August 21, 2024 • 52 mins
In this compelling episode, Jennie is joined by "That Thing You Do!" actor, Johnathon Schaech to have an honest and deep conversation about one of his biggest "I Choose Me" moments - his choice to get sober. The two also discuss the topic of "shame" and how they've both experienced it, and Johnathon opens up about what brings him the most gratitude in life today.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,
welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about
the choices we make and where they lead us. You know,
on this podcast, I like to explore and I like
to get to know different people that have maybe walked
(00:23):
a different path than myself, because that's the way to
learn from listening to others. Other people's journeys can really
be enlightening and inspirational as we're all just navigating this
life the best that we know how. We're all just
doing our best. My guest today is an actor. You
(00:46):
know him from his role in the hit movie That
Thing You Do, and he stars in the TV show
Blue Ridge On I insp he has had such a
layered and fascinating life and you know what, I want
to die right into it. Please welcome Jonathan Check to
the I Choose Me Podcast. I'm really so glad that
(01:06):
you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Well, I'm really grateful to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You have done something that I have always wanted to do.
You got the hell out of Dodge. You moved out
of the thunderdome and went to peaceful grounds. What has
that been like for you? When did you do that
and what has that experience been like for you.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Well, when my son started looking at schools, we you know,
we had to start looking at schools in Los Angeles
and and that kind of opened up the whole idea
of possibly moving out of Los Angeles. He's dyslexic, just
like I am, and I didn't want him to struggle
like I did. So schools in LA there were some
(01:54):
great schools, but it was it wasn't gonna be easy
to get into those schools. And it was kind of
like this whole thing that I didn't want to have to
live my life like. And so when we came out
to Nashville, Tennessee, we visited a couple of schools. My
wife is from Nashville, and by the time we left
one of the schools there were like with Kim and
like to come. I was like, yeah, that's yeah, he
(02:18):
would love to come. So we moved out here Abound
twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. My wife's from here, so we
got family here for the children. It's been it's been peaceful.
It's a good word, very peaceful. I'm surrounded by horse
farms where I live.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Oh, I'm so jealous, right, Now I don't care about
fancy bags or shoes. That that is what I care about.
Peaceful nature, serenity. I love that. That is good. So
you're saying I should do that, Just move get out
of the.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Really fit right in here. Here, Jason's here, he's down
the street.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Oh my god, you're yes right, your name papers with Jason,
Jason Prisley. For everybody that doesn't know, that is amazing.
I would love to be neighbors with Jason.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And a plate studio.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
That she's building her own plate studio. It's amazing. Good
for them, well, good for all of you.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Wow, I know exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That was the very smart. Something that's very important to
me and very important to our listeners is health and
fitness and just living, trying to live our best life, right,
And just one glance at your social media and I
was caught by the fact that you're actually a bona
(03:40):
fide bodybuilder, like a competitive bodybuilder. Now you can call
yourself a competitive bodybuilder after the age of fifty. That
is saying a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Wow. Yeah, well, I don't know about a bodybuilder, but
come on, I trained really hard and last year before
the strike, and I knew the strike was coming and
I knew I was going to be just my brain
was needed some help and some focus. So I asked
a good friend of mine, Michael O'Hearn, and I know
Michael for thirty years, but it was on my show
(04:10):
Blue Ridge, and he said he would train me to
be this further bodybuilding contest up the street here in Franklin.
And for about six weeks, I trained and dieted just
like a professional bodybuilder, and I went out there and
I won the contest.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It was extream come true.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
You know. It was like small town bodybuilding contest, were.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You like all spray tnd and body oiled up exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I've never done anything like that before. It was so unique.
The best part was having my two little ones out
there screaming for me. That was hotly quite magnificent.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh my god, that sounds like so much fun. I mean,
you know our bodies. I mean as a woman, my
body has changed so much after I turned fifty, and
it continues to change. What it feels like daily as
a man. What has your experience been with aging and
your body?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, it was harder to you know, lose that weight
that I you don't want to have that I couldn't
actually have, you know, for what I do for a
living is you know, we have to look at it.
So and I'm not going They're not going to hire
me for any other reason. So I have to train
and keep my body fit. And I'm going to my
(05:30):
television show. I have to do a lot of stunts
and a lot of action. So I trained myself like
a professional athlete. At you know, I turned fifty five
years old, so yeah, I know how important. We just
got to keep going. There's no reason why we can't
be better off now than we were then, since we're
more motivated now.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's so true. It's the motivation now because you know,
this is our second act as they call it, and
we want it to be just as good as the
first One's right, maybe better?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, definitely want to be better.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
What is your healthy like your diet? How do you
keep that in control? Because that's hard for me.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, it's difficult. I So what I what I learned
through from the bodybuilding contest is that my body works
really well with just proteins. So I eat five meals
a day with enough protein to maintain and grow my
muscle size. So I take supplements for everything else, and
I try not to put anything else to my body.
I'll go for it's amazing. I can go out for
(06:32):
a dinner like anybody else, but I'll eat before we leave,
and then I'll get a piece of salmon or chicken.
I just eat pretty, leaning clean, leaning clean.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
How many grams of protein? I'm really curious about this
protein topic. How many grams of protein are you shooting
for a day?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So five meals six ounces or more, six to six
to seven ounces if I'm dieting hard, eight ounces if
I'm not so. Forty eight ounces of protein.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
That's a lot of protein.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah. I do thing. I wake up in the morning
and I do this pancake and it's awesome. I have
protein powder, right, I put egg whites with protein powder
and shake it up and I pour it on a
plate and then I zap it in the microwave for
like no, Yeah, I zap it rises up like a cake,
(07:25):
comes back down, and then I'll eat that for my
morning breakfast.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, that's that's a good tip, people.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
And I put zero sugar syrup on it, and I'm
feel like I'm eating pancakes.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You're so happy, everybody. I love that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I can't wait to wake up.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Ten years ago, you made probably one of the biggest
I Choose me decisions of a lifetime. You chose to
get sober. What made you realize you were ready for that?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know, I had, I had tried numerous times to
get sober. I go to meetings and wouldn't click. I
couldn't I couldn't really respond. I wasn't responding to the
what everyone was talking about in those meetings. I kept
going back, and then I met my wife, Julie, and
she was pregnant, and I kept looking in the mirror
(08:24):
at myself, saying, who's this guy? You know? Like this?
Am I going to continue doing the things that I've
done in the past? And am I going to ruin
this like I've ruined everything else in my life? And
I just decided that I wasn't use any substance and
I was gonna stop drinking alcohol completely out of my system.
And then I started realizing how much poison it was
(08:45):
and what I was doing. It was poisoned my body,
and I just I was I just stopped. I quit
and stopped meetings. I kept going to meetings, got a
great sponsor, and I started to find what they call
the miracle in the program.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, that's that's very admirable. I saw that you recently
posted that your you have your ten year chip.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You got my a ten year chip.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's a big deal, that's a decade.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah. Yes, I went to a meeting here in Nashville.
I hadn't gone to I had gone as an AA
a couple of AA meetings, but I do. I do
different programs, and I found other programs to be more
beneficial for me. But I went to an AA one here.
It's pretty popular here, and I wanted to collect my
ten year chip. I thought it was powerful, you know,
(09:34):
for me to go there and uh and I got
there and they made the announcement, you know, and I
would raise my hand. And I went out there to
collected and everyone's plotting and everything. Didn't have a chip.
They didn't have a ten year chip.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
What I know, I didn't have to have the chip.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
No physical ten year chip. And they were like, oh
my god, I'm so sorry, you don't have to take
a chip. I was like, okay, well, let's find that
was that's how it's supposed to be. So my wife
got me a ten year chip online.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh I love that story. Yeah, speaking of your wife,
she's been beautiful.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, you would love my wife, I can tell.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, I delved into her Instagram also. She seems like
a really neat lady. Yeah, a really special person. You
guys are so glad you found each other.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, you guys are very similar.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
How did you meet? I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
We met here at Nashville, Tennessee, at a Make a
Wish charity foundation. So I used to always come back,
I think only the Nashville over twenty years, and I
became really good friends with Jada Marcus and he's in
the band Rascal Flats and he has this him and
Kevin Carter had this Make a Wish charity foundation. I
don't always show up every it was like every April
(10:45):
and I was with the boys from Rascal Flats and
Julie was there and said hi and kind of clicked.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
And right away, right away it was just.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Like she's she's a I kept thinking to myself, like
she's out of my like she's.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Better than me, she's out of your league.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Out of my league, Yeah, out of my league. And
then no fact, she kept wanting to be around me.
So we made it official.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
And that's amazing. And was that around you said that
was kind of around the same time that you was
a few years later that you got sober. Was she
an integral part of that.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah. In the first year that we were together, I
was definitely abusing drugs and alcohol still like I was
a young kid in Hollywood, thinking that that was the
way to entice and this girl. But yeah, I started
to be able to see that that wasn't the truth
(11:45):
and it was wasn't becoming of me to be that
individual anymore. And I wanted to be more than I
wanted to be more for me me, first for her,
and then turned out to be for our for our
son and then our daughter, and I'm very grateful to
be so we're still to this day.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Oh it's like fate brought her to you just the
right time when you are open and ready to make
some big changes in your life.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah. Yeah, she definitely. She made me think that I
was in the same league as her, and that it
was worth fighting for the things that I always dreamed
of and that God was still by my side, still
with me. She proved it over time, not that God
(12:32):
needs to be proven, but what good things happened to
you and things. You know, you feel that you feel
love in your life again, you know, you know, it's
just not you in this world.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It breaks down the walls that we've put up probably
you know, and it sort of breaks down also the
shame that we put on ourselves and we live life
through that shame. Lens, like you said, like I'm not
good enough for her, She's out of my league. Yeah,
these things were never true.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
It's interesting. The shame was is what I've given up
for the last seven years of my life. And I
know I had a lot to do with like being
married and thinking that by previous marriage is that it
had to be a certain thing, and then when it
didn't turn out to be the thing, I had so
much shame around it. You know. In my first wedding,
I had a Catholic priest marry us as well as
(13:26):
Breva and Michael beck With from Agape, so they both
were there, you know, but I was getting married in
the Catholic faith, and you know, that's so much shame
of associated to divorce and everything around it. So I yeah,
that was that was a big part of that shame
that I was carrying around for such a long time.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, I can definitely relate. I had a long marriage
and three beautiful children with a man, and then when
we got divorced, I felt so shameful. I felt I
carried around this shame, which manifested into you know, anger
at myself, anger at other people. It manifested into insecurities,
(14:05):
It manifested in so many unbeneficial characteristics. But I think
that's that's at the root of so much of our unrest.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Absolutely, Well, she sounds like an angel.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I think she is.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I think she is too. Do you think that your
addiction affected your career throughout the years.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Absolutely. And I have to remind myself when things are
going well, I only have myself to blame, you know,
And I can point to things that caused my addiction,
which I've been able to do since I've been sober
figured out the whys. But I still take responsibility for
being that individual that wasn't showing up when I needed
(14:49):
to really show up. You know, these opportunities came up
and I didn't. You know, So you can't say, like,
I mean I didn't win the audition or something like that,
like I wasn't present fully in my my genius to
be able to get what I was supposed to get,
you know, what was supposed to come to me. I
wasn't open to being the most authentically true self that
(15:10):
I could be.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Right, it was like covering up your gifts, like the
gifts that you were given of being able to emote
and you know, touch people in the way that you
have to be able to do as an actor.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, I wasn't connected to the source.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, and do you think I'm sorry, I'm getting real personal.
Do you think your addiction played a role or a
part in your relationships not working?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah? I think the shame had a bigger part of it.
But the addictions, yeah, they're prevalent. They were prevalent. I
was using in both relationships prior to previous relationships. They
had a big part of it.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah. There are so many people out there that you
know are struggling or know someone that they love who
is struggling with addiction. I'm wondering, as a person who
has been through it on the level that you have
and changed your life in such a significant way, what
(16:17):
would you say to a person who's struggling right now,
like one of our listeners, even just one person who's
listening like what would you want them to hear?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
So I didn't think I had a problem drinking, right,
I thought I could stop drinking, Like I could stop
for months, wasn't a big deal. What was going on
was I would start to drink, not like a crazy
person where I wake up every morning with a flask
in my hand. What it was, it was numbing myself
every time that I started getting closer to these whys.
(16:47):
Why it wasn't my most authentic self, like the best
version of me. And I was okay not being that
version that you know, I was okay not being okay.
So it really wasn't about the alcohol. But when I
was able to get past it and give it time,
I was able to understand why I was doing that.
(17:09):
I was able to change to be more of who
I really am.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
The person you want to be.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yeah, that I always wanted to be and always known
that I was. And I identify my whys and when
when we when I work with anyone in the program,
I always want to get to these whys because unconsciously,
these things are coming back up and taking us off
of our path. You know, it's the alcohol is is
(17:37):
like the cover up to us not being able to
really look at ourselves and loving that part of ourselves
that's shame h And that's you know, every tough guy
out there is like, you know, oh, problem drinking. It's
not really about the alcohol. If you're if you're continually
ruining your.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Life, you need to there's a why why? Yeah, And
it's not just alcohol, it's drugs, it's sex, like whatever
your addiction, food, whatever you default to to make yourself
feel better or to hide that shame, or to mask
what's really going on so that you don't have to
(18:16):
be in it, because that's so uncomfortable to really look
inside and ask yourself why. I think that's super powerful.
You have kids. I have kids. You have young kids.
That's got to keep you very active. Yeah, are a
(18:39):
ten and four? I think is what you said.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, I get a ten year old boy and a
four year old little girl.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh my god, I can tell you love being a dad.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I'm very grateful to be a father.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It just puts everything in perspective. It does, it is
the why, like it becomes your why. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I'm so grateful that I'm present with my children and
all that work that I did and get rid of
all that chaos and all that poison I was putting
in my body so that I could be present with
my children. And I'm grateful to still be alive. If
I want to continue down the path, I wouldn't be
able to be here with them.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I think at the end of the day. That's what
it always comes back to is gratitude. Yeah, that acknowledging
the things in your life that you are so grateful for.
It just opens you up to a whole new world
of your experience here. Oh my gosh, I love it
that you got to be a dad. That's really great.
(19:46):
I get this question all the time. Would you let
your kids become actors or be in our industry if.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
They wanted to, well they really wanted to learn the
craw aft, if they wanted to be artists m hmm yeah,
and if they were willing to also learn the business
our business. I would really encourage both of those mm hmm.
(20:17):
You know this quick world that we live in social
media and that's a different form of fame or you know,
like we didn't we were actors. You know, we were
striving to like tell the truth, you know, in our work,
and that that I would encourage and I you know,
(20:38):
I don't know if the business is safer than when
we first started.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
But I like to hope, So I like to hope.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
So yeah, I think. I like to think that I
I made it better than what I found it, So
I would, I would encourage them. It's a great life,
the start of living. So you're a great example. Look
at you, how you live your life. It's awesome. You
just NonStop. You just a fighter, man. I love it.
You know, actor is an act that they just learn
(21:06):
how to fight for themselves, some of them, not all
of them.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, it's that moment when you're on camera and you're
in a scene and you're in that character shoes and
that connection with your co star. That's the moment that
keeps me coming back.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I know, you got to come out and do Blue
Ridge with me.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
It sounds like a dream. Shoot.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
It's so much fun. We have a blast.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I bet you do. Yeah, I want to skip ahead
to that, but I'm going to come back to something else.
I want to skip ahead to Blue Ridge for a second,
because this is a role that you've played before in
a movie, and you're now doing a series based on
the movie. You're playing the same character. What is it
about that character? What's the character's name, Sheriff Justin, Justin
(21:55):
Justin Wise, that's a good character name. What is it
about him that made you want want to come back?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah? So I'd never really explored a character like this before.
I've never been a leading man of my own show, right,
So when they brought it back to me and I
was like, you know it, it is the first role
that I had ever played where I did not walk
away every day feeling a sense of shame.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
It was the first what do you mean shame?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
So I always from my previous experience in the film industry,
I had a great deal of shame associated to performance,
and I had done a lot of work on that.
I did a lot of brain spotting, like it did
a lot of therapy, did a lot of work on
not not carrying that into my life, using my life
(22:47):
for my art, but not like beating myself up afterwards.
I would beat myself to tears. It was ridiculous. I
thought it was part of the process.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And just like those thoughts of like I'm not good enough,
I shouldn't be doing this, it just.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
The weight of carrying that forward. It was just like,
you know, I think at one point maybe it was
a survival trait that I had gotten where I was
trying to always make sure the next time I got
out there, I performed really well. But I realized I
didn't need to be that way anymore, and I left.
I left Hollywood and literally moved to Nashville, and it
was the first role that came to me, and I
(23:26):
performed it and I had a great experience. I was
very connected to the crew, my cast, and the experience
and the character of Justin Wise, he's his old school.
It's very much like my father, like I've become my
father where I was born in the city police officer.
Justin is that character that runs to the problem and
(23:51):
there for others. I embraced it and I loved it.
And when they came back and said they wanted to
make it into a television series, I was first off
was we make sure they wanted me, and they did,
and then just checking checking, just shoot me want me
to come back? And they were like everyone they said
the network and everyone really loved what I did with
(24:15):
Justin and it was the big success for their network
and they wanted to continue to make it into a series,
and so we did six episodes in season one and
they're out right now every Sunday on itsp at nine pm.
And I play the character Justimize that I've played before.
So yeah, I get to play my dad.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
That's got to be so rewarding, especially now that you
have this core of gratitude, like you appreciate it so
much more now.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I bet, yeah, I do. I appreciate I really appreciate
it so much. But all the other chaos, all this
stuff I can't control out. I don't bother with it
it anymore. And if it starts to come up with me,
I just I let it go. Okay with with with
not knowing? Does it make sense? I'm okay with going
(25:09):
into the unknown.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
That's true. What do you do to yourself in those
moments when you need to squash those voices that you're
so familiar with, those negative voices, Well.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
If I can't get rid of them, like through a
workout mm hmm or we're talking to my wife, I'll
call my sponsor m hm and talk talk. Yeah. My
sponsor is great. He's a brain surgeon. Oh nice, I know,
and he just kind of sets things very clear and quick.
(25:44):
And I just realized, like that's where I am. That's
what that's what I've done with my life. I've gotten
to the place where I can actually reach out and
not be alone, because that's probably the biggest problem with
most addicts is there they fight these things alone. I
work with a program. You get a bunch of people
that are similar to you. You know, they may be
(26:04):
completely different, but they're on the same path as you,
and so you reach out to them and they're there
for you, and they put you right in line, right
back in place where you need to be. And he
under understands shame so well he can set me. Like
one time I had a I had an audition and
I had to do it the next day, and I'm dyslexic.
(26:25):
I cannot, from the life of me, like two things quick.
It's probably been and I've learned that's never gonna happen.
I'm never going to be good at it.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
And I'm like quick memorizing things.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
That quick thing like if it's tomorrow, you know, two
page monologue, it's it's you know, it's gonna be really hard.
I mean I could get through it. They have to
be willing. And so I had this audition the next
day and I just went absolutely mad. I don't know
what it was, but there was something about this force
(26:55):
to put having to put me in this audition spot, like,
you know, without any time, and it felt like the
whole world was against me again and how could they
do this? And who I was just going nuts.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
It sounds like you were really regressing into that victim mentality.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yes, exactly, yeah, yeah. And I made a couple of
phone calls and they they just they heard me. They
said the right things. They you know, one of my
I haven't more than one sponsor, but my main sponsor
out here, I called my LA sponsor and he was great.
He just said, well, that's not fair, you know, like
(27:34):
why do they have to do that. They can give
you more time. Just him saying that made me feel
better enough to actually do the performance. And I did
great job the next day, so I didn't carry any
of that shame into that after I was saved by
my fellows. As they say that.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
It was, Yeah, it was fighting to get in there,
though I was really trying to mess you up and
derail you.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
That's so good when you have that personspective of the
power of being able to talk back to those negative
voices when you develop that power and that ability and
just able to acknowledge those are just thoughts that aren't
helpful to me anymore.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, I wish I would have done that earlier. Right
now and then with our children, I want to be
able to be that boys. You realize it's so hard
to get them to hear that at these young ages,
and you know, they got to have their own experience
to get there.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
I know, but they are at such a great advantage
to have your wisdom that you've gained, because some people
go through life and they don't ever get to the
point where you are and your kids are. So I
think this all the time too, like there are light
years ahead of what I was able to do at
that age, just because they have the support system and
(28:52):
they have me wanting to share my knowledge and my
experiences and my wisdoms with them. Whether they listen or not,
whether I have to say it four hundred times or not,
that's a different story. But yeah, they have to go
and live their life. But I think that that the
cornerstone of that support of a very present parent is
(29:14):
they're just they're so much better off than we were.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, you know, there's a The word in therapy is
generational trauma. Might continue that the generational stuff that I
was put that was placed upon me. I stopped that,
and maybe I'm giving him new trauma. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Probably, Oh my god, it'll end up there'll be in
therapy talking about us any minute as mine. Speaking of therapy,
what you you mentioned that you did EMDR and brain spotting.
I know what EMDR is, and I think it's such
a valuable modality of that kind of therapy, really effective.
(29:53):
If you guys don't know what EMDR is, definitely looking up.
But you also said something about brain spotting and I'm
not familiar with that. Can you you tell us what
that is?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
You know, it's very similar like they they follow you
fall like a stick and there's a guided meditation basically
to bring you back to a certain point in your
life that you need to address. And for me, I
don't know if you listeners can handle this or not,
but I was actually molested when I was twenty two
years old on a screen test in Rome by director
(30:25):
Franco Zefarelli. It just just screwed me up, like for
a long time. So I was able to address it
and the one way I was able to get to
that experience and stand up to it again was brain spotting.
So I had an incredible therapist that like guided me
to the point of when you know I was violated
(30:48):
and why I froze, and why I didn't stop him
right like, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Kill him in that moment.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
In that moment, And that's that's what I did with
brain spodies. So we found that where that was in
my body and my soul basically, but really probably in
my spotting. It in my brain, so the right brain
and the left side it was. I can't remember exactly
what that was, but that's what brain spotting is. So
I was able to get to that place and heal
(31:20):
that part of me and talk about it.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Really, Oh my god, that work is not easy. So
I really applaud you for seeking the help to go there.
You know, that's that's it's not an easy decision. It's
not an easy choice to make. It sucks, it's hard,
it feels awful to go so deep into those traumas
that have truly affected our whole lives.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, I've spoke out about it, and I'm I'm a
survivor and I speak out openly about it. So it's
not like everyone needs to like, oh my god, poor Jonathan.
I've worked really hard and I share that because I
know there's probably one individual who's struggling with that and
being male, being in a very masculine role on a
(32:07):
television shore series where you don't want to mess with
my character. You still don't want to mess with my character.
But you know, being a man in this in that
world is survival world. It's a difficult world, but you
know you're stronger when you get to the other side
of it, for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, I mean, man, woman, I don't think it matters
when you've been violated that way. It does really mess
you up. Yeah, it does in so many like layered ways.
I read that article. By the way, when you first
decided to talk about it, how did you feel after
you shared that story with the world.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Well, I was frightened. It was really scared. I thought
I would never work again, work for a long time.
That's why I started making some phone calls to people
and telling him like, you know, I think I just
I don't think like everyone was like, oh god, you
know what the age just share. I think it was
more like it's just a competitive business, and everyone else
(33:04):
was able to move their their bodies in front of it,
like you're competing non stop. So I just wasn't getting
the same opportunity as I was before, and I was
frightened that no one was able to see me anymore.
And I knew what I needed to do is to
work harder on myself so that I could get more
(33:25):
in the light, that I could be more open to
what what I shared. And I did. I worked really
hard on myself, stayed sober and worked really hard and
got more and more in the light so that I
could be seen. And that's how my show came about.
You know, it was my parents was exactly what I did.
(33:46):
He embraced it. He was like, this is my hero,
this is this is what I want from my character
and my show's hero, someone who's that strong, and I
the same thing with the net work. They really supported
me and brought me on bropping back for the series.
You know exactly what I had shared, So it was empowering.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's got to feel so good. I mean,
not only did you speak openly about it in order
to help other people who it's maybe happened to to
sort of connect and share and take the shame element
out of it, but then to have your personal life
(34:31):
and your work life flourish after you did that work. Yeah, yep,
that is so inspirational.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah. Yeah, I did the work.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
So the work.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I did the work and got through the dark, through
the its a bit abyss, and I got out to
the light, made that journey and carried the torch. Now
I'm holding it strong for everyone else to see.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
And it's so nice to hear that your employers, if
you will, like your producer, your boss, is your network
that everybody has embraced it and they've expressed how proud
of you they are and how much they support you.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
That kind of talking about stuff that we don't want
to talk about or you know, I know what happened,
but let's not discuss it. Like the act of actually
just talking about that with people that you work with
or that you care about or that you depend on,
Like that's such a freeing feeling. And you're so lucky
(35:37):
to have found those people to support you.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I know it was. It was amazing. Like you ever
study you ever read Brene Brown? Oh? Yeah, so she
talks about going in the wilderness and I felt like
I went into the wilderness and how it's in the
you know, the thick of the trees and like the
darkest places. After I shared my story and then I
(36:02):
was able to find the path and get out. And
I didn't do it alone. People helped me.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
It's so true. It's that connective tissue right that everybody's
having the same human experience. We try to think where
we tend to think that it's just me, I'm the
only one that's going through this. Nobody has any understanding
of what I'm going through dealing with, but in reality,
we're all dealing with the same things, just in a
different situation circumstances.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
I've shared human experience and the amount of people that
reached out to me since then, it's been amazing. I've
helped people like I could literally say that I helped
people find the life.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Yes, that's the best feeling. We were talking about like
talking about stuff and being open and sharing like our
darkest moments or our biggest challenges with people. I recently
had my ex husband Peter on this podcast, and I
(37:10):
went into it not knowing what was going to come
out of it, and it was actually through us sitting
down and talking with one another about the meat of
it that it brought. It brought us so much closer.
And then when our listeners and people in the world
heard that story, I feel like, you know, because we
(37:34):
really struggled as co parents all these years, and we
really covered all of that up in the public's eye.
But once we talked about it, and once we shared
it with the community of listeners that we have here,
it was it lifted something off of me, like that
burden off my shoulders or that whatever I was carrying
(37:55):
around that was making us be have that tension with
one another.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah, So you're leading by example also by just talking
about things like this openly and if yeah, if you
reach one person by sharing your story or your stories,
that's the best feeling. Yeah, relationships are tricky. You've been
married a few times. I've been married a few times.
They're not easy. They're not easy. In the industry that
(38:24):
we work in, there's so much time away from one another,
and there's a lot of different things that you have
to add in there. But I did hear that you.
I know that you are remarried now to Julie, but
Julie is best friends with your ex wife Jana also
very confusing with the two j's. I gotta say, Janna,
(38:46):
you could have picked a different letter. But okay, but
they're best friends, Like, how does that? How did that
happen for you? And how did that feel?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
You know? They met at the Maker with Charity Foundation,
the same place Julie, So the two of them met.
And my wife is just very open and loving and she,
you know, she became friends with Jenna for a long
period of time. We kinda moved out to Nashville, Tennessee.
I think she remarried recently. But so we've lived these
(39:19):
you know, lives, and it's all good.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
It does not feel good, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
It's all good. I love it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
It's all good. It's so much better than this is
so hard, you know, Yeah, just the mindset change alone
can change everything.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
My wife is just very open and loving, and you know,
she's tough too. She's not a pushover. So she she
sees the best in people and she's great at it.
She brings the best out of people too.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I love that. One of the things my husband told
me once was that I make him want to be
a better man. Yeah, and that as a wife and
just as a friend, it made me feel so valuable
to him that that carries me through and keeps me
wanting to him to feel that way. You know.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah, my wife makes me want to be a better
man as well.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Hm, that's really good.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
And she she's the first person to say, like, you know,
all this working down yourself is the most attractive thing
about you.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Right, yeah, it really is. As you get older, that
whole like moody, mysterious, dangerous, you know, problematic guy is
less and less appealing. So now you're just like to her,
I'm sure that is so admirable. I mean to me,
(40:46):
it's so admirable to everyone that's heard your story is
what you've done, the way you've turned your life around,
is truly admirable and inspiring. And I know that our
listeners are going to well really hear that. And just
the genuineness that you speak about it with. You're not
talking about this so that you can be more famous
(41:08):
or get more likes or whatever people talk about things for.
You're talking about this because you have to talk about it,
because it's who you are.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's what I told my, That's what I told Amy My.
I hired a pblicist for Blue Ridge, and I was
just like, I have to. Look, I want to help
promote the show whatever I can, but I really need
to tell my story. I have to. It's part of
my DNA right now, like it's part of me. I
have to share this because I know that it will
(41:39):
open people up.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, that's that's what we want to do. We want
to connect. And when when your fans or your viewers
feel like they can connect to you and relate to
you on that deeper level, it's so much more valuable.
I know the relationship that I have with a lot
of my long term fans and supporters like they feel
(42:01):
like my family. And as much as I share what
I do in hopes to inspire them, them acknowledging it
and giving me their stories sharing their stories with me,
it inspires me. So it's this beautiful, like cyclical exchange
of just like good energy.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Wow, that's beautiful. So you've you've had a relationship with
fans for such a long time. Yeah, did a lot
of people stick around all these years?
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I mean it's bananas. The super fans of the OG
nine on two to zero from the nineties, I see
them at all the time, and I correspond with them
and I love connecting with them, like they feel like
a part of me, and I'm so grateful to them.
And like, I know, I would not have had the
(42:56):
career that I've had. I wouldn't have this outlook that
I have at this point in my life without that
kind of love and support. So tap into that. You
know you are doing You're you're doing great, and yeah,
you have to promote your show because you want people
to see it and enjoy it. You work really hard
on it, but at the same time, that's not your
(43:17):
only motive and that comes through, right, So you're doing great.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
The fan things so neat. I never really had that
people like my movie, I've been in that thing you
do fans, but we don't have like I think I
wasn't on television for a period of time. Like I
think people will find justin why is my character and
really start to find him and me and see the
connection and be able to share with me. I would
(43:43):
love that that happened with my fans. I'll put that
out there. I would love to do it that.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Just keep connecting with them because they want to connect
with you.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
I'm so used to I was. I've always been so
scared of fans. I think why, you know, I had
a stalker, so there was always about the looking at
the mail and there were always horrible things that the
stalker was doing. So yeah, I think I just always
like didn't want to connect with these people because they
(44:15):
was afraid that there was danger there.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Well, you know, there are scary people out there, that
is true.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
There's a loving people too, and I did. We don't
have social back then. You know, socials are I do
connect with people now. I do love the people that
connect with me. And They've been there since socials at
least when I started doing socials and I could see
them and I'm like, hey, I got a series I'm doing. Now,
Oh what's the series?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
You know, Yeah, it's the best. It's like your support
group and you inspire them, and then by them loving
you and sharing with you, they inspire you. It's the best.
Just you're so on the right path. I'm so excited
for you in your life. And you know, once again,
it really really inspired by your story and your bravery
to not only share those dark places, but to do
(45:06):
the work that it takes to get out of them,
because nothing changes if nothing changes. So kudos to you,
my friend, I'm curious what this is a question I
like to answer myself. But what is it when you
lay your head down on the pillow at the end
of your day. What is it that goes through your
(45:26):
mind before you fall asleep.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Well, if I start thinking about any of the things,
I usually go through the Baltimore Orioles lineup.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
So that's your guy.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
I've just tried to do things that I have no
control over and don't really matter. I will rest because
if I think about sometimes, I'll go over the lines
for the next day. Have you done that.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I've slept with my my sides under my pillow every
so many times. But it's like it's gonna it's gonna
come magically into my brain if I just sleep on it.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Yeah. Yeah, I've done that so many times. And I
do that a lot more sane than I used to
do trying to memorize lines. I could, you know. I
used to think that I couldn't memorize them. When I
realize it was not. I'm not that being anymore. I
have to let them in me. Yeah. So yeah, I
do definitely run my lines over in my head. And
if I can't remember them, oh, sometimes I might get
(46:28):
wake up and go, you know, look at them, turn
the light on, try to see in the middle of
the night, what was that line I was trying to memorize.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Oh, the life of an actor.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, that's the one thing people always like that. One
of the first things they always ask me is do
you memorize your lines?
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
I'm like, well, that's a good question. It just becomes
part of like just you have to do it, so
you just start really start to get into that dialogue.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yeah. I think it's with like with most things, the
more you use it, the better it gets that muscle
whatever it is inside our brains for the memory of
our lines. Like if you keep using it, it just
it's like more automatic somehow.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Yeah, you're good at it, aren't you. I am a
quick You have a lot of You've always had a
lot of lines.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Yeah. But every time i'm it's like showtime, whatever it is,
an interview, an appearance, a scene, whatever it is. I
always panic inside and think, oh my god, I don't know,
I can't do this, and just like you, I have
to say, hey, shut it not helpful.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
And when your co star says their line, you know
your line, it.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Just comes if you're in the moment, if it's yeah.
So I love that part. Okay. I always ask everybody
this that comes on our podcast, Jonathan, what was your
last I Choose Me moment?
Speaker 2 (47:54):
You know, I chose me when I hired my publicist.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I know that it would be tough to get press
during the summer and they were putting a show out
and I really wanted people beyond just lurage to hear
my story, and I choose I choose me moment was
when I hired a publicist.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
That's a good one because at first it doesn't sound
like that, like I choose me, but it's a big expense. Yeah,
and you do have to be willing to put yourself
out there like never before.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
And she's she's always been very special to me. She
worked with my with Christina in the beginning of her career,
and I would hear how she strategically would plan these
things out and I never had anyone like do that
with me. And I was like, well, I never had
my own show like this. It was always short. It
was always a movie, never like a long lead. Well,
(49:03):
you know, you have to do it for the next season.
All that stuff. So she and she moved out here
in Nashville, Tennessee, and I thought, we are so in line.
This is the right thing to do. And when it
came down to doing it, I had to really choose
me over everything else. So that's and also I get
up every morning, go work out. That's to choose me
(49:24):
moment as well.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
Every morning.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
What time, well I dumped my son off at school usually,
and then I go train.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Both very very admirable. I choose me moments. Thank you
so much for taking the time to talk today to us,
and wow, I really look forward to watching Blue Ridge.
I had never heard about it until I started researching
you and the clips that I've seen on your social
It looks like my kind of show, and it looks good,
you know, like it's good stuff.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
It is. It's you know. I can watch it with
my ten year old and my eighty five year old
father and everyone gets the hea a little bit of
something in it. It's got romance, action, It's a good show.
People really like it.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
It's God well, I like you.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
You have a lot of heart too. I can tell
all my best to you and your beautiful family.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Say to you, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
You're welcome. That conversation with Jonathan was very inspiring and interesting.
It was really incredible to hear about his journey to sobriety.
And I hope that anyone listening who might be struggling
with that or knows someone who is struggling, takes away
(50:38):
from this conversation that there is help out there and
you do not have to do this alone. And the
releasing of shame. Yeah, that was really key for me.
As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want
you to think about gratitude. We talked a lot about
(51:00):
that today in my conversation with Jonathan, about how important
it is and how fulfilling life is for him now
that he has that sense of profound gratitude due to
him choosing to get sober. So I want to ask you,
when was the last time you practice gratitude? For me?
(51:22):
I practice gratitude every single night before I go to bed.
It's like a ritual. I lay down, I close my eyes,
and I ask myself, what are three things that you're
grateful for? And I either say them in my mind,
or I write them down, or I say them out
loud to myself or to someone that I love, and
(51:42):
then I go to sleep, and that sense, that awareness,
that acknowledgment of gratitude really does sort of seep in
to who you are and how you live your life.
So I want you to try it. I want you
to say it out loud, say it to yourself, say
it to a friend, tell them how grateful you are
(52:04):
that they are in your life, and watch how beautifully
things unfold for you. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me.
You can check out our social links and make sure
to follow, rate, and review the podcast, and use the
hashtag I Choose Me. I will be right here next week,
and I hope you will choose to be here too,
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,
welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about
the choices we make and where they lead us. You know,
on this podcast, I like to explore and I like
to get to know different people that have maybe walked
(00:23):
a different path than myself, because that's the way to
learn from listening to others. Other people's journeys can really
be enlightening and inspirational as we're all just navigating this
life the best that we know how. We're all just
doing our best. My guest today is an actor. You
(00:46):
know him from his role in the hit movie That
Thing You Do, and he stars in the TV show
Blue Ridge On I insp he has had such a
layered and fascinating life and you know what, I want
to die right into it. Please welcome Jonathan Check to
the I Choose Me Podcast. I'm really so glad that
(01:06):
you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Well, I'm really grateful to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You have done something that I have always wanted to do.
You got the hell out of Dodge. You moved out
of the thunderdome and went to peaceful grounds. What has
that been like for you? When did you do that
and what has that experience been like for you.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Well, when my son started looking at schools, we you know,
we had to start looking at schools in Los Angeles
and and that kind of opened up the whole idea
of possibly moving out of Los Angeles. He's dyslexic, just
like I am, and I didn't want him to struggle
like I did. So schools in LA there were some
(01:54):
great schools, but it was it wasn't gonna be easy
to get into those schools. And it was kind of
like this whole thing that I didn't want to have to
live my life like. And so when we came out
to Nashville, Tennessee, we visited a couple of schools. My
wife is from Nashville, and by the time we left
one of the schools there were like with Kim and
like to come. I was like, yeah, that's yeah, he
(02:18):
would love to come. So we moved out here Abound
twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. My wife's from here, so we
got family here for the children. It's been it's been peaceful.
It's a good word, very peaceful. I'm surrounded by horse
farms where I live.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Oh, I'm so jealous, right, Now I don't care about
fancy bags or shoes. That that is what I care about.
Peaceful nature, serenity. I love that. That is good. So
you're saying I should do that, Just move get out
of the.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Really fit right in here. Here, Jason's here, he's down
the street.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Oh my god, you're yes right, your name papers with Jason,
Jason Prisley. For everybody that doesn't know, that is amazing.
I would love to be neighbors with Jason.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And a plate studio.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
That she's building her own plate studio. It's amazing. Good
for them, well, good for all of you.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Wow, I know exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That was the very smart. Something that's very important to
me and very important to our listeners is health and
fitness and just living, trying to live our best life, right,
And just one glance at your social media and I
was caught by the fact that you're actually a bona
(03:40):
fide bodybuilder, like a competitive bodybuilder. Now you can call
yourself a competitive bodybuilder after the age of fifty. That
is saying a lot.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Wow. Yeah, well, I don't know about a bodybuilder, but
come on, I trained really hard and last year before
the strike, and I knew the strike was coming and
I knew I was going to be just my brain
was needed some help and some focus. So I asked
a good friend of mine, Michael O'Hearn, and I know
Michael for thirty years, but it was on my show
(04:10):
Blue Ridge, and he said he would train me to
be this further bodybuilding contest up the street here in Franklin.
And for about six weeks, I trained and dieted just
like a professional bodybuilder, and I went out there and
I won the contest.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It was extream come true.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
You know. It was like small town bodybuilding contest, were.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You like all spray tnd and body oiled up exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I've never done anything like that before. It was so unique.
The best part was having my two little ones out
there screaming for me. That was hotly quite magnificent.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh my god, that sounds like so much fun. I mean,
you know our bodies. I mean as a woman, my
body has changed so much after I turned fifty, and
it continues to change. What it feels like daily as
a man. What has your experience been with aging and
your body?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, it was harder to you know, lose that weight
that I you don't want to have that I couldn't
actually have, you know, for what I do for a
living is you know, we have to look at it.
So and I'm not going They're not going to hire
me for any other reason. So I have to train
and keep my body fit. And I'm going to my
(05:30):
television show. I have to do a lot of stunts
and a lot of action. So I trained myself like
a professional athlete. At you know, I turned fifty five
years old, so yeah, I know how important. We just
got to keep going. There's no reason why we can't
be better off now than we were then, since we're
more motivated now.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's so true. It's the motivation now because you know,
this is our second act as they call it, and
we want it to be just as good as the
first One's right, maybe better?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, definitely want to be better.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
What is your healthy like your diet? How do you
keep that in control? Because that's hard for me.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, it's difficult. I So what I what I learned
through from the bodybuilding contest is that my body works
really well with just proteins. So I eat five meals
a day with enough protein to maintain and grow my
muscle size. So I take supplements for everything else, and
I try not to put anything else to my body.
I'll go for it's amazing. I can go out for
(06:32):
a dinner like anybody else, but I'll eat before we leave,
and then I'll get a piece of salmon or chicken.
I just eat pretty, leaning clean, leaning clean.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
How many grams of protein? I'm really curious about this
protein topic. How many grams of protein are you shooting
for a day?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So five meals six ounces or more, six to six
to seven ounces if I'm dieting hard, eight ounces if
I'm not so. Forty eight ounces of protein.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
That's a lot of protein.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah. I do thing. I wake up in the morning
and I do this pancake and it's awesome. I have
protein powder, right, I put egg whites with protein powder
and shake it up and I pour it on a
plate and then I zap it in the microwave for
like no, Yeah, I zap it rises up like a cake,
(07:25):
comes back down, and then I'll eat that for my
morning breakfast.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, that's that's a good tip, people.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
And I put zero sugar syrup on it, and I'm
feel like I'm eating pancakes.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You're so happy, everybody. I love that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I can't wait to wake up.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Ten years ago, you made probably one of the biggest
I Choose me decisions of a lifetime. You chose to
get sober. What made you realize you were ready for that?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know, I had, I had tried numerous times to
get sober. I go to meetings and wouldn't click. I
couldn't I couldn't really respond. I wasn't responding to the
what everyone was talking about in those meetings. I kept
going back, and then I met my wife, Julie, and
she was pregnant, and I kept looking in the mirror
(08:24):
at myself, saying, who's this guy? You know? Like this?
Am I going to continue doing the things that I've
done in the past? And am I going to ruin
this like I've ruined everything else in my life? And
I just decided that I wasn't use any substance and
I was gonna stop drinking alcohol completely out of my system.
And then I started realizing how much poison it was
(08:45):
and what I was doing. It was poisoned my body,
and I just I was I just stopped. I quit
and stopped meetings. I kept going to meetings, got a
great sponsor, and I started to find what they call
the miracle in the program.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, that's that's very admirable. I saw that you recently
posted that your you have your ten year chip.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You got my a ten year chip.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's a big deal, that's a decade.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Yeah. Yes, I went to a meeting here in Nashville.
I hadn't gone to I had gone as an AA
a couple of AA meetings, but I do. I do
different programs, and I found other programs to be more
beneficial for me. But I went to an AA one here.
It's pretty popular here, and I wanted to collect my
ten year chip. I thought it was powerful, you know,
(09:34):
for me to go there and uh and I got
there and they made the announcement, you know, and I
would raise my hand. And I went out there to
collected and everyone's plotting and everything. Didn't have a chip.
They didn't have a ten year chip.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
What I know, I didn't have to have the chip.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
No physical ten year chip. And they were like, oh
my god, I'm so sorry, you don't have to take
a chip. I was like, okay, well, let's find that
was that's how it's supposed to be. So my wife
got me a ten year chip online.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh I love that story. Yeah, speaking of your wife,
she's been beautiful.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, you would love my wife, I can tell.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah, I delved into her Instagram also. She seems like
a really neat lady. Yeah, a really special person. You
guys are so glad you found each other.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, you guys are very similar.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
How did you meet? I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
We met here at Nashville, Tennessee, at a Make a
Wish charity foundation. So I used to always come back,
I think only the Nashville over twenty years, and I
became really good friends with Jada Marcus and he's in
the band Rascal Flats and he has this him and
Kevin Carter had this Make a Wish charity foundation. I
don't always show up every it was like every April
(10:45):
and I was with the boys from Rascal Flats and
Julie was there and said hi and kind of clicked.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
And right away, right away it was just.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Like she's she's a I kept thinking to myself, like
she's out of my like she's.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Better than me, she's out of your league.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Out of my league, Yeah, out of my league. And
then no fact, she kept wanting to be around me.
So we made it official.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
And that's amazing. And was that around you said that
was kind of around the same time that you was
a few years later that you got sober. Was she
an integral part of that.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah. In the first year that we were together, I
was definitely abusing drugs and alcohol still like I was
a young kid in Hollywood, thinking that that was the
way to entice and this girl. But yeah, I started
to be able to see that that wasn't the truth
(11:45):
and it was wasn't becoming of me to be that
individual anymore. And I wanted to be more than I
wanted to be more for me me, first for her,
and then turned out to be for our for our
son and then our daughter, and I'm very grateful to
be so we're still to this day.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Oh it's like fate brought her to you just the
right time when you are open and ready to make
some big changes in your life.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah. Yeah, she definitely. She made me think that I
was in the same league as her, and that it
was worth fighting for the things that I always dreamed
of and that God was still by my side, still
with me. She proved it over time, not that God
(12:32):
needs to be proven, but what good things happened to
you and things. You know, you feel that you feel
love in your life again, you know, you know, it's
just not you in this world.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
It breaks down the walls that we've put up probably
you know, and it sort of breaks down also the
shame that we put on ourselves and we live life
through that shame. Lens, like you said, like I'm not
good enough for her, She's out of my league. Yeah,
these things were never true.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
It's interesting. The shame was is what I've given up
for the last seven years of my life. And I
know I had a lot to do with like being
married and thinking that by previous marriage is that it
had to be a certain thing, and then when it
didn't turn out to be the thing, I had so
much shame around it. You know. In my first wedding,
I had a Catholic priest marry us as well as
(13:26):
Breva and Michael beck With from Agape, so they both
were there, you know, but I was getting married in
the Catholic faith, and you know, that's so much shame
of associated to divorce and everything around it. So I yeah,
that was that was a big part of that shame
that I was carrying around for such a long time.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, I can definitely relate. I had a long marriage
and three beautiful children with a man, and then when
we got divorced, I felt so shameful. I felt I
carried around this shame, which manifested into you know, anger
at myself, anger at other people. It manifested into insecurities,
(14:05):
It manifested in so many unbeneficial characteristics. But I think
that's that's at the root of so much of our unrest.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Absolutely, Well, she sounds like an angel.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I think she is.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I think she is too. Do you think that your
addiction affected your career throughout the years.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Absolutely. And I have to remind myself when things are
going well, I only have myself to blame, you know,
And I can point to things that caused my addiction,
which I've been able to do since I've been sober
figured out the whys. But I still take responsibility for
being that individual that wasn't showing up when I needed
(14:49):
to really show up. You know, these opportunities came up
and I didn't. You know, So you can't say, like,
I mean I didn't win the audition or something like that,
like I wasn't present fully in my my genius to
be able to get what I was supposed to get,
you know, what was supposed to come to me. I
wasn't open to being the most authentically true self that
(15:10):
I could be.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Right, it was like covering up your gifts, like the
gifts that you were given of being able to emote
and you know, touch people in the way that you
have to be able to do as an actor.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, I wasn't connected to the source.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, and do you think I'm sorry, I'm getting real personal.
Do you think your addiction played a role or a
part in your relationships not working?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah? I think the shame had a bigger part of it.
But the addictions, yeah, they're prevalent. They were prevalent. I
was using in both relationships prior to previous relationships. They
had a big part of it.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah. There are so many people out there that you
know are struggling or know someone that they love who
is struggling with addiction. I'm wondering, as a person who
has been through it on the level that you have
and changed your life in such a significant way, what
(16:17):
would you say to a person who's struggling right now,
like one of our listeners, even just one person who's
listening like what would you want them to hear?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
So I didn't think I had a problem drinking, right,
I thought I could stop drinking, Like I could stop
for months, wasn't a big deal. What was going on
was I would start to drink, not like a crazy
person where I wake up every morning with a flask
in my hand. What it was, it was numbing myself
every time that I started getting closer to these whys.
(16:47):
Why it wasn't my most authentic self, like the best
version of me. And I was okay not being that
version that you know, I was okay not being okay.
So it really wasn't about the alcohol. But when I
was able to get past it and give it time,
I was able to understand why I was doing that.
(17:09):
I was able to change to be more of who
I really am.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
The person you want to be.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yeah, that I always wanted to be and always known
that I was. And I identify my whys and when
when we when I work with anyone in the program,
I always want to get to these whys because unconsciously,
these things are coming back up and taking us off
of our path. You know, it's the alcohol is is
(17:37):
like the cover up to us not being able to
really look at ourselves and loving that part of ourselves
that's shame h And that's you know, every tough guy
out there is like, you know, oh, problem drinking. It's
not really about the alcohol. If you're if you're continually
ruining your.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Life, you need to there's a why why? Yeah, And
it's not just alcohol, it's drugs, it's sex, like whatever
your addiction, food, whatever you default to to make yourself
feel better or to hide that shame, or to mask
what's really going on so that you don't have to
(18:16):
be in it, because that's so uncomfortable to really look
inside and ask yourself why. I think that's super powerful.
You have kids. I have kids. You have young kids.
That's got to keep you very active. Yeah, are a
(18:39):
ten and four? I think is what you said.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, I get a ten year old boy and a
four year old little girl.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh my god, I can tell you love being a dad.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I'm very grateful to be a father.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It just puts everything in perspective. It does, it is
the why, like it becomes your why. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I'm so grateful that I'm present with my children and
all that work that I did and get rid of
all that chaos and all that poison I was putting
in my body so that I could be present with
my children. And I'm grateful to still be alive. If
I want to continue down the path, I wouldn't be
able to be here with them.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
I think at the end of the day. That's what
it always comes back to is gratitude. Yeah, that acknowledging
the things in your life that you are so grateful for.
It just opens you up to a whole new world
of your experience here. Oh my gosh, I love it
that you got to be a dad. That's really great.
(19:46):
I get this question all the time. Would you let
your kids become actors or be in our industry if.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
They wanted to, well they really wanted to learn the
craw aft, if they wanted to be artists m hmm yeah,
and if they were willing to also learn the business
our business. I would really encourage both of those mm hmm.
(20:17):
You know this quick world that we live in social
media and that's a different form of fame or you know,
like we didn't we were actors. You know, we were
striving to like tell the truth, you know, in our work,
and that that I would encourage and I you know,
(20:38):
I don't know if the business is safer than when
we first started.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
But I like to hope, So I like to hope.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
So yeah, I think. I like to think that I
I made it better than what I found it, So
I would, I would encourage them. It's a great life,
the start of living. So you're a great example. Look
at you, how you live your life. It's awesome. You
just NonStop. You just a fighter, man. I love it.
You know, actor is an act that they just learn
(21:06):
how to fight for themselves, some of them, not all
of them.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, it's that moment when you're on camera and you're
in a scene and you're in that character shoes and
that connection with your co star. That's the moment that
keeps me coming back.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
I know, you got to come out and do Blue
Ridge with me.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
It sounds like a dream. Shoot.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
It's so much fun. We have a blast.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I bet you do. Yeah, I want to skip ahead
to that, but I'm going to come back to something else.
I want to skip ahead to Blue Ridge for a second,
because this is a role that you've played before in
a movie, and you're now doing a series based on
the movie. You're playing the same character. What is it
about that character? What's the character's name, Sheriff Justin, Justin
(21:55):
Justin Wise, that's a good character name. What is it
about him that made you want want to come back?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah? So I'd never really explored a character like this before.
I've never been a leading man of my own show, right,
So when they brought it back to me and I
was like, you know it, it is the first role
that I had ever played where I did not walk
away every day feeling a sense of shame.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
It was the first what do you mean shame?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
So I always from my previous experience in the film industry,
I had a great deal of shame associated to performance,
and I had done a lot of work on that.
I did a lot of brain spotting, like it did
a lot of therapy, did a lot of work on
not not carrying that into my life, using my life
(22:47):
for my art, but not like beating myself up afterwards.
I would beat myself to tears. It was ridiculous. I
thought it was part of the process.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And just like those thoughts of like I'm not good enough,
I shouldn't be doing this, it just.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
The weight of carrying that forward. It was just like,
you know, I think at one point maybe it was
a survival trait that I had gotten where I was
trying to always make sure the next time I got
out there, I performed really well. But I realized I
didn't need to be that way anymore, and I left.
I left Hollywood and literally moved to Nashville, and it
was the first role that came to me, and I
(23:26):
performed it and I had a great experience. I was
very connected to the crew, my cast, and the experience
and the character of Justin Wise, he's his old school.
It's very much like my father, like I've become my
father where I was born in the city police officer.
Justin is that character that runs to the problem and
(23:51):
there for others. I embraced it and I loved it.
And when they came back and said they wanted to
make it into a television series, I was first off
was we make sure they wanted me, and they did,
and then just checking checking, just shoot me want me
to come back? And they were like everyone they said
the network and everyone really loved what I did with
(24:15):
Justin and it was the big success for their network
and they wanted to continue to make it into a series,
and so we did six episodes in season one and
they're out right now every Sunday on itsp at nine pm.
And I play the character Justimize that I've played before.
So yeah, I get to play my dad.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
That's got to be so rewarding, especially now that you
have this core of gratitude, like you appreciate it so
much more now.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I bet, yeah, I do. I appreciate I really appreciate
it so much. But all the other chaos, all this
stuff I can't control out. I don't bother with it
it anymore. And if it starts to come up with me,
I just I let it go. Okay with with with
not knowing? Does it make sense? I'm okay with going
(25:09):
into the unknown.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
That's true. What do you do to yourself in those
moments when you need to squash those voices that you're
so familiar with, those negative voices, Well.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
If I can't get rid of them, like through a
workout mm hmm or we're talking to my wife, I'll
call my sponsor m hm and talk talk. Yeah. My
sponsor is great. He's a brain surgeon. Oh nice, I know,
and he just kind of sets things very clear and quick.
(25:44):
And I just realized, like that's where I am. That's
what that's what I've done with my life. I've gotten
to the place where I can actually reach out and
not be alone, because that's probably the biggest problem with
most addicts is there they fight these things alone. I
work with a program. You get a bunch of people
that are similar to you. You know, they may be
(26:04):
completely different, but they're on the same path as you,
and so you reach out to them and they're there
for you, and they put you right in line, right
back in place where you need to be. And he
under understands shame so well he can set me. Like
one time I had a I had an audition and
I had to do it the next day, and I'm dyslexic.
(26:25):
I cannot, from the life of me, like two things quick.
It's probably been and I've learned that's never gonna happen.
I'm never going to be good at it.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
And I'm like quick memorizing things.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
That quick thing like if it's tomorrow, you know, two
page monologue, it's it's you know, it's gonna be really hard.
I mean I could get through it. They have to
be willing. And so I had this audition the next
day and I just went absolutely mad. I don't know
what it was, but there was something about this force
(26:55):
to put having to put me in this audition spot, like,
you know, without any time, and it felt like the
whole world was against me again and how could they
do this? And who I was just going nuts.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
It sounds like you were really regressing into that victim mentality.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yes, exactly, yeah, yeah. And I made a couple of
phone calls and they they just they heard me. They
said the right things. They you know, one of my
I haven't more than one sponsor, but my main sponsor
out here, I called my LA sponsor and he was great.
He just said, well, that's not fair, you know, like
(27:34):
why do they have to do that. They can give
you more time. Just him saying that made me feel
better enough to actually do the performance. And I did
great job the next day, so I didn't carry any
of that shame into that after I was saved by
my fellows. As they say that.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
It was, Yeah, it was fighting to get in there,
though I was really trying to mess you up and
derail you.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
That's so good when you have that personspective of the
power of being able to talk back to those negative
voices when you develop that power and that ability and
just able to acknowledge those are just thoughts that aren't
helpful to me anymore.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, I wish I would have done that earlier. Right
now and then with our children, I want to be
able to be that boys. You realize it's so hard
to get them to hear that at these young ages,
and you know, they got to have their own experience
to get there.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
I know, but they are at such a great advantage
to have your wisdom that you've gained, because some people
go through life and they don't ever get to the
point where you are and your kids are. So I
think this all the time too, like there are light
years ahead of what I was able to do at
that age, just because they have the support system and
(28:52):
they have me wanting to share my knowledge and my
experiences and my wisdoms with them. Whether they listen or not,
whether I have to say it four hundred times or not,
that's a different story. But yeah, they have to go
and live their life. But I think that that the
cornerstone of that support of a very present parent is
(29:14):
they're just they're so much better off than we were.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, you know, there's a The word in therapy is
generational trauma. Might continue that the generational stuff that I
was put that was placed upon me. I stopped that,
and maybe I'm giving him new trauma. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Probably, Oh my god, it'll end up there'll be in
therapy talking about us any minute as mine. Speaking of therapy,
what you you mentioned that you did EMDR and brain spotting.
I know what EMDR is, and I think it's such
a valuable modality of that kind of therapy, really effective.
(29:53):
If you guys don't know what EMDR is, definitely looking up.
But you also said something about brain spotting and I'm
not familiar with that. Can you you tell us what
that is?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
You know, it's very similar like they they follow you
fall like a stick and there's a guided meditation basically
to bring you back to a certain point in your
life that you need to address. And for me, I
don't know if you listeners can handle this or not,
but I was actually molested when I was twenty two
years old on a screen test in Rome by director
(30:25):
Franco Zefarelli. It just just screwed me up, like for
a long time. So I was able to address it
and the one way I was able to get to
that experience and stand up to it again was brain spotting.
So I had an incredible therapist that like guided me
to the point of when you know I was violated
(30:48):
and why I froze, and why I didn't stop him
right like, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Kill him in that moment.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
In that moment, And that's that's what I did with
brain spodies. So we found that where that was in
my body and my soul basically, but really probably in
my spotting. It in my brain, so the right brain
and the left side it was. I can't remember exactly
what that was, but that's what brain spotting is. So
I was able to get to that place and heal
(31:20):
that part of me and talk about it.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Really, Oh my god, that work is not easy. So
I really applaud you for seeking the help to go there.
You know, that's that's it's not an easy decision. It's
not an easy choice to make. It sucks, it's hard,
it feels awful to go so deep into those traumas
that have truly affected our whole lives.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah, I've spoke out about it, and I'm I'm a
survivor and I speak out openly about it. So it's
not like everyone needs to like, oh my god, poor Jonathan.
I've worked really hard and I share that because I
know there's probably one individual who's struggling with that and
being male, being in a very masculine role on a
(32:07):
television shore series where you don't want to mess with
my character. You still don't want to mess with my character.
But you know, being a man in this in that
world is survival world. It's a difficult world, but you
know you're stronger when you get to the other side
of it, for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, I mean, man, woman, I don't think it matters
when you've been violated that way. It does really mess
you up. Yeah, it does in so many like layered ways.
I read that article. By the way, when you first
decided to talk about it, how did you feel after
you shared that story with the world.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Well, I was frightened. It was really scared. I thought
I would never work again, work for a long time.
That's why I started making some phone calls to people
and telling him like, you know, I think I just
I don't think like everyone was like, oh god, you
know what the age just share. I think it was
more like it's just a competitive business, and everyone else
(33:04):
was able to move their their bodies in front of it,
like you're competing non stop. So I just wasn't getting
the same opportunity as I was before, and I was
frightened that no one was able to see me anymore.
And I knew what I needed to do is to
work harder on myself so that I could get more
(33:25):
in the light, that I could be more open to
what what I shared. And I did. I worked really
hard on myself, stayed sober and worked really hard and
got more and more in the light so that I
could be seen. And that's how my show came about.
You know, it was my parents was exactly what I did.
(33:46):
He embraced it. He was like, this is my hero,
this is this is what I want from my character
and my show's hero, someone who's that strong, and I
the same thing with the net work. They really supported
me and brought me on bropping back for the series.
You know exactly what I had shared, So it was empowering.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Yeah, yeah, that's got to feel so good. I mean,
not only did you speak openly about it in order
to help other people who it's maybe happened to to
sort of connect and share and take the shame element
out of it, but then to have your personal life
(34:31):
and your work life flourish after you did that work. Yeah, yep,
that is so inspirational.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah. Yeah, I did the work.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
So the work.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I did the work and got through the dark, through
the its a bit abyss, and I got out to
the light, made that journey and carried the torch. Now
I'm holding it strong for everyone else to see.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
And it's so nice to hear that your employers, if
you will, like your producer, your boss, is your network
that everybody has embraced it and they've expressed how proud
of you they are and how much they support you.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
That kind of talking about stuff that we don't want
to talk about or you know, I know what happened,
but let's not discuss it. Like the act of actually
just talking about that with people that you work with
or that you care about or that you depend on,
Like that's such a freeing feeling. And you're so lucky
(35:37):
to have found those people to support you.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I know it was. It was amazing. Like you ever
study you ever read Brene Brown? Oh? Yeah, so she
talks about going in the wilderness and I felt like
I went into the wilderness and how it's in the
you know, the thick of the trees and like the
darkest places. After I shared my story and then I
(36:02):
was able to find the path and get out. And
I didn't do it alone. People helped me.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
It's so true. It's that connective tissue right that everybody's
having the same human experience. We try to think where
we tend to think that it's just me, I'm the
only one that's going through this. Nobody has any understanding
of what I'm going through dealing with, but in reality,
we're all dealing with the same things, just in a
different situation circumstances.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
I've shared human experience and the amount of people that
reached out to me since then, it's been amazing. I've
helped people like I could literally say that I helped
people find the life.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Yes, that's the best feeling. We were talking about like
talking about stuff and being open and sharing like our
darkest moments or our biggest challenges with people. I recently
had my ex husband Peter on this podcast, and I
(37:10):
went into it not knowing what was going to come
out of it, and it was actually through us sitting
down and talking with one another about the meat of
it that it brought. It brought us so much closer.
And then when our listeners and people in the world
heard that story, I feel like, you know, because we
(37:34):
really struggled as co parents all these years, and we
really covered all of that up in the public's eye.
But once we talked about it, and once we shared
it with the community of listeners that we have here,
it was it lifted something off of me, like that
burden off my shoulders or that whatever I was carrying
(37:55):
around that was making us be have that tension with
one another.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah, So you're leading by example also by just talking
about things like this openly and if yeah, if you
reach one person by sharing your story or your stories,
that's the best feeling. Yeah, relationships are tricky. You've been
married a few times. I've been married a few times.
They're not easy. They're not easy. In the industry that
(38:24):
we work in, there's so much time away from one another,
and there's a lot of different things that you have
to add in there. But I did hear that you.
I know that you are remarried now to Julie, but
Julie is best friends with your ex wife Jana also
very confusing with the two j's. I gotta say, Janna,
(38:46):
you could have picked a different letter. But okay, but
they're best friends, Like, how does that? How did that
happen for you? And how did that feel?
Speaker 2 (38:55):
You know? They met at the Maker with Charity Foundation,
the same place Julie, So the two of them met.
And my wife is just very open and loving and she,
you know, she became friends with Jenna for a long
period of time. We kinda moved out to Nashville, Tennessee.
I think she remarried recently. But so we've lived these
(39:19):
you know, lives, and it's all good.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
It does not feel good, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
It's all good. I love it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
It's all good. It's so much better than this is
so hard, you know, Yeah, just the mindset change alone
can change everything.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
My wife is just very open and loving, and you know,
she's tough too. She's not a pushover. So she she
sees the best in people and she's great at it.
She brings the best out of people too.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I love that. One of the things my husband told
me once was that I make him want to be
a better man. Yeah, and that as a wife and
just as a friend, it made me feel so valuable
to him that that carries me through and keeps me
wanting to him to feel that way. You know.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Yeah, my wife makes me want to be a better
man as well.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Hm, that's really good.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
And she she's the first person to say, like, you know,
all this working down yourself is the most attractive thing
about you.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Right, yeah, it really is. As you get older, that
whole like moody, mysterious, dangerous, you know, problematic guy is
less and less appealing. So now you're just like to her,
I'm sure that is so admirable. I mean to me,
(40:46):
it's so admirable to everyone that's heard your story is
what you've done, the way you've turned your life around,
is truly admirable and inspiring. And I know that our
listeners are going to well really hear that. And just
the genuineness that you speak about it with. You're not
talking about this so that you can be more famous
(41:08):
or get more likes or whatever people talk about things for.
You're talking about this because you have to talk about it,
because it's who you are.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's what I told my, That's what I told Amy My.
I hired a pblicist for Blue Ridge, and I was
just like, I have to. Look, I want to help
promote the show whatever I can, but I really need
to tell my story. I have to. It's part of
my DNA right now, like it's part of me. I
have to share this because I know that it will
(41:39):
open people up.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, that's that's what we want to do. We want
to connect. And when when your fans or your viewers
feel like they can connect to you and relate to
you on that deeper level, it's so much more valuable.
I know the relationship that I have with a lot
of my long term fans and supporters like they feel
(42:01):
like my family. And as much as I share what
I do in hopes to inspire them, them acknowledging it
and giving me their stories sharing their stories with me,
it inspires me. So it's this beautiful, like cyclical exchange
of just like good energy.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Wow, that's beautiful. So you've you've had a relationship with
fans for such a long time. Yeah, did a lot
of people stick around all these years?
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I mean it's bananas. The super fans of the OG
nine on two to zero from the nineties, I see
them at all the time, and I correspond with them
and I love connecting with them, like they feel like
a part of me, and I'm so grateful to them.
And like, I know, I would not have had the
(42:56):
career that I've had. I wouldn't have this outlook that
I have at this point in my life without that
kind of love and support. So tap into that. You
know you are doing You're you're doing great, and yeah,
you have to promote your show because you want people
to see it and enjoy it. You work really hard
on it, but at the same time, that's not your
(43:17):
only motive and that comes through, right, So you're doing great.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
The fan things so neat. I never really had that
people like my movie, I've been in that thing you
do fans, but we don't have like I think I
wasn't on television for a period of time. Like I
think people will find justin why is my character and
really start to find him and me and see the
connection and be able to share with me. I would
(43:43):
love that that happened with my fans. I'll put that
out there. I would love to do it that.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Just keep connecting with them because they want to connect
with you.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
I'm so used to I was. I've always been so
scared of fans. I think why, you know, I had
a stalker, so there was always about the looking at
the mail and there were always horrible things that the
stalker was doing. So yeah, I think I just always
like didn't want to connect with these people because they
(44:15):
was afraid that there was danger there.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Well, you know, there are scary people out there, that
is true.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
There's a loving people too, and I did. We don't
have social back then. You know, socials are I do
connect with people now. I do love the people that
connect with me. And They've been there since socials at
least when I started doing socials and I could see
them and I'm like, hey, I got a series I'm doing. Now,
Oh what's the series?
Speaker 1 (44:41):
You know, Yeah, it's the best. It's like your support
group and you inspire them, and then by them loving
you and sharing with you, they inspire you. It's the best.
Just you're so on the right path. I'm so excited
for you in your life. And you know, once again,
it really really inspired by your story and your bravery
to not only share those dark places, but to do
(45:06):
the work that it takes to get out of them,
because nothing changes if nothing changes. So kudos to you,
my friend, I'm curious what this is a question I
like to answer myself. But what is it when you
lay your head down on the pillow at the end
of your day. What is it that goes through your
(45:26):
mind before you fall asleep.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Well, if I start thinking about any of the things,
I usually go through the Baltimore Orioles lineup.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
So that's your guy.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
I've just tried to do things that I have no
control over and don't really matter. I will rest because
if I think about sometimes, I'll go over the lines
for the next day. Have you done that.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I've slept with my my sides under my pillow every
so many times. But it's like it's gonna it's gonna
come magically into my brain if I just sleep on it.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Yeah. Yeah, I've done that so many times. And I
do that a lot more sane than I used to
do trying to memorize lines. I could, you know. I
used to think that I couldn't memorize them. When I
realize it was not. I'm not that being anymore. I
have to let them in me. Yeah. So yeah, I
do definitely run my lines over in my head. And
if I can't remember them, oh, sometimes I might get
(46:28):
wake up and go, you know, look at them, turn
the light on, try to see in the middle of
the night, what was that line I was trying to memorize.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Oh, the life of an actor.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, that's the one thing people always like that. One
of the first things they always ask me is do
you memorize your lines?
Speaker 1 (46:43):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
I'm like, well, that's a good question. It just becomes
part of like just you have to do it, so
you just start really start to get into that dialogue.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yeah. I think it's with like with most things, the
more you use it, the better it gets that muscle
whatever it is inside our brains for the memory of
our lines. Like if you keep using it, it just
it's like more automatic somehow.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Yeah, you're good at it, aren't you. I am a
quick You have a lot of You've always had a
lot of lines.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Yeah. But every time i'm it's like showtime, whatever it is,
an interview, an appearance, a scene, whatever it is. I
always panic inside and think, oh my god, I don't know,
I can't do this, and just like you, I have
to say, hey, shut it not helpful.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
And when your co star says their line, you know
your line, it.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Just comes if you're in the moment, if it's yeah.
So I love that part. Okay. I always ask everybody
this that comes on our podcast, Jonathan, what was your
last I Choose Me moment?
Speaker 2 (47:54):
You know, I chose me when I hired my publicist.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I know that it would be tough to get press
during the summer and they were putting a show out
and I really wanted people beyond just lurage to hear
my story, and I choose I choose me moment was
when I hired a publicist.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
That's a good one because at first it doesn't sound
like that, like I choose me, but it's a big expense. Yeah,
and you do have to be willing to put yourself
out there like never before.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
And she's she's always been very special to me. She
worked with my with Christina in the beginning of her career,
and I would hear how she strategically would plan these
things out and I never had anyone like do that
with me. And I was like, well, I never had
my own show like this. It was always short. It
was always a movie, never like a long lead. Well,
(49:03):
you know, you have to do it for the next season.
All that stuff. So she and she moved out here
in Nashville, Tennessee, and I thought, we are so in line.
This is the right thing to do. And when it
came down to doing it, I had to really choose
me over everything else. So that's and also I get
up every morning, go work out. That's to choose me
(49:24):
moment as well.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
Every morning.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
What time, well I dumped my son off at school usually,
and then I go train.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Both very very admirable. I choose me moments. Thank you
so much for taking the time to talk today to us,
and wow, I really look forward to watching Blue Ridge.
I had never heard about it until I started researching
you and the clips that I've seen on your social
It looks like my kind of show, and it looks good,
you know, like it's good stuff.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
It is. It's you know. I can watch it with
my ten year old and my eighty five year old
father and everyone gets the hea a little bit of
something in it. It's got romance, action, It's a good show.
People really like it.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
It's God well, I like you.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
You have a lot of heart too. I can tell
all my best to you and your beautiful family.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Say to you, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
You're welcome. That conversation with Jonathan was very inspiring and interesting.
It was really incredible to hear about his journey to sobriety.
And I hope that anyone listening who might be struggling
with that or knows someone who is struggling, takes away
(50:38):
from this conversation that there is help out there and
you do not have to do this alone. And the
releasing of shame. Yeah, that was really key for me.
As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want
you to think about gratitude. We talked a lot about
(51:00):
that today in my conversation with Jonathan, about how important
it is and how fulfilling life is for him now
that he has that sense of profound gratitude due to
him choosing to get sober. So I want to ask you,
when was the last time you practice gratitude? For me?
(51:22):
I practice gratitude every single night before I go to bed.
It's like a ritual. I lay down, I close my eyes,
and I ask myself, what are three things that you're
grateful for? And I either say them in my mind,
or I write them down, or I say them out
loud to myself or to someone that I love, and
(51:42):
then I go to sleep, and that sense, that awareness,
that acknowledgment of gratitude really does sort of seep in
to who you are and how you live your life.
So I want you to try it. I want you
to say it out loud, say it to yourself, say
it to a friend, tell them how grateful you are
(52:04):
that they are in your life, and watch how beautifully
things unfold for you. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me.
You can check out our social links and make sure
to follow, rate, and review the podcast, and use the
hashtag I Choose Me. I will be right here next week,
and I hope you will choose to be here too,
Host
Jennie Garth
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