Tidsoptimism: The Lie I Keep Telling My Alarm Clock

In this episode of IDKMYDE B Daht shares a Swedish word for people like him who truly believe they can shower, cook breakfast, pay 2 bills and still be 5 minutes early. Turns out, it's not just bad time management -- B Daht has tidsoptimism... and it might be terminal!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back, know it ass to another episode of I didn't
know Maybe you didn't either, the most anticipated podcast on
the Black Effect Podcast Network and these as facts.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
I just left New York City.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
It was up there celebrating the five year anniversary of
the Black Effect Podcast Network. Man, I got a chance
to meet some cool ass people that only got a
chance to meet through emails. My producer on this show, Dwayne,
got a chance to meet him. Super cool dude, and
he told me out of his mouth, he said, dot
each week I look.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Forward to your podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
You know why, because I'm gonna learn something, but you're
gonna learn it in an entertaining way.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
That's what we pride ourselves in around here.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
And I didn't know maybe you didn't need the studios.
We don't really have no studios yet, but.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
We're working on it.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
And Dwayne told me thank you because in the five
year anniversary episode, I gave a mention to two podcasts
that he was a part of that as far as
I'm concerned, is damn near The Foundation podcast and as
we know it now to read and the Combat Jack Show.
And I got a chance to kick it with my partner,
A King, also a producer with the Black Effect, was

(01:09):
also a co founder of the Combat Jack show Man.
Big shout to Charlemagne, big shout to Dolly, Big shouts
to everybody that helps this Black Effect podcast network keep
going forward. Man, we just five years old and y'all
ain't seen nothing yet. But if this is your first
time listening to the podcast, make sure you're following us
on socials. IDK myde with an underscore before it and

(01:33):
after it, and you can find us on YouTube, and
like my thirteen year old daughter says, make sure you
like and subscribe. But we kick off every episode. If
I didn't know, maybe you didn't either. With three of
the most useless facts you'll never need, not a day
in life. Your first useless facts, did you know a
Jiffy is an actual unit of time? Yeah, scientifically, a

(01:55):
Jiffy is one one hundredth of a second. So technically,
when I tell somebody i'll be down a Jiffy, I'm
already lying.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Hell, it's gonna take me a good two minutes just
to put my shoes on.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Your second useless fact, Back in the eighteen hundreds, every
town in America had its own local time. Yeah, if
the sun hit different in your county. Your clocks hit
different too, noon and Harlem might be twelve fourteen in Brooklyn,
one thirty in Charlotte might be one forty.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Five in Greensboro.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
And your third useless fact, there's a little village in
Norway called summar Ray, and they try to abolish time completely.
No clocks, no schedules, just vibes basically Jamaica with a
different accent. Those are me your three useless facts. A
Jiffy is one one hundredth of a second. In the

(02:47):
eighteen hundreds, every town in America had its own local time,
and summar Ray, a village in Norway, try to abolish
time altogether. Now speaking of people who clearly have no
respect for time, and I am people. I told you
I went to the Black Effect podcast five year anniversary
party that was in New York.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
The event was from five to seven.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I had all day and still didn't get there till
five twenty three. And it's not like I was just
being lazy or procrastinating, but I genuinely have a flaw.
I can't get nowhere on time never, and I have
found out that it's a medical condition, y'all. I you
not I suffer from something real, something medical. I mean,

(03:31):
it's something sweetish, but it's still medical. It's called tid soptimism.
Did you know what tid's optimism was? Because I didn't.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I
didn't know. I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
I didn't know. I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Tid's optimism means time optimism, or is I like to
call it lying to yourself with a smile. No, Seriously,
A tits optimist is somebody who genuinely believes that they
can do fifteen things in ten minutes.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
And that's me.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
I'll wake up at eight point forty with a nine
o'clock zoone meeting with black effect and convince myself I
can shower, moisturize my beard, make some breakfast real quick
in the air fryer, reply to my DMS, post something
on my TikTok so on my algorithm. Won't go to sleep,
say a quick prayer and some affirmations. Get in a stretch,
take the trash out and steal log in early like

(04:28):
good morning, Dolly.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
What's up?

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Charlamagne? Lion with confidence. Tit's optimism is not laziness. It's
faith without works. And I know the Bible says faith
without works is dead. But that's what Tit's optimism is.
It's delusional productivity energy. It's me standing in the kitchen
at eight fifty three thinking, if I leave right now

(04:50):
and hit every green light and god part traffic like
the Red Sea, I'm still gonna be late.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
But every single time I believe I can make it.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
You ever get in the car and put your GPS
on and it says it's gonna take you thirteen minutes,
and you say the devil is a law. I know
I can get there in nine. You might be a titutoptimist,
and listen. I don't grow from my mistakes. I recycle them.
I'm gonna be late today and tomorrow, and I'm gonna
once again believe that future me is Usain Boat with

(05:20):
GPS powers. As a matter of fact, this episode is
brought to you by the snooze but be cause that
the only relationship I'll never leave. The snooze button got
me in a choke. Hold y'all, I don't even wake
up to the alarm. I wake up the series saying
this is your ninth reminder. You said nine more minutes
forty five minutes ago. I don't even know why my

(05:40):
snooze is on nine minutes. And I'm gonna tell you
what really pissed me off. What really pissed me off
was when I wake up right before the alarm go
off by like four five minutes. Because who ain't about
to try to lay back down and go back to
sleep and get them full five minutes. I'm damn sure
gonna lay back down and try to get them full
five minutes, which brings in our other sponsor. This episode
is brought to you by public excuses for the makers

(06:04):
of classics like Yo, traffic was crazy and I was
right around the corner and man, my phone died. Public
excuses probably serving late people since the.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Invention of flocks.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
All I'm saying is, if you two are Tato optimists,
I see you, I love you. But let's be honest.
We don't need more time. We just need more realism. Listen,
I'm beat out and i'd explain more, but I'm already late,
and I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Maybe you didn't either,