I should have listened to you in the first place.
I took Alex outside without a hat, and now he's
got a fever.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
I am so sorry.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
Becky smiles and reminds him he took Nicky, not Alex.
Jesse's surprised. He feels like he doesn't know what he's
doing anymore. Becky agrees, saying I feel like these kids
should come with an owner's manual. Then the giant phone
and Jesse's pot pocket rings, and he quickly answers it
it's doctor Arnold. Jesse explains that Alex has a one

(58:40):
hundred and one degree temperature and the doctor runs him
through what to do. To their surprise, they did all
of it. Jesse jokes, well, what am I paying you
for and hangs up the phone. Becky puts Alex back
in his crib and Jesse tells her they're doing everything right.
Becky looks at Alex's thermometer and brings it to Jesse's attention.

(59:02):
They both let out a sigh of relief because his
temperature is back to normal. Jesse's shock, quick, I know
right an hour.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Well, yeah, the.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Cold compress does wait, so cool compress.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
It works.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
Jesse's shocked.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
We did it.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
We got him through his first fever. Becky nods yes,
and we didn't even argue about it. Jesse adds, we
didn't even call our moms. They hug and apologize to
each other. They both know they only want what's best
for their kids, so Becky suggests, instead of arguing so much,
we should really listen to each other. Then we can

(59:39):
take the best of what each of us has to
say and compromise. Jesse happily agrees to that plan, and
Becky kisses him, saying they make a great team. Then
Jesse smells an opportunity for teamwork coming from Alex's dirty diaper.
He brings the baby to the changing table and Becky
asks what they should use cornstarch, baby powder. Jesse responds,

(01:00:02):
let's go for a little combo platter. Will make a
very special baby butt blend all mix, and you apply.
Becky laughs as.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
They continue to work as a team. And that's our show.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Rankankank Well, that was.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Another wild and crazy adventure of the Tanner families, pulling focus, uh,
pulling focus in a strange location.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
With weird mannequins and a dream sequence. It's a very
it's very very full house.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Yeah, very sitcommie, very full house, very contrived. I mean,
this is what they did in the nineties. They contrived
these storylines.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
But it was fun. It was a this was a
cute one. This was fun. It was very very relatable too,
of like, oh my god, the kid's sick.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
We panic and then arguing over like how you know
that some things you don't find out until you have kids,
and you're like, well, I think this way. You're like, wait,
you think it should be that way? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
Yeah, no, And that's true. You don't find out how
your partner parents.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
Until you do it, right. It's very opening, right.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
So, yeah, Jesse and Becky are quickly finding out how
the other parents and uh yeah, I'm glad they use
this as a learning opportunity to learn together.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Yeah and together.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
You know what I love about the Tanners is that
they really have a problem and just nip it in
the bud right away.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
You know what I mean? Yes, I mean DJ got
up there and was like, you're right, I shouldn't and
I was like, wow, the teenagers even in on it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah. They resolve everything with a speech,
a heartfelt speech from Danny, and then everybody's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Happy, each everyone trying to take you know, take the blame, right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
All they needed was a plank and a spotlight. I
guess I don't know it's true. I mean, I think
they have enough spotlight this family.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
But there's never enough focus to pull for the Tanners.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
This was this was a fun one and uh it
was fun to see you know, my cousins in it
and uh Devin and all and all that. Yeah, this
was a I definitely remember that set. I remember being
in that set with all of the weird pirate stuff
and the yeah, and again like playing in the ballpit,
very very difficult to tell children who are sitting five

(01:02:20):
feet from a ballpit to not.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
Go playing in the ballpit.

Speaker 3 (01:02:23):
Yeah, and I'm sure it was such a long day,
Like those scenes had so much and so much going on.
I imagine it took a long time to shoot. And
so they are just sitting there and see yeah yeah,
and being like can we go to me now?

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Is it time? Is it time? Totally?

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
But no cute episode, love it?

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Did you have any everywhere?

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
He looks, uh, No, I don't think I did. Just
I knew about your cousin, right, that's no, I don't
think I had any. I had silly one.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
So in the dream sequence when Nicky is standing up
off of the motorcycle in the bedroom there you can
see the tag on his pants pants.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
You're like, oh, they didn't rip the.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
Tag off because they're like yeah yeah, or you're like,
we're gonna wear this in one.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
Scene and then we're definitely returning this.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
We got to save on the budget. Just get the
tags and tags right, they're like, we don't need yeah,
we don't need these pants.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
And then also the strange and maybe we've mentioned this before,
the strange headshot of Becky in the boys rooms.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
Oh is that that used to be in Jesse's room
where she's like a business woman.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
It's basically like her wake up San Francisco headshot, like
she's very serious in a thing. It's weird. It's weird.
It's also on Jesse's nightstand, but it is also hanging.
It's hanging. I think in the I think there's a.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
Picture of it in the twins room like as babies,
but then in the in the flash forward it's like
hanging on the wall too.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
My god, so it's very I'm like, huh, it's just
a picture of your.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Mom looking and not even like a maternal.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
No, no, this is only this is the only photo
you get. Yes, she's a working mom. This is how
you working. Right, Those are like.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
The only two uh, those are the only two little
weird ever you look moments.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
It would make more sense to have Jesse's headshot up there,
because I could see him being like, hey, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Yeah, they need to. This is this is what you gotta,
you know, strive to or aspire to. But Becky's not
that way.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
Becky is like, no, let's take the family photo and
try and put it up there.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
So that's all right, you know whatever. Okay exactly, it
was like just throw some on the walls, throw some
of them there, see what. So that's uh, that was
the thing we watched. That was a thing we watched.

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
Thank you fan Ritos for joining us for another fun
episode of how Rude Tannato's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
If you just can't get enough of us.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Go find us on Instagram at how Rude podcast, or
you can send us an email at how Rude Tannerrito's
at gmail dot You can check out our merch store,
how Rude merch dot com because you know you might
need a like a property of Stephanie Tanner t shirt
for Christmas on a.

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
I love whatever, I love. I love that amphibian.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
I love that amphibian on a skateboard. Yeah, there's great.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
Anyway, how readmerch dot com and uh we will see
you next time, you guys. So remember the world is small.
The house is full of small aquatic animals.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
It is just full of them.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
There's there's little octopuses just all over the place, and
and there's those little crawfish.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
They're not dead though, they're just hanging out.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
They're just hanging out their friends. Yeah, they're just hanging out.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
They want to. Yeah, that's it. Just full. I mean
it is San Francisco.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
You know, the nautical thing. They have carried this nautical theme.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
We really have from the house full ocean and all
that was missing was a seapappy. You know there is
a sea pappy. Don't you worry. Love it bye

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
M hm