June 16, 2025 • 40 mins
It’s the first big fight between Lorelai and Sookie so we had to bring in author and therapist Jennifer Banks to dissect it all.
Jennifer analyzes the emotions creating all the conflict in this episode — why all this fear and insecurity inside the Gilmore Girls home!
And, we meet Mia! Scott makes a big proclamation about Elizabeth Franz guest starring in this role.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I am all in again.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Let's just you, h I am all in again with
Scott Patterson and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey everybody, Scott Patterson, I Am all in Podcast one
A Love Productions, iHeartRadio Media, iHeart Podcast Seasons two, Episode eight,
The Ins and Outs of Inns Air date November twenty,
two thousand and one eons ago, with my very very
special guest, the renowned therapist Jennifer Banks. Recently just finished
(00:46):
all seven seasons of the show. Jennifer did and to
help us recap season two, episode eight. Jennifer, welcome to
the show.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Thank you for having me synopsis.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We're gonna synopsize here, Jennifer sounds good. A lion Suki
planned to open their own end, but their dream property
may be unavailable. Meanwhile, the independentent owner Mea visits Stars
Hollow and Emily asked Rory to pose for an oil
painting for Richard's study from when he gets back from
his trip to Akron, Ohio. This is directed by the
(01:18):
great Michael Cattleman, written by Daniel Palladino, Also great, Jennifer.
What are your initial thoughts on this episode?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I loved this episode. There are so many amazing themes.
I see so many dynamics happening in their relationships and
oh so many great parts, funny parts like even just
that pose watching Rory with her hand up like a ballerina,
and you know, Lauraized teenage attitude coming out when when
(01:53):
she hears about it at the table. I just love that.
There's so much that we can dig into there.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What storyline and impacted you the most emotionally and why I.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Have to say, actually, like the paradox of seeing Emily
coming in, Mia coming in and here are two privileged
women with the same opportunity, completely different conclusion. So the
(02:24):
way that Mia says, you know, oh, I'll never forget
seeing her with her baby at the door, and she
comes in and she welcomes her, gives her a home,
gives her all the wonderful things that you know, basically
a child needs. Because Loria was still a child and
Emily couldn't offer that, right.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
It's heartbreaking. That was heartbreaking, it really was.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
And watching Emily not not be able, she could not
be vulnerable until she kind of comes back and says,
do you have any picture from that time? Yeah, I'll
send you a box. You know, she really knows she
missed out.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, I will say this about Elizabeth Frands, that's probably
the best guest star turn I've seen on that show.
She is so likable, she's such a great actress, and
what a beautifully written role for her. And yeah, the
emotional impact of her coming of of of the fans
(03:27):
getting to meet her and hearing this backstory. And we
did get some backstory on Look. This is where we
find out he's a treky. This is where we find
out so many things details about right when when Lorala
I showed up as a sixteen year old with a
with a with a newborn, to the to the the
(03:49):
independence in so it was quite moving and quite entertaining. Okay,
so you're talking about themes. What themes emerged this episode?
I mean, for me, it was all about conflict between
friends and conflict with your own dreams and how that
puts you in opposition to maybe your best friend and
your business partner, and how it all comes around. So
(04:10):
everybody seemed to be in conflict, but it was all
resolved in a really nice way.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
It was. But you know what often drives conflicts fear,
Like that's that's really a primary emotion that we all
feel and the fear in Loralai when she finds out
the independence In is going to be sold possibly. I
mean that really is what drove that whole conflict her
(04:36):
hearing that, you know that in was so much more
than just an end to her, even the name independence In.
I mean, it's all about her independence from the home,
not even home house that she grew up in and
then this is her home with air quotes of her
almost like an adoptive mother who was attuned and present
(04:58):
with her, and the fear that she felt if that
was going to be sold, what that meant for her.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
As I said, Elizabeth Franz played beautifully that role. We
can tell Mia has a long history here, as she
tells Michelle his English enunciation should be better by now,
and she knew lucas a young boy. She calls him lucas.
Mia tells Laura she wants to sell the In, which
really upsets Laura. I mean, the you know, the really
(05:28):
came around. That was unexpected for me and a wonderful
dramatic device, you know, not knowing how much Mia wanted
to and not even knowing, you know, Laura, I not
even realizing, Oh I forgot how this is going to
affect Mia.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And then you know Mia being so classy about it
and saying, I've you know, I've had many opportunities and
many offers to sell the in and this would be
the perfect time. And she was actually celebrating and supportive
and what a great friend and great mother figure for
laurla I. And now we see, now we see in
this extraordinary woman Mia. Why perhaps why Laurela I and
(06:14):
Roy ar thriving because they got that support that they
weren't getting in her real Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, but even that, I bet you so many listeners
can see themselves in these characters. You know, whether they
received this growing up or they didn't. How important it
is to be able to thrive, to have that mother
maternal figure really attuned and present and caring and genuine
(06:45):
like you can just hear it in her voice. I
mean you know her delivery like yes, as an actress, amazing,
she just she delivers that attunement and caring essence in
her performances, whereas Emily is very cold, right, and I
think Emily has such a heart that is so hidden.
(07:08):
It's like she has her dukes up all the time
and she just couldn't be that person for Lorelai.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
And she knew it. And that was the I mean,
talk about a dramatic moment for for Emily as she
just you see her as you know, as strong opposing
in this sort of false strength and this facade of
strength and tradition and pride and just a class You're right,
(07:39):
It just all crumbles, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It does?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah, And she just played it so beautifully.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
She really did. I was shocked. That was the first
time she met Mia, like it took that long. Yeah, power,
That says a lot about her right and her fears.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Right and the cur bridge for her to come to
drive that distance thinking about it and not confronting her,
but meeting her. I guess it was a little bit
of a confrontation. Yes, instantly refused her lunch inventation. No, yes,
I don't think so, you know, this kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
It was a classy conflict. So fear is another theme
I really saw, right, like the why did Emily not
go years before? I'm sure it crossed her mind, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, But now here she is, right now,
she here she is, So there's the opportunity. All right,
let's switch to the Dragonfly and Suki and Laura I
discover Friend is the owner of the Rachel property quote unquote,
which is actually called the Dragonfly, and and they asked
her to buy it. However, Friend isn't selling. It's the
(08:54):
only thing she has in her family. She has no siblings,
she has no family, and that's it. That's her family
that run down, dilapidated in and she wants it forever
and ever. And what a what an hysterical scene that was.
I loved it. They couldn't say the word, they just
had to allude to it. You know, the forever vacation
(09:17):
where we're all going on that vacation.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
What do you mean longer than Europe? Europe?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
No, never, you know, the drama, the dramatic moment. What
I think this show does so well, and what Dan
Palladino did so well in this episode is really make
us laugh and feel for these people and root for
people to stay together when they were in such conflict.
I mean, Luke was the town and you know and
(09:48):
everybody else. And then he trains us, you know, this
show trains us to expect the laugh and crave and
for the laugh because we know it's coming because it's
all so darn funny, and when they hit us with
these dramatic moments, they are just so powerful. They are
they are so impactful.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, and then she says, how about a cupcake?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Oh, yeah, that solves everything. Let's just have a cupcake.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I mean, have you ever seen people so nice to
one another in such a great place to live? I mean,
just wow?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Well, Suki and Laura I get into a tiff, right,
They have a very emotional conversation regarding the next steps
they to do with the end, and where Lurlai flies
just sort of flat out tell Suki she can't be
her sporadic self when it comes to business anymore, which
which ultimately hurts Suki's feelings and it would. And then
(10:45):
you have a heartfelt conversation with Luke and laurealizing lurla
I apologizing to Suki for her behavior. All right, all right,
working with family and friends is difficult, right? Was Lauraa
too harsh with Suki?
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I actually think loura I was just kind of lashing out,
and Suki almost like turned into this childlike being, you know,
and she becomes so sarcastic, and Lurlai is just I
mean like she's shooting blanks here, like what's going on?
(11:21):
At first, I was like, what the heck is this
fight about? Right, But it's really about her emotions that
were happening under the surface, right.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, And we saw that. We saw that with the
painting too, the Rory painting too in the study where
she kind of popped at Emily. Yeah. Yeah, she's on
edge for sure.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Yes. One thing is how she transforms into this incredible
leader at the Independence Inn, and then when she's not there,
she's just chaos, right, And that and that role of
her with Suki, and that that conflict Suki was kind
(12:02):
of the chaos in that moment. You know, she was
really focused on the little things like the topping of
the dessert and you know which if you focus too much,
I like to say, if you focus on the pennies,
you're going to miss the dollar. Well we don't have
pennies where I'm from.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So but anyway, Yeah, yeah, she's a great boss, Laurla,
And she she's a great boss. She's in her element
and there are aspects of Emily that rubbed off on
her right that make her a great boss and a
great leader. But there is that heart and soul. There
she became the mother that she never had, absolutely, which
(12:43):
is a pattern that a lot of people are familiar with.
So Suki and Laura, what does the conflict reveal about
the challenges of of turning a friendship into a business partnership.
I mean, it's very risky, isn't it It is.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I personally would never do it. I've seen it, you know,
totally fall apart. I would rather find someone to do
have a business with if I couldn't do it by myself,
then become friendly, because I mean, the dynamic changes, right
being friends and you know, our differences and our strengths
(13:28):
and challenges. They don't just go away when you go
into business. They're really highlighted. And that's I think what
was happening in this scene, the beauty of Suki and
her ability to you know, pay so much attention to
detail all of a sudden, a bit of a curse
with business, And I think that's the scary part. If
(13:51):
they're already arguing and they haven't even started, yikes.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, you got to get those first couple of good
fights out of the way, and then you're then can
last if you survive those because a lot of people
don't get past the first one. No, it depends on
how brutal is. But anyway, so you think she was
right to confront Suki in the way that she did.
Could she have handled it differently? Probably?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Obviously, I think she could have handled it a little different.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, because she kind of she ostracized her in public.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
She sure did.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
She didn't do it privately and gently. She just sort
of like let her have it, you know.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
She did, and Suki was pretty delicate, Yeah in that
in that moment, right.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, all right, well, you know, such as life. Anyway,
let's talk about the phony murder. Taylor is not pleased
to find a chalk outline in front of the store, claiming, uh,
it's clues to a dead body. After three people reported
seeing Jess the night of the phony murder, Taylor hosts
(14:53):
a town meaning but started the meeting early as there
was a special issue with the business community needed to
just us without Luke's present, So not fair, not fair.
The people stars hollow upset with both Jess and Luke,
prompting Rory to confront Jess and defend Luke as the
entire town seems to be blaming Luke. For Jess's behavior.
(15:16):
I don't even need to ask this question. You know,
of course he's going to be bothered Luke. This is
this is a classic I think this is you know,
there's a lot of Luke in this episode and a
lot of rants, but there's also a lot of good Uh.
You know, he's such a good friend to Laurel I
when he's reconnecting the goat's head from the hoopah and uh,
(15:40):
you know, imparting his wisdom from his first year starting
his his diner business. And so yeah, I mean we
see that side of Luke that just gets into a rant.
He's cornered, he feels trapped, and he lashes out. But
wonderful how Laurel I comes to his defense, and then
of course Rory later confronting.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Jess, also comes to his defense.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah. Really nice to see.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
But he's such a good man.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Did you think it was fair for the town to
blame Luke? No, No, that's Taylor's influence. That's Taylor's nefarious
influence over the town.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
It's such a snob in this episode, like here, you know, here,
here's this kid that wouldn't have had a home, and
he's got everything against him, right, except his beloved uncle
who is I mean, you know, even Jess is against Luke,
(16:44):
and yet he still perseveres and is trying to do
good for this this kid who keeps messing up in
the town.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Right, Yeah, you think Luke at this point feels like
he's failing both the town and just because it seems
like everybody's so upset with him.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I think he's frustrated. Yes, maybe not failing, but he
definitely is wavering on that line, not sure what's going
to happen.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Right, Yeah, all right, let's get to the oil painting.
This was very funny. During a Friday night dinner, Emily
reveals she wants an oil painting of Rory. She even
arranges for Rory to pose in a chair in an
awkward position with her arm draped over her head and
a swan as a prop. Lorelei calls reacts with her
(17:38):
trademark sarcasm when she sees the prompting Emily to remark
that she can be so harsh sometimes. She really did
come down on Emily was trying to do a nice thing.
She's just so out of touch with these two, you know,
I mean, it's just but it's like this old school tradition,
(17:58):
we let's have a painting for Richard. And she was
she was just trying to do something nice for her husband,
who she really sympathized with being on the road and
missing him.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
That's all she's got, her class, that's it, that's it.
That's all she knows. So she's gonna stay safe, right yeah, yeah,
But did you see how Laura I really want still
wants her mom's approval. Like when even at the dinner
table before that, you know, Emily says, do you want
to mirror in front of your face? You can finish
(18:30):
your conversation. She goes, sorry, mom, Right, you can see
she could have come back, but she really does want
her mom's approval. It's like that again, that paradox of
conflict and connection throughout the whole episode.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It's just, you know, these verbal beatdowns from Emily. But
I mean, the behavior is very provocative coming out of Laura,
isn't it?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Is I mean, with cutting Emily out of the conversation
and just quipping her daughter to reject reject, Oh here
we go, careful, don't commit to it. I mean it's
I mean, in real life and real time that is
annoying to Emily, she's annoyed by.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
This, But why do you think she's doing that?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Well, I think because she is. I think both women
are deeply hurt. I think that all that's coming from
lorealized pain and not being able to connect with her
own mother consistently. And you know that's sarcasm, and that
that humor comes out as a as a defense mechanism, right,
(19:34):
I mean, it's just how to keep the distance and
how to keep it safe. And this is how I
feel safe, and you know I can't be vulnerable or
intimate with my own mother, I mean, and that's where
all this humor comes from. And it's it's glorious to watch,
but it's really I mean, it's very sad, you know,
(19:56):
very very sad.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Yeah, but I agree with that. Right Often, people, especially kids,
they act out in the worst ways to have some connection, right, right,
So that lashing out is is a connection. Gossiping, it's connecting,
you know, and any of those those ways, it's still connecting,
(20:20):
even if it's hurtful.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
And I think after Laura, I apologize for the painting,
uh drubbing. Uh. You know, Emily showed some real grace
in accepting her apology.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yes she did, and I'm glad.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I'm glad that Laura I apologized. I really am.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I wish there was a hug. I was hoping they
were going to have embrace. But that's just not them.
I don't know. I'm a hugger, you know. I have
so many clients that say, my parents never hugged me, right,
(21:01):
and that wild And I recently had somebody that said,
I can't say I love you. Anybody said, can you
say I love you to your child? Nope, can't do it.
What about your dog? Oh yeah, I can do that
because my dog loves me back wild Eh. What a
(21:24):
different world we would live in if everybody was vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Well, they say, a twenty second hug, you know, creates
all of these wonderful chemical reactions inside of a child
and with the parent as well. There's a there's a
bonding that happens.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Hugs are important, they sure are, but not to Emily Gilmore.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, that's just a generation. That's that generation that they
were tough man. They really withheld, withheld, withheld, and that
was their control and their power over and you know
all that bs right, that is too bad? All right now,
(22:09):
we get to the closing scene, Emily shows up at
the end this big scene to meet the woman who
raised her daughter, and Mia tells Emily, upon seeing young
Laura l I with a baby in her arms, that
if that were her daughter, she would have wanted someone
to take her in. Wow. Devastating, Emily says, she would
(22:34):
have wanted her to send her home. And that's where
we see Emily is just completely disconnected from anybody else's
emotional life. This is a truly self centered, egotistical, stubborn
(22:56):
woman who cannot see beyond her own.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Knows and uh wow, not even a thank you, nothing,
just ice, just entitled.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
And that no wonder Loralai left.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Right mm hmm oh yeah, I mean she.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Was just suffocating in there, right yeah. And that I
think is the life for a lot of people, not
really a home the way that independence in was for Loorlai.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
How many young kids in this country over the decades
have been searched of left home and they're searching for
their meya.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
So many, so so.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Many, and they a lot don't find their medya.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
The massive problem, you know, that's parents, take heed, hug
your kids, tell them you love it.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I mean if you were to give one piece of advice,
you know, before the end, before you went on that
long vacation my end, well whoever, I mean that that
would be my advice. How of your kids tell them
you love them like every day multiple times?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
And yes, take I don't think I can say this
word on the air, but take the bee out of
the obituary that is in my book, because in other words,
you need to be vulnerable, right right? What kind of
legacy do you want to leave?
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Right?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Do you want? Is it going to say, well, worked
fifty hours on your epitaph or made a beautiful painting
with ours up actually happened to be the book? So
what kind of legacy are you going to leave? Because remember,
people don't remember what you teach them. They remember how you,
how they felt around you, right right, So this whole episode,
(25:00):
and if you take that perspective of how Loralai felt
around Mia compared to her mom, and the difference in
her mannerism so different. So great.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Summer is this season of love Summer Loven, here we come.
If you're old enough to remember Summer Loven, you're old
enough to find and I Do Part Two. Listen each
week as our hosts make it their goal to find
you the next true love of your life. Jenny Garth,
Jana Kramer, Alexia Napola, Cheryl Burke, Jen Fessler, Kelly ben Simone,
(25:41):
Amy Roebock, and TJ. Holmes are dedicated to helping you
fall in love again. It's time to make it hot,
hot hot this summer.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Listen to I Do Part Two on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You know,
it's really interesting to start a series this way with
such a unexpectedly powerful move by a sixteen year old
(26:13):
Laurel I with a baby. That is a power move. Yeah,
she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know
how empowering it would be. She just knew she had
to get away and the only way her gut was
telling her get away from this. This is too toxic
to even deal with. I do not want my baby
(26:35):
anywhere near this right right. What a brave thing to
do for a sixteen year old. And that's where this
series begins, with this power move, this conscious or no
right power move from this Laureli Gilmore with a baby Rory, right.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah, as if she didn't have a choice, she had
to do it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Then we meet her sixteen years later when her daughter's
sixteen years old. What a hook, What a powerful hook,
and all of this unfolding before us. This is, you
know what, tyrants and bullies and and I've had a
great deal of experience with this. Never expect. The one
(27:23):
thing they don't expect when they with her friends or
business colleagues or family members. What they never expect is
that you can just leave. You can just cut them off.
And it's an amazingly empowering thing.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
You know what, Scott, There's three things that often keep
us stack in, you know, any adverse childhood experiences, traumatic events,
awful things, lack of choice, lack of safety or responsibility.
You can cover those three things. We really can be
(28:05):
free of a lot of those awful feelings of shame
and guilt. And so many people feel stuck. Right but Laurela,
I didn't she did it.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
I think of all the characters in this show, people
ask me all the time, you know, how are you
similar to Luke? And you know who I'm similar to
is Larelai?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Oh yeah, I identify with that very very strongly, that
will to power, that will to cut off, that will
to to reinvent, that will to heal the wounds, and
knowing and staying positive and knowing that there's a better situation,
(28:47):
there's a better future. What a great role model, What
a great thing. This is the power of this show.
It's it's it's that, you know, it's that that courageous
Laureli Gilmour.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
What were your dreams?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
My dream we're going to do a little therapy, Okay, well.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
But Lareli's dream of having her own in right, and
her dream of leaving home and you know, the home
of the independence in and what was your dream?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Well, when I was a kid growing up, my dream
was to be a ski racer, believe or not in
New Jersey where that just wasn't gonna happen. No, it's flat,
there aren't really any mountains, and yet here I was wanting,
wanting to be a ski racer. I don't know, And
we didn't have money, you know, we didn't have enough
(29:43):
money for that. I mean, that's an expensive sport. I
could only afford to go skiing once I, you know,
got Gilmore girls right then, little little then I had
enough to go take a ski trip here and there.
But uh yeah, and then after that, then then after that,
it was just the dream was to go to college
(30:08):
and and to figure it out. It wasn't baseball. I
didn't dream to be a baseball you know. It wasn't that.
I just kind of I didn't fall into it. It
was just sort of like, oh, well, you know, I'm
really good at this. I can I can earn a
living doing this. I don't know how good a living
I can earn, but I can be professional and we'll
see how it goes.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
You know, that kind of wow.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
But it was really, you know, there was there was
writing involved. You know. I wanted to be a writer
in my teens and I wrote a great deal and
I read a great deal of books. So I wanted
to go to college and study English literature and and
be a writer.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Have you wrote any books?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
No, No, I've written chapters, and I've written a lot
of short stories, and I've written screenplays and I've written, yes, teleplays,
not not very many teleplays, but screenplays. Yeah. I've started
a couple of novels and just got stuck. Yeah, you know,
you really have to confront your game and is doing
that in a room, right, It's it's terrifying. So yes,
(31:07):
it is, you know, the writing bug and the writing
gene is in my family. But nice you know, uh,
the dream shift opportunities present themselves. You know, it's like,
you know, God laughs at people that make these these
very detailed plans for their lives, right because they never
(31:28):
take into consideration the the chaotic nature of everyday life,
right and chance happenings.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
That's also why I don't think Suki and larealize business
dream is going to come to fruition like based on
this episode, because Suki is so her attention to detail
and then life comes in like there's just it just
doesn't work right. You can only plan so much, we
(31:58):
can't control, which is scary in itself.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Right, Right, I have to say this is I've had
a lot of not a lot, but I've had a
few favorite episodes. This one really hit me so far
at this point in the I am all in process.
This is my favorite episode.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, I think it's the best written, it's beautifully directed.
I think Michael Cattleman is just such a great director,
and we had great directors and he was an executive
producer for the first couple of years. So this, this show,
in this first couple of seasons, really has Michael Cattleman's
stamp on it. And you know, I just remember really
(32:48):
loving working with him and thinking that his episodes were
just really you know, just crackling good.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, as they say, there's so much in it.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
And you got a Palladino writing the script. You got
a Dan Palladino, you know, and it's just like the
talent here and again. And I'll say it to the
cows come home, because the cows, the cows come home,
and then they leave and then they come back. I
just marveled a not at what I was doing in
(33:19):
the show. I just marveled at the opportunity that I
got to be in that show, and I got to
be in these scenes. You know, you see this this
side of Luke that comes out when he hugs me, right,
this loving, welcoming guy, and then he switch his gears
(33:39):
and he's he's getting getting tense with Taylor at the counter,
and then he pops in the in the town hall
meeting and Ben he's a great friend, and in the
kitchen with Laurel I repairing the.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
Headless goat that he can go from zero to ten
like that, right, And.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Just so much fun to play it, and so lucky
to have been asked to do that. So just really
loving the show and so grateful, just so full of gratitude.
And I know people hear that and they roll their eyes,
but man, I mean, just the more time that goes by,
the more I appreciate this, you know. And you know,
(34:22):
I was in Idaho recently at a comic con and
I got to meet all the fans. You know, these fans,
they're newly minted fans, right. There's fans that have been
loyal since two thousand, twenty five years of loyalty. And
there's fans that just discovered the show a couple months
ago or a couple of years ago, and they were
(34:44):
aware of it, but they never watched it. And then
they watch it and here they are at comic con
and they're sharing this energy with me, and they're just
so excited to be there and talk about the show
and share their experiences watching the show with their mom
or their family, or their boyfriend or their husband, their
dog or their cat. Right, I mean, it's they go
to sleep with it, the husbands and the boyfriends come
(35:07):
up to me, and my wife couldn't make it. I
just want you to I wanted she wanted me to
get a picture in an autograph with you and all
this stuff. So you know, you've basically taken over my bedroom.
And my wife falls asleep to this show now.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
And my husband I caught him singing the song. He's
like a Harley Davidson.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I love these guys, man. I just give him a
hug and say, hang in there.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Man, I got nothing to my fourteen year old.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
He loves right everybody. It's everybody.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
We can watch it.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, it's amazing. It's just an amazing phenomenon. I was
also in Oklahoma City's same thanks, same reaction. People have
been with the show twenty five years and or people
just discovered it. They just wanted to come and say
hello and celebrate. And it's just such a great engage,
passionate fan base and there's so much fun. And I
love going to these cons. I love going to these kinds.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
This subculture totally.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Absolutely, and it's growing and growing and growing and growing. Anyway,
final thoughts, and give give me your take on the
entire seven seasons. Your your your your general take, on
the entire seven seasons, because I understand you just finished watching.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
One hundred and fifty eight episodes.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
No, really, one hundred and fifty seven, I think.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Oh was it seven? Okay?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Is there one hundred and fifty eighth of my God?
You're going to set that, oh story the Gilmour versus,
like where there's a missing episode? What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Maybe only availed in Canada?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Yeah, one fifty three, two thousand and two thousand and seven,
and then four Netflix, that's one fifty seven. Maybe it's one.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Sorry, maybe it one's fished, no worse, maybe I probably
dreamed one in my head. My final You know what,
here's a story of you know, real life, how real
these conflicts can show up in our real life and
how the fear and all these motions can just drive
(37:01):
what we do. But it's so important to dream, right
you know? That's that was really my takeaway, Like the
opportunities are there, we have choices, and some of the
dreams that Lora, Lei and Rory had and they get
to live it out, and the ones that didn't get
(37:23):
to do that, what was stopping them? You know? It
doesn't have to be this way, right right?
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:30):
So just because we are like this, we're scared, doesn't
mean we have to continue. Maybe it's not our fault,
but it's our responsibility to get over this fear and
live the dream we have.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, you must. It's a load you don't have to
carry anymore. That's right, you know, get rid of it.
And there's ways to do it. And Jennifer is one
of those people I am that is compassionate and caring
and trained by the way, yes, to help you shoulder
off that load, put it down, and learn how to
(38:08):
walk in strength going forward.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Yeah, my book's been helpful to lots of people I've heard.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Let's hold that book up again. Let's see that book.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
It's a picture of me. Huh. Everything I can't say
in a session, I say it into here. So there's
lots of humor and tidbits all about conflict.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
You can get that on Amazon.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Amazon, Yep, Jennifer Banks, Yes, follow me please. And there's
a lot of tips and tricks that I like to
share on TikTok and my socials. I just like helping people,
I really do. And it's a little bit about my story.
My husband, God love him, twenty years. This year wasn't
(38:54):
always easy. He broke his neck in two thousand and
three and that was the beginning of our story. Yeah,
so the burdens of what happens with chronic health issues, etc. Yeah,
but this was wonderful.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Jennifer Banks, thank you for coming on. One of the
world's protective angels. Right there. Ladies and gentlemen, get her
book and book an appointment if you need her, because
she's wonderful. I've seen her in action, folks, and she is.
She's one of the best. Jennifer Banks, thank you so
(39:33):
much for joining us. And that's going to wrap up
Season two, episode eight, the Ins and Outs of Inns.
Wonderful episode so far, my favorite, my new favorite anyway,
Jennifer Banks, thanks for joining us and that's good for us.
Our pleasure and come back any time, by the way,
I'd love to fascinating discussion. Fascinating discussion. Thanks Roy r.
(39:57):
Cards and letters and emails and thoughts. Keem com best
fans on the planet, bar none. Where you lead, we
will follow. Stay safe everyone, do hey everybody, and don't forget.
(40:37):
Follow us on Instagram at I Am all In podcast
and email us at Gilmore at iHeartRadio dot com.
I am all in again.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Let's just you, h I am all in again with
Scott Patterson and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey everybody, Scott Patterson, I Am all in Podcast one
A Love Productions, iHeartRadio Media, iHeart Podcast Seasons two, Episode eight,
The Ins and Outs of Inns Air date November twenty,
two thousand and one eons ago, with my very very
special guest, the renowned therapist Jennifer Banks. Recently just finished
(00:46):
all seven seasons of the show. Jennifer did and to
help us recap season two, episode eight. Jennifer, welcome to
the show.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Thank you for having me synopsis.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We're gonna synopsize here, Jennifer sounds good. A lion Suki
planned to open their own end, but their dream property
may be unavailable. Meanwhile, the independentent owner Mea visits Stars
Hollow and Emily asked Rory to pose for an oil
painting for Richard's study from when he gets back from
his trip to Akron, Ohio. This is directed by the
(01:18):
great Michael Cattleman, written by Daniel Palladino, Also great, Jennifer.
What are your initial thoughts on this episode?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I loved this episode. There are so many amazing themes.
I see so many dynamics happening in their relationships and
oh so many great parts, funny parts like even just
that pose watching Rory with her hand up like a ballerina,
and you know, Lauraized teenage attitude coming out when when
(01:53):
she hears about it at the table. I just love that.
There's so much that we can dig into there.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What storyline and impacted you the most emotionally and why I.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Have to say, actually, like the paradox of seeing Emily
coming in, Mia coming in and here are two privileged
women with the same opportunity, completely different conclusion. So the
(02:24):
way that Mia says, you know, oh, I'll never forget
seeing her with her baby at the door, and she
comes in and she welcomes her, gives her a home,
gives her all the wonderful things that you know, basically
a child needs. Because Loria was still a child and
Emily couldn't offer that, right.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
It's heartbreaking. That was heartbreaking, it really was.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
And watching Emily not not be able, she could not
be vulnerable until she kind of comes back and says,
do you have any picture from that time? Yeah, I'll
send you a box. You know, she really knows she
missed out.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, I will say this about Elizabeth Frands, that's probably
the best guest star turn I've seen on that show.
She is so likable, she's such a great actress, and
what a beautifully written role for her. And yeah, the
emotional impact of her coming of of of the fans
(03:27):
getting to meet her and hearing this backstory. And we
did get some backstory on Look. This is where we
find out he's a treky. This is where we find
out so many things details about right when when Lorala
I showed up as a sixteen year old with a
with a with a newborn, to the to the the
(03:49):
independence in so it was quite moving and quite entertaining. Okay,
so you're talking about themes. What themes emerged this episode?
I mean, for me, it was all about conflict between
friends and conflict with your own dreams and how that
puts you in opposition to maybe your best friend and
your business partner, and how it all comes around. So
(04:10):
everybody seemed to be in conflict, but it was all
resolved in a really nice way.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
It was. But you know what often drives conflicts fear,
Like that's that's really a primary emotion that we all
feel and the fear in Loralai when she finds out
the independence In is going to be sold possibly. I
mean that really is what drove that whole conflict her
(04:36):
hearing that, you know that in was so much more
than just an end to her, even the name independence In.
I mean, it's all about her independence from the home,
not even home house that she grew up in and
then this is her home with air quotes of her
almost like an adoptive mother who was attuned and present
(04:58):
with her, and the fear that she felt if that
was going to be sold, what that meant for her.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
As I said, Elizabeth Franz played beautifully that role. We
can tell Mia has a long history here, as she
tells Michelle his English enunciation should be better by now,
and she knew lucas a young boy. She calls him lucas.
Mia tells Laura she wants to sell the In, which
really upsets Laura. I mean, the you know, the really
(05:28):
came around. That was unexpected for me and a wonderful
dramatic device, you know, not knowing how much Mia wanted
to and not even knowing, you know, Laura, I not
even realizing, Oh I forgot how this is going to
affect Mia.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And then you know Mia being so classy about it
and saying, I've you know, I've had many opportunities and
many offers to sell the in and this would be
the perfect time. And she was actually celebrating and supportive
and what a great friend and great mother figure for
laurla I. And now we see, now we see in
this extraordinary woman Mia. Why perhaps why Laurela I and
(06:14):
Roy ar thriving because they got that support that they
weren't getting in her real Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, but even that, I bet you so many listeners
can see themselves in these characters. You know, whether they
received this growing up or they didn't. How important it
is to be able to thrive, to have that mother
maternal figure really attuned and present and caring and genuine
(06:45):
like you can just hear it in her voice. I
mean you know her delivery like yes, as an actress, amazing,
she just she delivers that attunement and caring essence in
her performances, whereas Emily is very cold, right, and I
think Emily has such a heart that is so hidden.
(07:08):
It's like she has her dukes up all the time
and she just couldn't be that person for Lorelai.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
And she knew it. And that was the I mean,
talk about a dramatic moment for for Emily as she
just you see her as you know, as strong opposing
in this sort of false strength and this facade of
strength and tradition and pride and just a class You're right,
(07:39):
It just all crumbles, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It does?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah, And she just played it so beautifully.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
She really did. I was shocked. That was the first
time she met Mia, like it took that long. Yeah, power,
That says a lot about her right and her fears.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Right and the cur bridge for her to come to
drive that distance thinking about it and not confronting her,
but meeting her. I guess it was a little bit
of a confrontation. Yes, instantly refused her lunch inventation. No, yes,
I don't think so, you know, this kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
It was a classy conflict. So fear is another theme
I really saw, right, like the why did Emily not
go years before? I'm sure it crossed her mind, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, But now here she is, right now,
she here she is, So there's the opportunity. All right,
let's switch to the Dragonfly and Suki and Laura I
discover Friend is the owner of the Rachel property quote unquote,
which is actually called the Dragonfly, and and they asked
her to buy it. However, Friend isn't selling. It's the
(08:54):
only thing she has in her family. She has no siblings,
she has no family, and that's it. That's her family
that run down, dilapidated in and she wants it forever
and ever. And what a what an hysterical scene that was.
I loved it. They couldn't say the word, they just
had to allude to it. You know, the forever vacation
(09:17):
where we're all going on that vacation.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
What do you mean longer than Europe? Europe?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
No, never, you know, the drama, the dramatic moment. What
I think this show does so well, and what Dan
Palladino did so well in this episode is really make
us laugh and feel for these people and root for
people to stay together when they were in such conflict.
I mean, Luke was the town and you know and
(09:48):
everybody else. And then he trains us, you know, this
show trains us to expect the laugh and crave and
for the laugh because we know it's coming because it's
all so darn funny, and when they hit us with
these dramatic moments, they are just so powerful. They are
they are so impactful.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, and then she says, how about a cupcake?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Oh, yeah, that solves everything. Let's just have a cupcake.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I mean, have you ever seen people so nice to
one another in such a great place to live? I mean,
just wow?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Well, Suki and Laura I get into a tiff, right,
They have a very emotional conversation regarding the next steps
they to do with the end, and where Lurlai flies
just sort of flat out tell Suki she can't be
her sporadic self when it comes to business anymore, which
which ultimately hurts Suki's feelings and it would. And then
(10:45):
you have a heartfelt conversation with Luke and laurealizing lurla
I apologizing to Suki for her behavior. All right, all right,
working with family and friends is difficult, right? Was Lauraa
too harsh with Suki?
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I actually think loura I was just kind of lashing out,
and Suki almost like turned into this childlike being, you know,
and she becomes so sarcastic, and Lurlai is just I
mean like she's shooting blanks here, like what's going on?
(11:21):
At first, I was like, what the heck is this
fight about? Right, But it's really about her emotions that
were happening under the surface, right.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, And we saw that. We saw that with the
painting too, the Rory painting too in the study where
she kind of popped at Emily. Yeah. Yeah, she's on
edge for sure.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Yes. One thing is how she transforms into this incredible
leader at the Independence Inn, and then when she's not there,
she's just chaos, right, And that and that role of
her with Suki, and that that conflict Suki was kind
(12:02):
of the chaos in that moment. You know, she was
really focused on the little things like the topping of
the dessert and you know which if you focus too much,
I like to say, if you focus on the pennies,
you're going to miss the dollar. Well we don't have
pennies where I'm from.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
So but anyway, Yeah, yeah, she's a great boss, Laurla,
And she she's a great boss. She's in her element
and there are aspects of Emily that rubbed off on
her right that make her a great boss and a
great leader. But there is that heart and soul. There
she became the mother that she never had, absolutely, which
(12:43):
is a pattern that a lot of people are familiar with.
So Suki and Laura, what does the conflict reveal about
the challenges of of turning a friendship into a business partnership.
I mean, it's very risky, isn't it It is.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I personally would never do it. I've seen it, you know,
totally fall apart. I would rather find someone to do
have a business with if I couldn't do it by myself,
then become friendly, because I mean, the dynamic changes, right
being friends and you know, our differences and our strengths
(13:28):
and challenges. They don't just go away when you go
into business. They're really highlighted. And that's I think what
was happening in this scene, the beauty of Suki and
her ability to you know, pay so much attention to
detail all of a sudden, a bit of a curse
with business, And I think that's the scary part. If
(13:51):
they're already arguing and they haven't even started, yikes.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, you got to get those first couple of good
fights out of the way, and then you're then can
last if you survive those because a lot of people
don't get past the first one. No, it depends on
how brutal is. But anyway, so you think she was
right to confront Suki in the way that she did.
Could she have handled it differently? Probably?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Obviously, I think she could have handled it a little different.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, because she kind of she ostracized her in public.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
She sure did.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
She didn't do it privately and gently. She just sort
of like let her have it, you know.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
She did, and Suki was pretty delicate, Yeah in that
in that moment, right.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yeah, all right, well, you know, such as life. Anyway,
let's talk about the phony murder. Taylor is not pleased
to find a chalk outline in front of the store, claiming, uh,
it's clues to a dead body. After three people reported
seeing Jess the night of the phony murder, Taylor hosts
(14:53):
a town meaning but started the meeting early as there
was a special issue with the business community needed to
just us without Luke's present, So not fair, not fair.
The people stars hollow upset with both Jess and Luke,
prompting Rory to confront Jess and defend Luke as the
entire town seems to be blaming Luke. For Jess's behavior.
(15:16):
I don't even need to ask this question. You know,
of course he's going to be bothered Luke. This is
this is a classic I think this is you know,
there's a lot of Luke in this episode and a
lot of rants, but there's also a lot of good Uh.
You know, he's such a good friend to Laurel I
when he's reconnecting the goat's head from the hoopah and uh,
(15:40):
you know, imparting his wisdom from his first year starting
his his diner business. And so yeah, I mean we
see that side of Luke that just gets into a rant.
He's cornered, he feels trapped, and he lashes out. But
wonderful how Laurel I comes to his defense, and then
of course Rory later confronting.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Jess, also comes to his defense.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah. Really nice to see.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
But he's such a good man.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Did you think it was fair for the town to
blame Luke? No, No, that's Taylor's influence. That's Taylor's nefarious
influence over the town.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
It's such a snob in this episode, like here, you know, here,
here's this kid that wouldn't have had a home, and
he's got everything against him, right, except his beloved uncle
who is I mean, you know, even Jess is against Luke,
(16:44):
and yet he still perseveres and is trying to do
good for this this kid who keeps messing up in
the town.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Right, Yeah, you think Luke at this point feels like
he's failing both the town and just because it seems
like everybody's so upset with him.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I think he's frustrated. Yes, maybe not failing, but he
definitely is wavering on that line, not sure what's going
to happen.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Right, Yeah, all right, let's get to the oil painting.
This was very funny. During a Friday night dinner, Emily
reveals she wants an oil painting of Rory. She even
arranges for Rory to pose in a chair in an
awkward position with her arm draped over her head and
a swan as a prop. Lorelei calls reacts with her
(17:38):
trademark sarcasm when she sees the prompting Emily to remark
that she can be so harsh sometimes. She really did
come down on Emily was trying to do a nice thing.
She's just so out of touch with these two, you know,
I mean, it's just but it's like this old school tradition,
(17:58):
we let's have a painting for Richard. And she was
she was just trying to do something nice for her husband,
who she really sympathized with being on the road and
missing him.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
That's all she's got, her class, that's it, that's it.
That's all she knows. So she's gonna stay safe, right yeah, yeah,
But did you see how Laura I really want still
wants her mom's approval. Like when even at the dinner
table before that, you know, Emily says, do you want
to mirror in front of your face? You can finish
(18:30):
your conversation. She goes, sorry, mom, Right, you can see
she could have come back, but she really does want
her mom's approval. It's like that again, that paradox of
conflict and connection throughout the whole episode.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It's just, you know, these verbal beatdowns from Emily. But
I mean, the behavior is very provocative coming out of Laura,
isn't it?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Is I mean, with cutting Emily out of the conversation
and just quipping her daughter to reject reject, Oh here
we go, careful, don't commit to it. I mean it's
I mean, in real life and real time that is
annoying to Emily, she's annoyed by.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
This, But why do you think she's doing that?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Well, I think because she is. I think both women
are deeply hurt. I think that all that's coming from
lorealized pain and not being able to connect with her
own mother consistently. And you know that's sarcasm, and that
that humor comes out as a as a defense mechanism, right,
(19:34):
I mean, it's just how to keep the distance and
how to keep it safe. And this is how I
feel safe, and you know I can't be vulnerable or
intimate with my own mother, I mean, and that's where
all this humor comes from. And it's it's glorious to watch,
but it's really I mean, it's very sad, you know,
(19:56):
very very sad.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Yeah, but I agree with that. Right Often, people, especially kids,
they act out in the worst ways to have some connection, right, right,
So that lashing out is is a connection. Gossiping, it's connecting,
you know, and any of those those ways, it's still connecting,
(20:20):
even if it's hurtful.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
And I think after Laura, I apologize for the painting,
uh drubbing. Uh. You know, Emily showed some real grace
in accepting her apology.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yes she did, and I'm glad.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I'm glad that Laura I apologized. I really am.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I wish there was a hug. I was hoping they
were going to have embrace. But that's just not them.
I don't know. I'm a hugger, you know. I have
so many clients that say, my parents never hugged me, right,
(21:01):
and that wild And I recently had somebody that said,
I can't say I love you. Anybody said, can you
say I love you to your child? Nope, can't do it.
What about your dog? Oh yeah, I can do that
because my dog loves me back wild Eh. What a
(21:24):
different world we would live in if everybody was vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Well, they say, a twenty second hug, you know, creates
all of these wonderful chemical reactions inside of a child
and with the parent as well. There's a there's a
bonding that happens.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Hugs are important, they sure are, but not to Emily Gilmore.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yeah, that's just a generation. That's that generation that they
were tough man. They really withheld, withheld, withheld, and that
was their control and their power over and you know
all that bs right, that is too bad? All right now,
(22:09):
we get to the closing scene, Emily shows up at
the end this big scene to meet the woman who
raised her daughter, and Mia tells Emily, upon seeing young
Laura l I with a baby in her arms, that
if that were her daughter, she would have wanted someone
to take her in. Wow. Devastating, Emily says, she would
(22:34):
have wanted her to send her home. And that's where
we see Emily is just completely disconnected from anybody else's
emotional life. This is a truly self centered, egotistical, stubborn
(22:56):
woman who cannot see beyond her own.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Knows and uh wow, not even a thank you, nothing,
just ice, just entitled.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
And that no wonder Loralai left.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Right mm hmm oh yeah, I mean she.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Was just suffocating in there, right yeah. And that I
think is the life for a lot of people, not
really a home the way that independence in was for Loorlai.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
How many young kids in this country over the decades
have been searched of left home and they're searching for
their meya.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
So many, so so.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Many, and they a lot don't find their medya.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
The massive problem, you know, that's parents, take heed, hug
your kids, tell them you love it.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I mean if you were to give one piece of advice,
you know, before the end, before you went on that
long vacation my end, well whoever, I mean that that
would be my advice. How of your kids tell them
you love them like every day multiple times?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
And yes, take I don't think I can say this
word on the air, but take the bee out of
the obituary that is in my book, because in other words,
you need to be vulnerable, right right? What kind of
legacy do you want to leave?
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Right?
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Do you want? Is it going to say, well, worked
fifty hours on your epitaph or made a beautiful painting
with ours up actually happened to be the book? So
what kind of legacy are you going to leave? Because remember,
people don't remember what you teach them. They remember how you,
how they felt around you, right right, So this whole episode,
(25:00):
and if you take that perspective of how Loralai felt
around Mia compared to her mom, and the difference in
her mannerism so different. So great.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Summer is this season of love Summer Loven, here we come.
If you're old enough to remember Summer Loven, you're old
enough to find and I Do Part Two. Listen each
week as our hosts make it their goal to find
you the next true love of your life. Jenny Garth,
Jana Kramer, Alexia Napola, Cheryl Burke, Jen Fessler, Kelly ben Simone,
(25:41):
Amy Roebock, and TJ. Holmes are dedicated to helping you
fall in love again. It's time to make it hot,
hot hot this summer.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Listen to I Do Part Two on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You know,
it's really interesting to start a series this way with
such a unexpectedly powerful move by a sixteen year old
(26:13):
Laurel I with a baby. That is a power move. Yeah,
she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know
how empowering it would be. She just knew she had
to get away and the only way her gut was
telling her get away from this. This is too toxic
to even deal with. I do not want my baby
(26:35):
anywhere near this right right. What a brave thing to
do for a sixteen year old. And that's where this
series begins, with this power move, this conscious or no
right power move from this Laureli Gilmore with a baby Rory, right.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah, as if she didn't have a choice, she had
to do it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Then we meet her sixteen years later when her daughter's
sixteen years old. What a hook, What a powerful hook,
and all of this unfolding before us. This is, you
know what, tyrants and bullies and and I've had a
great deal of experience with this. Never expect. The one
(27:23):
thing they don't expect when they with her friends or
business colleagues or family members. What they never expect is
that you can just leave. You can just cut them off.
And it's an amazingly empowering thing.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
You know what, Scott, There's three things that often keep
us stack in, you know, any adverse childhood experiences, traumatic events,
awful things, lack of choice, lack of safety or responsibility.
You can cover those three things. We really can be
(28:05):
free of a lot of those awful feelings of shame
and guilt. And so many people feel stuck. Right but Laurela,
I didn't she did it.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
I think of all the characters in this show, people
ask me all the time, you know, how are you
similar to Luke? And you know who I'm similar to
is Larelai?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Oh yeah, I identify with that very very strongly, that
will to power, that will to cut off, that will
to to reinvent, that will to heal the wounds, and
knowing and staying positive and knowing that there's a better situation,
(28:47):
there's a better future. What a great role model, What
a great thing. This is the power of this show.
It's it's it's that, you know, it's that that courageous
Laureli Gilmour.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
What were your dreams?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
My dream we're going to do a little therapy, Okay, well.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
But Lareli's dream of having her own in right, and
her dream of leaving home and you know, the home
of the independence in and what was your dream?
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Well, when I was a kid growing up, my dream
was to be a ski racer, believe or not in
New Jersey where that just wasn't gonna happen. No, it's flat,
there aren't really any mountains, and yet here I was wanting,
wanting to be a ski racer. I don't know, And
we didn't have money, you know, we didn't have enough
(29:43):
money for that. I mean, that's an expensive sport. I
could only afford to go skiing once I, you know,
got Gilmore girls right then, little little then I had
enough to go take a ski trip here and there.
But uh yeah, and then after that, then then after that,
it was just the dream was to go to college
(30:08):
and and to figure it out. It wasn't baseball. I
didn't dream to be a baseball you know. It wasn't that.
I just kind of I didn't fall into it. It
was just sort of like, oh, well, you know, I'm
really good at this. I can I can earn a
living doing this. I don't know how good a living
I can earn, but I can be professional and we'll
see how it goes.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
You know, that kind of wow.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
But it was really, you know, there was there was
writing involved. You know. I wanted to be a writer
in my teens and I wrote a great deal and
I read a great deal of books. So I wanted
to go to college and study English literature and and
be a writer.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Have you wrote any books?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
No, No, I've written chapters, and I've written a lot
of short stories, and I've written screenplays and I've written, yes, teleplays,
not not very many teleplays, but screenplays. Yeah. I've started
a couple of novels and just got stuck. Yeah, you know,
you really have to confront your game and is doing
that in a room, right, It's it's terrifying. So yes,
(31:07):
it is, you know, the writing bug and the writing
gene is in my family. But nice you know, uh,
the dream shift opportunities present themselves. You know, it's like,
you know, God laughs at people that make these these
very detailed plans for their lives, right because they never
(31:28):
take into consideration the the chaotic nature of everyday life,
right and chance happenings.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
That's also why I don't think Suki and larealize business
dream is going to come to fruition like based on
this episode, because Suki is so her attention to detail
and then life comes in like there's just it just
doesn't work right. You can only plan so much, we
(31:58):
can't control, which is scary in itself.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Right, Right, I have to say this is I've had
a lot of not a lot, but I've had a
few favorite episodes. This one really hit me so far
at this point in the I am all in process.
This is my favorite episode.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, I think it's the best written, it's beautifully directed.
I think Michael Cattleman is just such a great director,
and we had great directors and he was an executive
producer for the first couple of years. So this, this show,
in this first couple of seasons, really has Michael Cattleman's
stamp on it. And you know, I just remember really
(32:48):
loving working with him and thinking that his episodes were
just really you know, just crackling good.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, as they say, there's so much in it.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
And you got a Palladino writing the script. You got
a Dan Palladino, you know, and it's just like the
talent here and again. And I'll say it to the
cows come home, because the cows, the cows come home,
and then they leave and then they come back. I
just marveled a not at what I was doing in
(33:19):
the show. I just marveled at the opportunity that I
got to be in that show, and I got to
be in these scenes. You know, you see this this
side of Luke that comes out when he hugs me, right,
this loving, welcoming guy, and then he switch his gears
(33:39):
and he's he's getting getting tense with Taylor at the counter,
and then he pops in the in the town hall
meeting and Ben he's a great friend, and in the
kitchen with Laurel I repairing the.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
Headless goat that he can go from zero to ten
like that, right, And.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Just so much fun to play it, and so lucky
to have been asked to do that. So just really
loving the show and so grateful, just so full of gratitude.
And I know people hear that and they roll their eyes,
but man, I mean, just the more time that goes by,
the more I appreciate this, you know. And you know,
(34:22):
I was in Idaho recently at a comic con and
I got to meet all the fans. You know, these fans,
they're newly minted fans, right. There's fans that have been
loyal since two thousand, twenty five years of loyalty. And
there's fans that just discovered the show a couple months
ago or a couple of years ago, and they were
(34:44):
aware of it, but they never watched it. And then
they watch it and here they are at comic con
and they're sharing this energy with me, and they're just
so excited to be there and talk about the show
and share their experiences watching the show with their mom
or their family, or their boyfriend or their husband, their
dog or their cat. Right, I mean, it's they go
to sleep with it, the husbands and the boyfriends come
(35:07):
up to me, and my wife couldn't make it. I
just want you to I wanted she wanted me to
get a picture in an autograph with you and all
this stuff. So you know, you've basically taken over my bedroom.
And my wife falls asleep to this show now.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
And my husband I caught him singing the song. He's
like a Harley Davidson.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I love these guys, man. I just give him a
hug and say, hang in there.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Man, I got nothing to my fourteen year old.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
He loves right everybody. It's everybody.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
We can watch it.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, it's amazing. It's just an amazing phenomenon. I was
also in Oklahoma City's same thanks, same reaction. People have
been with the show twenty five years and or people
just discovered it. They just wanted to come and say
hello and celebrate. And it's just such a great engage,
passionate fan base and there's so much fun. And I
love going to these cons. I love going to these kinds.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
This subculture totally.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Absolutely, and it's growing and growing and growing and growing. Anyway,
final thoughts, and give give me your take on the
entire seven seasons. Your your your your general take, on
the entire seven seasons, because I understand you just finished watching.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
One hundred and fifty eight episodes.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
No, really, one hundred and fifty seven, I think.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Oh was it seven? Okay?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Is there one hundred and fifty eighth of my God?
You're going to set that, oh story the Gilmour versus,
like where there's a missing episode? What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Maybe only availed in Canada?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Yeah, one fifty three, two thousand and two thousand and seven,
and then four Netflix, that's one fifty seven. Maybe it's one.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Sorry, maybe it one's fished, no worse, maybe I probably
dreamed one in my head. My final You know what,
here's a story of you know, real life, how real
these conflicts can show up in our real life and
how the fear and all these motions can just drive
(37:01):
what we do. But it's so important to dream, right
you know? That's that was really my takeaway, Like the
opportunities are there, we have choices, and some of the
dreams that Lora, Lei and Rory had and they get
to live it out, and the ones that didn't get
(37:23):
to do that, what was stopping them? You know? It
doesn't have to be this way, right right?
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:30):
So just because we are like this, we're scared, doesn't
mean we have to continue. Maybe it's not our fault,
but it's our responsibility to get over this fear and
live the dream we have.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, you must. It's a load you don't have to
carry anymore. That's right, you know, get rid of it.
And there's ways to do it. And Jennifer is one
of those people I am that is compassionate and caring
and trained by the way, yes, to help you shoulder
off that load, put it down, and learn how to
(38:08):
walk in strength going forward.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Yeah, my book's been helpful to lots of people I've heard.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Let's hold that book up again. Let's see that book.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
It's a picture of me. Huh. Everything I can't say
in a session, I say it into here. So there's
lots of humor and tidbits all about conflict.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
You can get that on Amazon.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Amazon, Yep, Jennifer Banks, Yes, follow me please. And there's
a lot of tips and tricks that I like to
share on TikTok and my socials. I just like helping people,
I really do. And it's a little bit about my story.
My husband, God love him, twenty years. This year wasn't
(38:54):
always easy. He broke his neck in two thousand and
three and that was the beginning of our story. Yeah,
so the burdens of what happens with chronic health issues, etc. Yeah,
but this was wonderful.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Jennifer Banks, thank you for coming on. One of the
world's protective angels. Right there. Ladies and gentlemen, get her
book and book an appointment if you need her, because
she's wonderful. I've seen her in action, folks, and she is.
She's one of the best. Jennifer Banks, thank you so
(39:33):
much for joining us. And that's going to wrap up
Season two, episode eight, the Ins and Outs of Inns.
Wonderful episode so far, my favorite, my new favorite anyway,
Jennifer Banks, thanks for joining us and that's good for us.
Our pleasure and come back any time, by the way,
I'd love to fascinating discussion. Fascinating discussion. Thanks Roy r.
(39:57):
Cards and letters and emails and thoughts. Keem com best
fans on the planet, bar none. Where you lead, we
will follow. Stay safe everyone, do hey everybody, and don't forget.
(40:37):
Follow us on Instagram at I Am all In podcast
and email us at Gilmore at iHeartRadio dot com.
Hosts And Creators
Amy Sugarman
Danielle Romo
Scott Patterson
Tara Soudbaksh
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