His name is Michael Rapaport aka The Gringo Mandingo aka The Jewish Brad Pitt aka Captain Colitis aka The Disruptive Warrior aka Mr. NY aka Mr. Nantucket is with Dean Collins aka Dean Cuddles aka The Young Shooter aka The Fake Kurt Cobain aka Deuce Collins aka Deuce Cuddles & they are here to discuss: If everybody is doing good, Dean designing his new apartment because his Mom is an interior designer, Going to Indianapolis Together, Watching Everything Everywhere All At Once, contacting The Daniels 12 years ago, a need for an In Memorium Committee at The Oscars & needing Dean to rally the troops if necessary, Michael's upcoming birthday & an acting career recommendation, Re-Viewing Breaking Bad, what they're watching, being in a chocolate chip cookie spiral & a whole lotta mo'! This episode is not to be missed!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yes, Brendan Bang and I Am wrap Port Stereo podcast
is here. He haf no fear. On today's Iron wrapp
Portstereo podcast, Deuced Colouns, Deuced Patino is in the place
to be. We're still talking about the oscars. We're trying
to figure out, break down and understand everything everywhere all
at once. Do you like it? Is it over your head?
(00:31):
It was way over my head. Plus we're still talking
about the disrespect of Paul Cervino and others and so
much more on a museum quality, hard hitting I Am
wrapp Reports Stereo podcats where Deuced Patino shares his secret
fried chicken recipe. You heard it, Miles joining gave the
(00:52):
beach mother. Start this puppy off of top, real nice.
Start this puppy offtop, real loud, but most apportly, start
this I Am wrap Portstereo podcast off something real funky.
I am Rapporterio Poggy, Let's go boom boom. Have no
(01:19):
fear of the Igginty. I Am Rappaport Stereo podcast is here.
Welcome to the Iron Dome of Disruption. Welcome to the
Ziggity the Ziggity Zone of Disruption. My name is Michael
rappaport Ak the Gringo man Dingo aka the Inflamed Oshka
nazi ak A Captain Collidis a k a. The Raging Bullshitter.
(01:44):
Hope everybody's feeling good. Hope everybody's feeling safe. Hope every
body is feeling sane. And we say part times sometime
we do not play around because today Boom, we have
the part time sometime I'm co host with the most
The Young Shooter is in Sucasa. Dean Collins Deuce Piccino
(02:09):
aka Deuce Collins, he's here. How are you, my friend?
Mi amigo? Thank you Michael. I'm doing really well. How
how are you doing? I just said I was doing good.
I mean, I went on for about two minutes saying
how good I was. I know, I'm just making conversation
with you. I didn't ask you how how you were doing.
I felt like that was just to the audience. I'm
(02:31):
just checking in see how everything was going with you.
How how are you? I just I just said that
I was I was doing good. I welcomed everybody to
the Iron Dome of Disruption. I welcomed everybody to the
Ziggindy Zone of Disruption. But are you ever like in
the in the intro are like, I know that's been
your intro like for as long as I can remember,
(02:52):
But like, have you ever been like welcome to the
Ziggindy zone, Like I'm not doing good? Oh yeah, I
don't feel good? Like oh yeah, I've said that a
few times. I've said it a few times. I mean
normally when I I'm podcasting, when I'm in the Ziggity
Zone of disruption and then the and the eiggitty Iron
Dome of disruption, normally, like you know, intrinsically sell your Literally,
(03:17):
I feel good because I'm so happy to be in
the Iron Dome of disruption and in the Ziggity Zone
of disruption. But but more importantly, more importantly, how are you?
The last time you were here, you had gone through
some construction with your big move. How's that move? How's
that big move going? Um? It's going well, man, I
(03:38):
mean I like, look, I yeah, I'm still doing it.
I mean, it's this isn't It's obviously like boring conversation.
No one really wants to hear about the big move.
It's been nice for me. I'm in a bigger space.
I really love it. I'm trying to design it. I'm
trying to like my ha Why why is that funny?
(03:58):
I don't understand what what did I say that was
so funny? I'm trying to design it. I mean, I'm
trying to make the space of my own. Why is
that funny? You use the D word design? Why is
that so funny? I mean, I'm trying to like put
my own like taste into this, and I've just I've
come to realize that I'm not an interior designer like
(04:21):
I thought I had good taste, and I've like selected
a lot of things online and then when it all
gets here, it doesn't look the way that I thought
it was gonna look like. It looks like just like
a cluster fuck a shit, Like I need someone to
like help me like make decisions because it doesn't look good.
What gave you the impression that you were an interior
designer because you said I thought I was an interior designer? Like,
(04:41):
what prompted you to think that you the young shooter
you do Spaccino or some sort of interior designer type. Well,
my mom is an interior designer. I don't know if
that's something that you knew or that I know that. Yes,
So I just thought that maybe that was kind of
in like my bloodline, like maybe that was a part
of my genes, Like, oh my mom's an in tear,
maybe I have that, you know, maybe I have some
(05:03):
of that. So I don't and you know, I'm just
I'm working on it, man, I'm working on it. I'm
trying to find the right artwork. I'm trying to find
all the right things. But like it's not coming together
quite the way that I want it. But it's it's
it's a slow climb. So I appreciate you you asking
about it, though, but it does feel nice to be here,
and like I have a big kitchen now, and I'm
(05:24):
like trying to utilize my kitchen as like a grown up,
like an adult, like you're supposed to like cook things
and make things. And like I've started making chicken, which
has been really cool. I have my own secret chicken recipe.
There's like lemon and garlic powder and lemon pepper and
I put rosemary in time like the Simon and Garfunkele song.
I've been putting that in the skillet. But other than
my chicken recipe, I find myself still just like make
(05:47):
an easy mac in the kitchen, Like it's not like
a great look, Like I'm still trying to grow up
over here. And your secret chicken recipe, did you come
up with that on your own? Or is that something
you found on Reddit? Or like where'd you get that
secret chicken recipe? Because you said you said secret, like
you're very prominent about that, Like it's a secret chicken recipe, yes,
(06:09):
my secret chicken recipe. Um, it's like kind of a mission, Masha.
I have taken a little bit from Gordon Ramsay, you
have taken a little bit from some people on YouTube,
and like then I've kind of made it my own thing,
you know what I mean. So that's something that I'll
be making for you when we go on the road,
because I'm coming to Indianapolis. So I was thinking, you know,
I don't know if I should like put the skillet
in my carry on or maybe they have a skillet
(06:32):
at the Airbnb, but like I do have my own
skillet that I was thinking about bringing. But as long
as we can get the ingredients wallum out there, the rosemary,
the time, the garlic cloves, the lemon pepper, and and
I just need you to like have the timer for me,
like after three to four minutes, that's when I flip. Okay,
I have no problem with that. I have a feeling that, um,
you're not going to be cooking for me on the
(06:53):
road in Indianapolis. I have a feeling that that that somehow,
some way that will will not work out, whether it
skill it problem, whether it's an airbnb. By the way,
have you secured our airbnb for our trip the twenty third,
twenty fourth, and twenty fifth in Indianapolis? Have you have
you zeroed in on a place for us? Oh? Well,
I've narrowed it down. I created a wish list on Airbnb.
(07:16):
But that's something I'm so glad you reminded me of
that because I need to send that wish list out
to you. Um. But it just seems like there's not
a lot of like I thought I was going to
be like, oh, we're on your budget, we're on your dime.
Like maybe we're like looking into some castles or some
houses or some like many like mini mansions, you know,
like that that you know. But I all I've been
finding is like apartment complexes where it's like it's it's
(07:38):
so hard to just find like two beds in an apartment,
and so I'm finding two beds. Otherwise, are you be
on that couch? You be on that couch? You feel me? Well,
I'm not flying all the way to Indianapolis, coach, and
I also have a layover, by the way, like somehow
you managed to get me a layover. Ye, So I'm
actually I'm actually stopping in Dallas for about four hours
(08:00):
and I'm gonna be at the back of the plane again.
But I am stopping in Dallas for like four hours,
and so I don't want to go to the airbnbn
be sleeping on a couch like I might as well
just do all that in my house in bed. It's
gonna be good. Now, let me ask you something we
talked off podcast about Everything. Well, how do you say
(08:20):
the film Everything Everywhere, all at once? That's it, which
I just watched last night. Now, you mentioned on the
podcast that you liked it. I watched it last night
and it was ridiculously, incredibly creative. I actually read a pamphlet.
(08:44):
It should come with a pamphlet like a reference book,
because it's so in my opinion, and I don't mean
this in any disrespectful way. Because after reading about it,
I want to watch it again. But everything every everywhere?
What is it? Everything everywhere all at once, everything everywhere,
(09:05):
all at once, Like I said, incredibly creative and has
just so many subliminal meanings. I felt like you should
read the pamphlet and read the sort of like it
should come with, like some sort of like manual like
a Direction's Kid or something like that, because I found
(09:25):
it extremely confusing. And me and my wife we shut
the phones, we shut the curtains, we shut everything down,
and we were like, we need to watch this movie
that you know obviously, you know, so many people love
and have been talking about it, and they swept up
the oscars. And like I said, after reading the article
with all the Easter aids and all that stuff, I
(09:45):
was able to make better understanding of it if and
when I do watch it one more time. What were
you able to take away from that film? Were you
able to understand what the fuck was going on? Yeah?
Oh no, honestly, I'm not gonna lie like I just
I've realized I wanted to be like, oh yes, I
absolutely loved it. I loved it because that's it seems
(10:06):
like everyone has been saying that they're just like, this
is the greatest movie, best movie of the year. I
liked it. I thought it was very creative. Obviously super
fucking creative. The directors are so talented. They come from
a music video world, so they have that edge on them,
like over a lot of other directors and stuff, and
so they're very creative. But I just don't like the
(10:28):
multiverse world. It's like, I'm trying to escape these Marvel
movies and all these superhero movies where it's all the multiverse.
And this movie it was cool because it was very
creative and everything, but it's still touched upon that whole
you know, different universes and how she's got to save
existence by exploring other universes and all that stuff, and
(10:51):
I just I don't love that. Like topic, I don't
love that, but I still thought it was very creative.
I thought that the acting was really great. I love
seeing hua Quan. I think I'm pronouncing it right, but
Data from the Goonies. I grew up on the Goonies,
and I think everybody did. Everyone loves that movie, and
so seeing him and from Indiana Jones make a crazy
(11:12):
comeback and he was great in it. I mean, he was.
He was honestly great in it. I thought he was
so good. Everybody was good. But I don't. I didn't
love the movie, and I have to agree with you.
I liked it, but I have to agree with you.
I thought it was super confusing. It was just like
it was a trip. It was a fucking trip. Yeah.
I mean, some of these people that say they love
it so much, I would love it if they came
(11:34):
on the podcast and explain what the fucking movie was about. Because,
like I said, after reading like the little pamphlet, the
Guide to Everywhere, everything all at once, I was able
to make sense of it. But while I was watching it,
I was like, what the fuck is going on? And
it's interesting because so many films and so many television
(11:55):
shows today are dealing with the metaverse, the multiverse, the
subliminal and all this, like the TV show Severance and yeah,
you know, identity and switching identity and you know in
reality and you're not in reality. And I don't know
what that's about. But for me, you know, historically and traditionally,
(12:17):
when it comes to movies that I respond to and
that resonate with me, none of them take place in
the multiverse, multiverse, the subliminal. They all take place in reality.
Because if I asked you Young Shooter, Duced Patino, Deuce Collins, hey,
what's this movie about? Where you would you be even
(12:39):
able to make an explanation of what this movie's about?
Like honestly, like if somebody said to you, what's this
movie about? Are you able to art? Because I'd be like,
I have no fucking idea. No, I have a hard
time articulating like basic movies. And to throw that one
at me, I mean that's like, fuck, I need to
I need to do my research. But yeah, it's just
like a mind fuck. I don't know all these different universes.
(13:00):
It was creative, it was cool. I do have a
little tidbit. I wasn't even going to bring it up
on the podcast, but I thought it was a cool story.
I thought, I think it's inspiring. The only reason that
I'm like kind of attached to this movie even though
I didn't love it, And I'm attached to those directors,
the Daniels who won everything at the Oscars. They won
Best Picture, Best Director, all the acting, everything. So I've
(13:24):
been following their career for since twenty twelve and basically,
when I was doing music with my band Pacific back
in the day in twenty twelve, they had not done
a movie. They hadn't done their feature film at all,
and they had only done music videos. And I watched
a music video that they directed for the band The Shins,
(13:45):
and I ended up finding their email and I emailed
them and I just wrote to them, which is crazy
because I looked at this email. I found it eleven
years ago. I wrote to the Daniels and it was
on March twelfth, twenty twelve, which was the day of
the Oscars that they would win Best Picture, Best Directors
(14:05):
the day. Eleven years to the day, I wrote them
and I said, I wanted to let you guys know.
You know, I loved the work that you did for
this music video was amazing. I can't stop watching it.
And as a young musician and an aspiring filmmaker, I
think you guys are awesome and I'm in this band
and I would it would mean the world to me
if you listen to this new song that we're putting
out at the end of this month, we're putting out
(14:27):
an EP. I would love to hear what you guys think.
And I found this email of that day of the
Oscars eleven years ago that they wrote me back and
they said, Hey, man, we're so glad you're into our stuff.
It's surreal to be at a place in our lives
where people are taking inspiration from us. Listen to your track.
It's really solid. Man. You guys have a cool, nice
(14:47):
throwback sound. Good luck with the release and everything. Keep
at it. And I just was tripped out by the
fact that I wrote that to them eleven years to
the day that they would win all all these awards.
So I've I've been following their career since back then,
and I think they're extremely talented and I think they
deserve everything. But I just thought that was a cool
(15:08):
little tidbit. So I've been following them. Have they made
another film or was this the first film they made.
They made a movie before this called Swiss Army Men,
starring Daniel Radcliffe and Paul Dano, and that was the
only other movie. It was a weird movie. It was
like it was like Daniel Radcliff's like a dead body
and Paul Dano's like using his body. It's so weird.
(15:30):
But that was their only other movie. But I just
remember them being extremely talented music video directors and like
their work was awesome, so it was cool to see them,
you know, win everything. I didn't particularly love the movie,
but I still thought it was you can't deny it
was super creative. It's been a few days since the Oscars,
(16:04):
and I gotta tell you, Um, obviously I went super
viral because I was really upset, and I truly was upset,
like truly truly was upset about the in memorium people
that they forgot. They forgot so many people at the
Oscars to give them their their farewell on the biggest
(16:25):
stage that you could get during the Academy Awards. And
you know, on last time on the podcast I was
talking about I didn't even realize that they didn't even
have Gilbert Godfried wasn't in there, um, which I think
is crazy. And I realized last year they forgot Bob Saggett. Yeah,
(16:45):
they forgot Bob Saggett last year, which is also crazy,
but yeah, I mean they forgot. Look, they do this
every year. There's always people that have forgotten I don't know,
and they they've stood by their decisions. They're like, you know,
look these people we can only fit into a certain
amount of time. But they live on our website. If
you go to our website, they're up here. But it's like,
(17:06):
that's horseshit. You know, they forgot Tom size More, they
forgot William Hurt, they forgot Gilbert Godfried, they forgot Paul Sorvino,
who else or you know who else they forgot. They
forgot Barbara Walters. Yo, they live on on the website.
Nobody's going to the website, you know. And now the
story about Paul Sorvino is somehow about Mirror Sorvino because
(17:30):
she tweeted something out very sweet and tasteful, and I'm like, no,
it shouldn't be about Mirror Savino. It should be about
the person who's responsible for forgetting Paul Sorvino. That's who
I want to see. I don't want this story to
be about Mirror Sorvino. I don't want the story to
be about me. I want about be about the person
who got fired for fucking up, because that's just a
(17:51):
fuck up. They don't just live on them. Oh, I'm
gonna go to the Academy Award website to do like
a deep dig on who you forgot. No, it's it's ridiculous.
They need a committee that's like dedicated to that, like
the in memorium section, not like production assistance and all
these people. But I mean, yeah, it's crazy. They forgot
(18:12):
so many people, and they always do, they always do.
But they you know, apparently they stand by their decision.
But I was shocked. I was. I noticed that too.
There were a ton of people in that in that
broadcast that just weren't included, which was super disrespectful. They've
dedicated their whole lives to their craft and to that industry.
And like I said on the last podcast, and I'm
holding your feet to the fire, Dean, if and when
(18:36):
I ever do pass away, if they forget me at
the Academy Awards, I want blood in the fucking streets.
I want bodies in the streets. I want fucking bodies
outside the Academy Award building. And I'm holding you responsible
for that. Say I will make sure that there's blood
(18:59):
in the street and bodies piled up. Say it right now.
I promise you. I will do whatever I can to
make sure that you get up in that immemorium section.
But I don't want to have anything to do with
blood on the streets, blood in the streets. I'm not
a fighter, and like, if they forget you, they forget you,
Like that's I don't know what to tell you. I
can There's only so much I could do on my
end to push that campaign for you to get in
(19:21):
that immemorium. But I mean, let's face it, if they
forgot Paul Sorvino and Anne Haje and Barbara Walters, I
have there's just like a strong inkling that I could
feel that they're probably gonna forget you. And I don't
want to be rude about it, and that's not me.
I totally would include you. I'd put you right there.
You would have been where Olivia Newton John was. It
would have opened with you, Michael Rappaport, and it would
(19:44):
have been you little motherfuck? Are you No, I'm saying
I have your back. I'm saying I have your back.
I'm just saying I just have a feeling that maybe
you'd be forgotten in that category. I hope not. I
hope that I'm completely wrong about that, But you know
that I'll I'll go to bat for you, always have always,
So what are you willing to do. You just said
you're not willing to ensure that there will be blood
(20:06):
in the streets and bodies piled up. So how far
are you willing to take things. I'm willing to hop
on the on a phone call and call the academy
or call the production assistance or the office and say, hey, like,
it'd be awesome if you can include him. But I
don't know what more I could do than that. I'm
not gonna like fucking protest on the streets about it. Wow.
(20:28):
I would hope that that I wouldn't even have to
make that phone call. I would have hoped that your
peers would would gladly accept you in that immemorium section.
But we don't need to talk about that because that's
not happening anytime soon, anytime soon, anytime soon, because I'm
only fifty two, which brings me I'm only fifty two,
but in a few days I will be fifty three.
(20:50):
I am turning fifty three years old on March twentieth.
As everybody knows, we do the podcast every year. It's
my birthday. Every year's Dean's birthday. I said the other day,
I'm not that thrilled to be the number fifty three.
It doesn't sound good because I realized my inner child
(21:11):
is still like a fourteen year old boy, and then
my brain is the brain of a ninety one year old,
flammed up, frustrated, back, aching, foot, swollen, ninety one year old.
So I'm fucked up. It's crazy because this is the
(21:33):
first day that you've mentioned that it's almost your birthday.
And I was thinking about that the other day. I
was like, oh my god, your birthday is coming up
and you haven't said a word about it, And it
was so strange to me because you've always you've mentioned
your birthday coming up, like a month prior. It'll be
like February twenty to be like, guess who's birthday is
coming up in one month, in five hours from now,
(21:53):
it's my birthday. Don't forget a gift. And it's like
it's already like it isn't a couple of days and
you haven't said a word about it. And I found
that really fascinating. And I don't know what that was about,
but you're just seeming a little bit more humble this year.
Do you have anything planned? Are you getting me a gift?
Are you bringing me a gift to Indianapolis. Because when
we're in Indianapolis at the Helium improv they four twenty fifth,
I will have been fifty three. It'll be a few
(22:16):
days after my birthday. Do you have any surprises? You
don't have to give this surprise now, but do you
have anything planned? Let's just put it that way. Do
you have anything planned that you you might want to
just sort of hint at for the week in Indianapolis.
I mean, look, I've thought about this long and hard,
and it's like, what do you get a man who
has everything? You know what I'm saying, like what you
(22:39):
have it all? You got it all? Like what do
you want? And you tell me what you want and
I will get it. And I know that kind of
defeats the purpose of like like I want to get
you something special, um, but you know it like I did.
Remember I got you that candle? Remember I got you
that candle? That one that one year? I got you
that really nice candle. Yeah you might you remember that? Though?
(23:00):
When what when was it? Was that when I moved
or was that when I turned fifty? What when was that?
That was years ago? That was Bob'm just saying that
was no that was no fucking years ago. Mom, Listen,
I don't give a fuck about what you got me
in the past. You fuck I. I'm concerned about what
you're going to get me for turning fifty three because
(23:22):
I'm not happy about it. Man, I'm not. I'm not
happy because my image, Like, I'm just starting to get
get concerned because I'm like, do you know how like
you know older men now, like you see them, they're
in their little suits, in their hats, Like, am I
supposed to just suddenly start dressing like that? Or what
do I do? Can I no longer wear Jordan's? Should
(23:42):
I hand in all my fancy kashmere? Do I not
like what am I supposed to do? How do you
dress appropriately as a fifty three year old man in
twenty twenty three? Fuck? No, man, don't don't let that
ship into your head. I think I think your fashion
sense has gotten way better than when you were fucking
in your thirties. I think you've become like somewhat of
a fashion icon. Now. People are snapping photos of you
in the row jackets and your Kashmir and Captain Kashmir
(24:04):
and King of Kashmir and all that stuff, and I
think what you're doing is great. I don't think that
you should stop any of that. I think it's inspiring
to other people. It's inspiring to someone who's in their thirties,
who's gonna be thirty three in a few months, someone
like me. I think that maybe you know, your outfits
don't change, your style doesn't change, but maybe you look
into start transitioning into different kind of acting work. You know.
(24:27):
I was thinking about that recently. It's like, you know,
a lot of famous people start going into those commercials
where they're like, you know, hey, you have dick problems.
You should try viagraa you know, like you know, when
they start doing those infomercials and things like that, for like,
your cholesterol could start going up at this age, and
I'm taking this medication, and I think that you should
take this medication. I think it's something to explore. Time out. Motherfucker.
(24:50):
I don't have no dick problems. Motherfucker. I know I'm
not saying hocking dick pills when I don't have actual
dick problems. The fuck are you talking about? I mean,
if I'm gonna do, if I'm gonna do something like
age appropriate, I'm gonna be like, hey, I wake up
and I plank. Okay, Hey, I wake up and I
do a five minute sit up routine. Do you okay?
(25:12):
I like that. I see that's that's a part of
brainstorming the ideas, you know what I mean. Like that's
that's a part of the whole thing. Like that's what
I wanted to talk to you about. Like that's that's
a much better idea than the viagra pills. I think
that doing the sit ups and the planks, like maybe
that could be your niche, you know, but I just
don't think that there's anything wrong with going down that
road at your age. Like Brian Cox from a succession,
he's doing the voice of McDonald's. You know, he says,
(25:33):
butt up, Up, up up. It's just maybe you don't
do McDonald's. Maybe you do health things. Um, maybe you
just just trying to inspire the people that, hey, at
my age, if I could, like you said, if I
can do it, you can fucking do it. Maybe those
are your commercials And now I don't think you need
to change your style. Oh man, that's that's Uh. I
(25:53):
gotta figure it out. Have you been watching anything besides
everything everywhere all at once. Have you watched any other movies,
(26:16):
any documentaries, What have you been seeing Shooter, Well, I
haven't been watching everything everywhere all at once. I only
saw that once in theaters, and I'm good on that movie.
I'm but I have been watching I've been rewatching Breaking
Bad for the third time now, going through it all.
I'm rewatching Breaking Bad, and it is so fucking incredible.
(26:38):
I just it really is. Like I know, everyone's like
the Sopranos, Breaking Bad, like it is one of the
greatest shows on TV. I mean we're like ten years past,
you know, the final episode when it came out, But god,
it's just so good. Brian Cranston, Aaron Paul. Everyone knows
about Breaking Bad. I'm on season four now, I'm almost done.
So fucking good. You watch and all the episodes, all
(27:02):
of them. This is my third time going through it,
and you know, there's there's five seasons of this, but
like it's just takeaway, Like what is your takeaway from
watching it? It's incredible. I Mean it's one of the greatest,
if not the greatest show on TV that I've ever seen.
Brian Kranson, Aaron Paul, Everyone on it is so fucking good.
It's kind of sad, like I mean, I wonder if
Aaron Paul feels like like bummed in his career that
(27:25):
he hasn't crossed over to like doing movies and stuff.
But it's like, at the same time, you don't ever
have to do anything for the rest of your life.
The guy probably made thirty million dollars on that fucking show.
I would assume he made millions on that show. But
you know all the Emmys that they want, Like, that's
a great show to be a part of. But Brian Kranston,
I mean, god, he's so fucking good. But they're amazing together.
The other thing that I'm watching, which is definitely added
(27:49):
to the sick fuck lists of documentaries. I don't know
if you've seen it, but it's called Jared from Subway.
Everybody knows Jared from Subway. Obviously when Subway was kicking
those iconic commercials with Jared holding up those fucking blue
jeans and those pants that he wore that you know
he's mister skinny guy now and he was interacting with
(28:12):
all sorts of celebrities. I mean they were saying like
it was like he was Michael Jackson at one point.
Everyone knew Jared from Subway, and obviously we know what
happened to Jared from Subway. And if you don't know
what happened to Jared from Subway and why Subway stopped
making those commercials was because he got caught with child
porn and like hooking up with children and molesting and
(28:33):
assaulting children. He's been in jail or you got like
an eighteen year jail sentence or whatever. So they're doing
this documentary on him and how this all came about.
And they have all these disturbing, disturbing audio calls and
voicemails from this woman who befriends him and then becomes
an informant for the FBI and is taking like years
(28:54):
off of her life to try and you know, get
him indicted on all these like disgusting charges and the
audio is so disturbing and it's definitely a sick fuck
watch is there's three parts. It's on Discovery Plus. That's
what I'm watching it on. But if you haven't seen it,
I recommend watching Jared from Subway. How many how many
(29:14):
episodes are there? Three parts? I think there are three parts.
I just finished part two, But it is like it's
it's disgusting. Is he is it or is it archival footage?
He's not in it now, is he? No? No, no, no,
he's in jail now. I mean, I think he gets
out in twenty twenty seven or something like that. But
I think they I think they beat the shit out
of him, like over like in the past, in the
recent years, they definitely beat the shit out of him
(29:36):
in jail. Oh, they probably gave him their six inch
snobs or their twelve inch stobs one hundred percent, and
he deserves all of it. It is really disturbing shit,
But I recommend watching that. Still watching Milf Manner with
Disco Mommy, I can't stop watching that. We and Disco Mommy,
have you experienced this? But like, I don't know if
we talked about this, but Disco Mommy and like three
(29:58):
of the other MILFs from that show, we're all in
my ms like trying to like they're they're protecting Disco Mommy.
Like I feel like I really fucked up and like
really insulted the milf community out there. Yes, I saw
that Disco Mommy and some of her cohorts were offended.
I mean, they should be so lucky that they get
mentioned by anybody, let alone the Iron Rappaport stereo podcast.
(30:20):
Some of them wanted to challenge just to a fitness competition.
Did you see that? That's what I saw. I saw
he was tagging me, and I'm like, I feel bad
for saying anything against her because I kind of wanted
to take her up on that. I haven't worked out
in like six months, and I was thinking, like, maybe
I do drive to Orange County and do some kind
of fitness routine with Disco Mommy. It doesn't sound like
a bad thing. She made it sound like a bad thing.
I'm like, I would love a free personal training session
(30:42):
and to get I'll get in the ring with Disco Mommy.
She wants to get in the ring. I'll get in
the ring with her. Do some Andy Kaufman shit. Yeah,
I mean, listen, we have nothing. We're celebrating Disco Mommy.
We're celebrating all the MILFs from Milf Manor, and we
have nothing against him. We just were taken aback by
the show when it first came on, as as is
(31:03):
everybody else. And you've continued to watch it. I haven't
continued to watch it. Where are things going on? Manner.
There was one disturbing scene, a really disturbing scene where
all the MILFs are blindfolded and they're on massage beds
and they're all next to each other, side by side,
and the kids who are all their sons. Mind you,
(31:26):
they're all their sons. Okay. All the women's children who
are like twenty and look like they're sixteen. They don't
even look like they're in their early twenties. They look
like they're sixteen, seventeen years old. All the kids have
to massage each other's mothers, and some of them are
like required to massage their own mother and and the
(31:48):
women are blindfolded, and there's like one scene where this
mom is getting massaged by her son and the son
is like, oh, this is so weird, Like in his head,
he's like kind of looking at the camera like this
is so weird, and she's like, oh yeah, yeah, baby,
Oh that feels so good. And it is. It is
so fucking disturbing. It is so disturbing. Hold on, hold on,
(32:12):
hold on. Do you know what episode number that is?
I don't know off the top of my head, but
I will absolutely try and pull that clip from you
because that has been haunting my dreams for weeks. Then
you continue to watch die. How can you not? I
mean it's like a fucking it's like a car wreck.
You can't turn away from it. That is crazy, That
is insane. And they got the nerve to be offended
(32:34):
by us breaking down their show Disco Mommy in her Chords, right, No,
it's wild ship, but they're all like, they're really horny women.
They're really horny. But yeah, it's milf Man or Monday's Man.
You gotta you gotta get on board with it. Um Finally,
I want to say, you know what I'm going through
right now, shooter. I am depression? What depression? No? Anxiety? No, no, no,
(33:02):
what are you going through? I am in a cook
a chocolate chip cookie spiral. Oh you know, I love
my chocolate chip cookies. And yeah, there's so many really
good chocolate chip cookie spots in New York City and
I'm having problems avoiding them. And I don't know what
to do because I was doing well avoiding them or
(33:24):
sort of rashing them out. But there's like, there's a
handful of really good chocolate chip cookie places in New
York that I'm having problems, you know, like I think
about them. Yeah, where are you at with your eating
and your sweets and all that? Oh my god, man,
Well I've been really I've been trying the past like
two days, and I mean it's like a it's like
a crack addict. It's like two days is like a
(33:45):
lifetime for me. That's like I'm doing really well by
doing that within two days. But the crazy thing is
is I'll like eat good for two days and I'll
lose like five pounds, Like I'll notice like I'm skinnier.
Maybe it's just like a placebo effect. But no, because
I got on the scale was one thirty five and
then two days later I was one thirty. But I
did crack yesterday. I'm the wrong person to talk to
(34:06):
about how to curb those cravings. Um I. I mean,
if it were up to me, all I would tell
you is stay away from those chocolate chip cookies on
the streets and go home and get yourself some mini
nestlely cookies and make that shit yourself. But I don't
think that's good advice because That's what I'm doing in
my It's it's like a problem. So what I do
is I have it in my refrigerator, the cookie dough,
(34:27):
and I'm like, I'm not gonna make the cookies. I'm
gonna be good, but then I end up eating all
the raw dough. So it's just it's like a fucking
you have to stay away from it for a period
of time and those cravings will disappear. All right, Well,
I appreciate that coming from somebody that is in the
throes of it. Oh and then when you, when you
and I get to Indianapolis, it's gonna be like, who
the fucking knows what's gonna happen? No? I, oh man? Who?
(34:50):
Especially when because we're not good together. It's like two
atticts together. It's like we're talking about bringing your skillet
and making your your special fried chicken. I'll leave that
at home. We can inge out on cookies over there.
It's gonna be like a fucking meth den where we
are that Airbnb with with sweets? All right, shooter, um
came saw disrupted, came Saw disrupted. We'll be in Indianapolis
(35:13):
twenty third, twenty fourth to twenty fifth. Deuce Collins Duce
Pacino aka the Rappaport Security Team, the one man security team,
will be with me all tickets. All information for all
the shows are available in Michael Rapport Comedy dot com.
Miles Jordan aka The Bleach Brothers a k a. The
Dust Brothers. Take me Autie with something real nice, Take
(35:35):
me Autie with something real out. But most importantly and this,
I am Rappaport stereo podcast with something real funky. I
am Rapports Stereo podcast Done.
Yes, Brendan Bang and I Am wrap Port Stereo podcast
is here. He haf no fear. On today's Iron wrapp
Portstereo podcast, Deuced Colouns, Deuced Patino is in the place
to be. We're still talking about the oscars. We're trying
to figure out, break down and understand everything everywhere all
at once. Do you like it? Is it over your head?
(00:31):
It was way over my head. Plus we're still talking
about the disrespect of Paul Cervino and others and so
much more on a museum quality, hard hitting I Am
wrapp Reports Stereo podcats where Deuced Patino shares his secret
fried chicken recipe. You heard it, Miles joining gave the
(00:52):
beach mother. Start this puppy off of top, real nice.
Start this puppy offtop, real loud, but most apportly, start
this I Am wrap Portstereo podcast off something real funky.
I am Rapporterio Poggy, Let's go boom boom. Have no
(01:19):
fear of the Igginty. I Am Rappaport Stereo podcast is here.
Welcome to the Iron Dome of Disruption. Welcome to the
Ziggity the Ziggity Zone of Disruption. My name is Michael
rappaport Ak the Gringo man Dingo aka the Inflamed Oshka
nazi ak A Captain Collidis a k a. The Raging Bullshitter.
(01:44):
Hope everybody's feeling good. Hope everybody's feeling safe. Hope every
body is feeling sane. And we say part times sometime
we do not play around because today Boom, we have
the part time sometime I'm co host with the most
The Young Shooter is in Sucasa. Dean Collins Deuce Piccino
(02:09):
aka Deuce Collins, he's here. How are you, my friend?
Mi amigo? Thank you Michael. I'm doing really well. How
how are you doing? I just said I was doing good.
I mean, I went on for about two minutes saying
how good I was. I know, I'm just making conversation
with you. I didn't ask you how how you were doing.
I felt like that was just to the audience. I'm
(02:31):
just checking in see how everything was going with you.
How how are you? I just I just said that
I was I was doing good. I welcomed everybody to
the Iron Dome of Disruption. I welcomed everybody to the
Ziggindy Zone of Disruption. But are you ever like in
the in the intro are like, I know that's been
your intro like for as long as I can remember,
(02:52):
But like, have you ever been like welcome to the
Ziggindy zone, Like I'm not doing good? Oh yeah, I
don't feel good? Like oh yeah, I've said that a
few times. I've said it a few times. I mean
normally when I I'm podcasting, when I'm in the Ziggity
Zone of disruption and then the and the eiggitty Iron
Dome of disruption, normally, like you know, intrinsically sell your Literally,
(03:17):
I feel good because I'm so happy to be in
the Iron Dome of disruption and in the Ziggity Zone
of disruption. But but more importantly, more importantly, how are you?
The last time you were here, you had gone through
some construction with your big move. How's that move? How's
that big move going? Um? It's going well, man, I
(03:38):
mean I like, look, I yeah, I'm still doing it.
I mean, it's this isn't It's obviously like boring conversation.
No one really wants to hear about the big move.
It's been nice for me. I'm in a bigger space.
I really love it. I'm trying to design it. I'm
trying to like my ha Why why is that funny?
(03:58):
I don't understand what what did I say that was
so funny? I'm trying to design it. I mean, I'm
trying to make the space of my own. Why is
that funny? You use the D word design? Why is
that so funny? I mean, I'm trying to like put
my own like taste into this, and I've just I've
come to realize that I'm not an interior designer like
(04:21):
I thought I had good taste, and I've like selected
a lot of things online and then when it all
gets here, it doesn't look the way that I thought
it was gonna look like. It looks like just like
a cluster fuck a shit, Like I need someone to
like help me like make decisions because it doesn't look good.
What gave you the impression that you were an interior
designer because you said I thought I was an interior designer? Like,
(04:41):
what prompted you to think that you the young shooter
you do Spaccino or some sort of interior designer type. Well,
my mom is an interior designer. I don't know if
that's something that you knew or that I know that. Yes,
So I just thought that maybe that was kind of
in like my bloodline, like maybe that was a part
of my genes, Like, oh my mom's an in tear,
maybe I have that, you know, maybe I have some
(05:03):
of that. So I don't and you know, I'm just
I'm working on it, man, I'm working on it. I'm
trying to find the right artwork. I'm trying to find
all the right things. But like it's not coming together
quite the way that I want it. But it's it's
it's a slow climb. So I appreciate you you asking
about it, though, but it does feel nice to be here,
and like I have a big kitchen now, and I'm
(05:24):
like trying to utilize my kitchen as like a grown up,
like an adult, like you're supposed to like cook things
and make things. And like I've started making chicken, which
has been really cool. I have my own secret chicken recipe.
There's like lemon and garlic powder and lemon pepper and
I put rosemary in time like the Simon and Garfunkele song.
I've been putting that in the skillet. But other than
my chicken recipe, I find myself still just like make
(05:47):
an easy mac in the kitchen, Like it's not like
a great look, Like I'm still trying to grow up
over here. And your secret chicken recipe, did you come
up with that on your own? Or is that something
you found on Reddit? Or like where'd you get that
secret chicken recipe? Because you said you said secret, like
you're very prominent about that, Like it's a secret chicken recipe, yes,
(06:09):
my secret chicken recipe. Um, it's like kind of a mission, Masha.
I have taken a little bit from Gordon Ramsay, you
have taken a little bit from some people on YouTube,
and like then I've kind of made it my own thing,
you know what I mean. So that's something that I'll
be making for you when we go on the road,
because I'm coming to Indianapolis. So I was thinking, you know,
I don't know if I should like put the skillet
in my carry on or maybe they have a skillet
(06:32):
at the Airbnb, but like I do have my own
skillet that I was thinking about bringing. But as long
as we can get the ingredients wallum out there, the rosemary,
the time, the garlic cloves, the lemon pepper, and and
I just need you to like have the timer for me,
like after three to four minutes, that's when I flip. Okay,
I have no problem with that. I have a feeling that, um,
you're not going to be cooking for me on the
(06:53):
road in Indianapolis. I have a feeling that that that somehow,
some way that will will not work out, whether it
skill it problem, whether it's an airbnb. By the way,
have you secured our airbnb for our trip the twenty third,
twenty fourth, and twenty fifth in Indianapolis? Have you have
you zeroed in on a place for us? Oh? Well,
I've narrowed it down. I created a wish list on Airbnb.
(07:16):
But that's something I'm so glad you reminded me of
that because I need to send that wish list out
to you. Um. But it just seems like there's not
a lot of like I thought I was going to
be like, oh, we're on your budget, we're on your dime.
Like maybe we're like looking into some castles or some
houses or some like many like mini mansions, you know,
like that that you know. But I all I've been
finding is like apartment complexes where it's like it's it's
(07:38):
so hard to just find like two beds in an apartment,
and so I'm finding two beds. Otherwise, are you be
on that couch? You be on that couch? You feel me? Well,
I'm not flying all the way to Indianapolis, coach, and
I also have a layover, by the way, like somehow
you managed to get me a layover. Ye, So I'm
actually I'm actually stopping in Dallas for about four hours
(08:00):
and I'm gonna be at the back of the plane again.
But I am stopping in Dallas for like four hours,
and so I don't want to go to the airbnbn
be sleeping on a couch like I might as well
just do all that in my house in bed. It's
gonna be good. Now, let me ask you something we
talked off podcast about Everything. Well, how do you say
(08:20):
the film Everything Everywhere, all at once? That's it, which
I just watched last night. Now, you mentioned on the
podcast that you liked it. I watched it last night
and it was ridiculously, incredibly creative. I actually read a pamphlet.
(08:44):
It should come with a pamphlet like a reference book,
because it's so in my opinion, and I don't mean
this in any disrespectful way. Because after reading about it,
I want to watch it again. But everything every everywhere?
What is it? Everything everywhere all at once, everything everywhere,
(09:05):
all at once, Like I said, incredibly creative and has
just so many subliminal meanings. I felt like you should
read the pamphlet and read the sort of like it
should come with, like some sort of like manual like
a Direction's Kid or something like that, because I found
(09:25):
it extremely confusing. And me and my wife we shut
the phones, we shut the curtains, we shut everything down,
and we were like, we need to watch this movie
that you know obviously, you know, so many people love
and have been talking about it, and they swept up
the oscars. And like I said, after reading the article
with all the Easter aids and all that stuff, I
(09:45):
was able to make better understanding of it if and
when I do watch it one more time. What were
you able to take away from that film? Were you
able to understand what the fuck was going on? Yeah?
Oh no, honestly, I'm not gonna lie like I just
I've realized I wanted to be like, oh yes, I
absolutely loved it. I loved it because that's it seems
(10:06):
like everyone has been saying that they're just like, this
is the greatest movie, best movie of the year. I
liked it. I thought it was very creative. Obviously super
fucking creative. The directors are so talented. They come from
a music video world, so they have that edge on them,
like over a lot of other directors and stuff, and
so they're very creative. But I just don't like the
(10:28):
multiverse world. It's like, I'm trying to escape these Marvel
movies and all these superhero movies where it's all the multiverse.
And this movie it was cool because it was very
creative and everything, but it's still touched upon that whole
you know, different universes and how she's got to save
existence by exploring other universes and all that stuff, and
(10:51):
I just I don't love that. Like topic, I don't
love that, but I still thought it was very creative.
I thought that the acting was really great. I love
seeing hua Quan. I think I'm pronouncing it right, but
Data from the Goonies. I grew up on the Goonies,
and I think everybody did. Everyone loves that movie, and
so seeing him and from Indiana Jones make a crazy
(11:12):
comeback and he was great in it. I mean, he was.
He was honestly great in it. I thought he was
so good. Everybody was good. But I don't. I didn't
love the movie, and I have to agree with you.
I liked it, but I have to agree with you.
I thought it was super confusing. It was just like
it was a trip. It was a fucking trip. Yeah.
I mean, some of these people that say they love
it so much, I would love it if they came
(11:34):
on the podcast and explain what the fucking movie was about. Because,
like I said, after reading like the little pamphlet, the
Guide to Everywhere, everything all at once, I was able
to make sense of it. But while I was watching it,
I was like, what the fuck is going on? And
it's interesting because so many films and so many television
(11:55):
shows today are dealing with the metaverse, the multiverse, the
subliminal and all this, like the TV show Severance and yeah,
you know, identity and switching identity and you know in
reality and you're not in reality. And I don't know
what that's about. But for me, you know, historically and traditionally,
(12:17):
when it comes to movies that I respond to and
that resonate with me, none of them take place in
the multiverse, multiverse, the subliminal. They all take place in reality.
Because if I asked you Young Shooter, Duced Patino, Deuce Collins, hey,
what's this movie about? Where you would you be even
(12:39):
able to make an explanation of what this movie's about?
Like honestly, like if somebody said to you, what's this
movie about? Are you able to art? Because I'd be like,
I have no fucking idea. No, I have a hard
time articulating like basic movies. And to throw that one
at me, I mean that's like, fuck, I need to
I need to do my research. But yeah, it's just
like a mind fuck. I don't know all these different universes.
(13:00):
It was creative, it was cool. I do have a
little tidbit. I wasn't even going to bring it up
on the podcast, but I thought it was a cool story.
I thought, I think it's inspiring. The only reason that
I'm like kind of attached to this movie even though
I didn't love it, And I'm attached to those directors,
the Daniels who won everything at the Oscars. They won
Best Picture, Best Director, all the acting, everything. So I've
(13:24):
been following their career for since twenty twelve and basically,
when I was doing music with my band Pacific back
in the day in twenty twelve, they had not done
a movie. They hadn't done their feature film at all,
and they had only done music videos. And I watched
a music video that they directed for the band The Shins,
(13:45):
and I ended up finding their email and I emailed
them and I just wrote to them, which is crazy
because I looked at this email. I found it eleven
years ago. I wrote to the Daniels and it was
on March twelfth, twenty twelve, which was the day of
the Oscars that they would win Best Picture, Best Directors
(14:05):
the day. Eleven years to the day, I wrote them
and I said, I wanted to let you guys know.
You know, I loved the work that you did for
this music video was amazing. I can't stop watching it.
And as a young musician and an aspiring filmmaker, I
think you guys are awesome and I'm in this band
and I would it would mean the world to me
if you listen to this new song that we're putting
out at the end of this month, we're putting out
(14:27):
an EP. I would love to hear what you guys think.
And I found this email of that day of the
Oscars eleven years ago that they wrote me back and
they said, Hey, man, we're so glad you're into our stuff.
It's surreal to be at a place in our lives
where people are taking inspiration from us. Listen to your track.
It's really solid. Man. You guys have a cool, nice
(14:47):
throwback sound. Good luck with the release and everything. Keep
at it. And I just was tripped out by the
fact that I wrote that to them eleven years to
the day that they would win all all these awards.
So I've I've been following their career since back then,
and I think they're extremely talented and I think they
deserve everything. But I just thought that was a cool
(15:08):
little tidbit. So I've been following them. Have they made
another film or was this the first film they made.
They made a movie before this called Swiss Army Men,
starring Daniel Radcliffe and Paul Dano, and that was the
only other movie. It was a weird movie. It was
like it was like Daniel Radcliff's like a dead body
and Paul Dano's like using his body. It's so weird.
(15:30):
But that was their only other movie. But I just
remember them being extremely talented music video directors and like
their work was awesome, so it was cool to see them,
you know, win everything. I didn't particularly love the movie,
but I still thought it was you can't deny it
was super creative. It's been a few days since the Oscars,
(16:04):
and I gotta tell you, Um, obviously I went super
viral because I was really upset, and I truly was upset,
like truly truly was upset about the in memorium people
that they forgot. They forgot so many people at the
Oscars to give them their their farewell on the biggest
(16:25):
stage that you could get during the Academy Awards. And
you know, on last time on the podcast I was
talking about I didn't even realize that they didn't even
have Gilbert Godfried wasn't in there, um, which I think
is crazy. And I realized last year they forgot Bob Saggett. Yeah,
(16:45):
they forgot Bob Saggett last year, which is also crazy,
but yeah, I mean they forgot. Look, they do this
every year. There's always people that have forgotten I don't know,
and they they've stood by their decisions. They're like, you know,
look these people we can only fit into a certain
amount of time. But they live on our website. If
you go to our website, they're up here. But it's like,
(17:06):
that's horseshit. You know, they forgot Tom size More, they
forgot William Hurt, they forgot Gilbert Godfried, they forgot Paul Sorvino,
who else or you know who else they forgot. They
forgot Barbara Walters. Yo, they live on on the website.
Nobody's going to the website, you know. And now the
story about Paul Sorvino is somehow about Mirror Sorvino because
(17:30):
she tweeted something out very sweet and tasteful, and I'm like, no,
it shouldn't be about Mirror Savino. It should be about
the person who's responsible for forgetting Paul Sorvino. That's who
I want to see. I don't want this story to
be about Mirror Sorvino. I don't want the story to
be about me. I want about be about the person
who got fired for fucking up, because that's just a
(17:51):
fuck up. They don't just live on them. Oh, I'm
gonna go to the Academy Award website to do like
a deep dig on who you forgot. No, it's it's ridiculous.
They need a committee that's like dedicated to that, like
the in memorium section, not like production assistance and all
these people. But I mean, yeah, it's crazy. They forgot
(18:12):
so many people, and they always do, they always do.
But they you know, apparently they stand by their decision.
But I was shocked. I was. I noticed that too.
There were a ton of people in that in that
broadcast that just weren't included, which was super disrespectful. They've
dedicated their whole lives to their craft and to that industry.
And like I said on the last podcast, and I'm
holding your feet to the fire, Dean, if and when
(18:36):
I ever do pass away, if they forget me at
the Academy Awards, I want blood in the fucking streets.
I want bodies in the streets. I want fucking bodies
outside the Academy Award building. And I'm holding you responsible
for that. Say I will make sure that there's blood
(18:59):
in the street and bodies piled up. Say it right now.
I promise you. I will do whatever I can to
make sure that you get up in that immemorium section.
But I don't want to have anything to do with
blood on the streets, blood in the streets. I'm not
a fighter, and like, if they forget you, they forget you,
Like that's I don't know what to tell you. I
can There's only so much I could do on my
end to push that campaign for you to get in
(19:21):
that immemorium. But I mean, let's face it, if they
forgot Paul Sorvino and Anne Haje and Barbara Walters, I
have there's just like a strong inkling that I could
feel that they're probably gonna forget you. And I don't
want to be rude about it, and that's not me.
I totally would include you. I'd put you right there.
You would have been where Olivia Newton John was. It
would have opened with you, Michael Rappaport, and it would
(19:44):
have been you little motherfuck? Are you No, I'm saying
I have your back. I'm saying I have your back.
I'm just saying I just have a feeling that maybe
you'd be forgotten in that category. I hope not. I
hope that I'm completely wrong about that, But you know
that I'll I'll go to bat for you, always have always,
So what are you willing to do. You just said
you're not willing to ensure that there will be blood
(20:06):
in the streets and bodies piled up. So how far
are you willing to take things. I'm willing to hop
on the on a phone call and call the academy
or call the production assistance or the office and say, hey, like,
it'd be awesome if you can include him. But I
don't know what more I could do than that. I'm
not gonna like fucking protest on the streets about it. Wow.
(20:28):
I would hope that that I wouldn't even have to
make that phone call. I would have hoped that your
peers would would gladly accept you in that immemorium section.
But we don't need to talk about that because that's
not happening anytime soon, anytime soon, anytime soon, because I'm
only fifty two, which brings me I'm only fifty two,
but in a few days I will be fifty three.
(20:50):
I am turning fifty three years old on March twentieth.
As everybody knows, we do the podcast every year. It's
my birthday. Every year's Dean's birthday. I said the other day,
I'm not that thrilled to be the number fifty three.
It doesn't sound good because I realized my inner child
(21:11):
is still like a fourteen year old boy, and then
my brain is the brain of a ninety one year old,
flammed up, frustrated, back, aching, foot, swollen, ninety one year old.
So I'm fucked up. It's crazy because this is the
(21:33):
first day that you've mentioned that it's almost your birthday.
And I was thinking about that the other day. I
was like, oh my god, your birthday is coming up
and you haven't said a word about it, And it
was so strange to me because you've always you've mentioned
your birthday coming up, like a month prior. It'll be
like February twenty to be like, guess who's birthday is
coming up in one month, in five hours from now,
(21:53):
it's my birthday. Don't forget a gift. And it's like
it's already like it isn't a couple of days and
you haven't said a word about it. And I found
that really fascinating. And I don't know what that was about,
but you're just seeming a little bit more humble this year.
Do you have anything planned? Are you getting me a gift?
Are you bringing me a gift to Indianapolis. Because when
we're in Indianapolis at the Helium improv they four twenty fifth,
I will have been fifty three. It'll be a few
(22:16):
days after my birthday. Do you have any surprises? You
don't have to give this surprise now, but do you
have anything planned? Let's just put it that way. Do
you have anything planned that you you might want to
just sort of hint at for the week in Indianapolis.
I mean, look, I've thought about this long and hard,
and it's like, what do you get a man who
has everything? You know what I'm saying, like what you
(22:39):
have it all? You got it all? Like what do
you want? And you tell me what you want and
I will get it. And I know that kind of
defeats the purpose of like like I want to get
you something special, um, but you know it like I did.
Remember I got you that candle? Remember I got you
that candle? That one that one year? I got you
that really nice candle. Yeah you might you remember that? Though?
(23:00):
When what when was it? Was that when I moved
or was that when I turned fifty? What when was that?
That was years ago? That was Bob'm just saying that
was no that was no fucking years ago. Mom, Listen,
I don't give a fuck about what you got me
in the past. You fuck I. I'm concerned about what
you're going to get me for turning fifty three because
(23:22):
I'm not happy about it. Man, I'm not. I'm not
happy because my image, Like, I'm just starting to get
get concerned because I'm like, do you know how like
you know older men now, like you see them, they're
in their little suits, in their hats, Like, am I
supposed to just suddenly start dressing like that? Or what
do I do? Can I no longer wear Jordan's? Should
(23:42):
I hand in all my fancy kashmere? Do I not
like what am I supposed to do? How do you
dress appropriately as a fifty three year old man in
twenty twenty three? Fuck? No, man, don't don't let that
ship into your head. I think I think your fashion
sense has gotten way better than when you were fucking
in your thirties. I think you've become like somewhat of
a fashion icon. Now. People are snapping photos of you
in the row jackets and your Kashmir and Captain Kashmir
(24:04):
and King of Kashmir and all that stuff, and I
think what you're doing is great. I don't think that
you should stop any of that. I think it's inspiring
to other people. It's inspiring to someone who's in their thirties,
who's gonna be thirty three in a few months, someone
like me. I think that maybe you know, your outfits
don't change, your style doesn't change, but maybe you look
into start transitioning into different kind of acting work. You know.
(24:27):
I was thinking about that recently. It's like, you know,
a lot of famous people start going into those commercials
where they're like, you know, hey, you have dick problems.
You should try viagraa you know, like you know, when
they start doing those infomercials and things like that, for like,
your cholesterol could start going up at this age, and
I'm taking this medication, and I think that you should
take this medication. I think it's something to explore. Time out. Motherfucker.
(24:50):
I don't have no dick problems. Motherfucker. I know I'm
not saying hocking dick pills when I don't have actual
dick problems. The fuck are you talking about? I mean,
if I'm gonna do, if I'm gonna do something like
age appropriate, I'm gonna be like, hey, I wake up
and I plank. Okay, Hey, I wake up and I
do a five minute sit up routine. Do you okay?
(25:12):
I like that. I see that's that's a part of
brainstorming the ideas, you know what I mean. Like that's
that's a part of the whole thing. Like that's what
I wanted to talk to you about. Like that's that's
a much better idea than the viagra pills. I think
that doing the sit ups and the planks, like maybe
that could be your niche, you know, but I just
don't think that there's anything wrong with going down that
road at your age. Like Brian Cox from a succession,
he's doing the voice of McDonald's. You know, he says,
(25:33):
butt up, Up, up up. It's just maybe you don't
do McDonald's. Maybe you do health things. Um, maybe you
just just trying to inspire the people that, hey, at
my age, if I could, like you said, if I
can do it, you can fucking do it. Maybe those
are your commercials And now I don't think you need
to change your style. Oh man, that's that's Uh. I
(25:53):
gotta figure it out. Have you been watching anything besides
everything everywhere all at once. Have you watched any other movies,
(26:16):
any documentaries, What have you been seeing Shooter, Well, I
haven't been watching everything everywhere all at once. I only
saw that once in theaters, and I'm good on that movie.
I'm but I have been watching I've been rewatching Breaking
Bad for the third time now, going through it all.
I'm rewatching Breaking Bad, and it is so fucking incredible.
(26:38):
I just it really is. Like I know, everyone's like
the Sopranos, Breaking Bad, like it is one of the
greatest shows on TV. I mean we're like ten years past,
you know, the final episode when it came out, But god,
it's just so good. Brian Cranston, Aaron Paul. Everyone knows
about Breaking Bad. I'm on season four now, I'm almost done.
So fucking good. You watch and all the episodes, all
(27:02):
of them. This is my third time going through it,
and you know, there's there's five seasons of this, but
like it's just takeaway, Like what is your takeaway from
watching it? It's incredible. I Mean it's one of the greatest,
if not the greatest show on TV that I've ever seen.
Brian Kranson, Aaron Paul, Everyone on it is so fucking good.
It's kind of sad, like I mean, I wonder if
Aaron Paul feels like like bummed in his career that
(27:25):
he hasn't crossed over to like doing movies and stuff.
But it's like, at the same time, you don't ever
have to do anything for the rest of your life.
The guy probably made thirty million dollars on that fucking show.
I would assume he made millions on that show. But
you know all the Emmys that they want, Like, that's
a great show to be a part of. But Brian Kranston,
I mean, god, he's so fucking good. But they're amazing together.
The other thing that I'm watching, which is definitely added
(27:49):
to the sick fuck lists of documentaries. I don't know
if you've seen it, but it's called Jared from Subway.
Everybody knows Jared from Subway. Obviously when Subway was kicking
those iconic commercials with Jared holding up those fucking blue
jeans and those pants that he wore that you know
he's mister skinny guy now and he was interacting with
(28:12):
all sorts of celebrities. I mean they were saying like
it was like he was Michael Jackson at one point.
Everyone knew Jared from Subway, and obviously we know what
happened to Jared from Subway. And if you don't know
what happened to Jared from Subway and why Subway stopped
making those commercials was because he got caught with child
porn and like hooking up with children and molesting and
(28:33):
assaulting children. He's been in jail or you got like
an eighteen year jail sentence or whatever. So they're doing
this documentary on him and how this all came about.
And they have all these disturbing, disturbing audio calls and
voicemails from this woman who befriends him and then becomes
an informant for the FBI and is taking like years
(28:54):
off of her life to try and you know, get
him indicted on all these like disgusting charges and the
audio is so disturbing and it's definitely a sick fuck
watch is there's three parts. It's on Discovery Plus. That's
what I'm watching it on. But if you haven't seen it,
I recommend watching Jared from Subway. How many how many
(29:14):
episodes are there? Three parts? I think there are three parts.
I just finished part two, But it is like it's
it's disgusting. Is he is it or is it archival footage?
He's not in it now, is he? No? No, no, no,
he's in jail now. I mean, I think he gets
out in twenty twenty seven or something like that. But
I think they I think they beat the shit out
of him, like over like in the past, in the
recent years, they definitely beat the shit out of him
(29:36):
in jail. Oh, they probably gave him their six inch
snobs or their twelve inch stobs one hundred percent, and
he deserves all of it. It is really disturbing shit,
But I recommend watching that. Still watching Milf Manner with
Disco Mommy, I can't stop watching that. We and Disco Mommy,
have you experienced this? But like, I don't know if
we talked about this, but Disco Mommy and like three
(29:58):
of the other MILFs from that show, we're all in
my ms like trying to like they're they're protecting Disco Mommy.
Like I feel like I really fucked up and like
really insulted the milf community out there. Yes, I saw
that Disco Mommy and some of her cohorts were offended.
I mean, they should be so lucky that they get
mentioned by anybody, let alone the Iron Rappaport stereo podcast.
(30:20):
Some of them wanted to challenge just to a fitness competition.
Did you see that? That's what I saw. I saw
he was tagging me, and I'm like, I feel bad
for saying anything against her because I kind of wanted
to take her up on that. I haven't worked out
in like six months, and I was thinking, like, maybe
I do drive to Orange County and do some kind
of fitness routine with Disco Mommy. It doesn't sound like
a bad thing. She made it sound like a bad thing.
I'm like, I would love a free personal training session
(30:42):
and to get I'll get in the ring with Disco Mommy.
She wants to get in the ring. I'll get in
the ring with her. Do some Andy Kaufman shit. Yeah,
I mean, listen, we have nothing. We're celebrating Disco Mommy.
We're celebrating all the MILFs from Milf Manor, and we
have nothing against him. We just were taken aback by
the show when it first came on, as as is
(31:03):
everybody else. And you've continued to watch it. I haven't
continued to watch it. Where are things going on? Manner.
There was one disturbing scene, a really disturbing scene where
all the MILFs are blindfolded and they're on massage beds
and they're all next to each other, side by side,
and the kids who are all their sons. Mind you,
(31:26):
they're all their sons. Okay. All the women's children who
are like twenty and look like they're sixteen. They don't
even look like they're in their early twenties. They look
like they're sixteen, seventeen years old. All the kids have
to massage each other's mothers, and some of them are
like required to massage their own mother and and the
(31:48):
women are blindfolded, and there's like one scene where this
mom is getting massaged by her son and the son
is like, oh, this is so weird, Like in his head,
he's like kind of looking at the camera like this
is so weird, and she's like, oh yeah, yeah, baby,
Oh that feels so good. And it is. It is
so fucking disturbing. It is so disturbing. Hold on, hold on,
(32:12):
hold on. Do you know what episode number that is?
I don't know off the top of my head, but
I will absolutely try and pull that clip from you
because that has been haunting my dreams for weeks. Then
you continue to watch die. How can you not? I
mean it's like a fucking it's like a car wreck.
You can't turn away from it. That is crazy, That
is insane. And they got the nerve to be offended
(32:34):
by us breaking down their show Disco Mommy in her Chords, right, No,
it's wild ship, but they're all like, they're really horny women.
They're really horny. But yeah, it's milf Man or Monday's Man.
You gotta you gotta get on board with it. Um Finally,
I want to say, you know what I'm going through
right now, shooter. I am depression? What depression? No? Anxiety? No, no, no,
(33:02):
what are you going through? I am in a cook
a chocolate chip cookie spiral. Oh you know, I love
my chocolate chip cookies. And yeah, there's so many really
good chocolate chip cookie spots in New York City and
I'm having problems avoiding them. And I don't know what
to do because I was doing well avoiding them or
(33:24):
sort of rashing them out. But there's like, there's a
handful of really good chocolate chip cookie places in New
York that I'm having problems, you know, like I think
about them. Yeah, where are you at with your eating
and your sweets and all that? Oh my god, man,
Well I've been really I've been trying the past like
two days, and I mean it's like a it's like
a crack addict. It's like two days is like a
(33:45):
lifetime for me. That's like I'm doing really well by
doing that within two days. But the crazy thing is
is I'll like eat good for two days and I'll
lose like five pounds, Like I'll notice like I'm skinnier.
Maybe it's just like a placebo effect. But no, because
I got on the scale was one thirty five and
then two days later I was one thirty. But I
did crack yesterday. I'm the wrong person to talk to
(34:06):
about how to curb those cravings. Um I. I mean,
if it were up to me, all I would tell
you is stay away from those chocolate chip cookies on
the streets and go home and get yourself some mini
nestlely cookies and make that shit yourself. But I don't
think that's good advice because That's what I'm doing in
my It's it's like a problem. So what I do
is I have it in my refrigerator, the cookie dough,
(34:27):
and I'm like, I'm not gonna make the cookies. I'm
gonna be good, but then I end up eating all
the raw dough. So it's just it's like a fucking
you have to stay away from it for a period
of time and those cravings will disappear. All right, Well,
I appreciate that coming from somebody that is in the
throes of it. Oh and then when you, when you
and I get to Indianapolis, it's gonna be like, who
the fucking knows what's gonna happen? No? I, oh man? Who?
(34:50):
Especially when because we're not good together. It's like two
atticts together. It's like we're talking about bringing your skillet
and making your your special fried chicken. I'll leave that
at home. We can inge out on cookies over there.
It's gonna be like a fucking meth den where we
are that Airbnb with with sweets? All right, shooter, um
came saw disrupted, came Saw disrupted. We'll be in Indianapolis
(35:13):
twenty third, twenty fourth to twenty fifth. Deuce Collins Duce
Pacino aka the Rappaport Security Team, the one man security team,
will be with me all tickets. All information for all
the shows are available in Michael Rapport Comedy dot com.
Miles Jordan aka The Bleach Brothers a k a. The
Dust Brothers. Take me Autie with something real nice, Take
(35:35):
me Autie with something real out. But most importantly and this,
I am Rappaport stereo podcast with something real funky. I
am Rapports Stereo podcast Done.
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