Have you ever allowed perfectionism to be the thing that prevents you from forward progress? I definitely have. Sharing my perfectionism playbook today, including three actionable tips to help you let go of how you believe things "should" be in favor of graduating to what you really want.
SOCIAL
AG1 | Head to DrinkAG1.com/Hurdle to get a free welcome kit (valued at $75) with 5 free travel packs and a year's supply of D3K2 with your purchase of AG1 next gen.
JOIN: The Daily Hurdle IG Channel
ASK ME A QUESTION: Email hello@hurdle.us to ask me a question!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm going to hold your hand when I say this,
perfection is the enemy of progress. The goal is to
be a perfect human. It's to be a human who
keeps going. And that, my friends, that's the ultimate hurdle conquered.
(00:28):
What's going on, Emily? Here? You are listening to episode
three seventy six of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where
I chat with inspirational people about everything from their highest
tides and toughest moments to essential tips on how to
live a healthier, happier, more motivated life. We all go
through our fair share of hurdles. My goal through these
(00:50):
discussions is to empower you to better navigate yours and
move with intention so that you can stride towards your
own big potential and of course have some fun along
the way. Tuesday morning, what is going on? I need
to tell you something. For a while now, I've been
thinking about shifting the I don't even want to call
(01:13):
it the main episode of the week, but that's really what.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
This is the main episode of the week away from Monday.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Literally the week after I started the podcast back in
twenty eighteen, I was thinking about did I do something
wrong by launching it on Monday, and to this day,
I feel overwhelmed. When I opened my podcast app on Mondays,
I'm like, there's a lot here. I have the you know,
the few that I lean into right away. But why
(01:40):
am I not setting myself up for success by launching
on a different day. That is what I wondered, That's
what I still wondered, and so we're going to play
with it. There are some changes come into the show
and this is one of them. Welcome to the Tuesday release.
I'd be super curious to get your feedback on it.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Do you like it? Do you mind? Are you unphased?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
So feel free to come into my DMS over at
Hurdle podcast. Also, you know me, I'm over at Emily Body.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I want to hear what.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You think where your head's at. For today's episode, I'm
mixing things up. I'm getting a lot of requests for
a solo and I am feeling compelled to talk to
you about perfectionism, not about why that can be a
good thing, but actually to the contrary. Today I'm giving
you my anti perfectionism playbook.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I truly believe.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Over the last few years that learning to accept good
enough is really what has become the key to long
term consistency and success. I mean, ask yourself, have you
ever felt like you were either all in or completely
all out? Like the workout is imperfect, so you scrap
your whole day, or you went off track with trying
(02:56):
to eat well and so the rest of the day
you just eat anything and everything. Yeah, I have totally
been there, and that all or nothing mindset isn't a
lack of discipline. It is truly perfectionism in disguise. And
that perfectionism it give me the number one hurdle blocking
long term consistency. And so my promise for you today
(03:20):
is that by the end of this episode you're going
to have practical rules to beat the perfectionism cycle, and
with those tools, you can find joy in what I
like to refer to as sustainable, messy progress.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Because progress is progress.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
We're going to move forward together while embracing this anti
perfectionism playbook as always, Like I said before, you know
how to find me. I'm over at Hurdle Podcast. I'm
also over at Emily a Body, and I.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Called for your feedback. I really do want it.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
So whether you have thoughts on the new Tuesday launch date,
if you have a listener question that I can answer
in an upcoming of five minute Friday. Whatever it is, I
am all ears. You can email me over at Hello
at Hurdle dot us. For anyone else that's running at
Chicago this weekend, I will be out there. I'm not
hosting anything on the ground, but I will be bopping around.
(04:14):
So please say hello, come, say what's up. I'd love
to meet you. And with that, let's get to it.
Let's get to the anti perfectionism playbook. I have let
perfectionism win so many times. And when I say that
(04:37):
I've let perfectionism win, what happens is that I stop
forward progress because something's not looking as I envisioned. I'll
give you an example of how I have evolved with
my relationship with perfectionism. I am running my sixteenth marathon
this weekend. And years ago, if I had to miss
(05:00):
a workout, or a workout didn't go as I had
hoped it would go, or I had to adjust my
amount of my edge, I would worry that that one
modification or those few modifications would have dramatic ramifications for
my ultimate goal. And what I've come to learn over
(05:21):
time is that that isn't how it works. Case in point,
when you are training for a marathon. Every weekend, on Saturday,
you have a long run. I choose to do mine
on Saturdays, and life happens, and there are going to
be some days where maybe you need to modify the distance.
(05:42):
You have to adapt in case it's super warm outside,
maybe you have a life event, and so you have
to change the schedule around. I this year went to
Japan for two weeks and was still able to get
in my long runs, but I modified them. It was
ninety five to ninety five percent humidity in bright, brilliant sunshine.
(06:05):
Was there a difference between me running the RX of
twenty two miles versus what felt a little bit safer
when I was out there doing the thing akaa twenty miles. No,
there really was no negative thing that was going to
happen by me cutting two miles.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Off of one run.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
But the Emily of Gosh ten years ago would have
had so much anxiety about that for so long. There
is a big distinction between healthy striving, so like I
want to accomplish X, and perfectionism, which is I must
(06:46):
achieve X or people will think why perfectionism is about
often external validation and a fear of criticism, and that
just isn't a solid foundation for going after the things
that ex So in order to do some work on this,
we've got to unmask the perfectionism trap as a whole.
(07:07):
The first thing let's discuss is how we often tie
our self worth to our performance. So you identify a
certain way. I just said, I'm running my sixteenth marathon
this weekend. I identify as a marathoner. I am a
marathonor or let's drive it to I am a healthy eater.
I am someone that eats well. Now, that is how
I identify. And then when I fail, and I'll put
(07:31):
quotes around that, at that action, it feels as though
I am failing as a person I identify in this way.
So when I'm injured, for instance, and I can't run
by the identify as a runner, I feel conflicted. When
I am someone that eats a certain way and I
am constantly going against that, that might not feel so
(07:55):
well ultimately, and I could feel again like I am failing.
Now the reframe here is really reinforcing our core message,
which is your worth is inherent. It is not conditional
on your performance. I'll say that Again, your worth is inherent.
It is not conditional on your performance or how you
(08:18):
act or what you choose to do in the example
of a healthy eater. So the goal here is to
separate your identity from activity. You are bigger than whatever
label it is that you put on yourself, and I
think it's really important here to highlight what can often
be this comparison.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Culture catalyst of social media.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Now social media in the highlight reel of perfect meals
and flawless workouts like we are inundated with it, and
it also creates an impossible fake standard. So I want
to introduce to you a tool that I use very often,
which I call scrolling quit. It's my scroll and quit technique.
(09:02):
And so, if you are on the socials, whether it's Instagram, TikTok,
if you still use Facebook, wherever you might be, and
you realize that you're comparing yourself to someone you see
in a workout outfit, or you're thinking about the foods
that you ve eate in on how they don't look
as beautiful as this perfectly crafted asa ebowl or protein
bagel or avocado toast and whatever, close the app immediately
(09:26):
and start something else, like start some other activities. Scroll
and quit, right, That's what I'm calling it. So don't
let whatever it is that you're comparing yourself to derail
what is reality. So many people, myself included, that we
are leaning into social media as an escape from the
(09:46):
things that we quote unquote should be doing or maybe
things that could be better serving us. So when you
go on there and you see something that makes you
feel less valuable.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That ain't it? It ain't it? Soh you scroll and
you quit.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Now, I've got three rules that I lean into when
I think about my playbook for counteracting perfectionism. And my
first rule is that you've got to implement the minimal
viable effort. So let's call that M THEE. The concept
here is that you want to lower the bar so
that you cannot fail, which I know you you're feeling
(10:25):
it in your heart of hearts as someone who identifies
as a perfectionist. At times, you don't want.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
To lower the bar. I get it.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
But the fact is that consistent effort is better than
sporadic perfection. I'll say that one more time. Consistent effort
is better than sporadic perfection.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
So what do I mean by that?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I mean that if you can consistently let's say you
want to move more, If you can consistently walk for
twenty minutes three days a week, that is so much
better than it's going on a ten mile walk once
every three weeks. Right, you want to develop habits and
(11:08):
strive for goals that ultimately help you level up again.
I talk about it in the intro every week. My
goal is to help you live healthier, happier, more motivated lives.
And you will be shocked at what comes when you
allow yourself to lean into these consistent, albeit imperfect actions,
(11:30):
and oftentimes that consistent, imperfect action will help you level
up in the long run. So when I started running,
this was in two thousand and eight, almost twenty years ago,
which is absolutely wild. When I started running, I didn't
allow what I had exposure to, of what I thought
(11:53):
success could look like, deter me from doing what felt
attainable for me in my body as I was. And
so every day I set out to go run what
I thought was a mile, and it ended up being
half mile.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
But that is neither here nor there.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
I would get myself together after lunch every day and
lace up my sneakers and put on my black Target
leggings and a white Hanes V neck and I would
go out and I would run my distance and I
would come back and I would feel so accomplished.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
And that's because I was.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Defining what quote unquote success looked like for myself in
a way that was attainable. So for me, my minimum
viable effort was I'm going to get out there and
move my body for this amount of distance and that's it.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
That's that's it.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And some days it might be a walk run, and
other days it might be just a walk. But whatever
it was, I allowed that to be enough. The real
victory wasn't in you know, the exact output, but rather
it was in keeping that habit alive and telling myself
(13:08):
you are capable of showing up regularly. Again, consistency is
better than perfection. So consistent imperfect effort is better than
sporadic perfection.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
There I said it.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
My second rule when we talk about this anti perfectionism
playbook is activate the fifteen minute re entry window. The
fifteen minute re entry window. This concept might blow your mind.
You Basically you want to stop the perfectionism spiral and
recognize that one mistake or one thing not going as
(13:46):
you hope does not need to wreck the remainder of
your day, or your week or what have you.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
So let's give an example. I have worked a lot.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
On redeveloping my relationship with food over the last year
and have really put an emphasis on eating a lot
of protein. Right, that doesn't mean on a day where
I realize it's five PM and I've consumed a total
of eight grams of protein that the day in itself
is a wash. Rather, if I realize this, my question
(14:23):
will be what is the next thing that I can
choose to do within the next fifteen minutes to correct.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Or make the situation better.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
So in this example, all right, shoot, it's five pm,
I haven't consumed any protein whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Rather than throwing up my hands and going to eat.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
A pizza, which like sounds delicious, not gonna lie in
some days, maybe that's maybe that's what you need to do.
But I can look in my fridge and say, Okay,
what can I do to make this situation better with
what I have? Again, your mistake or your slip up
does not need to define the day, the hour, whatever,
(15:06):
but your next fifteen minutes can. So another example, maybe
you had quite the night on Tuesday, you had a
work event, there were drinks, you were having one too
many sippies, and so on Wednesday morning when you wake
up you're not feeling your best. We've all been there, right, Okay.
(15:28):
Just because maybe you're not in the place to do
the workout that you wanted to do on Wednesday when
you wake up doesn't mean that all of Wednesday needs
to be a wash. It's what happens in the fifteen
minutes after you make this decision that things aren't going
to go as you had hoped. That really sets the
tone for where you go from there. The fifteen minute
(15:51):
re entry window. So in this example, Okay, maybe not
the best idea for me to go lift heavy things
at the jay, But what if I get outside and
take a nice long walk to start my day, or
what if I'm not in the mental space to do
that in the morning.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Totally understandable.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay, Can I market on my calendar to get outside
and do that walk later or maybe by the evening
I'll feel like I am in the place to lift
some weights. How can I modify? What can I do
in the next fifteen minutes? What is within my power
to move forward again. This process the fifteen minute reandrew window.
(16:34):
It's going to halt that spiral of guilt. Listen, one
small slip up does not have to become the self
fulfilling prophecy of failure.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
It doesn't need to happen that way.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What can happen next is completely within your control. Taking
a break to talk to you about my lung term
partner at AG One, I've.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Talked about this Recently.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Ag One released their next generation, the same single scoop
once a day, but now with more vitamins, minerals, and
upgraded pro biotics. Plus it's clinically backed by four human
clinical trials. They have seriously gone the distance to raise
the standard in supplement testing. But it gets even better
(17:25):
because there are also three new flavors We've got. Tropical
it tastes sweet, vibrant, and bright like the paya and
passion fruit for people who like a louder flavor, Citrus,
which is sweet and tangy and taste like orange and lemon.
And berry that's subtly sweet and taste like strawberries and
blueberries and raspberries. From what I've heard, the berry is
(17:48):
the fan favorite. I myself am Team Citrus. Anyway, I
am always drinking my AG one first thing in the morning,
but when I tell you, I am zeroed in, dialed
in on my supplement game right now. I just got
back from Tokyo for the World Athletics Championships, and I
am focused on not making my sleep schedule under control,
(18:12):
but really just doing everything I can to take care
of my body right now, and AG one is a
huge part of that. The upgraded AG one next Jen
also has B complex, vitamin E, magnesium, and selenium, so
much goodness to help me feel the best in my
(18:32):
body now.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Of course, I've got a deal for you.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
If you head on over to drinkag one dot com
slash hurdle, you can get five free at travel packs
plus a year's supply of Vitamin D three K two
for free with your purchase. Again, head on over to
Drink ag one Drink ag number one dot com slash
hurdle to get your free travel packs, Vitamin D three
(18:57):
K two and welcome kit with your perch.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
The third rule.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
That I'm going to offer you as part of my
anti perfectionism playbook is going to be challenging, and that
is practice deliberate imperfection. So what I mean by this
is you want to intentionally do something slightly air quotes
messy to expose your need for control and prove that
(19:30):
your world won't end a few different examples of what
this could look like in practice. You are someone who
likes to work out for very deliberate amounts of time,
Like you like to walk on an incline for thirty minutes,
or be on an elliptical for twenty minutes, or ride
a stationary bike or you get what I'm saying here
(19:52):
for X amount of minutes. What happens if you do
it for twenty nine minutes and thirty two seconds or
twelve minutes and fifty seconds instead of fifteen minutes. You'll
realize in the moment, as your anxiety may or may
not kick in, that life goes on when you stop
a little bit early, and that it is okay to
(20:16):
release the need for perfectionism. It's like exposure therapy for
your high standards, if you will right exposure therapy for
your high standards. I've heard so many times that if
you have a fear of flying, one of the best
things that you can do is still like take yourself
to the airport. I know that can be extremely inconvenient
for a lot of people, but basically the goal there
(20:37):
is to go through the act of what it could
feel like if you are going to get on a plane,
so that you could slowly feel better about the entirety
of the experience. This is the same thing we need
to chip away at the need for one hundred percent
control and understand that the best thing you can do
(20:58):
for yourself is learning to be okay with good enough.
Not every day is going to be perfect, and that
is not the goal. The goal is not to achieve
perfection every day, but consistently show up and do the
best you can with what you have.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
All Right, so I've given you my three rules.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
My anti perfection is on playbook We've got implementing the
minimum viable effort. So what does that look like. That
looks like lowering the bar so you cannot fail. Consistent
action is better than sporadic perfection. Consistent action better than
sporadic perfection. Rule number two, activate that fifteen minute re
(21:42):
entry window, recognizing that when something goes array, maybe it's
not going as you had hoped, or perhaps you are
dealing with the byproducts of earlier decisions, whatever that might be.
Understand that at any time you have the choice to say, okay,
what happens in the next fifteen minutes, This is my
opportunity to decide what happens next. And then Rule number
(22:04):
three is practice deliberate imperfection, getting to a place where
you are okay with good enough, recognizing that if something
isn't as you intended, that doesn't mean that it cannot
be good.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
It can be great, I promise.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I want to encourage you to look inward right now,
because I do believe that we can have every tool
in the toolbox, but how you feel about yourself when
you are by yourself is the most important thing. A
huge tool that I use when I'm faced with these
all or nothing situations, when I'm dealing with my perfectionist kremlin.
(22:44):
Is I sit down and I ask myself, six months
from now, will this decision be one that my future
self would thank me for? So in that example of
I like to do things for a specific amount of time,
whether that be hike on the treadmill, going on an elliptical,
(23:05):
go on a bike, my future self would be proud
of my past self for putting in the effort at all,
rather than being like, well, if I don't have thirty minutes,
then it's not worth it, because we know that's not true.
So your future self, I can promise you will always
thank you for a small, more consistent action, not the
(23:26):
perfect one that you never started a massively huge piece
to the puzzle. When I think about beating my perfectionist
tendencies in mindset is understanding that most of the time
it's just.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Not gonna be perfect and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Many times, I and I'm sure many other people that
you follow, have referenced this rule of third s. Alexipapas
made it pretty famous well known a few years ago
on The Ritual podcast, where she talked about a third
of her workouts being absolute junk, a third of her
workouts feeling okay, and a third of them going really well,
(24:03):
and she recognizes that that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
So on the days when you have one of those
workouts that doesn't go really well, you understand that that's okay,
because a third of your workouts are going to feel
that way.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Period.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
For me, I've done the best that I can to
understand that a third of the time I have this
opportunity to really feel stellar in whatever it is that
I am attacking. And yes, I strive for more than that,
but I'm not hard on myself when things feel just
okay or maybe less than stellar. I approach those situations
(24:40):
with a certain level of compassion and grace, understanding that
this is just how it is now, and embracing the
tools that I explain to you, especially that fifteen minute
rule to ask myself, Okay, what happens next? Whenever something
goes poorly And if I happen to get on the
phone with my father shortly after, he always asks me
(25:02):
that question, what's next. I have been, and I know
it's not coming from a place of like not wanting
to have compassion, but I have been like in tears
talking to him and he will say to me, like,
I see you, this is such a valid reaction and
what's next?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
And that little bit of.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Tough love has really instilled in me that what's next
is again my opportunity, and it's your opportunity to yes,
feel your feelings and then graduate to what's next.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So here I am I'm challenging you.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I want you to identify one area this week where
you can aim for a B minus effort. I feel
like this is very i don't know, different than maybe
some of the other people that you follow that are
like you deserve the best hard work is within you.
It is, but like you've got your stick it out
(26:00):
and grind like, yeah, there are moments to like stick
it out and grind forward.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I hear that.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
But let's talk about what is manageable? Where is the compassion?
How can you show up regularly as your best self?
And that for me is us beating this perfectionate mindset
ninety nine point nine percent of the time.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's not that serious. Okay.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You deserve to have big goals. You deserve to, you know,
go after all the things that excite you, and in
doing that, you have to have compassion for yourself. So
again my question for you this week is what is
an area that you're gonna aim for a B minus effort?
For me this week, my B minus effort is probably
(26:47):
showing up for other people.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I still, you know, want to be a good friend.
I want to show up for the people that I
care about.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
And I recognize that I have a big week on deck,
and what's best for Emily might not be necessarily putting
other people first in the way that I typically am
capable of. I literally two hours ago cancel a dinner
plan with a friend because it just it didn't feel
like what was best for Emily. But I will highlight
(27:13):
in the cancelation of that dinner plan, I did propose
another time at a point this month where I know
I will have more bandwidth.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I digress.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I'm going to hold your hand when I say this,
perfection is the enemy of progress. The goal is to
be a perfect human. It's to be a human who
keeps going. And that, my friends, that's the ultimate hurdle
conquered perfectionism. We're working on it.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
This week.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I want to hear your takeaways. I want to know
what you're doing when we talk about an area where
you're aiming for a.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
B minus effort.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Tag me the show over at Hurdle podcasts at Emily
A Body, And again, like I said at the top
of this episode, I want to hear your feedback on
the Tuesday mornings.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Do we like them, how do we feel? What's going
on in your life? Let's catch up? Give me all
the goods. I want to know.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I'm over at Emily A Body, an at Hurdle Podcast,
Another hurdle conquered.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Catch you guys next time.
I'm going to hold your hand when I say this,
perfection is the enemy of progress. The goal is to
be a perfect human. It's to be a human who
keeps going. And that, my friends, that's the ultimate hurdle conquered.
(00:28):
What's going on, Emily? Here? You are listening to episode
three seventy six of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where
I chat with inspirational people about everything from their highest
tides and toughest moments to essential tips on how to
live a healthier, happier, more motivated life. We all go
through our fair share of hurdles. My goal through these
(00:50):
discussions is to empower you to better navigate yours and
move with intention so that you can stride towards your
own big potential and of course have some fun along
the way. Tuesday morning, what is going on? I need
to tell you something. For a while now, I've been
thinking about shifting the I don't even want to call
(01:13):
it the main episode of the week, but that's really what.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
This is the main episode of the week away from Monday.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Literally the week after I started the podcast back in
twenty eighteen, I was thinking about did I do something
wrong by launching it on Monday, and to this day,
I feel overwhelmed. When I opened my podcast app on Mondays,
I'm like, there's a lot here. I have the you know,
the few that I lean into right away. But why
(01:40):
am I not setting myself up for success by launching
on a different day. That is what I wondered, That's
what I still wondered, and so we're going to play
with it. There are some changes come into the show
and this is one of them. Welcome to the Tuesday release.
I'd be super curious to get your feedback on it.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Do you like it? Do you mind? Are you unphased?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
So feel free to come into my DMS over at
Hurdle podcast. Also, you know me, I'm over at Emily Body.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I want to hear what.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You think where your head's at. For today's episode, I'm
mixing things up. I'm getting a lot of requests for
a solo and I am feeling compelled to talk to
you about perfectionism, not about why that can be a
good thing, but actually to the contrary. Today I'm giving
you my anti perfectionism playbook.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I truly believe.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Over the last few years that learning to accept good
enough is really what has become the key to long
term consistency and success. I mean, ask yourself, have you
ever felt like you were either all in or completely
all out? Like the workout is imperfect, so you scrap
your whole day, or you went off track with trying
(02:56):
to eat well and so the rest of the day
you just eat anything and everything. Yeah, I have totally
been there, and that all or nothing mindset isn't a
lack of discipline. It is truly perfectionism in disguise. And
that perfectionism it give me the number one hurdle blocking
long term consistency. And so my promise for you today
(03:20):
is that by the end of this episode you're going
to have practical rules to beat the perfectionism cycle, and
with those tools, you can find joy in what I
like to refer to as sustainable, messy progress.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Because progress is progress.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
We're going to move forward together while embracing this anti
perfectionism playbook as always, Like I said before, you know
how to find me. I'm over at Hurdle Podcast. I'm
also over at Emily a Body, and I.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Called for your feedback. I really do want it.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
So whether you have thoughts on the new Tuesday launch date,
if you have a listener question that I can answer
in an upcoming of five minute Friday. Whatever it is, I
am all ears. You can email me over at Hello
at Hurdle dot us. For anyone else that's running at
Chicago this weekend, I will be out there. I'm not
hosting anything on the ground, but I will be bopping around.
(04:14):
So please say hello, come, say what's up. I'd love
to meet you. And with that, let's get to it.
Let's get to the anti perfectionism playbook. I have let
perfectionism win so many times. And when I say that
(04:37):
I've let perfectionism win, what happens is that I stop
forward progress because something's not looking as I envisioned. I'll
give you an example of how I have evolved with
my relationship with perfectionism. I am running my sixteenth marathon
this weekend. And years ago, if I had to miss
(05:00):
a workout, or a workout didn't go as I had
hoped it would go, or I had to adjust my
amount of my edge, I would worry that that one
modification or those few modifications would have dramatic ramifications for
my ultimate goal. And what I've come to learn over
(05:21):
time is that that isn't how it works. Case in point,
when you are training for a marathon. Every weekend, on Saturday,
you have a long run. I choose to do mine
on Saturdays, and life happens, and there are going to
be some days where maybe you need to modify the distance.
(05:42):
You have to adapt in case it's super warm outside,
maybe you have a life event, and so you have
to change the schedule around. I this year went to
Japan for two weeks and was still able to get
in my long runs, but I modified them. It was
ninety five to ninety five percent humidity in bright, brilliant sunshine.
(06:05):
Was there a difference between me running the RX of
twenty two miles versus what felt a little bit safer
when I was out there doing the thing akaa twenty miles. No,
there really was no negative thing that was going to
happen by me cutting two miles.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Off of one run.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
But the Emily of Gosh ten years ago would have
had so much anxiety about that for so long. There
is a big distinction between healthy striving, so like I
want to accomplish X, and perfectionism, which is I must
(06:46):
achieve X or people will think why perfectionism is about
often external validation and a fear of criticism, and that
just isn't a solid foundation for going after the things
that ex So in order to do some work on this,
we've got to unmask the perfectionism trap as a whole.
(07:07):
The first thing let's discuss is how we often tie
our self worth to our performance. So you identify a
certain way. I just said, I'm running my sixteenth marathon
this weekend. I identify as a marathoner. I am a
marathonor or let's drive it to I am a healthy eater.
I am someone that eats well. Now, that is how
I identify. And then when I fail, and I'll put
(07:31):
quotes around that, at that action, it feels as though
I am failing as a person I identify in this way.
So when I'm injured, for instance, and I can't run
by the identify as a runner, I feel conflicted. When
I am someone that eats a certain way and I
am constantly going against that, that might not feel so
(07:55):
well ultimately, and I could feel again like I am failing.
Now the reframe here is really reinforcing our core message,
which is your worth is inherent. It is not conditional
on your performance. I'll say that Again, your worth is inherent.
It is not conditional on your performance or how you
(08:18):
act or what you choose to do in the example
of a healthy eater. So the goal here is to
separate your identity from activity. You are bigger than whatever
label it is that you put on yourself, and I
think it's really important here to highlight what can often
be this comparison.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Culture catalyst of social media.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Now social media in the highlight reel of perfect meals
and flawless workouts like we are inundated with it, and
it also creates an impossible fake standard. So I want
to introduce to you a tool that I use very often,
which I call scrolling quit. It's my scroll and quit technique.
(09:02):
And so, if you are on the socials, whether it's Instagram, TikTok,
if you still use Facebook, wherever you might be, and
you realize that you're comparing yourself to someone you see
in a workout outfit, or you're thinking about the foods
that you ve eate in on how they don't look
as beautiful as this perfectly crafted asa ebowl or protein
bagel or avocado toast and whatever, close the app immediately
(09:26):
and start something else, like start some other activities. Scroll
and quit, right, That's what I'm calling it. So don't
let whatever it is that you're comparing yourself to derail
what is reality. So many people, myself included, that we
are leaning into social media as an escape from the
(09:46):
things that we quote unquote should be doing or maybe
things that could be better serving us. So when you
go on there and you see something that makes you
feel less valuable.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That ain't it? It ain't it? Soh you scroll and
you quit.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Now, I've got three rules that I lean into when
I think about my playbook for counteracting perfectionism. And my
first rule is that you've got to implement the minimal
viable effort. So let's call that M THEE. The concept
here is that you want to lower the bar so
that you cannot fail, which I know you you're feeling
(10:25):
it in your heart of hearts as someone who identifies
as a perfectionist. At times, you don't want.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
To lower the bar. I get it.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
But the fact is that consistent effort is better than
sporadic perfection. I'll say that one more time. Consistent effort
is better than sporadic perfection.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
So what do I mean by that?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I mean that if you can consistently let's say you
want to move more, If you can consistently walk for
twenty minutes three days a week, that is so much
better than it's going on a ten mile walk once
every three weeks. Right, you want to develop habits and
(11:08):
strive for goals that ultimately help you level up again.
I talk about it in the intro every week. My
goal is to help you live healthier, happier, more motivated lives.
And you will be shocked at what comes when you
allow yourself to lean into these consistent, albeit imperfect actions,
(11:30):
and oftentimes that consistent, imperfect action will help you level
up in the long run. So when I started running,
this was in two thousand and eight, almost twenty years ago,
which is absolutely wild. When I started running, I didn't
allow what I had exposure to, of what I thought
(11:53):
success could look like, deter me from doing what felt
attainable for me in my body as I was. And
so every day I set out to go run what
I thought was a mile, and it ended up being
half mile.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
But that is neither here nor there.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
I would get myself together after lunch every day and
lace up my sneakers and put on my black Target
leggings and a white Hanes V neck and I would
go out and I would run my distance and I
would come back and I would feel so accomplished.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
And that's because I was.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Defining what quote unquote success looked like for myself in
a way that was attainable. So for me, my minimum
viable effort was I'm going to get out there and
move my body for this amount of distance and that's it.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
That's that's it.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And some days it might be a walk run, and
other days it might be just a walk. But whatever
it was, I allowed that to be enough. The real
victory wasn't in you know, the exact output, but rather
it was in keeping that habit alive and telling myself
(13:08):
you are capable of showing up regularly. Again, consistency is
better than perfection. So consistent imperfect effort is better than
sporadic perfection.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
There I said it.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
My second rule when we talk about this anti perfectionism
playbook is activate the fifteen minute re entry window. The
fifteen minute re entry window. This concept might blow your mind.
You Basically you want to stop the perfectionism spiral and
recognize that one mistake or one thing not going as
(13:46):
you hope does not need to wreck the remainder of
your day, or your week or what have you.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
So let's give an example. I have worked a lot.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
On redeveloping my relationship with food over the last year
and have really put an emphasis on eating a lot
of protein. Right, that doesn't mean on a day where
I realize it's five PM and I've consumed a total
of eight grams of protein that the day in itself
is a wash. Rather, if I realize this, my question
(14:23):
will be what is the next thing that I can
choose to do within the next fifteen minutes to correct.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Or make the situation better.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
So in this example, all right, shoot, it's five pm,
I haven't consumed any protein whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Rather than throwing up my hands and going to eat.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
A pizza, which like sounds delicious, not gonna lie in
some days, maybe that's maybe that's what you need to do.
But I can look in my fridge and say, Okay,
what can I do to make this situation better with
what I have? Again, your mistake or your slip up
does not need to define the day, the hour, whatever,
(15:06):
but your next fifteen minutes can. So another example, maybe
you had quite the night on Tuesday, you had a
work event, there were drinks, you were having one too
many sippies, and so on Wednesday morning when you wake
up you're not feeling your best. We've all been there, right, Okay.
(15:28):
Just because maybe you're not in the place to do
the workout that you wanted to do on Wednesday when
you wake up doesn't mean that all of Wednesday needs
to be a wash. It's what happens in the fifteen
minutes after you make this decision that things aren't going
to go as you had hoped. That really sets the
tone for where you go from there. The fifteen minute
(15:51):
re entry window. So in this example, Okay, maybe not
the best idea for me to go lift heavy things
at the jay, But what if I get outside and
take a nice long walk to start my day, or
what if I'm not in the mental space to do
that in the morning.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Totally understandable.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay, Can I market on my calendar to get outside
and do that walk later or maybe by the evening
I'll feel like I am in the place to lift
some weights. How can I modify? What can I do
in the next fifteen minutes? What is within my power
to move forward again. This process the fifteen minute reandrew window.
(16:34):
It's going to halt that spiral of guilt. Listen, one
small slip up does not have to become the self
fulfilling prophecy of failure.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
It doesn't need to happen that way.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What can happen next is completely within your control. Taking
a break to talk to you about my lung term
partner at AG One, I've.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Talked about this Recently.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Ag One released their next generation, the same single scoop
once a day, but now with more vitamins, minerals, and
upgraded pro biotics. Plus it's clinically backed by four human
clinical trials. They have seriously gone the distance to raise
the standard in supplement testing. But it gets even better
(17:25):
because there are also three new flavors We've got. Tropical
it tastes sweet, vibrant, and bright like the paya and
passion fruit for people who like a louder flavor, Citrus,
which is sweet and tangy and taste like orange and lemon.
And berry that's subtly sweet and taste like strawberries and
blueberries and raspberries. From what I've heard, the berry is
(17:48):
the fan favorite. I myself am Team Citrus. Anyway, I
am always drinking my AG one first thing in the morning,
but when I tell you, I am zeroed in, dialed
in on my supplement game right now. I just got
back from Tokyo for the World Athletics Championships, and I
am focused on not making my sleep schedule under control,
(18:12):
but really just doing everything I can to take care
of my body right now, and AG one is a
huge part of that. The upgraded AG one next Jen
also has B complex, vitamin E, magnesium, and selenium, so
much goodness to help me feel the best in my
(18:32):
body now.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Of course, I've got a deal for you.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
If you head on over to drinkag one dot com
slash hurdle, you can get five free at travel packs
plus a year's supply of Vitamin D three K two
for free with your purchase. Again, head on over to
Drink ag one Drink ag number one dot com slash
hurdle to get your free travel packs, Vitamin D three
(18:57):
K two and welcome kit with your perch.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
The third rule.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
That I'm going to offer you as part of my
anti perfectionism playbook is going to be challenging, and that
is practice deliberate imperfection. So what I mean by this
is you want to intentionally do something slightly air quotes
messy to expose your need for control and prove that
(19:30):
your world won't end a few different examples of what
this could look like in practice. You are someone who
likes to work out for very deliberate amounts of time,
Like you like to walk on an incline for thirty minutes,
or be on an elliptical for twenty minutes, or ride
a stationary bike or you get what I'm saying here
(19:52):
for X amount of minutes. What happens if you do
it for twenty nine minutes and thirty two seconds or
twelve minutes and fifty seconds instead of fifteen minutes. You'll
realize in the moment, as your anxiety may or may
not kick in, that life goes on when you stop
a little bit early, and that it is okay to
(20:16):
release the need for perfectionism. It's like exposure therapy for
your high standards, if you will right exposure therapy for
your high standards. I've heard so many times that if
you have a fear of flying, one of the best
things that you can do is still like take yourself
to the airport. I know that can be extremely inconvenient
for a lot of people, but basically the goal there
(20:37):
is to go through the act of what it could
feel like if you are going to get on a plane,
so that you could slowly feel better about the entirety
of the experience. This is the same thing we need
to chip away at the need for one hundred percent
control and understand that the best thing you can do
(20:58):
for yourself is learning to be okay with good enough.
Not every day is going to be perfect, and that
is not the goal. The goal is not to achieve
perfection every day, but consistently show up and do the
best you can with what you have.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
All Right, so I've given you my three rules.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
My anti perfection is on playbook We've got implementing the
minimum viable effort. So what does that look like. That
looks like lowering the bar so you cannot fail. Consistent
action is better than sporadic perfection. Consistent action better than
sporadic perfection. Rule number two, activate that fifteen minute re
(21:42):
entry window, recognizing that when something goes array, maybe it's
not going as you had hoped, or perhaps you are
dealing with the byproducts of earlier decisions, whatever that might be.
Understand that at any time you have the choice to say, okay,
what happens in the next fifteen minutes, This is my
opportunity to decide what happens next. And then Rule number
(22:04):
three is practice deliberate imperfection, getting to a place where
you are okay with good enough, recognizing that if something
isn't as you intended, that doesn't mean that it cannot
be good.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
It can be great, I promise.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I want to encourage you to look inward right now,
because I do believe that we can have every tool
in the toolbox, but how you feel about yourself when
you are by yourself is the most important thing. A
huge tool that I use when I'm faced with these
all or nothing situations, when I'm dealing with my perfectionist kremlin.
(22:44):
Is I sit down and I ask myself, six months
from now, will this decision be one that my future
self would thank me for? So in that example of
I like to do things for a specific amount of time,
whether that be hike on the treadmill, going on an elliptical,
(23:05):
go on a bike, my future self would be proud
of my past self for putting in the effort at all,
rather than being like, well, if I don't have thirty minutes,
then it's not worth it, because we know that's not true.
So your future self, I can promise you will always
thank you for a small, more consistent action, not the
(23:26):
perfect one that you never started a massively huge piece
to the puzzle. When I think about beating my perfectionist
tendencies in mindset is understanding that most of the time
it's just.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Not gonna be perfect and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Many times, I and I'm sure many other people that
you follow, have referenced this rule of third s. Alexipapas
made it pretty famous well known a few years ago
on The Ritual podcast, where she talked about a third
of her workouts being absolute junk, a third of her
workouts feeling okay, and a third of them going really well,
(24:03):
and she recognizes that that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
So on the days when you have one of those
workouts that doesn't go really well, you understand that that's okay,
because a third of your workouts are going to feel
that way.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Period.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
For me, I've done the best that I can to
understand that a third of the time I have this
opportunity to really feel stellar in whatever it is that
I am attacking. And yes, I strive for more than that,
but I'm not hard on myself when things feel just
okay or maybe less than stellar. I approach those situations
(24:40):
with a certain level of compassion and grace, understanding that
this is just how it is now, and embracing the
tools that I explain to you, especially that fifteen minute
rule to ask myself, Okay, what happens next? Whenever something
goes poorly And if I happen to get on the
phone with my father shortly after, he always asks me
(25:02):
that question, what's next. I have been, and I know
it's not coming from a place of like not wanting
to have compassion, but I have been like in tears
talking to him and he will say to me, like,
I see you, this is such a valid reaction and
what's next?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
And that little bit of.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Tough love has really instilled in me that what's next
is again my opportunity, and it's your opportunity to yes,
feel your feelings and then graduate to what's next.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So here I am I'm challenging you.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I want you to identify one area this week where
you can aim for a B minus effort. I feel
like this is very i don't know, different than maybe
some of the other people that you follow that are
like you deserve the best hard work is within you.
It is, but like you've got your stick it out
(26:00):
and grind like, yeah, there are moments to like stick
it out and grind forward.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I hear that.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
But let's talk about what is manageable? Where is the compassion?
How can you show up regularly as your best self?
And that for me is us beating this perfectionate mindset
ninety nine point nine percent of the time.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's not that serious. Okay.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You deserve to have big goals. You deserve to, you know,
go after all the things that excite you, and in
doing that, you have to have compassion for yourself. So
again my question for you this week is what is
an area that you're gonna aim for a B minus effort?
For me this week, my B minus effort is probably
(26:47):
showing up for other people.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I still, you know, want to be a good friend.
I want to show up for the people that I
care about.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
And I recognize that I have a big week on deck,
and what's best for Emily might not be necessarily putting
other people first in the way that I typically am
capable of. I literally two hours ago cancel a dinner
plan with a friend because it just it didn't feel
like what was best for Emily. But I will highlight
(27:13):
in the cancelation of that dinner plan, I did propose
another time at a point this month where I know
I will have more bandwidth.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I digress.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I'm going to hold your hand when I say this,
perfection is the enemy of progress. The goal is to
be a perfect human. It's to be a human who
keeps going. And that, my friends, that's the ultimate hurdle
conquered perfectionism. We're working on it.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
This week.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I want to hear your takeaways. I want to know
what you're doing when we talk about an area where
you're aiming for a.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
B minus effort.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Tag me the show over at Hurdle podcasts at Emily
A Body, And again, like I said at the top
of this episode, I want to hear your feedback on
the Tuesday mornings.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Do we like them, how do we feel? What's going
on in your life? Let's catch up? Give me all
the goods. I want to know.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I'm over at Emily A Body, an at Hurdle Podcast,
Another hurdle conquered.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Catch you guys next time.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
The Brothers Ortiz
The Brothers Ortiz is the story of two brothers–both successful, but in very different ways. Gabe Ortiz becomes a third-highest ranking officer in all of Texas while his younger brother Larry climbs the ranks in Puro Tango Blast, a notorious Texas Prison gang. Gabe doesn’t know all the details of his brother’s nefarious dealings, and he’s made a point not to ask, to protect their relationship. But when Larry is murdered during a home invasion in a rented beach house, Gabe has no choice but to look into what happened that night. To solve Larry’s murder, Gabe, and the whole Ortiz family, must ask each other tough questions.