382. Fail Forward, Lead Better: 4X Olympian Jordan Larson On The Power Of A Goldfish Mindset, All Things LOVB & The Importance Of Empathy In Sport & Life

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
How do I help others around me believe that they
are unstoppable?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
What's up, everyone, Emily A Badi Here. You are listening to.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Another episode of Hurdle, a podcast featuring the mindset, secrets,
and true stories of the most inspiring women in sports
and wellness, empowering you to live a healthier, happier, more
motivated life and of course, conquer your own hurdles. This week,
I am sitting down with Jordan Larsen. She's a woman
whose journey in sport is a masterclass in resilience, leadership,

(00:45):
and the power of continual evolution. She's a professional volleyball player,
a founding athlete for League One Volleyball, and the co
owner of Love Nebraska.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
So much has happened since we first spoke for the show.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
In twenty twenty one, and today dive into what it
takes to maintain elite performance over an impressive career that
spanned sixteen plus seasons. Jordan also talks to me about
how she approaches each and every new challenge with a
beginner's mindset and opens up about the immense internal work
required to evolve from being a leader by action to

(01:19):
a vocal, empathetic captain, plus how she learned to separate
her self worth from her on court performance, especially through
a period of personal struggle. We also talk all things
League on Volleyball, and love Nebraska and what it truly
means to be a powerful woman in sports today. Jordan's
willingness to be open and honest about the emotional journey

(01:40):
of an athlete is truly what makes this conversation so compelling.
Her mindset true reblows my mind. You can tell she's
been in this for a long time and she knows
a thing or two about how to conquer hurdles, both.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
On and off the court. Make sure you're following along
with Hurdle over on social It's that Hurdle podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
You can also check out iHeart Women's Sports over at
iHeart Women's Sports and me over at Emily A Body.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Listen to Hurdle with Emily Body.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
I'm an iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get
your podcasts.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
And with that, let's get into it. Let's get to
hurdling today. I am sitting down with Jordan Larsen.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
She's a pro volleyball player, a founding athlete for League
one Volleyball. She's also the co owner of Love Nebraska. Jordan,
Welcome to Hurdle. How we doing good?

Speaker 4 (02:34):
How are you doing? Excited to be back. It's so
good to see you.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
I'm so excited to be back.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
I you're like one of my favorite people to keep
up with from like the hurdle sphere over the last
few years, and I've loved everything that's happened since we
first connected. So it's so special to have you back
on the show because so much has happened.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
So much has happened. I was like trying to think
back on the drive in this morning, I was like,
when was the last time we spoke? That was before?
I don't even remember if.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Four Larsen Hurdle Podcast Google once you were episode one
seventy nine for Contact Jordan, we're currently almost eight hundred
episodes in and that was November. Oh my god, it's
like our anniversary kind of the episode went live on
November tenth, twenty twenty one.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
Stop it. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
That's great. Well, congratu first of all, eight hundred, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
It's a wild time for hurdle. I know that you
saw that.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Now we're part of the Iheartwoman's Sports podcast network, So
so excited to usher in this chapter and have you
be a part of this exciting time. Exciting time for
you as well. I always like to level set when
we start on the show. Here, give me the lowdown.
How are you doing?

Speaker 2 (03:45):
Really?

Speaker 4 (03:47):
That's a great that's a great question.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
You know, a lot of balls rolling, which is always
a great thing, which sometimes can be overwhelming at times,
but yeah, doing quite well. I think that kind of
saying goodbye to the national team and you know that
chapter and it was great, but also feeling like I'm
kind of creating roots and roots in a way that
I've never really had for many years. So it's different

(04:10):
and new and also uncomfortable because I'm used to being
on the go so much. So lot's going on, but
all good things.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
So how does creating these new roots? Obviously you're in Nebraska,
girly through and through. There's a reason why you have
this nickname, the Governor. But how does staying in one
place make you feel.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
It's a little weird, which people are like, how does
that make it weird?

Speaker 4 (04:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
It's just when you're used to uprooting your life every
six months, you're you know, your attachment to things. And
now I'm you know, really building a community again, and really,
I don't know, being around my family again. It's like
my family is usually coming to me, so now being
there and here in present and I get a host events,
you know, I can host Thanksgiving and Christmas and and

(04:52):
kind of creating new traditions because I think, you know,
so much time has passed that those things haven't happened
for me. So again it's like a weird, uncomfortable thing
but also exciting and new because I haven't had it
in a while.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
So yeah, yeah, I hear that.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
And it's really just facing maybe the things that you
kind of put on the back burner for a while totally.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Which again it's like I try to be as present
as I could while traveling, but it's so hard. It's
so hard to stay connected and life happens for other people.
You know. My friends are like three kids in and
their kids are already in high school, and I'm like,
wait a minute, I just left, Like how are they
so you know big now, But it's been so fun
to reconnect and just kind of join them where they're at.
And yeah, it's I feel like I've just left college.

(05:36):
Which is I know that's not the case. I don't
look like I just left college, but it feels like that.
It's like a weird I don't know, it's like my
life pause and everybody's kept going, but mine also did.
It's a weird space but also fun.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Can I tell you that I had a moment during
the pandemic where I realized that I had been on
go go go in a very different way than you have.
And I sat down one day and did an inventory
of the people that mattered to me in my life,
and like if someone had had a baby and I
didn't feel like I did enough when that happened, I
like sent them a note. I was like, Okay, I

(06:09):
want to like really try to reclaim some of these
relationships so I can hear what you're saying totally.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
And yeah, it's it's weird when you finally kind of pause.
It's hard to also sit in the pause right when
you've been so used to, like I don't know, filling
your mind with other things that learning how to like
quiet your mind, and the quiet mind is like it's
okay and that nothing is wrong and so and I
think also too, As you know, retirement comes closer to me,
you know, without volleyball having that as an outlet, Like,

(06:38):
what does that relationship look like for me too? And
how do I create habits that are healthy now as
an outlet that kind of keep me kind of at bay?
So because everybody's like, oh, that transition is so hard,
and I'm like, oh man, I'm like bracing for you
know something, but just I don't know, feeling like in
a really good place just internally, which I'm forever grateful for.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
And you know, you just posted the other day season sixteen.
I forget what the hashtag was. It was something about yes,
I'm still doing this and yes I am old. Yes
sixteen seasons in that is impressive and also such a
testament to how much of a stellar athlete you are.
How does it feel now at the beginning of a

(07:20):
season versus maybe how it felt when we were closer
to seasons one and two.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, there's oddly still this newness and excitement. I feel
like I'm still learning, which is crazy.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
And I think.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
There have been moments of time in my career that
I burnout was real and I was like, maybe this
is time to step away. But I feel just immense
gratitude that I get it still, you know, lace them
up and I get a problem solve every day with
some of the best, you know, athletes in the world,
and I don't know, I just sit in a ton
of gratitude, which I don't know. Again, you would think

(07:55):
being in the sport for so long at some point
like the newness rubs off. But I love every minute
so and I think, actually, I was doing the math today,
I think it's like season nineteen technically, I'm like, how
do you count it? Do you count years in the
sport or seasons? Because I did half season, So I.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Think it's ever it is that you want exactly, So.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
I'm like, well, what do we count here? You know? So,
but yeah, it's been fun.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
I love what you say about problem solving.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Talk to me about what problem solving looks like for
you on the regular with play, whether it be in
practice or in game.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah, I think volleyball is a game of decisions, you know,
and you have a certain amount of time to make
the appropriate decision. And so obviously also you're dealing with
people in humans, and everybody has a different emotional capacity
of how they get to the same solution. And so
how do you manage people's emotions and then also how

(08:45):
do you execute the skill? And I mean volleyball is
pretty beautiful when it all comes together, and so how
can you make it not feel as chunky? And so
kind of setting a temperature of the room and understanding
like how do I have a conversation or I need
to take over for this situation or I need to
sit back in this situation. So it's really just constantly evaluating,

(09:07):
and then it's also evaluating internally of like what do
I need to give today, what skill is needed most
for me? And then kind of I don't know, I
just love like finding that decision every day, and then
there's just micro decisions over time. And I think with
leadership too, it's like how do I show up and
be the best I can and kind of set a
foundation for those If I can be as consistent as possible,

(09:27):
that's where I want to aim at.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
Yeah, for sure, And being a leader is something that you,
I would argue, naturally stepped into as your tenure within
this sport continued. Do you feel like from a young
age you were someone that was up to stepping into
this type of role or is this a skill that
you as we're talking about learning and growing and problem solving,
really homed in on over time.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, it's definitely evolved over time.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
For sure.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
I feel like I was always I always felt a
little different, you know, my mind was a little different.
How I approach the game was a little different. But
I think I went for more of a leadership by action,
you know, my work ethic, how I you know, pursued
and practice, you know, those kind of things I think
really were the foundational piece for me. And I think
where I've had to evolve is like, it's not just

(10:14):
about what's happening between the white lines. It's about how
I get to know my teammates, how I'm showing up
for them. They are human beings, you know, they aren't machines.
And I think sometimes I equate myself as a machine.
I'm like, you just do this and you execute. But
there's just so much more to the game. And I
think my ability to read the room has gone up immensely,
and then that way it allows people to feel seen

(10:36):
and heard, and then they can be their best selves
around me as well, because unfortunately I have this layer
of intimidation. You know, I blame it on my dad
a little bit. You know, I kind of have the
Larsen you know, grin or seriousness, which can be perceived
just externally different. So I've had to really work hard
to kind of break that down. And then also what

(10:56):
I've done within the sport too. You know, I think
it can be intimidating to, you know, to be around,
but I think, at the end of the day, like,
I'm human too, and I just want to be great.
So how do you find that balance?

Speaker 2 (11:06):
So I appreciate your resting bitch face. Jordan, thank you,
thank you.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
No, No, it's so true. It's so I had to say, yeah,
it's so true. I'm like, half the time, it's really
not what's happening inside. I wish you could feel, but
it's It's really been something I've had to work on.
And but yeah, what.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
An interesting thing to come to terms with and recognize.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
And also I really appreciate you saying that it's bigger
than what just happens within the white lines. When you
talk about going beyond those white lines and we think
about the work that needs to happen off the court,
what comes to mind for you?

Speaker 2 (11:37):
What kind of work does that entail?

Speaker 4 (11:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
I mean I think like understanding where people are coming from,
you know. I think every day, you know, someone may
have something happening in their life and they're showing up
with the heaviness in their heart and they're like, dude,
I cannot execute today and like I need help. I
think if you get to know them in a setting
that's a little bit not as harsh, then they can
ask for help sooner. And then also they can also

(12:02):
understanding where you're coming from. So maybe that's a coffee date,
maybe that's we're going to dinner. Maybe it's just in
a group setting outside the gym, you know, of just
small conversations here and there. I think add a layer
of depth to humanity that allows people to say, like,
all right, we are playing a sport and it matters
winning and losing matters unfortunately, but at the end of

(12:23):
the day, it's like we're here just to do what
we love and we love doing it with the people
that we love. So I think remembering that and staying rooted,
and that was never always me, you know, I was like, dude,
if we don't win this game, like my life will end,
you know, Like you know, I'd very was just like
live and breathe it and everything matters, and it does,
you know, And I think it's how can you find

(12:44):
the balance in that? And is their balance?

Speaker 2 (12:46):
When did that change?

Speaker 1 (12:48):
I think prior to the twenty twenty I never know
why I said twenty twenty Olympic Games technically twenty twenty one.
I think that whole quad I learned that, like if
this is my last go like how do I wanted
to look and feel at the end, regardless of outcome?
And how can I separate myself from this athlete of
like it all matters, and it does because you need

(13:09):
to be great with all the things, but also this
human element of like you know, when you get the
metal on your neck, it's like a snapshot in time.
It's not you know, it's a thing that happens, but
it's because of the journey. And I think there's just
so much more depth to that and meaning. And I think, like, actually,
where my purpose came from was that, And it wasn't

(13:32):
oh well, now I'm a gold medalist, Like now it
defines me, Like I really didn't think I was going
to have that much weight to it, maybe than when
I was younger, if that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (13:41):
So yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
I think I'm really proud for the internal work that
I've been doing of just like how to separate the
two because it's hard because I just love the sports
so much and I love being around it, so.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, and to be able to then model that for
the next generation of players and your teammates as they
come up, right, to be able to show them that
it's so much bigger than just the outcome of a
single match.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
It is too, And it's like how I'm sure you
feel it too, And like your line of work, it's like,
how do you define success right? And what does success
look like? And how do you want it.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
To feel right?

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Because you could get it all and have it all,
and there's an emptiness piece that will come with it.
It's I think inevitable, right, because if you dive everything
into it, there's something that you lose a part of you.
You have to be a little delusional. But on the
same side of it is like, how can you have
this like piece that like whatever comes comes as it
may and the outcome is just a byproduct of everything

(14:35):
that's come you know to it. So I'm sure you
can sit back at times where you're like the loneliness
and the quiet work is like rigorous and you're just
like why am I doing this? But like when you
get to some level of success, it's like all right,
this is this is why?

Speaker 4 (14:51):
You know.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
That's such an important distinction as well, because success isn't
just a thing that happens, It's a feeling that comes
with it. So when you think about success and how
you wanted to feel what comes up for you.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
I think it's more like this legacy piece of like Okay,
how was I maybe personally able to impact the sport
but then also impact those around me as far as
like them having internal belief in themselves that they can
do it. And I think that's where I've fallen in
love with the most, is like how do I help
others around me believe that they are unstoppable? And I

(15:27):
don't care about me at all, Like honestly, like I
could have a terrible game and I'm just like whatever,
Like of course I want to be great, but like
it's not like it's not where the worth is coming from,
do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4 (15:38):
So I think it's.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
More about like how are my teammates outcomes more beneficial
that lead to success for them than therefore it kind
of feels like a success or a win for me.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
It's so interesting too, because you're saying that this realization
for you really came together at a time when success
was measurable buy the best of the best outcome, right,
But in that time you came to understand that it
was bigger than just walking away with that gold medal.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
Exactly totally, which is like you would think, like that
doesn't make sense, but inside, like internally like really like
there's just like this general piece of like I've even
if it wasn't a gold medal, It's like I knew
that I did everything that I could, you know, with
what I had and also what we did as a team,
Like we did everything that we could. We checked all

(16:30):
the boxes to try to do it right, and that's
ultimately what you want and what you hope for.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
So there's no complaints there for sure.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Was there a point as you got closer to twenty
twenty twenty twenty one where you're maybe wondering, okay, am
I winding down in Sport and you took a look
at this legacy and you were like, I haven't done
what I wanted to do.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yet No, I was really at peace with all of it.
I was at a place where I could walk away,
and I think that's what's made these last, you know,
four years even sweeter is like one of my mentors,
su Enquist. You know, she talks about a little bit
of her life like she's living on house money. And
I really feel like I've been granted, you know, luckily

(17:13):
my body has, you know, been able to withstand just
extra years of sport that I get to enjoy and
really taking it as a blessing that I get to continue,
even though I feel like I have been in a
space that I could walk away at any time, and
I don't know if that was ever the case before,
I think I would have it would have been hard
to walk away.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
You joke about your age, Does it make you annoyed
when people ask you about it?

Speaker 4 (17:39):
Not really.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
I really try to like make it lighthearted because there's
days that I'm like even today, like I went, we
went pretty hard these last two days of practice, and
I woke up today and I'm like.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
Not too bad. I feel pretty good, you know.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
And you know, I'm around like twenty two year olds,
and there's some days we're just different life, you know, situations,
and I don't know, I think I I personally judge
at that age, like I was like, you're over thirty,
what are you doing with your life? But now being
in it, you know, I'm like, do it?

Speaker 4 (18:08):
You go? Girl? Like why not?

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Like if you love it, like go for it. And
everybody that retires too early, they're like, I wish I
would have stayed. So that's the only advice that I've
ever really heard of, like, oh no, you should retire sooner.
That's never been what I've heard. So like, well, if
I can still do it, why not.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Now? In this new chapter as a co owner of
Love Nebraska, talk to me about what that's been like
for you.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
So the last couple of years, I've kind of really
learned more on the business side of just like how
you know, professional sports come together. I'm still learning. There's
a lot of things that I don't fully understand. But
I just love the momentum that Vulliaball is having at
this moment. It feels so different than the past, and
the fact that I get to be home and play
is still and then still be on the side of

(19:10):
learning about business. Really it's cool to see and to understand.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
It's so interesting because like, for instance, over the last
few years, I have worked more, let's say, with sports
marketing folks than I have with communications folks. It went
from me writing stories about products to now creating events
that engage consumers and really using a different part of
my brain. So I round this back to as you're
learning more about the business side of things, like what's

(19:37):
been perhaps the biggest surprise for you are really been
something that hey, like I didn't expect that.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah, I think there is just a lot of cohusion.
It's even like the competitive side, you know, of like
understanding and also just relationship building, right, I think, how
do you want to create a culture and business of
like people that you want to surround yourself with? And
I think you can be kind of picky in that
of like who are my partners? Who do we want
this identity to look like and feel like? And I
feel like Nebraska is an interesting market as far as

(20:05):
just you know, there's really no pro sports here, you know,
there haven't been, you know, and like how do we
create this still like you know, Nebraska is not for
everyone slogan, but it really you know what Nebraska really
means to people and what volleyball means across the state,
and so who you choose to go in business with
and partner with really does matter. So I think that

(20:26):
it's the same thing when you're picking a team or
like understanding how a team comes together. There's certain you
know aspects that you want and that you're trying to
build a culture around. So I think there's again there's
more to it as well, but I feel like that
has been like the coolest piece of it too, is
just really getting to know partners.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
It's so cool they get to know partners to be
able to build something that will have a lasting legacy
not only in your state, but then of course the
greater magnitude within women's sports. I would be remiss if
we didn't lay some groundwork for people that may not
be familiar with League one to explain not only what
the league is, what it looks like, and perhaps after
we do that, where it's going.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
League and bloball started about five years ago at the
club level, where we have been going around like purchasing
a number of clubs. I think now we're up to
eighty youth clubs and kind of just generating this youth
to pro model of and you can kind of, I guess,
compare it a little bit to Overseas professional volleyball. Right,

(21:24):
they don't have collegiate systems, so a lot of their
clubs have a youth program attached to their pro and
that's kind of how they build up to being a pro.
Where ours is a little bit different in the fact
that our youth, you know, twelve to eighteen, we have
club level and then people go on to college and
then we're building hopefully a sustainable model post college and
for athletes to come in and be able to do that.

(21:46):
Now there's two buckets, Love Club and Love Pro. Now
obviously Love Pro came on the scene the last two years,
and we'll continue to grow and we're adding cities as
we go. We just added La last I think it
was a couple of months ago, and we just added
Minnesota team. So going to continue to hopefully expand cities
and expand markets. Volleyball is interesting of like where you know,

(22:08):
popularity is and I think also understanding where these clubs
and where we continue to grow education. But it's volleyball
is the most played youth sport at the moment. And
I think we'll continue to grow as the years go on.
So that's kind of what we're looking at.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
It's it's wild.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
I was reading up on statistics about volleyball's popularity in
the United States, and I think I read a statistic
or something that was like three hundred thousand young women
play club volleyball in the United States co sign Yeah, something.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
I guess I would say it could possibly be more.
I mean, just take for example, when I started playing club,
which was at twelve, which I'm almost forty now, so
it's a long time ago. I mean, I bet there
was five major clubs here in the metro, you know,
eastern part of Nebraska. And at the time, like of
those clubs, there was about two teams per age group,

(22:58):
so again a handful of you know, maybe from that's
from twelve to eighteen. Now it's like there's five, five
to six teams per age group, and then there's a
regional team, and then there's like a non regional team,
so there's travel teams and their home and now they're
also doing it in the middle of high school season.
So if you're not playing high school and you want
to play volleyball, like there's opportunities to play even during

(23:21):
and I'm my mind is like wait, what like and
they're sometimes having to turn kids away, and so it's
I mean here, it's like off the chart, So I
would be shocked if it's not even maybe more than that.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
That's because Nebraska is a volleyball state.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
We really are, We really are.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
We do do differently here, but it has been really
it's been impressive. I think for even me coming back
now and being in the community and just seeing how
much growth has happened is really beautiful.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
So it's interesting to me.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Fun fact, this isn't about me, but I'm going to
tell you that I played volleyball in high school my
freshman year, and then I didn't make the JV team
in high school because I couldn't run a mile in
under ten minutes and so I got cut, which we
know is a really unfortunate part of that statistic that
young woman drop out of sport at double the rate
of young men. So hearing you talk about how now

(24:11):
there's so many different avenues for someone to get involved
in a sport like volleyball, it brings me hope and excitement,
and I think it's symbolic and indicative of where we're
going with our culture of encouraging young women to not
only get involved in sport, but really stay in sport.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
Oh absolutely, And I I'm sorry about that, by the way,
because it's like running fall I'm like running the mile
on the sport, it actually doesn't.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Apply, you know, could not be farther away from like
something that I needed in the.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
White lines exactly. Well.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
And then it's also like now you run for a living.
It's like, you know, right, I mean, I mean for fun,
but just that, yeah, exactly. So anyways, it's yeah, you're right,
And I just I think women just stepping into a
place that like we get to do it as a job.
You know. So many of my friends are having babies
and coming back and people are supporting that, like I

(25:04):
don't know if that existed before. And I just am
so excited to see the landscape change and like you said,
opportunities to continue to grow. And now it's like I
think to what I'm most excited about is that the
United States hasn't seen pro volleyball really besides the Olympics,
you know, and so there is a difference you know
between college ball and you know, pro and I hope
that with time and exposure, they're going to continue to

(25:26):
learn more about what the differences are.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
And even indoor versus beach.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
Right, It's like when we think about the Olympics.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
If we go back to that.

Speaker 3 (25:35):
So many people were dialed in on what was going
on in front of the Eiffel Tower in the Paris Games,
but there was so much more volleyball that was happening inside.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
Absolutely, yes, and I get it, Like, I mean, Eiffel Tower,
like the the beach court was pretty, it was gorgeous,
But no, it is there is a lot of, you know,
volleyball that was happening. But yeah, again, I think it's
just knowledge and exposure and I think that people are
getting behind it. So I'm confident that it's going to
continue to change. And but yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
I want to pivot a little bit and talk about
what was going on for you over the last couple
of years. I know that you've spoken out about how
you yourself as an athlete, experienced a bit of burnout
and even commented further to saying that you had been
having a tough time.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
What was going on and how are we feeling now?

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, So I think the last time we spoke, that
was you said, twenty twenty one. Yeah, So unfortunately I
had been going through another divorce and this one kind
of came out of left field a little bit.

Speaker 4 (26:36):
I didn't.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
I was really at a place where I was again
ready to retire and kind of give over the reins
of you know, I feel like as athletes, there's a
selfish layer, even though it's maybe non intentional. It's like, hey,
I have this goal and I'm trying to go and
but also trying to have a family and all these things.
And so I was really at a place where I'm
you know, willing to give up and ready to give

(26:58):
up my playing career and be a wife and a mom.
And unfortunately that didn't work out, and so I was
kind of stuck at a place where I'm like, all right,
well what I had thought my life was going to be,
like we're starting over. And so then I I took
a contract in Italy and I was like, well, maybe
maybe I still want to play, you know, like it

(27:18):
was still like I we'll see. So I took the
contract and I was like, oh my gosh. First of all,
playing in Italy is amazing. And then I really found
that I still love it, you know. And then I
was like, well, it's the national team still on and
I talk to Karch and so then I was like,
all right, well maybe I'll try for Paris. You know,
who's to say, Like, I don't know how I'm gonna feel,
but we'll give it a shot. But I didn't want

(27:40):
to be half in, half out, So I was like,
if I'm committing, I'm going to commit. So went on
to train with the national team. But I also got
into coaching, So I came back to Nebraska trying to
just be around family, having support and kind of really
rebuilding myself because I had lost just a lot of
a lot of me. I think going through divorce of

(28:00):
any kind or breakup is hard on people, and I
was in a pretty rough place and I'm grateful for
the community here. And I kind of got into coaching
a little bit and then was still playing and kind
of got the best of both worlds. So yeah, I
really just started building myself up lots of therapy, and
I feel like today I'm in a place of just

(28:22):
loving myself and finding inner peace and learning that that
is actually the true happiness is where that's at, and
don't get me wrong. There's still hard days, but I
feel like in a really good place now.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
I appreciate you for sharing that with me, And I
think that what I'm hearing you say really is that
sports showed up.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
For you maybe when you needed it more than ever.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
This opportunity to step into this coaching role and really
embrace and continue to develop so many of the skills
that you've already exemplified are so strong for you when
you feel weak.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
In other aspects of your life.

Speaker 3 (28:57):
To be able to show up on the core work
with others and be that leader that was something that
could help fill your cup back up again.

Speaker 4 (29:05):
Oh immensely.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
And I am so grateful that the doors were still open,
opportunities were still there. And uh yeah, even the coaching piece,
it was like seeing and teaching, you know, of just
and seeing girls excel and areas that you know you
had a small piece in, you know, seeing them light
up that they learned something new really gave me hope
and happiness. So I'm really grateful, And I but a

(29:30):
lot of work internally. I'm realizing I'm highly codependent, I really, yeah,
just learning a lot of things about myself that I
think it's important to do. It's in If any advice,
I would say being single for a long time, learn
about yourself really truly and find you and then you
can you know, be in a good relationship, healthy relationship,

(29:51):
all things.

Speaker 3 (29:52):
So, yeah, we need to talk about your Eprey love
moment in Italy.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Though.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Oh it was amazing, right, amazing and also well it
had to be challenging at times, right because solo travel. Yes,
you have the team, and but it's a different relationship
because you're traveling internationally to play. But I would imagine
it was a lot of both. It was I am
so grateful to be here. It feels so good to
be playing again. And whilst here I am sitting and

(30:17):
eating pasta by myself.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Oh, it was all those feelings all at once. And
you can imagine too, it's like two when you're also
in a marriage, you know, and you have your person,
and it's like you're used to checking in all the time,
you know, and.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
You lose that.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
It's that was tough, you know, the silence of that,
the heaviness of that, and like you said, being alone
over there, it's like it really taught me to like
I really wanted to run often I was like, I
don't want to be here, but nothing else feels good.
I mean, I want to be here, but like nothing
feels good.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
You know.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
It's just like I was searching for something when reality
it's all right here. It's just like piecing it all
back together. So, like you said, it was a mix
of all those things. But I've found wonderful community along
the way and it's been really great.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
How do you cope with this coming inward of sorts?

Speaker 3 (31:09):
Because I think this is something that's actually super relatable
and something that a lot of people struggle with, whether
it is you know, moving on from a relationship or
just really trying to get to this place where you
feel more comfortable with yourself.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Were there any strategies that you used.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
Or tools that you needed, journaling, actually physically running, like
what helped you get better with being less codependent and
better with just being Jordan.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, that's a great question, and I'm still learning kind
of what that is for me. But I would say
I'm a big proponent of therapy, Like I really believe it,
like having someone outside of your life, like have just
a place to like trauma dump, Like just dude, this
is what I'm feeling today like I don't know where
it's coming from.

Speaker 4 (31:51):
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
I think also learning about where your foundation is. You know,
I grew up in a divorce family. You know though,
all those things kind of have an impact on how
I perceive the world and how I perceive myself. And
then I also think, like I I'm big on routine,
like doing a lot of the same thing every day,
like waking up at the same time, whether that's journaling.
I'm working on what that routine is for me. And

(32:15):
then also sitting, you know, half the time where this
you know, like the instant any feeling of uncertainty comes,
it's like okay, let me just scroll, let me mindlessly scroll,
versus like how much are we actually just sitting in quiet?
And so I'm really working on when those moments of
quietness come and the heaviness comes, like what can I
do to just sit in it? Because oftentimes I just

(32:36):
want to do something to avoid it, so.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
We're not the only one sitting in it is hard, right,
Like feeling your feelings is hard.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Yeah, it's hard, But I learned that like actually it
that it's okay to be on my own and that
I am enough on my own and of course I
want to be in a relationship and all the things.
And you know, also my relationship with volleyball, Like what
does that look like? Has that been an outlet? Is
out a safe outlet? Like that's not always going to
be there. So it's like all these internal conversations that

(33:05):
are happening. But yeah, finding just and I think sitting
in gratitude too, Like what are at the end of
the day, what I through things you're grateful for, Like
keeps you rooted in all things, because there's always something
or someone battling something worse than you, and who are
you to think that you're better than that?

Speaker 3 (33:22):
So definitely, you know, you're never really alone in how
you feel, like there's someone else out there that's feeling
the way that you're feeling. And it's just recognizing that
you don't have to sit alone in that feeling, recognizing
that there is just more out there.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Absolutely, absolutely so. And I'm like definition of hard. You know,
I think I've gone through a lot of hard things
in my life, but I would say these last couple
of years have been probably the hardest. And I can
say today, you know, they always say, like on the
other side of it is like beautiful, and I will
say that like it is and you can get there,
you know.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah, as you've been getting to be better, are sitting
with Jordan.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
I usually say this for the end of the show.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
But now when you look in the mirror, what is
it that you see looking back at you.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yeah, I think that someone who likes to compete at
things right, just in general. But I think at the
base of all of it is that I want to
see the best in everyone, and I want to see
just accept people for where they are, regardless of what
they have coming into the situation or what they have
going on in their life. Like I just want to

(34:31):
meet them where they're at. And that again, even though
I have this hard exterior, like I feel deeply and
I care deeply, I think learning how to translate that
better as I get older is really important for me.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
So important, I feel that, especially the older transition. I
feel as though every day that goes by, I'm like,
am I saying what I want to say?

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Am I?

Speaker 3 (34:54):
I mean this even goes back to your legacy comment, right,
It's like, how am I making people feel?

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Because that's the most important piece of the puzzle totally.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
And I think there's a balance between like people pleasing right,
because it's like, how do you like go about like, hey,
I'm going to state the truth. The truth may be hard,
but like on the side of like it's coming from
a deep level of care and love, you know. But
then it's also I want to be your friend, you know,
so like can those two things exist?

Speaker 4 (35:18):
You know?

Speaker 1 (35:19):
So, but I am I'm really grateful for the journey,
and I think, like, yeah, just having more confidence in
who I am and that it's enough and that it's okay.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
So how does it feel for you now to be
kind of transitioning into what will ultimately become this mentorship
coaching role. Are you feeling a little nostalgic for what
was or does this excite you a little bit more?

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, I mean I think it's a mix of both.
I really love working at Nebraska, and I don't know,
there's maybe still a door open there in the future,
Like I don't know what that looks like. I would
love to be involved in some capacity, But yeah, I
just think the mentorship piece, it's like, Okay, I know
I was a different athlete, so I think that's where
it can be a little bit different as far as like, Okay,
this is what I did. Now how do I see

(36:17):
these athletes from where they are and then how can
we move the needle for them? So I just love
like thinking about how to problem solve that, Like that
is what I'm most excited for. And I think just
seeing the game from a different eye, you know, of
like how can you still like win or find success
based off of like where your position is. So I'm
really excited for it and kind of seeing what's next time?

Speaker 3 (36:38):
What do you want them to have that maybe you
felt like was missing for you.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
And I'll give you some context here.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
So when I think about the work that I'm doing today,
I don't remember when I was younger and I was
dealing with my own health struggles to be able to
look at someone who I felt like understood when I
was going and throw I was a young woman in
a bigger body who didn't see women in bigger bodies
that were active the way that marketing was at that time,

(37:09):
it was awful, right, So now I get to step
into this role where I can be a resource for
so many people who maybe have felt at.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Some time in a similar way.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
So now as you step into this mentorship and this
coaching role, what did you feel like was missing that
you now have an opportunity to bring to the table.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
I think it's like the level of IQ, you know,
I think so much of maybe what people perceive, even
from a fans standpoint, it's like, oh, this girl can
jump high and hit hard and kill balls. Right to me,
there's so much more to the game than just being
able to kill a ball. There's a lot of little
plays that aren't on the stat sheet, that aren't seen.
How are you as a teammate, How are you supporting

(37:49):
one another? How are you creating trouble on the other
side of the net, even if it's not killing the ball.
I think there's all these little stats that like we
don't see, but to me, that adds up to a
lot lot more value over time. And I also think
the meaning of success right, like how do you want
it to feel at the end? I think that to
me matters more than you know a winner loss's And

(38:11):
also I think the risk of failure right Sometimes in
our gym we talk about failing fast, like the faster
you fail, the more you learn, and so like, how
is this like risk taking how much risk are you
taking in practice? Because the more risk you take, when
you get to game time, you're you're like, well, I've
done this a thousand times and I've created this risk

(38:32):
and now I know the exact result is what I
want to go. So I think there's a lot of
nuances that can kind of come with it. But I
would say those be the first two.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
What do you think the fastest you've ever failed and
learned has been?

Speaker 1 (38:47):
Yeah, I would say my first quad on the national
team twenty twelve. Like it was kind of like, hey,
we're going to teach you all these new skills, and
I'm like, wait, what, Like I was, I'm just a
national championship, Like I just want like does that not enough?
You know, like on you know, I should know everything already,
And he was like, no, no, we're going to reteach
you everything and if you don't learn, like you're just
gonna self select out. And I'm like, Okay, well I

(39:09):
better learn and I better learn fast and I'm probably
gonna suck to start, And but I found that, like
I kind of succumbed to that as far as like
this isn't going to be pretty. But sometimes we get
worse before we get better. And I really bought into
that concept. So I'm really grateful for that time, those
first two years, and I think that was probably the

(39:30):
biggest I would say shift for me. That also allowed
my brain to like go there more when I was
learning a new skill along my career.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
What do you say to the person that has really
not absorbed this concept of failure as opportunity because for
so many you can get so down and out, and
especially understandably when you've worked hard towards something and it
doesn't go your way, they can get so down and
out and then they're kind of down and out for

(39:59):
a bit. How you embrace perhaps maybe a little bit
more of that fail forward and at times a goldfish mindset?

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Yeah, I think exactly.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
I think what you just said goldfish like how quickly
we talk about failure recovery, right, like how quickly can
you come out of the bottom right and not sitting
in it? And I think asking for help, asking for resources?
What do those resources look like for you? And maybe
that's even as a different direction, you know, maybe it's
not the path that you are on, Like how do
I try something else or something new? You know, sometimes

(40:29):
when they I don't know. When we're talking about skill development,
sometimes if you just change the environment that you're in
actually creates a different like style of learning or maybe
something that you weren't doing before. So but I think
you're right gold like being goldfish like, it's so true.
But I mean, I will say, even for me, like
as I transition into a different role in the coming years,

(40:50):
you know, it is scary. It's like, well, I've known
exactly how to execute cute a job for the last
thirty years basically, like, well, like what am I getting
to and have the grace that I'm probably not going
to have it figured out and I probably don't know everything.
You've played valibell for a long time. But coaching is different,
you know, And how do I want to be and
how do I want people to feel? That's going to

(41:10):
take time and I think not judging yourself also like
where you're at.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
So yeah, you know, as you were saying, the being
willing to embrace those failures and sometimes understand that the
path isn't going to be the one that you envisioned.
It's hard not to then bring us back to that
conversation of you making that hard pivot after your divorce,
right and getting to this place where you had to

(41:37):
fully embrace this is how it is now, and it
was different five minutes ago, and it's going to be
different five minutes from now.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
But all I can do is the best I can
in this situation.

Speaker 4 (41:46):
Yeah, it's so true.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Well even for you, I'm sure like the marketing piece
now right, like as you're transitioning, like if you would
have probably just stayed in your lane, like you would
have never had these opportunities. And sometimes it's like maybe
we're just not looking in the right places, you know,
maybe there's opportunities in other facets that you know you're
risking something else and maybe you still feel there, you know,
you don't know, but unless you're kind of and it

(42:11):
really just depends internally how you are, because there's some
days where I was like I can't get out of bed,
you know, like there is just the heaviness of the day,
everything that's going on, Like those things are real and
like you're almost paralyzed that you're just like nothing doesn't matter,
you know, and it's I don't know, I think like
having community around you that can continue to encourage and
breathe light into you, I think is equally just as important.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
It's so important, and also doing that audit of what's
important to you. I haven't talked about this much on
the show, but there's a lot of runners that listen
to the show. Understandably, I'm a runner as well. But
I had to make a conscious decision on what I
wanted to do and how I wanted to keep learning
and moving forward. I didn't want to just have conversation

(42:54):
with female runners. I love them, they're amazing, but I
wanted to grow and understand the mindset for women who
are the best to do what they do across sport,
across wellness. And that's why I'm entering into this new
chapter for the show, because.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
I want to keep learning.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
Just like you, you ask yourself at the beginning of
a new season, am I done learning yet? And when
you look around you and you see that there's still
opportunity to garner new inspiration and continue to be a
student of the sport, that's what keeps you coming back
for more.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Absolutely absolutely, And I think, yeah, you just keep expanding
on that and it's and it's beautiful to learn and
it's hard though. It's like man, but if you think
you got it all figured out, then that's the wrong
for me. It's like the wrong place to be as well.
So and I think I just never I've always had
this general layer of curiosity, like just tell me what
it is, even for you, I'm like, let me ask

(43:43):
you all these questions.

Speaker 4 (43:44):
I want to know, like why do you want to
do what you do? You know?

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Like I love that you're curious, and I think, like,
in my we need more of it, you know. I
think it's we have so much access at our hands now,
which is great, you know, and I believe that we're
more educated, but yeah, I love that the curiosity piece too.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
How do you think that your curiosity is working to
your advantage right now?

Speaker 2 (44:05):
In this chapter?

Speaker 1 (44:07):
I think just embracing changes, you know, like what it's
not going to feel great, you know, because it's different,
that's okay, and that doesn't mean it's wrong, and that
remain curious and keep asking questions, and that it's never
I am grateful. My mom was always like, hey, there's
no dumb questions, like just keep asking, you know. And
I think that there's something to be said about that,

(44:28):
and I feel like that has always remained true to me.
It's just like I'm going to ask you probably a
bajillion questions, but I'm probably going to get to the route,
you know eventually. You know.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
So ninety nine point nine percent of the time, what
I have found is that if you have a question
and you're worrying that it's a dumb question, more often
than not, someone sitting next to you at that exact
moment probably has the exact same one totally totally.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
And it's like, well, if you're the person that just asks,
like cares, but yeah, I'm the same. I'm like, just
ask the question like it's okay, And the person that's
even the one that is being asked the question, you're like, oh,
I've totally why you would ask that, you know. So
it's more of us like having the internal battle ourselves
than actually what the perception of reality is.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
What's your hope moving forward when we think about love.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
Love in general, or love that I mean, whatever you
want to take, Where are we going with that?

Speaker 4 (45:18):
No?

Speaker 1 (45:18):
No, honestly, for League one, I just really hope that
I don't know, that people continue to fall in love
with the sport, and that having access to a higher
level only brings more depth of love and expansion, and
that we can continue to elevate female in sport and
really giving them opportunities to see a life as a
professional athlete at home, you know, and that having a

(45:41):
baby and coming back is a possibility and you can
have both and do very well at them. And then
for love, for me, it's like loving myself and loving
where I'm at and just taking it a day at
a time.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
I appreciate that you answered both sides of that question.
It wasn't even intentional. Candidly, I don't foresee a world
where League one doesn't continue to grow to rapid fanfare.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
I believe right now.

Speaker 3 (46:08):
With the culture that we're seeing within women in sport
and also with what we've seen with the WNBA. I mean,
we're finally looking at a CBA that's a minimum salary
of one point one million per player, like that's been
so long in the making. So the momentum is there,
and that conversation wouldn't even be possible had it not

(46:29):
been for that momentum.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Oh absolutely, And that I just got chills because it's
like I don't know to think about, you know, I
a lot of volleyball players that have committed you know,
two cycles Olympics, you know, are still having to work right,
and I think they want to work right. And so
I think about most men that are in professional sports
in the United States, like once they retire, like it's

(46:52):
like they really don't have to work, Like they can
be at home, they can do all these things. And
so the fact is, like, now we have women that
could be making that and like setting themselves up for
a wonderful future that they can be home with their
families and they get to choose what they want to
do post retirement. And the freedom that comes with that
is like just immense. And so I think that not

(47:13):
only am I excited, like you said, to like continue
to see the expansion, but just also the freedom, the
financial freedom, the personal freedom that the love that you
have for the sport can go somewhere and do something
bigger than what we ever imagine.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
It's so true.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
Now you just said some people keeping up other jobs.
What's the craziest job that you know someone has maintained
while playing pro volleyball?

Speaker 4 (47:38):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
You know, I've been lucky that I've been surrounded that
people continue they can they can have just only that life.
But it's like post retirement, they have to do something.
So I will say, though there are certain countries. You know,
when I played in Puerto Rico, it was like we
had to have a practice in the evening because everybody
was working at nine to five, so it was only
eight o'clock practice eight to ten. And it's not normal

(48:01):
to just be a professional athletes. So I wouldn't say
there's a crazy job that I've heard per se, but
there are even now I have a teammate now she's
working typically two jobs, you know, remotely that she's you know,
still trying to she wants to buy a house, and
it's just like, wait, what are we doing? What?

Speaker 2 (48:16):
You know, how does this work.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
It's many years ago I wrote this article on this
female cycling team out of California, and I interviewed a
handful of the ladies and all of them had crazy
cool jobs before they finally decided, Okay, I'm gonna go
out on a whim and try to follow my passion. Right.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Many of them.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Were teachers or doctors or lawyers, and then they were like,
life is too short not to at least give this
a full try.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
And I just thought, that is so awesome.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
You're not talking to respectfully male pro cyclists who were
former lawyers and doctors.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
They just went all in on that from the get go.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
I know it's so true, and I commend people that
are able to do that, that are even in a
profession for twenty plus years, and like, actually, I want
to go back to school like that is like that
is bravery at its finest. So it's yeah, cool.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
And it's finest.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
Okay, So before I let you go here, today, we
are thinking about the next year of Love.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
It's something to look forward to.

Speaker 3 (49:19):
Now we have Love Nebraska, what will be changing for you?
It's interesting for me this like dichotomy of being a
player and a co owner. Is that weird at times
for you?

Speaker 4 (49:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:32):
The first conversation we had a first team meeting, it
was like one of my teammates like, so, can you
fire me? And I was like no, Like, I mean,
it's a real legit question, right, especially if you're not
really maybe understanding the business side. But yeah, no, it's uh,
it's fine. And I feel like we've kind of had
that conversation of what that looks like. But luckily that
the ownership piece and that they've just allowed me to

(49:53):
continue and embrace this year of playing and really enjoy
the process as I go. So what I'm really just
excited for. I love the girls that I feel like
we created a great foundation last year and it feels
very seamless as we come into season two now, and
as we continue to ramp up and there's excitement for
the for the season, I'm I don't know. I think
it's gonna look different, it's gonna feel different, And we

(50:15):
learned a lot first year, and I think it's gonna
be even better this year.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Biggest learning from year one.

Speaker 4 (50:22):
I think we just didn't know. You know.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
It's like we're we're creating these positions in a place
that we've never seen before, right, So almost this layer
of expectation of like, oh, right, well, this is what
it should look like and how it should be, and
it's just like, but we really don't know, right And
so now coming into year two, it's like, all right, now,
I know exactly how I want this to look, how
I wanted to feel. And last year it wasn't bad.

(50:46):
There was a little clunkiness, you know, of just you know,
maybe travel or you know, scheduling or something like that.
But I think it's you know, we're learning now. It's like,
all right, we're hitting the ground run. And now we
have a new facility that we're in, which is absolutely beautiful,
and I don't know, it feels so much more just
ready and wholesome this.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Year ready and wholesome.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
You know, in order to do something different, you have
to do things that are different, right, and so to
create something from scratch is hard, regardless of what you're
working on. But to do it with such momentum like
we saw in year one, I can only imagine that
really exciting and good things are ahead for you all. Now,
final question for you, Jordan. I really appreciate how you

(51:27):
opened up today about what you've been going through over
the last few years. I think that vulnerability is just
so important for so many people listening.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Knowing what you know, now, what.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
Advice would you give yourself, Let's say, even like twenty
twenty three, twenty twenty four, are going through that Hurtle moment.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Yeah, I think that there was moments where I was
still trying to like run, you know, like I internally
was just like I want to feel good and like
seeking in maybe places that I shouldn't have, you know,
and whether that's you know, I don't know, putting myself
in positions that I just shouldn't have been in, you know.
And but like the feeling of depth of emotion that

(52:04):
I was feeling that I was just like, man, I
don't know, something just not right. And so I think
I would go back to tell myself that like, it's
gonna hurt, but that doesn't mean that that's wrong, that
like even in the pain and the hurt, like it's
okay to sit in it, and that on the other
side of like taking the time to heal internally, like

(52:24):
it's gonna be worth it. So I think I'm kind
of hitting that. I would say the last year or
so of just this piece, I think I wish I
would have done that maybe a little bit sooner. So
I'm I'm really grateful and never I probably never would
have said that a couple of years ago, because it
was it was hard, but it's been a really good
journey of just finding who I am again.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
Hard but better for it again. Thank you so much
for sharing so much with us today. I'm so excited
that we were able to sit down again. It's been
too long, Jordan. For those that aren't following along with
you on social just yet give us the details.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Yeah, so you can follow me on Instagram at gov
ten zero seven. My nickname is the Governor And I
think I'm on Twitter or sorry.

Speaker 4 (53:08):
X, what do you call it?

Speaker 2 (53:08):
You're like, what are we calling it? Thread?

Speaker 4 (53:10):
I know threads?

Speaker 1 (53:11):
Yeah whatever, Jordan Larson ten and then I do. I
just got TikTok kind of Jordan Larson zero one on TikTok.
I just posted my first TikTok, just trying to blend
in with the the youth.

Speaker 4 (53:22):
You know.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
What was the TikTok?

Speaker 4 (53:26):
It was with me and Lexi Rodriguez.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
We did the I don't remember the song, but you know,
I'm just trying to trying to blend in.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
I don't know if it's working.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
But and I still have Facebook for all those old
people out there, still have Facebook.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Over and see my page.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
I'm over at Emily and Vadi and at Hurdle Vodcast
another Hurdle Conquered.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
Catch you guys next time

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