Anna Drezen Disobeys Bridger

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
But you're a guest to my home.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests,
you're on presences presents enough.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
To surbey me? Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm prettyure, Wineger.
We are here in the shadow of the Burbank Airport

(00:57):
in studio. What's going on? My car has been beeping
at me NonStop. It's out of control. I'm in a
new car and it's putting me in danger. The amount
of alerts is baffling. I need to talk to somebody.
I had a headache yesterday. I don't have a headache today.

(01:19):
And oh, you know, I feel like I started last
episode kind of saying that Delta Airlines would never find
my lost kindle. Apparently they found it. I can't believe
they found it. They are charging me thirty dollars in
shipping to get it back to me, and I know
how much things cost to ship, and I feel like
I've suffered enough already. It should have been a free

(01:40):
It should have been that should be part of the package.
They should bring it to me, but I'm happy to
get it back, and then I'll return the kindle I
bought in its place. My life is chaos, but I'm shocked.
I couldn't believe that they found it. And I think
that's the important news, and then less import We have

(02:00):
the live show coming up August twenty second at seven
thirty pm, Dynasty Typewriter, Los Angeles, California. If you can't
be here, you can also get a live stream. It's
going to be We're going to have such a good time,
or we won't. I have a melt down on stage,
it'll go viral and you'll be there in the moment
and you'll be able to say I was there when

(02:21):
Bridger had the meltdown. So everyone's a winner. Everyone walks
away a winner. Patreon still there, still there for you
to be part of. I'm now sharing my cookie recipe.
I'm giving it all away on this thing. We're talking
about secret lives and Mormon wives. We're having regular bonus episodes.
It's all there for you. Patreon dot com. Slash I

(02:41):
said no gifts. Now it's time for the podcast. I
love today's guest. Everybody adores her. It's Anna Drizz anna,
welcome to I said, no gifts.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Is that's the this is news for me. Can I
sit here in silently just take that all in the
amount of age and I think is being directed towards
me at all times? Is in fact I bake and
I am.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
No, a lot of that is true.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
Oh oh yeah, you're just being nice.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
I'm trying to just butter you up, try to get
you in a good place mentally. But most people, good luck,
despise you, thank you, thank you. All of your suspicions
are true. The paranoia, I'm confirming it now.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
It's amazing. I actually feel nice right now. Like normally,
I think I would have spun myself out and tricked
you into thinking that it would be fun to like
do a bit where I hate myself, but then it
would actually hurt my feelings. But actually I feel great.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Good. Then we've got you in the perfect spot. And
I'm also noticing this water is in between us. This
is your water.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
No what okay, I'm so glad you called it out
because I was not gonna touch it, but I was
gonna want it this whole time.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Just let that be tense.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
Why don't you have water?

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Well, I have this Lacroix right here. But it's a
nice little is a cozy A cozy. And now that
I've said the name of the drink, I think it's
fine for me to say that behind this.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
Don't bleep it.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
I have a That's something I've been complaining about the
Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. They're blurring out every soda
on the show, and I know they're diet cokes. Why
are these Yeah, they're clearly diet cokes.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
They should put the bring back the black box that
goes over all that.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
I love the blurring. I'm blur, the tasteful blur. Give
us the girls gone wild blur. I mean the blood
black box, or the mosaic, the like America's Most Wanted
or crime footage. Yeah, the squares.

Speaker 4 (04:31):
Why aren't they doing squares anymore? Should I think that
we're so slick, we're so marvel blind that we need
a blur.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
We need a nice little smooth blur. The black box,
I think is a very good idea.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
It's just you everybody say, go home to your wives.
You know, like, I have a good day.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
And you're just panicking that it could like fly off
at any moment. Yeah, you know, it's like the editor
could have dropped the ball, and then the black box
gets too far off of whatever's being blurred, and then
you get a peek at whatever you want to take
a peek at.

Speaker 4 (04:59):
It's compelling, it's very cool. Well, I have two mugs now.
I asked for a mug because the travel mug that
I brought my coffee and is the mug I don't
like because of the sound that the ice makes me.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Oh, it's the sound of the ice.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
It's cost the sound of the ice clunking against the
like leeching plastic black lid is like and I don't
want that, but I wanted it. I saw this mug
and I was like, I would like a mug too,
because that's clearly Bridger's water.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
And you were so wrong.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
I was like, what's wrong with them that they didn't
bring the water? But now I have two beverages, which
is at least that's my minimum.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
You should start with two. What should be a water
at all times, yes, just a neutral thing, yeah, and
then whatever you want, oh, this is my fun coffee,
and then maybe a third thing that you're experimenting with.
What look at me, I've just got you know, like
you could have a new flavor of Lacroix that you like,
just grabbed out of the fridge, and you think, oh,
I might not actually like that, so I'll have these
two backups, right, But you only have two and I

(05:55):
only have one. So I'm a hypocrite, you are.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
But it's okay.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Did you make that coffe you home?

Speaker 3 (06:02):
My?

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Oh this is bad. My husband put it in the
tumbler for me and I took it out the door.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
That's very nice. It's very Betty Draper, Betty Draper on
the go, he's Betty Draper. Oh for oh interesting, he's Betty.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, gave me my coffee and I went to.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
My car and you drove away.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
Yeah, an expensive song plays.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh. I mean it's a little spoiler here, but r
I P Betty.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
Draper, r P Betty Draper. I thought this was how
I was finding out the January Jones time, and I
was like, I.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Will feel so celebrity spoiler alert of celebrity. We're getting news.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
January Jones has been apprehended by federal agents and she
did not survive.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Get a shootout with the FBI. Okay, so your husband,
but did he make the coffee at home or did
he buy.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
The we had leftover cold brew from?

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Why? Interesting?

Speaker 4 (07:00):
And that was exciting.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I love a leftover. I drink leftover cold brew this morning.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
Oh really, yes, that's I would ask you your brand.
But now I'm worried about having to bleep it.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Well, we won't have to bleep it. Well, this is
if you want a whole explanation. I usually make mine,
but we've started ordering the grounds from a thing which
I've recently canceled. But we were waiting for the latest batch,
so I hadn't made any. So I went to Starbucks
and bought a giant thing of cold brew, just because
I knew in the morning, yeah, I'm going to need
some sort of coffee and I don't drink hot coffee. Really.

Speaker 4 (07:31):
In the afternoon, when you're looking at Pinterest, you're like,
I'm gonna I only ever use cheesecloth and ground beans.
I will never buy a bottle of coffee again. And
in the morning, when you know you have the Starbucks
cold brew bottle in your bridge, oh my gosh, it's well,
it's exists a thrill, it's a birthday feeling.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
But the ice cubes in that are beautiful I noticed
when you pour okay and full disclosure, you did dump
part of it on the table.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
I that's been clean, pour it all, I said, can
I have a mug and pour on? Elise went out it.
It took one minute and thirty seconds at least to
find the mug, which made me feel guilty. And then
I tried to quickly pour it in here and it's
billed all over the white marble table that I'm realizing
isn't real marble. I felt so guilty.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Actually, oh well, I haven't ever thought about it here.
It's too warm to be marble. It's too warm to
be yeah, oh ice cold Church temperature. I love to
be able to chop meat on this.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
You should. I even if you chop meat on this,
you'd immediately make a new salmonella.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
This is not no, no, no, this it's too porous.

Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yeah, well, I am glad. I was feeling guilty about that.
But then, yeah, so these ice cubes are big, square guys.
Should I pour it out towards camera like a like
a stupid idiot.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
It's almost impossible to show that off to camera, I think, But.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
Yeah, so these are huge ice cubes. Because I live
with a man who's my husband. And husbands all have
big square ice cube train, right, every husband and comes
with one into that's his dowry and.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
That's what you get from the band.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
And then only the white plastic ice cube trays disappear
the longer you've been married. And then we now have
two of these, and I don't know where the second
one came from. Interesting, he's not out yeah, and then
he's like, I actually don't like this one, Like, no
one likes it them. Why are they here? But you
need ice so you're not picky?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Is he is this like a like a whiskey thing?
Is it? Like he's got to tell.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Probably what they're for. We're not whiskey guys. But we
both have siblings and siblings in law who don't quite
know us. Soaked we get a lot of whiskey stones,
a lot of wine opens.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
I think that's the key to getting nice things, is
people not knowing you.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
That well at all. Well, you know, no spoilers, but
that'll be that'll come.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Back sure, sure, yeah, okay, great? Interesting, Well yeah, that's
I think it's a beautiful ice cube and I'm jealous
of it. I mean, it's so gorgeous. They are. I
think that's an inconvenient type of life ice cube.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
Do you want me to slide it towards these events?

Speaker 3 (10:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Because it looks also very clear. You know, it's not
like foggy like this is going to take a picture
if you don't mind off please some Yeah, that's fine.
Just make sure to tag a big square social big
husband ice. Look at that, it's like there's like a
an explosion in it. This is the most beautiful ice
cube I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
You got to come and take them out of our house.
I can't see them anymore.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
I need to just.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
Commit to a new ice cube. But yeah, it is
like a big square cube, which is what a cube is.
But it reminds me of like when you'd order ice
in like the nineteen early nineteen hundreds and they like
cut it out of a lake and it would just
the mountains. Yeah right, we're historians.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
They had it in the wagon and they brought it
down from the creek.

Speaker 4 (10:50):
And everyone stood on both sides of the road entering
town and clapped.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
This is all very relevant to me, and this is
something I talk about too much on this podcast. But
I'm watching The Little House on the prairie for the
first time.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
So that's the show, and it's from the fifties or something.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Seventies, seventies about the eighteen hundreds.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
Tell me all about it.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
You don't know anything about it, Well, I'm aware.

Speaker 4 (11:10):
I can picture the color.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Picture the eighteen hundreds, yeap as funneled through the nineteen seventies.
Last night I was watching the plague episode and it's dark.
It truly is like there's some haunting images. There's a
wagon that's being dragged by two horses with no rider
because the two people have died of typhus.

Speaker 4 (11:30):
And the horses are dumb. They're like, there's school, go
till someone, so stop, that's the day gooing.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
That's a good question, horsob what are we doing? I feel?

Speaker 4 (11:42):
So? Did they get lighter? Or am I stronger?

Speaker 2 (11:46):
I haven't said anything in a while, but would the
horses just keep moving without direction?

Speaker 4 (11:52):
What's your gut?

Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think they would? Hard workers, commitment and they love
the job.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Truses are I mean, horses are virgos.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
They're absolutely virgoes. Every horse is a virgo. Yeah. I
think that's probably true.

Speaker 4 (12:07):
That's why they call it horse season.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Horse season. September but yeah, it's a That episode in
particular was very haunting. The one before it dealt with
an age gap relationship.

Speaker 4 (12:19):
Oh, and the direction is what we could guess.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
It's well, now I fall asleep a lot, so I
can't remember exactly. You don't know who was older? Oh
who was older? I was. I thought you were gonna
say if it worked out or not, No, because it
doesn't work. I feel like they eventually acknowledge and said
this isn't going to work. The part as friends, they
part of his friends, and this guy is not old,
and it's just like, how did this happen in any
situation there's it's a bad matchup.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
Well, it's the prairie, this's the prairie.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
He's the town doctor, but the gal is head over
heels for this guy.

Speaker 4 (12:49):
A town doctor. Imagine a town doctor.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Well, town doctor who let's everyone in the next episode
die of typhus.

Speaker 4 (13:00):
I know he's so broken up.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Yeah, that's probably if she's to blame. It's always the
younger woman is to blame.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Is she a guest star or she's star? So she's
just gone after the relationship.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
She vanishes, She's she's in town visiting her maybe her aunt.
I think, okay, and so then when the relationship falls apart,
why stick around?

Speaker 4 (13:23):
She walks out of town and throws a vial over
her shoulder that explodes and releases diavis.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
It's her rat that gets into the corn feed. They're
rat in the corn feed, Rat in the corn feed.
Classic episode.

Speaker 4 (13:35):
I love that show.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
You've got to watch it. Everybody's got to watch it.
Mostly sounds. It's a lot, it's really dark. This episode
honestly is largely sound. You see that it opens with
people I now you're talking about this podcast episode, this episode,
this particular podcast episode relying on sound for this one.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
The sound episode.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Mostly purely visual, an action kind of a buster keat
and type a show. But this one we're entering the
sound era, and so, okay, great. This episode will be
two voices, a voice of at least two people talking
to each other.

Speaker 4 (14:15):
We're trying it out, we're trying it out.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's experimental. It's an idea show.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
It's an idea no wrong answer, no wrong answer.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, what's going on in your life?

Speaker 4 (14:29):
Oh my god? It sucks that you asked that because
the answer is something I would normally avoid, like someone
who Okay, I shot a short film the last two days.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
Oh, directed it, yeah, acted in it. No, No, thank god, Okay,
that would be a lot.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
Is just so to walk back and forth and look
at yourself on camp Why no, No, I don't ever
need to see a picture of myself ever.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Again.

Speaker 4 (14:56):
None that it's bad. It's just I think that humans
weren't supposed to see what they're.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Faces look like. I really don't think we meant to
do it.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
That's why we're all mentally ill. That's because we can
see it used to just be like the stream.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, yeah, like a glimpse, and you would think it
was another realm.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
It's another It's not what God wanted. If God wanted
us to see our faces, he wouldn't have put our
eyes on them.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Wow, I'll say it brought up a good point. Yeah,
but you are directing, and.

Speaker 4 (15:28):
Direction wrote yeah, so it was. It was I'm sleepy now,
but it was so cool, it was so fun. We
shot it in this like beautiful old Uh it was
a church campus, church campus, like it was. We were
in a building that wasn't the church building.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
It was like a big old house with an extra
not the rectory is where is like where the priest
shoot pool.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
I think, I don't really know the church and I
know the guys get out of here. But it it was.
It was.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
It's called Hamilton. The house itself was called Hamilton House.
It was at the Congregational Church of the Chimes in
Sherman Oaks and it was it just it almost felt
like a summer camp right where because they also had
a summer camp going on. So we were shooting in
this beautiful house that had multiple rooms. It was massive,
which was great. But right outside of it was a

(16:30):
swimming pool where they taught preschoolers swim.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Lessons, okay, and probably baptisms.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
Wow. I didn't even think about that.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
Might as well if you just blessed the water like
a little bit of summer fun.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
I took my kid to go swimming and now he's saved.
What the hell has.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
A great idea? Wow, you can teach your child to
swim and have them be born again m secretly secret.
No one needs to know.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
No one's doing this, no one needs no one needs
to know that your baptized up for guard. But it
was great that anytime we were in the middle of
I was like, this is it this is the take.
Oh my god, I'm picturing the Laurels. Here they come.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
You'd hear ki kick kick good. Yeah, And it was.

Speaker 4 (17:23):
Great because people kept saying, kids are screaming outside, and
then my idea was like, it's actually the adults teaching
the kids. The kids are they have their faces in
the water, and the adults are screaming like their kids were.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
They were you not warns that there was gonna be
all this noise.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
They said sometimes they teach swim lessons, but only from
three pm to seven pm every day. We were like, well,
that's sort of when tough time movies happen. And they
were like, we can just tell them not to come
if you want, and we were like that'd be good.
And but so neither of us were really committing to

(17:58):
saying like, yeah, go tell the kids that I can't
swim in a pool in the summer time.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
I think.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
I was just like, God's on my side. There's wind
in my sales, it won't be a problem. It was
actually the sound person was like, it's fine, Like it's
really thick glass windows, so she was it was the
opposite where like everyone in the room could hear screaming
and then on the boom mic she was like, no,
it's fine.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
That to me sounds wrong. I'm I think your audio's ruined.
I'm always like, if I can hear it, absolutely, If
a microphone can't pick up something, I can hear, the
microphone's broken.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
Do you hear a suggestible I am where I'm like,
I don't know how film works, and I'm gonna be
a good collaborator. I'm just gonna say, oh, crossing one eighty,
I'll never understand that day in my life. Ever, I'm
committed to not knowing it. So you tell me that
if we can hear it with our ears but the
mic can't, I'll go that's just another thing that I
don't get at. Okay, and thumbs up.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
That's like if I can smell something, I'm like, my
sense of smell is so bad. I'm like, certainly this
is like a statewide issue. Everyone can smell this.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
Yeah, well, we're in Burbank, near the the beautiful wastewater treatment.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Plant over in the five and can you smell that when.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
You drive past it? It's crazy. Certain times a day
it's by the AMC, the like three AMC's.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh yeah, they're at least on the five. Yeah, have
you ever smelled it?

Speaker 4 (19:15):
You just haven't been over there at rush hour. I
guess they release all the fart smells at rush hour.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
They just open a valve and it just pipes.

Speaker 4 (19:24):
As bad as possible. They're like, what if we created
a bad moment for people.

Speaker 2 (19:29):
There's also kind of a secret jail right there. Oh,
aware of this? No, it's right by those theaters. No. Yeah,
I park by it because it's the easiest parking over there,
because it's notoriously near the worst parking in the world,
which is dominated by Ross Dress for Less. I don't
know if you've been in that parking garage.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
I have, and it doesn't feel good.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
It feels baffling. I go in there and I think,
how is Ross just always just overrun with customers? How
are there this many Ross cars? It Also, there's something
about that parking garage that makes me feel like I'm
about to accidentally drive into the store. It's like, keep going,
and it points you towards the door. Really, this isn't right.

(20:14):
They also have a valet for the Ross.

Speaker 4 (20:16):
No they don't.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
I'm pretty sure they do. I might just be in
a state when I'm in there, and but I'm pretty
sure you can have your car valet at Ross.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Who's valeting their car at Ross?

Speaker 2 (20:27):
I guess if there was one place in the world
where I would valet, it would be at a Ross.
Why because I refuse to valet anywhere else. I think
it's too expensive. But I feel like it Ross. They
must have a good deal.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
You know that it's the opposite. You know what Ross
I really likes. It's seventy bucks.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
And then they park you just like in a tow
zone somewhere else.

Speaker 4 (20:47):
They just drive you into the rocks a valet.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
Now there is a one man show if I've ever heard.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
It, Oh the Ross valet guy. Oh come on, okay,
what what is the short about? Can you say?

Speaker 4 (21:02):
It's about two sisters and their mom just died, and
they're at the funeral and they're about to go to
the cemetery and like close the coffin and go, but
they realize that they haven't decided if their mom would
have wanted to be buried wearing the necklace that she's wearing,
or if she would have wanted them to take it

(21:22):
off and like give it a new life, right, And
it's them having that conversation and then the mom comes
back to get it back at night.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Oh I love this. Yeah, this also reminds me. I
just watched The Mortician. I don't know if you watched that.

Speaker 4 (21:37):
I watched it. I have a friend who lives near
that place.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
No, we have you driven past?

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (21:44):
What's left?

Speaker 4 (21:44):
It's a lamp store now.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
Oh, good lamps expensive?

Speaker 4 (21:48):
I may The lamp industry is not not romanticized about anything.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
No, they're like, you don't care.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
What whose teeth got pulled out to be sold?

Speaker 2 (21:57):
You will have got dragged off a body? It het frosts.

Speaker 4 (22:01):
Do you think you'd be a good cremation worker?

Speaker 3 (22:05):
No?

Speaker 4 (22:06):
What job would you want in a crooked funeral home?

Speaker 2 (22:09):
In a crooked funeral home, yes, I would probably want
to be. I would want to be doing the flowers
and overcharging for flowers. That's the easiest, cleanest job. You know,
everybody overcharges for flowers, so you don't feel as bad
about it. You're just in your shop, just in my shop.
You're not going where they're doing it, not smelling the
various things, not saying I couldn't deal with the bodies.

(22:33):
What would you do?

Speaker 4 (22:34):
Is there a job that you clean up like little
trash that's been left in the the chapels.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Like various like Dorito's bags and cigarettes.

Speaker 4 (22:45):
No, like indoor trash, like a little dixie cup.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
That's what I'm talking about, funeral goers like popcorn buckets.
It's not Joe, try my grandma. Yeah, up the chapel.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
I think that's a job, big gulf cups, a sweeper.
This is the problem, though, is I don't think there's
any good jobs.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
I think.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
If you're the flowers person, you're also you're in it.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
You're in it, you're experiencing it being you're getting paid
too much. The mom who's pulling all the strings, you know,
because she was so heavily involved.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
They loved her.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Everyone loved her. And she was a villain, an absolute devil.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
She's the devil, but everyone talked about her just so rapturously.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Well, I guess she was a really sweet gal. Outside
of just robbing the general public and kind of orchestrating
all these bodies being burned at once. She had a
lot of good ideas.

Speaker 4 (23:37):
It's bad And then when her son got caught and
went to prison, her son's wife was like, I can't
feed my children, and this beautiful, lovely woman told her
to go on food stamps instead of giving her money
for the grave robbing business that she profited off of.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Once you put a lot of hard work into that shed,
you know what she earned it.

Speaker 4 (24:02):
This is why people with money have money is because
they save their money.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yes, they save and earned they do. No one has
ever gotten money dishonestly. When you earn it, you deserve it,
and you shouldn't give it to other people, most all
your daughter in law and grandchildren.

Speaker 4 (24:16):
What are kids gonna do with money? Why everyone's like
child support? Why does a kid they don't even have wallets?
Why is a kid using money for?

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, there's something that you just had a huge problem
in the system.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
I don't get it.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
Can someone explain to me child explain it?

Speaker 4 (24:37):
Like I'm vie.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
For what? Well? Yeah, I think I probably would either
be the mom or the flower flop.

Speaker 4 (24:50):
I think those are great answering. I honestly, I had
a phase where I wanted to become a funeral director.
Really yeah, at one age thirty four, So recently I
looked into it. There's a college nearby, you can get
the Pasadena. Yeah, Pasadena, like invented.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
What's going on on death?

Speaker 4 (25:12):
What's going on in Pasadena?

Speaker 2 (25:13):
There's there's a lot of the occults. There's a lot
of things happening there.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
You're right, there is the call the JPL.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
There's the JPL cult and yeah, and how did that happen?
Because it was kind of sci fi cults, the devil
it was.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
Yeah, it was like the scientists were also like sort
of Alistair Crowley.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
I say, number one Satanist Alistair Crowley.

Speaker 4 (25:35):
Yeah, I don't know. It's beautiful there.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
It's gorgeous.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
You need to invent something that's darker.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
People have big houses. They're bored.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
The houses are scary there.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Ye, people are like, oh my house is scary. What
should I do?

Speaker 4 (25:47):
I will worship Saytan, Yeah, what were we talking about?
Oh that I I honestly, unfortunately, do think that I
would want to be down there mixing it up with
the tooth pluckers.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
You would what?

Speaker 4 (26:04):
Not because I want to, but because that seems like
the hardest, worst job, and that is sort of what
I gravitate towards.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
You want to just miserable work.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
Yeah, I want to be squeezed hard.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
What's the most miserable job? You've ever had.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
That's such a good question. Miserable. I had a job
after college working for a fabric manufacturer or a fabric
importer okay, okay, which was a woman. It was a
business run by a woman who lived in Chelsea, and
it was like she would have an assistant that rotated

(26:42):
around different UCB people. And the job was cold calling
fabric wholesalers to try to get them to buy a
like bulk orders of fabric.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
How successful could that possibly be?

Speaker 4 (27:00):
I don't know. I'll tell you something. They were not
successful when I was working there because I didn't The
only words I remember are ponting knit. So I was
calling places that I didn't know. I don't like talking
to people I don't know sure, and trying to sell
them something that I didn't understand and had never seen.

(27:20):
And I also was in charge of logging my own hours,
and because I didn't understand it at all, I spend
a lot of time trying like being shy, Right, I
guess I've had my hours because I spent so little
time working. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (27:35):
A lot of us just spent stuttering.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
And yet if you have a pit in your stomach,
that's actually working.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Oh, that's regardless of if you're working or not. I
would argue, that's more than working, that's double time time.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
Yeah. So then she was I made no sales for her,
and after like a month she was looking at my time.
She's like, how is this possible? You work ten hours
this whole week and you sold nothing?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Did she pay for them?

Speaker 4 (28:05):
She paid me out and then fired.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Me, but she continued to hire UCB people. I don't
know what she did. Number one comedy nerd, this fabric saleswoman.

Speaker 4 (28:15):
Do you want to buy Ponting knit?

Speaker 2 (28:17):
Sure? Tell me about it.

Speaker 4 (28:19):
No, I can't, And I don't want to be talking
to you at all right now. A shy doorder door salesman.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
That's that's what I would be.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, well, I think you'd be a great doorder door salesman.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
So insulting.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
That is insulting. I'm sorry. You're friendly and you have
a nice voice.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
I would be horrible. I would crumble, what kind of
horrible would you be? I don't like talking to people
I don't know. Really, I don't like imposing, Okay, I don't.
I'm just a bad salesperson, to be honest, I've been
in I've been in SALESI ish jobs and been so bad.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
As what described to me as sales issue.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Let's see it. The first one that comes to I've
both were kind of retailish. One was Apple store that
is a social owner, and I an Apple computer at
the time, so I was not only trying to sell
these things. I didn't know anything about them because I
didn't I owned an iPod.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
No, so I titled genius.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Thank God they didn't let me see as a genius.
A genius. I don't know anything, Please God, No, I
let no one ask me a question today because I
don't know anything. That's how I felt. So I was
like I would just kind of like not make eye
contact with customers and kind of just buzz around and
try to stay near music stuff so I can answer
questions about iPods.

Speaker 4 (29:38):
Oh no, I.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Think it was probably like six months before I actually
because then they give you a discount on a computer
because I think they're like, please God, buy one of
our products. So I bought I think six months in.
But then I think I worked for eight months total
or something, and then I went back to work. But
whatever that one, and then I worked at best Buy
selling and as a cashier. This thing you have to
sell is product replacement plans, which is like insurance on

(30:01):
your CD player or whatever, and then free subscriptions to
Entertainment Weekly or Sports Illustrated.

Speaker 4 (30:08):
That's the scammiest shit. You were also pitch it to
them at the registered Yes, what would you say.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
Would you like to sign up for eight free weeks
of Entertainment Weekly or Sports Illustrated? To like, what the
fuck I'm buying headphones that I'm gonna return? What do
you talk? Why are we talking?

Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (30:24):
And then then you like had to then you would
hope that the man manager wasn't nearby because you could
be like, you can just give me your credit card
number and then cancel right here, because you know, you're
like just trying to get people to sign up for
these things.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
Did you have a quota?

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Of course, there was a whole thing, and then fuck,
you didn't make commission, So it's like, why am I
doing it?

Speaker 4 (30:42):
It's pressure. I worked at Victoria's Secret for a little
bit and they try to get us to get people
to sign up for the bullshit in store credit cards
and they were like, you need to do one per
shift at least. That's a lot and I was like,
I will not. I think I worked there for a
few months and I, oh, it's got one person to
do it. And then she couldn't find her driver's license.

(31:04):
Gives you so close?

Speaker 2 (31:05):
Can you pitch me on a Victoria's Secret credit card?
An underwear card? Sure that sounds good? Oh no, oh no, no,
it's horrible.

Speaker 4 (31:25):
And you're interested in signing up for an Angel's card.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
Oh that's what they're called angels.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
I my mouth remembered it, my brain did card. You
seem to really easily remember.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Oh, like that came out of me, Like, I mean,
this is such a long time ago. This is brainwashing, brainwashing. Yeah,
I've been brainwashed. Yeah, and people don't talk about that
enough about me, what I've been through.

Speaker 4 (31:46):
What do you want them to say in your fantasy?

Speaker 2 (31:48):
What do they say he was brainwashed? I think that's easy.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Spread the word he was brainwashed. And look at him now,
and look at him now, he's doing so good. That's
so sweet.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Spread the word.

Speaker 3 (32:03):
Well.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
I think, look, there's something else we have to talk about. Yes,
another thing I'm not that comfortable talking about. I was
so happy you would be on the podcast. I was
really excited you would come and do the show. Thought,
Anna will come by. We'll have a nice conversation, you
will share secrets. We'll get into it and have a
nice time, and then our lives will move on. The

(32:24):
podcast is called I Said No Gifts. I don't know
if you got an email or a call or anything. Okay,
interesting because you did kind of walk into the studio.
I would say, kind of stride into the studio today
holding what's obviously a gift. Yeah, okay, is that for me?

(32:46):
Well yeah, okay, I skim the email. Oh you're a skimmer.

Speaker 4 (32:51):
Yeah, but it did say please bring a gift.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Oh. Interesting.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
On the podcast, make sure it's wrapped, because that's part
of it. It's funny that it's called I Said No Gifts,
and the joke will be that you bring one, and
then he'll act offended.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
That is not in the email. Yes, it is absolutely
not in the email. And the email went like this,
It was moving its head all around. Well, okay, so
you've come here to lie in my to my face,
Lie in your face, lie in my face, lie in
my arms. As I whispered you lie in your that
I'm ready.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
Should I open it here on the podcast? Yes?

Speaker 4 (33:31):
Okay, I'm giving you a gift that's a classic me gift,
which is so tall, an insecure gift that's a bunch
of stuff, okay, a grab bag. Is this not okay?

Speaker 2 (33:44):
That's here?

Speaker 4 (33:45):
If it's not okay, I have a thing that I
want you to pull out from it.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
It's okay, it's okay, Okay, it's Okayause I know that
that's cheating.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
But this is the way that I give gifts with
friends is I feel insecure, and I put too much
stuff in, and I put it in like an ironic
leftover bag. This is an edible arrangements bouquet bag. I
wrote on an awards show, and Edible Arrangements sent three
arrangements that were my size and a big, beautiful bouquet
of like eighty flowers, Oh my god, and no one

(34:13):
touched any of it. Of course, I ate so much
fruit I almost died. And then I took home the flowers,
which were all dead.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
What were the arrangements fruit? Like? What was the shape like?

Speaker 4 (34:23):
I don't The shape was like a hot air balloon.
But all of it was like the wedges of it.
It wasn't like a little chunk of melon. It was
like an entire crescent of honeydew, but naked.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
Interesting. I love honey honey.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Oh my god, I was dressed. I was like, these
all have to get eaten.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Was edible arrangements to funerals? God, I bet they do
have a nice fruit wreath in front of the tall
this is it's a tall in this.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, and it's great for a bouquet because you can
put water in the bottom of the bag.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Oh yeah, of course. Yeah. Okay, so we're opening it.
It's a very tall, kind of transparent bag from edible
Arrangements and with this gorgeous sage ribbon that I'm struggling
right here we go. Okay, so time does it matter?

Speaker 1 (35:11):
No?

Speaker 4 (35:11):
I thought we'd just play.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
My arm isn't long enough to get to the bottom
of stick.

Speaker 4 (35:16):
Put it on the floor and then reach it.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
Does it even further away my body?

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Does it matter which thing I bring up first? No,
it's going to be like jazz okay, of course, kind
of a jazz guy. Okay, Oh this is great. Already
we've got a beautiful uh slinky radio rainbow slinky.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
I don't know when I got that, but it is
unopened new inbox. Mint condition, and I be, and I
keep it in a little pile of things for if
I have a friend with a kid who comes over.
This is my pile of children, like the.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
Person you are. It's like a dentist office treasure box.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
Well this is I think this is the last one
of two things.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Oh there were two objects.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
Yeah, but I've lost confidence in a kid being interested
in overtime.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Now I've never seen a slinking Is this a spine
on it?

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, it's it's never stuck together a little bit. Oh
it's also quite old.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yeah, like it's like sealed. Yeah. Isn't that fun? Oh yeah,
crack the spine on that baby, careful, be careful, snatch
it out of my hands. Okay, now it's tied into them.

Speaker 4 (36:25):
Oh he likes you.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
This could be the rest of the episode. Is me
now being wait.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
Okay, yeah, just okay, Now push the part that you
have in your right hands.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah, there you go it stressful see directing? Wow where
did you oh did you can't get Where did you
get this? I don't know.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
It's been in the do children like this pile for
so long? I think I got it as like there
were leftover prizes at a dunk tank or something.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
I have no idea. It's beautiful. I've never seen a
rainbow slinking like I only ever see the metal ones.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
Wow, those are like the historic ones.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
What did you do? I broke it? No, it's just
break it. Don't you try to.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
I'm just amazing.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
It's like it ruined here. You can like this like this.
It's good for like a phone call. I like to
have a thing on a phone call that I can
play with, like a fidget spinner.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
Like a fidget spinner, you can go like that. You
can try to get it to go downstairs. But the
small ones just do that.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
They kind of just die.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
They fall diacic.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
Looks like it has lost its skeleton or something. Let's
see if we can do it off. I think it
fell down.

Speaker 4 (37:34):
That's the cool thing about slinkies is if you drop
them off a table, they fall down.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
That's why they called it that. I honestly with without stairs,
I don't really see the point of a slinking.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
It's to do exactly what you're doing right now.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
This is them. This is like the reason you have
a slinky is to kind of just accordion style.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
Oh and you can also hold it.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Actually, a little closer to the mic so we can
get that asmr oh.

Speaker 4 (37:57):
Yeah like that, yeah and also yeah, like back and
forth like like that. Well, when there's a kink in it,
it doesn't slink as much.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
There's no kink in it. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 4 (38:13):
You're smiling now.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
I feel I've never done this with the slinky before.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
Really, that's the whole thing I've done with slinkies.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Evidently, the one thing you're supposed to do with it.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
Oh, I like it a lot.

Speaker 4 (38:23):
The slinkies that can go downstairs. You need the metal heft.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
To do the plastics not going plastics.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
It can try, but it will it'll fall.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
How often are you having like a long phone call.

Speaker 4 (38:36):
I'm a verbal thinker, so all the time really just
takes a.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
While, Like daily you'll have multiple long for I mean no.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
Like I would say, a long phone call is like
an eleven minute phone call. Oh okay, where I need
to have my hands doing something, right. Do you ever
get off a phone call and look down and you've
made like a hereditary, weird haunted like doll out of
like paper clips and like bobby pins and stuff.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
I hang up and I'm like, what did I make.
I wonder it's kind of like automatic writing or something
where your brain is one place and your hand is
doing something else.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
It's fucked up. The devil is working through my hands,
the devil when I'm going right, okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
That sounds good. I like to doodle while I'm on
a long phone call. What do you?

Speaker 4 (39:21):
What kind of do? What are your classic go to witch?

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I love a little witch witch. Yeah, little people, various
small people.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
Whole body or face.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
I start with face, and then I'm not as good
with body and arms and hands. It gets harder as
you go down. But with a witch you kind of
have a like you know, a dress is not hard
to draw, A little striped legs are not hard to draw.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
And the curly shoe, that's.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
The curly shoes so fun. The little boot with a
heel a wizard, that's an easy one to draw.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
Oh you can do that too. That's another thing. You
can go like, what the hell?

Speaker 2 (39:56):
And you can also put it on your wrist like
a bracelet. I wonder if that'll fit over my hand.
Oh that looks good.

Speaker 4 (40:02):
Actually, I was really scared. That was the feeling of
getting in a roller coaster seat where you're like, am
I gonna fit? This is gonna be embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
I wonder if my hands are I'm putting for.

Speaker 4 (40:13):
The listener he's trying to put it on.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
We're gonna have to butter up my.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
Thick thumb joint. It's is a handsome feature.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Oh I guess you can kind of just cheat it.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Oh well, this is can fit on anyone. It's rest them.
That's not if you've got the time.

Speaker 4 (40:31):
If you got the time, and it feels nice to
go like this when it's on your wrist, like move
your hand back and forth because it'll go like.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Get this on completely. This is really for you.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Look like you're from the future.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Now, Oh my god, I look so good. I'll look
at that. It looks good. Everyone loves it on me,
they do, okay, and I'm gonna use it to reach
into the bag again. Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
Okay, great.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
There's so many objects in here, a lot. You're a
bad uh. I was gonna say a bad game game
is called bad Choice.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
This is a a type of what's it called Cards
against Humanity type game that is a spin off that's a.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Different company, Okay, different company.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
In bookstores or target. There is an entire half of
an aisle that's this kind of thing, right, and this
is like it pull out, just pull out a card.
It's called bad choices. This was given to us by selus.
It's given to us by people who love cards against humanity.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
Which I'm trying to neutral. Yeah, trying? Okay, great, and
keep the party going. Okay, let's pull a card out.
This says, would you ever lie about a person to
get them fired? Sure? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (41:56):
The conversation ends after are you a piece of shit?
Keep going?

Speaker 2 (42:01):
I do it constantly. I found somebody who ever?

Speaker 4 (42:03):
Let I need more context.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Okay, let's see here. Would you spend the night in
a full porta potty for ten thousand dollars? See, this
is where you know my attitude towards the game is
getting worse and worse.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
Would you?

Speaker 2 (42:16):
I would? I would spend the night like buried, like
in a coffin for twenty dollars? What are we talking about?
Sounds nice? Some quiet? It's a little float tank. Ten
thousand dollars? Ye have course?

Speaker 4 (42:31):
How long is a night?

Speaker 2 (42:33):
That's nothing? Which you would? Yeah? My superpower is I
don't mind porta potties? Oh interesting, I can hang with it.

Speaker 4 (42:41):
I think it's the same part of me that would
want to be ripping out teeth. Oh right, most people
would hate this, and I can put up with anything.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
I almost feel like it's the cleaner smell in a
porta potty that's the real problem. Yeah, that stuff.

Speaker 4 (42:53):
Is how would you describe that smell?

Speaker 2 (42:56):
Like the smell of a gag? Do you know what
I mean? That's it's like so, I mean, it's just
horrible industrial Okay, let's get one more out of here.
Out of bad choices the game and this is like
a wild card. Have you ever had more than eight
shots in one night? Yeah? I love These are yes

(43:18):
or no questions. It really is just people contending with
am i abusis shit. And then I guess like at
some point the box just goes to the side and
then everyone continue trying to make anyone looks at their feet. Yeah.
I don't know if this is how you feel about
this style of game, Cards against Humanity, whatever, where it
kind of is like trying to make you feel like

(43:40):
a naughty person or whatever. Yes, it's very like morning radio.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
It's like it's for religious people to be like, I
can't believe I did a crazy thing last night, right,
and the crazy thing was would you kiss an ant
for a hundred donuts? You're like that was crazy?

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Yeah, they And sometimes you get drawn into these, you know,
like you'll go to an event or a party or
something and someone's playing it and then the feeling for
me couldn't be worse.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
The feeling for me couldn't be worse too, And the
worst part of it, the feeling is the worst when
you see the game, like the game's already on the
table and then the hand is taking the lid off
of the box, because then you know you're in.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
You're for at least like six rounds, and then you
have to you can't be like a like a sore party.
What is a sour post a sore participant participant? You
don't want to be like the drag at the party.
But it's like, oh, what do you look at? You're
doing to me? This isn't who I am, And I
have to like throw myself in because I am competitive

(44:53):
and I'll feel bad if I lose.

Speaker 4 (44:55):
Yeah, would you ever fuck a chair or.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Kiss hi? Or I'm like what it's always obviously it's
your birthday?

Speaker 4 (45:04):
What are we talking about?

Speaker 3 (45:05):
This?

Speaker 2 (45:06):
Horrible and I would do both. I would do it.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
I have to pick only one.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Yeah, I uh, there's another game that's that kind of
walk walks the line of this. I don't know if
you've ever played Quiplash, yes, which was kind of my
hell through the pandemic.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
That's hard.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
You know. People would be like, let's have a game
night on Zoom.

Speaker 4 (45:27):
Yeah, and it's the only way you can get social.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Interaction with your friends.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
But oh, that's really I happen to enjoy those games
you do. But I like playing it with other comedy
people because then it's us just writing like poop poop
peepee and that like seeing the game like flip a
thing around and it says like doodoo diarrhea likes. That's
the appeal for me. But when I'm playing with non

(45:53):
comedians and it's like the way that it's supposed to
be played, I feel so competitive and inane. I'm like,
I don't like I don't like who I am right.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Now, right, I'm fine with them if Yeah, everybody's on
board from the beginning of just like, let we're destroying
the game. We know what this is. Yeah, I also
don't mind one. That's mind one that's more like neutral,
like an apples to apples. Yeah, where it's like it's
just very neutral words on cards.

Speaker 4 (46:21):
I also I have I don't like apples.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
To as you don't like apples to apples.

Speaker 4 (46:25):
Because I'm not.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
Good at it.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
I always get bad cards.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Every card's fine.

Speaker 4 (46:30):
No, I'll get a full hand of like a truck
a dog.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
Those are good.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
Oh you know what I'm realizing now, I'm blaming my cards.
I'm the problem.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
You're the problem.

Speaker 4 (46:42):
It's what you do with them.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
The cards are dealt. This is life, this is this
is life. Okay, well it should we keep going. Let's
ask one more. Let's just see why is it? Why
is every one of them? Yes? Or no? I guess
I must play into the game.

Speaker 4 (46:54):
It's an end of a conversation.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Would you drink a glassful of someone else's piss for
five thousand dollars? I hate this? No, I again, I
would do it for twenty I'm very hard.

Speaker 4 (47:09):
Stop overpaying me for things I would do anyway.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
That I'm doing for free.

Speaker 4 (47:13):
Coff, I'm annoying because I answered all of this is
like who's pits?

Speaker 2 (47:20):
Right, which I think you're actually like kind of fixing
the game for that.

Speaker 4 (47:23):
Big as the glass? What's the temperature of the piz right?

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Whereas like the game is just asking yes or no?
You need more information a negotiation. This is but it
is seventeen plus.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
Ooh yeah, that's why it's fun.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
Okay, we're reaching back in. Oh, this is tasteful. This
is a sticky note folio from the Rifle Paper Company.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
Yeah, give it an open.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Oh, I like this.

Speaker 4 (47:48):
This is really good.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
Little labels and stuff with that kind of a floral.

Speaker 4 (47:52):
Little sticky notes, sticky. You can see it's still mint.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
Brand brand new. Where did this come from?

Speaker 4 (47:59):
I I bought three of them with the idea that
I would give them as gifts to my aunts for
Mother's Day, and then I realized that I can't follow
through on anything.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
Did you give away any of them?

Speaker 4 (48:10):
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Okay? I I feel like my uh ability to schedule
and remember things has absolutely been decimated in the last year. Yeah.
Where I have things fully scheduled and I'll look at
my calendar in the morning and then do none of them?
Can fully miss therapy fully? Oh you forget? Yeah. I

(48:32):
think it's just like I have so much free time
at this point that.

Speaker 4 (48:35):
It's just when there's something to do, you forget.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Yeah, it makes it doesn't make any sense that I
would have something to do that doesn't sound like me therapy,
I'm fine. Do you use like a Google like a Google? Yoh, yeah,
of course.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
And do you put any alerts on there?

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Well, here's my big problem. I don't like an alert.
I don't like to be bothered. I have my phone
on do not disturb at all times. So it's kind
of luck that I am in touch with anyone that
I remember anything. Yeah, it's all kind of on my schedule.
Even my own calendar is on my schedule or like
you know, it's like up to me whether I look

(49:15):
at it, and so you know, it's kind of luck
if I get something done.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
Is that exciting though? Do you like the excitement?

Speaker 3 (49:24):
No?

Speaker 4 (49:24):
Okay, it feels bad.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Yeah, it feels hard. This is a problem you're creating,
Oh absolutely, and you're aware of it. Yes, that's I
And this is something I really don't like in other
people when I'm like, I know you're aware of the problem,
why aren't you just working on it?

Speaker 4 (49:36):
I know? It's it is like when someone says I'm
having such a hard time with this thing, and then
they say or if it's like I'm having a hell
of a time fighting an apartment and you say I
can help, they're like, okay, because I need it to
be a two bedroom, I need it to be on
the Hollywood side, and it has to have a butler, and.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
If it could be in San Diego, yeah, and also there.

Speaker 4 (50:03):
And you're like, oh no, the problem is the goal.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
Yes, and I have all I do all of these things,
and yet I, oh, yeah, I don't try to fix them.
Are you good with scheduling?

Speaker 4 (50:17):
I am not, And I think I'm one of those
people who's bad with scheduling. And so I put everything
in the Google calendar, right, But that then means that
if I don't put it in, it doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
Right.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
That's the thing I used to be. Yeah, and now
I've kind of become both where nothing ever exists, Apparently.

Speaker 4 (50:38):
Nothing ever exists. Apparently it's so tough. It's a good podcast.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Nothing ever exists. Apparently that could be a good like
not true crime, but the mystery genre, mystery poetry, mystery
poetry podcast. Wow, this is very good, though, I think
little reminders maybe it'll help. Physical reminders is a good
way back, I think to schedule. Yeah, right, big time,
big time.

Speaker 4 (51:02):
A notebook? A notebook with two things written on the
first two pages and then completely empty.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Is that how you journal?

Speaker 4 (51:10):
Do you journal the amount I do? And it is shameful.
I'll I'll go through like eight months of doing it
and then five years. Not right, but the shame of
having a planner or a notebook where it's like the
first two pages are filled in and the rest is playing.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Oh yeah, so what happened to my life? Sucks? Have
you missed any big events because of scheduling.

Speaker 4 (51:32):
All the time? I will say there was one example
where it wasn't my fault, where my agent asked me,
this is years ago, if I would do a college
show in Maine, okay? And I said, yeah, I'm available,
And then I didn't hear back. And then on the
day the agent assistant called me and was like, hey,

(51:54):
just wanted to check and make sure you're on your
way to rule mail. Oh no, I was like, what
the fuck is up? Just in my house?

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (52:02):
And then I had to fly into a different city
in Maine. I guess it didn't have.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
To, but I wanted to sure it was.

Speaker 4 (52:08):
I was in such a panic that I didn't realize
that it was not my fault because I just like,
I'm always confused. So I had to fly into a
different city in Maine because there were no other flights
available at that time to get there for the flight,
and then I took a two hour uber.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
How much did it cost to get there?

Speaker 4 (52:24):
I think the flight was like two hundred dollars and
then the uber was one hundred and eighty or something,
and then I probably got like maybe fifteen hundred dollars
for the show.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Wasn't you made it out a little bit?

Speaker 4 (52:37):
Yeah, it wasn't a good deal. But the woman who
drove me told me that she used to work in
nursing homes and she quit because the staff, the staff
at all nursing homes aren't very abusive to the patients.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Oh, I think that happens more often than you think.

Speaker 4 (52:53):
I was like, I'm so glad that we have two
hours to really dig into this.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
I worked at a retirement home in the dining room.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
What did you do there?

Speaker 2 (53:02):
I was a waiter and a lot of the residents
would lie about having diabetes in order to get the
diabetic ice cream. That's that was the big secret. Why
did they want that? Because they didn't want the desert
of the day, because it was usually worse than diabetic
ice cream.

Speaker 4 (53:15):
That sounds bad. I must have loved you. I measure
being an old person and you're the waiter.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
I can't say one way or the other. I will
say at the time I had pretty long hair, and
a lot of them just thought I was a woman.
For the probably the first two weeks, They're like, who's
this sweet young lady? And then we slowly learned, and
then some of them didn't, and we just worked worked
through it.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
Most people, I think probably like talking to you.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
That's very nice.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
I think it's true.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
It's calm, it's very sweet. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
If I were a rehabbed owl and you came towards
my creat I wouldn't go on the corner.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
I just maybe I'll start an owl rescue.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
Maybe maybe keep going getting back in here.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
This is a full destroyed book. I've never heard of this.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
It'sanaslavsky system.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
Yeah, this is a system of acting. It is.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
Yeah, this is like the big one.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
How have I never heard of this one?

Speaker 4 (54:10):
It's Danaslavsky. I don't know. That's so the main one
this is from college. We had to get it.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Where did you go to school? Why you okay, Well,
I mean.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
The Harvard of the South.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
Yeah, this is a must have acting.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Book and you've really gotten into it.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
Yeah, it's water damaged. I hope nothing's highlighted. I just
wanted you to have it in case you wanted to.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
I want to see if you highlighted anything.

Speaker 4 (54:34):
Do iret my name and phone number in the front?

Speaker 2 (54:37):
I didn't do that.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
No, this I've been through it. Yeah, it's a lot
of acting as if like, what's your character motivation? Actually,
I was like, I don't know if I can give
this away because.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
What if I become what if you forget about it
really hot and they need me. Let's see, you didn't
highlight anything, so I don't think you really cared to learn. Oh,
let's see more. Just that kind of facts. These aren't
that interesting thing?

Speaker 4 (55:03):
Can you read one?

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Uh? Let's see on stage. An actor's senses are often
prone to paralysis because of the break in natural psychophysical behavior.
The actor then loses the feeling of real life and
forgets how to do the simplest things that he does
not naturally and spontaneously do. In life. Hmm ring any
bells remind you of anyone? Did you major in acting?

(55:29):
I did? Oh, I didn't know that.

Speaker 4 (55:31):
I have a college degree in acting.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
And it can we apply to almost anything. It can, yeah,
sort of action.

Speaker 4 (55:38):
It's always shocking when something from the acting degree.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Is helpful in other areas.

Speaker 4 (55:44):
You mean, like in like writing or whatever.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
Oh sure, sure, it's like, huh I went.

Speaker 4 (55:50):
To goofball school.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
I can't believe. Can you think of anything specifically like? Uh?

Speaker 4 (55:55):
No, no, I guess, like uh character, like the idea
of having a character biography.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Oh sure sure it's like.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
Oh yeah, I spent three weeks building out like I'm
an abusive old woman who lives in an attic and
I'm gonna write my favorite food where I grew up.
Yeah that's a bad example, but I guess I guess
it has never happened. I just wanted you to have it.

(56:23):
I'm worried that there's too much stuff in the bad No.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
I feel like we're almost done. Okay, and we've actually
received more idents on this podcast. Oh good, Okay, I
like not to well, actually, now that I'm saying maybe not.

Speaker 4 (56:34):
Yeah no, oh yeah. So there's a couple of press
on nails. Never, it's called never ever ever look at
that and you can stick control. Just to try. I
bought a bunch of press on nails for a thing
and then I was started to panic.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
I was like, which one is right? And then I
didn't return them. Oh sure, And when I see them
in my house, I feel like a stupid idiot. Where
are you storing all of this stuff.

Speaker 4 (57:01):
In little plastic bins in the only closet in the house,
and a bin that's labeled travel.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
The press on nails were in travel Travel has a
lot of room in it. Sure, and this is technically
weddings corporate events.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
Let me show you what it would look like. Does
this look great?

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (57:23):
This does this look like my hand?

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Absolutely? If you had shown up today with those nails,
I wouldn't have beat an eye.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
I panic and go who am I before? I get
dressed every time, and this this day was a bad one.
There's more. There's three more in there.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
And then we've got some multi action super CSPF which
expire February of last year.

Speaker 4 (57:50):
I bought that at Costco in to two BAC never
used it once, not neither of them.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
The other one is used but I think it's uh,
let's now in box.

Speaker 4 (58:00):
That's also from the travel box, because there is room
in travel.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
What is I've never used a vitamin sea moisturizer. Is
that supposed to like burn your skin off it?

Speaker 1 (58:08):
No?

Speaker 4 (58:09):
It puts it on. It puts the more on.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
What is vitamin C supposed to do to your skin?

Speaker 4 (58:13):
Make it good?

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Keep digging, Come on, people, people are almost done folding
their laundry. There's so many things this is. Look at this.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
Those I put in my suitcase every time I travel,
just in case, and they're old.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
Have they been used? No? I guess you can only
use these ones. People, you know, take them.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
Off and put them back on them are resourceful.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
From the Sephora collection.

Speaker 3 (58:42):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Then we've got a I dine.

Speaker 4 (58:45):
When I thought they might nuclear war, I bought in
a five pack.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
Do these expire? They better not expired? No?

Speaker 4 (58:54):
I bought them like five months ago.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
Oh expires in twenty thirty four.

Speaker 4 (58:57):
Oh thank god.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
So we definitely have to have a nuclear or more
before then. Waste. Yeah, what a waste of money.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
Then I have to eat them all at.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Once if there isn't some level of nuclear winter in
the next what nine years, we can do it. I
feel I feel like we have yeah, got the come on,
the power and the beliefs.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
It's also like I realized, like, what's the plan When
I run out? I just turn into Google.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
You had a great time.

Speaker 4 (59:25):
What's the point of extending?

Speaker 2 (59:27):
Like, what's the point in two weeks or something?

Speaker 4 (59:29):
Nuclear famously doesn't go away by that amount of bottle.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Yeah, these bottles should be huge.

Speaker 4 (59:35):
It came in a five pack on Amazon. It made
it look huge, and then they showed up and were tiny.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
I was like, okay, yeah, that's like for like a
quick like a nuclear weekend. That's not that's where like.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
I shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
But I will.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
I'm yeah. And that also was in the travel bit.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
That's travel worthy. I would say, just in case more tips.
These are alway for chill tips.

Speaker 4 (01:00:01):
I'm sorry, so no, So the chill tips were the
ones I ended up wearing. Oh right, and they were.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
The yellow ones, And that's a chill tips brand. I
don't like chill tips. Chill tips and this one's called
the never have I Ever.

Speaker 4 (01:00:13):
Yeah, they're both kind of like want you to think
about hand jobs.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Yeah, keep going, okay, setting this all up more from
the travel, more press on, more pressed on?

Speaker 4 (01:00:27):
Does that never have every These.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Are never had by ever with a It's like a
pink with a cheetah print.

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
Cheata print. I was panicking. I was like, am I
who do I? Whose hands are these going on?

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
And you had I mean they're all over the place.
You really had no idea.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
It was for the sn L fiftieth.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Okay, that's a confusing, and I never know.

Speaker 4 (01:00:50):
I never know how to be in a room right
with other people in general.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
And that was like, what steaks are kind of hot.
I have to just.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
Become a different person in order to get through whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
What did you end up wearing?

Speaker 4 (01:01:05):
I wore a bridesmaid's dress with a leather jacket, great
and yellow press on nails that I glued on my
fingers in thirty rock while watching the show.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Did you get any compliments?

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
I don't think so. And I just kept hurting myself.
If you hit the tip of the back of it
on something, it like hurts, it pulls up your little guy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
These. Yes, that feels like if you got them done professionally,
they would be on so much.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
Well, it's not gonna It's just like a little yank.
It's not. It wouldn't pull your finger off.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
Well maybe depending on your diet and general health.

Speaker 4 (01:01:41):
It comes back to who's pisses this?

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Yeah, who's pisses this? Keeep gone?

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
Come on? Also from the travel.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
Then tissue tissue. There's only one thing.

Speaker 4 (01:01:50):
Let throw the tissue on there. It really Oh my god,
I'm excited for this.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
In who Let's sit here, it's it says I needed tension.
It's a button that says I need attention.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
But that says I need attention.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
State Mutual Savings.

Speaker 4 (01:02:05):
I got that in an estate sale a few years ago,
and I was like, I need to give this to
someone who's funny and stylish, because I think it's actually nice.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
This is There was a I feel like a period
probably between nineteen sixty nine and nineteen eighty seven. I
would say that feels like a period when buttons like
this were getting made and they looked hard and they
had things right that were like kind of funny but
not trying too hard, yes, and anyone could wear them
any You're so almost anyone could wear a button during

(01:02:35):
that period.

Speaker 4 (01:02:36):
Almost anyone these days these days, you really it's like
it's just the town.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
Docked one in a million. It's able to wear a button.

Speaker 4 (01:02:45):
Yeah, So this is an assembly of things from the
travel bin, things that I bought with the idea of
I'll give it to someone and then kept not doing it.
And I somehow see that button eight times a day.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
I love this button and.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
Things that, uh it's it's stuff I don't use that
I feel I can't throw away.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
Right, that's almost everything for me. Yeah, if I spent
money on it, it does not matter if it has
any value in my life. If it's getting in the way,
I'm keeping it. I will carry it around like Jacob
Marley with the chains that he built in life link
by link, and I'm like.

Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
This is my bird. I bought this chill tips and
I will carry for the rest of my life as punishment.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Right now, something I didn't even buy myself. My dad
accidentally sent me two massive boxes of industrial sized garbage
bags from Costco. He was trying to send them to himself,
and they've been in my car for well I've bet
I've talked about on this podcast, probably over a year ago.

Speaker 4 (01:03:48):
Industrial size meaning like a big barrel, like a big.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
Cbetaria, big enough probably to fit inside a like, you know,
like your la garbage can, so I can't be used
in the home, you know, I can't just put in
my kitchen garbage pan.

Speaker 4 (01:03:59):
Wow, who's lining their outdoor trash bin? That's impressive.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Somebody who doesn't like smell.

Speaker 4 (01:04:04):
I guess they respect themselves a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Yeah, but yeah, I'm holding onto everything. Did you go
to the state sales a lot?

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:04:11):
My friend Amy is in a state sale queen and
she finds great stuff. Whenever I went into a phase
and really liked it because I like little dude ads
and nickknacks. Sure, the issue is I now have buckets
of little craps like I need attention that I do
love that should go to someone as.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
A gift, right, and today was your turn. It's like
a people museum. It's like a museum. I like, Yeah,
I love going into a house that I wouldn't be
allowed in any other circumstances. I rarely buy anything. I'll
buy like a trinket.

Speaker 4 (01:04:43):
I now enjoy thrift stores and a state sales way
more knowing that I don't have to buy anything.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
Oh interesting, It's just it's a thing to go and do.
This is me completely, This is literally me with a
grocery store. You like to go and visit the I
love to just walk around and visit the food. My friend,
the food high food.

Speaker 4 (01:05:04):
Do you have a favorite food, a favorite isle? What
do you like to look at?

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
I don't have a favorite isle. Every isle has something
new for me to look at. I would say the
things that have the most turnover are like the snacks
and cookies for sure. Because Oreo has a new flavor
every thirty to forty seconds.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
They're very attention grabby.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
I mean, give them this button. I mean they're desperate,
the Oreo people are. It's sad, Dawn. We already like
you if we liked the first one. You don't have
to do any of this. I mean, like truly, seventy
flavors ago, they were out of good flavors, and now
it just feels like somebody that's like, oh, what's next

(01:05:43):
for your life? You're in a bad place. Banana. No
one likes a banana candy. I think there's a Selena Gomez.
Are you like a banana candy?

Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
I do, but yeah, I was like, who is it
to me?

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
More?

Speaker 4 (01:05:55):
I'm one hundred years old.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
You like a banana runt?

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
I like love a banana runt. Oh, that's when I save.
I like a banana laffy. Daffy comes with a smile.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
It's nice to know that there is somebody that they're
making them for. Yeah, I'm the one. You're the person.

Speaker 4 (01:06:09):
Sorry, I do that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
I haven't had a runt in a long time. And
I love that texture. Oh yeah, it's like eating a bead.

Speaker 4 (01:06:17):
I love putting beads in my mouth. I love plastic
in my mouth. And then I found out about micropot.
It is like eating a bead.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
It's very much like eating a little bead.

Speaker 4 (01:06:26):
And it's an exciting moment because it's like there's a
chance if I bite down hard enough, I'll split my
skull open. This could this could be.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
It for a split second of banana. That's that's what
you're putting on the line.

Speaker 4 (01:06:41):
It's a rush.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Yeah, it's an absolute rush. I don't even know if
they sell runts anymore. I should look into it. Well,
is there anything left to say about this enormous pile
of goods.

Speaker 4 (01:06:51):
It's a relief to have it out of the house.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Thank you so much for kind of pouring it on.

Speaker 4 (01:06:55):
Yeah, thank you so much to help me out. I
keep being like I'll put it on the curb and
put a post on buy nothing Burban, right, And then
even that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
Is like that's hard.

Speaker 4 (01:07:04):
You're not supposed to just do flash gibs.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
You can, but oh, I didn't know you couldn't do that.

Speaker 4 (01:07:08):
You can, Okay, it's not the spirit of the.

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
Group, right. It needs to be more intentional.

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
You should post it individually with photos.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
It should be. The admins are.

Speaker 4 (01:07:18):
Constantly tagging everyone in the group to add another role
and I'm scared of the group. So yeah, but I
can't throw it out and I can't really donate it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
The standards for buy Nothing are way higher than I expected.
Just getting into my group was a huge pain. You
have to say, like it's like who you are Almoso,
like a background.

Speaker 4 (01:07:37):
Check a thousand percent. It's like there's nothing in my
neighborhood that's so awesome that people are trying to get.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
In, right, Yeah, And like I feel like they knew
better about where I live within Los Angeles than I do.
I think I gave them the wrong information about where
I live and they're like, you don't live there, find
out where you live and come back what is your zone? Ide?

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
Like what is I have to look at of surveyor's
map to get into this.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
And I have not given away or taken anything from
the group, So why am I in it?

Speaker 4 (01:08:07):
I don't you like to look?

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
I know I like to belong you. I like to belong.
Was looking to belong. Let's play a game. Okay, we're
gonna play a game called Gift you a Curse. But
I need a number between one and ten from you. Nine. Okay.
I have to do some light calculating to get our
game pieces. So right now, you can promote, recommend, do
whatever you want. I'll be right back. I would like

(01:08:33):
to say that you're doing great, all of you out there,
and you should feel nice and give yourself a hug
and hear me. I've never I don't think i've ever
seenized on this podcast. Interesting. What's in this bag?

Speaker 4 (01:08:50):
Oh? Got a big dust?

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:08:54):
Probably the travel bind does not get rifled through often
or not.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
I wasn't listening. Did you promote or recommend? No?

Speaker 4 (01:09:02):
I panicked you guys said a prayer.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
Do you have anything to promote right now? Yourself?

Speaker 4 (01:09:07):
Myself, my brand?

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
You're on Instagram? Oh and you have the other services? Really?

Speaker 4 (01:09:16):
My Instagram is pictures of my dogs.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
Sure, have you enjoyed anything recently enjoyed? Yeah, that's not
of your own?

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
Like shows and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Whatever, movie, food, music, movie TV.

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
Why can't I think of one thing?

Speaker 2 (01:09:33):
Because it's a horrible question. It is, it will erase
your mind.

Speaker 4 (01:09:37):
I yeah, I rewatched Hereditary the other day to treat it,
and I watched the last thirty minutes on mute. Oh sure,
she's have really taken the choices?

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
Did you see bring her back?

Speaker 4 (01:09:48):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
I feel like Hereditary? I mean, who I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:09:52):
Gonna I'm going to race out of the studio, go home,
close every window, and angle the TV away from any surface.
It is noon, not a good time I watch movie.
I cannot wait to get home and put it on.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
Did you see talk to Me? I did? You didn't?
You didn't like talk to me?

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
It didn't It didn't get me. Okay, it's not that
I didn't get it. It didn't give me. No, I
liked it. I liked Yeah, it was a cool thing
that I've never really seen a horror movie do. Where
like everyone immediately is like cool, we're talking to ghosts. No,
One's like that's not real.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
What are you doing?

Speaker 4 (01:10:23):
Everyone was immediately on board.

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
Okay, I wonder how you feel. And this is the
same people, the same character.

Speaker 4 (01:10:29):
I'll have to look, but.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
I think you'll probably like it better.

Speaker 4 (01:10:32):
Was it as bleak as talked to me?

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
It's I mean, I think it is the bleakest thing
I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 (01:10:38):
Was it mean mean bleak? Mean mean sad?

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
No, it's not mean.

Speaker 4 (01:10:42):
I found talk to me to be mean sad.

Speaker 2 (01:10:44):
No, I would say this is like just sad, just
so dark and sad.

Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
That sounds great. Does a dog get hurt?

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
I can't remember if any animals get hurt? I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:10:55):
This is the thing I want to promote is I
don't do anything with them. But there's a site, an
app called does the Dog Die?

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
Oh, that's a good thing to download.

Speaker 4 (01:11:03):
Premium version I think is ten dollars a year, and
any movie or TV show And it's not just dog dying,
it's does a dragon feel sad?

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
Sure?

Speaker 4 (01:11:13):
Our fingernails ripped off? You can put in anything that's
either triggering or upsetting. Because if I see a movie
where a dog is confused about being abandoned, I actually
have to go to the hospital. It's debilitating and I
am now I've gotten a little bit better. But it's
really nice because you can see like, okay, yeah, in
this episode of Suernobyl from minute thirty, I just skipped that.

(01:11:37):
That's another frequent rewatch for me because amazing explaining grave things.

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
It's so I loved it.

Speaker 4 (01:11:44):
It's perfect. But iodine.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
That's how they say right, they say antibiotic, antibiotic or something.
There's like the way you say it with a British accent.
Is anytime I've ever heard it, I've thought, wait, I
don't know what you're sing saying to me.

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
We're going to find out.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
Doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (01:12:03):
I really like it. Jared Harrison Runtkin. It's a measure
of right right.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
I love him. I loved him in mad Men.

Speaker 4 (01:12:16):
And Everything, put him in all the things I'm here
to promote.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Jared.

Speaker 4 (01:12:20):
I am too, who never stops working. He doesn't need it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
He needs the help, Jared, reach out, reach out. This
is how we play gift or a curse. I'm going
to name three things. You'll tell me if there are
a gift or a curse, and why then don't tell
if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers.
Oh great, so you can loose I love that look
forward to it. Okay, the first one is from an
unknown listener who knows where this came from. But it
was a listener, and we do appreciate you despite me,

(01:12:44):
either forgetting to put your name down or getting lost
in transactor, lost in translation gift or a curse public
Venmo transactions gift.

Speaker 4 (01:12:55):
Why, Oh, it's so personal. It's like a girl I
knew from improv who married rich is paying her babysitter
with a date Saturday for Saturday. Oh the ephemera A

(01:13:18):
man I dated for.

Speaker 2 (01:13:19):
One moment.

Speaker 4 (01:13:21):
Paying utilities to a woman who has this same last name.
His wife took his name, but he's chipping in for utilities.

Speaker 2 (01:13:31):
Correct gift. I don't participate. I refuse to participate, and
I feel like it is an opt in, which is
always a little confusing for me.

Speaker 4 (01:13:41):
Interesting, Oh, I have it, so it's opt out, like
you have to opt to make it private.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
I feel like I've never been asked and I've always
been private.

Speaker 4 (01:13:50):
Oh maybe it's a setting.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
Because it feels like it should be backwards. Don't you
think like it shouldn't be private, it should be public,
and you turn on private.

Speaker 4 (01:14:00):
I feel that that's what I have.

Speaker 2 (01:14:02):
And you're currently public or you've turned I actually don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:14:06):
I think sometimes it's public and someone is private.

Speaker 2 (01:14:08):
This is why a worry for me. I'm like, I
think I'm private, But am I like this loser from
high school that's paying his mom for pizza or whatever?
Do you know what I mean? I don't want to
be my name like people seeing my petty transactions.

Speaker 4 (01:14:20):
I love seeing them, and not even in a mean way.
I'm like, it's beautiful. It's like ephemera. It's a torn
corner of a birthday card from the eighteen hundreds.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
Well, I don't mind seeing them. I just don't want
to know anyone.

Speaker 4 (01:14:33):
There are times where I feel a little bit exhibitionist
and I'm like, I want them to see that. I
went to dinner with one of my closest friends.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
And they demanded eighteen dollars. Yeah, yeah, okay, you got
one right so far? Thank you. The second one is
from two different Patreon listeners. They both submitted a similar thing.
Patricia and Sophia thank you gift to a curse when
watching a cooking show slash video and the person says
Jarlick for jarred garlic curse.

Speaker 4 (01:15:04):
Why I've never heard of that, and I don't like
the way it sounds.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
And apparently it's happening a lot, because it's getting submitted
by multiple people. Jarlick jar lick.

Speaker 4 (01:15:16):
And this is a cooking video. So we're looking at
sort of like what are the bone appetite stuff? And
someone says, jarl like, a jar of garlic is a curse?
You think so, yeah, because it's the it's a bad color,
the colors bad. The color is so different from regular
you open a garlic, And I don't like the way

(01:15:37):
that the word jarli sounds. We do have frozen garlic,
like Trader Joe's will sell those like little tiny ice
cube trays farlic farlic that sounds wonderful. That sounds like
a folk character. What's the Did I get it right?

Speaker 2 (01:15:55):
The answer is it's an it's a curse. Okay, good
have you'd have been so I don't think jarlck it's
not necessary. It's actually it's more confusing because now we
have to learn a new word for a thing that
is very When you say jarred garlic, you know what
that is?

Speaker 4 (01:16:11):
Jarred garlic.

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
Now that we're even saying, I don't I feel like
I'm losing grasp of the English language.

Speaker 4 (01:16:17):
I feel like I've never heard.

Speaker 2 (01:16:18):
A word before jarred garlic.

Speaker 4 (01:16:21):
Hearing the two people said that thing where Jarlick makes
me feel out of touch, like a loser, like I've
been in a coma for three years. What's happening with
culture that I don't know that. Sophia and Patricia, they're
in a group that's most people, and I'm all the
way over here.

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
This is my entire experience. I was just talking about this.
I feel like there's a newsletter that goes out to
ninety nine percent of the population that I just didn't
get signed up for. And I'll be like, wait, everyone
knows this, and they knew it immediately, and they're acting
like I should have known it about it six months ago.

Speaker 4 (01:16:55):
Well, you have your phone on, do not disturb. You're free.

Speaker 2 (01:16:58):
But I don't feel free, all right? I want to
be I'm desperate for attention to Maybe.

Speaker 4 (01:17:06):
Maybe you and I will hold hands and pray out
at the end of this and we'll try to become
included more.

Speaker 2 (01:17:12):
So we'll like, you know about the next jar Lick.

Speaker 4 (01:17:16):
Yeah, I want to see it come in. I don't
want to get hit in the side of the.

Speaker 2 (01:17:18):
Head with another jar. I couldn't handle it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:21):
No, it's I'm one jar lick away from a.

Speaker 2 (01:17:23):
Rubber room, all right. This third one is from another
Patreon person, an a gift or a curse. Salt life
car stickers.

Speaker 4 (01:17:33):
Oh, like a bumper sticker that says salt life and
it's like surf people saying that.

Speaker 2 (01:17:38):
I guess that's always been my assumption. That's what it is.

Speaker 4 (01:17:41):
I'm I'm smiling. I think it's a gift. I like
knowing that people surf because that's so involved. I never
we occupy completely different areas and they like their hobby
so much that they put a sticker on their car
about it. And it's salt and it's salt life. Those
are two nice words. I love to see it. I

(01:18:02):
love seeing the back of a car and being like,
that's they did a diorama of themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
Right, like a little like school project. Yes, the trifled cardboard. Yeah, wrong, curse.

Speaker 4 (01:18:16):
That just that seems mean.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
We'll explained this has nothing to do with mean. First
of all, I see like you. Until you said the
surf thing, I was still wondering what it even meant.
So maybe I'm wrong. See what you don't even know?
What does it mean? We could be committing to something
that's bad right now?

Speaker 4 (01:18:33):
Can you have a laptop?

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
This could be a group that you know, bomb's clinics.
I don't know what salt life is. I need a
more clear It could.

Speaker 4 (01:18:45):
H it stands for a save abortion. Let me talk.
It's the opposite. Yeah, I think it would be stop abortion. Yes,
literally get today? You're literally today life?

Speaker 2 (01:19:02):
Yeah? Who knows? And most of these bumper sekers are
always so vague and I can't commit to what I
don't want to know about your life. Okay, keep it
to yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:19:11):
You're telling me you're at a red light and there's
an empty car but in front of you, and you
aren't feeling left out of having a little thing to read.

Speaker 2 (01:19:20):
I'm glad to have a moment of peace. All right,
Salt life hot least? Do we know what salt life is.
I think it's a company.

Speaker 4 (01:19:29):
It's a company.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
Oh, it's a company.

Speaker 4 (01:19:31):
Why did I think it was surfing?

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
No, but it's it's connected to celebrating the ocean and
coastal activities. Okay, oh my god, they are Okay, then,
thank god.

Speaker 4 (01:19:41):
I think it's a gift. I love to know that
there are people who do the ocean and water activities,
and that they also have cars.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
They're not always in the water.

Speaker 4 (01:19:50):
It's not just a boat, it's a car. They can
do multitudes. Also, I will say, as an olive branch,
sure to this idea, I think the twenty six point
two oval umper sticker is a curse.

Speaker 2 (01:20:01):
Oh and there's there's just so many of them. Yeah,
I can't creep up with the math on which what
does this one mean? And like the ones that are
really small, I'm like, oh, now I'm just sad. Like,
what's the smallest number you can have of one of
those things? That's I think it's ten point two, it's
or thirteen point thirteen point one is a half marathon.

(01:20:21):
Get back to me when you've got to the full,
or just I don't want to know.

Speaker 4 (01:20:26):
Don't stop at the sticker. Don't you put the sticker
on at thirteen point one?

Speaker 2 (01:20:30):
That makes me sad. The energy you spent buying and
putting that on your car could have been spent training.
You shouldn't be driving, you should be running to work.
You should be running. Maybe maybe it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:39):
Would be a different number.

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Absolutely well, you got two out of three. Okay, that's good,
Thank you horrible. This is the final segment of the podcast.
It's called they said no emails. People a writing into
I said no gifts at gmail dot com. They're also
sending voice notes. People send voice notes, you prefer it's easier,
and they need to be sixty seconds long and recorded

(01:21:02):
in a quiet room. That's easy.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
This is so fun.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
But we're gonna read one. Okay, we help me answer
a question? Yeah, okay, let's get into the talk here.
This is Bridger and guessed, very clean, very cold greeting.
I'll say this is please. I need your help with
a social dilemma. I have a work event coming up soon,
and while I normally feel comfortable chatting with people, I
always find myself second guessing how to leave conversations without

(01:21:27):
being awkward. Okay, you know those moments when the conversation
has naturally quieted down and you're unsure of what's supposed
to happen next. I tend to linger too long out
of politeness or leave out of panic. I know both
of those feelings. How do you wrap things up at
move along? At parties, especially when it's someone more senior
or somebody I don't know, well, I never know what
to do. Would love any advice or phrases you have

(01:21:49):
to navigate. I imagine you're much better at this. I
can't imagine where this person got that idea. Benjamin Benjamin
is having the problem of at a converse leaving a conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:22:02):
This is a this is a problem that I also have.

Speaker 2 (01:22:05):
I don't know how to handle this at all.

Speaker 4 (01:22:06):
You are you have like dysmorphia about the way that
you come across.

Speaker 2 (01:22:10):
No, I think you just don't know me very you're.

Speaker 4 (01:22:12):
Very polished and lovely, like straight up. And also, yeah,
I don't I don't have an answer. This also the
question itself would be like writing in how do I
become a prima ballerina with verbal advice? It's like you
got to put in the years, you got to know.

(01:22:35):
There's nothing I'm gonna tell you, although I will say,
Matt was it or Benjamin Benjamin close. Benjamin did ask
a good question in this big existential one, which is
do you have suggestions of phrases?

Speaker 2 (01:22:48):
Which is incredible, right, gives us an opportunity at least, Yeah,
let me think my I mean, my two go tos
are always I'm going to get a drink, right, I
need to use the bathroom. But you know both of
those that you kind of have a small amount of
them for each party, because then eventually people are like, well,

(01:23:09):
you've asked, You've gone to get nineteen drinks. How could
you possibly know?

Speaker 4 (01:23:13):
I also think at this point, I'm going to go
get a drink has become like not even euphemistic anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:23:22):
People know what's going on.

Speaker 4 (01:23:23):
People know exactly what it is, and it's it's almost
like a version of looking at your watch going well
it's getting late. It's just so used. The first thing
I thought of was turning it around to the party
saying like do you know anyone else here? Or like
oh before, or like bring it out to the space

(01:23:44):
so that way your body language.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
Kind of opens up. You're half leaving, and.

Speaker 4 (01:23:48):
You've made their eyes move away from you, because I
find getting stuck in eye contact to be It's sticky.

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
Right, It's very and it's my problem is is like
i'll run into a I'll say, well, I'll just I'll
let you enjoy it, or I'll leave you alone, is
what I'll say. And that's not No one wants to
be like Oh, now they think he thinks I'm bothering them.
There's no, that's not a good way out of it.

Speaker 4 (01:24:11):
I unfortunately do have this dynamic with one of my
closest friends, or I had it before, and my husband
overheard us doing exactly what you're saying. Like I was
saying to her, I don't want to take up too
much of your time. Sorry, you probably have to go,
and she was saying, I'm so sorry. I'll get out
of your hair. I just need to charge my phone.

(01:24:31):
I'll be out of here. And he saw we are
very close friends. We worked together for years. She officiated
my wedding. He was watching it happen and stopped us
and said, I just need to say something. Neither of
you has plans, and both of you want to be

(01:24:54):
with each other. You like each other, you are friends.
You are being friends right now, and you're not mad
at her, she's not mad at you. You both want
her to sit on your couch and watch Celtic Woman
music videos.

Speaker 2 (01:25:12):
Oh, I like say, stand of this.

Speaker 4 (01:25:14):
We do it. And then that was like a turning
point in our friendship. We need it to be like
manually reset.

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
No, I think you get into rhythms like that.

Speaker 4 (01:25:24):
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, the saying like I'll get out
of your hair, right, I think, oh, they want to
get away. Yeah, other phrases, this is great. I feel
like I don't want to tell you how to run
your show, but I would love to hear people write
in with phrases.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
That, oh, that's a great I have you get out
of a conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:25:40):
Yeah, polite things, Oh, it's great.

Speaker 2 (01:25:42):
To back away. I would love to hear something for
my own well being. Yeah, do you know what I mean?
This is kind of in the same territory. I wonder
how you feel about nice to see you, because people
have started cheating with saying that instead of saying nice
to meet you, and I see right through it, and
I just think.

Speaker 4 (01:25:57):
Nice to see you is a weird fucking thing to
say forever. Regardless, if you're meeting someone for the first
time and they say nice to see you, I know
that they're doing the thing where they don't know if
you met me or not.

Speaker 2 (01:26:06):
Nobody is being fooled by that anymore. No.

Speaker 4 (01:26:09):
Wait, I just thought of one. It's I'm gonna take
a lap, I'm going to.

Speaker 2 (01:26:13):
Circulate a little. And you think that's good.

Speaker 4 (01:26:15):
Well, you do it like in a tongue in cheek
way where it's like, all right, let me just do
a lap, where you're like, I'm gonna let me just circulate.
I'm gonna have to hobnob, so it takes the pressure
out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
I can't imagine myself saying that I'm gonna take a lap.
Does that sound.

Speaker 4 (01:26:35):
Jimmy Stewart affect.

Speaker 2 (01:26:36):
No, not at all. I don't know what to say.
I'm trapped.

Speaker 4 (01:26:43):
I'm I'm an earthy, brassy, sort of broad type. I
can get away with it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:49):
I'm gonna take a lap. I'm going to see what's
on the.

Speaker 4 (01:26:52):
Let me just I have to say hi to a
few people.

Speaker 2 (01:26:54):
Oh, I have to stay hi to a few again.
That seems mean.

Speaker 4 (01:26:59):
I have to. I want to make sure I say
I've talked to you enough. Well, this has gone far enough.
I feel trapped. I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (01:27:11):
I can barely breathe. This isn't great.

Speaker 4 (01:27:14):
Just walk away, yeah, I think also like calling attention
to it, like, wow, did you feel the conversation? Just
go away crazy hard right now? Holy shit, I'm scared?
Are you scared?

Speaker 2 (01:27:25):
I think that's fair. I feel sick and maybe blame
them for it. Yeah, and then say I gotta go
get a drink. Perfect.

Speaker 4 (01:27:32):
Because of how horrible this was.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
I hope that we don't cross pads again. Wow. I'm
gonna be watching out for you. This was hard for me.

Speaker 4 (01:27:40):
This sucked.

Speaker 2 (01:27:42):
Well. We answered the question perfectly.

Speaker 4 (01:27:44):
Yeah, but people should still write in with you, bra.

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
If people I think send them in. I think that
maybe we could next episode or whenever we get these phrases,
we'll update let people know, just in order to help
in situations. This is great again. It's autility podcast. People
come here for life help.

Speaker 4 (01:28:04):
This is this old house of talking exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:28:09):
Well, I have so many things to deal with that
you've brought today.

Speaker 4 (01:28:13):
Yeah, good luck.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
This could change everything from me walking and I felt
worried for you that you display the gifts, and I
hope that you don't feel the pressure to put them
all up. We'll put up whatever we want. It's kind
of rotating, okay, great, oh, rotating.

Speaker 4 (01:28:27):
Okay, it's a gallery.

Speaker 2 (01:28:28):
It's a gallery. I mean, if you had to pick what,
this could easily this.

Speaker 4 (01:28:32):
Yeah, that really that goes.

Speaker 2 (01:28:34):
It goes matches with the dinosaur and the unicorn.

Speaker 4 (01:28:38):
Imagine you just hit your hand on the table while
unspooling this slinky. Imagine if this table were marble. Oh,
you'd be bleeding.

Speaker 2 (01:28:45):
You'd be bleeding and cold, so chilly, Willy, I can't
believe had long sticks to get off. Okay, there we go,
it's going right on to the table. Look at that there.
Oh she matches the cactus candy perfectly gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (01:29:01):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:29:02):
I've had such a nice time with you.

Speaker 4 (01:29:03):
This was lovely.

Speaker 2 (01:29:04):
Thank you for bringing all of these objects.

Speaker 4 (01:29:07):
Thank you for taking them off my hands.

Speaker 2 (01:29:08):
Of course, really this rocked listener. The podcast is over.
We're closing it down for the day. Do whatever you
want to do. I don't want anything to do with it.
I love you, good, Bobby, I said, No Gifts is
an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson,

(01:29:30):
and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The
theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann, and we
couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must
follow the show on Instagram. At I said No Gifts,
that's where you're going to see pictures of all these
wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see
the gifts.

Speaker 4 (01:29:50):
And did you hear.

Speaker 1 (01:29:54):
Funa man myself perfectly clear? But you're I guess home.
You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guests.
Your own presence is presents enough.

Speaker 3 (01:30:12):
I already had too much stuff, So how do you
dare to surbey me?

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Host

Bridger Winegar

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Anna Drezen Disobeys Bridger