People Know What They Need

We’re told some people just need to be saved. But what people really need is to be needed. This community of young single mothers in Lexington, Kentucky reveals a version of this story.

Full video viewing options for this story plus links to the Instagram and LinkedIn versions:

https://newsletter.baratunde.com/p/young-mothers-asked-to-lead-and-they-did

This episode features Tanya Torp, Executive Director of Step by Step, a nonprofit that chose to stop assuming what young mothers needed—and started asking.

These moms didn’t just receive support. They shaped it. They requested Narcan training. They showed up. They led. They built trust and built community. And in the process, they reminded us:

People need dignity. Agency. The opportunity to contribute.

More stories and updates: https://stories.howtocitizen.com

🎙️ This story series is a collaborative effort by Shira Abramowitz, Jon Alexander, Elizabeth Stewart, and Baratunde Thurston. Video produced by Alexa Lim.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good Day, April seventeenth, twenty twenty five, And have we
got a story of citizen ing for you today? Hi,
I'm Baritunde Thurston, host of the how to Citizen podcast
which feed We are using to add a few stories
into the mix. In this moment of attacks on democracy

(00:23):
and undermining selfance, self governance, there is another story. There's
a story of people practicing power, of committing to the collective,
of showing up and participating, of investing in relationships. And
so we are counterprogramming this sense of collapse with short
but potent stories of people power. And today's story represents

(00:45):
all that. You know, It's really common to lean into
a hero story where a savior shows up, a great
business leader, a great community leader, a great politician, somebody great,
maybe Alexander or something like that. They show up and
they got the answers, and they're like, I have come

(01:08):
to save the people. You little people need saving. I'm
a savior, so I'm gonna do my thing at you.
And that's not what this moment needs. This moment does
not need more centralized authority. It does not need paternalism
and condescension and well intentioned but ultimately and inherently disrespectful

(01:30):
way of treating people. And it turns out that the
people who seem like they need the most, what they
need the least is somebody telling them what they need.
And you'll hear that in the setup to this story.
John Alexander, my colleague in this mission right now, author
of the book Citizens, is real big on this idea

(01:51):
that people want to be involved. I sense it myself.
There is what I call put me in coach energy.
And John tells the story of QAnon, which essentially comes
down to that was a recruitment to purpose, you know,
you know, people who've fallen into that rabbit hole. Part
of what drew them in was the since that they

(02:12):
were part of a mission, that they were being asked
to do something. And again I love doing this collaboration
with John because he has his version of a story.
I weave my version of the story. But we're both
just happening into a story that already exists. We're not authors,
we're amplifiers and co authors at a minimum, maybe editors,

(02:33):
you know. But the material, the raw story, the threads
of the plotlines, that's you. That's out there, it's already
among the people, and part of what the people need
is to be needed. That's really what this story is about.
So enjoy this one. Think about organizations, operations, people you

(02:53):
know who start with a question rather than a statement,
who start with listening rather than speaking, uh, speaking of listening.
Check out stories dot howdocitizen dot com. Fill out our form,
share with us if you have more of these stories,
and if you are down to hear more of them. Alright,

(03:16):
I'm Beartunde signing off for the moment roll tape. It's
it's not a tape and if you wanna see it
visually check out the show notes on this one, or
subscribe to the emails stories about howdo citizen dot com.
We're dropping these every day and hosting them on Instagram,
LinkedIn substack blue sky and you know your television, I

(03:39):
have access to it. That's a different episode piece. You
know what, people in need don't need other people telling
them what they need. Assume that they can and want
to contribute, and that the first step is to ask
and to listen. This is that story.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
They all left with a sense of empowerment. We asked
for this, it got done. But now we're also walking
out of here with knowledge. I am the executive director
of Step by Step, which is a nonprofit working to
walk alongside young single mothers ages twelve to twenty four
and their children. These moms are their incredibles. They're looking

(04:20):
for resources, they're looking for community and connection. When I
first came in, I knew what they needed. They needed
to get high self esteem and they needed to rise
above and work really hard. I started to get to
know these young women. I realized there's so much more
that we could do as an organization. We could actually

(04:40):
have programming that really meets their needs and their desires,
and we could grow leadership among them. People take their
agency away from them and we get the opportunity to listen,
be a listening ear. What does it look like to
flip it upside down to say to the young women,
what do you need? I got to just sit down

(05:01):
with them and say, your voices have never been the focus.
And it felt like a big collective sigh in the room, like, wait,
someone's listening to me. Are you sure you really want
to hear from me? When I say I want this,
are you going to follow through? And it became this
thing about trust moving at the speed of trust. It
is a slow burn and so we have to show

(05:23):
up consistently every single time in the same way. And
they said, we need a NARCAN training. We want to
know how to save lives in our community. We did
in NARCAN training for our volunteers, so we didn't even
consider that our moms would want to do that. And
so our local health department has an incredible NARCAN program

(05:47):
and the moms are asking questions, raising their hands saying
can you tell me more about this? They're leading it right,
how does this work for us? And what do we
need to get out of this session? They're just going
to ask and it was really empowering for my team
to say, look, this is an example. If we listen

(06:08):
and respond with what it is that they need, they
can take the lead. And they all left with a
sense of empowerment. We asked for this, it got done.
But now we're also walking out of here with knowledge
and an action plan. We can take action ourselves, and
so that also builds more community and it builds more

(06:29):
agency in themselves and each other. People know what they need,
they know what they want, They need to be in
a space where they have opportunity and support to do that.