October 21, 2025 • 48 mins
Candace Cameron Bure sits down with Jennie for a candid conversation about love, public loss and faith. From the joy (and tears) of watching her daughter get married to the lessons from her own marriage hitting rock bottom and finding new life, Candace shares moments that both gutted and shaped her. This heartfelt, inspiring episode reminds us that choosing yourself is often the key to showing up stronger for the people you love.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about
the choices we make, and today I'm joined by actress
and producer Candace Cameron Beret. It's a very exciting time
in the Beret family as they've recently had a gorgeous
wedding and we all got to have a sneak peek
of it. Candace is stepping into some exciting new projects,
including some with her grown children. In our conversation, we
(00:32):
get into it all choices we make raising our kids,
what it takes to keep a marriage strong through life's
ups and downs, and how she's preparing for her next
chapter with strength and purpose. Let's jump in with Candace
Cameron Beret. Hi, I am excited to talk to you
so well. You just watched your daughter Natasha get married. Yes,
(00:58):
I know how filled with joy and pride you must
have been when that was happening. What were you like
thinking when you're sitting there watching this happen.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I mean, it was such a beautiful day. It was
everything that they hoped it would be. It's a bit
surreal when your kids get married and it's so emotional
you know. But there were so many activities that led
up to the event. There was the bridal shower, the
(01:31):
bachelorette weekend, and so all of those markers, and then
a lot of dinners in between with his family, our family,
all kinds of things, and so a lot of words
and tears and laughs are said and shed before the
(01:51):
day of the event. So when you get to the
actual day of the ceremony, it was just it was beautiful,
and of course I cried, but I feel like I
got like the real ugly tears out before the wedding.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh good good, Yeah, I haven't done it yet, so
that's why I'm asking, like, get the tears, like advice,
get the tears out before the wedding.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, it was. It was. It was neat because Natasha
Bradley did their first look before the wedding, and like
my son didn't do that. The first time that they
saw each other was when she walked down the aisle
that day and I was there for the moment of
their first look and that's when I lost it and
(02:35):
I just I was a total mess because they were
just so sweet. It was private. I was like spying
in the bushes watching.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
It that's what we have to do sometimes as moms.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And I was just like and then you know, so
then the ceremony was just like fun and beautiful and great.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I'm so happy for you. I look forward to that
also sort of dreaded. I don't know, there's something about
like giving your daughters over to a guy and just
fingers crossed, you know, like good luck.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I know it does feel different to marry have your
son married versus your daughter, and yeah, it's it is different.
But the good thing is I have two great children
in laws. I love our daughter in law so much,
and we're so close, and love Bradley so much. He's
(03:34):
a wonderful man.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And your family's expanding before I.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Know, so it's great. I feel like, you know, we
won the lottery with our children's spouses.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You and I were both really young brides, like I was.
I think I might have been a year or two
a year older than you because you got married at twenty.
That is early, I know, but for a lot of people,
especially nowadays, did you ever feel like the urge to
sort of persuade your daughter to consider waiting a little
(04:09):
longer than you did?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh? No, not at all. I mean we loved that
we got married young, and I think that that that's
like very I guess normal. Even my parents were married
very young. My mom was nineteen to my dad. My
brother was married young. I think he was twenty or
(04:31):
twenty one. So that doesn't scare me and doesn't scare
me with our kids at this age either. And so
even at twenty seven, I was like Natasha, come on, like, oh,
it's a little a little late.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh my god, I know I have a twenty eight
year old, and I'm like, well, what's gonna happen? She
doesn't know yet either, so it's kind of like a
waiting game. But whatever is meant to be will happen, Yeah,
for sure, and it will all be great, yes, But
I'm so happy for your expanding family. You know something,
(05:07):
I think you know you are so great about being
in touch with your community that you've built on your platforms.
And I know, as somebody who is in a similar
situation to you, that there are so many positive things,
but there's something in me that will zero in on
(05:27):
the negative ones, like accidentally quote yeah, stumble upon the
one that's really nasty, or just like mean, you know,
how talk to me about how you have handled that
when you see someone commenting, commenting somebody something on your
page that's totally out of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, which I get all the time if like all
of us do in the public eye, you're always getting
you're getting trolls on there. But it's the one it's
the ones for me that I have a harder time
with when when I feel that they are genuinely well meaning,
that they really think what they're telling you is contributing
(06:12):
something positive or pointing out something that maybe you didn't know,
or you genuinely hurt their feelings because you don't understand
their perspective. Those are harder to not respond to. And
it does it when it affects when people misunderstand your
(06:33):
character and you're like, well that's I didn't mean it
that way, or well you don't know the whole picture.
You're seeing a snippet. You know. Most of the times
I just don't respond. Most of the times I just
let them go. And I'm not afraid to use my
block button when people are really mean and nasty. Why
(06:57):
you don't need that nobody wants to even read that
in the comment, you know, so happy to use that
block button and Every once in a while there will
be a comment where I will engage and say, well,
you know what, here's why I did that, or here's
why I said that, or maybe you could be more
thoughtful in sharing this information. Maybe you could privately say
it and not comment this publicly if you're really concerned
(07:21):
about me in some way, you know, and there are
nice ways to still say it. When I do respond back,
it's always in a positive way, because you know, I
don't think you're going to change anyone's mind by just
being mean back to them. If you have the same
attitude that they have towards you, then it just turns
into this fight. And I'm not having an online fight
(07:42):
with someone. No.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I have to remind myself in the heat of my
moment of wanting to be like, hey, why be so nasty,
Like what's your problem? I have to remind myself. Did
you ever watch show Catfish?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I've seen it.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So they find people that are catfishing other people, and
they go find where they're living. And I watch that
show a lot with my kids, and there's a back
house that has no windows and that's where they live.
And I always think that the person with those nasty comments.
I have to remind myself of their experience in life
(08:19):
and just like give them a little grace. Yeah, move on.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yep, Yeah, I say this all the time, and it's
that phrase. You hurt people, hurt people, hurting people hurt people,
And that's usually what it is. People get defensive, they're mean,
they're nasty, but they're having they're struggling to they're struggling themselves,
and so's the that's the best thing you could do
(08:43):
is give them grace or just ignore it and move on.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yes. Yes, so you started acting when you were eleven
five five?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh, commercials, commercials, Yes, if you do a bunch when
you were young.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
No, I've never done a commercial, I can recall.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, I did commercials from five years old until ten
once I booked full house and then and.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Then you grew up in front of the world. Yes, exactly,
and you're still growing up in front of the world.
Isn't that wild? I know, it is, like, that's not normal,
you know, it's such a weird experience. I was a
little bit older than you. I was already like seventeen
when I started, okay, but not that I had any
(09:36):
more you know, understanding of who I was in the world,
or you know, I didn't never felt you know that,
I started later because I wanted to have a more
secure life beginning. It's just the way it rolled out, right.
Did you feel like did you ever feel like you
were more apt to become a people pleaser of the
(10:00):
environment that we were put in and the pressures that
were put on us because we had to do what
we were told and we wanted the approval of our
directors and our castmates and the fans. Did you ever
fall into that pattern of like, I'm just doing things
to please everybody else?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh, totally. I'm still a people pleaser to this day.
I just know it and I recognize it, so then
I can make better decisions that aren't based on people pleasing.
But I'm a people pleaser at the core. Oh my goodness.
At one point I was talking to a friend. We
were talking about our people pleasing because he's the same way,
(10:42):
and he was like, but do you realize that's actually
not a healthy thing? And I'm like, but I really
like making people happy, Like it makes me happy to
make people happy, and I really do like all of this.
And we just got into this huge conversation that I
was like.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Well, where did you settle on it?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Then well, I walked away going really like it's a
bad thing. It is a bad thing, and it and
then it genuinely got me thinking and as I thought
about it a whole lot more and then recognized where
where the line where the difference was of really you know,
you can quote unquote say people pleasing, but as a
(11:21):
person that genuinely wants to encourage or be helpful, to
have a servants heart, like those are all good things
and qualities, but to just say yes, do what you're told,
just so that you make the other people happy, regardless
of the the effort, the energy, the tiredness, the struggle
(11:43):
that you're going through. If it's all about them, then
you're like, oh, got it that. Then there's then I
need to implement some healthy boundaries there have you have.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
You recently been able to like recognize that and then
feel comfortable in those boundaries. This is something like relatively
like in your forties that you've discovered or did it
happen sooner for you?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Probably sooner, But I'd say like in the last ten
years that I really understood how much of a people
pleaser I am and then have certainly implemented boundaries that
have become much easier over the years. I have no
problem saying no.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Good yeah that some people have a problem with that.
I know, I know, but hopefully, you know, those of
us that are talking about it and encouraging people to
like create those healthy boundaries, Hopefully it's getting you know,
it's getting more acceptable because a lot of people think
boundaries are selfish or.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
No, yeah, self serving. They're really healthy and they're good.
But I'll still tell you that I love hearing well done, Candice,
great job. Like after I've done a show or done
my podcast or you know, film something, I'm always like,
how was it? How was I want the words of affirmation,
I'm like, was it good? Did I do a good job? Okay? Great? Great?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
M I can relate because who doesn't want to feel
that yeah from somebody that you work with. You know,
I'm always one to say, great job, whatever the task was,
thank you so much. But I get what you're saying. Fully,
was there a point Has there been a point in
your life when you started to sort of tune in
(13:27):
to your life as a whole. Because you're coming up
on the fifty club, You're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
No next year, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yes you are, I'll give you early welcome. But like
at fifty, things start to shift, I think, and mentally
we start to look at things a little bit differently.
Was there a point where you're like, I now recognize
the sort of maybe not so positive aspects that being
a child star had on me as Candace.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I mean, there certainly there are some things that I
could go back and say, oh this because I was
in the industry. This definitely shaped and molded this viewpoint
or how I felt about myself. Like on my podcast
this season, we are talking all about body image, and
(14:21):
we are going through sixteen weeks of a whole body
theology and framing it from the reference of your body,
your physical body, your mental and your heart and your
soul and how the three interconnect. But so much of
(14:42):
my viewpoint as a woman today was shaped how I
was younger, and a lot of that was because I
was on television. And so there's definitely things that have
affected me over the years that I, you know, recognize,
But I'll tell you that honestly, still wouldn't change any
(15:03):
of it. Like it's why I'm still in entertainment. Today
and do what I do because I love I love
where I'm at, where I'm at today, I love all
the things that I get to do. I love the
entertainment industry at its core because I like, I'm a storyteller.
I like to do those kinds of things. So I
still wouldn't take any of it away. But do I
(15:24):
recognize that some things weren't the same as my other
friends at the time?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Of course, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I know.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Body image is a big part of it too. For me.
One of the areas where I'm like, h wow, Okay,
I didn't really recognize that until now. Yeah, now that
I do, let's work on cleaning that up, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, And that's all you can do. The good thing
is to recognize it and then be willing to put
in the work to help kind of rewire your brain.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
What do you do when you put in the work, Like,
how do you stay connected to yourself when you're busy
like you are and you're doing you know, movies back
to back and appearances and all the things, and everybody's
taken some pieces of you and time from you, and
the end of the day, you're like, Okay, what's left
for me? To take care of myself, Like, how do
(16:26):
you connect back to that core?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I mean, my my biggest connection for me, which is
the start of my day is my is my time
with God. It is prayer and worship and just staying
grounded in God's word and remind myself of who I
am in terms of who God tells me and sees me,
(16:52):
you know, He created me, and reminding myself of all
of those attributes and not what the world says that
I am or who say that I am, but who
God says that I am. And then and that helps
so much. And then at the end of the day, honestly,
my my place is just at home. I just want
to be with my husband and that he just helps
(17:16):
me disconnect and you know, we can sit and not
do anything and.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Just oh that's the best, get on the couch.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And veg and and that's how I kind of get
filled back up.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, me too, Just quiet a time at home with
my loved ones. Yeah, and we don't have to be
doing anything, yeah exactly, just that shared space that's safe
where you can actually unplug and do nothing and that's okay. Yeah,
like you all kind of want it and need it
when you're in your little house. What you talked about
(17:49):
your husband. How is it now that you have an
empty nest fully?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well, I don't, though my youngest is still at home.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Okay, me one still at home too. Yeah, so I
want to be an empty nester like we do. Part
of me thinks I should experience that like i've, like you,
got married very early, started having kids really early, gave
my life up to raising the girls and working and
keeping all juggling all the things. And there's part of
(18:20):
me that's like, wow, other people are getting to be
empty nesters, and like, I wonder what that's like, because
I don't have it fully and you don't either.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I've had it. I've had it fully have because they
and then they've come back and back. You know that
happens a lot and so and so. Currently I'm not
an empty master, but it's it's weird, man, when they're
all gone, the house is so quiet and it feels lonely.
(18:53):
Maybe if you have a pet. Do you have any
dogs or cats? Okay, that at least helps, yes, But
when all three of mine were gone, then my dog died.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
It was beautiful dog. He was so beautiful he.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Was and it was, but it was like so sad
to be at home. I'm just like, what, why? Why
is it so empty in here? You do you as
much as sometimes the hustle and bustle are the noise
and the music and the fridge opening and closing. I mean,
I have two boys and a daughter, but you know,
the fridge just never stops opening and closing. With boys
(19:28):
and you you just miss all of those sounds, you know.
And so I'm actually now that because I have experience
being an empty master. I love that Max is still
at home with us right now, and I'm kind of
at a moment of it.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I know, I'm like, you can just live here forever.
It's fine. You do a lot. You do a lot
of exercising and fitness, and I know that's really important
to you. What happens does Candice? Can remember have her
ball off the wagon when it comes to exercise?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Oh well, yes, yes? And no. I saw that you
recently had Cameron Mathison on.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Who played our love interests.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I know you've had him for several movies too, And
then we finally worked together last year and I was like, Cameron,
where have you been all my life? Like, because I've
known him for so long, but we never worked together
in a film, and anyway, we were just He's just
so easy to work with, so I've loved it. But anyway,
(20:36):
he's a fitness enthusiast and now has started his own
company in that way. But even connecting with him last
year helped me boost my fitness game even more, which
I love. That's why I brought him up. But I
definitely I've been pretty consistent for twenty years, really enjoying
(20:59):
fitness and working out. But when I am working, when
I'm filming a movie, I don't put the expectation on
myself that I can maintain my fitness regimen the way
I can when I'm not working, So fall off the wagon.
I'm like, yes, because it's intentional. I just know that
I can't keep my energy up on a fifteen sixteen
(21:20):
hour day, five days a week and get a full,
heavyweighted workout in. So you know, I just know that, Hey,
for three weeks, four weeks, I'm going to do some
very light things. I'll work out on the weekend and
I pick it right back up once it's finished.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, I feel you because you have to kind of
prioritize and yourself and your own energy and your own
like can't. I gotta get through this the best I
can and then I'll come back to that. Yeah, I
do that too. It's kind of like compartmentalizing it in
a way, but I feel like I try. It's very
challenging when you're working a lot and traveling a lot. Yeah,
(21:59):
I don't. Yeah, but I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'm I'm. I have series goals, which is why I
upped my fitness game in the last year.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Goals, what are they?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I because I really want to enter my fifties at
like peak shape, peak shape for me, and that truly
is my birthday gift to myself. So at forty eight,
I'm like, I'm starting this. I'm gonna just do what
I haven't done yet so that I can create different results.
(22:30):
And I want to enter I want to enter the
fifties feeling the best that I can feel, and hopefully
enter menopause or perimenopause. I don't really have any symptoms
of perimenopause yet, no, but I want to enter that
in the best physical shape so I have the best
experience I can possibly have. Because I hear all the stories,
(22:52):
I know how awful it can be, and I'm like,
I want to do whatever I can, so I don't
have that.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
It's not awful, it's you know, it's just something new
to deal with. So I think it's kind of a universal,
very relatable space that you're talking about. Yeah, yes, I
know that. You are talking also on your podcast about
aging m I saw recently you were talking about your neck,
(23:19):
that whole situation with yes, picking up girl.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I feel like my neck is pretty fine. Your neck looks,
which reds why I was surprised it got called out.
Your neck looks great a turtle neck on, but like,
I don't wear them often. I'm not trying to hide
my neck.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I think, oh, I wear them to hide things, trust me.
But I feel like it's kind of similar to when
I was younger. I had an actor tell me, you know,
you can really tell the age of a woman by
her elbows, and I was like, this is me and
(23:55):
my twenties.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Did you say your wenus is showing no?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
No, but he did. He made me think about something
I had never thought about, and then yeah, that's annoying internalized, like,
oh my god, another thing for me to have to
feel bad about myself as I get older my elbows,
I would think weird.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I know who would say that that's weird.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
It's weird, but it's stuck with me. So I can
imagine feeling that same way anytime. I think, when you're vulnerable,
you put yourself out there on screen in these roles,
you know, and in I've not always been that fond
of watching my work, so when I do watch it,
I'm my own worst critic. But then to have somebody
(24:41):
else over my shoulder giving me their commentary of what's
not great about me, then I'm just like next level.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah, I know, it's a strange business that we're in
and that way that people are allowed to scrutinize you,
even when it's coming from a good place. Because sometimes
like in my case, like the which was the whole
neck thing we were doing. We were doing like digital
(25:11):
effects to make me look younger. I was supposed to
look like I was thirty years old, and so that's
why it got pointed out the places they were going
to concentrate to make me look younger. So it wasn't
even it wasn't mean spirited in any way.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It was kind of like factual, Like it was factual. Yeah,
we need to deal with it on your neck.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
And your crow's feet and your foreheadlines. It was like cool,
but now I'm going to think about them all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah, thanks for that. Yeah, it's it's a tricky thing
aging in the public eye and like staying really grounded
in your love for yourself and like you your ability
to sort of shut out all the other voices.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yeah, I think I I just I think the pressure
is the worst part for me. And it's pressure from
other actors and not that they're actually putting pressure on us,
but you're just looking at, well, who's in my age range?
What do they look like? I mean, you look at
(26:17):
j Lo who's fifty what and you're like, she's gorgeous,
she's stunning, she's so beautiful. And then you're like looking
at your own wrinkles and and so there's there's this
beauty standard when you look at some people, even though
they're not talking about it. No, they're not telling you
you need to do it, but you're just looking at
(26:39):
everyone going, wow, I'm younger than them, but I look
older than them, and you recognize, well, they probably had
stuff done. Well should I do that? And if I
do do something, how far is too far? What am
I comfortable with? What's gonna you know? And then it
just it just spirals and it's all At least for me,
(26:59):
I just think about it way more than I want to,
because if I was not an actor or in the business,
like my mom's never had anything done to her face. Never,
She's seventy five and she's beautiful, and I'm like, I
want to age like my mom, And I don't think
if I were in front of the camera, I wouldn't
even think about doing things to my face. But it's
(27:21):
like the pressure feels like it's there. And then it's
my choice to say, well, I'm am I going to
allow that to dictate my choices what I see in
other people? Or am I going to age the way
that I truly desire in my heart and whatever that
way it is? And for me, I want to age naturally.
But never say never. Man, I just don't know how
(27:42):
I'm gonna feel, and one year and five years and
twenty years, I don't.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
And that's your choice, That's exactly. It's every woman should
get to do whatever she wants to do with her
body or face everything. So I feel you on that,
and it's definitely, Like the pressure is not so much
from outside, it's from inside. For me, like it's it
turns into like an inner criticism or just awareness. Yeah,
(28:13):
and then that can just kind of, like you know,
spiral around. Yeah, I know, I take you to unhealthy places.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
That that again is why I stay grounded in God's
word and who what does God say about me? And
not my own spiraling thoughts.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Because you can't trust those sometimes exactly. Your kids all
seem very happy and very well adjusted, and I from
what I can tell, they've had a wonderful upbringing, like
any any family that has such glowing things to say
(28:51):
about their mom and dad. I just noticed that they
all speak so highly of you and your husband.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
How I mean, did you and your husband from the
get go have very similar styles in how you wanted
to parent your kids or was that something you had
to kind of find Is it something you have to
revisit occasionally?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, certainly, certainly revisit occasionally. But I would say we
definitely had similar styles. I mean, we were both My
husband's not an actor, but he was a professional athlete,
and so in the same way, just like I started
working at five, he started working at four, you know,
because he was just on the ice and skating every day.
(29:36):
And so we are very disciplined people and within our
and structured people, and so that was something that translated
automatically into our parenting is how as to how we
wanted to do that, But we definitely had to find
our rhythm over the years with specific things and how
we chose to interact with each other and with our kids.
(30:00):
When we disagreed on something that was either at the
same time we disagreed or maybe you know, your child
is asking mom something, you give an answer, they don't
like it. They automatically go to dad to see if
they're going to get a different answer, and if they do,
then you're you end up being mad at your you know,
(30:21):
your husband goes why I already told them no and
you just said yes, and well I didn't know that,
and then you end up fighting, and I'm like, dude,
this is the whole this is the kid's fault.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
That's what they want.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
They got us fighting. So it's like you get put
in that situation enough times that you you you you know,
realize it and the little bell goes off. So before
you even start, we val and I would establish ground
rules Okay, here's what happens, so that they cannot manipulate us,
(30:51):
and we would have all these discussions all the time,
and I think you know, in that case, we would say, Okay,
if if one of the kids comes up and asks
can I have this cookie? The first thing that either
one of us says is did you already ask your mom?
Or did you already ask your dad? And they got
as good for it, And so we did stuff like that,
(31:14):
and so you have to keep working out the kinks,
and of course it just gets exacerbated when they are
teenagers and gets.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, I wish they were still asking if they could
have a cookie?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
No, No, But we were pretty pretty in sync with guaranteeing,
and yeah, I'm grateful for that. And we do have
a really wonderful close relationship with all of our kids.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
That's really good. And I know, like when the kids
get older and the dynamics change in the household a
little bit, maybe one maybe me, maybe you, maybe them,
I don't know, are struggling with this transitional time where
your kids are leaving and you're you know, kind of like, WHOA,
what's next? How do I handle these feelings? Marriages can
(32:02):
be really hard, especially during those times, and I would
just like be curious to know from you how do
you handle the tough times like that with your partner,
Like how do you get how do you get through?
Because you've been married for how many years? You told me,
but I can't remember twenty nine? Twenty nine years? That's
(32:23):
like an eternity. That's incredible, I know, I know what
an accomplishment.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah, I really am proud of it. So is Val.
And you know, just like most marriages, we hit some
serious speed bumps and had a couple couple of times
in our lives where we're like, mmmmm, I don't know
if we're gonna make it through this one. Yeah, I'm
(32:52):
not sure. So I'm very familiar with that. But I
will tell you that sometimes when you do see the
best marriages, meaning strong marriages, at a certain point in time,
it's because you've been through it all and you've actually
hit rock bottom in your marriage, and the only place
(33:15):
to go there is, well, you can either split or
you can build it back up in the way that
it needs to be to be successful, to be fruitful,
to be loving. But you've got to literally break it
down and like like a Potter with his clay, you know,
(33:35):
you just it goes to mush again and you're going
to rebuild from the start. And I would say that
Val and I got to that point and we.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Wait when, like how long in I'm curious because I've
been at the point too.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yeah, well twenty fifteen, between fifteen and twenty years kind
of hit the rock bottom point. And then and then
COVID really helped us. The pandemic really helped us because
(34:10):
then we were stuck in a house together.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Well, that's great that it helped you, because a lot
of people I know didn't get through it that way.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I know. And we we kind of joked, we were like,
this is either going to make us or break us.
And I'm so happy to say that it that it
made us because we we love We have such love
for each other that we we didn't want what could
have been of splitting. We really didn't want that at
the core. And so we talked through so much stuff
(34:39):
because we had nowhere to go, and I think both
of us came to a place of honesty. You know,
when it gets so honest that it's not from an
angry place, but it is just so deeply honest and
you know it's going to hurt the other person that
you want to say it.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, but that's when you have to.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
That's when you have to. And that's that's where we
got and uh, and we both were really honest in
the things that we were both feeling. And then once
we we shared those things, it was like, oh, Okay,
I can actually work with this, I can work with
this that now that I know what the problem is.
(35:21):
And and we did. We just we just kept going
and working at it. But that that, I mean, super
core deep honesty was pivotal and I think a lot
of us might not ever get there or Yeah, it's hard,
(35:42):
it's so hard.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Nobody wants to not, you know, dump that bucket out,
like they.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Don't want to dump the bucket out, and they don't
want to hear it, like I don't want to hear
all my faults, you know what I mean? Yeah, all
the things that I'm like that's annoyed you for how
many years? But you've never told me? And then you
just feel like a.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Schmuck because I think for me a lot of times
I will think things in my mind and not verbalize them. Yeah,
And so then I'll start to just carry around whatever
it is that's bugging me instead of just getting it
out and talking about it and seeing like if it
can become like some kind of funny little thing between
(36:21):
me and my husband. Are like, just shift it from
getting out of here and out onto our table. Yeah,
I think that's good.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Well, it's a lot of it's a lot of work,
but but I'm so glad that we went through that
because now I honestly I feel like we're newlyweds and
it's felt like that for the last five years, you know,
and it's just a beautiful place to be.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Well, congratulations, I mean, I know it's hard work, so
I commend you. You and I both lost friends stars,
and the world lost them too.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I will just say for myself, I had moments where
I struggled to allow my grief to do its thing
because there were so many other people jumping into the
grief of it, like because it was a you know,
famous person in both of our cases that morning from
the whole world. My friend Ian once told me, it's hard.
(37:28):
It's really hard because you just keep getting reminded right
of the loss by fans fans everywhere.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, and they want to they want to console you,
they want to make you feel better, but at the
same time, it's just like bringing it back up over
and over and over and over. Do you struggle with
getting through your grief with important people like that in
your life in a public setting.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Well, I very much relate to what Iron said and
what you just said, because I think that that was
the hardest part. And you go through your grief, you
handle it and with the people that you love around you,
and that felt like, Okay, you're going through these different stages.
I felt that I was dealing with it in a
healthy way. That felt like, Okay, you know, this is
(38:16):
how it is. But it is that constant reminder when
you're around other people and they're like, I'm so sorry
for your loss, I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh
we just love them, we love you know, and then
it doesn't stop. And I don't think I expected that part.
I mean I hadn't. That never happened to me before
until Bob passed away, So I just didn't know how
(38:37):
that would feel and what that would experience would be like.
And you know, we still get it, and I'm sure
you still get it every time we are at nineties
con or something.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It's so hard with the cast photos. It's really hard. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, I do enjoy looking at the cast photos because
it his Like Bob's face just brings me a huge smile.
It just because he was He was so funny and
he was one of my best friends and he made
me laugh so much. So when I do see his face,
you know, it's painful that there's loss, but he brought
(39:13):
me so much joy, so I can't help but not
have joy every time I see his face. But it's
more of the I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry
for your loss, Like I don't want to be reminded
that he's not here anymore, but I'm always happy to
see his face. That might not make sense, but that's
how it works in my brain.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
No, I get it. I can definitely relate because I
don't know. There's something about when people you love are gone,
like there forever, something in your mind like like you said,
it's always a good feeling, like always like you made
you laugh and you want to stay in that memory
(39:53):
of him. Yeah, but revisiting the tragedy, right, that's that
moment it is not Yeah, And also people just mean well.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
They just I was just gonna say that people they
want to connect, they want to connect with you. They
do mean so well, and it truly has grieved them
because they were public people and they they meant something
to them, and so it is. Yeah, it's just a
little bit of a strange thing that go through on
(40:25):
that level.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Right, big picture, what was one of the biggest life
choices you made that positively impacted the trajectory of your
life to where you are right now? Ooh, I'm sure
there's more than one.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
There's more than one. We used to live in Florida.
We lived there for ten years when my husband played
hockey and then he had retired, but we stayed there
for a few extra years because our kids were in
school there and they loved my kids and my husband
loved Florida. And we had moved back to LA after
(41:05):
my husband retired because I started working again and I
had something that a show that I was on for
a couple of years, and that's why we moved back.
And then there was about a year and I didn't
really do anything, and they, they being my family, were like,
(41:27):
we really want to move back to Florida, Like we
don't want to stay in LA. And I was like,
I don't want to move back to Florida. And I
really am hoping to pursue more things in my career
at this point, and everyone really wanted to go back.
And there was something so deep inside of me that
(41:48):
I'd never felt before. I kept praying about it, like, God,
it this is if you want us to move back
to Florida, let me allow me to feel peace over that.
And I just didn't. And there was just something so
deep inside of me going, no, you're just you're You're
on the precipice of something that's gonna hit, and don't
(42:09):
go back. And so it was the first time I
actually dug my heels in with my family and just said,
could you guys all give me one more year? Can
you give me one more year in La? Like that,
we'll all stay as a family. If nothing happens in
terms of I'm not back on a show or I'm
(42:30):
not back on whatever I said, then I will. I
will happily, unbegrudgingly move back to Florida and we'll go
on from there. But I'm asking, would you all give me?
Can we do one more year here? And it felt
like a really big ask as a mom. Yeah, more
than anything, because my kids were like, we love Florida,
(42:51):
we have all our friends back there. We came here
for a year, can't we go back? And so it
did feel like a selfish ask, but yet I just
knew I had to ask it, and I did and
they all said, sure, yes, we will. And then that
was the year. It wasn't soon after that that everything
(43:12):
kind of took off. Literally within a year, I went
on Dancing with the Stars, Fuller House was got picked
up by Netflix, and the trajectory just went on and
you know here. So that was a big pivotal moment
in my life.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
That's great though, to not only make that choice, you know,
be strong enough to make that choice in the in
the eyes of feeling guilty a little bit for your
kids and like feeling selfish, but then to end up
realizing that that was the right choice, Like, look, how
great everyone's doing. We're all doing great. Yeah, and I'm
(43:53):
my careers moving forward and I'm doing what I love
and yeah, it's just a good spot for you to
be in. I know you're making you make a lot
of Christmas movies, which people love. I love Christmas movies.
There's comes a time where I just want to I
just type into the search bar Christmas movies, and like
(44:14):
they'll come up from everywhere, and there's so so many.
I know, Oh, like the Amish Christmas ones get me
every time. But you you just did one, or you're
doing one with your daughter.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
I did one, I've already filmed. Yeah, I have two
new ones this year. One is with Cameron. It's a
sequel movie called Another Sweet Christmas to our movie last year.
And then I have another one with my daughter Natasha,
and it's called Timeless Tidings of Joy. And it's cool
(44:47):
because it's so it's a period piece. It's a time
travel movie, which I love. The time travel ones make
me laugh, Like I.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Who wouldn't want to time travel?
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Who doesn't want a time travel? So I go back
to nineteen forty five and I meet my grandmother as
a twenty year old, and so my grandmother's being played
by my daughter Natasha. And it's a sweet story in
that I get to understand who she is as a
(45:21):
young woman and why she made the life choices and
decisions back at that time that then affect the present day.
But that was that was a really special time to
get to spend with her and make a movie with her.
I mean, she's been an actress for more than ten years.
That's what she does. And I just had been looking
(45:43):
for a project and was like, Natasha, would you please
do a Christmas movie with me? It's like, the Christmas
movie is not her goals for her career, but I
was like, but this is what mom does and would
you please? And when we developed this story, it was
just a cool relationship. That she gets to play my
(46:05):
grandmother just felt different than being the typical oh, just
play my daughter in a movie. You know.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yeah, I think it. I mean I know people are
gonna love it. They love it when you know we
work with our kids. Yes, they do, because it's like
they get to see us how they remember us, but
in our kids.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yeah, it's really neat to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
So I hope you guys do it more. I don't
know if she'll be into more Christmas movies, but maybe
she has the bug now, maybe she's feeling Christmas.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
I don't know, we'll see. She likes the drama way
more than me.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yeah. Okay, well, Candace, before I let you go what
was your last I Choose me moment.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
I don't know how many people have said this. I
feel like I could be one of many or only
Cameron Mathison. I literally chose me at the gym this morning,
and I feel like every morning I choose me. When
I wake up and go to the gym and pump
iron before my day begins, that is like this. It
is all for me. It's all all for me, and
(47:15):
I love it and it just makes me feel really good.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Well, I don't think it's all for you, honestly. I
think that's a gift you're giving your kids and your grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Well, that's a good way, husband, got it.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
I mean that's the thing with I Choose me moments.
They always end up they can feel like it's all
me centric, but they end up benefiting the other people
in our lives. We just maybe in the moment it
feels like it's all for me, which can feel selfish.
But I don't think in your case, going to the
gym feel selfish. But I just have to counter act
(47:50):
you know that. Yeah, I think it's for your whole
family too. I feel that when I work out, like
I want to stay healthy for them as long as
I can. Yeah, I agree with that, Okay, I love it.
Inspiring for me and so many Thank you for chatting
with me today. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Thanks for having me on it was so nice.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Nice to see you you too, Bye bye
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about
the choices we make, and today I'm joined by actress
and producer Candace Cameron Beret. It's a very exciting time
in the Beret family as they've recently had a gorgeous
wedding and we all got to have a sneak peek
of it. Candace is stepping into some exciting new projects,
including some with her grown children. In our conversation, we
(00:32):
get into it all choices we make raising our kids,
what it takes to keep a marriage strong through life's
ups and downs, and how she's preparing for her next
chapter with strength and purpose. Let's jump in with Candace
Cameron Beret. Hi, I am excited to talk to you
so well. You just watched your daughter Natasha get married. Yes,
(00:58):
I know how filled with joy and pride you must
have been when that was happening. What were you like
thinking when you're sitting there watching this happen.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I mean, it was such a beautiful day. It was
everything that they hoped it would be. It's a bit
surreal when your kids get married and it's so emotional
you know. But there were so many activities that led
up to the event. There was the bridal shower, the
(01:31):
bachelorette weekend, and so all of those markers, and then
a lot of dinners in between with his family, our family,
all kinds of things, and so a lot of words
and tears and laughs are said and shed before the
(01:51):
day of the event. So when you get to the
actual day of the ceremony, it was just it was beautiful,
and of course I cried, but I feel like I
got like the real ugly tears out before the wedding.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh good good, Yeah, I haven't done it yet, so
that's why I'm asking, like, get the tears, like advice,
get the tears out before the wedding.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, it was. It was. It was neat because Natasha
Bradley did their first look before the wedding, and like
my son didn't do that. The first time that they
saw each other was when she walked down the aisle
that day and I was there for the moment of
their first look and that's when I lost it and
(02:35):
I just I was a total mess because they were
just so sweet. It was private. I was like spying
in the bushes watching.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
It that's what we have to do sometimes as moms.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
And I was just like and then you know, so
then the ceremony was just like fun and beautiful and great.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I'm so happy for you. I look forward to that
also sort of dreaded. I don't know, there's something about
like giving your daughters over to a guy and just
fingers crossed, you know, like good luck.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I know it does feel different to marry have your
son married versus your daughter, and yeah, it's it is different.
But the good thing is I have two great children
in laws. I love our daughter in law so much,
and we're so close, and love Bradley so much. He's
(03:34):
a wonderful man.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And your family's expanding before I.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Know, so it's great. I feel like, you know, we
won the lottery with our children's spouses.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You and I were both really young brides, like I was.
I think I might have been a year or two
a year older than you because you got married at twenty.
That is early, I know, but for a lot of people,
especially nowadays, did you ever feel like the urge to
sort of persuade your daughter to consider waiting a little
(04:09):
longer than you did?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh? No, not at all. I mean we loved that
we got married young, and I think that that that's
like very I guess normal. Even my parents were married
very young. My mom was nineteen to my dad. My
brother was married young. I think he was twenty or
(04:31):
twenty one. So that doesn't scare me and doesn't scare
me with our kids at this age either. And so
even at twenty seven, I was like Natasha, come on, like, oh,
it's a little a little late.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh my god, I know I have a twenty eight
year old, and I'm like, well, what's gonna happen? She
doesn't know yet either, so it's kind of like a
waiting game. But whatever is meant to be will happen, Yeah,
for sure, and it will all be great, yes, But
I'm so happy for your expanding family. You know something,
(05:07):
I think you know you are so great about being
in touch with your community that you've built on your platforms.
And I know, as somebody who is in a similar
situation to you, that there are so many positive things,
but there's something in me that will zero in on
(05:27):
the negative ones, like accidentally quote yeah, stumble upon the
one that's really nasty, or just like mean, you know,
how talk to me about how you have handled that
when you see someone commenting, commenting somebody something on your
page that's totally out of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, which I get all the time if like all
of us do in the public eye, you're always getting
you're getting trolls on there. But it's the one it's
the ones for me that I have a harder time
with when when I feel that they are genuinely well meaning,
that they really think what they're telling you is contributing
(06:12):
something positive or pointing out something that maybe you didn't know,
or you genuinely hurt their feelings because you don't understand
their perspective. Those are harder to not respond to. And
it does it when it affects when people misunderstand your
(06:33):
character and you're like, well that's I didn't mean it
that way, or well you don't know the whole picture.
You're seeing a snippet. You know. Most of the times
I just don't respond. Most of the times I just
let them go. And I'm not afraid to use my
block button when people are really mean and nasty. Why
(06:57):
you don't need that nobody wants to even read that
in the comment, you know, so happy to use that
block button and Every once in a while there will
be a comment where I will engage and say, well,
you know what, here's why I did that, or here's
why I said that, or maybe you could be more
thoughtful in sharing this information. Maybe you could privately say
it and not comment this publicly if you're really concerned
(07:21):
about me in some way, you know, and there are
nice ways to still say it. When I do respond back,
it's always in a positive way, because you know, I
don't think you're going to change anyone's mind by just
being mean back to them. If you have the same
attitude that they have towards you, then it just turns
into this fight. And I'm not having an online fight
(07:42):
with someone. No.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I have to remind myself in the heat of my
moment of wanting to be like, hey, why be so nasty,
Like what's your problem? I have to remind myself. Did
you ever watch show Catfish?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I've seen it.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So they find people that are catfishing other people, and
they go find where they're living. And I watch that
show a lot with my kids, and there's a back
house that has no windows and that's where they live.
And I always think that the person with those nasty comments.
I have to remind myself of their experience in life
(08:19):
and just like give them a little grace. Yeah, move on.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yep, Yeah, I say this all the time, and it's
that phrase. You hurt people, hurt people, hurting people hurt people,
And that's usually what it is. People get defensive, they're mean,
they're nasty, but they're having they're struggling to they're struggling themselves,
and so's the that's the best thing you could do
(08:43):
is give them grace or just ignore it and move on.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yes. Yes, so you started acting when you were eleven
five five?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh, commercials, commercials, Yes, if you do a bunch when
you were young.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
No, I've never done a commercial, I can recall.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, I did commercials from five years old until ten
once I booked full house and then and.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Then you grew up in front of the world. Yes, exactly,
and you're still growing up in front of the world.
Isn't that wild? I know, it is, like, that's not normal,
you know, it's such a weird experience. I was a
little bit older than you. I was already like seventeen
when I started, okay, but not that I had any
(09:36):
more you know, understanding of who I was in the world,
or you know, I didn't never felt you know that,
I started later because I wanted to have a more
secure life beginning. It's just the way it rolled out, right.
Did you feel like did you ever feel like you
were more apt to become a people pleaser of the
(10:00):
environment that we were put in and the pressures that
were put on us because we had to do what
we were told and we wanted the approval of our
directors and our castmates and the fans. Did you ever
fall into that pattern of like, I'm just doing things
to please everybody else?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh, totally. I'm still a people pleaser to this day.
I just know it and I recognize it, so then
I can make better decisions that aren't based on people pleasing.
But I'm a people pleaser at the core. Oh my goodness.
At one point I was talking to a friend. We
were talking about our people pleasing because he's the same way,
(10:42):
and he was like, but do you realize that's actually
not a healthy thing? And I'm like, but I really
like making people happy, Like it makes me happy to
make people happy, and I really do like all of this.
And we just got into this huge conversation that I
was like.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Well, where did you settle on it?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Then well, I walked away going really like it's a
bad thing. It is a bad thing, and it and
then it genuinely got me thinking and as I thought
about it a whole lot more and then recognized where
where the line where the difference was of really you know,
you can quote unquote say people pleasing, but as a
(11:21):
person that genuinely wants to encourage or be helpful, to
have a servants heart, like those are all good things
and qualities, but to just say yes, do what you're told,
just so that you make the other people happy, regardless
of the the effort, the energy, the tiredness, the struggle
(11:43):
that you're going through. If it's all about them, then
you're like, oh, got it that. Then there's then I
need to implement some healthy boundaries there have you have.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
You recently been able to like recognize that and then
feel comfortable in those boundaries. This is something like relatively
like in your forties that you've discovered or did it
happen sooner for you?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Probably sooner, But I'd say like in the last ten
years that I really understood how much of a people
pleaser I am and then have certainly implemented boundaries that
have become much easier over the years. I have no
problem saying no.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Good yeah that some people have a problem with that.
I know, I know, but hopefully, you know, those of
us that are talking about it and encouraging people to
like create those healthy boundaries, Hopefully it's getting you know,
it's getting more acceptable because a lot of people think
boundaries are selfish or.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
No, yeah, self serving. They're really healthy and they're good.
But I'll still tell you that I love hearing well done, Candice,
great job. Like after I've done a show or done
my podcast or you know, film something, I'm always like,
how was it? How was I want the words of affirmation,
I'm like, was it good? Did I do a good job? Okay? Great? Great?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
M I can relate because who doesn't want to feel
that yeah from somebody that you work with. You know,
I'm always one to say, great job, whatever the task was,
thank you so much. But I get what you're saying. Fully,
was there a point Has there been a point in
your life when you started to sort of tune in
(13:27):
to your life as a whole. Because you're coming up
on the fifty club, You're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
No next year, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yes you are, I'll give you early welcome. But like
at fifty, things start to shift, I think, and mentally
we start to look at things a little bit differently.
Was there a point where you're like, I now recognize
the sort of maybe not so positive aspects that being
a child star had on me as Candace.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I mean, there certainly there are some things that I
could go back and say, oh this because I was
in the industry. This definitely shaped and molded this viewpoint
or how I felt about myself. Like on my podcast
this season, we are talking all about body image, and
(14:21):
we are going through sixteen weeks of a whole body
theology and framing it from the reference of your body,
your physical body, your mental and your heart and your
soul and how the three interconnect. But so much of
(14:42):
my viewpoint as a woman today was shaped how I
was younger, and a lot of that was because I
was on television. And so there's definitely things that have
affected me over the years that I, you know, recognize,
But I'll tell you that honestly, still wouldn't change any
(15:03):
of it. Like it's why I'm still in entertainment. Today
and do what I do because I love I love
where I'm at, where I'm at today, I love all
the things that I get to do. I love the
entertainment industry at its core because I like, I'm a storyteller.
I like to do those kinds of things. So I
still wouldn't take any of it away. But do I
(15:24):
recognize that some things weren't the same as my other
friends at the time?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Of course, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I know.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Body image is a big part of it too. For me.
One of the areas where I'm like, h wow, Okay,
I didn't really recognize that until now. Yeah, now that
I do, let's work on cleaning that up, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, And that's all you can do. The good thing
is to recognize it and then be willing to put
in the work to help kind of rewire your brain.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
What do you do when you put in the work, Like,
how do you stay connected to yourself when you're busy
like you are and you're doing you know, movies back
to back and appearances and all the things, and everybody's
taken some pieces of you and time from you, and
the end of the day, you're like, Okay, what's left
for me? To take care of myself, Like, how do
(16:26):
you connect back to that core?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I mean, my my biggest connection for me, which is
the start of my day is my is my time
with God. It is prayer and worship and just staying
grounded in God's word and remind myself of who I
am in terms of who God tells me and sees me,
(16:52):
you know, He created me, and reminding myself of all
of those attributes and not what the world says that
I am or who say that I am, but who
God says that I am. And then and that helps
so much. And then at the end of the day, honestly,
my my place is just at home. I just want
to be with my husband and that he just helps
(17:16):
me disconnect and you know, we can sit and not
do anything and.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Just oh that's the best, get on the couch.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And veg and and that's how I kind of get
filled back up.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, me too, Just quiet a time at home with
my loved ones. Yeah, and we don't have to be
doing anything, yeah exactly, just that shared space that's safe
where you can actually unplug and do nothing and that's okay. Yeah,
like you all kind of want it and need it
when you're in your little house. What you talked about
(17:49):
your husband. How is it now that you have an
empty nest fully?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well, I don't, though my youngest is still at home.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Okay, me one still at home too. Yeah, so I
want to be an empty nester like we do. Part
of me thinks I should experience that like i've, like you,
got married very early, started having kids really early, gave
my life up to raising the girls and working and
keeping all juggling all the things. And there's part of
(18:20):
me that's like, wow, other people are getting to be
empty nesters, and like, I wonder what that's like, because
I don't have it fully and you don't either.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I've had it. I've had it fully have because they
and then they've come back and back. You know that
happens a lot and so and so. Currently I'm not
an empty master, but it's it's weird, man, when they're
all gone, the house is so quiet and it feels lonely.
(18:53):
Maybe if you have a pet. Do you have any
dogs or cats? Okay, that at least helps, yes, But
when all three of mine were gone, then my dog died.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
It was beautiful dog. He was so beautiful he.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Was and it was, but it was like so sad
to be at home. I'm just like, what, why? Why
is it so empty in here? You do you as
much as sometimes the hustle and bustle are the noise
and the music and the fridge opening and closing. I mean,
I have two boys and a daughter, but you know,
the fridge just never stops opening and closing. With boys
(19:28):
and you you just miss all of those sounds, you know.
And so I'm actually now that because I have experience
being an empty master. I love that Max is still
at home with us right now, and I'm kind of
at a moment of it.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I know, I'm like, you can just live here forever.
It's fine. You do a lot. You do a lot
of exercising and fitness, and I know that's really important
to you. What happens does Candice? Can remember have her
ball off the wagon when it comes to exercise?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Oh well, yes, yes? And no. I saw that you
recently had Cameron Mathison on.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Who played our love interests.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I know you've had him for several movies too, And
then we finally worked together last year and I was like, Cameron,
where have you been all my life? Like, because I've
known him for so long, but we never worked together
in a film, and anyway, we were just He's just
so easy to work with, so I've loved it. But anyway,
(20:36):
he's a fitness enthusiast and now has started his own
company in that way. But even connecting with him last
year helped me boost my fitness game even more, which
I love. That's why I brought him up. But I
definitely I've been pretty consistent for twenty years, really enjoying
(20:59):
fitness and working out. But when I am working, when
I'm filming a movie, I don't put the expectation on
myself that I can maintain my fitness regimen the way
I can when I'm not working, So fall off the wagon.
I'm like, yes, because it's intentional. I just know that
I can't keep my energy up on a fifteen sixteen
(21:20):
hour day, five days a week and get a full,
heavyweighted workout in. So you know, I just know that, Hey,
for three weeks, four weeks, I'm going to do some
very light things. I'll work out on the weekend and
I pick it right back up once it's finished.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, I feel you because you have to kind of
prioritize and yourself and your own energy and your own
like can't. I gotta get through this the best I
can and then I'll come back to that. Yeah, I
do that too. It's kind of like compartmentalizing it in
a way, but I feel like I try. It's very
challenging when you're working a lot and traveling a lot. Yeah,
(21:59):
I don't. Yeah, but I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'm I'm. I have series goals, which is why I
upped my fitness game in the last year.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Goals, what are they?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
I because I really want to enter my fifties at
like peak shape, peak shape for me, and that truly
is my birthday gift to myself. So at forty eight,
I'm like, I'm starting this. I'm gonna just do what
I haven't done yet so that I can create different results.
(22:30):
And I want to enter I want to enter the
fifties feeling the best that I can feel, and hopefully
enter menopause or perimenopause. I don't really have any symptoms
of perimenopause yet, no, but I want to enter that
in the best physical shape so I have the best
experience I can possibly have. Because I hear all the stories,
(22:52):
I know how awful it can be, and I'm like,
I want to do whatever I can, so I don't
have that.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
It's not awful, it's you know, it's just something new
to deal with. So I think it's kind of a universal,
very relatable space that you're talking about. Yeah, yes, I
know that. You are talking also on your podcast about
aging m I saw recently you were talking about your neck,
(23:19):
that whole situation with yes, picking up girl.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I feel like my neck is pretty fine. Your neck looks,
which reds why I was surprised it got called out.
Your neck looks great a turtle neck on, but like,
I don't wear them often. I'm not trying to hide
my neck.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I think, oh, I wear them to hide things, trust me.
But I feel like it's kind of similar to when
I was younger. I had an actor tell me, you know,
you can really tell the age of a woman by
her elbows, and I was like, this is me and
(23:55):
my twenties.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Did you say your wenus is showing no?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
No, but he did. He made me think about something
I had never thought about, and then yeah, that's annoying internalized, like,
oh my god, another thing for me to have to
feel bad about myself as I get older my elbows,
I would think weird.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I know who would say that that's weird.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
It's weird, but it's stuck with me. So I can
imagine feeling that same way anytime. I think, when you're vulnerable,
you put yourself out there on screen in these roles,
you know, and in I've not always been that fond
of watching my work, so when I do watch it,
I'm my own worst critic. But then to have somebody
(24:41):
else over my shoulder giving me their commentary of what's
not great about me, then I'm just like next level.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah, I know, it's a strange business that we're in
and that way that people are allowed to scrutinize you,
even when it's coming from a good place. Because sometimes
like in my case, like the which was the whole
neck thing we were doing. We were doing like digital
(25:11):
effects to make me look younger. I was supposed to
look like I was thirty years old, and so that's
why it got pointed out the places they were going
to concentrate to make me look younger. So it wasn't
even it wasn't mean spirited in any way.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It was kind of like factual, Like it was factual. Yeah,
we need to deal with it on your neck.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
And your crow's feet and your foreheadlines. It was like cool,
but now I'm going to think about them all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah, thanks for that. Yeah, it's it's a tricky thing
aging in the public eye and like staying really grounded
in your love for yourself and like you your ability
to sort of shut out all the other voices.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yeah, I think I I just I think the pressure
is the worst part for me. And it's pressure from
other actors and not that they're actually putting pressure on us,
but you're just looking at, well, who's in my age range?
What do they look like? I mean, you look at
(26:17):
j Lo who's fifty what and you're like, she's gorgeous,
she's stunning, she's so beautiful. And then you're like looking
at your own wrinkles and and so there's there's this
beauty standard when you look at some people, even though
they're not talking about it. No, they're not telling you
you need to do it, but you're just looking at
(26:39):
everyone going, wow, I'm younger than them, but I look
older than them, and you recognize, well, they probably had
stuff done. Well should I do that? And if I
do do something, how far is too far? What am
I comfortable with? What's gonna you know? And then it
just it just spirals and it's all At least for me,
(26:59):
I just think about it way more than I want to,
because if I was not an actor or in the business,
like my mom's never had anything done to her face. Never,
She's seventy five and she's beautiful, and I'm like, I
want to age like my mom, And I don't think
if I were in front of the camera, I wouldn't
even think about doing things to my face. But it's
(27:21):
like the pressure feels like it's there. And then it's
my choice to say, well, I'm am I going to
allow that to dictate my choices what I see in
other people? Or am I going to age the way
that I truly desire in my heart and whatever that
way it is? And for me, I want to age naturally.
But never say never. Man, I just don't know how
(27:42):
I'm gonna feel, and one year and five years and
twenty years, I don't.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
And that's your choice, That's exactly. It's every woman should
get to do whatever she wants to do with her
body or face everything. So I feel you on that,
and it's definitely, Like the pressure is not so much
from outside, it's from inside. For me, like it's it
turns into like an inner criticism or just awareness. Yeah,
(28:13):
and then that can just kind of, like you know,
spiral around. Yeah, I know, I take you to unhealthy places.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
That that again is why I stay grounded in God's
word and who what does God say about me? And
not my own spiraling thoughts.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Because you can't trust those sometimes exactly. Your kids all
seem very happy and very well adjusted, and I from
what I can tell, they've had a wonderful upbringing, like
any any family that has such glowing things to say
(28:51):
about their mom and dad. I just noticed that they
all speak so highly of you and your husband.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
How I mean, did you and your husband from the
get go have very similar styles in how you wanted
to parent your kids or was that something you had
to kind of find Is it something you have to
revisit occasionally?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, certainly, certainly revisit occasionally. But I would say we
definitely had similar styles. I mean, we were both My
husband's not an actor, but he was a professional athlete,
and so in the same way, just like I started
working at five, he started working at four, you know,
because he was just on the ice and skating every day.
(29:36):
And so we are very disciplined people and within our
and structured people, and so that was something that translated
automatically into our parenting is how as to how we
wanted to do that, But we definitely had to find
our rhythm over the years with specific things and how
we chose to interact with each other and with our kids.
(30:00):
When we disagreed on something that was either at the
same time we disagreed or maybe you know, your child
is asking mom something, you give an answer, they don't
like it. They automatically go to dad to see if
they're going to get a different answer, and if they do,
then you're you end up being mad at your you know,
(30:21):
your husband goes why I already told them no and
you just said yes, and well I didn't know that,
and then you end up fighting, and I'm like, dude,
this is the whole this is the kid's fault.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
That's what they want.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
They got us fighting. So it's like you get put
in that situation enough times that you you you you know,
realize it and the little bell goes off. So before
you even start, we val and I would establish ground
rules Okay, here's what happens, so that they cannot manipulate us,
(30:51):
and we would have all these discussions all the time,
and I think you know, in that case, we would say, Okay,
if if one of the kids comes up and asks
can I have this cookie? The first thing that either
one of us says is did you already ask your mom?
Or did you already ask your dad? And they got
as good for it, And so we did stuff like that,
(31:14):
and so you have to keep working out the kinks,
and of course it just gets exacerbated when they are
teenagers and gets.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, I wish they were still asking if they could
have a cookie?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
No, No, But we were pretty pretty in sync with guaranteeing,
and yeah, I'm grateful for that. And we do have
a really wonderful close relationship with all of our kids.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
That's really good. And I know, like when the kids
get older and the dynamics change in the household a
little bit, maybe one maybe me, maybe you, maybe them,
I don't know, are struggling with this transitional time where
your kids are leaving and you're you know, kind of like, WHOA,
what's next? How do I handle these feelings? Marriages can
(32:02):
be really hard, especially during those times, and I would
just like be curious to know from you how do
you handle the tough times like that with your partner,
Like how do you get how do you get through?
Because you've been married for how many years? You told me,
but I can't remember twenty nine? Twenty nine years? That's
(32:23):
like an eternity. That's incredible, I know, I know what
an accomplishment.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah, I really am proud of it. So is Val.
And you know, just like most marriages, we hit some
serious speed bumps and had a couple couple of times
in our lives where we're like, mmmmm, I don't know
if we're gonna make it through this one. Yeah, I'm
(32:52):
not sure. So I'm very familiar with that. But I
will tell you that sometimes when you do see the
best marriages, meaning strong marriages, at a certain point in time,
it's because you've been through it all and you've actually
hit rock bottom in your marriage, and the only place
(33:15):
to go there is, well, you can either split or
you can build it back up in the way that
it needs to be to be successful, to be fruitful,
to be loving. But you've got to literally break it
down and like like a Potter with his clay, you know,
(33:35):
you just it goes to mush again and you're going
to rebuild from the start. And I would say that
Val and I got to that point and we.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Wait when, like how long in I'm curious because I've
been at the point too.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yeah, well twenty fifteen, between fifteen and twenty years kind
of hit the rock bottom point. And then and then
COVID really helped us. The pandemic really helped us because
(34:10):
then we were stuck in a house together.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Well, that's great that it helped you, because a lot
of people I know didn't get through it that way.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
I know. And we we kind of joked, we were like,
this is either going to make us or break us.
And I'm so happy to say that it that it
made us because we we love We have such love
for each other that we we didn't want what could
have been of splitting. We really didn't want that at
the core. And so we talked through so much stuff
(34:39):
because we had nowhere to go, and I think both
of us came to a place of honesty. You know,
when it gets so honest that it's not from an
angry place, but it is just so deeply honest and
you know it's going to hurt the other person that
you want to say it.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, but that's when you have to.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
That's when you have to. And that's that's where we
got and uh, and we both were really honest in
the things that we were both feeling. And then once
we we shared those things, it was like, oh, Okay,
I can actually work with this, I can work with
this that now that I know what the problem is.
(35:21):
And and we did. We just we just kept going
and working at it. But that that, I mean, super
core deep honesty was pivotal and I think a lot
of us might not ever get there or Yeah, it's hard,
(35:42):
it's so hard.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Nobody wants to not, you know, dump that bucket out,
like they.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Don't want to dump the bucket out, and they don't
want to hear it, like I don't want to hear
all my faults, you know what I mean? Yeah, all
the things that I'm like that's annoyed you for how
many years? But you've never told me? And then you
just feel like a.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Schmuck because I think for me a lot of times
I will think things in my mind and not verbalize them. Yeah,
And so then I'll start to just carry around whatever
it is that's bugging me instead of just getting it
out and talking about it and seeing like if it
can become like some kind of funny little thing between
(36:21):
me and my husband. Are like, just shift it from
getting out of here and out onto our table. Yeah,
I think that's good.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Well, it's a lot of it's a lot of work,
but but I'm so glad that we went through that
because now I honestly I feel like we're newlyweds and
it's felt like that for the last five years, you know,
and it's just a beautiful place to be.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Well, congratulations, I mean, I know it's hard work, so
I commend you. You and I both lost friends stars,
and the world lost them too.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I will just say for myself, I had moments where
I struggled to allow my grief to do its thing
because there were so many other people jumping into the
grief of it, like because it was a you know,
famous person in both of our cases that morning from
the whole world. My friend Ian once told me, it's hard.
(37:28):
It's really hard because you just keep getting reminded right
of the loss by fans fans everywhere.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, and they want to they want to console you,
they want to make you feel better, but at the
same time, it's just like bringing it back up over
and over and over and over. Do you struggle with
getting through your grief with important people like that in
your life in a public setting.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Well, I very much relate to what Iron said and
what you just said, because I think that that was
the hardest part. And you go through your grief, you
handle it and with the people that you love around you,
and that felt like, Okay, you're going through these different stages.
I felt that I was dealing with it in a
healthy way. That felt like, Okay, you know, this is
(38:16):
how it is. But it is that constant reminder when
you're around other people and they're like, I'm so sorry
for your loss, I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh
we just love them, we love you know, and then
it doesn't stop. And I don't think I expected that part.
I mean I hadn't. That never happened to me before
until Bob passed away, So I just didn't know how
(38:37):
that would feel and what that would experience would be like.
And you know, we still get it, and I'm sure
you still get it every time we are at nineties
con or something.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
It's so hard with the cast photos. It's really hard. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, I do enjoy looking at the cast photos because
it his Like Bob's face just brings me a huge smile.
It just because he was He was so funny and
he was one of my best friends and he made
me laugh so much. So when I do see his face,
you know, it's painful that there's loss, but he brought
(39:13):
me so much joy, so I can't help but not
have joy every time I see his face. But it's
more of the I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry
for your loss, Like I don't want to be reminded
that he's not here anymore, but I'm always happy to
see his face. That might not make sense, but that's
how it works in my brain.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
No, I get it. I can definitely relate because I
don't know. There's something about when people you love are gone,
like there forever, something in your mind like like you said,
it's always a good feeling, like always like you made
you laugh and you want to stay in that memory
(39:53):
of him. Yeah, but revisiting the tragedy, right, that's that
moment it is not Yeah, And also people just mean well.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
They just I was just gonna say that people they
want to connect, they want to connect with you. They
do mean so well, and it truly has grieved them
because they were public people and they they meant something
to them, and so it is. Yeah, it's just a
little bit of a strange thing that go through on
(40:25):
that level.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Right, big picture, what was one of the biggest life
choices you made that positively impacted the trajectory of your
life to where you are right now? Ooh, I'm sure
there's more than one.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
There's more than one. We used to live in Florida.
We lived there for ten years when my husband played
hockey and then he had retired, but we stayed there
for a few extra years because our kids were in
school there and they loved my kids and my husband
loved Florida. And we had moved back to LA after
(41:05):
my husband retired because I started working again and I
had something that a show that I was on for
a couple of years, and that's why we moved back.
And then there was about a year and I didn't
really do anything, and they, they being my family, were like,
(41:27):
we really want to move back to Florida, Like we
don't want to stay in LA. And I was like,
I don't want to move back to Florida. And I
really am hoping to pursue more things in my career
at this point, and everyone really wanted to go back.
And there was something so deep inside of me that
(41:48):
I'd never felt before. I kept praying about it, like, God,
it this is if you want us to move back
to Florida, let me allow me to feel peace over that.
And I just didn't. And there was just something so
deep inside of me going, no, you're just you're You're
on the precipice of something that's gonna hit, and don't
(42:09):
go back. And so it was the first time I
actually dug my heels in with my family and just said,
could you guys all give me one more year? Can
you give me one more year in La? Like that,
we'll all stay as a family. If nothing happens in
terms of I'm not back on a show or I'm
(42:30):
not back on whatever I said, then I will. I
will happily, unbegrudgingly move back to Florida and we'll go
on from there. But I'm asking, would you all give me?
Can we do one more year here? And it felt
like a really big ask as a mom. Yeah, more
than anything, because my kids were like, we love Florida,
(42:51):
we have all our friends back there. We came here
for a year, can't we go back? And so it
did feel like a selfish ask, but yet I just
knew I had to ask it, and I did and
they all said, sure, yes, we will. And then that
was the year. It wasn't soon after that that everything
(43:12):
kind of took off. Literally within a year, I went
on Dancing with the Stars, Fuller House was got picked
up by Netflix, and the trajectory just went on and
you know here. So that was a big pivotal moment
in my life.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
That's great though, to not only make that choice, you know,
be strong enough to make that choice in the in
the eyes of feeling guilty a little bit for your
kids and like feeling selfish, but then to end up
realizing that that was the right choice, Like, look, how
great everyone's doing. We're all doing great. Yeah, and I'm
(43:53):
my careers moving forward and I'm doing what I love
and yeah, it's just a good spot for you to
be in. I know you're making you make a lot
of Christmas movies, which people love. I love Christmas movies.
There's comes a time where I just want to I
just type into the search bar Christmas movies, and like
(44:14):
they'll come up from everywhere, and there's so so many.
I know, Oh, like the Amish Christmas ones get me
every time. But you you just did one, or you're
doing one with your daughter.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
I did one, I've already filmed. Yeah, I have two
new ones this year. One is with Cameron. It's a
sequel movie called Another Sweet Christmas to our movie last year.
And then I have another one with my daughter Natasha,
and it's called Timeless Tidings of Joy. And it's cool
(44:47):
because it's so it's a period piece. It's a time
travel movie, which I love. The time travel ones make
me laugh, Like I.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Who wouldn't want to time travel?
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Who doesn't want a time travel? So I go back
to nineteen forty five and I meet my grandmother as
a twenty year old, and so my grandmother's being played
by my daughter Natasha. And it's a sweet story in
that I get to understand who she is as a
(45:21):
young woman and why she made the life choices and
decisions back at that time that then affect the present day.
But that was that was a really special time to
get to spend with her and make a movie with her.
I mean, she's been an actress for more than ten years.
That's what she does. And I just had been looking
(45:43):
for a project and was like, Natasha, would you please
do a Christmas movie with me? It's like, the Christmas
movie is not her goals for her career, but I
was like, but this is what mom does and would
you please? And when we developed this story, it was
just a cool relationship. That she gets to play my
(46:05):
grandmother just felt different than being the typical oh, just
play my daughter in a movie. You know.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yeah, I think it. I mean I know people are
gonna love it. They love it when you know we
work with our kids. Yes, they do, because it's like
they get to see us how they remember us, but
in our kids.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yeah, it's really neat to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
So I hope you guys do it more. I don't
know if she'll be into more Christmas movies, but maybe
she has the bug now, maybe she's feeling Christmas.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
I don't know, we'll see. She likes the drama way
more than me.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yeah. Okay, well, Candace, before I let you go what
was your last I Choose me moment.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
I don't know how many people have said this. I
feel like I could be one of many or only
Cameron Mathison. I literally chose me at the gym this morning,
and I feel like every morning I choose me. When
I wake up and go to the gym and pump
iron before my day begins, that is like this. It
is all for me. It's all all for me, and
(47:15):
I love it and it just makes me feel really good.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Well, I don't think it's all for you, honestly. I
think that's a gift you're giving your kids and your grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Well, that's a good way, husband, got it.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
I mean that's the thing with I Choose me moments.
They always end up they can feel like it's all
me centric, but they end up benefiting the other people
in our lives. We just maybe in the moment it
feels like it's all for me, which can feel selfish.
But I don't think in your case, going to the
gym feel selfish. But I just have to counter act
(47:50):
you know that. Yeah, I think it's for your whole
family too. I feel that when I work out, like
I want to stay healthy for them as long as
I can. Yeah, I agree with that, Okay, I love it.
Inspiring for me and so many Thank you for chatting
with me today. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Thanks for having me on it was so nice.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Nice to see you you too, Bye bye
Host
Jennie Garth
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