May 28, 2025 • 43 mins
Kelly Bensimon is hanging out with Jana Kramer's bestie, Pamelyn, at Bottlerock! The two single women are getting personal when it comes to dating after divorce, and what their approach to love is like at this stage in their lives.
Then it's off to Bottlerock...only Kelly wants to make it interesting with some out-of-the-box challenges they need to complete!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm Kelly ben Simone,
one of your celebrity mentors here on the pod, and
I'm so excited because today.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I am joined with someone who's already been on the show.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
We loved getting to hear your story and how you're
opening up about finding love again. It's Jana Kramer's best
friend Pamelin back on the pod. Oh my god, I'm
so excited to meet you. We're live from iHeart Verbo
podcast House at Bottle Rock, and Wow, this place is incredible.
We're in Villa Montabella, one of Verbo's vacation rentals of
(00:49):
the Year in twenty twenty four, and it's everything you
could dream of. Seriously, the wine cave is insane. And
if you want your own amazing vacation rental, down tho
the Verbo app and out there twenty twenty five vacation
rentals of the Year. Trust us, you won't be disappointed.
So I mentioned that you were on the pod before,
and I was listening to all of your chats with
(01:15):
Jana and you're incredible and so open and so gorgeous.
Your Instagram is insane. I just learned recently you're not
supposed to use words like incredible, insane, all the words
that I use that are my go tos, you're not
supposed to use.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Any I saw the list, and honestly, what other words
are we supposed to use?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I know?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
So how am I supposed to say, like, wow, well
let's just go rogue and just do whatever we want?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Thank you, Pamela.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Love that.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So first of all, let's for those who are listening,
just a quick recap of you know, where you.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Are in your life.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So you and jan are best friends, You guys are neighbors. Yes,
you build houses next to each other. Yes, and Jana
may or not be babysit your daughter right now.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yes, Okay, So it takes a village, for sure, it
takes I just like counted, there were seven women involved
in helping me take care of my kids for forty
eight hours just to be able to leave.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
You know how beautiful is that?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That is amazing?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I mean it's a lot, but it's still like, you know,
a village, and I don't know what I would do
without that.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So I raised my kids in New York City, I
did not have that same village. There were forty eight
strangers but they were not women that I knew.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But anyway, my kids are fine. They're fine.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You know, strangers are great. So that's amazing, and that's
just so nice. You can come here and feel good
because you, you know, are taking care of your children
and working out and cooking and telling us everything on
your Instagram, which I love. I was feeling very insecure today.
I was like, Okay, do I do some push ups beforehand?
Or should I just go to the gym?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Or do I not eat?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I always eat?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Please, That's what I'm trying to like tell every woman,
you know, low calories is not the option.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Right, and I think too, which you're such a great
new role model to the Pod because you're single, you're
looking for love, but you're not like on the hunt.
You are organically open to finding love. And like last
night we were in the Cave.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
How cool is that one?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Oh my gosh, amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I know. I walked in there. I was like, this
is so cinematic, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
It was? Even the pictures made it look like that.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I just was like, oh my god, this place is amazing.
The food was incredible. We had so much fun. The
table was like so fun like every went from bacheloration,
the housewise well.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
In so many Yeah, different age groups and just different
walks of life, just all coming together.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
And couples that have been together for fifteen years. You know,
you and I are single.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
It's just like a fun mix of all these different people.
And we had a really interesting conversation and I loved
what you said about meeting people, and you said that
when you meet people, you are open to a relationship,
but you know, and you have relationships for long periods
of time.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's not like you're like in and out like some people.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Just the nature of the beasts, because we're like all
these apps and so much opportunity that we're meeting people,
and it's like going on one or two dates, but
you're really like you want to be with someone, you
want to get to know them, and you want.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You know, you're really looking for that person.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But you're not like, Okay, I'm just going to go
one or two dates and then fall in love and yeah, can.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You talk more about that?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I mean I think you have to be you know,
intentional number one and not just have like hopes for
somebody's potential and really like hone in on you know truly, like,
what is this person you know, going to.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Like do for me?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
And in return, like what can I you know, do
for them to better their lives?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Because at this.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Point in our lives we have a lot of things.
We have careers, we have our children, we have homes,
we have this life that we've already built, and so
if we're going to let somebody in and you know,
invest in that energy, it has to be like the
jackpot for me anyway.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
The jackpot. Do you guys?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Hear that hashtag the jackpot? Pamelin is telling us that's
what we want. Maybe that should be the new app
called the Jackpot. I love that It's She's like the jackpot,
mic drop. So when we're looking for that jackpot is
the single dad? Would you ever consider dating anyone who
is single dad?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I think ideally that would probably make the most sense
because they truly understand that we're not going to be
each other's main priority like ever, you know, I mean,
it's it's your kids and then I think yourself should
come next, or maybe even yourself first, then your kids, right,
(06:03):
because if we're not you know, mentally stable, and we're
not at at peace, nobody is.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Going to thrive, you know, and then it's like we're
talking then we're talking third place.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
And so if somebody, if somebody can't understand.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That third base, third place is.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Somebody can't understand that, then it's it's it's going to
be a little bit of a situation.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Have you ever had a conversation with someone and been like,
by the way, like you're going to be third place?
Speaker 4 (06:35):
And what do they say? Well, if they're a single dad,
they they get it.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
They're in They're like freaking sign me up, because this
is exactly what they're thinking.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
And and hoping.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I think most you know, are hoping that there are
women out there that also, you know, think like that.
And I think both men and women we get like scared,
you know what if we don't give that person enough,
like are they gonna, you know, not want to us,
Like do we have to be this, you know, drop
(07:08):
everything type of situation? And I don't think it has
to be like that. And for me, it won't be
like that or else I'm just not going to do it.
I'm just going to like stay in my happy, beautiful
little life with my community and my village and my
kids and my company and.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Travel and be so you know, so so happy.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Yeah, I do believe that somebody can make me even happier.
And I'm super excited for that opportunity. And you know,
I mean I visualize it. I'm like, you know, you
get excited about it. But I'm also not going to
romanticize something that's just not there or if that's not possible,
or that maybe somebody is not capable of.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Okay, so what if they haven't been married before, but
they do have kids.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Oh I don't care about that. Yeah, I don't care
about that. And again I say, ideally would be a
single dad. But I'm not closed off to somebody that's
like super emotionally just in charge and understands that, you know,
(08:18):
I have kids and that's you know, my main priority.
I mean, I think that there are also like people
out there that are so evolved in thinking like that
and realize if they're getting into a relationship, you know,
with a woman like that, that that's just like not
going to be the case. And I mean the older
we get, the older men get, the older women get.
(08:40):
We want to do our own thing, Like we want
the freedom to travel and to you know, make our
own decisions and not at the check in like hey,
I'm running to the store.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
I mean, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
And so to have freedom like that, I think is
the magic formula. I think a lot of times like
the demise of relationships are the mundane and like these
just you know, daily things that kind of can get
very boring if you're not spicing it up and making
a conscious effort to really invest in your relationship. And
(09:17):
you do that together because you have children together and
you're married, and this is what you kind of signed
up for, and that's just like you know, the societal norms.
But when you get out of a marriage and you're
not in that like thing that everybody you know, this
normal right and quotes relationship that everybody says that you're
supposed to do X, Y and Z, you have this
(09:40):
abundance of freedom to like make your own rules and
do whatever you want in that next relationship. And so
that's where I'm at. R Okay, like I'm going unconventional.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
See I've just been single for you know, over fifteen years,
and then I went and had that little blip. But
it's funny when you're talking about this, I sing it
up like I just want like my like love language
is like the normal sea and the consistency and like
having breakfast together and like making plans and like you.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Know what, you're going to the market.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
You want, you know, a coffee? Sure like that.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
I'm like creating. I love that.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
That's Ford, Illinois.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Your kids are older, right, so you have that space,
you have that capacity if.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I wanted that when they were younger.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
See, I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I tried to create it.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I was like, I raised my kids with a suburban
urban lifestyle whatever that means. Like so like Megan Markle,
and I'm like, you know, I tried to like create
this environment for them that was like every day, but
then we were also living in this wild, big city
and so I always like, that's I think one reason
(10:51):
why they are very like And I don't want to
say real because that's just sounds so that's.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
One of those weird words.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But well rounded, thank you.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
So yeah, But I guess I.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Just always wanted that. I just always wanted that. I
don't want the spice, I want the call.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I want the spice I need. Oh, I just want
for it. My name is Kelly, I'm a leo.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, the jungle, And I think eventually, you know, I'll
be forty seven and my kids are nine and eleven,
and so.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
They it's a daily thing.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
There's sports like crazy, there's they they need me a
lot right now. And so you know, when we talk
about the capacity, like what what is how much do
I have, you know, to give to somebody? And so
I and I'm selfish about the time I have with
my kids because now I only have them seventy percent
of the time.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
So when I'm with them.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's it's, you know, very intimate, and it's like I
drop everything so that I can really focus on that time.
And I'm not not saying that it can't overlap, you
know a little bit, but I think that I would
more so be thinking like you when they get you know,
a little bit older, and I have some and I'm
(12:11):
also scaling my company and trying to build this you know,
empire too, which is super important because I have to
take care of myself and my kids right monetarily, So
I need to.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Know.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
But I get that I love the simple thing. And
when I say spice it up, I don't like to
go out all the time. I don't do anything like that.
I don't even really drink it's not that that kind
of spice, but it's like let's have let's go and
we'll meet here for a chill weekend, you know, and
then we'll go here, and you know, maybe it's like
(12:48):
every other week when I don't have my kids, I
go to where he lives. Every other week he comes
for three days where I live. I mean, I think
that's like the flexibility and that like unconventional approach that
I think would work best for me right now. And
so I think subconsciously that's why I don't really date
in Nashville.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
I don't want you up in my backyard.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I don't want you up in my backyard.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
What about your children? Are they like Mommy, like, oh.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
They can't wait. They just want me to have And
so anytime I've dated, look.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
On TV and like that should be our daddy, give
their dad and they yeah, but like but they love that.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
They they So anytime I've dated anybody, they do not know.
I've never involved them and any of it. They've never
met anybody. And I just try to stay like compartmentalize
those two things right now. And that's not going to
be forever. And there probably wasn't anybody that was you know,
(14:04):
worth them meeting, but they just can't wait. Yeah, they
want all of these other step you know, brothers and sisters,
and they're like very specific on what they want.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
They want older brothers and sisters. Yeah, they want that
whole crew.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
It's interesting because like my kids would be like when
they were younger, I would say I want a family
for my family and I've always wanted that.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I told you that before, and my kids would be.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Like, okay, what does that mean? We have to share
with people your time. Now they're just like, Mom, we
just want you to like have a friend because like
you're like bothering us and there's only so much aloe
we can buy together, like we need you.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Need to have somebody else to call.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
And so they're sweet and they're obviously older now they're
twenty four and twenty seven, but it's just isn't it,
Like I need would never tell my mom, Like I
can't imagine like telling my mom like, you know, oh
you should do this.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I never time.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I never told my mom she should do anything. I
just reported for duty. Whatever she told me to do,
I did well. And my mom was divorced oh twice.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
So she divorced my dad when I was like four,
and then she got remarried and got divorced again. So
I mean I kind of like went through you know,
her whole like evolution of dating thing.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, I mean when she I was I think fourteen
when she divorced my stepdad, so like right in the
height of you know, high school on adulthood and trying
to like figure all of that out. And then she's
simultaneously trying to figure out.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
And I look back, and.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
You know, she was like my age even younger when
she was going through that second divorce, and so you
you you look at that situation differently now that now
that I'm going through it, and you know, you you
really just, yeah, your heart almost like you know, breaks her.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Do you guys talk about that? You guys like she
really helped me.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
And honestly, because I saw her go through it, and
because I saw her just crush life and build, you know,
and build her life, you know, after these two divorces,
I think that helped me know that I could do it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Also, two siblings.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
I have a brother, yeah, as the older I eighteen
months younger. Okay, so he's like a twin, like me.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I have a twin brother, an actual twin brother, though,
Oh you do.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But isn't it interesting when you have that a close
like opposite sex, how it's kind of like how you
see relationships differently.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
You respect the opposite sex.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Differently when you have that. Yeah, that's so nice that
you're so sweet about your mom.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I mean, I had a great mom, but I didn't
have that kind of connection with her. Again, it was
like reporting for duty.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I just well, she to also say, because she was
you know, and back then, I mean in the eighties,
the divorce was so different. The child custody was so different.
It was like I got to see my dad every
other weekend. It's not like that anymore. Well, I mean
for most people, it's not really like that anymore. And
so she was really like the main one, you know that.
(17:13):
And so our relationship was great, but she all my
friends with my mom's my best friend. It wasn't like
that with my mom and I because she had to
almost like keep it a little bit separate.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
She was the mom.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
She was, you know, the disciplinarian like, so she it
wasn't like we were.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Best friends, right, And I think that that's actually better
when there is kind of a buffer between a parent
and a child. I know it's difficult now with there's
so much divorce, but I just feel that sometimes when
my friends are like we're best friends, I'm like, okay,
so you guys chop together or you have lunch together,
(17:51):
but that doesn't mean that you're asking her her advice
or his advice, because just like the maturation process is
different and what they're going through and you went through,
and how they're just their their experiences, they're just totally different.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
So I I mean, I will my kids always.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Like kind of wanted to know, and I gave them
enough information so they felt included, but not enough that
where they were like they felt responsible.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah no, And I think that's responsible on your end.
And I think that you know.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Well, because.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I think people are over sharing with their little kids especially,
and I just I'm just not going to do that.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
And I I.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Just say, you know, mommy is so happy, you guys
like literally full of joy.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
I have everything.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
And so when when that does happen, and it will,
I know that I'm not gonna, you know, not have
a significant of other or a lover. You know, that's
so intense like for the rest of my life.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
I know that. And so when.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I when I get there and it's appropriate, like you
will be the first to know.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I will be so excited to tell you. But right now,
well you know, mommy, mommy, get has nothing to tell you.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Mamma's got a great bond, she's cool, she's got great friends,
she's all set. Speaking of being all set and having
a great body and of like you know what you
what I mean? Obviously every guy wants to date you, clearly,
but what about you? What are you attracted to?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I think this is the fun part, and I think
that so many women in our situation focus on like
the heart right in the in the negative and like
how you know, it's a jungle out there, And for me,
I have embraced it where this is like Pamela and
two point zero version of what I like. So what
(19:40):
I liked my whole earlier, you know, life is has
clearly not worked out for me, right.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
So so let's paint that picture.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
So what like what?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Just like quickly like, what what were you interested in
or attracted to? And what are you now so you
can get a picture.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Well I'm still figuring it out, but what I've been
what my past, Yeah, my past. I think it was
always you know, like very athletic, bigger, tall, maybe like
more alpha males, like a.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Lot of ego and like tall, a lot of I think.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
You know, ego perfect, a lot of ego there, probably
like not vulnerable enough. And then I I don't think
I required enough from them because I probably saw that they.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Couldn't give that.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Then I just thought that that was the norm.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
And what do you I mean, I'm not your therapist,
and I don't play one on TV. But what do
you Why do you think that you were attracted to
someone who wasn't giving you enough?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
I know, right, like let's unpack it, I mean, still
unhacking it.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, I think I was really just like attracted to
like the shiny.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Toy hot guy.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah, we're also on LEO now that we know, now
that we know you're a star sign, we know that
you're a LEO, so you're probably like I can handle it.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You do.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Know anything about star signs? Don't ever anyone ever asked
me about a star signs?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I have no idea.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
That's the thing. I mean.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I was, I was in my mind happy though with
these men because I just take it upon myself to
find my own happiness too, Like, I don't just look
at getting that from somebody. So I always had a
million friends, I was always doing my thing, I was
always growing my career, I was always working, and so
(21:51):
I really wasn't like just looking, you know, for somebody
to make me happy. But when I look back, they
were really giving, not much like at all.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Right, and so now you want someone that's more empathetic more,
I need vulnerable. How do you find a vulnerable guy?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I've found that, I've actually found two men. I've actually
found something maybe a little bit too oh god, oh
my god, but I've found because I'm not even accepting
anything less than that, and so I've definitely found them.
I think that it's a little bit of digging, right.
(22:33):
It's like, you know, you can tell by messages and
like questions, you can tell.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
See I'm like a one word answer kind of person,
like I'm chatty with you, but when I'm writing, I'm like, great,
fun looks good, Like I'm kind of like an AI.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Well, I think if like you know, they're willing to
share things. And and that is the cool part about
being this age is we have a lot of depth.
We've all been through a lot, Yeah, and so I
think there is a lot to unpack and talk about.
And if you're going to act like like everything's you know,
(23:11):
roses all the time and not really like dig in,
I'm not really interested.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I feel like it's like people are like, it's kind
of like the new version of trauma von where like
in your for in your like late forties, late thirties,
forties and fifties, or because you're saying, like to your point,
we have so much more experience and so now when
someone says something like I can empathize, Like if this
were ten years ago.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I would be like, I'm sorry, what are you talking about?
Like why are you telling me this?
Speaker 4 (23:41):
No, we have no idea until you go through it.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Until you go through it, And so it's just I mean,
it makes it I'm actually more interested to hear like
how they're navigating things, or how they dealt with their
ex wives or all those you know. Obviously in positive ways.
I don't want to hear that adity, but yeah, I'm
like not into that, but you know, I really it
makes me feel more connected to them versus just like
(24:06):
being like do you want to give dinner.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Do you like red wine?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Do you impassa No? Like yeah, this temple No, if
you think and stuff like that, No.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
And it's so Yeah, I think it could be so
much more deep and so much more beautiful actually, because
if you think about, like you know, when you're younger
and you're just trying to write, like find your husband,
and you're in the first stage of all of that,
and you're out and you know, you're with your friends
and that's all that you really you have so much
(24:37):
time to do that. You have so much time to
find that person that'use that's all everybody's doing. They're just
out and about. There's not a ton of responsibilities. That's
like your your goal. On most people, that's their progression.
They're going to find their husband, they're going to have kids,
they're going to buy the house. I mean, that's the
stage that they're at. We're not at that stage. Yeah, so,
(24:57):
and we don't even have as much time as we
did then, so it's like you almost kind of.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Gotta get to it.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah right, I'm pat quickly because I gotta go bring
a carry on back because I don't have time for
your whole.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Luggage I think this is the best question.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I don't have time for your leuvatant trunk.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
I think this is the best quote.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Like, you know, you you start to like you have to,
you know, ask those questions. Don't jump into things too quickly.
So it's like you hire slowly and you fire fast.
So you're you start to ask those questions right like
you get you're kind of like in research mode. You're exploring,
you're asking all these questions, but you're asking the heart
(25:35):
and the right questions.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
You're getting all your information. When women immediately.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
After, like one day, they're like, oh, I'm in love,
he's the man, he's.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
No girlfriend, You're it's not it's not it.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
And so it drives me crazy when when people get
so hooked so quickly, because you really have to dig.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
And then if it's not it, if it's not.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
A hell yes, get rid of done, move on, don't
hold on to it for these like hope that it's
going to be something that's I think the biggest mistake.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
And then at this age, I don't have six.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Months to hold on to something that is making you
kind of know, you know.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Jenna gave you some really good advice.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
We're not going to go over it because I want you,
I want the listeners to listen to Jenna's podcast with you.
She gives you some really really good tips, So you
guys have to check that out. But what I do
want to know is that have you ever had a
fun wing woman who may be a slightly bit older
than you, hang out at bottle Rock listening to fun music.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Have you ever had done that before?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
I have never, because you know, right now, right like,
all my friends are married with three kids, nobody's going out,
nobody is having that situation.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
So I would be honored if you could do that
with me. Today. We think we're going to crush it.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
We are going to have so much fun. So this
became like kind of like my thing. A couple of
months ago, we were at iHeartRadio for jingle Ball and
I took some some of my new friends out and
I just can't talk to anyone.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I mean, I don't know if it's a blessing or
a curse, but I'm just like, hi, I'm Kelly, and
people are.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Like, okay, good because I can't. I'm not I'm shy.
I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
And I literally will start asking them questions I'm just
like no, no, no, no, no no. So I'll be like
this is.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
And I can do it for you, but I get
really shy about me.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
So this is going to be.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
But see, I can't do it for myself.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
I'm just like I will talk to people, but they're like,
are you talking to me for yourself?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
My no, no, no, my friend. I have this friend.
She happens to be adopted, gorgeous, and she's staying next
to me.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yes, okay, so this is like important. So hypothetically you
and I are like out there in the wild and
the music wild, and we are attracted to the same guy.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
What are we going to do? Do we like the
same kind of guy? Do we know this? Are we
going for?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Like?
Speaker 4 (28:14):
What about what's your age range?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
My age range?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
Is we overlap? For sure? But I think so a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I mean I just I don't mind a little bit younger,
but not too much older, Like I can't do seventy
and I because I'm just wildly immature.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So that would just not work at all. Can you
see me with the seven year old?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I would be like running circle.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's not about being fit, like I don't It's like
the people the guys are like, oh, you were models.
You must like people that are really fit. I'm like,
that's not true.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I just like that's me. You like fit.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, you're like the fit jock. I'm not. I'm like,
I just like the person that I.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Don't actually like the very very build. No, I don't
like the like big kind of build. I just I
like more like the fit in mind, body and soul.
Like let's be honest, you know, because you can have
this beautiful body and if you're messed up in the head.
I mean I don't want that either, So I think
like it's just the well rounded for sure.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I think I'm just because of my like my like
wherever I go for my favorite memories are like like Geneva, Wisconsin,
hanging out with all my friends, like jumping in the
water water scan. I like people that are men that
are just like having a really good time. So I'm
like the frat boy with a job and maybe not
so much of the beer gun, but like I'm okay
(29:33):
if it's like.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
You know, and you know all all this, be like
she like a frat boy. No she doesn't, Yes, I do.
I actually really like.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Let's go to fun. Well, college. Should we go to
check it out?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh my god, don't know. I go to his parents
beeguns and I'm like, these are not what I mean.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
My frat boys like with all this to be said
that we can sit here all day long and talk
about like, Okay, what do we like this and that?
Speaker 4 (29:57):
But for me, it's just this energy.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
So when I meet some people in person, I may
not have liked them on let's say, rayah, but it's
this energy that's like whoa. And I did have this
experience where you know, I matched with somebody and he
was he was super smart and I no, not the
(30:23):
little one did?
Speaker 4 (30:26):
Can we talk about him though?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Or no?
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
And I'm like, is he going to be boring? He's
super techy, like you know, but I did like the
sophistication and the classiness and this very you know, smart
part that like the smart is really doing it for
me right now.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
And so.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I'm like, okay, Pam, let's do a FaceTime and see is.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
There some swagger? Like so swagger?
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Well, my mom would be mad if I said, because
she's like, Pamelin, I did not give you this name?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, Pamelin, Yeah, Pamalain she's like Famaline secret name Pam.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
So we did a FaceTime and I was like, well,
go ahead with your bad self, with your techie, you know.
I was so impressed, and so it just it was
a really good, you know experience for me to not
just judge by maybe like what you do for a
living is going to correlate to are you exciting or
(31:29):
fun or you know, are you swaggy just because you're
in this field.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
And so.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
In a perfect world, we meet the guy out we
have the energy and it's just this like magnetic thing.
But in this world, it's really hard to go out
all the time and find that. So that's you know
why we're here doing this right.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
One of one of our new friends that I that
I was talking to last night, she was saying that
she lives, she's in San Francisco, and then she goes
out and because she was on reality, she'll go out
and she'll meet these She'll you know, go out and
do whatever. But like guys are never like hey, or
like I saw you on this show that show and
then but she said she'll get home and they'll DM yeah,
(32:10):
and like that's I don't want to be out in
the wild.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I want to meet the real people.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
I want to see the vibe, you know, I that's
what I'm that's I like that too.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, And I think, I mean, you know, because I'm
not I wasn't on a show or anything like that,
so I don't have that kind of I guess where
people would know, oh, who who I am?
Speaker 4 (32:32):
You know, I'm just oh, we know who you are? Normal?
But I don't.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
But I think, even like for me when I am
out for the rare times that I am, or even
like at the gym or wherever it is, I don't
think that I give off the vibe of available enough.
And that's what I think I have to work on personally.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You know what. That's so funny that you said that,
because I think I have to do that too.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
I think that I don't smile like I get embarrassed. Partly,
I truly am shy.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Around, but I smile a lot. I'm just a smiley person.
I don't know, I was blessed with good teeth. Like
I'm a smiling person. And I'm also very outgoing, but
I'm also super shy. Like like I said, like, I'm
very outgoing this way. But then if you come into
my territory.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I'm like, that's why.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
We need each other. It's gonna be perfect good.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Okay, we have to have like some kind of code.
Maybe maybe it'll be Pam, give me our name some
one or like if so if you're like I really
like this guy, and I'll be like, okay, I mean
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I would never lie.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I would be like you have but like what like
a girl like a luandelas Countess lan Coat, like love
you c D. We're going for you like what count
just low see out in that CD kind of like
what it's how about like a workout? What's like a
(33:59):
work well?
Speaker 4 (34:00):
I was just going to say, this is like so random.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Back in the eighties when I was, you know, like
a young kid, so many kids were getting kidnapped. It's
not funny, but and so there was a code word
that you were supposed to have with your mother. Like
if somebody said, hey, you know, come here, your mom
said that, like you know, she we need to take
you home from school today. That's what they were saying
to these kids. And so our code word was cheerios. Okay,
(34:26):
my mom and my brother. Maybe that's the bad one.
Maybe that's if we don't like that.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Okay, yeah, but I.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
Don't know what the good one is.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
I don't know, like some kind of like what's like
something that's really I mean, I like a cheerio, it's fine,
but what something.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Something that's like really good that's like forbidden fruit loop apple?
An Apple?
Speaker 4 (34:52):
It's like no but like from the you know they
were supposed to Adam and Eve.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Oh Apple, Oh here I am, like I'm going like
she's like, no, no key like apple like Adam and Eve.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
You didn't know where I was going.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
She's like, stay with me, stay with me.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Okay, fine, So apple is for forbidden like hot guy
and the cheerios just like yeah, okay, So all right,
so we have our lingo down and then I want
to know, like just a quick thing like okay, so
at a concert, is there a right flag of like people.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Are drinking too much?
Speaker 4 (35:30):
It's too well absolutely too drunk. I can't I can't
do it, Like I just can't do it.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I'll have you know, it's fine, like a glass of wine,
cocktail or two whatever, but I just I don't like
that at all.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, I want a guy drinks too much? Sorry guys,
and they're like.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
I love you and love you.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
It's like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
For women, it's just not attractive. And you know, and
especially at this age.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Plus, I don't want someone unpacking when they're dropping it, no,
because if you can't remember it, that you don't need.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
I want to remember everything about these experiences that I have,
and you know, it's like clouded.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Okay that I've one last question. So on your podcast
with Janna, she said that sometimes she has a hard
time empathiz like not empathizing, but connecting with people that
are like well known or have been on TV like her.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
And I was listening to that, and I thought to myself, Yes,
sometimes it's.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Difficult because you're like, Okay, that person's well known and
so they have this whole world that you're thinking of.
But I wanted to address that because I was like,
you know, there's some people who I've learned so much from,
whether they're on television or whoever they are, and on
this podcast in particular, like I've gone through such a
like maturation process. I mean, I've grown up so much
(36:52):
in the past like five or six months. Love that
from therapy to like meeting new people, like making new friends,
being able to like really just be open and honest
and not like not care what people think. And so
I'm just hoping that like we can all bring something
to someone and you never know what someone's going to
(37:15):
say that's going to be like, oh my god, yes, yeah,
you know, like you've said a lot today that, and
you've said a lot on your both of your podcasts
that have been like super powerful and very positive, which
I think is so nice too.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
You know, I think that the energy you put out
is going to be the energy that you get back.
And so if I'm sitting here saying, oh my gosh,
it's so hard out there, jeez, there's nobody they all,
I mean, that's what I'm going to keep getting. Yeah,
and it's actually not even like the reality. I mean,
I'm meeting amazing men doing really cool things that I think,
(37:50):
you know, are evolving pretty well too.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
It just maybe there hasn't been you know, the guy, the.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Guy, the guy.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Okay, so we're going a bottle rock. So we're going
to play some kind of fun. We have to have
a challenge or game or something. Well okay competitive so
oh wow, Okay, I mean I can be competitive, but
really with myself, not with other people, so I'll be
like cheering you on. I'm so competitive with myself. I
(38:21):
have to turn myself off. I'm like, oh god, there
she goes again. I have my own inner Pam like
and my own like oh, she's just.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Too loud of it there. So okay, so let's come
up with a goal.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
So here's some options we can actually Luan, who's on
the house, she was like, She's like, Darling, I want
you to ask a stranger for a drink, and but
you have to write this little note down on a
piece of paper and like slide it over.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I was like, so I did it. I did it.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
I did it with my two besday friends.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I was at a bar in New York City and
I wrote it and I slid it and this guy
came over and then I was like, oh.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
My god in my heart is like but then.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
He happens to be on Love Hotel with Luan, and
I was just like, how is this my life job?
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
He's like, yeah, I'm going to be a new show
like television.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Like hey.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I was like, oh, that's nice for you, and he's
like yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
I was like, what's it called?
Speaker 2 (39:25):
He goes Love Hotels? Because everyone falls a.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Red flag for you, like if they're doing something like that.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
For me, it's difficult because like literally every single person
in my whole pool of like my dating pool has
dated someone who I've been on television with. So it's
been like very challenging, and it's just like constantly like, oh,
I guess who's dating so and so I'm like, oh wow,
that's great. Okay, So here's our challenge. Okay, I'm going
to give you some options and then you can tell
(39:55):
me yes or no. Okay, Okay, So we can get
a phone up from a guy, or you can give
someone a phone number.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
So when we say get so, it's not you getting
the phone number for me. It's like I have to
get it myself. Oh yeah, oh gosh, oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I'm not going to be like, here's your numbers.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
I just I don't know. I just don't. Okay, no,
the phone number.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
You can be like I don't know, Like I mean,
I always say, like I don't get.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
On myer initiated a conversation. I can't even give a
guy eye contact, let alone give him my number.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
So this is going to be a lot.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Okay, just smile, okay for good you're gonna smile. That's
going to be like people are there, Guys are gonna
be like her.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
She's so pretty.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Okay, so we're gonna get a number or and I
think she's like insects. I don't really feel if I'm
comfortable with giving someone my phone number, but fine with
the Instagram. Instagram Yeah, follow me install I may or
may not read it.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
I'm joking. No, no, I'm definitely gonna read it. Get a
guy to buy you a drink, So we have to
have someone be like.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
That's easy, I mean because we don't even have to.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Ask no, no, but you do know.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
But I'm not them coming and saying can I buy
your drink? You have to say I want you to
buy me a drink? Means you have to you have
to like initially we're like, it's like you and I.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
Like initi Okay, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Okay, very I'm going to be in a mini skirts,
so I'm going to be definitely like out there. So,
oh my gosh, here we go. So okay, we have
to ask someone get the drink, phone number. How about
ask a guy to dance?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
I could do that, you could, yes, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
I could do that maybe for like, I just like
for some reason when I so dancing is just so
I love it so much.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Are you a good dancer? Yes?
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Oh my god, I'm awful.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Laugh.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
I mean I could see myself like grabbing a guy's
hand and like trolling or doing something.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Yeah, I could do that.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Oh god, Okay, this is gonna be great. All right,
and then I'm going to make an introduction to someone
who I think is like attractive, so I kind of
know your vibe.
Speaker 4 (42:01):
And no he is not. I didn't like them when
I was in a sorority. Let alone.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Now see this is good. So we're like, we're like
all good.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
And then we're going to go to Bottle Rock and
we're gonna have the best time, and then we're going
to recap all this.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Pamelin.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I'm going to just call you Pam, but in my InterVoice,
I'm not going to say that out loud because I
don't want your mom to get mad at me if
I ever meet her.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Well, I have an alter ego that's called Pittsburgh Pam,
and we talked about that.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
I love Pittsburgh.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
It's like when you just take me to like the pizza.
I will just bring her out.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
Yeah yeah, wait, where are you from?
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Pittsburgh.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
It's a town called mun Hall Homestead. It's like where
all the steel meals used to be.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
And yeah, Pittsburgh is a vibe.
Speaker 4 (42:51):
It's like so great there. I'm so grateful that I
grew up there and you bug all the time.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (42:57):
Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
All right, you guys, thank you to Pamelin so much
for coming. Jana, thank you so much for introducing me.
We're gonna have the best time ever here in bond
Rock here and Nepa Belli. I'm not a singer, bye
saying it.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I don't know why I can't waity.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
So are you ready to date again? But need some
wing woman advice? Your mentors are here to help. Email
us or call us. All the infos in the show notes,
follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review
the podcast. I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where
falling in love is the main objective.
Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm Kelly ben Simone,
one of your celebrity mentors here on the pod, and
I'm so excited because today.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I am joined with someone who's already been on the show.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
We loved getting to hear your story and how you're
opening up about finding love again. It's Jana Kramer's best
friend Pamelin back on the pod. Oh my god, I'm
so excited to meet you. We're live from iHeart Verbo
podcast House at Bottle Rock, and Wow, this place is incredible.
We're in Villa Montabella, one of Verbo's vacation rentals of
(00:49):
the Year in twenty twenty four, and it's everything you
could dream of. Seriously, the wine cave is insane. And
if you want your own amazing vacation rental, down tho
the Verbo app and out there twenty twenty five vacation
rentals of the Year. Trust us, you won't be disappointed.
So I mentioned that you were on the pod before,
and I was listening to all of your chats with
(01:15):
Jana and you're incredible and so open and so gorgeous.
Your Instagram is insane. I just learned recently you're not
supposed to use words like incredible, insane, all the words
that I use that are my go tos, you're not
supposed to use.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Any I saw the list, and honestly, what other words
are we supposed to use?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I know?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
So how am I supposed to say, like, wow, well
let's just go rogue and just do whatever we want?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Thank you, Pamela.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Love that.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So first of all, let's for those who are listening,
just a quick recap of you know, where you.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Are in your life.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So you and jan are best friends, You guys are neighbors. Yes,
you build houses next to each other. Yes, and Jana
may or not be babysit your daughter right now.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yes, Okay, So it takes a village, for sure, it
takes I just like counted, there were seven women involved
in helping me take care of my kids for forty
eight hours just to be able to leave.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
You know how beautiful is that?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That is amazing?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I mean it's a lot, but it's still like, you know,
a village, and I don't know what I would do
without that.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So I raised my kids in New York City, I
did not have that same village. There were forty eight
strangers but they were not women that I knew.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But anyway, my kids are fine. They're fine.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You know, strangers are great. So that's amazing, and that's
just so nice. You can come here and feel good
because you, you know, are taking care of your children
and working out and cooking and telling us everything on
your Instagram, which I love. I was feeling very insecure today.
I was like, Okay, do I do some push ups beforehand?
Or should I just go to the gym?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Or do I not eat?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I always eat?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Please, That's what I'm trying to like tell every woman,
you know, low calories is not the option.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Right, and I think too, which you're such a great
new role model to the Pod because you're single, you're
looking for love, but you're not like on the hunt.
You are organically open to finding love. And like last
night we were in the Cave.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
How cool is that one?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Oh my gosh, amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I know. I walked in there. I was like, this
is so cinematic, wasn't it?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
It was? Even the pictures made it look like that.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I just was like, oh my god, this place is amazing.
The food was incredible. We had so much fun. The
table was like so fun like every went from bacheloration,
the housewise well.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
In so many Yeah, different age groups and just different
walks of life, just all coming together.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
And couples that have been together for fifteen years. You know,
you and I are single.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
It's just like a fun mix of all these different people.
And we had a really interesting conversation and I loved
what you said about meeting people, and you said that
when you meet people, you are open to a relationship,
but you know, and you have relationships for long periods
of time.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's not like you're like in and out like some people.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Just the nature of the beasts, because we're like all
these apps and so much opportunity that we're meeting people,
and it's like going on one or two dates, but
you're really like you want to be with someone, you
want to get to know them, and you want.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You know, you're really looking for that person.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
But you're not like, Okay, I'm just going to go
one or two dates and then fall in love and yeah, can.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You talk more about that?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I mean I think you have to be you know,
intentional number one and not just have like hopes for
somebody's potential and really like hone in on you know truly, like,
what is this person you know, going to.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Like do for me?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
And in return, like what can I you know, do
for them to better their lives?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Because at this.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Point in our lives we have a lot of things.
We have careers, we have our children, we have homes,
we have this life that we've already built, and so
if we're going to let somebody in and you know,
invest in that energy, it has to be like the
jackpot for me anyway.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
The jackpot. Do you guys?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Hear that hashtag the jackpot? Pamelin is telling us that's
what we want. Maybe that should be the new app
called the Jackpot. I love that It's She's like the jackpot,
mic drop. So when we're looking for that jackpot is
the single dad? Would you ever consider dating anyone who
is single dad?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I think ideally that would probably make the most sense
because they truly understand that we're not going to be
each other's main priority like ever, you know, I mean,
it's it's your kids and then I think yourself should
come next, or maybe even yourself first, then your kids, right,
(06:03):
because if we're not you know, mentally stable, and we're
not at at peace, nobody is.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Going to thrive, you know, and then it's like we're
talking then we're talking third place.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
And so if somebody, if somebody can't understand.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That third base, third place is.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Somebody can't understand that, then it's it's it's going to
be a little bit of a situation.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Have you ever had a conversation with someone and been like,
by the way, like you're going to be third place?
Speaker 4 (06:35):
And what do they say? Well, if they're a single dad,
they they get it.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
They're in They're like freaking sign me up, because this
is exactly what they're thinking.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
And and hoping.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I think most you know, are hoping that there are
women out there that also, you know, think like that.
And I think both men and women we get like scared,
you know what if we don't give that person enough,
like are they gonna, you know, not want to us,
Like do we have to be this, you know, drop
(07:08):
everything type of situation? And I don't think it has
to be like that. And for me, it won't be
like that or else I'm just not going to do it.
I'm just going to like stay in my happy, beautiful
little life with my community and my village and my
kids and my company and.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Travel and be so you know, so so happy.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Yeah, I do believe that somebody can make me even happier.
And I'm super excited for that opportunity. And you know,
I mean I visualize it. I'm like, you know, you
get excited about it. But I'm also not going to
romanticize something that's just not there or if that's not possible,
or that maybe somebody is not capable of.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Okay, so what if they haven't been married before, but
they do have kids.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Oh I don't care about that. Yeah, I don't care
about that. And again I say, ideally would be a
single dad. But I'm not closed off to somebody that's
like super emotionally just in charge and understands that, you know,
(08:18):
I have kids and that's you know, my main priority.
I mean, I think that there are also like people
out there that are so evolved in thinking like that
and realize if they're getting into a relationship, you know,
with a woman like that, that that's just like not
going to be the case. And I mean the older
we get, the older men get, the older women get.
(08:40):
We want to do our own thing, Like we want
the freedom to travel and to you know, make our
own decisions and not at the check in like hey,
I'm running to the store.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
I mean, you know.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
And so to have freedom like that, I think is
the magic formula. I think a lot of times like
the demise of relationships are the mundane and like these
just you know, daily things that kind of can get
very boring if you're not spicing it up and making
a conscious effort to really invest in your relationship. And
(09:17):
you do that together because you have children together and
you're married, and this is what you kind of signed
up for, and that's just like you know, the societal norms.
But when you get out of a marriage and you're
not in that like thing that everybody you know, this
normal right and quotes relationship that everybody says that you're
supposed to do X, Y and Z, you have this
(09:40):
abundance of freedom to like make your own rules and
do whatever you want in that next relationship. And so
that's where I'm at. R Okay, like I'm going unconventional.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
See I've just been single for you know, over fifteen years,
and then I went and had that little blip. But
it's funny when you're talking about this, I sing it
up like I just want like my like love language
is like the normal sea and the consistency and like
having breakfast together and like making plans and like you.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Know what, you're going to the market.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
You want, you know, a coffee? Sure like that.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
I'm like creating. I love that.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
That's Ford, Illinois.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Your kids are older, right, so you have that space,
you have that capacity if.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I wanted that when they were younger.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
See, I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I tried to create it.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I was like, I raised my kids with a suburban
urban lifestyle whatever that means. Like so like Megan Markle,
and I'm like, you know, I tried to like create
this environment for them that was like every day, but
then we were also living in this wild, big city
and so I always like, that's I think one reason
(10:51):
why they are very like And I don't want to
say real because that's just sounds so that's.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
One of those weird words.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But well rounded, thank you.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
So yeah, But I guess I.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Just always wanted that. I just always wanted that. I
don't want the spice, I want the call.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I want the spice I need. Oh, I just want
for it. My name is Kelly, I'm a leo.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, the jungle, And I think eventually, you know, I'll
be forty seven and my kids are nine and eleven,
and so.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
They it's a daily thing.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
There's sports like crazy, there's they they need me a
lot right now. And so you know, when we talk
about the capacity, like what what is how much do
I have, you know, to give to somebody? And so
I and I'm selfish about the time I have with
my kids because now I only have them seventy percent
of the time.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
So when I'm with them.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
It's it's, you know, very intimate, and it's like I
drop everything so that I can really focus on that time.
And I'm not not saying that it can't overlap, you
know a little bit, but I think that I would
more so be thinking like you when they get you know,
a little bit older, and I have some and I'm
(12:11):
also scaling my company and trying to build this you know,
empire too, which is super important because I have to
take care of myself and my kids right monetarily, So
I need to.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Know.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
But I get that I love the simple thing. And
when I say spice it up, I don't like to
go out all the time. I don't do anything like that.
I don't even really drink it's not that that kind
of spice, but it's like let's have let's go and
we'll meet here for a chill weekend, you know, and
then we'll go here, and you know, maybe it's like
(12:48):
every other week when I don't have my kids, I
go to where he lives. Every other week he comes
for three days where I live. I mean, I think
that's like the flexibility and that like unconventional approach that
I think would work best for me right now. And
so I think subconsciously that's why I don't really date
in Nashville.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
I don't want you up in my backyard.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I don't want you up in my backyard.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
What about your children? Are they like Mommy, like, oh.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
They can't wait. They just want me to have And
so anytime I've dated, look.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
On TV and like that should be our daddy, give
their dad and they yeah, but like but they love that.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
They they So anytime I've dated anybody, they do not know.
I've never involved them and any of it. They've never
met anybody. And I just try to stay like compartmentalize
those two things right now. And that's not going to
be forever. And there probably wasn't anybody that was you know,
(14:04):
worth them meeting, but they just can't wait. Yeah, they
want all of these other step you know, brothers and sisters,
and they're like very specific on what they want.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
They want older brothers and sisters. Yeah, they want that
whole crew.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
It's interesting because like my kids would be like when
they were younger, I would say I want a family
for my family and I've always wanted that.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I told you that before, and my kids would be.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Like, okay, what does that mean? We have to share
with people your time. Now they're just like, Mom, we
just want you to like have a friend because like
you're like bothering us and there's only so much aloe
we can buy together, like we need you.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Need to have somebody else to call.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
And so they're sweet and they're obviously older now they're
twenty four and twenty seven, but it's just isn't it,
Like I need would never tell my mom, Like I
can't imagine like telling my mom like, you know, oh
you should do this.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I never time.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I never told my mom she should do anything. I
just reported for duty. Whatever she told me to do,
I did well. And my mom was divorced oh twice.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
So she divorced my dad when I was like four,
and then she got remarried and got divorced again. So
I mean I kind of like went through you know,
her whole like evolution of dating thing.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, I mean when she I was I think fourteen
when she divorced my stepdad, so like right in the
height of you know, high school on adulthood and trying
to like figure all of that out. And then she's
simultaneously trying to figure out.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
And I look back, and.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
You know, she was like my age even younger when
she was going through that second divorce, and so you
you you look at that situation differently now that now
that I'm going through it, and you know, you you
really just, yeah, your heart almost like you know, breaks her.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Do you guys talk about that? You guys like she
really helped me.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
And honestly, because I saw her go through it, and
because I saw her just crush life and build, you know,
and build her life, you know, after these two divorces,
I think that helped me know that I could do it.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Also, two siblings.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
I have a brother, yeah, as the older I eighteen
months younger. Okay, so he's like a twin, like me.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I have a twin brother, an actual twin brother, though,
Oh you do.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
But isn't it interesting when you have that a close
like opposite sex, how it's kind of like how you
see relationships differently.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
You respect the opposite sex.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Differently when you have that. Yeah, that's so nice that
you're so sweet about your mom.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I mean, I had a great mom, but I didn't
have that kind of connection with her. Again, it was
like reporting for duty.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I just well, she to also say, because she was
you know, and back then, I mean in the eighties,
the divorce was so different. The child custody was so different.
It was like I got to see my dad every
other weekend. It's not like that anymore. Well, I mean
for most people, it's not really like that anymore. And
so she was really like the main one, you know that.
(17:13):
And so our relationship was great, but she all my
friends with my mom's my best friend. It wasn't like
that with my mom and I because she had to
almost like keep it a little bit separate.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
She was the mom.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
She was, you know, the disciplinarian like, so she it
wasn't like we were.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Best friends, right, And I think that that's actually better
when there is kind of a buffer between a parent
and a child. I know it's difficult now with there's
so much divorce, but I just feel that sometimes when
my friends are like we're best friends, I'm like, okay,
so you guys chop together or you have lunch together,
(17:51):
but that doesn't mean that you're asking her her advice
or his advice, because just like the maturation process is
different and what they're going through and you went through,
and how they're just their their experiences, they're just totally different.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
So I I mean, I will my kids always.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Like kind of wanted to know, and I gave them
enough information so they felt included, but not enough that
where they were like they felt responsible.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah no, And I think that's responsible on your end.
And I think that you know.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Well, because.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I think people are over sharing with their little kids especially,
and I just I'm just not going to do that.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
And I I.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Just say, you know, mommy is so happy, you guys
like literally full of joy.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
I have everything.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
And so when when that does happen, and it will,
I know that I'm not gonna, you know, not have
a significant of other or a lover. You know, that's
so intense like for the rest of my life.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
I know that. And so when.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I when I get there and it's appropriate, like you
will be the first to know.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I will be so excited to tell you. But right now,
well you know, mommy, mommy, get has nothing to tell you.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Mamma's got a great bond, she's cool, she's got great friends,
she's all set. Speaking of being all set and having
a great body and of like you know what you
what I mean? Obviously every guy wants to date you, clearly,
but what about you? What are you attracted to?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I think this is the fun part, and I think
that so many women in our situation focus on like
the heart right in the in the negative and like
how you know, it's a jungle out there, And for me,
I have embraced it where this is like Pamela and
two point zero version of what I like. So what
(19:40):
I liked my whole earlier, you know, life is has
clearly not worked out for me, right.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
So so let's paint that picture.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
So what like what?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Just like quickly like, what what were you interested in
or attracted to? And what are you now so you
can get a picture.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Well I'm still figuring it out, but what I've been
what my past, Yeah, my past. I think it was
always you know, like very athletic, bigger, tall, maybe like
more alpha males, like a.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Lot of ego and like tall, a lot of I think.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
You know, ego perfect, a lot of ego there, probably
like not vulnerable enough. And then I I don't think
I required enough from them because I probably saw that they.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Couldn't give that.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Then I just thought that that was the norm.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
And what do you I mean, I'm not your therapist,
and I don't play one on TV. But what do
you Why do you think that you were attracted to
someone who wasn't giving you enough?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
I know, right, like let's unpack it, I mean, still
unhacking it.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, I think I was really just like attracted to
like the shiny.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Toy hot guy.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah, we're also on LEO now that we know, now
that we know you're a star sign, we know that
you're a LEO, so you're probably like I can handle it.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You do.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Know anything about star signs? Don't ever anyone ever asked
me about a star signs?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I have no idea.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
That's the thing. I mean.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I was, I was in my mind happy though with
these men because I just take it upon myself to
find my own happiness too, Like, I don't just look
at getting that from somebody. So I always had a
million friends, I was always doing my thing, I was
always growing my career, I was always working, and so
(21:51):
I really wasn't like just looking, you know, for somebody
to make me happy. But when I look back, they
were really giving, not much like at all.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Right, and so now you want someone that's more empathetic more,
I need vulnerable. How do you find a vulnerable guy?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I've found that, I've actually found two men. I've actually
found something maybe a little bit too oh god, oh
my god, but I've found because I'm not even accepting
anything less than that, and so I've definitely found them.
I think that it's a little bit of digging, right.
(22:33):
It's like, you know, you can tell by messages and
like questions, you can tell.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
See I'm like a one word answer kind of person,
like I'm chatty with you, but when I'm writing, I'm like, great,
fun looks good, Like I'm kind of like an AI.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Well, I think if like you know, they're willing to
share things. And and that is the cool part about
being this age is we have a lot of depth.
We've all been through a lot, Yeah, and so I
think there is a lot to unpack and talk about.
And if you're going to act like like everything's you know,
(23:11):
roses all the time and not really like dig in,
I'm not really interested.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I feel like it's like people are like, it's kind
of like the new version of trauma von where like
in your for in your like late forties, late thirties,
forties and fifties, or because you're saying, like to your point,
we have so much more experience and so now when
someone says something like I can empathize, Like if this
were ten years ago.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I would be like, I'm sorry, what are you talking about?
Like why are you telling me this?
Speaker 4 (23:41):
No, we have no idea until you go through it.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Until you go through it, And so it's just I mean,
it makes it I'm actually more interested to hear like
how they're navigating things, or how they dealt with their
ex wives or all those you know. Obviously in positive ways.
I don't want to hear that adity, but yeah, I'm
like not into that, but you know, I really it
makes me feel more connected to them versus just like
(24:06):
being like do you want to give dinner.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Do you like red wine?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Do you impassa No? Like yeah, this temple No, if
you think and stuff like that, No.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
And it's so Yeah, I think it could be so
much more deep and so much more beautiful actually, because
if you think about, like you know, when you're younger
and you're just trying to write, like find your husband,
and you're in the first stage of all of that,
and you're out and you know, you're with your friends
and that's all that you really you have so much
(24:37):
time to do that. You have so much time to
find that person that'use that's all everybody's doing. They're just
out and about. There's not a ton of responsibilities. That's
like your your goal. On most people, that's their progression.
They're going to find their husband, they're going to have kids,
they're going to buy the house. I mean, that's the
stage that they're at. We're not at that stage. Yeah, so,
(24:57):
and we don't even have as much time as we
did then, so it's like you almost kind of.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Gotta get to it.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah right, I'm pat quickly because I gotta go bring
a carry on back because I don't have time for
your whole.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Luggage I think this is the best question.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I don't have time for your leuvatant trunk.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
I think this is the best quote.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Like, you know, you you start to like you have to,
you know, ask those questions. Don't jump into things too quickly.
So it's like you hire slowly and you fire fast.
So you're you start to ask those questions right like
you get you're kind of like in research mode. You're exploring,
you're asking all these questions, but you're asking the heart
(25:35):
and the right questions.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
You're getting all your information. When women immediately.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
After, like one day, they're like, oh, I'm in love,
he's the man, he's.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
No girlfriend, You're it's not it's not it.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
And so it drives me crazy when when people get
so hooked so quickly, because you really have to dig.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
And then if it's not it, if it's not.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
A hell yes, get rid of done, move on, don't
hold on to it for these like hope that it's
going to be something that's I think the biggest mistake.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
And then at this age, I don't have six.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Months to hold on to something that is making you
kind of know, you know.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Jenna gave you some really good advice.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
We're not going to go over it because I want you,
I want the listeners to listen to Jenna's podcast with you.
She gives you some really really good tips, So you
guys have to check that out. But what I do
want to know is that have you ever had a
fun wing woman who may be a slightly bit older
than you, hang out at bottle Rock listening to fun music.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Have you ever had done that before?
Speaker 3 (26:39):
I have never, because you know, right now, right like,
all my friends are married with three kids, nobody's going out,
nobody is having that situation.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
So I would be honored if you could do that
with me. Today. We think we're going to crush it.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
We are going to have so much fun. So this
became like kind of like my thing. A couple of
months ago, we were at iHeartRadio for jingle Ball and
I took some some of my new friends out and
I just can't talk to anyone.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I mean, I don't know if it's a blessing or
a curse, but I'm just like, hi, I'm Kelly, and
people are.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Like, okay, good because I can't. I'm not I'm shy.
I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
And I literally will start asking them questions I'm just
like no, no, no, no, no no. So I'll be like
this is.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
And I can do it for you, but I get
really shy about me.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
So this is going to be.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
But see, I can't do it for myself.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
I'm just like I will talk to people, but they're like,
are you talking to me for yourself?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
My no, no, no, my friend. I have this friend.
She happens to be adopted, gorgeous, and she's staying next
to me.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yes, okay, so this is like important. So hypothetically you
and I are like out there in the wild and
the music wild, and we are attracted to the same guy.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
What are we going to do? Do we like the
same kind of guy? Do we know this? Are we
going for?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Like?
Speaker 4 (28:14):
What about what's your age range?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
My age range?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
Is we overlap? For sure? But I think so a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I mean I just I don't mind a little bit younger,
but not too much older, Like I can't do seventy
and I because I'm just wildly immature.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So that would just not work at all. Can you
see me with the seven year old?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I would be like running circle.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
It's not about being fit, like I don't It's like
the people the guys are like, oh, you were models.
You must like people that are really fit. I'm like,
that's not true.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I just like that's me. You like fit.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, you're like the fit jock. I'm not. I'm like,
I just like the person that I.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Don't actually like the very very build. No, I don't
like the like big kind of build. I just I
like more like the fit in mind, body and soul.
Like let's be honest, you know, because you can have
this beautiful body and if you're messed up in the head.
I mean I don't want that either, So I think
like it's just the well rounded for sure.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I think I'm just because of my like my like
wherever I go for my favorite memories are like like Geneva, Wisconsin,
hanging out with all my friends, like jumping in the
water water scan. I like people that are men that
are just like having a really good time. So I'm
like the frat boy with a job and maybe not
so much of the beer gun, but like I'm okay
(29:33):
if it's like.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
You know, and you know all all this, be like
she like a frat boy. No she doesn't, Yes, I do.
I actually really like.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Let's go to fun. Well, college. Should we go to
check it out?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh my god, don't know. I go to his parents
beeguns and I'm like, these are not what I mean.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
My frat boys like with all this to be said
that we can sit here all day long and talk
about like, Okay, what do we like this and that?
Speaker 4 (29:57):
But for me, it's just this energy.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
So when I meet some people in person, I may
not have liked them on let's say, rayah, but it's
this energy that's like whoa. And I did have this
experience where you know, I matched with somebody and he
was he was super smart and I no, not the
(30:23):
little one did?
Speaker 4 (30:26):
Can we talk about him though?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Or no?
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
And I'm like, is he going to be boring? He's
super techy, like you know, but I did like the
sophistication and the classiness and this very you know, smart
part that like the smart is really doing it for
me right now.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
And so.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I'm like, okay, Pam, let's do a FaceTime and see is.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
There some swagger? Like so swagger?
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Well, my mom would be mad if I said, because
she's like, Pamelin, I did not give you this name?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, Pamelin, Yeah, Pamalain she's like Famaline secret name Pam.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
So we did a FaceTime and I was like, well,
go ahead with your bad self, with your techie, you know.
I was so impressed, and so it just it was
a really good, you know experience for me to not
just judge by maybe like what you do for a
living is going to correlate to are you exciting or
(31:29):
fun or you know, are you swaggy just because you're
in this field.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
And so.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
In a perfect world, we meet the guy out we
have the energy and it's just this like magnetic thing.
But in this world, it's really hard to go out
all the time and find that. So that's you know
why we're here doing this right.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
One of one of our new friends that I that
I was talking to last night, she was saying that
she lives, she's in San Francisco, and then she goes
out and because she was on reality, she'll go out
and she'll meet these She'll you know, go out and
do whatever. But like guys are never like hey, or
like I saw you on this show that show and
then but she said she'll get home and they'll DM yeah,
(32:10):
and like that's I don't want to be out in
the wild.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I want to meet the real people.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
I want to see the vibe, you know, I that's
what I'm that's I like that too.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Yeah, And I think, I mean, you know, because I'm
not I wasn't on a show or anything like that,
so I don't have that kind of I guess where
people would know, oh, who who I am?
Speaker 4 (32:32):
You know, I'm just oh, we know who you are? Normal?
But I don't.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
But I think, even like for me when I am
out for the rare times that I am, or even
like at the gym or wherever it is, I don't
think that I give off the vibe of available enough.
And that's what I think I have to work on personally.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You know what. That's so funny that you said that,
because I think I have to do that too.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
I think that I don't smile like I get embarrassed. Partly,
I truly am shy.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Around, but I smile a lot. I'm just a smiley person.
I don't know, I was blessed with good teeth. Like
I'm a smiling person. And I'm also very outgoing, but
I'm also super shy. Like like I said, like, I'm
very outgoing this way. But then if you come into
my territory.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I'm like, that's why.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
We need each other. It's gonna be perfect good.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Okay, we have to have like some kind of code.
Maybe maybe it'll be Pam, give me our name some
one or like if so if you're like I really
like this guy, and I'll be like, okay, I mean
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
I would never lie.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I would be like you have but like what like
a girl like a luandelas Countess lan Coat, like love
you c D. We're going for you like what count
just low see out in that CD kind of like
what it's how about like a workout? What's like a
(33:59):
work well?
Speaker 4 (34:00):
I was just going to say, this is like so random.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Back in the eighties when I was, you know, like
a young kid, so many kids were getting kidnapped. It's
not funny, but and so there was a code word
that you were supposed to have with your mother. Like
if somebody said, hey, you know, come here, your mom
said that, like you know, she we need to take
you home from school today. That's what they were saying
to these kids. And so our code word was cheerios. Okay,
(34:26):
my mom and my brother. Maybe that's the bad one.
Maybe that's if we don't like that.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Okay, yeah, but I.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
Don't know what the good one is.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
I don't know, like some kind of like what's like
something that's really I mean, I like a cheerio, it's fine,
but what something.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Something that's like really good that's like forbidden fruit loop apple?
An Apple?
Speaker 4 (34:52):
It's like no but like from the you know they
were supposed to Adam and Eve.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Oh Apple, Oh here I am, like I'm going like
she's like, no, no key like apple like Adam and Eve.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
You didn't know where I was going.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
She's like, stay with me, stay with me.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Okay, fine, So apple is for forbidden like hot guy
and the cheerios just like yeah, okay, So all right,
so we have our lingo down and then I want
to know, like just a quick thing like okay, so
at a concert, is there a right flag of like people.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Are drinking too much?
Speaker 4 (35:30):
It's too well absolutely too drunk. I can't I can't
do it, Like I just can't do it.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I'll have you know, it's fine, like a glass of wine,
cocktail or two whatever, but I just I don't like
that at all.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, I want a guy drinks too much? Sorry guys,
and they're like.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
I love you and love you.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
It's like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
For women, it's just not attractive. And you know, and
especially at this age.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Plus, I don't want someone unpacking when they're dropping it, no,
because if you can't remember it, that you don't need.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
I want to remember everything about these experiences that I have,
and you know, it's like clouded.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Okay that I've one last question. So on your podcast
with Janna, she said that sometimes she has a hard
time empathiz like not empathizing, but connecting with people that
are like well known or have been on TV like her.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
And I was listening to that, and I thought to myself, Yes,
sometimes it's.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Difficult because you're like, Okay, that person's well known and
so they have this whole world that you're thinking of.
But I wanted to address that because I was like,
you know, there's some people who I've learned so much from,
whether they're on television or whoever they are, and on
this podcast in particular, like I've gone through such a
like maturation process. I mean, I've grown up so much
(36:52):
in the past like five or six months. Love that
from therapy to like meeting new people, like making new friends,
being able to like really just be open and honest
and not like not care what people think. And so
I'm just hoping that like we can all bring something
to someone and you never know what someone's going to
(37:15):
say that's going to be like, oh my god, yes, yeah,
you know, like you've said a lot today that, and
you've said a lot on your both of your podcasts
that have been like super powerful and very positive, which
I think is so nice too.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
You know, I think that the energy you put out
is going to be the energy that you get back.
And so if I'm sitting here saying, oh my gosh,
it's so hard out there, jeez, there's nobody they all,
I mean, that's what I'm going to keep getting. Yeah,
and it's actually not even like the reality. I mean,
I'm meeting amazing men doing really cool things that I think,
(37:50):
you know, are evolving pretty well too.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
It just maybe there hasn't been you know, the guy, the.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Guy, the guy.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Okay, so we're going a bottle rock. So we're going
to play some kind of fun. We have to have
a challenge or game or something. Well okay competitive so
oh wow, Okay, I mean I can be competitive, but
really with myself, not with other people, so I'll be
like cheering you on. I'm so competitive with myself. I
(38:21):
have to turn myself off. I'm like, oh god, there
she goes again. I have my own inner Pam like
and my own like oh, she's just.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Too loud of it there. So okay, so let's come
up with a goal.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
So here's some options we can actually Luan, who's on
the house, she was like, She's like, Darling, I want
you to ask a stranger for a drink, and but
you have to write this little note down on a
piece of paper and like slide it over.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I was like, so I did it. I did it.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
I did it with my two besday friends.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I was at a bar in New York City and
I wrote it and I slid it and this guy
came over and then I was like, oh.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
My god in my heart is like but then.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
He happens to be on Love Hotel with Luan, and
I was just like, how is this my life job?
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
He's like, yeah, I'm going to be a new show
like television.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Like hey.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I was like, oh, that's nice for you, and he's
like yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
I was like, what's it called?
Speaker 2 (39:25):
He goes Love Hotels? Because everyone falls a.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Red flag for you, like if they're doing something like that.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
For me, it's difficult because like literally every single person
in my whole pool of like my dating pool has
dated someone who I've been on television with. So it's
been like very challenging, and it's just like constantly like, oh,
I guess who's dating so and so I'm like, oh wow,
that's great. Okay, So here's our challenge. Okay, I'm going
to give you some options and then you can tell
(39:55):
me yes or no. Okay, Okay, So we can get
a phone up from a guy, or you can give
someone a phone number.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
So when we say get so, it's not you getting
the phone number for me. It's like I have to
get it myself. Oh yeah, oh gosh, oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I'm not going to be like, here's your numbers.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
I just I don't know. I just don't. Okay, no,
the phone number.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
You can be like I don't know, Like I mean,
I always say, like I don't get.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
On myer initiated a conversation. I can't even give a
guy eye contact, let alone give him my number.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
So this is going to be a lot.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
Okay, just smile, okay for good you're gonna smile. That's
going to be like people are there, Guys are gonna
be like her.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
She's so pretty.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Okay, so we're gonna get a number or and I
think she's like insects. I don't really feel if I'm
comfortable with giving someone my phone number, but fine with
the Instagram. Instagram Yeah, follow me install I may or
may not read it.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
I'm joking. No, no, I'm definitely gonna read it. Get a
guy to buy you a drink, So we have to
have someone be like.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
That's easy, I mean because we don't even have to.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Ask no, no, but you do know.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
But I'm not them coming and saying can I buy
your drink? You have to say I want you to
buy me a drink? Means you have to you have
to like initially we're like, it's like you and I.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
Like initi Okay, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Okay, very I'm going to be in a mini skirts,
so I'm going to be definitely like out there. So,
oh my gosh, here we go. So okay, we have
to ask someone get the drink, phone number. How about
ask a guy to dance?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
I could do that, you could, yes, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
I could do that maybe for like, I just like
for some reason when I so dancing is just so
I love it so much.
Speaker 4 (41:41):
Are you a good dancer? Yes?
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Oh my god, I'm awful.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Laugh.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
I mean I could see myself like grabbing a guy's
hand and like trolling or doing something.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Yeah, I could do that.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Oh god, Okay, this is gonna be great. All right,
and then I'm going to make an introduction to someone
who I think is like attractive, so I kind of
know your vibe.
Speaker 4 (42:01):
And no he is not. I didn't like them when
I was in a sorority. Let alone.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Now see this is good. So we're like, we're like
all good.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
And then we're going to go to Bottle Rock and
we're gonna have the best time, and then we're going
to recap all this.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Pamelin.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
I'm going to just call you Pam, but in my InterVoice,
I'm not going to say that out loud because I
don't want your mom to get mad at me if
I ever meet her.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Well, I have an alter ego that's called Pittsburgh Pam,
and we talked about that.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
I love Pittsburgh.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
It's like when you just take me to like the pizza.
I will just bring her out.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
Yeah yeah, wait, where are you from?
Speaker 2 (42:43):
Pittsburgh.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
It's a town called mun Hall Homestead. It's like where
all the steel meals used to be.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
And yeah, Pittsburgh is a vibe.
Speaker 4 (42:51):
It's like so great there. I'm so grateful that I
grew up there and you bug all the time.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (42:57):
Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
All right, you guys, thank you to Pamelin so much
for coming. Jana, thank you so much for introducing me.
We're gonna have the best time ever here in bond
Rock here and Nepa Belli. I'm not a singer, bye
saying it.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I don't know why I can't waity.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
So are you ready to date again? But need some
wing woman advice? Your mentors are here to help. Email
us or call us. All the infos in the show notes,
follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review
the podcast. I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where
falling in love is the main objective.
Host
Jennie Garth
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