March 26, 2025 • 33 mins
If you like men that don’t cheat, get yourself a farmer! Jennifer Fessler is saddled up to talk with two hunks, Matt and John, from the latest season of "Farmer Wants A Wife".
These guys may be DTF (down to farm) but they are also ready to find love!
These farmers have unique perspectives on love and marriage and clear up if women should REALLY be approaching men out in the wild!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm one of
your celebrity mentors. It's Jenniferfessler from the Real Housewives of
New Jersey and co host of the podcast Two Jersey Jays.
Today is going to be fun. On this podcast, we
talk a lot about the chapter two of it all,
but today I'm going to be joined by two handsome
men who are trying to get it right the first
time around. Help me. Welcome John and Matt from the
(00:34):
new season A Farmer Wants a Wife to the podcast.
Hi guys, welcome, welcome, Thanks for having us, well, thank
you for coming. I have to say, the first thing
that occurs to me looking at the both of you is,
why would one choose to be a farmer when they
so obviously should be a model?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
What are you thinking?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
And probably I don't know if it would be easier
or not. It feels like it'd be easier than being
a farmer. But you're both gorgeous, and I mean you're
here and you're single looking for love. We're just so
excited to find out what is going on. Well, actually
wore my cowboy hat in your honor. I love it
out right right right, Thank you very flattering. Thank you.
So all right, let's get into all the upcoming season.
(01:14):
A farmer wants a wife. We actually just talked about
this on a recent episode of the podcast. But did
you guys know that, according to a divorce attorney, farmers
are one of the professions least likely to cheat in
a marriage.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Really, have you heard that?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Someone else told me that recently. I don't remember where
I heard that, but I definitely believe it.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Ladies, if you didn't want them because they're so good looking,
here's the thing, they're all so loyal. So top three
careers to not cheat accountant's, pharmacists, and farmers.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Wow. Right, accountant surprises me too.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
My husband started out as an accountant. And if we're
going to be real here on the pod, didn't really
work out that quite that way for us. We're still together.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Oh you're the exception. I guess we were the exception.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yes, yeah, but I think that's interesting. I mean, you
guys are still you're still young, but you really are
looking to settle down, both of you.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah about young?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Wow, well, what are you thirty? I'm thirty.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
I'm twice six.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
You don't think that that's young.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
No, I was proud.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You guys bring this dynamic to the show. Yeah, you
became good friends, there four of you.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
The first day I walked up on filming, I hadn't
met the guys in and immediately like, you're the oldest one.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Okay, listen, I can't have this conversation. I'm fifty six
years old. So you guys have this among I appreciate that. Wow,
your baby. I have a twenty five year old son.
Oh really, I'm getting depressed. Let's move on. Tell me
a little bit about we're just going to start jump
right in. What kind of woman that you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Let's go first, Go ahead, man, let's take this one
all right. You know, I'll say too that I was
pretty impressed on the show, like they really did care about,
like what you're looking for. It's not just based off
and whatever, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
So the things that I you know, it's not just
looks that you're looking for.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
No, I like looks, but the things that I had
said is like a you know, really family oriented Christian
and you know, just someone that likes to have fun
is my biggest thing, because I love just traveling and
doing things and being out with friends and all that
kind of stuff. So I've been with gals in the past,
I like don't enjoy that as much. And so that
(03:27):
creates problems there.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Because is it a travel thing or just not so.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Much travel, but just you know, being with friends, being
with my family. I just some girls, you know, they
just want to be just with you all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Red Flag girl doesn't have girlfriends or a lot of girlfriends.
It is. Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, in my experience, been pretty good indication of no.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I think that's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, which, you know, teach their out. You don't have
to do that but.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
For you, for me, because I'm not to make it
about me, but I like to do that. But like
I am a very social person and my husband really
never was. But for some reason it worked. I could
kind of brought them over to the dark side. But yeah,
I guess maybe easier to start out with someone that's
like you, likes to go out, likes to mix it
up a little bit. Bavel what about you? What are
(04:13):
we looking for?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I mean, going into the show, I was really looking
for somebody who would just be a great mother, you know,
somebody who's nurturing and caring, also support me through and through.
So that I could do the same for her. But
going through the show and you know, coming out of
it after like kind of being reflective in the OTF,
which is what we call the interviews, the side of interviews,
(04:34):
I kind of just decide on somebody, you know, I
want somebody who I can just really get along with
in the end, because that's all that really matters. That's
who you're going to be spending the rest of your
life with. So if you really can't get along with
that person.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Then yeah, no, I think it's that's absolutely true. But
I'm going to say to you both that all of
what you're saying, I mean I think that a lot
of girls can fit the bill right what you're describing,
likes to have fun and someone you can get along with.
So I got to get we're going have to get
a little deep for right, Christian very true sost to you.
Both of you or someone someone open to it religious,
(05:09):
we're both okay, So I mean that's helpful, right, so
that at least we can narrow it down a little bit.
Anything else you can give me though, and maybe even
after filming, like specifics, I really I realized that I
like girls with whatever long dark hair, or I like
girls that love Would you bond with any of these
girls specifically over something I like?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I really like girls that don't like me as much.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's a horrible it is not let me tell you something.
You came to the right place because I don't like No,
because I used to work for this. I used to
work for these women that wrote a book called The Rules,
and the Rules is all about how to play hard
to get. This is going back when I was your age.
I worked for these people and there's this whole philosophy
on it that I actually subscribe to and I try
(05:56):
to get my daughters to subscribe to it as well.
Is men just love the chase it is. I don't
know if that's a good thing, a bad thing, if
it's feminist, if it's not. But I just think that
most men want what they don't think they can have.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
And I think that's super nature eneral.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, but yeah, I could definitely see that with men,
especially when I mean personally, when I was younger, I
definitely had that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, it's changed for me, definitely.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Changes older and older.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Really Yeah, Yeah, when I was like early you know,
early twenties, whatever you want to say, that really was
like that, but then as time has gone on, it's like, okay,
kind of like some of that, but not not too
much because.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Not you you want a bitch, but like you want
someone who's not how I.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Was going to say it, but yes, yeah, but just
you know, it's just as soon as you are with
someone and it's like right off the bat, they're just
infatuated with you.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And I'm kind of stay turn off.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
It is for me unfortunately, and I hate to say
that because it's flattering, and like.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
You, I know what it is.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Do you watch need it? No?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I really watch TV.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I can't these two. I can't. How how did you
guys end? Yes, it's Bravo. Well, there's a couple on
it right now and she is just way too upfront
with in terms of how she feels and wanting to
get serious too soon. But anyway, no, I think that's
that's really interesting. So girls that play a little hard
to get.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Yeah, well, I think the unfortunate thing about well, I
wouldn't say unfortunate, but the interesting thing about this show
is we filmed it all in one month, so you know,
by the end of it, people either had to come
out of their show, like that right, or stay reserved.
So it's okay, interesting to see how everybody kind of
plays out after having that discussion.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, it's really like read six months compressed at the
one dating, you know, because.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
You've got to get right into it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
You're talking about like really serious. So I'll never do
that like in a normal.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Dating situation, right, No, that's very true. So interesting. I'm
just picturing what I would tell my daughter if she
was going on like I would definitely tell her to
play hard to get. But how do you do that
in a month when you're supposed to get to know
everyone and get your cards out on the table. All right?
So what kind of marriages do you guys come from?
Tell me a little bit about your parents. Have they
ever been parents? Still together?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
My parents would? They've been together forty six years? I think, wow,
never even considered it.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Forty six years. They started young.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, my dad's early seventies and my mom's getting close
to seventy.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You have boost too, sisters.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
There's four of us. I'm the youngest and.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You're the youngest, right, Okay, coming together now? Got it?
Very strong, Maria and they very strong? Happy, Yes, Niver,
fight come on, I swear. Really, Oh my god, I
feel bad for the girl you end up with.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's tough to compare. But my dad's still gets upset
she's gone for more than a day or two.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Really, that's very cool.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, I love that. I know it's getting rid of
these days. So that's it's really cool to come from that.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
That seems like quite a fairy tale marriage.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah, really, it really is.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Well, my parents are is probably more I wouldn't no,
not no offense to you, but like more realistic in
the sense they do fight obviously, but they always make
up before bed. That's one of the big things.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Really.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yeah, and they've been together for multiple years as well.
I come from six siblings, so I think that was
one of the biggest He is a glue that held
our whole family to better. Is just having a lot
of siblings.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You guys grew up one of you in California. Yeah,
I can't say it, abyss. How do you say it?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
San Louis obispo?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You say's slow for sure, San Leuis obispo.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Slow is a good abbreviation people, so.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Slow, okay, And then Saint Louis Saint Louis right, Yeah,
So I'm just picturing these marriages and these lives and
these kids, and it all seems very wholesome and very
small towns. I don't know that much about San Louis.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It is like fifty thousand people, so it's smaller, but
it's a college of town. There's a lot of stuff
going on there still so of good mix of both.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Okay, I'm just trying to If I say the Walton,
do you won't even know what I'm talking about, right,
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
God, the Walton.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
It was a show that I watched about this fan
and they lived on a farm, and they would so
wholesome and whatever. So you lived. It sounds to me
like even though different states sort of similar worlds may
be very country.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah, yeah, it seems like it, you know, the country
for me.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Actually not very countryport or really not that way. Oh
they're not okay, yeah, okay, yeah. And in these towns though,
you guys, I'm picturing you dating a lot. I'm picturing
you guys, neither one of you having a problem meeting girls.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well, it's you know, I wouldn't consider Saint Louis a
small town, but right people like to consider it a
big small town. Everybody knows everybody. The one question you
asked when find out somebody's from Saint Louis is what
high school did.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
You go to?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Really, and then you can immediately gauge who they knew,
where they came from, what realiation they usually are.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, so that's you. That's where I grew up.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
See, I didn't picture. I know, I wasn't really talking
about Saint Louis. If you guys lived in very small
like I say, I'm from Houston, I'm only from Sugarland,
like there's it's just sort of small, like but Californ
in Saint Louis so not small small but no.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
The thing with the reason I'm on Farmer wants a
Wife is because my mom grew up on a farm
that's been our family for five generations about an hour
and a half south of Saint Louis, and my grandfather
still lives there, and I go down there and help
them out where I can, and you know, ultimately want to.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Live that lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Cool.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
So she was in the city and met my dad
on a Fourth of July party and then she stuck around.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So dating apps, tell me about your experience. How do
you use them? What's your experience been.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
I don't know how to put it down into one word. Interesting.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Yeah, Tender and Bumble. We're definitely younger apps that I used,
like high school, college and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And then I kind of moved just towards airing it
down on the Hinge.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Yeah, but I haven't had Hinge for like, you know
and a half two years now, so why it just
started to get ridiculous. You know, nobody was actually really
on there to date. You know, it's just more of
a let's go get a drink and hook up.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, so okay, interesting, but it was fun. Yeah, yeah,
it sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And I've virtually never had any dating apps. I think,
like when Tender first came out, like I don't know,
ten years ago, I had it for like a week
or two. Okay, but just not my style whatsoever. I
just I think I'm really social. I love being out
and like beating girls and like that's fun, like the
experience of it or the thrill, you know, like walking
(12:24):
up to a random girl at a bar like that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I mean, I have to tell you, I'm looking at
you guys, and I'm picturing that I don't know who
couldn't you go on Farmer Wants a White Like I
would think that you're both overwhelmed with dates, like I
can't imagine, like girls are just they must have gone crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
This is also on video, so you guys are going
to see what I'm talking about. But I've never seen
two more adorable boys and sweet with good families.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, were very blessed. I think of the both
of us, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, I have a daughter. Okay, we'll talk after
the show.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
To go on the show.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, she's not leaving me. She's not leaving
New Jersey. Tell me a little bit about you know,
getting on the show. Were you excited to meet all
these women like you must have been a little intimidating
all at once, real life women, real life dates. You know,
(13:24):
we're you nervous?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Yeah, extremely. We walked into this big great room where
we had will just see the ladies for the first time.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Were that it was everybody is everybody mid twenties, early thirties.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Yeah, you got to mine were yeah, yeah, kind of
got to ask.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
That's what name you did?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Well, because it's funny because I got I have a
question for you guys a little bit. I was gonna
ask a little bit later, but why not just jump
right in? Have you ever dated older women?
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Yeah, couple within the same like year.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That's not older within the same year.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
You just said, yeah, like I was ninety nine, so
like usually within ninety nine, ninety eight, ninety seven.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Got it. I'm meant older, like old or older. Now,
I think maybe put that, you know what. I think
maybe our producers wanted me to ask, just to like
humiliate myself, like I'm not looking for a long time,
very cute.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
But she's all specifically yeah, specifically, No, it's we're like
four years.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I think that does not count.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You guys have never dated older?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay, so all right, let's just talk also a little
bit about the fact that you are farmers. And I'm
thinking that it's that part of why it's you know,
been hard to you know, maybe nail something down get
because you're so busy with your farming.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I would not say that for me. I can't speak
for John, but I do live in somewhat of a
smaller area and I did grow up and there's one
high school there, and so when I was like early
twenties at college, ten too, So there's like new girls
moving into the area all the time, so like there's
way more opportunities. But then now that I'm like thirty
or almost thirty one, it's like, okay, well college girls
(14:59):
are too young, yeah and so, and it's like, all right,
who actually lives here and is like you know, so
that starts to really narrow it down. And then you know,
I either grew up with them already or dated them
before my friend.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Did, or so that's interesting. Huh.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, So this opportunity came up, and it's like, well,
you could meet someone from like my gals were from
all over the country.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
So so do you are you looking also for someone
who will be into the farming lifestyle whatever that is.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
So, I know, Matt and I talked about this a lot.
We're not like the lifestyle, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
What's the lifestyle in terms of like.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Wyat yeah quiet.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
It was traditional so much aimed at the work. Like
a lot of people on the show, we were focusing
on like the farm work, ye, like the living, like
living in the country, you know, raising my children in
those types of areas, and like the big thing for
us is like I really love all of our neighbors.
Like all the other neighbors are families who farm and
ranch and a really good people and so like, you know,
(16:02):
the kids my nephews go to school, if like they're
these neighbor kids that they all play with and it's
like just such a good life.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You know, you have like nine nieces and.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Nephews and a god daughter and like twenty other kids
that think I'm on their uncle.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Do you like maybe you've got like some biological clock
thing going on here, Like the kids thing is, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
I want kids pretty quick. Once I get married, it's
going to be we're going to start rifleing.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, but I want to, you know, kids, since I
was really always wanted to be a dad.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Really it's very cool. So you guys are just right
for the picking. I'm okay, So anyway nice because I
mean you both could be I don't know. I know again,
I've got a son your age around your age, and
he has zero interest. He's just having himself a good
old time. He's not like thinking eventually, I know he
wants that we'll enjoy.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Why you got it?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, I will say, like one thing. So up moved
to Austin, Texas for.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
A bit I graduated from your tea, did you Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So you know what it's like there? Then yeah, But
I moved there, and I I felt way younger all
of a sudden, because there's a lot of people, like,
you know, older than I am that are still single
and like going out and there all stuff. So like,
all of a sudden, thirty is like pretty young in
that scene.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Like thirty is really young.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, but like comparatively so yeah yeah. And then but
when I'm back home, it's like it's totally different. So
really depending on where you live, too, like you feel
it more.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
I think, yeah, know, we my husband was thirty six
when we met, and I was I guess I was
like twenty nine, and but we were living in New
York City, so that felt.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, yeah, especially yeah in those places.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You know, it's not So what is your favorite part
about being an.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Uncle, Matt? There's a lot lots of it, But I'm
just happy to be so close with them. I feel
like I've had a hand in raising all of them
in a way, you know, and I know how much
I mean to them, and so you know, like I
did move away for a couple of years, and it's
like I think The thing that really broke the straw
(17:58):
for me moving home was my nephew Jack was like,
I was like, Hey, how's there everything going back at home?
He's like, it's really good, but there's just always a
little something missing. And I was like, like, I think
I want to move home.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
John, your five siblings, you got this kind of the
same big family thing going on.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Yeah, basically most my oldest sibling and then my two
closest younger ones are all out of the house New York,
LA and in college. And then so the two younger
ones are still in Saint Louis with me and the
rest of the family, and they call me brother dad,
oh my parents. You know, it's time's going on. I've
taken a more lenient approach with the younger ones, and.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
You don't, and you're not having it.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I'm not having it.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Is that important to you that whoever you meet and
eventually Mary also have really want to be part of
a big family, not like an extended family. Did that
come up on the show? Did you ask that question?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Family was definitely a big conversation, and.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
You can pretty quickly tell with with people, I think
and talking to girls like how much they care about
that or not.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
And does it matter if they came from a close
family or no, No, as.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Long as they're open to it a lot as they like,
because I feel like I've met girls who didn't have
a big family and then they like love that I do. Yeah,
it's not that they came from that.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
But yeah, what are some of your deal breakers? What
were some of your deal breakers? Like, I mean, when
you were making your list, was there anything that you're
like and not this not interested in a woman who's
high maintenance or I don't know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Just insecurity was a big thing for me because that
translates to a lot of different stuff. So if they're
insecure about themselves, it's usually just going to reflect very
poorly relationship.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, mine, I think is not something I could really
like you could type down necessarily. But respect is like
the biggest thing for me because so many I don't
want to say girls and sounds nice, but like so
many people these days just don't have a respect for
each other in relationships. And whether that's like posting like
an inappropriate photo of yourself online while you're with one,
(20:00):
or just the way you speak to somebody in conversation
or just how you, you know, conduct yourself out in
the world of DTA girls in the past that are
just like doing their own thing, and it's like society
has changed a little bit, I think. So it feels normal,
but it's just I think disrespectful. Honestly, if you're with
someone like you should care about what how they feel
(20:22):
and like what they want, and yeah, that's just a
big thing lack in these days. I think.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
I think a big indicator of that if you take
them to dinner and have them order their own food
and drinks and stuff, and see how they treat the
waiters and waitresses. It's usually a good indicator of how
they respect others. There's people that treat poor media turn
off or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Anybody.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You're both perfect. I don't even know what to say.
I feel so I cannot imagine being part of this
group of was there fighting with these girls?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Of course, So you put a bunch of women in
this same house trying to date the same guy, of
course there's going to be issues.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I mean they're listening. There are other dating shows so
that that obviously, and you see that happen.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
There's a lot of competition, but this one I always
say I was super impressed with all the women the
whole time for how they handled situations within each other
and like how well they got along, like they all
were friends too, and like some of them still are
to this day. That was pretty cool because just like
I said, like how they're if I'm you know, one
of these girls is treating the other ones poorly in
the house, it's like not a good sign.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love the I love that whole like waiter thing
that is the biggest turnoff. Yeah, it's awful anybody in
the service industry. I mean I was a waitress for years,
but even I like, yeah, it's awful.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Translates to the rest of your life. It's not just
treating you know, people in service industry, and we have.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Like you know, employees on the ranch and all kinds
of different people come through there. So it's like some
of the girls like funny story, like, uh, Mario's this
guy we've had work on the ranch for twenty years
and just read this quadrontle day whatever. But like some
of the girls treated him so well, Like it was
cool to see that. I'm like really like that, you know,
like he works his butt off here and he means
a lot to our family, and so they could have
(22:04):
totally just you know, disregarded him, which some of them
may have, but like, you know, a lot a few
of them were like went out of their way to like.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know, you guys are both like you giggle at
each other's stuff, and I have a feeling like there's
so much behind the scenes, like I love to just
be do you guys say, in the house together or
so we were separated us.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
In California as in Missouri, so.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You guys weren't interacting with all the time production teams. Yeah,
but three different times throughout the filming we'd fly and
meet each other with all the girls on us at
the mutual place for a couple of days. Then we
talk shopping.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Got it. This particular podcast that you have come on
today is we usually are talking to people who are
divorced or who've been widowed, but but love the second
(22:59):
timer around. You know, what do you think are sort
of key elements in terms of making a marriage work?
And hopefully you all will never be on this podcast
for that reason it won't be your second time around,
But do you have any inkling in terms of like
what happens in marriages and why they sometimes go awry
or what's necessary to have.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I don't want to speak for anyone else. Obviously, I
have not been married and not been through divorce, so
you know, there's all kinds of different scenarios and reasons,
and I'm no person to judge whatsoever based on that.
I've dated a girl in the past that was divorced
and she was amazing, so no fault to that. But
I think goes back to what I said about just
respect and people to me these days are so self
(23:43):
centered and like what they want and what they're looking
for that you know, really you should be thinking like
how can I be a better partner to the person
that I'm with? You're killing me And that all gets.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Back you're killing me both of you.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
That all goes back to God. I think if you
have eleven ors for God, then you too will put
each other better.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Amazing. You can't top that, but go ahead and try.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Well, I mean I'll try.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
But I agree with him in the beginning where he
said everybody's situations are different, so no judgment whatsoever. And
I have no personal experience with a marriage.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
I've never been married.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
But the way I see my parents do. It is
obviously they always make up before bed, and then they
both going into the marriage realized and still realize that
it's a partnership. You know, it's not one person.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Being there. I don't know where I'm going with that.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
No, I know what you're saying. It goes back to
respect and to right.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
You're one person. Yeah, you're just not two separate people together.
It's like it's one person.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Sorry, buy us a sacrifice where the other falls short
and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Right, right, So I'm sorry, but we're going to have
to be a little more salacious. Now, guys, what can
you tell me? What can't you tell me? Are you
allowed to tell me there are any spoilers?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Why don't you just ask the question somebody?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Now we can't say, right exactly, we're going to ask question,
why are you even ask? Okay?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Were there were you guys? As hard was it? Did
it come down to like their two girls that it
came down to or three girls?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
And it was tough?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It was.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
At the beginning when we met all eight, it was
a little easier, especially because you only got to spend
ten minutes with the person, right, But then as time
went on, you started to build these, you know, stronger
relationships with each and every girl. It started to get
really tough, especially at the end when it was down
to like three and two and stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Like you when I say, is there, are you happy
with how it all wrapped up? You are? You both
met someone I'm guessing I said, yeah, that's it because
we never had friends before. About yourselves, guys going through
the experience, let me.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Think about that. One The hardest thing I already knew
this about myself was but I don't really like getting
into like talking about my feelings, you know, especially on TV.
That was really hard because you're like daily they're like prying,
like what what do you really feel about this girl?
That was difficult for me to do.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Do you come from a family where people where you
guys talk about feelings a lot or is it just.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
So much right now? Not really like ever my family
about a feeling. My family is like loving, but we
don't like get too much or anything like that. So, yeah,
that was difficult for me.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
You guys affectionate, Yeah, yeah, interesting ways, but I don't
know what that means.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, like fighting all the time.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Each other? Okay, yeah, I love.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
You, but I want.
Speaker 4 (26:41):
My dad told me, you know, he's been looking at
all these pictures his way of complimenting me, as he says,
he wants to slap the.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Ship out of you. That's what my family. Families are
both like that. We would never say.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Anything like just like gross, like like you're just I
can just imagine, like my family, if someone did this,
we would just tear that person's shreds.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
NonStop.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I love that though, But you.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Know what keep it coming comming.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So wait, so did you learn anything about yourself?
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I guess I learned more what I really wanted, you know,
going into the show, like I said, we have those
preferences and everything, but going through it and having to
talk about it every single day from dawn till dusk,
you kind of have a more narrow sense of what
you actually are looking.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
For, what stood out the most, So by the end
of it, like what what made sense that maybe didn't before,
Like I really want to like in terms of when
you got close to finding that that one woman, this
is what I like. I didn't even realize I liked it,
but this is so important to me or anything.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I think it just goes back to what I said
earlier about just being able to get along with somebody. Yeah,
you know, you come in with all these high expectations,
but in the end, you know, if you guys can't
really get along, it's not really going to work out. So,
you know, especially if you're going to get married, you're
going to be spending a lot of time with each other.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
So there's true plenty of things to learn, that's true.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Used to so as long as you guys get along
right off the bat, right, it's usually okay.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yeah, mine, mine. I've been thinking about how to describe
this for years, but mine is just such like this
mental thing, like I feel like I can almost just
like look at someone and know, like are we thinking
the same thing right now? You know, And it's like
this like I don't know how you put that into
words or describe that, but like this connection And I've
really hardly ever felt that with girls, you know, yeah,
throughout my life maybe a couple of times, you know, And.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
So like, yeah, did you get to feel that on
the show.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Well, you know, it's certainly possible, okay, but trying, but yeah,
it's like I've dated girls that I thought I really
liked before and then like as time has gone on,
I'm like, wait, maybe like that it is not really
there as much as I thought.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
You know, yep, did you have a specific physical type
like in your past? Did you always gravitate towards a
specific physical type or no? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:57):
No, generally yes, but I'm not like, oh, I only
like are only like that's like that's not so much that,
it's more of like careful, be careful.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Lying here.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
No, I'm really into my health and like fitness, and obviously.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
You like thin girls. Yes, yeah, okay, that's no, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Just someone that's like that's important to me. It's like
my health and coolness, and I want someone that aligns
with that.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
So yeah, somebody who's confident in themselves too. Yeah, it's mate,
it's massive.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
I'm a sucker for a girl that's like really stylish
and trendy. Yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I love that? Yeah are you?
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah? Of course?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah. So the stylish thing, the fit thing. You got
to give me something over here? What else physically?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Yeah, I'm not going to get myself trouble.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
You want to talk about hair color, I'll say hair color, okay, okay,
we'll give you that.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
I think I gravitate more towards.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Blondes responds, Okay, fifty to fifty on that one.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Okay, I'm not going to say, but that's just based short's.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
All right, whatever, you guys are impossible.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
You're smart.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
You guys, you are smart guys. You're gonna get all
these are gonna have to watch to find out what
it is it turns you want. So before I let
you guys go, I have a question that sort of
goes back to what we were talking about in at
the beginning here, but so on the show, I would
think that the women have to be a little more forward,
don't They have sort of come to you?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Right?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Do you think that that's something that you like when
a woman makes the first move.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I guess it depends on where and how they do it.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, there's different.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Doesn't really bother me, No, but that's sort of how
it worked, right, Definitely.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Would I rather have it that way? No, But it's
not like it's a turnoff or anything.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
I think it's It's really hard. That's hard to answer,
is that it depends on how it's a situation a
situation answer, it depends in the past, had a girl
like approached me, but then just did it so well
like that I was still into it, you know, versus
you could do it and be like way over the
top and like hi, like hey around and all that
stuff and they're like, oh okay, this is a lot.
But I've had it too where a girl just like
(31:04):
has says some smart remark to me that walks away
and I'm like, oh okay, hell.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I don't recommend it for a girl though, because a
guy doesn't put in as much effort to impress them.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Guys. I appreciate this. I agree, I could guys don't
do that much anymore because they you know what. I
think that that just is true, and it's not true
for everybody, and it's not an absolute, but I think
that in terms of my experience, I think that men
do tend to want to take the lead right and
(31:35):
sort of again want what they think that they can't have.
And yeah, there's all this hunter gatherer philosophy behind it all, right,
like a hunters win are gatherers.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Unfortunately, a lot of guys I don't think they're doing
that as much these days.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yeah they're not making the first move, well they are.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
But they'll like an Instagram story and yeah, they you know, really.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I remember my brothers he's twelve years older than me,
but all his buddies when they'd go out and they'd
be talking like, oh, I went up to this girl
to night or I said this, and like then now,
I like compare that to like my friends or even
younger guys, and I'm like, they're not really doing that
at all, hardly.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
This is such a big conversation and I have so
much and you guys are going to have to come
back because I think that what you're saying right now
is fascinating and I feel like young men today, it's
a really big problem that they are swiping, swiping, swiping.
I think there's a lot of problems with self esteem
in that. I think that it is has created a
scenario where you know, you have to go out, you
(32:30):
have to it has to be face to face, you
got to get rejected, you got to make good decisions,
you got to make bad decisions. All of that I
think is so important. And when you're you know, in
the basement, swiping, swiping, it's it's just it's yeah, I
think it is a huge problem, but not our problem. Today.
We will be watching than John, Thank you, Thank you, guys.
(32:52):
So much. Are you ready to get back out there
and date again. Having a hard time getting started and
need some guidance. Our team is here to help. Call
us or email us, follow us on socials. All the
information will be in the show notes. Make sure to
rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two an
iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm one of
your celebrity mentors. It's Jenniferfessler from the Real Housewives of
New Jersey and co host of the podcast Two Jersey Jays.
Today is going to be fun. On this podcast, we
talk a lot about the chapter two of it all,
but today I'm going to be joined by two handsome
men who are trying to get it right the first
time around. Help me. Welcome John and Matt from the
(00:34):
new season A Farmer Wants a Wife to the podcast.
Hi guys, welcome, welcome, Thanks for having us, well, thank
you for coming. I have to say, the first thing
that occurs to me looking at the both of you is,
why would one choose to be a farmer when they
so obviously should be a model?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
What are you thinking?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
And probably I don't know if it would be easier
or not. It feels like it'd be easier than being
a farmer. But you're both gorgeous, and I mean you're
here and you're single looking for love. We're just so
excited to find out what is going on. Well, actually
wore my cowboy hat in your honor. I love it
out right right right, Thank you very flattering. Thank you.
So all right, let's get into all the upcoming season.
(01:14):
A farmer wants a wife. We actually just talked about
this on a recent episode of the podcast. But did
you guys know that, according to a divorce attorney, farmers
are one of the professions least likely to cheat in
a marriage.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Really, have you heard that?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Someone else told me that recently. I don't remember where
I heard that, but I definitely believe it.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Ladies, if you didn't want them because they're so good looking,
here's the thing, they're all so loyal. So top three
careers to not cheat accountant's, pharmacists, and farmers.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Wow. Right, accountant surprises me too.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
My husband started out as an accountant. And if we're
going to be real here on the pod, didn't really
work out that quite that way for us. We're still together.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Oh you're the exception. I guess we were the exception.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yes, yeah, but I think that's interesting. I mean, you
guys are still you're still young, but you really are
looking to settle down, both of you.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah about young?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Wow, well, what are you thirty? I'm thirty.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
I'm twice six.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
You don't think that that's young.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
No, I was proud.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You guys bring this dynamic to the show. Yeah, you
became good friends, there four of you.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
The first day I walked up on filming, I hadn't
met the guys in and immediately like, you're the oldest one.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Okay, listen, I can't have this conversation. I'm fifty six
years old. So you guys have this among I appreciate that. Wow,
your baby. I have a twenty five year old son.
Oh really, I'm getting depressed. Let's move on. Tell me
a little bit about we're just going to start jump
right in. What kind of woman that you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Let's go first, Go ahead, man, let's take this one
all right. You know, I'll say too that I was
pretty impressed on the show, like they really did care about,
like what you're looking for. It's not just based off
and whatever, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
So the things that I you know, it's not just
looks that you're looking for.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
No, I like looks, but the things that I had
said is like a you know, really family oriented Christian
and you know, just someone that likes to have fun
is my biggest thing, because I love just traveling and
doing things and being out with friends and all that
kind of stuff. So I've been with gals in the past,
I like don't enjoy that as much. And so that
(03:27):
creates problems there.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Because is it a travel thing or just not so.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Much travel, but just you know, being with friends, being
with my family. I just some girls, you know, they
just want to be just with you all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Red Flag girl doesn't have girlfriends or a lot of girlfriends.
It is. Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, in my experience, been pretty good indication of no.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I think that's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, which, you know, teach their out. You don't have
to do that but.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
For you, for me, because I'm not to make it
about me, but I like to do that. But like
I am a very social person and my husband really
never was. But for some reason it worked. I could
kind of brought them over to the dark side. But yeah,
I guess maybe easier to start out with someone that's
like you, likes to go out, likes to mix it
up a little bit. Bavel what about you? What are
(04:13):
we looking for?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I mean, going into the show, I was really looking
for somebody who would just be a great mother, you know,
somebody who's nurturing and caring, also support me through and through.
So that I could do the same for her. But
going through the show and you know, coming out of
it after like kind of being reflective in the OTF,
which is what we call the interviews, the side of interviews,
(04:34):
I kind of just decide on somebody, you know, I
want somebody who I can just really get along with
in the end, because that's all that really matters. That's
who you're going to be spending the rest of your
life with. So if you really can't get along with
that person.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Then yeah, no, I think it's that's absolutely true. But
I'm going to say to you both that all of
what you're saying, I mean I think that a lot
of girls can fit the bill right what you're describing,
likes to have fun and someone you can get along with.
So I got to get we're going have to get
a little deep for right, Christian very true sost to you.
Both of you or someone someone open to it religious,
(05:09):
we're both okay, So I mean that's helpful, right, so
that at least we can narrow it down a little bit.
Anything else you can give me though, and maybe even
after filming, like specifics, I really I realized that I
like girls with whatever long dark hair, or I like
girls that love Would you bond with any of these
girls specifically over something I like?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I really like girls that don't like me as much.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's a horrible it is not let me tell you something.
You came to the right place because I don't like No,
because I used to work for this. I used to
work for these women that wrote a book called The Rules,
and the Rules is all about how to play hard
to get. This is going back when I was your age.
I worked for these people and there's this whole philosophy
on it that I actually subscribe to and I try
(05:56):
to get my daughters to subscribe to it as well.
Is men just love the chase it is. I don't
know if that's a good thing, a bad thing, if
it's feminist, if it's not. But I just think that
most men want what they don't think they can have.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
And I think that's super nature eneral.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, but yeah, I could definitely see that with men,
especially when I mean personally, when I was younger, I
definitely had that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, it's changed for me, definitely.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Changes older and older.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Really Yeah, Yeah, when I was like early you know,
early twenties, whatever you want to say, that really was
like that, but then as time has gone on, it's like, okay,
kind of like some of that, but not not too
much because.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Not you you want a bitch, but like you want
someone who's not how I.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Was going to say it, but yes, yeah, but just
you know, it's just as soon as you are with
someone and it's like right off the bat, they're just
infatuated with you.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And I'm kind of stay turn off.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
It is for me unfortunately, and I hate to say
that because it's flattering, and like.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
You, I know what it is.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Do you watch need it? No?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I really watch TV.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I can't these two. I can't. How how did you
guys end? Yes, it's Bravo. Well, there's a couple on
it right now and she is just way too upfront
with in terms of how she feels and wanting to
get serious too soon. But anyway, no, I think that's
that's really interesting. So girls that play a little hard
to get.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Yeah, well, I think the unfortunate thing about well, I
wouldn't say unfortunate, but the interesting thing about this show
is we filmed it all in one month, so you know,
by the end of it, people either had to come
out of their show, like that right, or stay reserved.
So it's okay, interesting to see how everybody kind of
plays out after having that discussion.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, it's really like read six months compressed at the
one dating, you know, because.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
You've got to get right into it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
You're talking about like really serious. So I'll never do
that like in a normal.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Dating situation, right, No, that's very true. So interesting. I'm
just picturing what I would tell my daughter if she
was going on like I would definitely tell her to
play hard to get. But how do you do that
in a month when you're supposed to get to know
everyone and get your cards out on the table. All right?
So what kind of marriages do you guys come from?
Tell me a little bit about your parents. Have they
ever been parents? Still together?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
My parents would? They've been together forty six years? I think, wow,
never even considered it.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Forty six years. They started young.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, my dad's early seventies and my mom's getting close
to seventy.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You have boost too, sisters.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
There's four of us. I'm the youngest and.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You're the youngest, right, Okay, coming together now? Got it?
Very strong, Maria and they very strong? Happy, Yes, Niver,
fight come on, I swear. Really, Oh my god, I
feel bad for the girl you end up with.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's tough to compare. But my dad's still gets upset
she's gone for more than a day or two.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Really, that's very cool.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, I love that. I know it's getting rid of
these days. So that's it's really cool to come from that.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
That seems like quite a fairy tale marriage.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah, really, it really is.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Well, my parents are is probably more I wouldn't no,
not no offense to you, but like more realistic in
the sense they do fight obviously, but they always make
up before bed. That's one of the big things.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Really.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yeah, and they've been together for multiple years as well.
I come from six siblings, so I think that was
one of the biggest He is a glue that held
our whole family to better. Is just having a lot
of siblings.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You guys grew up one of you in California. Yeah,
I can't say it, abyss. How do you say it?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
San Louis obispo?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You say's slow for sure, San Leuis obispo.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Slow is a good abbreviation people, so.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Slow, okay, And then Saint Louis Saint Louis right, Yeah,
So I'm just picturing these marriages and these lives and
these kids, and it all seems very wholesome and very
small towns. I don't know that much about San Louis.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It is like fifty thousand people, so it's smaller, but
it's a college of town. There's a lot of stuff
going on there still so of good mix of both.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Okay, I'm just trying to If I say the Walton,
do you won't even know what I'm talking about, right,
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
God, the Walton.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
It was a show that I watched about this fan
and they lived on a farm, and they would so
wholesome and whatever. So you lived. It sounds to me
like even though different states sort of similar worlds may
be very country.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah, yeah, it seems like it, you know, the country
for me.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Actually not very countryport or really not that way. Oh
they're not okay, yeah, okay, yeah. And in these towns though,
you guys, I'm picturing you dating a lot. I'm picturing
you guys, neither one of you having a problem meeting girls.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well, it's you know, I wouldn't consider Saint Louis a
small town, but right people like to consider it a
big small town. Everybody knows everybody. The one question you
asked when find out somebody's from Saint Louis is what
high school did.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
You go to?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Really, and then you can immediately gauge who they knew,
where they came from, what realiation they usually are.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, so that's you. That's where I grew up.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
See, I didn't picture. I know, I wasn't really talking
about Saint Louis. If you guys lived in very small
like I say, I'm from Houston, I'm only from Sugarland,
like there's it's just sort of small, like but Californ
in Saint Louis so not small small but no.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
The thing with the reason I'm on Farmer wants a
Wife is because my mom grew up on a farm
that's been our family for five generations about an hour
and a half south of Saint Louis, and my grandfather
still lives there, and I go down there and help
them out where I can, and you know, ultimately want to.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Live that lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Cool.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
So she was in the city and met my dad
on a Fourth of July party and then she stuck around.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So dating apps, tell me about your experience. How do
you use them? What's your experience been.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
I don't know how to put it down into one word. Interesting.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Yeah, Tender and Bumble. We're definitely younger apps that I used,
like high school, college and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And then I kind of moved just towards airing it
down on the Hinge.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Yeah, but I haven't had Hinge for like, you know
and a half two years now, so why it just
started to get ridiculous. You know, nobody was actually really
on there to date. You know, it's just more of
a let's go get a drink and hook up.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, so okay, interesting, but it was fun. Yeah, yeah,
it sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
And I've virtually never had any dating apps. I think,
like when Tender first came out, like I don't know,
ten years ago, I had it for like a week
or two. Okay, but just not my style whatsoever. I
just I think I'm really social. I love being out
and like beating girls and like that's fun, like the
experience of it or the thrill, you know, like walking
(12:24):
up to a random girl at a bar like that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I mean, I have to tell you, I'm looking at
you guys, and I'm picturing that I don't know who
couldn't you go on Farmer Wants a White Like I
would think that you're both overwhelmed with dates, like I
can't imagine, like girls are just they must have gone crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
This is also on video, so you guys are going
to see what I'm talking about. But I've never seen
two more adorable boys and sweet with good families.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, were very blessed. I think of the both
of us, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, I have a daughter. Okay, we'll talk after
the show.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
To go on the show.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, she's not leaving me. She's not leaving
New Jersey. Tell me a little bit about you know,
getting on the show. Were you excited to meet all
these women like you must have been a little intimidating
all at once, real life women, real life dates. You know,
(13:24):
we're you nervous?
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Yeah, extremely. We walked into this big great room where
we had will just see the ladies for the first time.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Were that it was everybody is everybody mid twenties, early thirties.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Yeah, you got to mine were yeah, yeah, kind of
got to ask.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
That's what name you did?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Well, because it's funny because I got I have a
question for you guys a little bit. I was gonna
ask a little bit later, but why not just jump
right in? Have you ever dated older women?
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Yeah, couple within the same like year.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That's not older within the same year.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
You just said, yeah, like I was ninety nine, so
like usually within ninety nine, ninety eight, ninety seven.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Got it. I'm meant older, like old or older. Now,
I think maybe put that, you know what. I think
maybe our producers wanted me to ask, just to like
humiliate myself, like I'm not looking for a long time,
very cute.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
But she's all specifically yeah, specifically, No, it's we're like
four years.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I think that does not count.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You guys have never dated older?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay, so all right, let's just talk also a little
bit about the fact that you are farmers. And I'm
thinking that it's that part of why it's you know,
been hard to you know, maybe nail something down get
because you're so busy with your farming.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I would not say that for me. I can't speak
for John, but I do live in somewhat of a
smaller area and I did grow up and there's one
high school there, and so when I was like early
twenties at college, ten too, So there's like new girls
moving into the area all the time, so like there's
way more opportunities. But then now that I'm like thirty
or almost thirty one, it's like, okay, well college girls
(14:59):
are too young, yeah and so, and it's like, all right,
who actually lives here and is like you know, so
that starts to really narrow it down. And then you know,
I either grew up with them already or dated them
before my friend.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Did, or so that's interesting. Huh.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yeah, So this opportunity came up, and it's like, well,
you could meet someone from like my gals were from
all over the country.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
So so do you are you looking also for someone
who will be into the farming lifestyle whatever that is.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
So, I know, Matt and I talked about this a lot.
We're not like the lifestyle, yes, but.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
What's the lifestyle in terms of like.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Wyat yeah quiet.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
It was traditional so much aimed at the work. Like
a lot of people on the show, we were focusing
on like the farm work, ye, like the living, like
living in the country, you know, raising my children in
those types of areas, and like the big thing for
us is like I really love all of our neighbors.
Like all the other neighbors are families who farm and
ranch and a really good people and so like, you know,
(16:02):
the kids my nephews go to school, if like they're
these neighbor kids that they all play with and it's
like just such a good life.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You know, you have like nine nieces and.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Nephews and a god daughter and like twenty other kids
that think I'm on their uncle.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Do you like maybe you've got like some biological clock
thing going on here, Like the kids thing is, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
I want kids pretty quick. Once I get married, it's
going to be we're going to start rifleing.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, but I want to, you know, kids, since I
was really always wanted to be a dad.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Really it's very cool. So you guys are just right
for the picking. I'm okay, So anyway nice because I
mean you both could be I don't know. I know again,
I've got a son your age around your age, and
he has zero interest. He's just having himself a good
old time. He's not like thinking eventually, I know he
wants that we'll enjoy.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Why you got it?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, I will say, like one thing. So up moved
to Austin, Texas for.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
A bit I graduated from your tea, did you Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So you know what it's like there? Then yeah, But
I moved there, and I I felt way younger all
of a sudden, because there's a lot of people, like,
you know, older than I am that are still single
and like going out and there all stuff. So like,
all of a sudden, thirty is like pretty young in
that scene.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Like thirty is really young.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, but like comparatively so yeah yeah. And then but
when I'm back home, it's like it's totally different. So
really depending on where you live, too, like you feel
it more.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
I think, yeah, know, we my husband was thirty six
when we met, and I was I guess I was
like twenty nine, and but we were living in New
York City, so that felt.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, yeah, especially yeah in those places.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You know, it's not So what is your favorite part
about being an.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Uncle, Matt? There's a lot lots of it, But I'm
just happy to be so close with them. I feel
like I've had a hand in raising all of them
in a way, you know, and I know how much
I mean to them, and so you know, like I
did move away for a couple of years, and it's
like I think The thing that really broke the straw
(17:58):
for me moving home was my nephew Jack was like,
I was like, Hey, how's there everything going back at home?
He's like, it's really good, but there's just always a
little something missing. And I was like, like, I think
I want to move home.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
John, your five siblings, you got this kind of the
same big family thing going on.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Yeah, basically most my oldest sibling and then my two
closest younger ones are all out of the house New York,
LA and in college. And then so the two younger
ones are still in Saint Louis with me and the
rest of the family, and they call me brother dad,
oh my parents. You know, it's time's going on. I've
taken a more lenient approach with the younger ones, and.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
You don't, and you're not having it.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I'm not having it.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Is that important to you that whoever you meet and
eventually Mary also have really want to be part of
a big family, not like an extended family. Did that
come up on the show? Did you ask that question?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Family was definitely a big conversation, and.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
You can pretty quickly tell with with people, I think
and talking to girls like how much they care about
that or not.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
And does it matter if they came from a close
family or no, No, as.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Long as they're open to it a lot as they like,
because I feel like I've met girls who didn't have
a big family and then they like love that I do. Yeah,
it's not that they came from that.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
But yeah, what are some of your deal breakers? What
were some of your deal breakers? Like, I mean, when
you were making your list, was there anything that you're
like and not this not interested in a woman who's
high maintenance or I don't know, I'm.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Just insecurity was a big thing for me because that
translates to a lot of different stuff. So if they're
insecure about themselves, it's usually just going to reflect very
poorly relationship.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, mine, I think is not something I could really
like you could type down necessarily. But respect is like
the biggest thing for me because so many I don't
want to say girls and sounds nice, but like so
many people these days just don't have a respect for
each other in relationships. And whether that's like posting like
an inappropriate photo of yourself online while you're with one,
(20:00):
or just the way you speak to somebody in conversation
or just how you, you know, conduct yourself out in
the world of DTA girls in the past that are
just like doing their own thing, and it's like society
has changed a little bit, I think. So it feels normal,
but it's just I think disrespectful. Honestly, if you're with
someone like you should care about what how they feel
(20:22):
and like what they want, and yeah, that's just a
big thing lack in these days. I think.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
I think a big indicator of that if you take
them to dinner and have them order their own food
and drinks and stuff, and see how they treat the
waiters and waitresses. It's usually a good indicator of how
they respect others. There's people that treat poor media turn
off or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Anybody.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You're both perfect. I don't even know what to say.
I feel so I cannot imagine being part of this
group of was there fighting with these girls?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Of course, So you put a bunch of women in
this same house trying to date the same guy, of
course there's going to be issues.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I mean they're listening. There are other dating shows so
that that obviously, and you see that happen.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
There's a lot of competition, but this one I always
say I was super impressed with all the women the
whole time for how they handled situations within each other
and like how well they got along, like they all
were friends too, and like some of them still are
to this day. That was pretty cool because just like
I said, like how they're if I'm you know, one
of these girls is treating the other ones poorly in
the house, it's like not a good sign.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love the I love that whole like waiter thing
that is the biggest turnoff. Yeah, it's awful anybody in
the service industry. I mean I was a waitress for years,
but even I like, yeah, it's awful.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Translates to the rest of your life. It's not just
treating you know, people in service industry, and we have.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Like you know, employees on the ranch and all kinds
of different people come through there. So it's like some
of the girls like funny story, like, uh, Mario's this
guy we've had work on the ranch for twenty years
and just read this quadrontle day whatever. But like some
of the girls treated him so well, Like it was
cool to see that. I'm like really like that, you know,
like he works his butt off here and he means
a lot to our family, and so they could have
(22:04):
totally just you know, disregarded him, which some of them
may have, but like, you know, a lot a few
of them were like went out of their way to like.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know, you guys are both like you giggle at
each other's stuff, and I have a feeling like there's
so much behind the scenes, like I love to just
be do you guys say, in the house together or
so we were separated us.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
In California as in Missouri, so.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You guys weren't interacting with all the time production teams. Yeah,
but three different times throughout the filming we'd fly and
meet each other with all the girls on us at
the mutual place for a couple of days. Then we
talk shopping.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Got it. This particular podcast that you have come on
today is we usually are talking to people who are
divorced or who've been widowed, but but love the second
(22:59):
timer around. You know, what do you think are sort
of key elements in terms of making a marriage work?
And hopefully you all will never be on this podcast
for that reason it won't be your second time around,
But do you have any inkling in terms of like
what happens in marriages and why they sometimes go awry
or what's necessary to have.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I don't want to speak for anyone else. Obviously, I
have not been married and not been through divorce, so
you know, there's all kinds of different scenarios and reasons,
and I'm no person to judge whatsoever based on that.
I've dated a girl in the past that was divorced
and she was amazing, so no fault to that. But
I think goes back to what I said about just
respect and people to me these days are so self
(23:43):
centered and like what they want and what they're looking
for that you know, really you should be thinking like
how can I be a better partner to the person
that I'm with? You're killing me And that all gets.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Back you're killing me both of you.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
That all goes back to God. I think if you
have eleven ors for God, then you too will put
each other better.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Amazing. You can't top that, but go ahead and try.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Well, I mean I'll try.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
But I agree with him in the beginning where he
said everybody's situations are different, so no judgment whatsoever. And
I have no personal experience with a marriage.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
I've never been married.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
But the way I see my parents do. It is
obviously they always make up before bed, and then they
both going into the marriage realized and still realize that
it's a partnership. You know, it's not one person.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Being there. I don't know where I'm going with that.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
No, I know what you're saying. It goes back to
respect and to right.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
You're one person. Yeah, you're just not two separate people together.
It's like it's one person.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Sorry, buy us a sacrifice where the other falls short
and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Right, right, So I'm sorry, but we're going to have
to be a little more salacious. Now, guys, what can
you tell me? What can't you tell me? Are you
allowed to tell me there are any spoilers?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Why don't you just ask the question somebody?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Now we can't say, right exactly, we're going to ask question,
why are you even ask? Okay?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Were there were you guys? As hard was it? Did
it come down to like their two girls that it
came down to or three girls?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
And it was tough?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It was.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
At the beginning when we met all eight, it was
a little easier, especially because you only got to spend
ten minutes with the person, right, But then as time
went on, you started to build these, you know, stronger
relationships with each and every girl. It started to get
really tough, especially at the end when it was down
to like three and two and stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Like you when I say, is there, are you happy
with how it all wrapped up? You are? You both
met someone I'm guessing I said, yeah, that's it because
we never had friends before. About yourselves, guys going through
the experience, let me.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Think about that. One The hardest thing I already knew
this about myself was but I don't really like getting
into like talking about my feelings, you know, especially on TV.
That was really hard because you're like daily they're like prying,
like what what do you really feel about this girl?
That was difficult for me to do.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Do you come from a family where people where you
guys talk about feelings a lot or is it just.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
So much right now? Not really like ever my family
about a feeling. My family is like loving, but we
don't like get too much or anything like that. So, yeah,
that was difficult for me.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
You guys affectionate, Yeah, yeah, interesting ways, but I don't
know what that means.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, like fighting all the time.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Each other? Okay, yeah, I love.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
You, but I want.
Speaker 4 (26:41):
My dad told me, you know, he's been looking at
all these pictures his way of complimenting me, as he says,
he wants to slap the.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Ship out of you. That's what my family. Families are
both like that. We would never say.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Anything like just like gross, like like you're just I
can just imagine, like my family, if someone did this,
we would just tear that person's shreds.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
NonStop.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I love that though, But you.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Know what keep it coming comming.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
So wait, so did you learn anything about yourself?
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I guess I learned more what I really wanted, you know,
going into the show, like I said, we have those
preferences and everything, but going through it and having to
talk about it every single day from dawn till dusk,
you kind of have a more narrow sense of what
you actually are looking.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
For, what stood out the most, So by the end
of it, like what what made sense that maybe didn't before,
Like I really want to like in terms of when
you got close to finding that that one woman, this
is what I like. I didn't even realize I liked it,
but this is so important to me or anything.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
I think it just goes back to what I said
earlier about just being able to get along with somebody. Yeah,
you know, you come in with all these high expectations,
but in the end, you know, if you guys can't
really get along, it's not really going to work out. So,
you know, especially if you're going to get married, you're
going to be spending a lot of time with each other.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
So there's true plenty of things to learn, that's true.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Used to so as long as you guys get along
right off the bat, right, it's usually okay.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yeah, mine, mine. I've been thinking about how to describe
this for years, but mine is just such like this
mental thing, like I feel like I can almost just
like look at someone and know, like are we thinking
the same thing right now? You know, And it's like
this like I don't know how you put that into
words or describe that, but like this connection And I've
really hardly ever felt that with girls, you know, yeah,
throughout my life maybe a couple of times, you know, And.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
So like, yeah, did you get to feel that on
the show.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Well, you know, it's certainly possible, okay, but trying, but yeah,
it's like I've dated girls that I thought I really
liked before and then like as time has gone on,
I'm like, wait, maybe like that it is not really
there as much as I thought.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
You know, yep, did you have a specific physical type
like in your past? Did you always gravitate towards a
specific physical type or no? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:57):
No, generally yes, but I'm not like, oh, I only
like are only like that's like that's not so much that,
it's more of like careful, be careful.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Lying here.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
No, I'm really into my health and like fitness, and obviously.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
You like thin girls. Yes, yeah, okay, that's no, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Just someone that's like that's important to me. It's like
my health and coolness, and I want someone that aligns
with that.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
So yeah, somebody who's confident in themselves too. Yeah, it's mate,
it's massive.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
I'm a sucker for a girl that's like really stylish
and trendy. Yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I love that? Yeah are you?
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah? Of course?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah. So the stylish thing, the fit thing. You got
to give me something over here? What else physically?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Yeah, I'm not going to get myself trouble.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
You want to talk about hair color, I'll say hair color, okay, okay,
we'll give you that.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
I think I gravitate more towards.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Blondes responds, Okay, fifty to fifty on that one.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Okay, I'm not going to say, but that's just based short's.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
All right, whatever, you guys are impossible.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
You're smart.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
You guys, you are smart guys. You're gonna get all
these are gonna have to watch to find out what
it is it turns you want. So before I let
you guys go, I have a question that sort of
goes back to what we were talking about in at
the beginning here, but so on the show, I would
think that the women have to be a little more forward,
don't They have sort of come to you?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Right?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Do you think that that's something that you like when
a woman makes the first move.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I guess it depends on where and how they do it.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah, there's different.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Doesn't really bother me, No, but that's sort of how
it worked, right, Definitely.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Would I rather have it that way? No, But it's
not like it's a turnoff or anything.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
I think it's It's really hard. That's hard to answer,
is that it depends on how it's a situation a
situation answer, it depends in the past, had a girl
like approached me, but then just did it so well
like that I was still into it, you know, versus
you could do it and be like way over the
top and like hi, like hey around and all that
stuff and they're like, oh okay, this is a lot.
But I've had it too where a girl just like
(31:04):
has says some smart remark to me that walks away
and I'm like, oh okay, hell.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
I don't recommend it for a girl though, because a
guy doesn't put in as much effort to impress them.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Guys. I appreciate this. I agree, I could guys don't
do that much anymore because they you know what. I
think that that just is true, and it's not true
for everybody, and it's not an absolute, but I think
that in terms of my experience, I think that men
do tend to want to take the lead right and
(31:35):
sort of again want what they think that they can't have.
And yeah, there's all this hunter gatherer philosophy behind it all, right,
like a hunters win are gatherers.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Unfortunately, a lot of guys I don't think they're doing
that as much these days.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yeah they're not making the first move, well they are.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
But they'll like an Instagram story and yeah, they you know, really.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I remember my brothers he's twelve years older than me,
but all his buddies when they'd go out and they'd
be talking like, oh, I went up to this girl
to night or I said this, and like then now,
I like compare that to like my friends or even
younger guys, and I'm like, they're not really doing that
at all, hardly.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
This is such a big conversation and I have so
much and you guys are going to have to come
back because I think that what you're saying right now
is fascinating and I feel like young men today, it's
a really big problem that they are swiping, swiping, swiping.
I think there's a lot of problems with self esteem
in that. I think that it is has created a
scenario where you know, you have to go out, you
(32:30):
have to it has to be face to face, you
got to get rejected, you got to make good decisions,
you got to make bad decisions. All of that I
think is so important. And when you're you know, in
the basement, swiping, swiping, it's it's just it's yeah, I
think it is a huge problem, but not our problem. Today.
We will be watching than John, Thank you, Thank you, guys.
(32:52):
So much. Are you ready to get back out there
and date again. Having a hard time getting started and
need some guidance. Our team is here to help. Call
us or email us, follow us on socials. All the
information will be in the show notes. Make sure to
rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two an
iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Host
Jennie Garth
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