September 16, 2025 • 44 mins
On this week’s episode, Jennie chats with Chrissy Metz, actress, singer, author, and all-around light. Chrissy opens up about her powerful role in The Hunting Wives, the lessons she’s learned about boundaries and navigating her strong people-pleasing leanings.
This is a candid conversation about resilience, grace and why self-love is never selfish.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me, a podcast about choices. Today,
I'm joined by Chrissy Mets, actress, singer, and author. Of
course you know her from This Is Us, But get ready,
she chose a new role a ferocious mama bear and
the wildly addictive series The Hunting Wives. Okay, you guys,
(00:32):
this show is so full of secrets and spice. You
gotta watch it. Chrissy opens up about preparing for darker
roles and finally finding her stride with personal boundaries. You're
going to love my new friend, Chrissy Mets. Hi, Hi,
they're beautiful.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Were you?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I'm great, it's so nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It's so nice to meet you. I'm like, Wow, I'm
glad that we're doing it, even if it's on zoom.
I'm like, just so you know me too.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh my gosh, you are having some kind of a moment, lady.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
You know, I think people think that, but it's just
the timing, like everything, Yeah, you know, how it goes.
It's like nothing and for famine, it's like and then
optically it looks like, oh my goodness, like and it's
great and it's wonderful, and I'm grateful because so many people,
as you know, it takes a village. I mean, I
(01:30):
listen to have a job, people to have a job,
but I think it looks one way, you know, to
the to the world. And then I'm like, oh, there's
the reality.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
So of course, well, yeah, I mean I get it.
To have a job is just the best feeling.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah. Well, you know, I always say that we're in
the business of rejection, and I'm like, why did I
how there's something to that, Chrissy, you did this on purpose?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, we must like it.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, I think for me it's like a self fulfilling
prophecy where I'm like, well, nobody's going to choose me,
and so why didn't I get into a business world?
I'll never feel chosen?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh my god, that's the whole point of this podcast.
Guess what you have to choose yourself exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
And I wasn't even like, you know, prepping that segue, but.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I know, but yeah, I loved it. Well, let's just
talk about The Hunting Wives. Yes, I had not watched
it until last night, and then I started binging, of course,
because I wanted to see what everyone was talking, what
everyone was talking about, and I wanted to see your
performance and I wanted to see your character so we
could really talk about it. And I was it's fun.
(02:37):
It's a really fun show to watch.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, it's I always try to preface with I don't
know that. I'd watch it with my mom and watch
that she has little boy, yes, and you know she's
she said, five kids, so like she knows how the
world works. But like seeing you know, and when we
read it, it's so different than it coming to life
(03:02):
and an actual television. You know, you're right.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
What did you think when you read like, let's just
be specific, like all the sex, there's just sex all
the time.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Well, I was like, oh, thank goodness, I don't have
to do it.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
But your first thought, though, I'm like, would just be
the you know, very sweet kind who's just trying to
fight for her daughter.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I'm like, oh, because you know, as you know, no
matter what we do, it's going to come with thoughts, opinions, criticism,
and luckily with Starr in particular, the role that I played,
I I know that woman. My mom was a single mom.
I grew up in the South. Like it felt good
to also champion women like that and to also know
(03:47):
that those stories get to be told, and also that
this woman's not going to roll over and just let
these people treat her any kind of way.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I mean, I don't know if there's anybody do you
think there's anybody that hasn't seen it at this point?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
What happened? Yet? I'm sorry? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
What?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
What would you summarize the show as, like in your mind?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah? Well, I think in my mind it is, uh,
you know, a group of ladies who are you know,
I like to look at all the good in people,
you know, so I'm like, oh, these are troubled women
who are searching for something, and each of us have
something that we want. And so, you know, I think
with Sophie Britney Snow's character, you know, everyone's like, she's
(04:34):
so crazy. How in the world is she gonna let
this woman Margo, who yes Ackerman plays, how she gonna
let this woman just like take her down and like
make her do all that? And I'm like, this is
a broken woman who feels sorry for herself. She's run
over someone and killed them in her prior life in Boston,
Like stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Is going on, you know, and so I'm deeply yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, trouble, trouble, and then poor you know Mallin's character, Margo.
I mean, she's been fighting for her life, her whole life.
You know, her mom left them literally like fending for
themselves in a trailer park, trying to you know, bamboozo
people for money so they could pay the rent. But
you know, everybody's got something, you know, Poor Jill, she's
(05:18):
you know, doesn't have a great relationship with their pastor husband,
but they have to keep it together for the optics
of the church. You know, there's just a lot going on,
and I think that's where people enjoy it, whether they're like,
oh I can't relate at all, or oh someone's better
off or better than me. Oh, like there's just something
in it for everyone, and it's you know, obviously salacious fun. Yeah,
(05:41):
it's fun, like yeah, you know, I don't think it
takes itself too seriously, which is nice. But then I
feel like with Starr, I'm so grateful to play her
because I feel like she sort of grounded you know,
these women who you know, might be making decisions that
aren't the best and not that Starr makes a decision
that you know, leads to her demise that is not
(06:03):
the best.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
But wait, don't spoil it because I haven't watched the finale,
the last episode. Were you about to tell me, I'm
not saying a word.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Just give me another give me another few hours.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, okay, perfect, you're busy. But yeah, I just I
think that it's so hard to summarize, you know, the show.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
But well, let's talk about your character, because you just
told me that you're from the South. You know this character,
you know this person. I believed that because when I
was watching you, you felt very natural, very real, and
you know, I it makes sense now that you say
that that that you're from the South. That was your mom,
you know, and I feel it when your character comes
(06:47):
on screen, and I was I was wondering, like, are
do you think that the rest of the group of
women or the people in the show are depicted accurately
for that kind of environment? Where's it?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Hell?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Is it in Dallas?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's set in Tyler, Texas, which is Tyler, Texas. But
you know, I like run to the comments because I
do want to see what people are saying, because obviously
I didn't grow up in Tyler, Texas. But I grew
up in the South, and Texas is very different from
Florida North Florida. But a lot of people were, you know,
ragging on the wigs and They're like what And then
people would say, oh, no, this is what women are,
(07:24):
like like, this is what they wear and these are
the wigs. And I was like, oh, okay, you know,
so that you're like, oh, okay, they got it right.
You know. I think that again, everybody's always going to
have an opinion, but I think that as far as
perhaps the stereotype, you know, there's some truth into stereotypes,
(07:45):
for better or for worse. So I do think that
some people felt like, oh, they got this right.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah, it feels right. It feels like I'm transported to
this lifestyle. Yeah, which is very like I feel like
I'm Brittany's character because you're like, wow, what and where
have I? What have I stepped into?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah? You don't work your wife?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Oh yeah, wow, that sounds cool, but you really had
to kind of step into a much darker place for
this role.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Then maybe you have before, maybe not, but this was
I mean I was watching and I was thinking, Wow,
it's so great to see her. She has a teenage daughter.
I can really relate to, like that relationship that was
happening when she was upset about the boyfriend and kind
of really shut you out, and she was rude to you,
(08:39):
and I was feeling for you as a mom, and
then that what happened to your daughter happened. I don't
want to spoil it for anyone either, right, And then
I was like, oh my god, this poor lady.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, and here are these people. Yeah, her as like
a political side piece to like at.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Your at the vision of your daughter. The guy says,
I'm going to run for a governor.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Now's the time, jed, now's the time. Who Durmatt played
and who I love? He's so wonderful. I'm like, you
played such a jerk. You played it well, but I
know it's you know, And anybody who feels marginalized, I
think can relate to Star's character. And I definitely feel
like I always relate to the underdog. I sort of
(09:25):
felt that way in my family. I felt that way
growing up. I felt the way being a big girl
from a small town moving to LA So that is
deeply within the empathy for me. So I can feel it. Yeah,
Oh well, thank you. And it's funny because all the girls,
of course, are so wonderful, but I remember like being
in a scene and they're all like, you know, dressed
(09:47):
to the nines and cute and polished and all that,
and I'm just looking over there like, oh, this is
only going to help my performance, this is only going
to help me perform. But you feel like an outsider.
You feel like an outcast. And you're like, yeah, you know,
she's blast size girls. She's you know, she wears clothes
probably from affordable places and just can't even afford a
(10:07):
pair of boots for her poor daughters, you know, hiking
trip and there's a lot in that. And you know,
I'm not never been a parent. I have a dog,
but I have ten nieces and nephews. And even when
I'm like, oh, I want to like get them something,
you know, I want to go on a trip with them,
or go on a field trip, and I can't, it's like, oh,
(10:30):
you feel like you failed, you know, And I'm just
an aunt. I can't imagine as a parent, you know,
it must be so so difficult.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It is challenging. But being a dog mom is challenging too.
My dog, Yeah, they keep me on my toes.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, how many do you have right now?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Three?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Okay? Did you have before?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah? Five at one point? Or did you mixed the match?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So I love that.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah. I also to notice with the show, like it
made me start to think about female relationships because there's,
you know, so much incredible momentum and talk right now
about the importance of community and about women supporting women
and mentoring other women. And I feel as if the
(11:18):
energy I don't know if it's true for your experience,
but in mind, it just feels like the energy of
the female has really grown. Yeah, And I think this
show made me go, hmm, these women aren't being very
nice to each other.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Mm hmmm, right, which is unfortunate because the divisiveness of
you know, when you're just trying to like big up
your friends and you're trying to bolster them and champion them,
and you know, it's never personal when they can't which
these women obviously can't always do for each other. I
think you see glimpses of like oh oh, even if
(11:58):
it might be most from a selfish perspective.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Or like they'll say something as soon as the girl's
gun was discovered, then they're all talking about her behind
her back, saying oh she was weird and all things.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, and you're like, wait a minute, but what you'll
see whence you continue with the show that there is
there is a special bond between Margo and Sophie I hope.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
So yeah, yeah, right, I like them together.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, it's a little disordered, of course, but you definitely
there is a Karen love and concern there. So and
I think that's what art does, right, It imitates life,
and so I think people can see themselves in the
characters but also realize that, you know, we're all doing
(12:47):
this life thing very imperfectly, Like who are we to
judge what we do because we're here, because we're human.
But it's fascinating. You know. There were female directors for
the Higher series, which was really cool and I appreciated
that because you know, this industry, particularly entertainment industry, is
(13:11):
very male dominated in many ways, and so it is
nice that there were so many women on the set
and directing and front and behind the camera. So that
was really cool. And there was a camaraderie there even
if it wasn't on the show, it was definitely built
in on set.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
That's so cool. How do you think, you know, with
the messaging of the show, Like, I don't think anybody's
taking it that to heart, but maybe they are. How
can we be better?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Like?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
How can we How do you handle female relationships and
friendships and what are the importance of those for you
in your life right now? Where you are?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh, I mean I have two dear friends that knew
me when I was baroke so broke i couldn't pay
attention and they have met like my dearest friends since
I moved to LA when I was one was my
first ever agent, Jackie Lewis, and my O there is
My name's Gina And she was actually the human resources
at the agency I was represented at and eventually became
(14:15):
an assistant and then an agent at for nine years
in my former life.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh my god, wait, you were an agent?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Are you having PTSD right now?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah? I mean I'm so yes, I'm so grateful that
I got to learn why I wanted to do this
and that I could really understand the business from another perspective.
You know when your agent doesn't call for a while
and you're like wait and they are making phone calls
on your behalf, but like all you know is you
didn't get one. I do understand that perspective.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Now, I guess that's good.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, it is good. And also like I know how
to read contracts, which is nice and helpful. So there,
there's It was advantageous, but it was also really challenging
because I always say this, but it's like watching your
boyfriend take an other woman out every weekend. You're like, fun,
have fun of that audition, that's fun on that date,
(15:07):
my favorite table. You know, it feels that way. But
I also realized that it's really important to be of
service in life and just in general, no matter what
you do, and it comes back tenfold, and that I
was really able, Like there were so many advantages, Like
(15:29):
I would interview people every day and I'm like, oh,
now I know how to talk on a red carpet.
You know. There were things that really it's a play
that I had no idea. You know. I always think
everything is working for our good right wherever we are, yes,
no matter if we can see it or not. And
so it was really helpful. A bit of a longer
detour than I anticipated or expected nine years.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, but it doesn't matter because you're exactly where you're
supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yes, yes, exactly. So you know, there are moments where
I'm like, oh, my goodness, I worked for Peanuts, you know,
and then there's times where I'm like, oh, but I
had an invaluable experience.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Right you've been. I love how you use your platform
to sort of spread kindness and joy, and it feels
like and your music is uplifting, you know. I feel
like I try. I think it's it comes so through
(16:32):
because I did a little deep dive into your Instagram
earlier just to see what I'd missed because I'm not
that up with the times on it.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
But either I such I love hate relationship with social media.
I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What me either. Yeah, it's a lot, but I feel
like you are really using your platform for such a
good thing and that's so nice to see.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, well, thank you. I try. Like, I think we
can get really bogged down with all sorts of you know,
hard hardships and things that we're going through, things that
we see other people going through, and it's like, I'm
always like, Chrissy, what's the point of posting this? Like
there are people who are really struggling, and you know,
maybe you're used the time, is better use somewhere else
(17:20):
and like doing something else? And is this self serving?
What's my intention in this? Blah blah blah? And then
I realize the more vulnerable I am and the more
I talk about like what I'm really going through, that's
where we commune, Like that's where people come out of
the woodwork. And they're like I felt the same way,
And I'm like, oh, okay, oh.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
That totally reminds me of the post you put up
about going your first pilates class.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Holy moly, everybody, I just want to tell if you're body,
what I tell Okay, it looks like.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
A torture device, a plus.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Machine exactly right. So this is why every person who's
never ever tried a reformer is scared out of their mind.
Me and I was like, I'm just going to do it.
There was like a special like a two for one
class or something. I was like, it's this cute little
place down the street. I'm just gonna try it. What's
gonna happen? What's gonna happen? Like, maybe I'll be embarrassed,
maybe I'll fall. And I was like, there were some
(18:14):
moves that I look like a potata.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I look like, and they did have all mirrors everywhere too.
There were some.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Cute mirrors on one wall and some person I got
one of the reformers like sort of, but I it
was a whole thing. It was a whole thing, and
I think that so much of for me, the anticipation
of something is the worst part. Yeah, and then when
I got there, I was like, Oh, nobody's watching me.
Everybody's focused on their moves and they're breathing and how
(18:43):
they've come to this workout class for themselves. And I
was like, Chrissy, nobody cares how much about you? Okay,
who cares? And I really enjoyed it. It was like
very meditative. The teacher of the instructor, she was incredible.
I was like, oh, thank goodness I had her as
my first go But all that to say, you just
never know who is gonna even relate to that, and
(19:03):
so did so many people did. I was like, oh, Okay,
this is good. This is a good thing.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Because you you faced a fear, she tackled a challenge.
You didn't let all that stop you. And I think
that's what people love to hear. I have a friend
that lives in Nashville, that's where you love, right. She
just opened a plate studio.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh I wish I could.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Remember the name of Okay, her name is my friend
Jason's wife, Naomi. So her name is Naomi Priestley.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Okay, and.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I'll try to part. I have no idea, Okay, Okay, we'll.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Figure it out.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
We'll come back to that.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Well. Yeah, what's cool is Nashville was booming. So there's
so many different businesses and restaurants.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
And yeah, yeah, how long ago did you move there?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Well, officially literally three days before the world shipped down
during COVID. Okay, I got here and I was like, what,
I can't buy toilet paper, I don't have any furniture.
What's going to happen? And we're like, oh, let's just
try to survive, because we should try to live. Okay,
that's what we'll do. And so I stayed it for
about eight months and then we went back to This
is Us we started our fifth season. Yeah, I think, yeah,
(20:14):
And then I was coming back and forth just during
hiatus to songwrite and just you know, I've always loved
country music and I always wanted to write country music,
and so yeah, it's been I guess seven seven years,
eight years almost, which is crazy to think about.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
But you've popped around a lot though.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Well. I lived in LA for twenty one years and
I still have a home there that I love very much,
and my all my friends of twenty years are there.
But my family's very very close. Here. There's like a
seven hour drive, and the pace of life in National
is very different than really, yeah, like you can get
(20:57):
anywhere in like fifteen minutes and I can't even get
out my neighborhood in fifteen minutes in La. So I
appreciate that, and also I don't know, it's I think
also being around a community that feels like they really
do help you, you know, so you want to write together,
they're going to write. If they want to go to lunch,
we'll go to lunch. Like it's not I don't know,
(21:20):
it just feels much more communal.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I feel like every time I turn around, someone's telling
me they're moving to Nashville or they just moved to Nashville.
And then that makes me sad for Nashville because the
same thing happened to Austin, right, everybody fled to Austin
and then that city that just the infrastructure in the
traffic got crazy. I'm just couldn't handle the influx. That's
what kind of yeah here I heard. Yeah, it's like
(21:43):
a little la in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Now yeah, they're like, why are you guys coming? Please stop?
And I feel that I do feel bad because that's
that's not fun, especially if you're you know, born and
raised here.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Do you enjoy that quieter lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, I do, Like I you know, for me, I've
figured out sort of the balance of the crazy caass
of our industry. And then also like, oh okay, I
love to just be at home or you know, my
sister and I are obsessed with trying to start at
homestead what I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Know, wait, a second homestead.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Like this is what we want. I mean, this is
a pie in the sky, I suppose, but I'm just
so fascinated, Like I think all the benefits to growing
your own you know, vegetables and all that is super cool.
And she lives obviously in Florida, and they have ten
chickens and they have like a little mini form, so
she's like already been doing it for a long time.
(22:43):
So I was like, oh, maybe we should do like
a little homestead.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Let's talk about that a lot, but you know, it's
the dream. I've talked about that with my best friend too,
like let's just get some property and build little houses
where we will all can be together.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Pop, And people have done that.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
People doing that?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, people, Yes. So you know, I go down the
old TikTok Instagram, I'm like, wow, I look at this,
And that's all we do is send each other videos
of what could be.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh yep, I heard you say once, if you're living,
you're going through something.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I think the whole purpose of
us being on this plane of existence is to evolve
and hopefully and that we're either the teacher or the student.
Sometimes we're both in whatever scenario. I mean it literally
could be the woman who just cut you in line
at the DMV and you're like, Okay, what do I
(23:39):
get to teach or what do I get to learn
in this moment? You know, like, no matter what, and
so yeah, and that's I think the beauty of life
is like, oh okay, what is what is my what
is my part in this story? How do I make
it better?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah? Where? Okay? Where you are in your life right now?
You're a your space whatever it is that's happening with you.
How do you see how you have evolved in the
last five years?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Oh wow, Well I finally understood the concept of the
word boundaries.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Okay, that's it. That's a hard one to.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It's very hard, and it's still challenging.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
How is it hard for you? I'm just curious.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Well, I'm a middle child of five.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Okay, got it, And so.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
A lot of the time I was like the entertaining
diplomat or the moderator because I could always see both
sides of a coin or an argument or a perspective,
which I think helps with acting and empathy. But what
ends up happening is I don't always leave room for
myself in particular situations or if not feeling seen or
(24:54):
heard as a middle child, It's like, Okay, I'll do
anything I can to get your attention. Do you want something, Okay,
I'll buy it. Do you want my attention, Okay, I'll
call you right now, even though maybe I should be
spending that money on myself, or maybe I should be
spending that hour of like meditating or journaling or whatever
it is that I want to do for myself. And
(25:14):
I know, like we always understand that concept of we
put the oxygen mask ourse out on ourselves. I understand
that conceptually, but to put it into practice for me
is difficult because a people pleaser, so and then I
you know, I've learned through therapy that people pleasing really
is a selfish act. And I'm like, cool, cool.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Wait, wait, wait wait, explain that to me.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Yes, So, essentially, if if you said, Okay, Christy, I
want to go to lunch tomorrow and I want to
go to lunch, I definitely want to go to lunch,
but I know that I've already made a commitment to
someone else. But I don't want to say no to
you because I don't want you to be upset if
I say. Well, and so I've already made this prior commitment,
(25:58):
and so I'm like, okay, do I stretch myself so
within that I try to make both things happen because
I want to please both of you, and in turn,
inevitably can't make it to lunch with you because something
that I already previously planned went over time. Then I
disappointed you by just not being honest.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
And thing, I get it. Oh my gosh, this is
I'm figuring out one of my daughters. As you're speaking,
this is incredible, But how do you take now that
I can see that side of it, how do you
right the wrong of being selfish? You know, not just
I mean yeah, for them, for the other people, but
also for yourself, because you don't want to.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Be selfish, right. What I want is to be able
to honor myself, which when you honor yourself, you can
be honest with yourself and with others. So if I
would say, oh my gosh, Jenny, I've always wanted to
go to lunch with you, but I can't. I've already
made this prior commitment. Can we set up for another day?
And you would be like, yeah, whatever, But in my mind,
(26:58):
I'm thinking she hates me, sh'd ever want go to
lunch again? You know, you create this whole scenario because
for me and my trauma and my core wounds is
like not being chosen, not feeling seen or heard. And
so if I don't do what you ask me to do,
you're not gonna like me. And so I have to
be okay with whatever you're gonna feel because your feelings
(27:19):
are yours and they're valid, but they're not facts, right,
So it doesn't mean that, like, and you could be mad,
but I can't control and I can't manage your feelings.
I can only be honest. And then in turn you
trust me and you're like, oh, no, I know that
Chrissie's not gonna do something she doesn't want to do
for whoever's sake, and good. I'm so glad because it
then probably helps you to sit in a seat of
(27:41):
power you don't have to do the same thing. And
so again it's putting into practice, like it's it's not easy,
because I certainly have challenges all the time. I'm like, Okay,
before you call your sister, before you call your family,
what does Christy need to do? Right? Like, oh, would
(28:01):
it feel better if you took a shower before you
called her? Or do the dishes? Something simple, like simple,
just little things. Yeah, that way I'm not stressed or
I don't feel like, okay, I'm not taking care of myself.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So it's it's a whole very Yeah, that's layered.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, you're learning, you're learning that in therapy.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yes, this is why I think therapy just should be
so accessible for everyone.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
You know, especially human people, every human being.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
You know, Like I'm saying, if you're living. You're you're
experiencing life, and we are We're not like here's when
you're born, Like, here's your toolbox. You know exactly what
to do with it.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Give you nothing, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
A blanket and a little beanie hat. No, we need
tools and a blueprint, sir.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I need instructions.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yes, I need the pamphlet, the manual, the book. Yes.
So you know it's cool because we get to learn
as we go and hopefully impart that. And I've learned
so much from people and therapists. So yeah, again, not
not doing it perfectly, but trying, and I think that's hoping.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
That's the first step. I think acknowledging the areas where
you're not living up to be the person that you
want to be, or the areas that aren't working for you,
that's the first step. Yeah, but that's hard.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
It's the first step, and it's a big step.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
You co wrote a children's book, Yeah, tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
So I wrote the first book. My grandmother, who lived
with us in Japan when my dad was in the Navy,
when I was a kid. She always instilled faith in
our lives and we grew up Catholic, and I just
I never knew. Like the first book was when I
talked to Got to Talk about You, And it's basically
(30:02):
a gentle introduction to prayer for kids. And because when
I would go to you know, Mass or go to church,
I'm like, wait, do we only pray at church?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Like?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Can I only talk to God when I'm in his house?
His house?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Right?
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Only the house of the Lord. And so you know,
of course, as you get older and you learn things,
I'm like, oh, I just want to impart that, like
you can talk to him anywhere, anytime about anything. And
so and that also was like a twofold concept of
people who were praying to God for children that they've
(30:38):
wanted or for their children. You know. Again, I don't
have children. I taught preschool back in Florida, have ten
nieces and nephews, so I understand to an extent. But yeah,
that was just something that was always like, oh, I
mean I always want to write children's books, always, and
(30:58):
so I'm happy that it's It started with that. And
then when we were reading the book out and about
so many kids wanted to talk about their feelings, you know,
because they aren't seen or heard, and I know that
like obviously we're all kids at some point, and we
all are just big kids, and you know, but that
(31:18):
treating the soil is really important. And so I was like, oh,
the second book has to be about feelings. And when
I talk to God, I talk about feelings. So yeah,
I'm it's so wonderful because even if people don't believe
in God or they don't have a religious you know,
sort of aspect of their life, they're like, these are great,
(31:38):
great tools for me to be able to have a
conversation with my daughter and my son about feeling disappointed
or sad or excited or you know, things that we
can't name. If we can't name a feeling, we can't
communicate about it, and we can't honor that and feel
validated in that feeling. So yeah, it's just been it's
been really cool. And I've written to an album for
(32:00):
each book.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
That music that goes with it. I love that. I
bet I bet kids really enjoy that. I really it's
such a tender way to connect music with big messages.
Did you grow up in a house of feelings?
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Oh, we have feelings, but we didn't talk about them.
You know. It was we make a joke or we self.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Deprecate or you know, rush it under the rug, rush.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
On the rug, or I'm going to give you something
to cry about, like that is a famous line that
I heard. I'm like, wait, but I'm really sad about something.
You know, my parents were in the whole era of
kids are seen and not heard. If they don't feel
like their feelings even matter, how are they going to
know how to communicate about my feelings and know what
(32:50):
to do with my feelings? They're too big into like uh, intimidating.
So yeah, I mean it's interesting now because we we
joke a lot, like a lot of humor. You know,
the pain is really shrouded with humor my family, and
you know, you laugh and so you don't cry. But
(33:11):
you know, we're working on it. We're working on it.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
We're Yeah, it's hard to it's hard to express your
feelings in a house that doesn't feel safe. Yes, yeah,
for sure. How did you get your feelings out when
you were younger? Though, Like, oh I was a little chrissy.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Like oh gosh, well, I wrote a lot of like
poetry like middle school a little bit younger. I mean,
I definitely love music of all genres, So I think
that was really helpful. And I think that's why I'm
so transfixed on music now because it's so as you're saying, like, yeah,
it's all encompassing and very healing. But some music, yes,
(33:59):
was big. There's some music I'm like, it feels like torture. Yeah,
please please please, But you know, the stuff that you
resonate and you your frequency vibrates on for sure. But yeah,
I mean I also was sort of the jokes or
you know when yeah, the silly girl, And that's sort
(34:20):
of how I got through a lot of the feelings.
And I think, you know, obviously, I've had a food
issue all my life, and I think that has quite
a massive part in how I've handled things because I
just stuffed the feelings down with food. So you know,
it's a coping mechanism. It's not a good one, but
it is one.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
So yeah, I think food plays such a huge role
in people processing all kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, for sure, And because it's accessible and you have
to do it right, Like you have to eat to survive.
It's not like, oh, okay, I have to drink this
drink or I have to you know, smoke a cigarette
or whatever drug like you need food, so it makes
a little more.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Cunning your good word, good word for.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, I'm like, okay, I don't all right, all right,
all right? So you know it's and that again is
a process. And for me, it's like and I always
say mind, body, soul, spirit, because it's like all of
it it has to like fit like a puzzle. Because
sometimes I've had a couple of a couple of those
I'm like, oh, yeah, I got that handle, and I'm like, no,
(35:31):
you don't, you know, And I just sort of now,
like the puzzle pieces are like locking in.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
So how do you stop yourself from Like I'm literally curious,
like how like when you're in one of those spaces
where you don't feel like you have control, how do
you stop yourself?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
I think for me, it's before you even get to
that moment. And that's why like prayer, meditation, journaling, having therapy,
intuitively eating, knowing that I have like there is it's
been helpful for me because I was very much over
disciplined growing up and so I always thought like, oh
(36:10):
my gosh, like tracking macros and carbs and this and that,
and then this is so like I feel like I'm
just being disciplined, And then I realized, oh no, like
that discipline is absolute liberation, and so I don't have
to obsess about things specifically, well whatever, I change the food,
(36:32):
and so I know that food is not the issue,
it's the symptom. And so I'm like, Okay, what's really
going on? What's happening? Like did you not say something
you wanted to say to someone? Did you agree to
do something you didn't want to do? Did you defer
to someone that you know might have had more experience
than you, but you intuitively know it wasn't right?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
You know?
Speaker 2 (36:53):
So I just try to constantly what they say, uncovered, discovered, discard, right,
I'm like, okay, okay, if I do all these things, okay,
then I'm not going to the food for self soothing
or because I'm angry or can they say, like you
eat something crunch eats because you're angry. If you eat
something like ice cream, it's soothing, it's smooth, you know.
(37:16):
So all those things have a place in time. But
like if anything's disordered, which my food intake was for
a long time, I'm like, oh this isn't this isn't right.
So just trying to preempt any of that before it
to the I'm about to make a bad decision. I'm
going to regret, you.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Know, Yes, yes, yes, I've been there.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Yeah. And not to vilify food. I think so much
of our world is obsessed with weight to a degree
that it's like, if you're overweight, you are. It's just
the worst thing. It's the worst thing in the world.
But there are people who are, you know, unfortunately outwardly
(37:59):
thin but really going through a lot mentally, emotionally, or
not even eating at all, or you know, taking a
prescription drug and drinking diet cokes and smoking cigarettes. But
you're like, oh, but they're they're thin, so they're attractive.
And I'm like, but they're not healthy either. So it's
hard for everyone. Yeah, Like if you've been an ingenue
(38:21):
and you've looked a certain way and then you as
we age, it's like, it's silly to me that we
aren't more supported and with our elders and like the
knowledge and the experiences that they have had and they
can share with us, Like why is that not celebrated
so many other culture as it is here. It's like, oh,
God forbid you get a gray hair, God forbid you
(38:43):
you gain a pound God for you know, You're like,
why are we so transfixed on the vehicle and not
like what's inside? You know, to navigate it is like
a daily it's daily, sometimes it's hourly, you know, because
we can. It's just hard. I think everybody, no matter
(39:06):
where they've come from, what the career looked like, what
they want it to look like. And it doesn't even
have to be in entertainment. But you know, we all are.
All we want is to be loved. And we do
the things that we do because we want to be
respected because we want to be loved, you know. And
I have had to come to terms with like there
(39:28):
are people that are not going to like me. They
just aren't and whether they know me or not, and
I'm out a cup of tea, okay, you know, and
it's not personal. And that's such a big thing for
me becoming, you know, out of my people pleasing nonsense
and realizing that I'm just I'm just a person trying
to figure this out too. And if I can have
(39:48):
grace for other people, I can have it for myself,
right And none of us know what we're doing, you know,
so like why do we talk or about that as
opposed to like the highlight reel on Instagram that makes
people feel so like alone. I know, I watch videos
(40:09):
and I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to be
doing this and I need to be doing that.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, it's so it's not a good feeling.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
No, it's not. And so then I have to like, Okay,
let me reprogram what I'm really thinking, Like, what do
I need to be doing in my life? Is it
because I knew that I should have woken up earlier
to go to the gym, and now I feel bad
And so now I'm jealous that this person put themselves
first and they have the discipline that I didn't put
in this morning. Because when things really like strike a nerve,
(40:38):
it's it's because usually of my own stuff or if
I'm jealous or if I feel whatever fill in the
blank with whatever emotion. At that second, I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no,
no no, because at the core of who I am
and who I want to be is like happy for people, right,
And I also know that I can't take anything away
(40:59):
from someone it's meant for them and vice versa. So
I know that. And also when I'm grateful for the
things that I have. What's so cool is that the
more you receive, the more grateful you are, true, which
is like such an incredible concept. But again, sort of
(41:21):
separating the feeling from the fact, you know, is hard,
and especially when we're going through whatever it is that
we're going through, like you name it, we've got it all,
you know, and nobody, nobody's exempt from that. So yeah, again,
there's a lot of tools in that toolbox. She's heavy
(41:42):
that box. That toolbox.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
I can't even lift my box.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, I know. I'm like, I can't even open them.
I'm like, oh my gosh. But I know that when
I put those things into practice, I'm I'm a better
I'm better for it.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
And do you this is what I do when I'm
not practicing what I know I need to be practicing
for my best life, my well being, my healthiest me.
I am so ashamed and I feel guilty and I'm
angry at myself.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Yes, yeah, and you project that anger to someone else.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
And then there go your relationships.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
And there we go and then what we're alone sad
and angry. Knows.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
I know, for a while that can be nice, like
on the couch, sure, but then you kind of get
sick of that, and you gotta think, like, Okay, what
do I need to do to get the life I want?
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Yes? Yes, And sometimes the things that we don't want
to do, yeah, at least in the moment, and then
we realize, oh, this was advantageous. Okay, next time, I
hope to do that again. But it is all a process.
That's why you know, it's important to have grace for yourself.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Absolutely, I mean the most important thing, yeah, for yourself
and for others, because, like you said before, we don't
know what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
No, don't. A therapist always says, she's like, if you
were feeling bad, Chrissie, why would you throw another arrow
into your heart? You're feeling bad for feeling bad, You're
just like hurting.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
It's like it's like this, Yeah, it's like a self
inflicting some sort of reward. Yeah, I know there's no reward.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I know.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I was like, was I absent when whatever that thing
in the brain was given out? Because why can't I?
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Why can't I have said that so many times, like
why does everybody else get to be happy? And I
can't fucking figure it out.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
It's wild, it's wild. And then you know, we know
that we put these tools into action.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
It changes, It changes things, doesn't not challenging. I just
love Chrissy though. There's so much more to talk about,
So watch for part two of this episode. And you
know what, As always, if you subscribe right now to
I Choose Me, you'll never miss a single moment.
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me, a podcast about choices. Today,
I'm joined by Chrissy Mets, actress, singer, and author. Of
course you know her from This Is Us, But get ready,
she chose a new role a ferocious mama bear and
the wildly addictive series The Hunting Wives. Okay, you guys,
(00:32):
this show is so full of secrets and spice. You
gotta watch it. Chrissy opens up about preparing for darker
roles and finally finding her stride with personal boundaries. You're
going to love my new friend, Chrissy Mets. Hi, Hi,
they're beautiful.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Were you?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I'm great, it's so nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
It's so nice to meet you. I'm like, Wow, I'm
glad that we're doing it, even if it's on zoom.
I'm like, just so you know me too.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh my gosh, you are having some kind of a moment, lady.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
You know, I think people think that, but it's just
the timing, like everything, Yeah, you know, how it goes.
It's like nothing and for famine, it's like and then
optically it looks like, oh my goodness, like and it's
great and it's wonderful, and I'm grateful because so many people,
as you know, it takes a village. I mean, I
(01:30):
listen to have a job, people to have a job,
but I think it looks one way, you know, to
the to the world. And then I'm like, oh, there's
the reality.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
So of course, well, yeah, I mean I get it.
To have a job is just the best feeling.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah. Well, you know, I always say that we're in
the business of rejection, and I'm like, why did I
how there's something to that, Chrissy, you did this on purpose?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, we must like it.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah, I think for me it's like a self fulfilling
prophecy where I'm like, well, nobody's going to choose me,
and so why didn't I get into a business world?
I'll never feel chosen?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh my god, that's the whole point of this podcast.
Guess what you have to choose yourself exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
And I wasn't even like, you know, prepping that segue, but.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I know, but yeah, I loved it. Well, let's just
talk about The Hunting Wives. Yes, I had not watched
it until last night, and then I started binging, of course,
because I wanted to see what everyone was talking, what
everyone was talking about, and I wanted to see your
performance and I wanted to see your character so we
could really talk about it. And I was it's fun.
(02:37):
It's a really fun show to watch.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, it's I always try to preface with I don't
know that. I'd watch it with my mom and watch
that she has little boy, yes, and you know she's
she said, five kids, so like she knows how the
world works. But like seeing you know, and when we
read it, it's so different than it coming to life
(03:02):
and an actual television. You know, you're right.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
What did you think when you read like, let's just
be specific, like all the sex, there's just sex all
the time.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Well, I was like, oh, thank goodness, I don't have
to do it.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
But your first thought, though, I'm like, would just be
the you know, very sweet kind who's just trying to
fight for her daughter.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I'm like, oh, because you know, as you know, no
matter what we do, it's going to come with thoughts, opinions, criticism,
and luckily with Starr in particular, the role that I played,
I I know that woman. My mom was a single mom.
I grew up in the South. Like it felt good
to also champion women like that and to also know
(03:47):
that those stories get to be told, and also that
this woman's not going to roll over and just let
these people treat her any kind of way.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I mean, I don't know if there's anybody do you
think there's anybody that hasn't seen it at this point?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
What happened? Yet? I'm sorry? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
What?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
What would you summarize the show as, like in your mind?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah? Well, I think in my mind it is, uh,
you know, a group of ladies who are you know,
I like to look at all the good in people,
you know, so I'm like, oh, these are troubled women
who are searching for something, and each of us have
something that we want. And so, you know, I think
with Sophie Britney Snow's character, you know, everyone's like, she's
(04:34):
so crazy. How in the world is she gonna let
this woman Margo, who yes Ackerman plays, how she gonna
let this woman just like take her down and like
make her do all that? And I'm like, this is
a broken woman who feels sorry for herself. She's run
over someone and killed them in her prior life in Boston,
Like stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Is going on, you know, and so I'm deeply yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, trouble, trouble, and then poor you know Mallin's character, Margo.
I mean, she's been fighting for her life, her whole life.
You know, her mom left them literally like fending for
themselves in a trailer park, trying to you know, bamboozo
people for money so they could pay the rent. But
you know, everybody's got something, you know, Poor Jill, she's
(05:18):
you know, doesn't have a great relationship with their pastor husband,
but they have to keep it together for the optics
of the church. You know, there's just a lot going on,
and I think that's where people enjoy it, whether they're like,
oh I can't relate at all, or oh someone's better
off or better than me. Oh, like there's just something
in it for everyone, and it's you know, obviously salacious fun. Yeah,
(05:41):
it's fun, like yeah, you know, I don't think it
takes itself too seriously, which is nice. But then I
feel like with Starr, I'm so grateful to play her
because I feel like she sort of grounded you know,
these women who you know, might be making decisions that
aren't the best and not that Starr makes a decision
that you know, leads to her demise that is not
(06:03):
the best.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
But wait, don't spoil it because I haven't watched the finale,
the last episode. Were you about to tell me, I'm
not saying a word.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Just give me another give me another few hours.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, okay, perfect, you're busy. But yeah, I just I
think that it's so hard to summarize, you know, the show.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
But well, let's talk about your character, because you just
told me that you're from the South. You know this character,
you know this person. I believed that because when I
was watching you, you felt very natural, very real, and
you know, I it makes sense now that you say
that that that you're from the South. That was your mom,
you know, and I feel it when your character comes
(06:47):
on screen, and I was I was wondering, like, are
do you think that the rest of the group of
women or the people in the show are depicted accurately
for that kind of environment? Where's it?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Hell?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Is it in Dallas?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's set in Tyler, Texas, which is Tyler, Texas. But
you know, I like run to the comments because I
do want to see what people are saying, because obviously
I didn't grow up in Tyler, Texas. But I grew
up in the South, and Texas is very different from
Florida North Florida. But a lot of people were, you know,
ragging on the wigs and They're like what And then
people would say, oh, no, this is what women are,
(07:24):
like like, this is what they wear and these are
the wigs. And I was like, oh, okay, you know,
so that you're like, oh, okay, they got it right.
You know. I think that again, everybody's always going to
have an opinion, but I think that as far as
perhaps the stereotype, you know, there's some truth into stereotypes,
(07:45):
for better or for worse. So I do think that
some people felt like, oh, they got this right.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah, it feels right. It feels like I'm transported to
this lifestyle. Yeah, which is very like I feel like
I'm Brittany's character because you're like, wow, what and where
have I? What have I stepped into?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah? You don't work your wife?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Oh yeah, wow, that sounds cool, but you really had
to kind of step into a much darker place for
this role.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Then maybe you have before, maybe not, but this was
I mean I was watching and I was thinking, Wow,
it's so great to see her. She has a teenage daughter.
I can really relate to, like that relationship that was
happening when she was upset about the boyfriend and kind
of really shut you out, and she was rude to you,
(08:39):
and I was feeling for you as a mom, and
then that what happened to your daughter happened. I don't
want to spoil it for anyone either, right, And then
I was like, oh my god, this poor lady.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, and here are these people. Yeah, her as like
a political side piece to like at.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Your at the vision of your daughter. The guy says,
I'm going to run for a governor.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Now's the time, jed, now's the time. Who Durmatt played
and who I love? He's so wonderful. I'm like, you
played such a jerk. You played it well, but I
know it's you know, And anybody who feels marginalized, I
think can relate to Star's character. And I definitely feel
like I always relate to the underdog. I sort of
(09:25):
felt that way in my family. I felt that way
growing up. I felt the way being a big girl
from a small town moving to LA So that is
deeply within the empathy for me. So I can feel it. Yeah,
Oh well, thank you. And it's funny because all the girls,
of course, are so wonderful, but I remember like being
in a scene and they're all like, you know, dressed
(09:47):
to the nines and cute and polished and all that,
and I'm just looking over there like, oh, this is
only going to help my performance, this is only going
to help me perform. But you feel like an outsider.
You feel like an outcast. And you're like, yeah, you know,
she's blast size girls. She's you know, she wears clothes
probably from affordable places and just can't even afford a
(10:07):
pair of boots for her poor daughters, you know, hiking
trip and there's a lot in that. And you know,
I'm not never been a parent. I have a dog,
but I have ten nieces and nephews. And even when
I'm like, oh, I want to like get them something,
you know, I want to go on a trip with them,
or go on a field trip, and I can't, it's like, oh,
(10:30):
you feel like you failed, you know, And I'm just
an aunt. I can't imagine as a parent, you know,
it must be so so difficult.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
It is challenging. But being a dog mom is challenging too.
My dog, Yeah, they keep me on my toes.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, how many do you have right now?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Three?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Okay? Did you have before?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah? Five at one point? Or did you mixed the match?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So I love that.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah. I also to notice with the show, like it
made me start to think about female relationships because there's,
you know, so much incredible momentum and talk right now
about the importance of community and about women supporting women
and mentoring other women. And I feel as if the
(11:18):
energy I don't know if it's true for your experience,
but in mind, it just feels like the energy of
the female has really grown. Yeah, And I think this
show made me go, hmm, these women aren't being very
nice to each other.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Mm hmmm, right, which is unfortunate because the divisiveness of
you know, when you're just trying to like big up
your friends and you're trying to bolster them and champion them,
and you know, it's never personal when they can't which
these women obviously can't always do for each other. I
think you see glimpses of like oh oh, even if
(11:58):
it might be most from a selfish perspective.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Or like they'll say something as soon as the girl's
gun was discovered, then they're all talking about her behind
her back, saying oh she was weird and all things.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, and you're like, wait a minute, but what you'll
see whence you continue with the show that there is
there is a special bond between Margo and Sophie I hope.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
So yeah, yeah, right, I like them together.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, it's a little disordered, of course, but you definitely
there is a Karen love and concern there. So and
I think that's what art does, right, It imitates life,
and so I think people can see themselves in the
characters but also realize that, you know, we're all doing
(12:47):
this life thing very imperfectly, Like who are we to
judge what we do because we're here, because we're human.
But it's fascinating. You know. There were female directors for
the Higher series, which was really cool and I appreciated
that because you know, this industry, particularly entertainment industry, is
(13:11):
very male dominated in many ways, and so it is
nice that there were so many women on the set
and directing and front and behind the camera. So that
was really cool. And there was a camaraderie there even
if it wasn't on the show, it was definitely built
in on set.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
That's so cool. How do you think, you know, with
the messaging of the show, Like, I don't think anybody's
taking it that to heart, but maybe they are. How
can we be better?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Like?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
How can we How do you handle female relationships and
friendships and what are the importance of those for you
in your life right now? Where you are?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh, I mean I have two dear friends that knew
me when I was baroke so broke i couldn't pay
attention and they have met like my dearest friends since
I moved to LA when I was one was my
first ever agent, Jackie Lewis, and my O there is
My name's Gina And she was actually the human resources
at the agency I was represented at and eventually became
(14:15):
an assistant and then an agent at for nine years
in my former life.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh my god, wait, you were an agent?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Are you having PTSD right now?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah? I mean I'm so yes, I'm so grateful that
I got to learn why I wanted to do this
and that I could really understand the business from another perspective.
You know when your agent doesn't call for a while
and you're like wait and they are making phone calls
on your behalf, but like all you know is you
didn't get one. I do understand that perspective.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Now, I guess that's good.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, it is good. And also like I know how
to read contracts, which is nice and helpful. So there,
there's It was advantageous, but it was also really challenging
because I always say this, but it's like watching your
boyfriend take an other woman out every weekend. You're like, fun,
have fun of that audition, that's fun on that date,
(15:07):
my favorite table. You know, it feels that way. But
I also realized that it's really important to be of
service in life and just in general, no matter what
you do, and it comes back tenfold, and that I
was really able, Like there were so many advantages, Like
(15:29):
I would interview people every day and I'm like, oh,
now I know how to talk on a red carpet.
You know. There were things that really it's a play
that I had no idea. You know. I always think
everything is working for our good right wherever we are, yes,
no matter if we can see it or not. And
so it was really helpful. A bit of a longer
detour than I anticipated or expected nine years.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, but it doesn't matter because you're exactly where you're
supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yes, yes, exactly. So you know, there are moments where
I'm like, oh, my goodness, I worked for Peanuts, you know,
and then there's times where I'm like, oh, but I
had an invaluable experience.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Right you've been. I love how you use your platform
to sort of spread kindness and joy, and it feels
like and your music is uplifting, you know. I feel
like I try. I think it's it comes so through
(16:32):
because I did a little deep dive into your Instagram
earlier just to see what I'd missed because I'm not
that up with the times on it.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
But either I such I love hate relationship with social media.
I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What me either. Yeah, it's a lot, but I feel
like you are really using your platform for such a
good thing and that's so nice to see.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, well, thank you. I try. Like, I think we
can get really bogged down with all sorts of you know,
hard hardships and things that we're going through, things that
we see other people going through, and it's like, I'm
always like, Chrissy, what's the point of posting this? Like
there are people who are really struggling, and you know,
maybe you're used the time, is better use somewhere else
(17:20):
and like doing something else? And is this self serving?
What's my intention in this? Blah blah blah? And then
I realize the more vulnerable I am and the more
I talk about like what I'm really going through, that's
where we commune, Like that's where people come out of
the woodwork. And they're like I felt the same way,
And I'm like, oh, okay, oh.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
That totally reminds me of the post you put up
about going your first pilates class.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Holy moly, everybody, I just want to tell if you're body,
what I tell Okay, it looks like.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
A torture device, a plus.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Machine exactly right. So this is why every person who's
never ever tried a reformer is scared out of their mind.
Me and I was like, I'm just going to do it.
There was like a special like a two for one
class or something. I was like, it's this cute little
place down the street. I'm just gonna try it. What's
gonna happen? What's gonna happen? Like, maybe I'll be embarrassed,
maybe I'll fall. And I was like, there were some
(18:14):
moves that I look like a potata.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I look like, and they did have all mirrors everywhere too.
There were some.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Cute mirrors on one wall and some person I got
one of the reformers like sort of, but I it
was a whole thing. It was a whole thing, and
I think that so much of for me, the anticipation
of something is the worst part. Yeah, and then when
I got there, I was like, Oh, nobody's watching me.
Everybody's focused on their moves and they're breathing and how
(18:43):
they've come to this workout class for themselves. And I
was like, Chrissy, nobody cares how much about you? Okay,
who cares? And I really enjoyed it. It was like
very meditative. The teacher of the instructor, she was incredible.
I was like, oh, thank goodness I had her as
my first go But all that to say, you just
never know who is gonna even relate to that, and
(19:03):
so did so many people did. I was like, oh, Okay,
this is good. This is a good thing.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Because you you faced a fear, she tackled a challenge.
You didn't let all that stop you. And I think
that's what people love to hear. I have a friend
that lives in Nashville, that's where you love, right. She
just opened a plate studio.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh I wish I could.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Remember the name of Okay, her name is my friend
Jason's wife, Naomi. So her name is Naomi Priestley.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Okay, and.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I'll try to part. I have no idea, Okay, Okay, we'll.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Figure it out.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
We'll come back to that.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Well. Yeah, what's cool is Nashville was booming. So there's
so many different businesses and restaurants.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
And yeah, yeah, how long ago did you move there?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Well, officially literally three days before the world shipped down
during COVID. Okay, I got here and I was like, what,
I can't buy toilet paper, I don't have any furniture.
What's going to happen? And we're like, oh, let's just
try to survive, because we should try to live. Okay,
that's what we'll do. And so I stayed it for
about eight months and then we went back to This
is Us we started our fifth season. Yeah, I think, yeah,
(20:14):
And then I was coming back and forth just during
hiatus to songwrite and just you know, I've always loved
country music and I always wanted to write country music,
and so yeah, it's been I guess seven seven years,
eight years almost, which is crazy to think about.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
But you've popped around a lot though.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Well. I lived in LA for twenty one years and
I still have a home there that I love very much,
and my all my friends of twenty years are there.
But my family's very very close. Here. There's like a
seven hour drive, and the pace of life in National
is very different than really, yeah, like you can get
(20:57):
anywhere in like fifteen minutes and I can't even get
out my neighborhood in fifteen minutes in La. So I
appreciate that, and also I don't know, it's I think
also being around a community that feels like they really
do help you, you know, so you want to write together,
they're going to write. If they want to go to lunch,
we'll go to lunch. Like it's not I don't know,
(21:20):
it just feels much more communal.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I feel like every time I turn around, someone's telling
me they're moving to Nashville or they just moved to Nashville.
And then that makes me sad for Nashville because the
same thing happened to Austin, right, everybody fled to Austin
and then that city that just the infrastructure in the
traffic got crazy. I'm just couldn't handle the influx. That's
what kind of yeah here I heard. Yeah, it's like
(21:43):
a little la in Nashville.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Now yeah, they're like, why are you guys coming? Please stop?
And I feel that I do feel bad because that's
that's not fun, especially if you're you know, born and
raised here.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Do you enjoy that quieter lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, I do, Like I you know, for me, I've
figured out sort of the balance of the crazy caass
of our industry. And then also like, oh okay, I
love to just be at home or you know, my
sister and I are obsessed with trying to start at
homestead what I don't.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Know, wait, a second homestead.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Like this is what we want. I mean, this is
a pie in the sky, I suppose, but I'm just
so fascinated, Like I think all the benefits to growing
your own you know, vegetables and all that is super cool.
And she lives obviously in Florida, and they have ten
chickens and they have like a little mini form, so
she's like already been doing it for a long time.
(22:43):
So I was like, oh, maybe we should do like
a little homestead.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Let's talk about that a lot, but you know, it's
the dream. I've talked about that with my best friend too,
like let's just get some property and build little houses
where we will all can be together.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Pop, And people have done that.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
People doing that?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, people, Yes. So you know, I go down the
old TikTok Instagram, I'm like, wow, I look at this,
And that's all we do is send each other videos
of what could be.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh yep, I heard you say once, if you're living,
you're going through something.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I think the whole purpose of
us being on this plane of existence is to evolve
and hopefully and that we're either the teacher or the student.
Sometimes we're both in whatever scenario. I mean it literally
could be the woman who just cut you in line
at the DMV and you're like, Okay, what do I
(23:39):
get to teach or what do I get to learn
in this moment? You know, like, no matter what, and
so yeah, and that's I think the beauty of life
is like, oh okay, what is what is my what
is my part in this story? How do I make
it better?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah? Where? Okay? Where you are in your life right now?
You're a your space whatever it is that's happening with you.
How do you see how you have evolved in the
last five years?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Oh wow, Well I finally understood the concept of the
word boundaries.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Okay, that's it. That's a hard one to.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It's very hard, and it's still challenging.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
How is it hard for you? I'm just curious.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Well, I'm a middle child of five.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Okay, got it, And so.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
A lot of the time I was like the entertaining
diplomat or the moderator because I could always see both
sides of a coin or an argument or a perspective,
which I think helps with acting and empathy. But what
ends up happening is I don't always leave room for
myself in particular situations or if not feeling seen or
(24:54):
heard as a middle child, It's like, Okay, I'll do
anything I can to get your attention. Do you want something, Okay,
I'll buy it. Do you want my attention, Okay, I'll
call you right now, even though maybe I should be
spending that money on myself, or maybe I should be
spending that hour of like meditating or journaling or whatever
it is that I want to do for myself. And
(25:14):
I know, like we always understand that concept of we
put the oxygen mask ourse out on ourselves. I understand
that conceptually, but to put it into practice for me
is difficult because a people pleaser, so and then I
you know, I've learned through therapy that people pleasing really
is a selfish act. And I'm like, cool, cool.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Wait, wait, wait wait, explain that to me.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Yes, So, essentially, if if you said, Okay, Christy, I
want to go to lunch tomorrow and I want to
go to lunch, I definitely want to go to lunch,
but I know that I've already made a commitment to
someone else. But I don't want to say no to
you because I don't want you to be upset if
I say. Well, and so I've already made this prior commitment,
(25:58):
and so I'm like, okay, do I stretch myself so
within that I try to make both things happen because
I want to please both of you, and in turn,
inevitably can't make it to lunch with you because something
that I already previously planned went over time. Then I
disappointed you by just not being honest.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
And thing, I get it. Oh my gosh, this is
I'm figuring out one of my daughters. As you're speaking,
this is incredible, But how do you take now that
I can see that side of it, how do you
right the wrong of being selfish? You know, not just
I mean yeah, for them, for the other people, but
also for yourself, because you don't want to.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Be selfish, right. What I want is to be able
to honor myself, which when you honor yourself, you can
be honest with yourself and with others. So if I
would say, oh my gosh, Jenny, I've always wanted to
go to lunch with you, but I can't. I've already
made this prior commitment. Can we set up for another day?
And you would be like, yeah, whatever, But in my mind,
(26:58):
I'm thinking she hates me, sh'd ever want go to
lunch again? You know, you create this whole scenario because
for me and my trauma and my core wounds is
like not being chosen, not feeling seen or heard. And
so if I don't do what you ask me to do,
you're not gonna like me. And so I have to
be okay with whatever you're gonna feel because your feelings
(27:19):
are yours and they're valid, but they're not facts, right,
So it doesn't mean that, like, and you could be mad,
but I can't control and I can't manage your feelings.
I can only be honest. And then in turn you
trust me and you're like, oh, no, I know that
Chrissie's not gonna do something she doesn't want to do
for whoever's sake, and good. I'm so glad because it
then probably helps you to sit in a seat of
(27:41):
power you don't have to do the same thing. And
so again it's putting into practice, like it's it's not easy,
because I certainly have challenges all the time. I'm like, Okay,
before you call your sister, before you call your family,
what does Christy need to do? Right? Like, oh, would
(28:01):
it feel better if you took a shower before you
called her? Or do the dishes? Something simple, like simple,
just little things. Yeah, that way I'm not stressed or
I don't feel like, okay, I'm not taking care of myself.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So it's it's a whole very Yeah, that's layered.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, you're learning, you're learning that in therapy.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yes, this is why I think therapy just should be
so accessible for everyone.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
You know, especially human people, every human being.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
You know, Like I'm saying, if you're living. You're you're
experiencing life, and we are We're not like here's when
you're born, Like, here's your toolbox. You know exactly what
to do with it.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Give you nothing, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
A blanket and a little beanie hat. No, we need
tools and a blueprint, sir.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I need instructions.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yes, I need the pamphlet, the manual, the book. Yes.
So you know it's cool because we get to learn
as we go and hopefully impart that. And I've learned
so much from people and therapists. So yeah, again, not
not doing it perfectly, but trying, and I think that's hoping.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
That's the first step. I think acknowledging the areas where
you're not living up to be the person that you
want to be, or the areas that aren't working for you,
that's the first step. Yeah, but that's hard.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
It's the first step, and it's a big step.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
You co wrote a children's book, Yeah, tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
So I wrote the first book. My grandmother, who lived
with us in Japan when my dad was in the Navy,
when I was a kid. She always instilled faith in
our lives and we grew up Catholic, and I just
I never knew. Like the first book was when I
talked to Got to Talk about You, And it's basically
(30:02):
a gentle introduction to prayer for kids. And because when
I would go to you know, Mass or go to church,
I'm like, wait, do we only pray at church?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Like?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Can I only talk to God when I'm in his house?
His house?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Right?
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Only the house of the Lord. And so you know,
of course, as you get older and you learn things,
I'm like, oh, I just want to impart that, like
you can talk to him anywhere, anytime about anything. And
so and that also was like a twofold concept of
people who were praying to God for children that they've
(30:38):
wanted or for their children. You know. Again, I don't
have children. I taught preschool back in Florida, have ten
nieces and nephews, so I understand to an extent. But yeah,
that was just something that was always like, oh, I
mean I always want to write children's books, always, and
(30:58):
so I'm happy that it's It started with that. And
then when we were reading the book out and about
so many kids wanted to talk about their feelings, you know,
because they aren't seen or heard, and I know that
like obviously we're all kids at some point, and we
all are just big kids, and you know, but that
(31:18):
treating the soil is really important. And so I was like, oh,
the second book has to be about feelings. And when
I talk to God, I talk about feelings. So yeah,
I'm it's so wonderful because even if people don't believe
in God or they don't have a religious you know,
sort of aspect of their life, they're like, these are great,
(31:38):
great tools for me to be able to have a
conversation with my daughter and my son about feeling disappointed
or sad or excited or you know, things that we
can't name. If we can't name a feeling, we can't
communicate about it, and we can't honor that and feel
validated in that feeling. So yeah, it's just been it's
been really cool. And I've written to an album for
(32:00):
each book.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
That music that goes with it. I love that. I
bet I bet kids really enjoy that. I really it's
such a tender way to connect music with big messages.
Did you grow up in a house of feelings?
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Oh, we have feelings, but we didn't talk about them.
You know. It was we make a joke or we self.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Deprecate or you know, rush it under the rug, rush.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
On the rug, or I'm going to give you something
to cry about, like that is a famous line that
I heard. I'm like, wait, but I'm really sad about something.
You know, my parents were in the whole era of
kids are seen and not heard. If they don't feel
like their feelings even matter, how are they going to
know how to communicate about my feelings and know what
(32:50):
to do with my feelings? They're too big into like uh, intimidating.
So yeah, I mean it's interesting now because we we
joke a lot, like a lot of humor. You know,
the pain is really shrouded with humor my family, and
you know, you laugh and so you don't cry. But
(33:11):
you know, we're working on it. We're working on it.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
We're Yeah, it's hard to it's hard to express your
feelings in a house that doesn't feel safe. Yes, yeah,
for sure. How did you get your feelings out when
you were younger? Though, Like, oh I was a little chrissy.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Like oh gosh, well, I wrote a lot of like
poetry like middle school a little bit younger. I mean,
I definitely love music of all genres, So I think
that was really helpful. And I think that's why I'm
so transfixed on music now because it's so as you're saying, like, yeah,
it's all encompassing and very healing. But some music, yes,
(33:59):
was big. There's some music I'm like, it feels like torture. Yeah,
please please please, But you know, the stuff that you
resonate and you your frequency vibrates on for sure. But yeah,
I mean I also was sort of the jokes or
you know when yeah, the silly girl, And that's sort
(34:20):
of how I got through a lot of the feelings.
And I think, you know, obviously, I've had a food
issue all my life, and I think that has quite
a massive part in how I've handled things because I
just stuffed the feelings down with food. So you know,
it's a coping mechanism. It's not a good one, but
it is one.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
So yeah, I think food plays such a huge role
in people processing all kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, for sure, And because it's accessible and you have
to do it right, Like you have to eat to survive.
It's not like, oh, okay, I have to drink this
drink or I have to you know, smoke a cigarette
or whatever drug like you need food, so it makes
a little more.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Cunning your good word, good word for.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, I'm like, okay, I don't all right, all right,
all right? So you know it's and that again is
a process. And for me, it's like and I always
say mind, body, soul, spirit, because it's like all of
it it has to like fit like a puzzle. Because
sometimes I've had a couple of a couple of those
I'm like, oh, yeah, I got that handle, and I'm like, no,
(35:31):
you don't, you know, And I just sort of now,
like the puzzle pieces are like locking in.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
So how do you stop yourself from Like I'm literally curious,
like how like when you're in one of those spaces
where you don't feel like you have control, how do
you stop yourself?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
I think for me, it's before you even get to
that moment. And that's why like prayer, meditation, journaling, having therapy,
intuitively eating, knowing that I have like there is it's
been helpful for me because I was very much over
disciplined growing up and so I always thought like, oh
(36:10):
my gosh, like tracking macros and carbs and this and that,
and then this is so like I feel like I'm
just being disciplined, And then I realized, oh no, like
that discipline is absolute liberation, and so I don't have
to obsess about things specifically, well whatever, I change the food,
(36:32):
and so I know that food is not the issue,
it's the symptom. And so I'm like, Okay, what's really
going on? What's happening? Like did you not say something
you wanted to say to someone? Did you agree to
do something you didn't want to do? Did you defer
to someone that you know might have had more experience
than you, but you intuitively know it wasn't right?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
You know?
Speaker 2 (36:53):
So I just try to constantly what they say, uncovered, discovered, discard, right,
I'm like, okay, okay, if I do all these things, okay,
then I'm not going to the food for self soothing
or because I'm angry or can they say, like you
eat something crunch eats because you're angry. If you eat
something like ice cream, it's soothing, it's smooth, you know.
(37:16):
So all those things have a place in time. But
like if anything's disordered, which my food intake was for
a long time, I'm like, oh this isn't this isn't right.
So just trying to preempt any of that before it
to the I'm about to make a bad decision. I'm
going to regret, you.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Know, Yes, yes, yes, I've been there.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Yeah. And not to vilify food. I think so much
of our world is obsessed with weight to a degree
that it's like, if you're overweight, you are. It's just
the worst thing. It's the worst thing in the world.
But there are people who are, you know, unfortunately outwardly
(37:59):
thin but really going through a lot mentally, emotionally, or
not even eating at all, or you know, taking a
prescription drug and drinking diet cokes and smoking cigarettes. But
you're like, oh, but they're they're thin, so they're attractive.
And I'm like, but they're not healthy either. So it's
hard for everyone. Yeah, Like if you've been an ingenue
(38:21):
and you've looked a certain way and then you as
we age, it's like, it's silly to me that we
aren't more supported and with our elders and like the
knowledge and the experiences that they have had and they
can share with us, Like why is that not celebrated
so many other culture as it is here. It's like, oh,
God forbid you get a gray hair, God forbid you
(38:43):
you gain a pound God for you know, You're like,
why are we so transfixed on the vehicle and not
like what's inside? You know, to navigate it is like
a daily it's daily, sometimes it's hourly, you know, because
we can. It's just hard. I think everybody, no matter
(39:06):
where they've come from, what the career looked like, what
they want it to look like. And it doesn't even
have to be in entertainment. But you know, we all are.
All we want is to be loved. And we do
the things that we do because we want to be
respected because we want to be loved, you know. And
I have had to come to terms with like there
(39:28):
are people that are not going to like me. They
just aren't and whether they know me or not, and
I'm out a cup of tea, okay, you know, and
it's not personal. And that's such a big thing for
me becoming, you know, out of my people pleasing nonsense
and realizing that I'm just I'm just a person trying
to figure this out too. And if I can have
(39:48):
grace for other people, I can have it for myself,
right And none of us know what we're doing, you know,
so like why do we talk or about that as
opposed to like the highlight reel on Instagram that makes
people feel so like alone. I know, I watch videos
(40:09):
and I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to be
doing this and I need to be doing that.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, it's so it's not a good feeling.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
No, it's not. And so then I have to like, Okay,
let me reprogram what I'm really thinking, Like, what do
I need to be doing in my life? Is it
because I knew that I should have woken up earlier
to go to the gym, and now I feel bad
And so now I'm jealous that this person put themselves
first and they have the discipline that I didn't put
in this morning. Because when things really like strike a nerve,
(40:38):
it's it's because usually of my own stuff or if
I'm jealous or if I feel whatever fill in the
blank with whatever emotion. At that second, I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no,
no no, because at the core of who I am
and who I want to be is like happy for people, right,
And I also know that I can't take anything away
(40:59):
from someone it's meant for them and vice versa. So
I know that. And also when I'm grateful for the
things that I have. What's so cool is that the
more you receive, the more grateful you are, true, which
is like such an incredible concept. But again, sort of
(41:21):
separating the feeling from the fact, you know, is hard,
and especially when we're going through whatever it is that
we're going through, like you name it, we've got it all,
you know, and nobody, nobody's exempt from that. So yeah, again,
there's a lot of tools in that toolbox. She's heavy
(41:42):
that box. That toolbox.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
I can't even lift my box.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Yeah, I know. I'm like, I can't even open them.
I'm like, oh my gosh. But I know that when
I put those things into practice, I'm I'm a better
I'm better for it.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
And do you this is what I do when I'm
not practicing what I know I need to be practicing
for my best life, my well being, my healthiest me.
I am so ashamed and I feel guilty and I'm
angry at myself.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Yes, yeah, and you project that anger to someone else.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
And then there go your relationships.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
And there we go and then what we're alone sad
and angry. Knows.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
I know, for a while that can be nice, like
on the couch, sure, but then you kind of get
sick of that, and you gotta think, like, Okay, what
do I need to do to get the life I want?
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Yes? Yes, And sometimes the things that we don't want
to do, yeah, at least in the moment, and then
we realize, oh, this was advantageous. Okay, next time, I
hope to do that again. But it is all a process.
That's why you know, it's important to have grace for yourself.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Absolutely, I mean the most important thing, yeah, for yourself
and for others, because, like you said before, we don't
know what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
No, don't. A therapist always says, she's like, if you
were feeling bad, Chrissie, why would you throw another arrow
into your heart? You're feeling bad for feeling bad, You're
just like hurting.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
It's like it's like this, Yeah, it's like a self
inflicting some sort of reward. Yeah, I know there's no reward.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I know.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I was like, was I absent when whatever that thing
in the brain was given out? Because why can't I?
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Why can't I have said that so many times, like
why does everybody else get to be happy? And I
can't fucking figure it out.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
It's wild, it's wild. And then you know, we know
that we put these tools into action.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
It changes, It changes things, doesn't not challenging. I just
love Chrissy though. There's so much more to talk about,
So watch for part two of this episode. And you
know what, As always, if you subscribe right now to
I Choose Me, you'll never miss a single moment.
Host
Jennie Garth
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